Post/Author/DateTime	Post
woodwalker 07-17-05, 08:07 PM	in the entertainment district of a city, there is a joke shop, but not just any joke shop, this one is filled to the brim with bogus spells and joke magical items that could be considered trivially cursed. lets see who can come up with the best spells or items. ring of skinvisability- when worn, this ring allows the owner to either make thier clothes invisibly, making them appeare nude; or, makes their skin becomoe invisible, allowing all around them to see through the weareers skin, and into their body, as though the had been skinned.
Radijs 07-17-05, 08:44 PM	Rumboid Ioun stone. Tastes like Rum. Not my best ones but hey if it works. Dont forget to check out the thread about the most useless magical items. There are spells in there that could work very well for your shop.
Seeker95 07-17-05, 08:52 PM	ring of perceived invisibility The wearer cannot see himself. Noone else is affected.
Radijs 07-17-05, 09:08 PM	Ring of starvation. Opposed tot the ring of sustenance the ring of starvation drains nutrients from the body causing the wearer to be hungry and thirsty almost continuously. Ring of falling The wearer of this ring must succeed on a DC15 balance check every 5 minutes or fall flat on his face and suffer 3 points of subdual damage. Headband of offense This powerful magical item causes the wearer to emit an aura that offends. People nearby will be convinced that the wearer just said something rude or made a joke at their expense. People affected by the aura feel compelled to act upon this feeling. Ring of the goat Upon uttering the command word the ring summons forth a goat that can eat just about anything. The goat follows the wearer of the ring around for 30 minutes before wandering off again. Every 10 minutes the person nearest to the goat must make a DC 10 spot check or the goat will eat his belt if he is wearing pants of the back of his garment if he is wearing something else.
kSquared 07-17-05, 09:20 PM	obligatory Morrowind example: boots of blinding speed: As boots of haste, but when activated, also renders the wearer blind.
Platonix 07-17-05, 09:39 PM	Invisible Ring. When you put it on...it becomes invisible. Some bogus spells...breathe air that only works on humanoids. One fun one a friend of mine came up with long ago...Tasha's hideous uncontrollable polymorph. Just imagine the possibilities. Ray of Robert Frost: when cast in a yellow wood, forms two roads that diverge. When cast in a snowy wood, causes enemies to be hypnotised by the scenery.
Loren Pechtel 07-17-05, 11:51 PM	Well, long ago I came up with The Mad Mage. Nobody knows much about him, nobody admits to ever having seen him. He's a *VERY* powerful but *VERY* crazy wizard. He's developed some arcane versions of divine spells. However they are *VERY* hard to cast correctly and it's completely impossible cast them correctly if you do not have some form of insanity when you make the attempt. Raise Dead: Incorrect function: The corpse is permanently levitated to chest height for the caster. This makes it much easier to transport the corpse out of the dungeon but it could prove quite a problem for the guy if he's successfully raised. Cure Light Wounds: Incorrect function: It cures *ALL* damage caused by light but nothing else. However it's very hard to get damaged by light, it's quite rare for this to accomplish anything. Cure Critical Wounds: Incorrect function: It cures any and all wounds that are *INDIVIDUALLY* over 75% of the target's total hps. It's actually the most useful of the spells as it can be used in the round a target dies. It's also useable to heal someone vorpalized or who failed a save vs massive damage. Unfortunately, if it brings someone back like this they are permanently (short of a wish/miracle or the like) stuck with a random form of insanity. Anyone casting any of his spells even from a scroll has a % chance of developing a random insanity equal to the spell's level. It can be treated normally but the victim will believe they are now seeing the world clearer and will actively oppose any attempts at treatment.
sabrewolf 07-18-05, 12:50 AM	Woodwalker: Loved the ring of skinvisability. I just might give one to some NPC or a future character.. :D And while at it: Ring of Major Skinvisability (Aka, Ring of Unseen Flesh). This ring makes the wearer´s flesh (or his flesh and clothes) invisible, making him appear like a walking skeleton. (might be usefull on healing classes) Inspired by Radjis´ring: Ring of feather falling: The wearer feels lighter and wherever he goes he leaves behind a scattered trail of feathers. When still there´s a cumulative 5% chance that a single feather will drift down from some random location. Based on memories from A long forgotten issue of a long dead magazine: Cloak of Thorns: When worn this cloak can cover most of thewearer´s form and at a commant, sprouds out very sharp thorns (1d6 damage or worse) on every direction... EVERY direction.. (inside included) Rod of Teleport: You just need name a location, general of specific, knowing it or just having heard of it, and with a command word the rod instantly and without any chance of error teleports to that exact location... I said, the rod.. only... Briliant Helm of Invisibility: On command this finnely (and exageratedly) crafted helm makes the wearer and all his belongings completely invisible.. It is of note though that the helm itself is unaffected (but teh wearer doesnt nottices it) and also begins emiting a bright eye-striking light (use Light or Daylight and make it pink, green, orange..)...
Rulebook 07-18-05, 03:48 AM	heh, we had a really powerful sword before. it was all pink and sparkly with hearts and unicorns stickered to the handle. it glowed HOT pink and left a trail of glitter when swung. it also turned any armor you were wearing bright sparkly rainbow colored and made you talk with a horrendous lisp. it was a fun item to torture the redneck guy that gamed with us for a while. Tasha's Hideous Uncontrollable Haircut Boots of Striding and Singing (if you're lucky they do Marching Cadence, Showtunes if you're not) Decanter of Endless Lime Jello, geyser only, once activated it runs for 5 minutes Chewing gum with Soverign Glue centers Potions of Owl's Strength Bag of Haggling: as bags of holding, but they haggle with you and insist you put something in them before you can take something out. Deck of Many Cards Belt of Giant Pants Potion of Nondetection (you cant find it... ever) Ring of Spell Storing: stores away every spell you try to cast, and dosent let you have them back unless you have a... ...Ring of Wizarding: Randomly casts prepared or stored spells Ring of Turning Spells: spells randomly turn 90 degrees from thier intended path Rod of Wonder: It LOOKS like a rod... but you wonder Rod of Withering: Withers away when you use it Rod of Flailing: makes you dance like some spazzy Emo kid for a while Rod of Negation: argues everything you try to say
Iver Gearsham 07-18-05, 01:43 PM	Color Spray causes caster to vomit in a 15 ft. cone. Boots of Levitation only the boots levitate the wearer must make balance checks each round or when taking any attack action or flip upside down. Ring of Narcoleptic Sustainance as the normal ring except the wearer randomly falls asleep for 1 or two minutes during the 24 hours. total sleep time equaling 2 hours is broken up over 24 hours. Underwear of Wedgy anyone speaking the command word causes the underwear to be lifted 3 feet into the air dragging the wearer along with it. Ration of Flesh Bloat Fort save dc 15 or victims flesh swells up til they are a huge immobile ball duration 1 minute. Shoe Laces of Entangle
journeyman777 07-18-05, 02:27 PM	Unseen Prankster= as Unseen Servant, but it doesn't take orders, it just plays practical jokes on anyone within range Boots of reverse gravity = Wearer walks around upside down with his/her head brushing the ground Boots of pass with trace = a dotted line marks everywhere the wearer goes (line lasts 1 hour/CL)
woodwalker 07-20-05, 05:00 PM	oh yeah, that was good. though i take offence to the redneck crack.
Liwmial 07-20-05, 05:36 PM	This seems like the joke shop in the newest Harry Potter book .... if youwant some good ideas, give that book a read. Candies that make your nose bleed and what not. Good times.
Chade Fallstar 07-20-05, 06:17 PM	I'm suprised no one has yet mentioned my favorite: Cloak of blending: The collar has three settings- chop, mix, and liquify. You figure it out.
woodwalker 07-21-05, 09:10 PM	nise one chade. i read the newest harry potter book in about 2.5 days. ( i got it saturday, finished monday at about 12:50) im gonna go crazy waiting for the next one to come out.
ShadowWarrior 07-21-05, 10:19 PM	Here's a few inspired by that very same book. U-NO-POO When a vict... er... person consumes this potion they are rendered unable to relieve themselves of hard waste. This effect lasts for 12 hours. Smart Answer Quill When used these quills compel the writer to make a smart answer to an otherwise difficult question. Reusable Hangman This ingenious little bloke has been sentenced to die for poor spelling, and if yours isn't a bit better than his, he'll hang from the gallows. His life's in your hands. Skiving Snackboxes Each sweet is colour-coded so that one end causes the illness and the other makes the effect lift. Available in: Fainting Fancy Fever Fudge Nosebleed Nougat Puking Pastilles Coughing Coconut Headless Hats When you put this on your head, it'll make your head (and the hat) invisible. Pet Rock It's a rock. It's a pet. It's REALLY a pet. Their mouths are really something else. You don't have to feed these, but you do have to keep them comfortable. Some of them sing, some of them tell jokes, some of them curse like poltergeists. And the best part is, you don't know what kind you've got until you take it home! p.s. the book was awesome, I finished it in less than a day ^_^ I have some theories on how Dumbledore could have trusted Snape but I don't want to ruin the book for anyone who hasn't read it.
kingpocky 07-21-05, 10:19 PM	Mordenkaiden's lubrication For... personal uses. Talisman of moderate evil gives the wearer urges to park across two spaces in a parking lot, and other such things Talisman of insignificant evil causes maniacal laughter, but not really much else
dragonwolf keny 07-21-05, 10:59 PM	Unseen Prankster= as Unseen Servant, but it doesn't take orders, it just plays practical jokes on anyone within range could you give us stats and a picture please? oh wait if it has a picture it wouldn't be unseen would it. :confused: wow a joke unseen before we see it. more :confused:
dragonwolf keny 07-21-05, 11:02 PM	by the way, is the shop hireing I need a job badly! :D
da beast 07-22-05, 02:10 AM	Belt of explosive diariha.... You know what just forget i suggested this one :eek: : :twitch: Rod of dabilitating stupidity: When this rod is held the weilders Int is dicreased to 1 and cannot be returned to normal as long as the rod is held.
woodwalker 07-22-05, 02:11 PM	no, the shop is not hireing. by the way, i chech this thread about once a day, so dont expect answers to any questions in any sort of timely manor.
wizkid 07-22-05, 04:31 PM	Belt of gender change:Need you ask :eek: :confused: :rolleyes: :plotting: :evillaugh :cloud9: :rofl: :devil: :noway: :rolleye2: :pbbbtt: :uh-huh: :nonono: :censored:
Iver Gearsham 07-22-05, 04:45 PM	Bubble Gum of Word Bubbles after you chew it and it is in your mouth when you attempt to speak or make any utterance no sound is produced but beside you or above your head is written what ever you tried to say in a big white bubble that is readable from any angle. Origami paper of message you write your message say the name of a creature the name of recipient with the command word and it folds up and runs or flies off to deliver its self. Clown Makeup it appears as a normal makeup set when the cosmetics are applied they appear to the user as they applied it normal but when ever not observed by the wearer it changes to clownish form. Hairsuite bodywash/soap as normal soap/bodywash it will clean you but make your body grow long hair in 1 hour were ever you used it. Babble gum has no effect if only one person chews gum from the pack. When two or more people chew gum from the same pack they randomly speak from one of the other persons mouth/s with that persons voice when they say something. Beer bottle Glasses see and hear the world through the eye’s and ear’s of a drunk while sober. Warning! Maker takes no responsibility for the psychological damage that may or may not occur apone removal of glasses and discovering that you married your fat chain smoking first cousin. For entertainment purposes only. Use with caution.
High Octane 07-22-05, 05:40 PM	Tap the map and say "Mischief managed."
dragonwolf keny 07-22-05, 05:51 PM	that ok I wasn't serious anyways, I just felt like making a good joke. :D xD well, I guess I might as well get into the spirit. dragon trickster- a dragon that randomly pranks any person nearby. using any prank spell or item it can grab. (might have a picture latter if I fell like it.)
syrinth 02-13-06, 12:27 AM	Got bored so...... Avada Kedavra Darkus Magicus Resurectus Corpus yadayadayada......... Belt of Pantsing: This belt appears to be a belt of Cha+2 however, whenever the wearer is in a socially important situation(ie flirting, or holding counsel with the king) the belt will loosen and cause the characters pants to drop regardless of whatever precautions they take. I too am a powerful Thread Necromancer!