Marriage in Faerun [Archive] - Wizards Community

Marriage in Faerun [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
phirefly
12-18-04, 05:26 AM One of my characters in an FR game I play is getting married. The one I thought least likely to do so at that. I thought it would be pretty simple, but then her fiance starts asking questions, starting with, "What defines the concept of marriage in Aber-Toril?" This, of course, was followed by many other questions, from both of us. So, I figured I'd ask the experts.

So, what defines the concept of marriage here? Is it simply declaring commitment before your lover and your god(s)? Is a proctor necessary in a FR wedding? Are priests or priestess necessary? What if the bride and groom are devoted to different deities?

I'm sure other concerns will pop up, but that's the start. The real question being the first one: how is marriage defined by the world in general.
GothicDan
12-18-04, 11:03 AM Basically, in Faerun: Marriage is whatever you want it to be. The laws/definition change from land to land, religion to religion.

In a small village, being "married" might just be holding hands one spring day and declaring your love for one another while the village elder gives his grace.

If you are a member of the Church of Tyr, marriage might be more similar to the modern, Christian definition of the term.

Marriage among Talona might be promising always to share new diseases with each other (okay.. that turned out wrong).

Basically, it's all a matter of religion and region. I believe that Kuje has something in his FAQ about this topic, too.
Kuje31
12-18-04, 12:12 PM Basically, it's all a matter of religion and region. I believe that Kuje has something in his FAQ about this topic, too.

:)

"Alexandra Never-Late-For-Viands, you're right. Bisexuality is common (and only frowned upon where local history or the dominance of particular clerics make it so; some faiths in the Realms have a tight universal dogma, whilst others have an "individual major temples do their own thing" character, and individual clergy may decree all sorts of things/follow all manner of whims in order to meddle in local politics [for example: the priest Thorogh wants to stop a local lord marrying his cousin because he has his own candidate for lord's wife in mind, so he invents a "holy decree" to prohibit cousin-marriage, and even cousins residing too close to each other/having much contact with each other; some deities don't care if their priests do such things, so long as the end result is to increase the influence of the church). Sexual relations in general have been a taboo subject (another example: in an early DRAGON article dealing with matters Arthurian, the explanation for the breakup of the fellowship of the Round Table was made very difficult after the editorial decision that Lancelot and Guinevere couldn't be described as "lovers"), and I see the Elversult FRCS entry as being a "let's be politically correct and give the Realms something for everyone, but VERY quietly, so the bigots won't notice" approach.

As for marriages: again, it depends on the faith and (see above) the individual church. Formal marriages (i.e. with written contracts and witnesses, as opposed to a simple private ceremony followed by a party if the couple want it/can afford it) are rare among those who don't have significant wealth or land to pass on.

Some faiths assume a marriage is forever (most of these have been amended to "until death," to prevent undead terrorizing the living by insisting on returning to the house and climbing into bed with them), but most ARE, as you speculate, based on "for as long as love lasts." In some places and faiths, this leads to a swinging lifestyle, but in most places, the public disapproves of those who abandon spouses without good moral reason (the only difference I see between most of the Heartlands of the Realms and the prevalent real-world modern Western society view is that in the Realms, short-term or seldom-consummated affairs aren't seen as sufficient "moral reason" to end a marriage). Spouse beating, however, IS. One is expected to remain with a spouse, and tend them in illness or dying. (And yes, there are a fair number of caravan merchants who have wives in various cities, usually without one knowing about the others, though a few even write back and forth, or journey with the merchant from time to time, to visit each other.)

Formal marriages always have SIMPLE clauses outlining what happens to lands and goods when a union ends, and many weddings involving nobility insist on both parties formally and in writing (with priests using magic to make sure the participants aren't being magically compelled to act in a certain way, blackmailed, or coerced by drugs or other means) ending the marriage, not just one--so spouses who hate each other can keep each other bound in marriage (unless one manages to have the other killed, a risky proceeding because in Cormyr, Sembia, Waterdeep, Silverymoon, and most other "civilized" places, the slayer of a spouse forfeits all property to the government).

Again, there are faiths (those closely tied to nature in particular) who conduct and recognize both "forever" and "short-term" marriages (usually "two summers," "three summers" or "ten summers"), which may of course be renewed. The clergy of Siamorphe from time to time conduct "overnight" marriages, allowing one-night stands to be legal and divinely approved, but always publicly renounce this practice when angry kin complain to governing authorities . . . only to quietly resume it again, elsewhen.

And now it's time to plunge right back into my "formal" Realms work, so there'll be other Realms products in future for you folks to pick apart. :}

As Torm says, "Fare thee well for now, and keep SOMETHING high until we meet again!"
Ed"

Kuje's Note: The Torm quote is not the god Torm but the Knight of Myth Drannor, Torm. :)
Faraer
12-20-04, 11:08 AM See Spellfire for a marriage ceremony.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
phirefly 12-18-04, 05:26 AM	One of my characters in an FR game I play is getting married. The one I thought least likely to do so at that. I thought it would be pretty simple, but then her fiance starts asking questions, starting with, "What defines the concept of marriage in Aber-Toril?" This, of course, was followed by many other questions, from both of us. So, I figured I'd ask the experts. So, what defines the concept of marriage here? Is it simply declaring commitment before your lover and your god(s)? Is a proctor necessary in a FR wedding? Are priests or priestess necessary? What if the bride and groom are devoted to different deities? I'm sure other concerns will pop up, but that's the start. The real question being the first one: how is marriage defined by the world in general.
GothicDan 12-18-04, 11:03 AM	Basically, in Faerun: Marriage is whatever you want it to be. The laws/definition change from land to land, religion to religion. In a small village, being "married" might just be holding hands one spring day and declaring your love for one another while the village elder gives his grace. If you are a member of the Church of Tyr, marriage might be more similar to the modern, Christian definition of the term. Marriage among Talona might be promising always to share new diseases with each other (okay.. that turned out wrong). Basically, it's all a matter of religion and region. I believe that Kuje has something in his FAQ about this topic, too.
Kuje31 12-18-04, 12:12 PM	Basically, it's all a matter of religion and region. I believe that Kuje has something in his FAQ about this topic, too. :) "Alexandra Never-Late-For-Viands, you're right. Bisexuality is common (and only frowned upon where local history or the dominance of particular clerics make it so; some faiths in the Realms have a tight universal dogma, whilst others have an "individual major temples do their own thing" character, and individual clergy may decree all sorts of things/follow all manner of whims in order to meddle in local politics [for example: the priest Thorogh wants to stop a local lord marrying his cousin because he has his own candidate for lord's wife in mind, so he invents a "holy decree" to prohibit cousin-marriage, and even cousins residing too close to each other/having much contact with each other; some deities don't care if their priests do such things, so long as the end result is to increase the influence of the church). Sexual relations in general have been a taboo subject (another example: in an early DRAGON article dealing with matters Arthurian, the explanation for the breakup of the fellowship of the Round Table was made very difficult after the editorial decision that Lancelot and Guinevere couldn't be described as "lovers"), and I see the Elversult FRCS entry as being a "let's be politically correct and give the Realms something for everyone, but VERY quietly, so the bigots won't notice" approach. As for marriages: again, it depends on the faith and (see above) the individual church. Formal marriages (i.e. with written contracts and witnesses, as opposed to a simple private ceremony followed by a party if the couple want it/can afford it) are rare among those who don't have significant wealth or land to pass on. Some faiths assume a marriage is forever (most of these have been amended to "until death," to prevent undead terrorizing the living by insisting on returning to the house and climbing into bed with them), but most ARE, as you speculate, based on "for as long as love lasts." In some places and faiths, this leads to a swinging lifestyle, but in most places, the public disapproves of those who abandon spouses without good moral reason (the only difference I see between most of the Heartlands of the Realms and the prevalent real-world modern Western society view is that in the Realms, short-term or seldom-consummated affairs aren't seen as sufficient "moral reason" to end a marriage). Spouse beating, however, IS. One is expected to remain with a spouse, and tend them in illness or dying. (And yes, there are a fair number of caravan merchants who have wives in various cities, usually without one knowing about the others, though a few even write back and forth, or journey with the merchant from time to time, to visit each other.) Formal marriages always have SIMPLE clauses outlining what happens to lands and goods when a union ends, and many weddings involving nobility insist on both parties formally and in writing (with priests using magic to make sure the participants aren't being magically compelled to act in a certain way, blackmailed, or coerced by drugs or other means) ending the marriage, not just one--so spouses who hate each other can keep each other bound in marriage (unless one manages to have the other killed, a risky proceeding because in Cormyr, Sembia, Waterdeep, Silverymoon, and most other "civilized" places, the slayer of a spouse forfeits all property to the government). Again, there are faiths (those closely tied to nature in particular) who conduct and recognize both "forever" and "short-term" marriages (usually "two summers," "three summers" or "ten summers"), which may of course be renewed. The clergy of Siamorphe from time to time conduct "overnight" marriages, allowing one-night stands to be legal and divinely approved, but always publicly renounce this practice when angry kin complain to governing authorities . . . only to quietly resume it again, elsewhen. And now it's time to plunge right back into my "formal" Realms work, so there'll be other Realms products in future for you folks to pick apart. :} As Torm says, "Fare thee well for now, and keep SOMETHING high until we meet again!" Ed" Kuje's Note: The Torm quote is not the god Torm but the Knight of Myth Drannor, Torm. :)
Faraer 12-20-04, 11:08 AM	See Spellfire for a marriage ceremony.