1001 Silly Cantrips [Archive] - Wizards Community

1001 Silly Cantrips [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Novacat
08-29-05, 03:12 AM In the spirit of 1001 Silly Spells, and 1001 Silly Feats, I give you...

1001 Silly Cantrips! (the cousin of 1001 Silly Spells)
I'll start it off with a few silly cantrips I have genuinely wished I had at my disposal in past games...

1. Beer Vision
Enchantment (Mind-Affecting)
Level: Wiz/Sor 0, Brd 0
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 Standard Action
Range: Touch
Target: One Humanoid
Duration: 1 hour
Saving Throw: Will Negates

While under the effect of this spell, the subject cannot distinguish between attractive and unattractive people. This grants a +2 circumstance bonus on CHA-based checks to seduce that creature.

2. Butt Thunder
Transmutation
Level: Wiz/Sor 0
Components: S
Casting Time: 1 Full Round Action
Range: Close (25 feet + 5 feet per 2 caster levels)
Target: One creature with humanoid digestive system
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Fortitude partial

The subject of this spell is overcome by the urge to fart, and does so immediately upon a failed save. The fart is loud enough to be heard by all within 20 feet, and smells horrible (treat the target as having the Stench ability) for one round. A successful save reduces the volume to an inaudible level, but the smell remains.

3. Enlarge Member
Level: Sor/Wiz 0, Brd 0
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 Standard Action
Range: Personal
Duration: 12 hours

Your "One-Eyed Trouser Snake" doubles in both girth and length. Your fatter, sloppier, happier hog grants you a +2 endowment bonus on all CHA-based checks to woo the ladies.
The_Ditto
08-29-05, 09:28 AM 4. Exfoliate.
Transmutation
Level: Wiz/Sor 0, Brd 0
Components: M
Casting Time: 10 minutes
Range: Touch
Target: One Humanoid
Duration: 1 Day
Saving Throw: Fort Negates (harmless)

Applying a specially prepared mudpack to the targets face, upon completion (and removal of said mudpack) the recipient gains a +2 bonus to all Charisma related checks for the remained of the day. This bonus is lost once the recipient goes to sleep.

Material Components: Mudpack ..
Seeker95
08-29-05, 01:17 PM Not bad, but please change the thread title to "1001 Silly Cantrips".
I will keep reading as this thread grows. :thumbsup:
Novacat
09-02-05, 02:00 AM Bump.
smrtgmp
09-02-05, 02:44 AM Something for you promiscuous bards out there:

5.
Jimmy Hat
Evocation [force]
Level: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 0
Components: S,M
Casting Time: Swift Action (any longer is too long)
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 10 min/lvl

With a wink of the eye and a snap of the fingers, this spell sheathes your member in an infentesimally thin wall of force (which, at the casters option, can be ribbed for her pleasure) that transmits sensations normally but prevents direct physical contact and the passing of bodily fluids.

Material Component: A small piece of lamb's skin.
Novacat
09-02-05, 03:14 AM Ahem.

Smrtgmp, while I appreciate and enjoy your post, please post cantrips only. Thank you.
smrtgmp
09-02-05, 04:29 AM whoops. those were supposed to be 0's.

fixed.
Adrez Nesnsid
11-08-06, 09:17 AM BUMP! :bump:
Alamanther's comeback
11-08-06, 11:11 AM Endowment bonus - :rofl:

Off the top of my head:

Mladen's rhinophyma
Transmutation
Level: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 0
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5ft./2 levels)
Target: 1 humanoid
Duration: 1 hour/lvl
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates, then Will partial

With a cruel word and a rude gesture, you cause your target's nose to swell to proportions greatly beyond his racial norm. The target is allowed a Fortitude save to avoid the transformation. If the target fails its Fortitude save, the transformation occurs and the target must make a Will save. On a failed Will save, the target immediately becomes self-conscious about his changed appearance, taking a -2 penalty to all Charisma-based checks for the duration of the spell.

Lemmiwinks
Illusion [Phantasm)
Level: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 0
Components: V, S, M, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5ft./2 levels)
Target: 1 humanoid
Duration: 1 round/level (see below)
Saving Throw: Will negates

You emit a tiny squeak and point a glass tube at your target, creating a phantasmal image of a gerbil in his mind. The target gets a Will save to recognise the gerbil as unreal. If that save fails, the gerbil finds an orrifice through which to enter the target. The target experiences discomfort as the phantasmal gerbil scurries about inside him. The distraction imposes a -1 penalty on all attack rolls, ability checks, and skills checks made by the target. Each round, the target gets a new Will save to end the spell.
Material Component: A bit of fur from a gerbil or other fine rodent.
Arcane Focus: A glass tube with two open ends.

They're kinda bad, I know... :(
Knute
11-08-06, 03:55 PM Levitate Citrus
Evocation?
Level: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 0
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 2 ft. + 1ft/2 levels)
Target: 1-3 Citrus Fruits
Duration: 10min/lvl
Saving Throw: na
This cantrip allows the caster to levitate up to 3 citrus fruits of any type smaller than 1' diameter. If the fruits come in contact with anything the spell fails. No other objects may be levitated.

Bathroom Tissue
This spell conjures an appropriate amount of toilet paper for one wizard per level. The tissue is clean, comfortable and 3 ply. The paper exists for 8hrs. After 8hrs it disappears - nobody has shown any interest in finding out if it goes somewhere.

Knute
Thiez
11-08-06, 05:56 PM Hands of Steel
Transmutation
Level: Sor/Wiz 0
Components: S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: 1 minute or until discharged

Your hands become hard as steel, allowing you to break an incomming bolt or arrow with a quick punch! While under the effect of this spell, you can destroy a single non-magical projectile targeting you, weighing less than 1 lb. To do so you can make a melee touch attack against the incomming projectile as a swift action. If your attack roll is higher than the ranged weapon's attack roll, the incomming projectile is distroyed. This use discharges the spell.

Focus: A blindfold, that must we worn over the eyes. Removing this blindfold before the spell's duration is expired dispells the spell.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Novacat 08-29-05, 03:12 AM	In the spirit of 1001 Silly Spells, and 1001 Silly Feats, I give you... 1001 Silly Cantrips! (the cousin of 1001 Silly Spells) I'll start it off with a few silly cantrips I have genuinely wished I had at my disposal in past games... 1. Beer Vision Enchantment (Mind-Affecting) Level: Wiz/Sor 0, Brd 0 Components: V, S Casting Time: 1 Standard Action Range: Touch Target: One Humanoid Duration: 1 hour Saving Throw: Will Negates While under the effect of this spell, the subject cannot distinguish between attractive and unattractive people. This grants a +2 circumstance bonus on CHA-based checks to seduce that creature. 2. Butt Thunder Transmutation Level: Wiz/Sor 0 Components: S Casting Time: 1 Full Round Action Range: Close (25 feet + 5 feet per 2 caster levels) Target: One creature with humanoid digestive system Duration: Instantaneous Saving Throw: Fortitude partial The subject of this spell is overcome by the urge to fart, and does so immediately upon a failed save. The fart is loud enough to be heard by all within 20 feet, and smells horrible (treat the target as having the Stench ability) for one round. A successful save reduces the volume to an inaudible level, but the smell remains. 3. Enlarge Member Level: Sor/Wiz 0, Brd 0 Components: V, S Casting Time: 1 Standard Action Range: Personal Duration: 12 hours Your "One-Eyed Trouser Snake" doubles in both girth and length. Your fatter, sloppier, happier hog grants you a +2 endowment bonus on all CHA-based checks to woo the ladies.
The_Ditto 08-29-05, 09:28 AM	4. Exfoliate. Transmutation Level: Wiz/Sor 0, Brd 0 Components: M Casting Time: 10 minutes Range: Touch Target: One Humanoid Duration: 1 Day Saving Throw: Fort Negates (harmless) Applying a specially prepared mudpack to the targets face, upon completion (and removal of said mudpack) the recipient gains a +2 bonus to all Charisma related checks for the remained of the day. This bonus is lost once the recipient goes to sleep. Material Components: Mudpack ..
Seeker95 08-29-05, 01:17 PM	Not bad, but please change the thread title to "1001 Silly Cantrips". I will keep reading as this thread grows. :thumbsup:
Novacat 09-02-05, 02:00 AM	Bump.
smrtgmp 09-02-05, 02:44 AM	Something for you promiscuous bards out there: 5. Jimmy Hat Evocation [force] Level: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 0 Components: S,M Casting Time: Swift Action (any longer is too long) Range: Personal Target: You Duration: 10 min/lvl With a wink of the eye and a snap of the fingers, this spell sheathes your member in an infentesimally thin wall of force (which, at the casters option, can be ribbed for her pleasure) that transmits sensations normally but prevents direct physical contact and the passing of bodily fluids. Material Component: A small piece of lamb's skin.
Novacat 09-02-05, 03:14 AM	Ahem. Smrtgmp, while I appreciate and enjoy your post, please post cantrips only. Thank you.
smrtgmp 09-02-05, 04:29 AM	whoops. those were supposed to be 0's. fixed.
Adrez Nesnsid 11-08-06, 09:17 AM	BUMP! :bump:
Alamanther's comeback 11-08-06, 11:11 AM	Endowment bonus - :rofl: Off the top of my head: Mladen's rhinophyma Transmutation Level: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 0 Components: V, S Casting Time: 1 standard action Range: Close (25 ft. + 5ft./2 levels) Target: 1 humanoid Duration: 1 hour/lvl Saving Throw: Fortitude negates, then Will partial With a cruel word and a rude gesture, you cause your target's nose to swell to proportions greatly beyond his racial norm. The target is allowed a Fortitude save to avoid the transformation. If the target fails its Fortitude save, the transformation occurs and the target must make a Will save. On a failed Will save, the target immediately becomes self-conscious about his changed appearance, taking a -2 penalty to all Charisma-based checks for the duration of the spell. Lemmiwinks Illusion [Phantasm) Level: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 0 Components: V, S, M, F Casting Time: 1 standard action Range: Close (25 ft. + 5ft./2 levels) Target: 1 humanoid Duration: 1 round/level (see below) Saving Throw: Will negates You emit a tiny squeak and point a glass tube at your target, creating a phantasmal image of a gerbil in his mind. The target gets a Will save to recognise the gerbil as unreal. If that save fails, the gerbil finds an orrifice through which to enter the target. The target experiences discomfort as the phantasmal gerbil scurries about inside him. The distraction imposes a -1 penalty on all attack rolls, ability checks, and skills checks made by the target. Each round, the target gets a new Will save to end the spell. Material Component: A bit of fur from a gerbil or other fine rodent. Arcane Focus: A glass tube with two open ends. They're kinda bad, I know... :(
Knute 11-08-06, 03:55 PM	Levitate Citrus Evocation? Level: Brd 0, Sor/Wiz 0 Components: V, S Casting Time: 1 standard action Range: 2 ft. + 1ft/2 levels) Target: 1-3 Citrus Fruits Duration: 10min/lvl Saving Throw: na This cantrip allows the caster to levitate up to 3 citrus fruits of any type smaller than 1' diameter. If the fruits come in contact with anything the spell fails. No other objects may be levitated. Bathroom Tissue This spell conjures an appropriate amount of toilet paper for one wizard per level. The tissue is clean, comfortable and 3 ply. The paper exists for 8hrs. After 8hrs it disappears - nobody has shown any interest in finding out if it goes somewhere. Knute
Thiez 11-08-06, 05:56 PM	Hands of Steel Transmutation Level: Sor/Wiz 0 Components: S, F Casting Time: 1 standard action Range: Personal Target: You Duration: 1 minute or until discharged Your hands become hard as steel, allowing you to break an incomming bolt or arrow with a quick punch! While under the effect of this spell, you can destroy a single non-magical projectile targeting you, weighing less than 1 lb. To do so you can make a melee touch attack against the incomming projectile as a swift action. If your attack roll is higher than the ranged weapon's attack roll, the incomming projectile is distroyed. This use discharges the spell. Focus: A blindfold, that must we worn over the eyes. Removing this blindfold before the spell's duration is expired dispells the spell.