1001 Magic Item Command Words [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTimePost
Generic Fighter

08-08-06, 09:59 AM		This seems like the best place for it so...

Your PC has just completed "The Ultimate Doo-Hicky of Unending Doom!" Now the only thing left is to choose a Command Word that will strike Fear in to your foes! Or maybe you need a Command Word that is hard for a foe to guess should it fall in to the wrong hands(Like the PCs). So give us Command Words you've thought of. I'll start off with a few I/ve seen used.

[1] "Abracapocalypse" Perfect for a staff of Power or Magi

[2] "Mnbrvcnp" half the challenge is figuering out how to pronounce it:P

[3] "BOOM!" Wand of Fireballs anyone?

[4] "Hadouken!" nice for most damage dealing wands or the Ring of the Ram.

[5] "Shut Up!" for a wand of Silence.

So keep it going.

Generic Fighter:fight!:
tarkin

08-08-06, 10:51 AM		[6] "I" This is the best command word around. Created for it's shortness, you can always scream out an "I". Slight disadvantage due to it's tendency to go off in random conversations. I {SWOOOSH} just don't understand why that happens.
the_great_mighty_nerd

08-08-06, 10:57 AM		7. "when pigs fly" (command words for lance of livestock lifting)
shadow_kras

08-08-06, 03:02 PM		[8] "aaaaaaaaaa" (10 a`s), everytime the owner tried to spell it, he failed at using the item, for saying less or more than 10 (a)s.
KirkBb

08-08-06, 03:27 PM		9. "Crescent Moon Slash" particularly funny if this is a non combat item, like a helm of telepathy or something.

10. "fer teh win" come on, great for any combat item, from weapons to wands, scrols, potions... think of the possibilities.

11. "My **** is bleeding" because sometimes, you just want to degrade your players

12. houkiboshi, just random. I think it means comet

13. anysortoffakelatinicus, its used often enough that it shouldn't need to be posted, but I will

14. "Nii", it has to be a command word to something right? Maybe that magical shrubbery...
UmbralKnight

08-08-06, 03:51 PM		14. "Nii", it has to be a command word to something right? Maybe that magical shrubbery...
Or that herring of tree cutting...
15. "Echi'echi'echi'pteng'NIWOM!" In the same spirit as 14.
16. "Muckluck". Bound to have the rest of the part giggling at you whenever you use that wand of yours.
17."Blast!" Perfect for that elderly wizard with the cultured accent's wand of fireball.
RavenDrake

08-08-06, 04:19 PM		19. "Abracadaver" (Anything that raises the dead)
20. "Hocuspokemon" (Summon Monster xx)
21. "Wryyyyyyyyyyyyy" (Item with Time Stop... sorry, that's sort of an inside joke)
22. "Pruneeatingweaslewithachainsaw" (Good for anything... though your characters may ask "What's a chainsaw?")
AJ53

08-08-06, 04:26 PM		19. "Abracadaver" (Anything that raises the dead)
20. "Hocuspokemon" (Summon Monster xx)
21. "Wryyyyyyyyyyyyy" (Item with Time Stop... sorry, that's sort of an inside joke)
22. "Pruneeatingweaslewithachainsaw" (Good for anything... though your characters may ask "What's a chainsaw?")
the "WRYYYYYYYYYY" thing is far from an inside joke. Make sure you smash your target with a steamroller, too.
Rapidexit

08-08-06, 05:29 PM		23 *clap clap* - funny on a wand of light or darkness. prone to go off on its own at celebrations. requires the user to have a free hand to use.

24 "Where is my... ?" - cute on locate object, monster summoning, cone of cold, or magnificant mansion spells. "Where is my scorching ray?"

25 "Fireball!" - On an item that doesnt cast fireball like phantasmal killer or cure serious wounds. A really good way to distract someone, or make them dive for cover. "here let me cure you with my wand. 'Fireball!' "

26 "Mwah hahaha" - BBEG's new item that goes off at the end of his speach. Very funny on something that casts Tasha's Hideous Laughter on everyone in a 25' radius around him. For that insecure BBEG who dont want to laugh alone.

27 " " no command word... you just have to shake it or slap it a few times. think a remote control with dieing AA's, except its your wand.. It can be cute seeing a pc try experimenting with this to learn its command word after haveing seen someone else use it.
Harrowdroth

08-09-06, 01:18 AM		28: as my first Dm would say "Booda Booda" for anything with a magic word.

29: Or my personal favorite "Stupid f***ing piece of S***!" OOPS :eek:

30: "Just a scratch" Great for healing wands

31: "Mother of Pelor!" Enlarge person

32: "Mom" Wand of silence, Ironic

33: "Gimee a corpse" Fireball,Animate undead,

34: "Holy nine hells" Wand of true seeing

35: "K.I.S.S." wand of feeble mind

36: "HUH" Wand of feeble mindm canadians love this one :D

Harrowdroth
LordBOB777

08-09-06, 01:46 AM		35: "K.I.S.S." wand of feeble mind

awesome
Thurbane

08-09-06, 03:45 AM		37. "Form blazing sword!"

38. "...and I'll form, the head!"

...on the serious side, I generally look to Latin for my inspiration for command words. The command for a Fireball might be "Flamma!"
Subedei

08-09-06, 04:38 AM		In response to your quotes Thurbane, would it really hurt anything if every single monster was given rules for use as a PC race? Surely it takes very little time to create such rules.

In my opinion the distinction between PC races and monsters is an outdated concept held over from earlier additions of D&D. It's my hope that in future editions of D&D we just have races and classes and all "monsters" would be assumed to take class levels, thus, their default stat blocks would reflect class levels rather than racial HD. What think you of this?
lint trap

08-09-06, 08:35 AM		There was a list of "common" command words in AD&D 2nd Edition. I think it was in Volo's Guide to All Things Magical. WotC has it as a free .pdf in the old editions archive.
dengarbountyhunter

08-09-06, 03:59 PM		In response to your quotes Thurbane, would it really hurt anything if every single monster was given rules for use as a PC race? Surely it takes very little time to create such rules.

In my opinion the distinction between PC races and monsters is an outdated concept held over from earlier additions of D&D. It's my hope that in future editions of D&D we just have races and classes and all "monsters" would be assumed to take class levels, thus, their default stat blocks would reflect class levels rather than racial HD. What think you of this?
Are you on the wrong thread or something?
Radijs

08-09-06, 05:27 PM		39: Cthulhu Fhtagn!
40: Hastur Nice for a cure light wounds. People always need more then one of those.
41: Pazuzu Who weren't you supposed to call again?
42: <Insert name of good aligned deity> be damned!
CryoSilver

08-09-06, 09:33 PM		43: "Oh :censored: we're all gonna die!" for a contingent Word of Recall
Elessar

08-09-06, 09:54 PM		44. "From the land beyond Beyond, from the world past hope and fear, I bid thee genie now appear."
Silmon

08-09-06, 10:14 PM		For the wand of wonder (sorry, still 2nd ed running in my brain :) )


45. Mother---said in a skittish tone while shaking slightly with fear :D
Thurbane

08-10-06, 06:01 AM		<snip>Feel free to start another thread to discuss this if you like, and I'll give you my opinion. This really isn't the place for it.
Rehenrok

08-10-06, 02:45 PM		46. YOUR GOOSE IS COOKED!! - Heroes' Feast spell Strong Bad E-mail " Narrator" (http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail144.html) check it out.
Secrets Untold

08-10-06, 05:45 PM		"...-Doken": Good for basically anything. Just insert a word in front of -doken. Examples: Fighterdoken, Medoken, Boatdoken (and now some of my own) weaseldoken, BOOMdoken, STFUdoken.

God, I wish I had a wand of that last one...
Xavon_Wrentaile

08-10-06, 10:12 PM		"Kltpzyxm", preferably for summoning or banishment items.

"Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken" - for a haste effect
Flay Crimsonwind

08-11-06, 12:50 AM		50) "Screw you guys, I'm going home." anything that teleports

51) "oops" any large AoE nuke (fireball, etc)

52) "Haha" deathknell

53) "You're stupid and ugly" (http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=060704) Speak with dead, to the big baddie you just nuked, teleported behind, and cast deathknell on.
Grocery_Bag

08-11-06, 03:21 AM		54) Thunder Thunder! THUNDER! HOOOOOO!

55) By the power of Greyskull, I HAVE THE POWER!

Sorry, I just couldnt resist that.
artemis the hunter

08-11-06, 07:16 PM		or to be unimaginative:
command words for a folding boat:
56: boat
57: ship
58: box
others:
Summon monster XX: what's that ugly thing behind you
Ghost sound: look! a distraction!
MinuetofElves

08-12-06, 09:09 AM		59: Burn, Baby, Burn (activation word for Flame tounge)
Wren

08-12-06, 09:40 PM		60. "Click-click" (Insert sound of hammer being pulled back on a gun) Good for about any wand with a attack spell.
Thurbane

08-12-06, 10:13 PM		*double post*
Thurbane

08-12-06, 10:15 PM		61. "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwlll lantysiliogogogoch" - a village in Wales
Witchcraft

08-12-06, 11:48 PM		62: "Up, Up, and Away!" Broom of Flying

63: "Extra Crispy!" Anything to do with fire!

64: "Did I do that?" Teleport

65: "Heres Chucky!" Animate Object (wooden dolls)

66: "Sick'em!" Summon #
General_Krueger

08-13-06, 03:05 AM		67. "Fall! ...Like leaves... in... fall!" Activating featherfall
68. "I love the smell of bat guano in the morning." for fireball
artemis the hunter

08-13-06, 03:13 AM		69: regular or extra crispy? used to activate the everburning barbecue
R99

08-13-06, 03:28 PM		15. "Echi'echi'echi'pteng'NIWOM!" In the same spirit as 14.

70: I do believe you mean "ecky ecky ecky ecky pikang zoop boing gooden zoo owly zhv"
Wargamer

08-13-06, 04:26 PM		This one is legitimate. I assure you that this really does work on real-world items. Thus, logically, it will work for D&D items.

71: "Right, you will bloody well work or I'm putting my b*stard sword through you!"
savant_warlord13

08-13-06, 06:37 PM		This one is legitimate. I assure you that this really does work on real-world items. Thus, logically, it will work for D&D items.

71: "Right, you will bloody well work or I'm putting my b*stard sword through you!"
You can say bastard sword on the boards, you don't need the asterisk

72. Anything in Latin
DrakoShade

08-13-06, 08:42 PM		73) "Vith!" (What Drow would refuse such an easily-used command word?)
74) "Meow?" (Perfect for your druid who wild-shapes into cats!)
75) "I'm going to regret this in the morning..." (Especially good for a headband of charming for use in the local tavern.)
76) "How do you say '**** you' in Elven?" (Let's hear it for attack spells.)
77) "Oh, butterflies!" (Actually had a character use this one... on sixteen Wands of Fireball. You can awkwardly fit eight in each hand... same command word... lots of fun!)
Elessar

08-13-06, 09:08 PM		74) Klaatu barada nikto (for commanding extraplanar constructs and messing up incantations with tomes of ultimate evil.)
artemis the hunter

08-14-06, 01:09 AM		79. now you see me, now you don't: ring of invisibility
shmeck

08-14-06, 02:05 AM		80) abracasphincter
81) underpants
82) hockeypuck
83) Don Rickles
84) suppository
Dunelord

08-14-06, 02:12 AM		"Cool" as the command word to turn offf a flameing weapon.
Kinghappo

08-14-06, 11:06 AM		81) **** Rocket!!!! - Magic Missles
82) "Has anyone seen my trouser snake?" - brown bag of tricks
83) Sheesh how about a little privacy! - blade barrier
84) Circumsisions now half off! - same spell as above
85) Gotta be the shoes! - wand of water walking
86) ::sung:: "Cause this is thriller! Thrilllller Night!" ::clap:: - any raise dead spell
87) Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!! - Zone of truth
88) You wouldn't like me when i'm angry! - rage
Kozeljnik

08-14-06, 03:25 PM		"...-Doken": Good for basically anything. Just insert a word in front of -doken. Examples: Fighterdoken, Medoken, Boatdoken (and now some of my own) weaseldoken, BOOMdoken, STFUdoken.

God, I wish I had a wand of that last one...

or maybe Dokken!, for the 1980's-loving Bards out there...


R'acan ahalgana chamiabac ahalmez, ahatocob tocapa, chiamiaholom ahchami - overly long incantation for unleashing all sorts of hell. preferably shouted with a booming voice and a somewhat straight face. and i didn't just make that phrase up (took it from Bal-Sagoth's A Black Moon Broods Over Lemuria. killer song by the way)
Generic Fighter

08-17-06, 12:08 AM		Some of these are hilarious :rofl: And a few more from me...

91: "This is my BOOMSTICK!" Anything with offensive spells.

92: "I AM the Boomstick!" Warlock Scepter enhanced Eldritch Blast

93: *Rasperry* :D

94: "SPOON!" Murlynd's Spoon

95: "Flame ON!" any Flaming Weapon

96: "May you get the mount you deserve." Cursed wand of Mount 50% chance of summoning a Large Pig with a saddle:P

97: "Behold, The Power of Love!" Wand of any healing spell.

98: "Shake, shake, shake. Shake your BOO-TAY!" Otto's Irisistable Dance:P


Keep on going.

Generic Fighter:fight!:
stargate525

08-17-06, 12:24 AM		99. 'Holy <preferred diety>' Commune and the like.

100. 'Look, a distraction!' Useful on illusion-creating items, or that cloak that teleports you in a poof or smoke.

101. 'you're a genius!' Wand of Fox's Cunning. (Don't know if that's possible, but oh well)
artemis the hunter

08-17-06, 12:27 AM		"Holy Bat Batman": scroll of summon celestial bat :D
Pandaemoni

08-17-06, 12:50 AM		"Ishkabibble" (pretty much works for anything)

"Go, go gadget [rod]!" (Works especially well for the Rod of Wonder)

"Go for the eyes, Boo!" (wand of Monster Summoning I)

"Slubberdegullion" (for a wand of Ray of Stupidity)

"Taghairm" (for any wand containing divinations)

"Would you kindly die, please?" (wand of fireballs or other direct combat spell)

"Cribellate!" (wand of Web or Summon Swarm)

"Obnubilate!" (Wand of Darkness, Fog Cloud, or the like)
Kinghappo

08-17-06, 01:39 AM		"I wonder what this button does?" any attack wand

"Rawwwwwwwwwwwwhidddddeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Yeah!!" Summon monster - Celestial Bison

"Not-in-the-face! Not-in-the-face! Not-in-the-face! Not-in-the-face! Not-in-the-face! Not-in-the-face! Not-in-the-face!" (any rogue using UMD) [personally used]

"Big money, big money, no whammies, no whammies.....Stop!" time stop spells or paralyze(sp) spells

"You are the weakest link....goodbye." Finger of death
artemis the hunter

08-17-06, 01:44 AM		LEEEEEEEEEEEERRROOYYYYYYYYYYY JJEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKIIIIIIIN NNNNNNNSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! : haste.
ArchmagusXar

08-17-06, 01:54 AM		117: "Mekka lekka hai mekka hiney ho": useful for nearly anything, but especially good for wish spells.
Flay Crimsonwind

08-17-06, 01:56 AM		"Go, go gadget [rod]!"
Sounds kinda rude, dontcha think? :P

"Dodge this." - True Strike, or the occassional coup de grace

"Can't touch this" - Ethereal jaunt

"I didn't do it" - Meteor Strike

"Do you feel lucky? Well do ya, punk?" - Deck of Illusions

"There, all better now" - True Ressurection

"L.A.M.F." - Inflict Critical Wounds, mass

"Ping." - Magic Missile

and the ever-popular

"Fireball! Fireball!"
InsanePsychoRabbit

08-17-06, 11:55 AM		"Dragon P*ss!" - according to My DM, that's the phrase that activates my wand of magic missile

"Sit, boy!" - Beads of Subjugation (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=9831227&postcount=122)
Taim Kelrathos

08-17-06, 08:29 PM		128. "It's Morphin' Time!" for any transformation spell :ayyyy!:
AJ53

08-17-06, 11:49 PM		<insert two-minute dialogue here>: any cursed combat wand
Bulletproof_Condom

08-18-06, 02:19 AM		Spat!

Spooooooon!

Higgledy Piggledy.

Gooey Nougat!

Haggis McMutton!
Patrick Draken-Korin

08-19-06, 05:42 PM		134. "Braaaaaains" - fox's cunning, mind blank, feeblemind or create food and water
135. "wujaharataja" - another pernounce this command word (woo-ja-ay-ra-tay-ya). used this myself.
136. "how does this thing work, again?"
137. "work dagnabit" -anything/everything made by a senile wizard
138. "password"
139. "potato backwards"
140. "<insert spell name, spelled backwards>"
141. "die-Die-DIE!" -any healing item
142. "purplemonkeydishwasher"
143. "guacamoly" did i even spell that right? oooh!
144. "did i even say that right? wait!"

145. "i wonder what this one does"
146. "oooh, shiny"
147. "bite me!"
148. "bite my shiny metal donkey"
149. "just watch me" - mislead or mirror immage
150. "stop i've got you surrounded" - morror image
151. "i see lond, i see france" - clairaudience/clairvoyance
152. "why do little blue men hit me with fish?"
153. "do'h"
154. "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES"

155. "i see dead people" -any attack spell
156. "let'er rip!"
157. "Not Me!"
158. "wake up, you long eared varmint" - awaken
159. "<insert string of epitaphs>" -blasphemy
160. "here boy" -call lightning
161. "thank you, come again" -bansishment
162. "stay" -freedom, freedom of movement
163. "duuuude"
164. "word"

165. "wholy rusted metal, batman!" -rusting grasp
166. "oooooohhhmmmmmmm" -commune
167. "taste the rainbow" -color spray, rainbow pattern or anytrhing prismatic
168. "wickflame" -fireball
169. "make me" -clone
170. "oh a <insert item here>, that's a really useful item"
171. "quit lying down on the job" -raise dead

ok, that's all i can come up with for the moment.
nephsytis

08-27-06, 02:11 PM		172) 'DONT LOOK AT ME! Dont you dare look at me' - ring of invisibilty

173) 'Is that the best you can do?' wand of dispell - greater

174) 'The name's Hank, F***face' - magic jar

175) 'theres no place like home' - boots of teleport

176) 'Get them out! Get them out! Worms in my Brain!' - cloak of charisma
Ilmryn

08-27-06, 07:05 PM		the best command to activate dangerous effects is "hmm" catches people off guard all the time
for a sword "THUNDER! THUNDER! THUNDER CATS! HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
MingThing

08-27-06, 07:57 PM		"i wanna cast magic missile!" (magic missile)
"i wanna attack the darkness!" (magic missile, light)
"that's no ordinarry rabbit!" (summon monster 1)
"thouh shalt count to five" (fireball)
LordPendragon

08-27-06, 08:14 PM		181. "Run away!!" - Wand of Expeditious Reatreat
182. "Chicken" - Wand of Summon Monster (Dire Chickens only)