Post/Author/DateTime	Post
LockeTM 03-16-07, 10:23 AM	I'm making an NPC (my first one ever), and I've written him a background story. I'd like to hear peoples opinion about it, and any suggestions for improvement. Thanks :) Oh, and hi to all for the first time ever:) XXX 1375 A friend of mine once told me that keeping an account of history was important, for that was the only way those after us could learn and aspire further than we have. I disagreed then, and I disagree now. While some do learn from their legacy, most do not. The common people are as blind to the past as they are to the future. And thus those few chosen who try to bring more light to this world are forced to watch as the same people they are trying to help put that feeble flame of knowledge out - by prejudice, fear, and ignorance. However, my friend, who was one of the truly wise (and cunning) people I knew, is dead. Most do not know it, and I am sure he'd prefer to keep it that way, so that his work could be continued with ease. He was able to study and understand the past as well as share his wisdom with the common folk to better their lives. As often is the case, he was seldom thanked for this. I wish to thank him for my part, and that is why I am writing this. I do not believe many will ever read or comprehend what I am writing, nor do I care. I know what I know, and I know my own goals and their importance. I do not need anyone's admirance or acceptance to my story. I am simply honoring a wish of a friend. So, here it begins. I was born some years ago in Myth Drannor. It was a beautiful place, as few still walking in this world remember, full of light and magic and awe. We had this feeble hope of unity. A hope that we all could learn and advance as a whole, despite of our race or belief. I had a hard time trusting this hope, even as a youth, and what happened to my city proves my point, I think. My family was rather wealthy I suppose. I had two brothers, both strong and intelligent in their own arrogant way. They believed that we should have been respected more than we were, for the sake of the sun elven blood in us. I did not agree with this, or more accurately, I did not care enough to agree or disagree. Although I didn't believe that we could have such a thing as unquestioning unity, I did not want to hamper that hope myself. If we were to submit ourselves to squabbles of politics and bloodlines, how could we ever respect eachother as equals? My mother was a beautiful woman, and wise, at least in my eyes. Many considered her wisdom foolishness, for she had no sense of when to be silent, or when to speak. She thought that everyone and everything was equally precious and had a reason to be in this world. Whilst many said that they believed this, they said it with "exceptions". "All things are precious, except those that we do not agree with, or that we fear.". My mother did not hold to these exceptions, and it was her teachings that made me yearn to learn of magic. ALL things magic, elven or human, arcane or high magic, for if one of them had a reason to be, wouldn't the others also? Wouldn't the differences between them simply be points of view? These ideas made my life more difficult than it would've otherwise been, but I do not regret the choices. As said, the one thing that had called upon me was magic. When I was accepted to the school of magic, I thought it to be the happiest day of my life. I was not the greatest of students, I admit that. I did not possess the ease with which some held to learn magic. When someone might inherently understand a spell and its capabilities with a glance, I'd have to study a fortnight, forcing the understanding upon me. This did not discourage me, but made me even more keen to learn. I knew already then that all my years, however long they might be, would not be enough for me to learn all I yearned for. So I studied. When others enjoyed the wonders of the city in their free hours, I would read. I would drag all the books I could to my quarters, and cross reference them, and question the teachers further. This soon made me unpopular with my peers, who thought me a teachers pet at best, and cold and arrogant at worst. Nor did most of the elders hold good feelings towards me either, as I asked too many things. I couldn't just accept the "facts" that were given, when I had read or heard of something more. I wasn't trying to be insulting when I inquired if they truly believed all they taught. I wanted to know whether they simply didn't know of other options, or if they had rejected them when they were found wanting. I now know that it was neither; they knew, and they ignored, because they were afraid of anything that might change what they thought to be solid. It was inevitable, I suppose, that I turned my interests towards old arcane cultures and their magick. Imaskar, Netheril - they had not been afraid to explore the boundaries of magic. And they hadn't had the excuse of longevity to stagnate. The human life span forced them to leap into new goals as fast as they could, or else they would not have the chance. This was, again, considered impatient and condemnable by many, but I saw in it progress. To aspire towards greater things, unafraid. Soon after this I was asked to leave the school. I shall not bore you with the details, suffice to say that I had asked too many questions, and my need to learn had led me to borrow some things I wasn't supposed to. I was not going to let some small thing as being kicked out make me give up. So, after being rejected, I went about with my studies in my own way. My main interest in school had been on enchantments and illusions, and this made it all the easier for me to get my hands on material otherwise forbidden - which had gotten me into trouble in the first place. As I did not really have anything to lose, I visited the school infrequently to check on books and study items. One time, I had borrowed a book from no other place but Windsong Tower itself, from one of the teachers who I knew to be away from the city for a while, only to hear that he was coming back the next day, due to an illness in the family. I had to obviously return the book the same night, or someone would notice my visits. I did not have time to plan my entrance as well as usual, and somewhere I made a mistake. My wards failed, and I was confronted with rather angry members of the tower when I was putting the tome back, so I ran. To this day I am not sure how exactly I ended up running up a staircase to the top of Windsong Tower, not that it would matter as the tower now lies in ruins. I turned a corner and tried to catch my breath while thinking of how to get out. My spell selection wouldn't work now that they knew of me. That is when I saw an odd glimmering on the ceiling of the hallway. It was as if stars had fallen through the tower and placed themselves in new constellations above me. I saw them head towards the end of the hall and turn into the shadowy corridor there. I decided to follow this shiny path as it was the first good omen I had gotten ever since entering the tower. I turned into the shadows, but instead of more hallways and rooms, I walked into bright sunlight. I was in a stone floored room, with nothing there except a tree unlike anything I had ever seen. It glimmered in gold and silver, and strange patterns crawled in its sheeny bark. The leaves were like sheets of metal, and chimed as unseen wind moved them. I could swear I saw the face of an old treant look at me between the leaves, but as I blinked, it was gone. I walked towards the tree, and saw strange patterns in the leaves and brances, that almost made sense to me. The longer I looked, the more I understood. The patterns were actually letters, words, and they spoke to me of magic long lost, and new wonders that could be created if I heeded their advice. I do not know how long I stood there, for my mind was far from this world, walking in paths made out of golden branches and the chiming of leaves. When I awoke from my dreams of knowledge, I was in awe. The world seemed to hold more wonders than before, or maybe I just better understood the ones that were always there. I turned away from the tree, only to face the same corridor where I had left. There were no stars in the ceiling anymore, and the sunlight from the room was gone also. I did not realize what I had seen until years later, but it was the turning point of my life regardless. I wandered down the stairway half dazed, and spooked a fair few of mages who did not expect to see me there. In short order I was captured by them. It had been, so I was told, a tenday since my unlucky expedition to the tower, but the elders were no less angry with me. When I told where I had been, they became solemn and left me alone in confinement for hours. When they came back, they wouldn't explain what in my finding had made them so upset, nor would they tell me what it truly had been. They said that I had violated the sacred wards, and for my crime, I would be exiled from Myth Drannor. I was given a day to sort out my business in the city, and free passage out. I would be allowed to stay in Cormanthor, if I pleased, maybe in one of the smaller settlements, but should I ever leave the elven lands, I would not be permitted to return. I was not as devastated with this news as I guess I ought've been. I knew that I had learned all I would be able to in Myth Drannor, unless some turn of fate would give me a new chance to see the tree. My family was outraged, not so much for my sake, but for the shame I had brought to them. I have no doubt my father and brothers were the happier the less they heard of me in years to come. My mother said little. I suppose she had seen this coming years before, when my "curiosity took over my common sense", as my elder brother put it. I left the city with little but the clothes on my back and my spell books. I had found a direction for my studies - to find out what it was I had seen in the tower, and aspire further on the arcane magics it had shown me. For many years I traveled around Cormanthor, but learned little that was new. So I turned my eyes towards old human empires, the rumors of Imaskar and Netheril pulled at my imagination. I left Cormanthor and wandered south, then north, and saw many things that I shall not bother you with, as there are better descriptions by more devoted writers already available. On those travels I learned the true nature of the Grove, for that was what I had seen, and learned of the Nether Scrolls. The pure hypocrisy of it. The greatest secret of Windsong Tower came from Netheril. We might've been quick to judge the humans, especially the Netherese for their impatient and nonchalant use of magic, but our high mages weren't too abhorred by them not to steal and study the same magic they condemned! By all the gods, how I love the many masks bigotry wears! I still travel around. Waterdhavians still remember my tower when it stood by the water, and I have heard stories roam in Ten Towns of a tower that sprouted overnight on the cliffs. I do not stay long in one place, usually because I have gathered all the knowledge the place has to offer, but often enough because I am, again, asked to leave (more or less politely). That seems to be the story of my life. I do not consider myself evil. I trade information, yes. I will not give my aid or my items for free, and I refuse to get involved in local politics for the benefit of one side or the other, unless the price is right. But isn't that what every merchant does? The only place where I have felt like home for many long centuries, was Waterdeep, but alas, all good things must come to an end. I still miss the odd little tavern near the docks, where one could buy dwarven stout if one had the money and knew who to ask. That story I might tell one day, but this is not the day. It is morning now, and I am watching the sun barely touch the rooftops of Silverymoon. Soon enough, there will be guests, and explanations, and some bargains to be struck. Hopefully I will be allowed to stay for a bit longer this time, for this place truly is the Gem of the North. I will have to leave you now, my reader. There is much to be done before the day gets much older. "But wait!", you say, "Your story did not explain anything". Alas, that would be your problem, not mine. And perhaps, if you learn more, you will be able to understand that not all things are on the lines, but between them. Elias Farseer.
ShadezofDis 03-16-07, 11:47 AM	Nice story though it doesn't really fit timeline wise unless your NPC is from the past, rather than current year. You see, Myth Drannor fell in 714DR after a few years of war, so presumably your character was in Myth Drannor well before the fall. Since it is now 1374DR, roughly 660 years after the fall. Well. . . it still works but I'm assuming you didn't want that large a gap between then and now.
Lord Karsus 03-16-07, 05:50 PM	-Just a few things: Firstly, I recommend cleaning all that up, and making it easier to read. If so, then I'd read the entirety of it, rather than reading up to a point, and then saying, "Ugh, this is hurting my eyes". "Prejudism" is not a word. It's "prejudice". "Magick", in the Realms, and all of D&D does not have the 'K' tacked on at the end.
LockeTM 03-16-07, 06:35 PM	Nice story though it doesn't really fit timeline wise unless your NPC is from the past, rather than current year. You see, Myth Drannor fell in 714DR after a few years of war, so presumably your character was in Myth Drannor well before the fall. Since it is now 1374DR, roughly 660 years after the fall. Well. . . it still works but I'm assuming you didn't want that large a gap between then and now. He's a moon elf that was born in Myth Drannor to a moon elf mother and sun elf father. His magic has granted him extended life so that he ages slower than standard elves. He's writing a memoire due to the wishes of his dead friend Khelben. The gap is the several centuries he spent traveling. -Just a few things: Firstly, I recommend cleaning all that up, and making it easier to read. If so, then I'd read the entirety of it, rather than reading up to a point, and then saying, "Ugh, this is hurting my eyes". "Prejudism" is not a word. It's "prejudice". "Magick", in the Realms, and all of D&D does not have the 'K' tacked on at the end. Sorry:( English isn't my native tongue and "magic" has always had a "k" attached in the books I read so I didn't know. Thanks for correcting:) Is it ok now? <g> and if you think THAT was hard to read, you should see the written notes I have floating around the house... mainly with beer stains too.
Lord Karsus 03-16-07, 07:15 PM	Sorry:( English isn't my native tongue and "magic" has always had a "k" attached in the books I read so I didn't know. Thanks for correcting:) Is it ok now? <g> and if you think THAT was hard to read, you should see the written notes I have floating around the house... mainly with beer stains too. -Hey, no problem. And, since it's easier to read, I'll read the entire thing now! .... -I enjoyed reading it. You surely captured the "wanderlust" that Moon Elves fall prey to. My only criticism is that I don't think your character took his exile hard enough. Elves, who are a very communal people, would take such a "loss" a little harder. But, then again, the character might not have been writing how it truly effected his depths. Overall, very good. :)
SATA 03-17-07, 03:04 AM	I don't know if the others haven't read your NPC's background completely or if they miss this but anyway I'll be the one to correct you about The Nether Scrolls. They weren't created by Netherese wizards or arcanist or anyone related to The Netheril empire. They were created by elves and the netherese discovered them amid the ruins of Aryvandaar circa -3533 DR. Now I guess you should remake that background cuz from what I read, the part about you discovering by accident the Quess Ar Teranthvar in Windsong Tower and later learned that it was in reality some Nether Scrolls created by the Netheril empire, is a major issue for the NPC. But your information turn out to be wrong. Another thing, when you said "...the sun elven blood in us." that is the only information you give about what elven sub-race he might be but now you clarify he is a moon elf. Honestly, from MY POINT OF VIEW and please take this as a constructive argument, I can't specify the elven sub-race he might be, from my experience, he don't fit as a sun elf or any other kind of elf, perhaps as moon elf as you clarify but for me still is hard to portrait him as one. Others may disagree but my advises for you: 1.- Fix The Nether Scrolls mistake, ergo, the background will change drastically aswell. 2.- Throw more specific details about his elven sub-race.
Stigger 03-17-07, 03:48 AM	Well, Serpent Kingdoms pretty much puts the Nether Scrolls as creations of the Sarrukh... so... yeah. Other than that little point, it looks good. Though I'd wonder about such a detailed history for a NPC unless that history is a focal point of the story you have in mind. Not to put too fine a point on it, and without knowing the group you're playing with, but it could be fairly disappointing to put so much detail into a NPC the players might just gloss over and ignore. Backstory is a good thing, but there is such a thing as too much information... though it is useful indeed in case some overly inquisitive PC decides to get talkative.
Karsus the Mad 03-17-07, 09:20 AM	They weren't created by Netherese wizards or arcanist or anyone related to The Netheril empire. They were created by elves and the netherese discovered them amid the ruins of Aryvandaar circa -3533 DR. The scrolls were started by the Sarukh, and were completed after that creator race fell by a secret society called the Ba'etith, which was made up of the Sarukh, Batrachi, and aearee. The elves had nothing to do with the Scrolls. Now I guess you should remake that background cuz from what I read, the part about you discovering by accident the Quess Ar Teranthvar in Windsong Tower and later learned that it was in reality some Nether Scrolls created by the Netheril empire, is a major issue for the NPC. But your information turn out to be wrong. After reading it, I notice it says nothing of it being an accident:) Reading CEoE, the grove or Tyvollus chooses who has access. The story/background/memoire is obviously using that bit of lore, especially the description of the dimensional room, so it's likely that this Elias simply doesn't KNOW that he was allowed to find it, but instead from his PoV (which is how it seems to be written, as an in-game journal entry rather than out of game statements) he's simply explaining what happened as far as he's able to understand it. All in all the situation seems pretty kosher. Another thing, when you said "...the sun elven blood in us." that is the only information you give about what elven sub-race he might be but now you clarify he is a moon elf. Honestly, from MY POINT OF VIEW and please take this as a constructive argument, I can't specify the elven sub-race he might be, from my experience, he don't fit as a sun elf or any other kind of elf, perhaps as moon elf as you clarify but for me still is hard to portrait him as one. Others may disagree but my advises for you: That appears to be a reference to his father. Apparently his brothers feel their family deserves more respect than moon elves typically recieved because their father was a sun elf. Obviously she knows that elves breed true. Moon elf mother, sun elf father=moon elf children in this instance. In this regard I'd throw in a sun elf child who is dad's favorite, just to clarify the point of any possible internal family politics. 2.- Throw more specific details about his elven sub-race. She clarified he's a moon elf in her second post, tho' I agree, the lil' story is a bit foggy in that regard. Maybe it was a purpose source of ambiguity? All in all a nice read. Rather organic, much like when a person writes in their diary and sort of just rambles on. It makes sense in their mind, but to an outside reader who doesn't think the same way or know the same things (and thus can't make the same connections between 2 things) it leaves some confusion, which I think she did on purpose, especially given the last line of "But wait!", you say, "Your story did not explain anything". Alas, that would be your problem, not mine. And perhaps, if you learn more, you will be able to understand that not all things are on the lines, but between them. The character doesn't seem much of a moon elf, aside from the wanderlust. Then again, he's a wizard, and they're a strange bunch:P He seems more neutral than normal. Possibly a lore master or olin gisir.
LockeTM 03-17-07, 09:55 AM	Thanks of the input, it is greatly appreciated :) I know I get longwinded when writing, as I like it a tad bit too much. And this being my first NPC that actually made it to the paper, I'm picky about getting it right... Stats are still under construction, with a sledge hammer... I knew about the Nether Scrolls actually been made by the creator races, but I didn't think that would influence the matter - there is no reason NPC would know of this, and even if he did, it still would mean that the Grove wasn't infact of elven origin (altho they did find out about the scrolls ability to tell of high magic). Another thing, when you said "...the sun elven blood in us." that is the only information you give about what elven sub-race he might be but now you clarify he is a moon elf. Honestly, from MY POINT OF VIEW and please take this as a constructive argument, I can't specify the elven sub-race he might be, from my experience, he don't fit as a sun elf or any other kind of elf, perhaps as moon elf as you clarify but for me still is hard to portrait him as one the sub-race issue... yeah. I had trouble with that one, as with writing archetypal any race. I tried to write a character that has strayed away from his upbringing, (or towards it, concidering that his mother wasn't well conforming either). And, as said, wizards are strange :P -To KtM, the answer would be a lore master :P One mistake I just noticed myself tho, is the fact that you have to read the scrolls in order, even in the form of the Grove... And in the story it depicts the understanding of the second scroll... and him only spending a tenday in the grove, there is no chance he would've read both. <sighs> back to the drawing board! There really should be some kind of "Faerun for dummies" guide available.
SATA 03-17-07, 02:13 PM	I'll have to re-read some tomes and the lore available for The Nether Scrolls to check exactly who created them cuz it's seems I'm partly wrong, but at least the fact that the creators weren't Netherese of any kind is correct and that's the part that matter for your background.
Karsus the Mad 03-17-07, 02:39 PM	I'll have to re-read some tomes and the lore available for The Nether Scrolls to check exactly who created them cuz it's seems I'm partly wrong, but at least the fact that the creators weren't Netherese of any kind is correct and that's the part that matter for your background. So you don't waste your time pouring over countless tomes:) Serpent Kingdoms, page 55 As the sarrukh spread out, they discovered that the shamans of the chaotic races living in certain wilderness areas held magical lore that they had not yet encountered. After studying these primitive forms of magic, the sarrukh consolidated their discoveries into a series of tomes. Upon completion, the books where brought to Oreme, the capitol of Isstosseffi fi l, for study. The most magically gifted among the sarrukh and their servitor races pored over these tomes, which contained both easily researched magical knowledge and obscure information. The empires of the sarrukh didn’t last long enough to gather the full fruits of their work, but this collection of minds eventually grew into its own secret organization, which was called the Ba’etith. The members of this group consolidated and extrapolated the bounds of their newly found knowledge, penning the Golden Skins of the World Serpent (other wise known as the Nether Scrolls) many thousands of years after the fall of the empires And the sidebar on the same page Although fi ve creator races existed in Faerūn, only four forged empires in the earliest days of recorded history (known today as the Days of Thunder), and only three contributed to the creation of the items now known as the Nether Scrolls.
SATA 03-17-07, 05:34 PM	So you don't waste your time pouring over countless tomes:) Serpent Kingdoms, page 55 And the sidebar on the same page Thank you, very kind Karsus the Mad.
Karsus the Mad 03-17-07, 05:39 PM	Thank you, very kind Karsus the Mad. :tiphat: No prob. Trying to find a snippet of text in thousands of pages can be frustratingly similar to trying to find a needle in a haystack:)