American Template [Archive] - Wizards Community

American Template [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
GFC_Seracule
11-06-05, 07:13 PM I saw the British and French templates, so I decided to make an american template. If anyone has any more ideas, feel free to post them.

American Template:

Can be added to any humanoid, the type changes to Monstrous Humanoid

-2 int, -4 cha, -2str americans are fat and stupid

Overactive Aggression: Americans like to blow stuff up, and once a year during hunting season all adult male Americans must make a dc 20 will save or go into the woods and kill any cute little animal that moves. If an American gets his hands on WMD, he will do use them on the next country that does anything to America, and many that don't do anything

Bad Drivers: Americans are notoriously bad drivers. -10 on all ride checks.

Repulicans: All republicans must make a dc 25 will save whenever something bad happens to america, or be stunned for the next 1d4 hours (stole this from somone on the British template (think, might have been french)(it was Balor von Balorvitch), but then, americans are like that)

Demacrats(I am one): All demacrats must make a dc 25 will save whenever the Republicans do something stupid to america or spend the next 1d4 hours griping about the Bush Administration (I also stole this from someone but I don't remember who it was, feel free to say it was you if it was)

Love it or leave it!(Ex.)Once per day an American in NY can say this line and any nay sayer must make a dc 20 will save and buy an 'I Luv NY' t-shirt or leave the country

Oil Weakness: If an American spots large amounts of oil he must succeed on a dc 10+1per ton of oil or take it buy any means possible

Everybody Loves America!:-2 reaction to any other culture besides america

Rules of War: All americans are immune to the effects of the geneva conventation but expect others to follow it

Global Village idiot: All americans suffer a -4 to Knowledge(the rest of the world)

Cultural Empirialism: Anyone with the American Template can forcably make any non-American aquirre the American Template. The DC to resist the effect depends on the methods employed see table below.

Base DC to resist Americanization is 15
the subject is exposed to McDonalds or Starbucks +2 to DC
the subject is exposed to a Hollywood movie (which is usually a foriegn movie that was successful then Americanized by Hollywood) +2 to DC
the subject has been exposed to American Television +2 to DC +6 if ita a crappy reality T.V show
the subject is bombed senseless for the purposes of bringing Democracy to them +10 to the DC.
The subject lives in a nation that Americans can find on a map +4 to DC.

I didn't mean to offend anyone, and after all, I am an american. :D

PS: I feel sad for our country :weep:
homey188
11-06-05, 07:36 PM :rofl::rofl::rofl::bow::heehee

thats hilarious, especially the overactive aggression.funny but sad, i know many people who fit this description perfectly
Balor von Balorvitch
11-06-05, 08:44 PM Glad it wasn't me but add these in!

Love it or leave it!: (Ex) 1/day when in america a person with this template may say this line and any na sayer must suceed a DC: 20 will save, if falied they must buy i Luv NY shirt or flee the country.

Oil Weakness: If an american spots large amounts of oil he must succed a will save 10 +1 per ton of oil or take it by any means

Everyone loves America!: -2 reaction to any other culture besides america

Rules of War: All americans are immune to the effects of the geneva conventation but expect others to follow it

Global Village idiot: All americans suffer a -4 to Knowledge(the rest of the world)

and it was me who thought up the stuned rule

All in good fun eh? btw i would invite any to to do a candian one but we usually are not important enough to have one lol
Yoho1.5
11-06-05, 08:58 PM delete
Balor von Balorvitch
11-06-05, 09:03 PM Base DC to resist Americanization is 15
the subject is exposed to McDonalds or Starbucks +2 to DC
the subject is exposed to a Hollywood movie (which is usually a foriegn movie that was successful then Americanized by Hollywood) +2 to DC
the subject has been exposed to American Television +2 to DC +6 if ita a crappy reality T.V show
the subject is bombed senseless for the purposes of bringing Democracy to them +10 to the DC.
The subject lives in a nation that Americans can find on a map +4 to DC.

damn i guess us candians are screwed :( thats dc 29 (luckly we are not bombed...... yet!) LOL
tiluvias99
11-06-05, 09:03 PM throw in triple starting gold and free proficiency in firearms.
Balor von Balorvitch
11-06-05, 09:05 PM throw in triple starting gold and free proficiency in firearms.

Only if the opponet has to be saturate bombed before they will use firearms LOL
Dungeons & Donuts
11-06-05, 09:14 PM dang, already THREE cultural templates! American, French, and British! I'm gonna start an australian template. KRAEKE!!! ;)
Yoho1.5
11-06-05, 09:15 PM delete
The Vorpal Tribble
11-06-05, 09:26 PM Wow, ya'll must be right. Everytime Balor von Balorvich posts I have this urge to blow him up.
Tyler Do'Urden
11-06-05, 09:30 PM DEPRESSING!!!
The Vorpal Tribble
11-06-05, 09:44 PM The thing is, the others were in good fun. This quickly became political and mean spirited, with such things as 'they ain't bombed us... YET! But they will soon!'
Yoho1.5
11-06-05, 09:51 PM delete
The Vorpal Tribble
11-06-05, 09:55 PM Thats on par with calling americans fat and lazy which IS just in good fun. It didn't turn political.

But see, most of ya'll are getting in on the American thread out of a revenge than in an attempt to be humorous.
General_Ridley
11-06-05, 09:57 PM Funny enough, none of this matches me.

Except the democrats part.
Yoho1.5
11-06-05, 10:09 PM All the cowardly remarks on the French thread where political... how soon you people forget your freedom fries! this whole thing, and threads like it, was ultra taboo from the start, I usually stay clear of this stuff but I got trapped joking along with Balor. The few things I've learn from all of this is that Amercans can poke fun at themselves but no one else dare try, and the Canadian sense of humour must be different, politcal satire is very much part of the humour, we have more political satire shows than I can count. that said I respectfully withdraw my threads.
Nature_King
11-06-05, 10:19 PM labels are everything: Americans will buy anything that has to do with a Label of clothing and will have to make a DC 15 Will :D

U.K.
obrysii
11-06-05, 10:23 PM Try using a word processor to type out and format things.

Right now, it's hardly readable.
The Vorpal Tribble
11-06-05, 10:25 PM politcal satire is very much part of the humour, we have more political satire shows than I can count.
I'm all for political satire. Its just against the rules here.
caeruleus
11-07-05, 12:24 AM damn i guess us candians are screwed :( thats dc 29 (luckly we are not bombed...... yet!) LOL

That just comes with the Canadian template, along with this one:

Complain about American beer: Any time a Canadian drinks an American beer s/he must succeed at a DC 20 Will save, or feel compelled to complain aboot (spelled that way on purpose ;)) how you can't get drunk on American beer, eh? (Yes, it's said like a question.)

We don't make the best beer in the world, but we pride ourselves on anything we do better than the Americans. Kinda like the kid brother who always feels inferior.
malykoth
11-07-05, 01:20 AM The few things I've learn from all of this is that Amercans can poke fun at themselves but no one else dare try, and the Canadian sense of humour must be different, politcal satire is very much part of the humour, we have more political satire shows than I can count. that said I respectfully withdraw my threads.
Wow...you can sum up the basic attitude of 300,000,000 people from the comments of, what...four or five of them? You really should put that amazing brain of yours to work fixing the problems of the world, mate... (please don't take offense...I was just kidding!!)
;)

Edit: By the way, this is the very reason threads like this really aren't that good an idea. Sure, it seems like fun and games at first, until someone get's hurt...then it's just fun! :D

Still...these threads are proving to have an unprecedented lifespan...how much longer? :confused:
WolfHati
11-07-05, 02:32 AM We also need Immunity: logic and a +10 to all diplomacy DCs when using diplomacy on an American templated creature.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
GFC_Seracule 11-06-05, 07:13 PM	I saw the British and French templates, so I decided to make an american template. If anyone has any more ideas, feel free to post them. American Template: Can be added to any humanoid, the type changes to Monstrous Humanoid -2 int, -4 cha, -2str americans are fat and stupid Overactive Aggression: Americans like to blow stuff up, and once a year during hunting season all adult male Americans must make a dc 20 will save or go into the woods and kill any cute little animal that moves. If an American gets his hands on WMD, he will do use them on the next country that does anything to America, and many that don't do anything Bad Drivers: Americans are notoriously bad drivers. -10 on all ride checks. Repulicans: All republicans must make a dc 25 will save whenever something bad happens to america, or be stunned for the next 1d4 hours (stole this from somone on the British template (think, might have been french)(it was Balor von Balorvitch), but then, americans are like that) Demacrats(I am one): All demacrats must make a dc 25 will save whenever the Republicans do something stupid to america or spend the next 1d4 hours griping about the Bush Administration (I also stole this from someone but I don't remember who it was, feel free to say it was you if it was) Love it or leave it!(Ex.)Once per day an American in NY can say this line and any nay sayer must make a dc 20 will save and buy an 'I Luv NY' t-shirt or leave the country Oil Weakness: If an American spots large amounts of oil he must succeed on a dc 10+1per ton of oil or take it buy any means possible Everybody Loves America!:-2 reaction to any other culture besides america Rules of War: All americans are immune to the effects of the geneva conventation but expect others to follow it Global Village idiot: All americans suffer a -4 to Knowledge(the rest of the world) Cultural Empirialism: Anyone with the American Template can forcably make any non-American aquirre the American Template. The DC to resist the effect depends on the methods employed see table below. Base DC to resist Americanization is 15 the subject is exposed to McDonalds or Starbucks +2 to DC the subject is exposed to a Hollywood movie (which is usually a foriegn movie that was successful then Americanized by Hollywood) +2 to DC the subject has been exposed to American Television +2 to DC +6 if ita a crappy reality T.V show the subject is bombed senseless for the purposes of bringing Democracy to them +10 to the DC. The subject lives in a nation that Americans can find on a map +4 to DC. I didn't mean to offend anyone, and after all, I am an american. :D PS: I feel sad for our country :weep:
homey188 11-06-05, 07:36 PM	:rofl::rofl::rofl::bow::heehee thats hilarious, especially the overactive aggression.funny but sad, i know many people who fit this description perfectly
Balor von Balorvitch 11-06-05, 08:44 PM	Glad it wasn't me but add these in! Love it or leave it!: (Ex) 1/day when in america a person with this template may say this line and any na sayer must suceed a DC: 20 will save, if falied they must buy i Luv NY shirt or flee the country. Oil Weakness: If an american spots large amounts of oil he must succed a will save 10 +1 per ton of oil or take it by any means Everyone loves America!: -2 reaction to any other culture besides america Rules of War: All americans are immune to the effects of the geneva conventation but expect others to follow it Global Village idiot: All americans suffer a -4 to Knowledge(the rest of the world) and it was me who thought up the stuned rule All in good fun eh? btw i would invite any to to do a candian one but we usually are not important enough to have one lol
Yoho1.5 11-06-05, 08:58 PM	delete
Balor von Balorvitch 11-06-05, 09:03 PM	Base DC to resist Americanization is 15 the subject is exposed to McDonalds or Starbucks +2 to DC the subject is exposed to a Hollywood movie (which is usually a foriegn movie that was successful then Americanized by Hollywood) +2 to DC the subject has been exposed to American Television +2 to DC +6 if ita a crappy reality T.V show the subject is bombed senseless for the purposes of bringing Democracy to them +10 to the DC. The subject lives in a nation that Americans can find on a map +4 to DC. damn i guess us candians are screwed :( thats dc 29 (luckly we are not bombed...... yet!) LOL
tiluvias99 11-06-05, 09:03 PM	throw in triple starting gold and free proficiency in firearms.
Balor von Balorvitch 11-06-05, 09:05 PM	throw in triple starting gold and free proficiency in firearms. Only if the opponet has to be saturate bombed before they will use firearms LOL
Dungeons & Donuts 11-06-05, 09:14 PM	dang, already THREE cultural templates! American, French, and British! I'm gonna start an australian template. KRAEKE!!! ;)
Yoho1.5 11-06-05, 09:15 PM	delete
The Vorpal Tribble 11-06-05, 09:26 PM	Wow, ya'll must be right. Everytime Balor von Balorvich posts I have this urge to blow him up.
Tyler Do'Urden 11-06-05, 09:30 PM	DEPRESSING!!!
The Vorpal Tribble 11-06-05, 09:44 PM	The thing is, the others were in good fun. This quickly became political and mean spirited, with such things as 'they ain't bombed us... YET! But they will soon!'
Yoho1.5 11-06-05, 09:51 PM	delete
The Vorpal Tribble 11-06-05, 09:55 PM	Thats on par with calling americans fat and lazy which IS just in good fun. It didn't turn political. But see, most of ya'll are getting in on the American thread out of a revenge than in an attempt to be humorous.
General_Ridley 11-06-05, 09:57 PM	Funny enough, none of this matches me. Except the democrats part.
Yoho1.5 11-06-05, 10:09 PM	All the cowardly remarks on the French thread where political... how soon you people forget your freedom fries! this whole thing, and threads like it, was ultra taboo from the start, I usually stay clear of this stuff but I got trapped joking along with Balor. The few things I've learn from all of this is that Amercans can poke fun at themselves but no one else dare try, and the Canadian sense of humour must be different, politcal satire is very much part of the humour, we have more political satire shows than I can count. that said I respectfully withdraw my threads.
Nature_King 11-06-05, 10:19 PM	labels are everything: Americans will buy anything that has to do with a Label of clothing and will have to make a DC 15 Will :D U.K.
obrysii 11-06-05, 10:23 PM	Try using a word processor to type out and format things. Right now, it's hardly readable.
The Vorpal Tribble 11-06-05, 10:25 PM	politcal satire is very much part of the humour, we have more political satire shows than I can count. I'm all for political satire. Its just against the rules here.
caeruleus 11-07-05, 12:24 AM	damn i guess us candians are screwed :( thats dc 29 (luckly we are not bombed...... yet!) LOL That just comes with the Canadian template, along with this one: Complain about American beer: Any time a Canadian drinks an American beer s/he must succeed at a DC 20 Will save, or feel compelled to complain aboot (spelled that way on purpose ;)) how you can't get drunk on American beer, eh? (Yes, it's said like a question.) We don't make the best beer in the world, but we pride ourselves on anything we do better than the Americans. Kinda like the kid brother who always feels inferior.
malykoth 11-07-05, 01:20 AM	The few things I've learn from all of this is that Amercans can poke fun at themselves but no one else dare try, and the Canadian sense of humour must be different, politcal satire is very much part of the humour, we have more political satire shows than I can count. that said I respectfully withdraw my threads. Wow...you can sum up the basic attitude of 300,000,000 people from the comments of, what...four or five of them? You really should put that amazing brain of yours to work fixing the problems of the world, mate... (please don't take offense...I was just kidding!!) ;) Edit: By the way, this is the very reason threads like this really aren't that good an idea. Sure, it seems like fun and games at first, until someone get's hurt...then it's just fun! :D Still...these threads are proving to have an unprecedented lifespan...how much longer? :confused:
WolfHati 11-07-05, 02:32 AM	We also need Immunity: logic and a +10 to all diplomacy DCs when using diplomacy on an American templated creature.