Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Secrets Untold 12-21-05, 10:03 PM	God that was a lot of "U" words, but none-the-less: 1) Jump for the Olympic Pole-Vault Event 2) Open/Close for repetitively slamming doors in door-to-door salesmen's faces. 3) Jump for dusting those hard to reach places.
Novacat 12-21-05, 10:11 PM	4) Clone. For those lonely nights.
Dhavaer 12-21-05, 10:17 PM	4) Clone. For those lonely nights. The Clone isn't actually conscious until you die, so... Simulcrum, for those lonely nights. might be more appropriate?
Novacat 12-21-05, 10:26 PM	The Clone isn't actually conscious until you die, so... I know.
green_yawgmoth 12-22-05, 12:51 AM	I know.That's it. Close the thread, Novacat has officially won. XD http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
Secrets Untold 12-22-05, 04:46 PM	you can't win 1001 threads, unless you wrote the entire thing. By the way: 5) Rainbow Pattern to kill flying creatures with falling damage 6) Dancing Lights to blind gaurds 7) Silent Image to make #8 look like #9 8) Animate for running a 9) Animate for running a
gorfnad the shiznit 12-22-05, 05:41 PM	10. Stone to Flesh + Prestidigitation + a camp grill = Steak Barbaque
malignor 12-22-05, 09:06 PM	11. Telekinetic Sphere to move your TV or furniture 12. Reverse Gravity to skip walking up the stairs
Vikjunk 12-22-05, 10:49 PM	13. Unseen Savant: For when you too lazy get up to get your own beer. 14. Zone of Silence: For when you want to get a good nights sleep when your neighbor are being nosy. 15. Chill Metal: For when you want to drink your canned beer cold. 16. Heat Metal: So you can warm your canned soup when a microwave or stove isn’t handy. 17. Heroes’ Feast: For when you don’t want to worry about cooking for the holidays.
Secrets Untold 12-23-05, 06:09 PM	18) Tasha's Hidious Laughter for becoming a stand-up comic 19) Helping Hand for flippin' people off 20) Death Watch for slow timings
Secrets Untold 12-23-05, 06:12 PM	21) Repultion for avoiding assassains 23) Plant Growth for winning those stupid "biggest vegie" contests
Lord Dastir 12-23-05, 06:32 PM	I think we are going a little off track. There are alot of spells being mentioned on this thread that are from from "Usually Useless" To get us back on track... 24) Sleep - no problem getting the kids to bed at night... (I know, I know, Sleep is very useful at low levels...)
flametounge 12-24-05, 11:20 AM	25. Arcane Mark: Free tatoo.
Pandaemoni 12-24-05, 11:42 AM	26. Open/Close for all the times in gas station restrooms when someone put the toilet lid down. (only useful if your unseen servants have been used up fetching you beer and you don't have prestidigitation).
Ulairecantea 09-13-06, 04:54 PM	Actually, I found Arcane Mark to be very useful. In one campaign I was in the party sorcerer was captured and a polymorphed enemy was sent in his place. How'd we figure it out? The replacement lacked the sorcerer's signature Arcane Mark, which we checked the moment someone got "suspicious" of the way the replacement was acting. Heighten Spell Feat + Ray of Frost = counter for quite the number of fire based attacks and such, unless I'm very much mistaken (which I probably am)
Mysticaloctopus 09-13-06, 05:58 PM	28. Mage Hand, same purpose as Clone 29. A mispelling of mine that got Sigged (I forget by whom). It was an unfortunate typo of tenser's floating disk, and keeps female mages happy. 30. Magic Circle against Law, for winning court cases against the RIAA (they can't enter court, so case defaults)... wait, lawyers? lawyer is an oxymoron. Magic circle against chaos / evil, or in the case of Mr. Slant, a mere Hallow will ward off undead. And no, I do not hate All lawyers. Just the evil ones. 31. Stone to Flesh for an unusual kind of quicksand. I think it's the Fifth Elephant, but there's a diskworld book where underground fat deposits cause political war. 32. Silent Time Stop in an exam. Whoo! 33. Summon Monster 1 at a badger show. Celestial badgers are naturally prettier than normal badgers, so just pull the old hey-ho-switch-o! My favourite "useless" spell I'd like in real life: Freudian Slip. Imagine if you could inflict these in real life. That or Cone of Lobsters.
Optimator 09-13-06, 07:43 PM	28. My favourite "useless" spell I'd like in real life: Freudian Slip. Imagine if you could inflict these in real life. That or Cone of Lobsters. :thumbsup:
green_yawgmoth 09-13-06, 08:09 PM	My favourite "useless" spell I'd like in real life: Freudian Slip. Imagine if you could inflict these in real life. That or Cone of Lobsters. You could start up your own resturant with CoL and become rich! Then sit around the dining area and cast Freudian Slip all day long. :rofl: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
Adrez Nesnsid 11-10-06, 09:44 AM	34.) Ray of Frost for chilling your beer
malignor 11-10-06, 11:25 AM	35 - Resurrection for bringing back threads from the dead (???)
Arien_Drajanuma 11-10-06, 01:02 PM	28. Mage Hand, same purpose as Clone. AAAARRRRGHHHHH! MENTAL IMAGE!!!! I'M TAINTED!!!!! *roll on th floor thrashing the place and foaming at the mouth* . . . . . 30 mins later... *get up, put everything back and hide the bodies* -mage hand for getting the remote when you're already sitting down -clairvoyance, scrying, arcane eye or such to check on your girlfriend (or the girls' showers) -Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion: when you're on a date, don't spend on a motel -4 walls of force, 1 web in the middle of the rectangle formed and a delayed blast fireball: kamikaze voleyball -wind gust to lift a woman's skirt -ghost sound to scare your little brother -erase to copy notes in an exam and get away with it
Oswald Krato 11-10-06, 05:00 PM	43. Prestidigitation to change the flavor of your food. 44. Prestidigitation to change the color of your clothes. 45. Prestidigitation to soil people's pants. It's Minor Wish. Cure Minor Wounds does 1 healing, Minor Wish is Prestidigitation.
Slightly_Unscrewed 11-10-06, 06:44 PM	46: Flare as a singal 47: Color Spray to annoy the dwarf.
Platonix 11-10-06, 10:26 PM	I was in a campaign once where the PCs knew a Bezekira was in the room (Bezekira are devils who are naturally invisible in any light bright enough for a human to see by, and magical darkness doesn't help either; they can only be seen in natural darkness.) The room was lit by five or six torches on the walls. Our Mystic Theurge came up with the solution by using 48: Ray of frost to extinguish torches long-range
KendallDM 11-11-06, 01:36 PM	49. Virtue, to make yourself feel better after having hit yourself (or an ally) with the splash damage from a too close heave of alchemist fire. *shrug* It happens... While running my game,the party came across a group of trogolodyte leaders and proceeded to fight them. The ranger, an archer behind the front line, decided to lob an alchemist's fire into the trogolodyte front line, and thereby, give his own front line an automatic 1 point of damage. The fight rages on, party members drop, trogs (tried of writing the full name :P) drop, until eventually the trogolodyte cleric is engaged by the party cleric, the last two remaining combatants. The trog cleric then reachs out and touches the cleric in an unwholesome way, with the death touch domain ability. I roll, and do EXACTLY the amount of remaining hit points of the cleric, and thus killing him. Yeah, he was on the front line, and received that 1 point of alchemist's fire damage. Can you imagine it, the cleric falls, and all the players in the game turn to look at the ranger's player as soon as they realize why it had happened. Biggest laugh I ever had. Maybe not the biggest. Really got a kick out of the ranger shooting one of his allies with a healing arrow, only to realize that his bow that does +1d6 electricity and +1d6 cold damage just made him worse. Hehe.
MagicJuggler 11-11-06, 03:05 PM	Hoo boy. Looks like I'm focusing on Cantrips. 50. Combine Open/Close with Fire-trap cast on a corked flask. Use Open-close to open the flask after throwing at an enemy. 51. I wish my club turkey had mustard! Presdigitation. 52. Create Water is useful for a reason few people ever consider; activating pressure-plates. Carry a giant bucket with you. Then lay it on a pressure-plate, then create water in it. It will create far more weight than an Unseen Servant could ever do so. 53. Mending is extremely useful in general. Make Whole is obviously better, as is the entire Repair series of spells, but it still is nice to have.
ikki 11-11-06, 03:20 PM	hmm.. clauridince for viewing pretty girls, limited wish to get astrand of their hair.. simulcra for making one of those for yourself, and mordenkinens mansion for all night, every night :D 54. Fetch monster, like a cow, when you are hungry 55. Clone for growing more dragonscale when you want to make a ship covered in it.. or justlike to collect bones. Its ok if the dragon is still alive, infact far better ;) Goes for all other kinds of bodyparts aswell. 56. Alter self "hi honey, im back early.." :D
Vampirikus1 11-11-06, 04:22 PM	57: Arcane mark, Tattoos without the pain 58: Fireball, Getting the barbeque going 59: Implosion, KOBOLDS and little brothers who constantly interrupt the session 60: Wish, Turning Elves bright yellow 61: Create water, Making statues cry and then claiming miracle
MagicJuggler 11-11-06, 05:05 PM	Hi. This is useful uses for Useless spells, not Useless uses for Useful spells. 62) The Unseen Servant Machinegun. On each turn, you exchange crossbows with the Unseen Servant. You fire, and he reloads. 63) If you feel like a manical dungeon-master, fill numerous empty treasure-chests with Fire Trap, but put the real treasure in a chest with Phantom Trap. 64) Casting Explosive Runes with the Nonlethal metamagic feat is always great for kicks. "By the time you finish reading this, it will be too late to realize this you have activated an Exploding Runes Spell." 65) Placing Sepia Snake Signal on a bank deposit form. Great way to start a bank robbery. 66) If you have a lot of Rogues/Deepwood Snipers/Assassins/anyone with ranged Sneak attacks, Leomund's Tiny hut provides them with total concealment, essentially flatfooting their targets. 67) Combine Water-breathing with Create/Control Water, and you can screw-over land-based opponents. Of course, if you're a Merfolk, you'll only want water-controlling abilities so you aren't always a fish out of water.
Xia 11-11-06, 11:07 PM	LOL, just LOL:clap: :ayyyy!: :rofl: :thumbsup:
Xia 11-12-06, 01:41 AM	(68) Stone to Flesh: for when the sadistic arch-villain has nothing left to torture.
Gahread 11-12-06, 01:47 AM	2) Open/Close for repetitively slamming doors in door-to-door salesmen's faces. 69. Open/Close, for when your rogue is a moron. "Okay, no traps!" "You unlocked it?" "Yup!" :) "Good, stand behind me." "Uh... okay." *open* *MaximizedFireball spews from the box* "No traps, huh?" "Oops..."
Iver Gearsham 11-12-06, 10:32 PM	70: Scater Trap for Hop Scotch fun.
Master_Baerne 11-13-06, 08:57 PM	time stop to allow you to pull down a lady's bra with mage hand scry to observe everything. simulacrum to make a clone girlfriend charm person on a random hottie and party all night! stone to flesh on Greek statues of Aphrodite. Use your imagination.