Arcane Bumperstickers [Archive] - Wizards Community

Arcane Bumperstickers [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Meshakhad
07-18-05, 12:31 AM On the Psionics board, there is the Bumperstickers for Psionicists thread (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=419169), which is hilarious. Now, I shall create the Arcane Bumpersticker thread. Visit the psionic one for ideas.

Of course, I get the best one of all...

1. I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.
He Who Lurks
07-18-05, 01:25 AM "Horn Broken; Watch for Fireballs."
"I Could Be Teleporting Right Now..."
"I'm an Enchanter, You Don't Need to See My License and Registration."
"My Other Transportation is a Magic Carpet." (Broom works, too)
"I've Never Had an Accident, Thanks to Foresight."
"Proud Parent of a Mordenkainen's Magical Academy Honor Student."
NeueRegel
07-18-05, 01:44 AM "Proud Parent of a Mordenkainen's Magical Academy Honor Student."
"My student feebleminded your honor student"
Vanigo
07-18-05, 02:36 AM "There are 3 kinds of people in the world: People who can cast similacrum, and people who can't"
Link182
07-18-05, 03:03 AM just off the top of my head...

Vehicle Insured by The Sword of Kas

My Other Car is Baba Yaga's Hut

If you don't like the way I drive, cast fly.

I don't have the Hand of Vecna, just the middle finger (pic of skeletal hand giving the bird)
or
Bigby's Middle Finger (same pic)

Honk all you want, this car is Protected from Evil.

Geas, Grass or As$, nobody rides for free.

Do not tailgate, this car is an iron golem.

I just cast Call Nightmare, looks as if you've finally arrived.

Do us all a favor, Feign Death.

Projected Image.

If your in such a hurry, stop tailgating and cast haste.

You didn't see me speeding. It was my Clone.

Hop in baby, I can turn part of my flesh to stone

You Wish

Come closer honey and see my Magic Missle.

If you can read this, you can Read Magic.

If this van is rockin, don't come a Knockin.
Rulebook
07-18-05, 03:12 AM Ellminster for President
Silly rogue, wands are for wizards!
Failed Polymorph Attempt
My other car is a rug
Prestidigitation: Keeping that new car smell since 586
Manyfist
07-18-05, 03:26 AM Melf's Acid arrow, is not Milf Acid Arrow. :D

I don't know if this is legal... but if it isn't I will take it off.
Link182
07-18-05, 03:40 AM I just cast Clairaudience. Please, please stop singing.

I just cast Clairvoyance. That shirt is horrible on you.
sabrewolf
07-18-05, 04:28 AM How am i driving? Cast Message.

Why the weels? My wings are healing...

I wasnt speeding. I´ve cast Slow.

Horn broken; Watch for Force Ram.

Horn broken; Watch for Wail of the Banshee.

Horn broken; Watch for Meteor Swarm.

If you don´t like the way i drive, Teleport.

Your horn still works; i´ve just cast Silence.

Mind yourself; I CAN turn you into a newt.
Seeker95
07-18-05, 09:05 AM Fireball an aberrant tarrasque for Pelor

If you can read this (insert symbol of insanity, etc.)

Vegetarian is an Orc word for "Bad Hunter"

Pelor is my Co-Pilot
tarkin
07-18-05, 01:25 PM So you know the difference between a Balor and a God? Neither does the Balor.
Pryrates
07-18-05, 01:41 PM "Spellbook on board"
"Quit casting and Drive"
"My other vehicile is a Halruaan airship"
"Black Mage for world domination"
"Im Pro-unlife"
Meshakhad
07-18-05, 07:01 PM Horn broken, listen for shout
This car is an Animated Object
Chade Fallstar
07-18-05, 08:02 PM Warning: This vehicle equiped with prismatic walls...

My car doesn't leak, I just hate you. (grease)

Watch for speedbumps. (Dig)

Watch for ice on road.

Watch for high winds.

Turn ahead. (Illusion, either way)

Stop complaining or those bugs won't be bugs.

Watch for stationary rock. (enlarge)

My other car is a :dragon:

Caution (insert summon here) crossing.
Luminous Crayon
07-18-05, 08:53 PM [In Draconic, or other setting-appropriate language of magic and scholarly learning:] "If you can read this, thank a wizardry teacher."
Seeker95
07-19-05, 08:33 AM Stop Dumbledor
Potter is a Fraud
Voldemort was Framed
Hug a Muggle
digoraccoon
07-19-05, 08:53 AM "+3 Jalopy of Holding."

"I'd rather be gaming."

"My other ride is a 52HD dragon."
Someone
07-19-05, 01:58 PM This car climbed Mt. Celestia.
This car drove the Great Circle.
Got metamagic?
Warning: this vehicle makes sudden stops, starts, turns, and fireballs.
I brake for dragons.
Caution: loose nut behind wheel.
Seeker95
07-19-05, 02:16 PM Manoeverability: Poor
Thank the Gods for Hardness!
It may not be a broom, but it runs.
Hogwarts Alumnus
Hogwarts Mom
My son and my money go to Hogwarts
I'd rather be in Greyhawk
Meshakhad
08-18-05, 01:39 PM Made in Thay/Halruaa
Slow down
Gear shift? Ha! I have plane shift!
Jaaz
08-18-05, 02:30 PM What plane's in your engine?
My high beams are Scorching Rays.
I would be going faster, but the universe made Haste suck.
Ethereal vehicles; relieving traffic since 695.
Warning: Muffler Shot. Frequent Explosive Spells.
My Dilbert Rocket's a Meteor Swarm.
If you want a flying car, honk again. (Reverse Gravity)
This road brought to you by my student's Move Earth.
Warning: Angry Battle Sorcerer on board.
havershame_swordflinger
08-18-05, 02:52 PM Warning: This car is displaced
Pryrates
08-18-05, 02:58 PM Mystra protect me from your followers
Azuth is my copilot
Gods bless Halruaa
New car + rust monster = This car
Faragon
08-18-05, 03:05 PM Of course, I get the best one of all...

1. I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.Only because you've stolen it from Order of the Stick (http://www.giantitp.com/cgi-bin/GiantITP/ootscript?SK=92). :P
Seeker95
08-18-05, 04:03 PM Only because you've stolen it from Order of the Stick (http://www.giantitp.com/cgi-bin/GiantITP/ootscript?SK=92). :PIt's not best because he stole it.
He stole it because it's best.
Vaalingrade Ashland
08-18-05, 04:21 PM I can cast lightning bolt six times a day. Just honk one more time.
Turn off your highbeams or I'll drop an incendary cloud on you.
The_EvilDungeon_Master
08-18-05, 04:37 PM "There are 3 kinds of people in the world: People who can cast similacrum, and people who can't"
:rofl: :heehee :dancin:
THAT IS AWESOME. Or maybe only I'm amused by it..
Rhadamanthus
08-18-05, 07:49 PM "Do us all a favor: Alter Self."

"Polymorph into a toad. Your looks will improve."

"I'm one Dimension Door away from ramming your tailpipe."

"Was that a Stinking Cloud or was that just you?"

"I ate Mordenkainen."

"Like my driving? Flying? Burrowing? Climbing?"
NinjaE
08-19-05, 11:03 AM Bumper of the ram installed.

Please keep your distance, in the event that this vehicle sprouts wings and needs a runway.
Meshakhad
10-01-05, 03:43 PM This car visited the Plane of Shadow, and all it got was this lousy bumpersticker.
Link182
10-01-05, 10:10 PM A picture of that "Jesus Fish" thing that's half man/half fish with Polymorph written underneath.
Psychoticpsymon
10-01-05, 10:32 PM "There are 3 kinds of people in the world: People who can cast similacrum, and people who can't":rofl: :heehee :dancin:
THAT IS AWESOME. Or maybe only I'm amused by it..

It was the best one!

Uhhhh,
Warning: This car was forged with a ring of blinking in the frame.
Kullak-Kobold Sorcerer
10-01-05, 10:43 PM Stop honking at me. I am double moving as fast as I can.
Vanigo
10-01-05, 10:48 PM Go ahead and tailgate - that way you're in Close range.
Taeldrin Laesrash
10-01-05, 11:00 PM "Boccob loves you."

This is based of a Darwinist sticker I once found.
Meshakhad
12-03-05, 01:13 PM bump
Oliver D'Argent
12-03-05, 01:47 PM "Did someone cast Feeblemind on you, or are you just stupid?"

"I can't remember if I've cast Lightning Bolt 5 times today or 6, so you should ask yourself, punk, 'Do I feel lucky?'"
Incognito2me
12-03-05, 03:17 PM "If you can read this, my incendiary cloud has already melted your bonnet"
"Warning: This vehicle has a strong ego and it doesn't like being crowded"
Chaostic
12-03-05, 09:39 PM "Don't look now, but you're being flanked."
The Game
12-04-05, 09:10 AM "Dark Mages: Putting the Romance back in Necromance"

"Disguise Self: Helping ugly people get laid since 540"
Xandore
12-04-05, 09:38 AM You're Flanked :schemes:

I Make Sneak Attacks :devil:

If You Want to Drive So Slow Go Ethereal :rant:
SabianDeMarco
12-04-05, 10:53 AM This Vehicle is Protected by Sepia Snake Security Systems
Rakasha#5
01-08-06, 07:30 PM "Did someone cast Feeblemind on you, or are you just stupid?"

"I can't remember if I've cast Lightning Bolt 5 times today or 6, so you should ask yourself, punk, 'Do I feel lucky?'"
I think its actually "I know what you're thinkin, did he cast lightning bolt 6 times or only 5, well in all this excitement I kinda forgot myself, but since this is a maxized lightning bolt the most powerful lightning bolt in the world and would blow you're head CLEAN off, you should ask yourself, "do I feel lucky"...well do you, punk?
Crystal Monk
11-17-06, 08:43 PM "Don't follow me, I'm under a Geas."

"My familiar is smarter than your honor student."

"Never play 'Whip It' near a Balor."
Salla
11-17-06, 08:54 PM I brake for Time Stop (then again, who doesn't?)

Bigby's Pimpslappin' Hand
User5127
11-17-06, 11:06 PM well i do have dnd bumper stickers.

"Don't make me roll for inittiative"
"I survived the tomb of horrors"

but yea.. i like these ones to.
IrishRover
11-17-06, 11:08 PM Marilith on Board

Psion-Ick
Wonton2006
11-17-06, 11:26 PM In Ignan, or some other language no one knows:

"If u can read this @ 50K, thank permanent Comprehend Languages."
isaac anthony
11-18-06, 02:18 AM "There are 3 kinds of people in the world: People who can cast similacrum, and people who can't"

ROFL!!@1@$#!%$!!
Dracomortis
11-18-06, 01:06 PM "Reading this provokes an attack of opportunity."
quigsworth
11-18-06, 03:45 PM "I played D&D before it was cool"
(One of my friends actually has this on on his truck:D )
Eyeohn
11-18-06, 08:23 PM "Support the fine arts - Power Word Kill a sorcerer."

"Im not getting my groove on, this is an otto's irresistable dance."

"Darkvision, All lights are assumed green."
Nessaj
11-18-06, 09:58 PM "Reading this provokes an attack of opportunity."

"Darkvision, All lights are assumed green."

"My honor student Feebleminded your honor student"

I'd SO buy these! :clap: I may be forced to return to this thread again and again to update. Good stuff...

"If you can read this, you've already entered my threatened squares"

"Hoard Stealers: DARWINISM at it's finest"

"Low on Gas? Bet you wish YOU took Eschew Materials..."

"I brake for Walls of Force"

"Warning: Tampering with May force a Reflex save for half."

"What's a POLYMORPH, you ask? Honk again and I'll explain."

"Arcane Thesis: ENERVATION"

"Jesus was a Conjurer"

"MY Dashboard Dog has 19 Outsider Hit Die..."

"Babau on Board"

"Adventurers: Saving the Multiverse since 001"

"That's my Caster Level, not my License Plate."
Nessaj
11-19-06, 03:58 PM Little :bump:

Wanna see what else people come up with :P
Thane26425
11-19-06, 08:27 PM "I brake for Succubi"

"You can have my Staff of Power when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers"

"Honk again and you'll be driving a Shriner mobile"
astatine
11-19-06, 11:54 PM "Lead, follow, or shin up a rope trick"

"Shatter Happens"

"If you can read this, I forgot to prepare synchronicity this morning"

"Insured by contingent greater teleport"

Good gags are getting a bit thin on the ground.
cog_n_taz
11-20-06, 04:28 AM otiluke's resilient car, so don't bother crashing my car.

"Hey, you look familiar"

Evocation: only good for real air guitars.

Did you see the invisible car parked in front of you? Yeah, that one.

I need to lightning bolt

I nicked mordenkainen's magnificient car

hey, your car has a flaming enchantment.

Ironwood-giving the term"green car" a whole new meaning.

you know what happened to the last guy who tried to run me over? iron body, guess who I'm driving now?

say, this inspired me to get sepia snake sigil as a tattoo for my character...
Dracomortis
11-20-06, 03:39 PM "And God said 'Let there be light", and he did useth his last cantrip for the day."
blacktechknight
11-20-06, 05:14 PM Horn Replaced With "Prismatic Spray".

My trunk and steering wheel are trapped.

Be carefull, I've got a Wheel of "Spell-turning".

Don't make me Web your ass.

Whenever I have lubrication problems, I cast "Grease".
Endarire
11-20-06, 05:52 PM I don't have road rage; I'm an evoker!
Guess what spell I'm holding as my readied action.
If you can read this, you've triggered a dominate monster.
Why don't I worship gods? No sense in supporting future rivals.
If you can read this, you're in my blast radius. If you can't, you still probably are.
If you can read this, power word blind!
Wizards do it with more variety.
Knowledge is power; stay out of my way!
Don't make me waste my slots on you!

-EE
leather_book_wizard
11-20-06, 06:03 PM I'm buying a car with an insanely large bumper so I can put all of these on it.Keep up the good work!
leather_book_wizard
11-20-06, 06:06 PM " Wizards: The grown men who cry when you burn their books."
Archangel62
11-20-06, 06:07 PM Electricity Elementalists do it with less resistance
Keep honking, I'm rememorizing
leather_book_wizard
11-20-06, 06:12 PM " Power Word Blind : The one word spell that takes 7 pages to write."

" Someone who can point at you and say'DIE!' has the distinct advantage in a fight.Remember that the next time you call me a bookworm."
SageBahamut
11-20-06, 06:45 PM "This is my BOOM STICK!" (picture of Staff of the Magi in an upraised hand)

"It is a scroll in my robe, but thank you for asking."

"Warning: Tailgating reduces your touch AC."

"If you can read this, you've already read my Explosive Runes."

"This car is actually a Rust Monster. Don't make me dismiss the polymorph."

"Mordenkainen for President!"

"Vecna - When the lesser of two evils just won't do."
Crystal Monk
11-20-06, 08:41 PM "It is a scroll in my robe, but thank you for asking."
or: "Nope, that's not a wand, I'm just happy to be here!"

"Fireballs don't solve everything, but they sure make me feel better."

"Diviners like to watch."

"Transmuter parking only - all others will be toad."
blackjackg
11-20-06, 08:55 PM "If you can read this, you're in range."
"Wizards do it by the book."
"Want to see what my Horse familiar grants me?"
"My other car is an Aparatus of the Kwalish."
...and let's not forget the Conjuration (creation) fish...
Nessaj
11-20-06, 10:10 PM "Want to see what my Horse familiar grants me?"

:evillaugh Nice.
Wonton2006
11-20-06, 10:36 PM "Magic doesn't kill people. I kill people."

Though that's more of a Fighter bumper sticker...
cog_n_taz
11-21-06, 08:23 AM "My exhaust pipe is a changestaff"

"my exhaust is a cloudkill spell."

"turn off that stionking cloud! Oh, wait...sorry."

"If you crash into my new car, I'm gonna have a good long talk with you. Don't cast comprehend languages, you'll only regret it."

"I just cast contact other plane, and pelor, asmodeus,nerull and the far plane think you suck."

(not necessarily arcane, but this needed to be done, sorry) "Illithids go F'tahgn!"

" I just looked at your car, please cast invisibility"

"expeditious retreat, love it or crash."

"beware: fire traps ahead."

"Elminster onboard."

"I demand my freedom of movement!"

"wow, who cast giant vermin on you?"

"magic missile, going pewpew since 562BC"

"I had no idea cars were so easy to make, until I cast minor creation".

"Driving under the influence of prismatic beer"

"magic stoned..hic!"

"you better cast feather fall right NOW"

"wow, your car is an awesome phantasmal killer... wait a minute."

"the car in front of you is an illusion, the one ahead of it is not"

"repel metal and stone, isn't it so nice when congestion avoids you?"
(course, no one will be around to read it)

"I have a secret chest, right under my covert neck and above the incognito stomach"

"you call that sound burst music?"

"sunburst, keeping the undead off the road since longer than I can remember."

"wow, you look wierd"
User5127
11-21-06, 06:04 PM "Clerics prefer it missionary"

"Warmages do it with Flare"

"Healers do it by touch"

"Paladins prefer the mount"

"Raptorans do it while they're high"

"Orcs prefer top grunt"

ok, i feel dirty now. LOL
leather_book_wizard
11-21-06, 06:32 PM These are supposed to be ARCANE bumperstickers.
maxxrox
11-21-06, 07:48 PM Ha! These are hilarious! If this were a site that did reputation, I'd give it to each one of you!
Crystal Monk
11-21-06, 08:47 PM " I just looked at your car, please cast invisibility"

"expeditious retreat, love it or crash."

"wow, who cast giant vermin on you?"

"Driving under the influence of prismatic beer"

"magic stoned..hic!"

"the car in front of you is an illusion, the one ahead of it is not"

"I have a secret chest, right under my covert neck and above the incognito stomach"
those are hilarious. you, sir/ma'am/both/neither, get a :cookie:
User5127
11-21-06, 11:30 PM These are supposed to be ARCANE bumperstickers.

I did have an "arcance" one in there.

the warmage one.

but I got carried away with the others.
Crystal Monk
11-21-06, 11:48 PM "Warmage: We do more damage in our sleep than most wizards do before breakfast."
(play on the "we do more damage before breakfast than most people do all day" line.)

I'm a Warlock - What's YOUR excuse?

"Blue Mage: (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=137596) anything you can do, I can do better, about six seconds later."
JasonOrlandoHawk
11-21-06, 11:52 PM "That's my Caster Level, not my License Plate."

:rofl:

"I just cast Teleport on the party Rogue. Guess who's in your backseat."
cog_n_taz
11-22-06, 05:39 AM Thank you:) *hug*

My first cookie... Bummer, ate it.
tarbrush
11-22-06, 09:11 AM Cthulu 2008

Why vote for the lesser evil?
cog_n_taz
11-23-06, 10:46 AM "Warmages go pew":P

"I'd just stop your car, but for some reason, hold person isn't working on you."

"my other car is vorpal"

"My chaffeur is a delayed blast fireball he's just been teleported to your car."

"this car insured by contingent raise dead"

"By chatting on your contact other plane while driving, you risk imprisonment!"

"At first I thought you cast repulsion on yourself, but when mordenkainen's disjunction didn't work, I thought you ought to know."
nephsytis
11-23-06, 12:01 PM "i've just identified 20 minor objects - dare me to drive?"

"Bigby: don't make me use my pimp hand"

"horn broken, watch for finger of death"

"dont panic, driver is Unseen Servant"
nephsytis
11-23-06, 12:12 PM "tailgating makes it harder to see me drop the animated caltrops"

"watch for trees. that token i dropped was not an airfreshener"

this ones more divine: "do not overtake an undead turning vehicle"

"warning objects in the mirror are more animate than they appear"

"i'm a bard and i vote"
Ogre4Hire
11-24-06, 02:33 AM "It's not road rage, it's Tensor's Transformation"

"Delayed Blast Fireball in 3, 2..."

"Horn of Blasting broken, watch for Bigby's Crushing Hand"

"My Blink Dog is smarter than your apprentice"

"Guess who just summoned an Invisible Stalker?"
Kimokeo
11-24-06, 11:55 AM It's not the only thing I can do 4 times a day.
Scry this!
Magical chastity belts require Greater Spell Penetration.
Beer: the reason I brew potions
My wife hates Quicken, loves Heighten, and I prefer Still Silent.
It's not graffiti, it's an arcane mark, officer.
I worked for Congress as a Secret Page
Witchcraft
11-24-06, 12:28 PM If you taligate me I will teach you the diffrence between immunity and resistance.

This isnt my liscense plate number, it is my Spell Resistance.

This isnt my car, its a Major Image.

Be careful, I have casted Protection from Stupid Drivers.

My car is a golem.
Kimokeo
11-24-06, 04:29 PM Made you Blink.
Gentle Repose me : M.A.D.D.
My GPS system is a Discern Location Device
sicsemperjohn
11-24-06, 05:47 PM Sorcerors do it Spontaneously
cog_n_taz
11-27-06, 04:17 AM "epic level wizards, giving the phrase 'divine caster' a new meaning."

"don't you just love contingent congestions?"

"My other car is also vorpal."

"force missile mages: the source of all pewpew laser jokes."
SunTzuWarmaster
11-27-06, 12:46 PM Warmages: if you're gonna go, go all out

Wizards: the only "powerful" class that everyone protects

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Meshakhad 07-18-05, 12:31 AM	On the Psionics board, there is the Bumperstickers for Psionicists thread (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=419169), which is hilarious. Now, I shall create the Arcane Bumpersticker thread. Visit the psionic one for ideas. Of course, I get the best one of all... 1. I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.
He Who Lurks 07-18-05, 01:25 AM	"Horn Broken; Watch for Fireballs." "I Could Be Teleporting Right Now..." "I'm an Enchanter, You Don't Need to See My License and Registration." "My Other Transportation is a Magic Carpet." (Broom works, too) "I've Never Had an Accident, Thanks to Foresight." "Proud Parent of a Mordenkainen's Magical Academy Honor Student."
NeueRegel 07-18-05, 01:44 AM	"Proud Parent of a Mordenkainen's Magical Academy Honor Student." "My student feebleminded your honor student"
Vanigo 07-18-05, 02:36 AM	"There are 3 kinds of people in the world: People who can cast similacrum, and people who can't"
Link182 07-18-05, 03:03 AM	just off the top of my head... Vehicle Insured by The Sword of Kas My Other Car is Baba Yaga's Hut If you don't like the way I drive, cast fly. I don't have the Hand of Vecna, just the middle finger (pic of skeletal hand giving the bird) or Bigby's Middle Finger (same pic) Honk all you want, this car is Protected from Evil. Geas, Grass or As$, nobody rides for free. Do not tailgate, this car is an iron golem. I just cast Call Nightmare, looks as if you've finally arrived. Do us all a favor, Feign Death. Projected Image. If your in such a hurry, stop tailgating and cast haste. You didn't see me speeding. It was my Clone. Hop in baby, I can turn part of my flesh to stone You Wish Come closer honey and see my Magic Missle. If you can read this, you can Read Magic. If this van is rockin, don't come a Knockin.
Rulebook 07-18-05, 03:12 AM	Ellminster for President Silly rogue, wands are for wizards! Failed Polymorph Attempt My other car is a rug Prestidigitation: Keeping that new car smell since 586
Manyfist 07-18-05, 03:26 AM	Melf's Acid arrow, is not Milf Acid Arrow. :D I don't know if this is legal... but if it isn't I will take it off.
Link182 07-18-05, 03:40 AM	I just cast Clairaudience. Please, please stop singing. I just cast Clairvoyance. That shirt is horrible on you.
sabrewolf 07-18-05, 04:28 AM	How am i driving? Cast Message. Why the weels? My wings are healing... I wasnt speeding. I´ve cast Slow. Horn broken; Watch for Force Ram. Horn broken; Watch for Wail of the Banshee. Horn broken; Watch for Meteor Swarm. If you don´t like the way i drive, Teleport. Your horn still works; i´ve just cast Silence. Mind yourself; I CAN turn you into a newt.
Seeker95 07-18-05, 09:05 AM	Fireball an aberrant tarrasque for Pelor If you can read this (insert symbol of insanity, etc.) Vegetarian is an Orc word for "Bad Hunter" Pelor is my Co-Pilot
tarkin 07-18-05, 01:25 PM	So you know the difference between a Balor and a God? Neither does the Balor.
Pryrates 07-18-05, 01:41 PM	"Spellbook on board" "Quit casting and Drive" "My other vehicile is a Halruaan airship" "Black Mage for world domination" "Im Pro-unlife"
Meshakhad 07-18-05, 07:01 PM	Horn broken, listen for shout This car is an Animated Object
Chade Fallstar 07-18-05, 08:02 PM	Warning: This vehicle equiped with prismatic walls... My car doesn't leak, I just hate you. (grease) Watch for speedbumps. (Dig) Watch for ice on road. Watch for high winds. Turn ahead. (Illusion, either way) Stop complaining or those bugs won't be bugs. Watch for stationary rock. (enlarge) My other car is a :dragon: Caution (insert summon here) crossing.
Luminous Crayon 07-18-05, 08:53 PM	[In Draconic, or other setting-appropriate language of magic and scholarly learning:] "If you can read this, thank a wizardry teacher."
Seeker95 07-19-05, 08:33 AM	Stop Dumbledor Potter is a Fraud Voldemort was Framed Hug a Muggle
digoraccoon 07-19-05, 08:53 AM	"+3 Jalopy of Holding." "I'd rather be gaming." "My other ride is a 52HD dragon."
Someone 07-19-05, 01:58 PM	This car climbed Mt. Celestia. This car drove the Great Circle. Got metamagic? Warning: this vehicle makes sudden stops, starts, turns, and fireballs. I brake for dragons. Caution: loose nut behind wheel.
Seeker95 07-19-05, 02:16 PM	Manoeverability: Poor Thank the Gods for Hardness! It may not be a broom, but it runs. Hogwarts Alumnus Hogwarts Mom My son and my money go to Hogwarts I'd rather be in Greyhawk
Meshakhad 08-18-05, 01:39 PM	Made in Thay/Halruaa Slow down Gear shift? Ha! I have plane shift!
Jaaz 08-18-05, 02:30 PM	What plane's in your engine? My high beams are Scorching Rays. I would be going faster, but the universe made Haste suck. Ethereal vehicles; relieving traffic since 695. Warning: Muffler Shot. Frequent Explosive Spells. My Dilbert Rocket's a Meteor Swarm. If you want a flying car, honk again. (Reverse Gravity) This road brought to you by my student's Move Earth. Warning: Angry Battle Sorcerer on board.
havershame_swordflinger 08-18-05, 02:52 PM	Warning: This car is displaced
Pryrates 08-18-05, 02:58 PM	Mystra protect me from your followers Azuth is my copilot Gods bless Halruaa New car + rust monster = This car
Faragon 08-18-05, 03:05 PM	Of course, I get the best one of all... 1. I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.Only because you've stolen it from Order of the Stick (http://www.giantitp.com/cgi-bin/GiantITP/ootscript?SK=92). :P
Seeker95 08-18-05, 04:03 PM	Only because you've stolen it from Order of the Stick (http://www.giantitp.com/cgi-bin/GiantITP/ootscript?SK=92). :PIt's not best because he stole it. He stole it because it's best.
Vaalingrade Ashland 08-18-05, 04:21 PM	I can cast lightning bolt six times a day. Just honk one more time. Turn off your highbeams or I'll drop an incendary cloud on you.
The_EvilDungeon_Master 08-18-05, 04:37 PM	"There are 3 kinds of people in the world: People who can cast similacrum, and people who can't" :rofl: :heehee :dancin: THAT IS AWESOME. Or maybe only I'm amused by it..
Rhadamanthus 08-18-05, 07:49 PM	"Do us all a favor: Alter Self." "Polymorph into a toad. Your looks will improve." "I'm one Dimension Door away from ramming your tailpipe." "Was that a Stinking Cloud or was that just you?" "I ate Mordenkainen." "Like my driving? Flying? Burrowing? Climbing?"
NinjaE 08-19-05, 11:03 AM	Bumper of the ram installed. Please keep your distance, in the event that this vehicle sprouts wings and needs a runway.
Meshakhad 10-01-05, 03:43 PM	This car visited the Plane of Shadow, and all it got was this lousy bumpersticker.
Link182 10-01-05, 10:10 PM	A picture of that "Jesus Fish" thing that's half man/half fish with Polymorph written underneath.
Psychoticpsymon 10-01-05, 10:32 PM	"There are 3 kinds of people in the world: People who can cast similacrum, and people who can't":rofl: :heehee :dancin: THAT IS AWESOME. Or maybe only I'm amused by it.. It was the best one! Uhhhh, Warning: This car was forged with a ring of blinking in the frame.
Kullak-Kobold Sorcerer 10-01-05, 10:43 PM	Stop honking at me. I am double moving as fast as I can.
Vanigo 10-01-05, 10:48 PM	Go ahead and tailgate - that way you're in Close range.
Taeldrin Laesrash 10-01-05, 11:00 PM	"Boccob loves you." This is based of a Darwinist sticker I once found.
Meshakhad 12-03-05, 01:13 PM	bump
Oliver D'Argent 12-03-05, 01:47 PM	"Did someone cast Feeblemind on you, or are you just stupid?" "I can't remember if I've cast Lightning Bolt 5 times today or 6, so you should ask yourself, punk, 'Do I feel lucky?'"
Incognito2me 12-03-05, 03:17 PM	"If you can read this, my incendiary cloud has already melted your bonnet" "Warning: This vehicle has a strong ego and it doesn't like being crowded"
Chaostic 12-03-05, 09:39 PM	"Don't look now, but you're being flanked."
The Game 12-04-05, 09:10 AM	"Dark Mages: Putting the Romance back in Necromance" "Disguise Self: Helping ugly people get laid since 540"
Xandore 12-04-05, 09:38 AM	You're Flanked :schemes: I Make Sneak Attacks :devil: If You Want to Drive So Slow Go Ethereal :rant:
SabianDeMarco 12-04-05, 10:53 AM	This Vehicle is Protected by Sepia Snake Security Systems
Rakasha#5 01-08-06, 07:30 PM	"Did someone cast Feeblemind on you, or are you just stupid?" "I can't remember if I've cast Lightning Bolt 5 times today or 6, so you should ask yourself, punk, 'Do I feel lucky?'" I think its actually "I know what you're thinkin, did he cast lightning bolt 6 times or only 5, well in all this excitement I kinda forgot myself, but since this is a maxized lightning bolt the most powerful lightning bolt in the world and would blow you're head CLEAN off, you should ask yourself, "do I feel lucky"...well do you, punk?
Crystal Monk 11-17-06, 08:43 PM	"Don't follow me, I'm under a Geas." "My familiar is smarter than your honor student." "Never play 'Whip It' near a Balor."
Salla 11-17-06, 08:54 PM	I brake for Time Stop (then again, who doesn't?) Bigby's Pimpslappin' Hand
User5127 11-17-06, 11:06 PM	well i do have dnd bumper stickers. "Don't make me roll for inittiative" "I survived the tomb of horrors" but yea.. i like these ones to.
IrishRover 11-17-06, 11:08 PM	Marilith on Board Psion-Ick
Wonton2006 11-17-06, 11:26 PM	In Ignan, or some other language no one knows: "If u can read this @ 50K, thank permanent Comprehend Languages."
isaac anthony 11-18-06, 02:18 AM	"There are 3 kinds of people in the world: People who can cast similacrum, and people who can't" ROFL!!@1@$#!%$!!
Dracomortis 11-18-06, 01:06 PM	"Reading this provokes an attack of opportunity."
quigsworth 11-18-06, 03:45 PM	"I played D&D before it was cool" (One of my friends actually has this on on his truck:D )
Eyeohn 11-18-06, 08:23 PM	"Support the fine arts - Power Word Kill a sorcerer." "Im not getting my groove on, this is an otto's irresistable dance." "Darkvision, All lights are assumed green."
Nessaj 11-18-06, 09:58 PM	"Reading this provokes an attack of opportunity." "Darkvision, All lights are assumed green." "My honor student Feebleminded your honor student" I'd SO buy these! :clap: I may be forced to return to this thread again and again to update. Good stuff... "If you can read this, you've already entered my threatened squares" "Hoard Stealers: DARWINISM at it's finest" "Low on Gas? Bet you wish YOU took Eschew Materials..." "I brake for Walls of Force" "Warning: Tampering with May force a Reflex save for half." "What's a POLYMORPH, you ask? Honk again and I'll explain." "Arcane Thesis: ENERVATION" "Jesus was a Conjurer" "MY Dashboard Dog has 19 Outsider Hit Die..." "Babau on Board" "Adventurers: Saving the Multiverse since 001" "That's my Caster Level, not my License Plate."
Nessaj 11-19-06, 03:58 PM	Little :bump: Wanna see what else people come up with :P
Thane26425 11-19-06, 08:27 PM	"I brake for Succubi" "You can have my Staff of Power when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers" "Honk again and you'll be driving a Shriner mobile"
astatine 11-19-06, 11:54 PM	"Lead, follow, or shin up a rope trick" "Shatter Happens" "If you can read this, I forgot to prepare synchronicity this morning" "Insured by contingent greater teleport" Good gags are getting a bit thin on the ground.
cog_n_taz 11-20-06, 04:28 AM	otiluke's resilient car, so don't bother crashing my car. "Hey, you look familiar" Evocation: only good for real air guitars. Did you see the invisible car parked in front of you? Yeah, that one. I need to lightning bolt I nicked mordenkainen's magnificient car hey, your car has a flaming enchantment. Ironwood-giving the term"green car" a whole new meaning. you know what happened to the last guy who tried to run me over? iron body, guess who I'm driving now? say, this inspired me to get sepia snake sigil as a tattoo for my character...
Dracomortis 11-20-06, 03:39 PM	"And God said 'Let there be light", and he did useth his last cantrip for the day."
blacktechknight 11-20-06, 05:14 PM	Horn Replaced With "Prismatic Spray". My trunk and steering wheel are trapped. Be carefull, I've got a Wheel of "Spell-turning". Don't make me Web your ass. Whenever I have lubrication problems, I cast "Grease".
Endarire 11-20-06, 05:52 PM	I don't have road rage; I'm an evoker! Guess what spell I'm holding as my readied action. If you can read this, you've triggered a dominate monster. Why don't I worship gods? No sense in supporting future rivals. If you can read this, you're in my blast radius. If you can't, you still probably are. If you can read this, power word blind! Wizards do it with more variety. Knowledge is power; stay out of my way! Don't make me waste my slots on you! -EE
leather_book_wizard 11-20-06, 06:03 PM	I'm buying a car with an insanely large bumper so I can put all of these on it.Keep up the good work!
leather_book_wizard 11-20-06, 06:06 PM	" Wizards: The grown men who cry when you burn their books."
Archangel62 11-20-06, 06:07 PM	Electricity Elementalists do it with less resistance Keep honking, I'm rememorizing
leather_book_wizard 11-20-06, 06:12 PM	" Power Word Blind : The one word spell that takes 7 pages to write." " Someone who can point at you and say'DIE!' has the distinct advantage in a fight.Remember that the next time you call me a bookworm."
SageBahamut 11-20-06, 06:45 PM	"This is my BOOM STICK!" (picture of Staff of the Magi in an upraised hand) "It is a scroll in my robe, but thank you for asking." "Warning: Tailgating reduces your touch AC." "If you can read this, you've already read my Explosive Runes." "This car is actually a Rust Monster. Don't make me dismiss the polymorph." "Mordenkainen for President!" "Vecna - When the lesser of two evils just won't do."
Crystal Monk 11-20-06, 08:41 PM	"It is a scroll in my robe, but thank you for asking." or: "Nope, that's not a wand, I'm just happy to be here!" "Fireballs don't solve everything, but they sure make me feel better." "Diviners like to watch." "Transmuter parking only - all others will be toad."
blackjackg 11-20-06, 08:55 PM	"If you can read this, you're in range." "Wizards do it by the book." "Want to see what my Horse familiar grants me?" "My other car is an Aparatus of the Kwalish." ...and let's not forget the Conjuration (creation) fish...
Nessaj 11-20-06, 10:10 PM	"Want to see what my Horse familiar grants me?" :evillaugh Nice.
Wonton2006 11-20-06, 10:36 PM	"Magic doesn't kill people. I kill people." Though that's more of a Fighter bumper sticker...
cog_n_taz 11-21-06, 08:23 AM	"My exhaust pipe is a changestaff" "my exhaust is a cloudkill spell." "turn off that stionking cloud! Oh, wait...sorry." "If you crash into my new car, I'm gonna have a good long talk with you. Don't cast comprehend languages, you'll only regret it." "I just cast contact other plane, and pelor, asmodeus,nerull and the far plane think you suck." (not necessarily arcane, but this needed to be done, sorry) "Illithids go F'tahgn!" " I just looked at your car, please cast invisibility" "expeditious retreat, love it or crash." "beware: fire traps ahead." "Elminster onboard." "I demand my freedom of movement!" "wow, who cast giant vermin on you?" "magic missile, going pewpew since 562BC" "I had no idea cars were so easy to make, until I cast minor creation". "Driving under the influence of prismatic beer" "magic stoned..hic!" "you better cast feather fall right NOW" "wow, your car is an awesome phantasmal killer... wait a minute." "the car in front of you is an illusion, the one ahead of it is not" "repel metal and stone, isn't it so nice when congestion avoids you?" (course, no one will be around to read it) "I have a secret chest, right under my covert neck and above the incognito stomach" "you call that sound burst music?" "sunburst, keeping the undead off the road since longer than I can remember." "wow, you look wierd"
User5127 11-21-06, 06:04 PM	"Clerics prefer it missionary" "Warmages do it with Flare" "Healers do it by touch" "Paladins prefer the mount" "Raptorans do it while they're high" "Orcs prefer top grunt" ok, i feel dirty now. LOL
leather_book_wizard 11-21-06, 06:32 PM	These are supposed to be ARCANE bumperstickers.
maxxrox 11-21-06, 07:48 PM	Ha! These are hilarious! If this were a site that did reputation, I'd give it to each one of you!
Crystal Monk 11-21-06, 08:47 PM	" I just looked at your car, please cast invisibility" "expeditious retreat, love it or crash." "wow, who cast giant vermin on you?" "Driving under the influence of prismatic beer" "magic stoned..hic!" "the car in front of you is an illusion, the one ahead of it is not" "I have a secret chest, right under my covert neck and above the incognito stomach" those are hilarious. you, sir/ma'am/both/neither, get a :cookie:
User5127 11-21-06, 11:30 PM	These are supposed to be ARCANE bumperstickers. I did have an "arcance" one in there. the warmage one. but I got carried away with the others.
Crystal Monk 11-21-06, 11:48 PM	"Warmage: We do more damage in our sleep than most wizards do before breakfast." (play on the "we do more damage before breakfast than most people do all day" line.) I'm a Warlock - What's YOUR excuse? "Blue Mage: (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=137596) anything you can do, I can do better, about six seconds later."
JasonOrlandoHawk 11-21-06, 11:52 PM	"That's my Caster Level, not my License Plate." :rofl: "I just cast Teleport on the party Rogue. Guess who's in your backseat."
cog_n_taz 11-22-06, 05:39 AM	Thank you:) hug My first cookie... Bummer, ate it.
tarbrush 11-22-06, 09:11 AM	Cthulu 2008 Why vote for the lesser evil?
cog_n_taz 11-23-06, 10:46 AM	"Warmages go pew":P "I'd just stop your car, but for some reason, hold person isn't working on you." "my other car is vorpal" "My chaffeur is a delayed blast fireball he's just been teleported to your car." "this car insured by contingent raise dead" "By chatting on your contact other plane while driving, you risk imprisonment!" "At first I thought you cast repulsion on yourself, but when mordenkainen's disjunction didn't work, I thought you ought to know."
nephsytis 11-23-06, 12:01 PM	"i've just identified 20 minor objects - dare me to drive?" "Bigby: don't make me use my pimp hand" "horn broken, watch for finger of death" "dont panic, driver is Unseen Servant"
nephsytis 11-23-06, 12:12 PM	"tailgating makes it harder to see me drop the animated caltrops" "watch for trees. that token i dropped was not an airfreshener" this ones more divine: "do not overtake an undead turning vehicle" "warning objects in the mirror are more animate than they appear" "i'm a bard and i vote"
Ogre4Hire 11-24-06, 02:33 AM	"It's not road rage, it's Tensor's Transformation" "Delayed Blast Fireball in 3, 2..." "Horn of Blasting broken, watch for Bigby's Crushing Hand" "My Blink Dog is smarter than your apprentice" "Guess who just summoned an Invisible Stalker?"
Kimokeo 11-24-06, 11:55 AM	It's not the only thing I can do 4 times a day. Scry this! Magical chastity belts require Greater Spell Penetration. Beer: the reason I brew potions My wife hates Quicken, loves Heighten, and I prefer Still Silent. It's not graffiti, it's an arcane mark, officer. I worked for Congress as a Secret Page
Witchcraft 11-24-06, 12:28 PM	If you taligate me I will teach you the diffrence between immunity and resistance. This isnt my liscense plate number, it is my Spell Resistance. This isnt my car, its a Major Image. Be careful, I have casted Protection from Stupid Drivers. My car is a golem.
Kimokeo 11-24-06, 04:29 PM	Made you Blink. Gentle Repose me : M.A.D.D. My GPS system is a Discern Location Device
sicsemperjohn 11-24-06, 05:47 PM	Sorcerors do it Spontaneously
cog_n_taz 11-27-06, 04:17 AM	"epic level wizards, giving the phrase 'divine caster' a new meaning." "don't you just love contingent congestions?" "My other car is also vorpal." "force missile mages: the source of all pewpew laser jokes."
SunTzuWarmaster 11-27-06, 12:46 PM	Warmages: if you're gonna go, go all out Wizards: the only "powerful" class that everyone protects