Chainmail WHAT? [Archive] - Wizards Community

Chainmail WHAT? [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Waterhammer
11-05-05, 04:48 PM You see this in fantasy art from time to time,so I thought I'd throw it out for your ridiculing pleasure.

chainmail bikini---cost:20gp---armor bonus:+1---max dex:+8
armor check penalty:0---spell failure:10%---speed:30'(M),20(S)
weight:15lbs.

Chainmail includes platearmor bracers and studded leather knee-boots. Also at least a leather helm.
Elgonn
11-05-05, 04:51 PM No chainmail speedo?
Waterhammer
11-05-05, 04:58 PM Of course a male version is possible (a very small chainmail vest for upper protection)
syrinth
11-05-05, 05:10 PM Those are so getting imported to my world for the pure hilarity of it.
RavenDrake
11-06-05, 02:02 AM Each one comes with a small tub of "Rust-B-Gone" to treat them with after swimming, and stick to bite down on when you take them off, as the chainmail links will likely carry off large ammounts of hair from very sensitive places. :eek:
Tyler Do'Urden
11-06-05, 02:25 AM Oh, young one, you know not of shaving. But you will learn. In time.

I'm sure prestidigitation can cut/pluck hair.
bondious
11-06-05, 04:12 AM +5 Heavy Fortification Chainmail Bikini plus a good Dex bonus and possibly a ring of protection...so THAT'S how those fantasy chicks can stay alive against those hordes of monsters!

And, to keep themselves looking good, a "once-a-week" trip to the local wizard for a judicious use of Prestidigitation spells...with one VERY HAPPY mage, don't ye doubt! Possibly a Tiara of Prestidigitation?

Makes PERFECT SENSE to ME! :D
Cole-Terenzin
11-06-05, 07:52 PM ok for the guys and gals,

chain mail G-string......
Oliver D'Argent
11-06-05, 09:38 PM Be sure to wear that over a cloth liner or that will pinch (and pinch places you don't want pinched). ;)
Waterhammer
11-06-05, 09:39 PM What? And leave my cheeks exposed to slashing. Nay, I say NAY.
MistWolf
11-06-05, 10:46 PM I met a set of twin leggy, buxom blondes wearing real chainmail bikinis at the Renaissance Fair. No, they didn't have cloth linings. They were very popular and I had a silly grin & tight cod piece. Armor Class? Yes, that armor had class!
Oliver D'Argent
11-06-05, 11:10 PM I met a set of twin leggy, buxom blondes wearing real chainmail bikinis at the Renaissance Fair. No, they didn't have cloth linings. They were very popular and I had a silly grin & tight cod piece. Armor Class? Yes, that armor had class!

No doubt. :D Though I imagine they ended up with an unusual tan line. ;)
ShinAkuma2
11-06-05, 11:23 PM Although I would think we could assume by the stats given, I must ask:

Is this light, medium, or heavy armor? I must know for certain! :chicken:
Seeker of Undeath
11-06-05, 11:37 PM Although I would think we could assume by the stats given, I must ask:

Is this light, medium, or heavy armor? I must know for certain! :chicken:Depends on the wearer. ;)
MistWolf
11-06-05, 11:46 PM Although I would think we could assume by the stats given, I must ask:

Is this light, medium, or heavy armor? I must know for certain! :chicken:

Depends on the the category. I suggest the following:

A or B Cup- Light
C Cup- Medium
D Cup- Heavenly

Of course, you can improve the bonuses with the Cleavage and Great Cleavage feats. The effects of both, of course- stack
bondious
11-07-05, 02:27 AM Depends on the the category. I suggest the following:

A or B Cup- Light
C Cup- Medium
D Cup- Heavenly

Of course, you can improve the bonuses with the Cleavage and Great Cleavage feats. The effects of both, of course- stack

:OMG! :rofl: :thumbsup:
Mysticaloctopus
11-07-05, 10:50 AM I'm sueing! You just made me fall off my chair, guys!

What about weapon focus (Gazed at) for lessening enemy accuracy...?
Mystic Mouse
11-07-05, 12:05 PM What? And leave my cheeks exposed to slashing. Nay, I say NAY.

Yes, leave that to the Gnomish Rosybottom family!
LaoKhanWei
11-07-05, 04:30 PM How offensive!
bondious
11-08-05, 01:57 AM How offensive!

This is offensive? I though it was :heehee

:bounce:

:ayyyy!: all-RIIGGGHHHTTTT!!! :ayyyy!:

What about weapon focus (Gazed at) for lessening enemy accuracy...?

:thumbsup: I like this! Maybe an inherent "Distraction Bonus" to AC vs. members of the opposite sex? It can go with the chart that MistWolf made up! ;)

Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, no gamers were harmed in the making of this disclaimer, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Ni! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, EGAD, BRAIN! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, DOH! Blah, Blah, Blah, The same thing we do EVERY NIGHT, Pinky, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Ni! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, who? Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, DOH! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, what? Blah, oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, all work and no play makes bondious a dull paladin, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Ni! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, when will it stop? Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Freaka-ziee, Chimpan-ziee, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, where? Blah, DOH! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, all work and no play makes bondious a dull paladin, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Ni! Ni! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Here's Tom with the weather, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, DOH! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, no one knows! Blah, Blah, Blah, why? oh god WHY? Blah, DOH! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, all work and no play makes bondious a dull paladin, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, DOH! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, I must have WAY too much time on my hands, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Ni! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, and...BLAH!!!
:thinks: Hmmmmmmm, what was this all about? Oh yeah, that's right...the disclaimer: "Kids, DON'T DO DRUGS!!!" (or this might happen to YOU) :D
MistWolf
11-08-05, 07:45 AM How offensive!

Stop being defensive! :D

And do try to stay abreast of the new developments in this thread
Tenreo
11-08-05, 12:45 PM THE PUNS! THE PUNS! THEY BURN (cause they're hot)!
Dragonsblood
11-08-05, 01:08 PM Who needs to get laid? :w00t:
Waterhammer
11-08-05, 08:19 PM Who needs to get laid? :w00t:
Everyone.

It was ment to be light armor. Forgot to include that.

Also they charge incredibly high prices for bikinis. The cost should be 150gp.
nordyboy
11-23-05, 02:26 PM Oh, young one, you know not of shaving. But you will learn. In time.

I'm sure prestidigitation can cut/pluck hair.

I don't know about this one. Prestidigitation says that it can slowly lift one pound of non-living material. You can debate wether or not this would apply to hair, but magically pulling out all of someone's pubic hair would certainly cause damage or disrupt the concentration of a spellcaster. (If the spellcaster was the one being magically altered in the genital region.) You might be able to use the spell to just make the hair vanish, but according to the spell, it would reappear after one hour.

"Prestidigitation lacks the power to duplicate any other spell efects." Is there a spell that could be used for shaving/hair plucking?

I can't believe I'm posting this. I just lost all pride.
Elthbert
11-23-05, 03:01 PM You see this in fantasy art from time to time,so I thought I'd throw it out for your ridiculing pleasure.

chainmail bikini---cost:20gp---armor bonus:+1---max dex:+8
armor check penalty:0---spell failure:10%---speed:30'(M),20(S)
weight:15lbs.

Chainmail includes platearmor bracers and studded leather knee-boots. Also at least a leather helm.

I like it.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Waterhammer 11-05-05, 04:48 PM	You see this in fantasy art from time to time,so I thought I'd throw it out for your ridiculing pleasure. chainmail bikini---cost:20gp---armor bonus:+1---max dex:+8 armor check penalty:0---spell failure:10%---speed:30'(M),20(S) weight:15lbs. Chainmail includes platearmor bracers and studded leather knee-boots. Also at least a leather helm.
Elgonn 11-05-05, 04:51 PM	No chainmail speedo?
Waterhammer 11-05-05, 04:58 PM	Of course a male version is possible (a very small chainmail vest for upper protection)
syrinth 11-05-05, 05:10 PM	Those are so getting imported to my world for the pure hilarity of it.
RavenDrake 11-06-05, 02:02 AM	Each one comes with a small tub of "Rust-B-Gone" to treat them with after swimming, and stick to bite down on when you take them off, as the chainmail links will likely carry off large ammounts of hair from very sensitive places. :eek:
Tyler Do'Urden 11-06-05, 02:25 AM	Oh, young one, you know not of shaving. But you will learn. In time. I'm sure prestidigitation can cut/pluck hair.
bondious 11-06-05, 04:12 AM	+5 Heavy Fortification Chainmail Bikini plus a good Dex bonus and possibly a ring of protection...so THAT'S how those fantasy chicks can stay alive against those hordes of monsters! And, to keep themselves looking good, a "once-a-week" trip to the local wizard for a judicious use of Prestidigitation spells...with one VERY HAPPY mage, don't ye doubt! Possibly a Tiara of Prestidigitation? Makes PERFECT SENSE to ME! :D
Cole-Terenzin 11-06-05, 07:52 PM	ok for the guys and gals, chain mail G-string......
Oliver D'Argent 11-06-05, 09:38 PM	Be sure to wear that over a cloth liner or that will pinch (and pinch places you don't want pinched). ;)
Waterhammer 11-06-05, 09:39 PM	What? And leave my cheeks exposed to slashing. Nay, I say NAY.
MistWolf 11-06-05, 10:46 PM	I met a set of twin leggy, buxom blondes wearing real chainmail bikinis at the Renaissance Fair. No, they didn't have cloth linings. They were very popular and I had a silly grin & tight cod piece. Armor Class? Yes, that armor had class!
Oliver D'Argent 11-06-05, 11:10 PM	I met a set of twin leggy, buxom blondes wearing real chainmail bikinis at the Renaissance Fair. No, they didn't have cloth linings. They were very popular and I had a silly grin & tight cod piece. Armor Class? Yes, that armor had class! No doubt. :D Though I imagine they ended up with an unusual tan line. ;)
ShinAkuma2 11-06-05, 11:23 PM	Although I would think we could assume by the stats given, I must ask: Is this light, medium, or heavy armor? I must know for certain! :chicken:
Seeker of Undeath 11-06-05, 11:37 PM	Although I would think we could assume by the stats given, I must ask: Is this light, medium, or heavy armor? I must know for certain! :chicken:Depends on the wearer. ;)
MistWolf 11-06-05, 11:46 PM	Although I would think we could assume by the stats given, I must ask: Is this light, medium, or heavy armor? I must know for certain! :chicken: Depends on the the category. I suggest the following: A or B Cup- Light C Cup- Medium D Cup- Heavenly Of course, you can improve the bonuses with the Cleavage and Great Cleavage feats. The effects of both, of course- stack
bondious 11-07-05, 02:27 AM	Depends on the the category. I suggest the following: A or B Cup- Light C Cup- Medium D Cup- Heavenly Of course, you can improve the bonuses with the Cleavage and Great Cleavage feats. The effects of both, of course- stack :OMG! :rofl: :thumbsup:
Mysticaloctopus 11-07-05, 10:50 AM	I'm sueing! You just made me fall off my chair, guys! What about weapon focus (Gazed at) for lessening enemy accuracy...?
Mystic Mouse 11-07-05, 12:05 PM	What? And leave my cheeks exposed to slashing. Nay, I say NAY. Yes, leave that to the Gnomish Rosybottom family!
LaoKhanWei 11-07-05, 04:30 PM	How offensive!
bondious 11-08-05, 01:57 AM	How offensive! This is offensive? I though it was :heehee :bounce: :ayyyy!: all-RIIGGGHHHTTTT!!! :ayyyy!: What about weapon focus (Gazed at) for lessening enemy accuracy...? :thumbsup: I like this! Maybe an inherent "Distraction Bonus" to AC vs. members of the opposite sex? It can go with the chart that MistWolf made up! ;) Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, no gamers were harmed in the making of this disclaimer, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Ni! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, EGAD, BRAIN! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, DOH! Blah, Blah, Blah, The same thing we do EVERY NIGHT, Pinky, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Ni! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, who? Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, DOH! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, what? Blah, oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, all work and no play makes bondious a dull paladin, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Ni! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, when will it stop? Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Freaka-ziee, Chimpan-ziee, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, where? Blah, DOH! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, all work and no play makes bondious a dull paladin, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Ni! Ni! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Here's Tom with the weather, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, DOH! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, no one knows! Blah, Blah, Blah, why? oh god WHY? Blah, DOH! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, all work and no play makes bondious a dull paladin, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, DOH! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, I must have WAY too much time on my hands, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Ni! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, and...BLAH!!! :thinks: Hmmmmmmm, what was this all about? Oh yeah, that's right...the disclaimer: "Kids, DON'T DO DRUGS!!!" (or this might happen to YOU) :D
MistWolf 11-08-05, 07:45 AM	How offensive! Stop being defensive! :D And do try to stay abreast of the new developments in this thread
Tenreo 11-08-05, 12:45 PM	THE PUNS! THE PUNS! THEY BURN (cause they're hot)!
Dragonsblood 11-08-05, 01:08 PM	Who needs to get laid? :w00t:
Waterhammer 11-08-05, 08:19 PM	Who needs to get laid? :w00t: Everyone. It was ment to be light armor. Forgot to include that. Also they charge incredibly high prices for bikinis. The cost should be 150gp.
nordyboy 11-23-05, 02:26 PM	Oh, young one, you know not of shaving. But you will learn. In time. I'm sure prestidigitation can cut/pluck hair. I don't know about this one. Prestidigitation says that it can slowly lift one pound of non-living material. You can debate wether or not this would apply to hair, but magically pulling out all of someone's pubic hair would certainly cause damage or disrupt the concentration of a spellcaster. (If the spellcaster was the one being magically altered in the genital region.) You might be able to use the spell to just make the hair vanish, but according to the spell, it would reappear after one hour. "Prestidigitation lacks the power to duplicate any other spell efects." Is there a spell that could be used for shaving/hair plucking? I can't believe I'm posting this. I just lost all pride.
Elthbert 11-23-05, 03:01 PM	You see this in fantasy art from time to time,so I thought I'd throw it out for your ridiculing pleasure. chainmail bikini---cost:20gp---armor bonus:+1---max dex:+8 armor check penalty:0---spell failure:10%---speed:30'(M),20(S) weight:15lbs. Chainmail includes platearmor bracers and studded leather knee-boots. Also at least a leather helm. I like it.