| Post/Author/DateTime | Post |
|---|---|
| lagomorphia09-27-07, 03:51 PM | They look like large flightless birds, all of which are delicious. Is there anything about being an outsider that would prevent feasting on them? |
| V812209-27-07, 04:15 PM | ... I suppose not. The description of Outsider does not detail inedibility. However, being from the Archeron would likely give them a mettalic taste. |
| EvilVegan09-27-07, 04:21 PM | I've had fake achaierai (made out of tofu and wheat gluten). It was delicious. |
| AlanBruce09-27-07, 04:24 PM | You could certainly kill one and then proceed to fillet the guy and grill him, nothing stops you from doing it. Would they taste good or, perhaps, gods forbid, poison you??? That's up to th DM. Also, what's the general alignment in your party? Killing a sentient being (even an evil one) and eating it afterwards sounds pretty evil to me. |
| Nephlite09-27-07, 04:27 PM | You could certainly kill one and then proceed to fillet the guy and grill him, nothing stops you from doing it. Would they taste good or, perhaps, gods forbid, poison you??? That's up to th DM. Also, what's the general alignment in your party? Killing a sentient being (even an evil one) and eating it afterwards sounds pretty evil to me. People eat fish and birds. In D&D, unless you define sentient as more than 2 Int than everything sentient is already eaten. In real life Sentient includes birds. |
| V812209-27-07, 04:29 PM | You could certainly kill one and then proceed to fillet the guy and grill him, nothing stops you from doing it. Would they taste good or, perhaps, gods forbid, poison you??? That's up to th DM. Also, what's the general alignment in your party? Killing a sentient being (even an evil one) and eating it afterwards sounds pretty evil to me. :confused: Why? In several places, many years ago, eating a fallen warrior, even an enemy warrior, was supposed to honor the dead warrior. |
| AlanBruce09-27-07, 04:35 PM | Well, I meant to use "sentient" as in non-animal. Creatures like fish, chickens, or deer. Then again, why even bother... it's D&D and anything goes. I wonder if some raspberry sauce on top would kill the strong metallic flavor...:D |
| Darth Syntax09-27-07, 04:48 PM | The proper method of preparing achaierai is to first slice the meat into thin fillets or cutlets and then generously salt them so that the metallic flavors can be mostly leached out. Then the pieces should be rubbed with pungent herbs spices (I recommend a mix of fennel seed, sesame seeds, paprika, coriander, thyme, garlic, and red chillies) and then seared in a cast iron skillet. It goes nicely with a little sautéed chard and a white bean ragu with tarragon. |
| ArgulFraster09-27-07, 05:52 PM | I'm going to quote someone's sig and say this: "Anything's edible if you make the Fort save." I don't know, really. I'd say look at their abilities and use common sense. And don't eat the feet. You have no idea where they've been. |
| dman1123509-27-07, 06:11 PM | I say you'd have to be careful and cut out the organ that produces that poison cloud thing. Much like preparing blowfish. Otherwise I'd say that Darth Syntax's recipe sounds delicious. Although I'd try a different method than the salt bath. That will kill the flavor of the meat! Besides, who said that they taste metallic? Outsiders don't eat, so they can't take the flavor of what they eat. If anything, it'll taste lawful, and maybe with a hint of evil. Oh, and 750 pounds? That's going to provide with some nice left-overs for sandwiches the next day. |
| Xanaphia_Undomiel09-27-07, 06:41 PM | Just wondering, why do you ask? It's just a bit of a disturbing question. |
| dman1123509-27-07, 07:05 PM | Well, why haven't you? I'd like to know what they taste like. With their weight, they could end world hunger! I think I could make a good achaierai pasta with some sort of white sauce. Probably not alfredo, but more of a cream sauce, using the reduced juices from pan sauteeing the meat as a base. Add in some capers and freshly shredded parmesan (the really good stuff too, not the nasty never aged stuff) and that's a meal! Oh, and I must ask: what does the Blacky Monster taste like? |
| Xanaphia_Undomiel09-27-07, 07:27 PM | The blacky monster tastes like chicken, but it is less tender and it is very hard. It has 400 pounds of meat. In its head there is the organ that produces the magical arm effect. It tastes of almond mixed with mandarin. EDIT: I forgot to mention: The egg weighs 160 pounds, and tastes just like a normal chicken egg. It can be sold for 300 gp. |
| lagomorphia09-27-07, 08:27 PM | I say you'd have to be careful and cut out the organ that produces that poison cloud thing. That's actually one of the things I was wondering about. Not that it's entirely unheard of for people to purposely eat things that cause them to be temporarily insane. Thanks for clarifying that for me everyone, I really was not expecting recipes. Personally I like the idea of a nice achaierai parmigiana. As to how it came up, I'll be DMing for a party about to pass through an area with a people who follow herds of animals around for food and one of the party hates birds. |
| dman1123509-27-07, 10:32 PM | Just treat the giant four legged chicken like a blow fish and you're fine! Wait..... |
| Andorxor09-28-07, 03:44 AM | Eating a evil outsider? I wouldn't go near a paladin after that,atleast until the evil essence left your body. |
| EvilVegan09-28-07, 07:58 AM | Can I just add that black pudding is a delicious side dish for achaierai. |
| FrostWolf09-28-07, 09:59 AM | Mmmmm! Served cubed in a nice gravy over some long gain rice. Take Note: Prestadigitation has the ability to flavor things. Also, we should all work on a recipie book forr the various monster. Starting right from MM1 and going right down the line. Anyone interested? |
| mearrin6909-28-07, 10:17 AM | Achaierai is very tough. The method of preparation goes something like this. Cut the creature into fillets and place in a large calderon with the desired spices and a large branch freshly cut from a cedar tree. Boil for 18 hours, stirring continuously with the branch, until the lower portion of the branch is soft - then push the branch completely into the broth. Allow to simmer for another 6 hours. Then drain the broth and spices into pannekins for serving, discard the achaierai fillets, and eat the branch. NB: You must be careful to dispose of the achaierai meat out of the reach of children, pets, and wild animals. It should not be consumed directly. |
| DrakoShade09-28-07, 10:21 AM | You're making me want some grilled minotaur... preferably with a side of ochre jelly. |
| dman1123509-28-07, 03:55 PM | Mmmmm! Served cubed in a nice gravy over some long gain rice. Take Note: Prestadigitation has the ability to flavor things. Also, we should all work on a recipie book forr the various monster. Starting right from MM1 and going right down the line. Anyone interested? Second that suggestion! |
| EvilVegan09-28-07, 04:14 PM | Is it wrong of me to love a light vegepygmy/orcwort salad sprinkled with fresh fairy dust, with fried, breaded myconid babies as an entre? |
| dman1123509-28-07, 04:22 PM | Orcwort wouldn't make a good salad. And what would fairy dust do for flavor OR texture? So yes, it is wrong. Because it wouldn't taste like any thing. And I don't think friend myconids would be very appetizing either, but then again, I don't like mushrooms. Goatfolk milk ice cream. |
| EvilVegan09-28-07, 04:27 PM | Orcwort wouldn't make a good salad.You have to pickle the orc worts. Like olives.And what would fairy dust do for flavor OR texture?Nothing. It makes you insanely high.:ghosted: |
| dman1123509-28-07, 04:39 PM | Oh, you meant the fruit! And you don't pickle olives, you can (you can pickle anything) but they usually aren't. Where is vegepygmy? And still don't think it would make that great a salad. |
| Xanaphia_Undomiel09-28-07, 08:29 PM | Also, we should all work on a recipie book forr the various monster. Starting right from MM1 and going right down the line. Anyone interested? I will! Also, we should state the cost for the meats, and their rarity. |
| lagomorphia09-28-07, 09:10 PM | Price and rarity would likely vary widely by location. As far as a healthier way to cook myconid young (I guess the babies would be spores): Place enough olive oil to cover bottom of pan over medium-low heat until sizzling Place one myconid baby's head (cap I guess) into pan, covering with 1 part Sherry and 2 parts Marsala, cover for a few minutes until you notice a distinct texture change (should get softer within 3-4 minutes) Remove heat and serve, goes well with sauteed garlic asparagus or garlic mashed potatoes |
| ArgulFraster09-29-07, 12:31 AM | Well, my party has eaten Wyvern steak twice. We carefully removed the poison sacs and gave them to the druid, and ate the rest. It was quite good, cooked over an open fire by two dwarves with a talent for cooking. ...Despite that they had to forcibly restrain me from lighting the fire... :sulk: |
| EvilVegan09-29-07, 10:48 AM | Oh, you meant the fruit! And you don't pickle olives, you can (you can pickle anything) but they usually aren't. Where is vegepygmy? And still don't think it would make that great a salad. Vegepygmy was a 2nd edition creature. A humanoid completely converted to plant material by a mold/ooze. It's only because I don't eat meat. Gotta get it where I can. There aren't many "lettuce monsters" out there. Gelatinous cubes are good. They absorb flavors well and you can blend them in a smoothy or fry them in a stir fry. |
| EvilVegan09-29-07, 10:53 AM | As far as a healthier way to cook myconid young (I guess the babies would be spores): Place enough olive oil to cover bottom of pan over medium-low heat until sizzling Place one myconid baby's head (cap I guess) into pan, covering with 1 part Sherry and 2 parts Marsala, cover for a few minutes until you notice a distinct texture change (should get softer within 3-4 minutes) Remove heat and serve, goes well with sauteed garlic asparagus or garlic mashed potatoes :drool: Can we find sentient substitutes for potatoes and asparagus? Sentience just makes things taste so much better. |
| Holy_Beholder09-29-07, 11:18 AM | Maybe assassin vines and shambling mounds taste good. I would avoid aboleth though, that mucous doesn't sound very good. For archerai, you bake them whole in an oven at a low heat for hours, then garnish with assassin vines and shambling mound. You then use beholder eyes and darkmantle wings as a side dish. |
| dman1123509-29-07, 01:49 PM | So gelatinous cubes are Tofu? I don't think they are an adequate substitute. That acid would mess stuff up. If you could extract the acid, then you have a marketable industrial substance that can be used for mining, and then a Tofu substitute (wait, a substitute for a substitute!). |
| lagomorphia09-29-07, 01:59 PM | :drool: Can we find sentient substitutes for potatoes and asparagus? Sentience just makes things taste so much better. Asparagusithid Tiny Plant Hit Dice 1/2d10 (3hp) Initiative +2 Speed 40ft AC 14 (+2 size, +2 Dex), touch 14, flat-footed 12 Base Attack/Grapple: +0/-4 Attack: Slam +1 melee (1d3) Full Attack: Slam +1 melee (1d3) Space/Reach: 3-1/2ft/0ft Special Attacks: Improved Grab Special Qualities: Plant Traits, darkvision 60ft, low-light vision, Damage Reduction 3/slashing or butter covered, Bite Prone Saves: Fort +1, Ref +2, Will -1 Abilities: Str 10, Dex 14, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 8, Cha 8 Skills: +4 racial bonus to grapple checks, +4 racial bonus to hide checks among plantlife Environment: Fertile soil Organization: Group (4-5) or patch (30-40) Treasure: Yummy vegetable matter Alignment: Always neutral Language: Can understand but not speak Common, Can communicate with other Asparagusithids using their own language consisting largely of complex pheromones. CR1 Improved Grab: If an Asparagusithid hits a Tiny, Small, or Medium sized creature with its slam attack it can attempt a grapple as a free action with no attack of opportunity. If it succeeds it burrows its leafy end into the creature's head. If an Asparagusithid begins its turn attached it sucks part of that creature's brain out dealing 1d4 points of Int and 1d4 points of Wis damage. These points are temporarily added to the Asparagusithid's stats. Constructs, elementals, oozes, plants, and undead are immune to this effect. Any creature reduced to 0 Int or 0 Wis in this manner dies. Bite Prone: Any successful bite attacks are instantly lethal to Asparagusithids. Variant: White Asparagusithids are Asparagusithids that have grown in total darkness. Stats are same but are slightly sweeter and more tender. |
| dman1123509-29-07, 02:23 PM | Totally using this! They are not going to see an asparagus with class levels coming after them! Although it would probably be CR 1 even. |
| lagomorphia09-29-07, 02:34 PM | Point taken |
| lagomorphia09-29-07, 03:39 PM | Mashed Potato Elemental Small Elemental Hit Dice: 2d8+4 (13hp) Initiative: +0 Speed: 20ft AC: 18 (+1 size, +7 natural) Base Attack/Grapple: +1/-1 Attack: Slam +6 melee (1d6+3) (+1 fire if hot) Space/Reach: 5ft/5ft Special Qualities: Darkvision 60ft, elemental traits Saves: Fort +4, Ref +0, Will +0 Abilities: Str 16, Dex 10, Con 14, Int 4, Wis 11, Cha 11 Skills: Listen +2, Spot +3 Feats: Power Attack Environment: Elemental Plane of Mashed Potatoes Organization: Solitary CR1 Alignment: Usually neutral Advancement 3HD (Small) |
| ArgulFraster10-01-07, 02:58 PM | Maybe assassin vines and shambling mounds taste good. I would avoid aboleth though, that mucous doesn't sound very good. For archerai, you bake them whole in an oven at a low heat for hours, then garnish with assassin vines and shambling mound. You then use beholder eyes and darkmantle wings as a side dish. I took a bite of a tendriculos once. 'Twere nasty. So we (read: I) burnt it. Took most of the night, but as a bonus, no need for watch! I was a happy Felinian... |
| EvilVegan10-08-07, 10:32 AM | Asparagusithid Tiny Plant Hit Dice 1/2d10 (3hp) Initiative +2 Speed 40ft AC 14 (+2 size, +2 Dex), touch 14, flat-footed 12 Base Attack/Grapple: +0/-4 Attack: Slam +1 melee (1d3) Full Attack: Slam +1 melee (1d3) Space/Reach: 3-1/2ft/0ft Special Attacks: Improved Grab Special Qualities: Plant Traits, darkvision 60ft, low-light vision, Damage Reduction 3/slashing or butter covered, Bite Prone Saves: Fort +1, Ref +2, Will -1 Abilities: Str 10, Dex 14, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 8, Cha 8 Skills: +4 racial bonus to grapple checks, +4 racial bonus to hide checks among plantlife Environment: Fertile soil Organization: Group (4-5) or patch (30-40) Treasure: Yummy vegetable matter Alignment: Always neutral Language: Can understand but not speak Common, Can communicate with other Asparagusithids using their own language consisting largely of complex pheromones. CR1 Improved Grab: If an Asparagusithid hits a Tiny, Small, or Medium sized creature with its slam attack it can attempt a grapple as a free action with no attack of opportunity. If it succeeds it burrows its leafy end into the creature's head. If an Asparagusithid begins its turn attached it sucks part of that creature's brain out dealing 1d4 points of Int and 1d4 points of Wis damage. These points are temporarily added to the Asparagusithid's stats. Constructs, elementals, oozes, plants, and undead are immune to this effect. Any creature reduced to 0 Int or 0 Wis in this manner dies. Bite Prone: Any successful bite attacks are instantly lethal to Asparagusithids. Variant: White Asparagusithids are Asparagusithids that have grown in total darkness. Stats are same but are slightly sweeter and more tender. Mashed Potato Elemental Small Elemental Hit Dice: 2d8+4 (13hp) Initiative: +0 Speed: 20ft AC: 18 (+1 size, +7 natural) Base Attack/Grapple: +1/-1 Attack: Slam +6 melee (1d6+3) (+1 fire if hot) Space/Reach: 5ft/5ft Special Qualities: Darkvision 60ft, elemental traits Saves: Fort +4, Ref +0, Will +0 Abilities: Str 16, Dex 10, Con 14, Int 4, Wis 11, Cha 11 Skills: Listen +2, Spot +3 Feats: Power Attack Environment: Elemental Plane of Mashed Potatoes Organization: Solitary CR1 Alignment: Usually neutral Advancement 3HD (Small) Thank you! The elemental is delicious of course, but there's the distinct chance that he doesn't feel pain in a manner that would really make me savor the meal. How about a galeb duhrato? Still an extra planar though. . . |
| EvilVegan10-08-07, 12:40 PM | So gelatinous cubes are Tofu? I don't think they are an adequate substitute. That acid would mess stuff up. If you could extract the acid, then you have a marketable industrial substance that can be used for mining, and then a Tofu substitute (wait, a substitute for a substitute!).I don't know about acid extraction, but immersion in a strong base (preferably a solution of NaOH, often found in lye soap) produces a salty, spongey material. However, using lye is dangerous for many reasons and can lead to toxic results if the chemical reaction isn't brought to completion. You would need a trained alchemist (preferably gnomish) to verify this reaction was complete (DC 20 Alchemy check). NaOH is preferred to other strong bases, due to the formation of toxic salts versus the more benign NaCL. Some races prefer these other salts of course. First you prepare a soap bath, with at least 12.8 kiloliters/3382 gallons of .5 molar NaOH soultion to begin with, in a large hole 11x11x12, place the cube into the bath (using stone golems preferably), let sit for a few hours occasionally adding more lye and skimming the foam. Be careful to do this in an open area with proper protection, because this is a highly reactive process, producing heat and bubbles like a "home-made volcano" but bigger and more agressive. This heat is typically more than enough to kill the cube, often above the heat needed to melt steel requiring heat tolerant materials in the vat construction. This process would also involve a crushing press to squeeze out excess fluid. The boiling heat and chemical reaction is what creates the spongey texture and also opens up holes to allow the base solution penetrate the creature wholly. A second processing step may be necessary to clean off excess soap. A third process to remove the salt would be advised for those with high blood pressure. Anyway, this is an involved process, but due to the large size and asexual breeding of cubes it's relatively easy to produce large quantities of the stuff by feeding them organic waste from the city garbage/sewer system. The paralyzing venom can be harvested for law-enforcement or medicinal uses. Gnomish inventors could probably find a use for the excess energy produced by the chemical reactions as well. They are useful for cleaning and sterilization of metalic/stone tools. They can keep small city fed while recycling the wastes. They're easy to grow, just cut them into smaller cubes and toss them into a vat of garbage (presorted to remove stone and metal). When properly combined with trained otyughs and rust monsters (little known fact, a cube's acid can dissolve rust giving it a higher iron content for the anemic consumer) a single cube can absorb between 5 and 10 tons of garbage in it's life cycle, before being converted to 2-3 tons of food stuffs. Varying levels of sourness, bitterness, saltiness can be achieved by partially processing or over processing the cube, and depending on the nature of waste provided various nuances can be added to the flavor. Freezing and boiling can also produce varying textures. They readily absorb and process organic vitamins, causing them to be high in both protein and vitamins and minerals. Oh and one other processing tip, if you feed it a high volume of sugary substances (fermented corn and grains, cane sugars, honey, and the like) you get the base for legendary and delectable "Turkish Cube", which involves the addition of pistachios and a coating of powdered sugar. |
| dman1123510-09-07, 02:09 AM | Nice one Vegan. Although I'd highly recomend a way of merely extracting the acid rather than neutralizing it. And since we have no idea what acid it is (could probably find out with what we're given) it might be a bad thing to leave it in there. Toxins are not good. I'm sure you could wash it out by first killing the cube, and then straining it to a pulp. Run water trough it (flavored if you care for that) to remove most of the toxins and acid. This also cuts out a step or two from your process. |
| UraniumKatana10-11-07, 03:47 PM | One could of course merely strike the Cube with a Uranium Katana and the radiation inflicted would cancel the acid. |
| Ragitsu12-08-07, 12:43 PM | How about eating a nymph? |
| Igfig12-09-07, 12:16 AM | Nymphs taste like humans, but a lot prettier. |
| dman1123512-09-07, 12:47 AM | They've also got a sort of nutty taste. It's really subtle, so hard to miss, and really easy to get rid of. |
| Ekko12-09-07, 02:01 PM | How are you sure you were eating nymph? You go blind if you look at nymph meat. Battlebriar salad would be a possibility, as would dread blossum swarm jelly. (like rose jelly, with a hint of and meat). I'm quite partial to achaierai sauteed in essence of conflagration ooze. It tastes like duck, with a spicy kick from the sauce. I had MM3 next to me when I saw this thread... |
| dman1123512-09-07, 02:15 PM | If it's prepared correctly (as in, dead, it's (su), so the lose it when dead), they lose that ability. And that dish might be good. I'll have to try it sometime. |
| Igfig12-11-07, 03:26 PM | You haven't lived until you've eaten jellied keeper poison. It's a taste out of this multiverse. Just make sure you have poison immunity. |
| dman1123512-11-07, 04:30 PM | That's all right, I'm a high level monk. I'll have to try that sometime. Maybe spread on some toast? Dread blossum toast. Use one dread blossum per loaf, ground into the flower. Make sure you drain the blood from it first though, it could mess up the glutton. Good way to do this is to slice it in half and wash it out under a constant stream of water, and then sun dry it. It's got a sort of tangy flavor, but sweet, kind of like cinnamon. A little more iron than cinnamon though. |
| sirdanile12-11-07, 05:48 PM | I'm quite partial to an illithid brain chilled in a living cone of cold (living spell template) in a sealed vacuum served with a side of violet fungus sauteed in a spicy ooze mephit sauce. :invasion: You can also cut glimmerskins skin off and slice it into little strips, Add some nutmeg for a good bacon-like taste and you can deep fry them for the chip-on-the-go view. :gel: also when making these "Ooze sauces" make sure not to get paralyzed by a drow dart... just ask poor iscthlarin with the speak with the spell. |
| ToastedAmphibian12-11-07, 11:00 PM | Do feindish beavers make dams from half chewed dryads? I hear celestial monkeys are a delicacey. Its probably hard to explain your motives if yoru caught harvesting them, but aside from that... Kabobed on a stick? Mmmm, Kobold Kabob? |
| dman1123512-11-07, 11:45 PM | They only use dryads occasionally (there's no guaruntee that there are any around). And you could make big money selling celestial monkeys to the mortals in the Abyss on the black market. Kobolds aren't actually that great. They're too boney, not enough meat. And the scales are a nightmare to get rid of. It's worse than fish. |
| Bloodsoul12-12-07, 05:17 PM | How about eating a nymph? I think my CE Barbarian just found a new recipé for his cookbook. Also puts a new spin on that "Origin of Species" Epic Spell. |
| ToastedAmphibian12-12-07, 07:03 PM | They only use dryads occasionally (there's no guaruntee that there are any around). And you could make big money selling celestial monkeys to the mortals in the Abyss on the black market. Kobolds aren't actually that great. They're too boney, not enough meat. And the scales are a nightmare to get rid of. It's worse than fish. I was just going to eat them whole, like some people due with crickets. A crunchy, smokey treat. I guess your millage may vary acording to your size category. |
| dman1123512-12-07, 07:11 PM | What are you? I'm medium, so they aren't exactly bite-sized. But I guess they might be goo to some really large creature if roasted to a perfect crunchiness, and then chocolate covered. But it's not really the same type of meat as bugs. Meh, some people juggle geese. |
| Velcro Zipper12-13-07, 03:26 PM | I don't remember the name of it, but Book of Vile Darkness included a disease brought on by eating the flesh of evil outsiders. I would think eating achaierai would carry the same risk. |
| dman1123512-13-07, 03:46 PM | Soul rot. I don't believe Achaierai are evil enough though. I mean, I didn't even think the were outsiders at first. And maybe if you cook it first? |
| warforged5109212-13-07, 05:13 PM | You know what's good. Barbacued wyvern with a salad of diced tendriculos covered in ranch dressing. For a side use either longgrain rice or diced driad :drool: delicious. Wyvern tastes like an odd yet delicious combination of beef and chicken. The meat tastes best grilled, but can be added to a stew. NEVER SERVE WYVERN WITH CELERY :yuck: . I lost a PC that way :weep: Driads taste like almonds drizzled with maple syrup and Tendriculos taste like watermelon combined with pineapple. Weird huh? |
| teamfireyleader12-13-07, 06:38 PM | Simply the best feasably normal meal. Roast Titanic Goose. |
| teamfireyleader12-13-07, 06:38 PM | Simply the best feasably normal meal. Roast Titanic Awakened Goose. |
| Ekko12-19-07, 01:08 PM | Someone suggested using Gelatinous Cubes? Don't you know that stuff's bad for you? It's like concentrated MSG! Summoning Ooze works better: it tastes a lot like water, but as you swallow it, you get a random meat flavor. An aquired taste, but very giid, For a nice BBQ party, go out and slaughter a brass dragon. Bring it home, slice off the meat, animate the skeleton, and let it roast the stuff for you. The skeleton can also deal with unruly party guests. Don't let anyone catch you doing this, though: dragons are endanged. |