Post/Author/DateTime	Post
tiluvias99 05-09-06, 06:06 PM	Does anyone know the stats for a weapon made of Bacon?
Utric Aelnoth 05-09-06, 06:12 PM	(i agree that Katanas are glorified bastard swords without any real flair apart from "they're foreign")... On that topic, wouldn't a flail made of frankfurters be amusing as well?
pres_man 05-09-06, 06:22 PM	On that topic, wouldn't a flail made of frankfurters be amusing as well? Nunchuks? Wouldn't a weapon that was based on swine likely have the Unholy enhancement automatically?
Tony Vargas 05-09-06, 06:26 PM	Weapons made of pork products would presumably inflict non-lethal bludgeoning damage. The Sap would likely serve as a good weapon equivelancy in most cases, possibly sized up for larger version - or simply use the improvised weapon rules. Obviously, there'd be some interesting questions with regards to enchantment and other rule interactions - such as whether any such thing could ever be considered masterwork, the effects of elemental damage on them (would a cooked weapon still have the same stats? what about a frozen one?), whether carnivores should be able to make Improved Sunder attempts against them (like steel predators vs conventional weapons) and so forth...
aotrscommander 05-09-06, 07:09 PM	We should try to keep this thread to mechanics only, as we need to deal with the crunchy aspect of bacon-related weapons. Nobody likes fluffy bacon.
Malancthon 05-09-06, 07:17 PM	I need gopher-chucks!
Killer_DM 05-09-06, 07:18 PM	Personally i think a spiked chain made of frozen sausage links would rock!
Kresalak 05-09-06, 07:21 PM	Personally i think a spiked chain made of frozen sausage links would rock! With bacon bits as the spikes?
Vaalingrade Ashland 05-09-06, 07:43 PM	If this will keep you guys from spamming up other threads, I'm all for it. In fact, I'l contribute this: A pan full of hot grease to the face (which has happened more times in my games than I care to admit) deals 1d4 fire damage and the target much save (DC 15) or be dazed on round due to the agonizing pain of being covered in hot, radily congealing grease. Truly, it is the fire that burns but does not consume.
lint trap 05-09-06, 07:53 PM	Bacon deals .125 points of lethal damage per hit (nonlethal if cold). If eaten, bacon automatically criticals. Canadian bacon is an exotic weapon; I don't know what it has for stats.
Tony Vargas 05-09-06, 08:01 PM	Canadian bacon is an exotic weapon; I don't know what it has for stats. Canadian bacon is just ham for gnomes & halflings.
Bulletproof_Condom 05-09-06, 08:25 PM	Well I've been thinking about doing a d20 Kingdom of Loathing (http://www.kingdomofloathing.com/) game for a while now. Basic Meat Sword one-handed martial weapon 1d8 meat, 19-20/x2 Kentucky-Fried Meat Sword one-handed martial weapon 1d8 meat +1d6 spicy, 19-20/x2 'Course if you're adding a D&D level of detail to KoL, you could smith a basic meat sword with some bacon grease to make a bacon sword. Probably be more likely to fumble though.
jaelis 05-09-06, 09:08 PM	If this will keep you guys from spamming up other threads, I'm all for it. We keep telling you Vaal, it's not spam, it's bacon.
Tony Vargas 05-09-06, 09:25 PM	For for discussion of Spam(tm) weapons, go to the d20 modern forum.... for that matter, bacon is really pushing it, salt pork at least dates back a bit further. Now a haunch of venison, there's an authentic medieval meatweapon....
Nitrokitty 05-09-06, 09:43 PM	Would a Rat Flail be a Simple, Martial, or Exotic weapon?
dengarbountyhunter 05-09-06, 09:52 PM	hey, what do you guys have against CANADIAN bacon?? ...In fact, as a vegetarian, I'm more concerned about the "canadian" part than the "bacon" part... But nevertheless, according to improvised rules of Complete Warrior, a single slice of bacon has no weight worth nothing, so it doesn't deal any damage... Different applications can be created; subtly put bacon in the pockets of your enemy when there's this big swallow whole monster around :D PC rogue: The BBEG did not notice me yet, has he? DM: nope PC rogue: I make a Sleigth of Hand check to put bacon in his back pocket without him noticing *rolls 42 (is high level)* DM: mmmmkay, you succeed :confused: PC rogue: I draw the attention of the Tarrasque so that it comes near and flee as fast as I can! DM: err... the Tarrasque approaches and sniffs the air. It detects the odor of bacon just as the BBEG notices that the smell comes from him. He runs for his life but still gets eaten up... PC rogue: I guess that was the easiest BBEG encounter ever! DM: Note to self: "never let him buy something stupid without asking why"... And Malancthon, "I need gopher-chucks!" has struck you after you watched Kung-Pow, I guess?
Kresalak 05-09-06, 10:09 PM	Would a Rat Flail be a Simple, Martial, or Exotic weapon? The Rat Flail is a specific weapon, a heavy flail made out of a rat. It inflicts the plague on it's wielder, and on anyone it hits. Or gets within 10 feet of. Since a heavy flail is a martial weapon, the Rat Flail is one as well. You can also make a Mouse Flail, which uses the base statistics of a regular Flail.
jaelis 05-09-06, 10:55 PM	What about a gnome flail then?
Surreal 05-09-06, 11:01 PM	I am suddenly very concerned about someone trying to put their hands on my bacon :mymy: I mean, unless :pint: were involved, but I was young and confused back then. I mean, um... nevermind.
Grave_Accomplice 05-09-06, 11:02 PM	A Large flail that engulfs a target with in the gnomes nose on a critical hit??
Kresalak 05-09-06, 11:05 PM	No, a flail made by tying a gnome to a stick. It's obviously a two-handed weapon, since gnomes are rather large compared to standard flail heads. Probably exotic, even.
Grave_Accomplice 05-09-06, 11:08 PM	That's what I meant, with the icky twist (damned linguistiaclly challenged brain...). Is a chicken based weapon a light pick axe, or dart? Maybe an arrow? ;)
Johannixx 05-10-06, 02:36 AM	What about combination weapons? Perhaps a nice BMT, Bacon Mutton & Tomato, where the mutton is nice and lean...
Tony Vargas 05-10-06, 01:25 PM	Is a chicken based weapon a light pick axe? Depends, are you using light meat, or dark?
Tristan 05-10-06, 01:28 PM	Does anyone know the stats for a weapon made of Bacon? your mom
aotrscommander 05-10-06, 01:38 PM	your mom No, she doesn't game! Maybe you should have specified whose mother you were referring to...?
jaelis 05-10-06, 02:04 PM	Could you make bacon from a dire boar? Would it be dire bacon? Could you make a dire bacon cheeseburger out of it? Would you like ketchup with that?
Kothardarastrix 05-10-06, 02:08 PM	Actually get a Dire Boar a Dire Dairy Cow, and a Dire Steer Cow, then we can make Dire Bacon Dire Cheese Dire Burgers, which on the mature boards by the 'Is a sandwhich Evil' are Lawful Evil and destroying a Lawful Evil creature is not against the paladins code.
Kresalak 05-10-06, 02:13 PM	No, she doesn't game! Maybe you should have specified whose mother you were referring to...? Obviously, he meant tiluvias99's mom, who may have been the one to first pioneer bacon weaponry.
dengarbountyhunter 05-10-06, 04:24 PM	about chickens as weapons, there a cool way to make hilts with chicken! let me explain: 1) kill the chicken (you could get weird results if you don't) 2) use alchemy to give the chicken a superpowered rigor mortis so it's rock stiff 3) nail a sword blade to its beak or simply use it as a club you get either a sword with a chicken for hilt (hold by the legs, the wings become crossguards and the talons are now a pommel) or a club! chicken sword Exotic, one-handed weapon 1d8 slashing, crit 20/x2, no range inc. Grants a +10 bonus on all Look Ridicoulous checks Price: 325 gp Weigth: 3 lbs chicken club Exotic, one-handed weapon 1d6 bludgeoning, crit 20/x2, no range inc. Grants a +10 bonus on all Look Ridicoulous checks Price: 310 gp Weigth: 2 lbs
supernerd8916 05-10-06, 04:37 PM	frozen chickens!
Tristan 05-11-06, 04:07 PM	Obviously, he meant tiluvias99's mom, who may have been the one to first pioneer bacon weaponry. yea, this guy got it