British Template [Archive] - Wizards Community

British Template [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Olly
11-06-05, 03:07 PM Because I laughed like the drains when reading Savant Warlord's French template, I present, the British template, including:

· +2 racial bonus to Constitution and Wisdom: The British are a hardy and pragmatic breed.

· -2 racial penalty to Diplomacy checks: The British are whiny gits who will complain about everything, and their foreign policy is simply to speak slowly and clearly in their own language, and, if that doesn’t work, then they start shouting.

· +1 racial bonus to attack rolls against creatures with the French template. The British have a long and illustrious history of sticking it to the cheese-eating surrender monkeys that live across the Channel.

· Ridiculous National Pride (Ex): Every true, pureblood Britisher cannot help but weep with national pride at such sights as the Union Jack, Winston Churchill, fish and chips, the changing of the guard, Big Ben or the beloved Queen Mum (May God Rest Her Soul).

· Everything Stops For Tea (Ex): A creature with the British template has a 1% cumulative chance of dropping all weapons and abandoning the fight, every round of combat, to have a nice, warm spot of tea.

Anyone else got anything they'd like to add?
The Vorpal Tribble
11-06-05, 03:17 PM Innocence of Evil (Ex):
British kids get a +4 bonus to their Perform (acting) checks to get the part in horror pictures.

(Surely I'm not the only one to notice it... you want a spooky kid in a movie, it'll have an english accent, specially if its a little girl needed ;) )

-=-=-=-=-

I'd start an American template, but for pete's sake it'd change every few states... snobby northeast, rancher southwest, slow but philisophical southeast, insane and rather unsettling west, laid back and tough northwest...
Olly
11-06-05, 03:19 PM I'd start an American template, but for pete's sake it'd change every few states... snobby northeast, rancher southwest, slow but philisophical southeast, insane and rather unsettling west, laid back and tough northwest...

Hmm... Perhaps it'd be best if a non-American does the American template. After all, they all look the same to us. Overweight, overpaid and over here... ;)

I'd give the Yanks a similar size rule to the goliaths, in that they should be Medium-sized but, due to their majestic bulk (read: podgy fat), should count as Large size in certain circumstances.
Balor von Balorvitch
11-06-05, 03:35 PM God you americans better stop with the puning of other cultures before we lay the smackdown with an american template here is one i just thought

Your not Supporting the Troops: (Ex) any american who hears these words must make a will save or be domanted into doing anything this person tells you.

I :love: NY: (Ex) -2 reaction to any other society that is not american.

Welcome to the real world: (Ex) all americans must make a will save when ever bad things happen to america or be stunned for 1d4 hours.

LOL just a a few ones
Olly
11-06-05, 03:43 PM God you americans better stop with the puning of other cultures before we lay the smackdown with an american template here is one i just thought

Your not Supporting the Troops: (Ex) any american who hears these words must make a will save or be domanted into doing anything this person tells you.

I :love: NY: (Ex) -2 reaction to any other society that is not american.

Welcome to the real world: (Ex) all americans must make a will save when ever bad things happen to america or be stunned for 1d4 hours.

LOL just a a few ones

Dude... Harsh... :nonono:
Balor von Balorvitch
11-06-05, 03:44 PM Have you seen the French Template?

I assume it is all in jest? Is it not?
Verelor
11-06-05, 03:55 PM Originally Posted by Balor von Balorvitch
God you americans better stop with the puning of other cultures before we lay the smackdown with an american template here is one i just thought

Your not Supporting the Troops: (Ex) any american who hears these words must make a will save or be domanted into doing anything this person tells you.

I :love: NY: (Ex) -2 reaction to any other society that is not american.

Welcome to the real world: (Ex) all americans must make a will save when ever bad things happen to america or be stunned for 1d4 hours.

LOL just a a few ones

This is crap, it's not a template, and you didn't even list the Will save DC's. Loser.
Nature_King
11-06-05, 03:59 PM God you americans better stop with the puning of other cultures before we lay the smackdown with an american template here is one i just thought

Your not Supporting the Troops: (Ex) any american who hears these words must make a will save or be domanted into doing anything this person tells you.

I :love: NY: (Ex) -2 reaction to any other society that is not american.

Welcome to the real world: (Ex) all americans must make a will save when ever bad things happen to america or be stunned for 1d4 hours.

LOL just a a few ones

Shut up I thougt Canidians where always nice :D
Olly
11-06-05, 04:01 PM Personally, I think that Balor Von Balorvitch has, unknowingly of course, stepped over the line.

I think it would be best if we leave politics out of this. Now please, do not fight in my thread, huh?
savant_warlord13
11-06-05, 04:11 PM Lets not forget the stank Extraordinary ability!

Anyone within 20 feet of a Brit must make a DC 19 fort every round save or be nauseated for that round

The DC increases by 3 for every additional Brit within 20 feet

Brits are immune to their own putrid stench!
Olly
11-06-05, 04:14 PM Heh. And 'Hideous Teeth' too. Maybe something like a gaze attack, where anybody who fixes their gaze on a Britisher's teeth must make a Will save or be frozen in horror at the sight of their poorly-maintained gnashers. :D
Nature_King
11-06-05, 04:15 PM I'm not trying to be mean in any way but the British template shouldn't get the con modifer they aren't really that strong they should how ever get plus +2 int they take great pride in the education system.
Balor von Balorvitch
11-06-05, 04:16 PM Ok fine, that was not a template but just some bare bones ideas, i think the person who crossed the line was the guy who made the french template. I simple used sterotypes as he did showing that it is not cool to insult peoples culture.

:rant: I would never dare make a African Template! So no more templates about culture.

Oh and this Canadian is not as nice as some. :devil:
Olly
11-06-05, 04:17 PM I'm not trying to be mean in any way but the British template shouldn't get the con modifer they aren't really that strong they should how ever get plus +2 int they take great pride in the education system.

No worries, I'm not offended.

My reasoning behind the Constitution bonus was that was that the British are, generally, a tough, hardy people, that get used to things easily. After all, we live in a country where it rains so hard it makes your head bleed.
savant_warlord13
11-06-05, 04:18 PM Ok fine, that was not a template but just some bare bones ideas, i think the person who crossed the line was the guy who made the french template. I simple used sterotypes as he did showing that it is not cool to insult peoples culture.

:rant: I would never dare make a African Template! So no more templates about culture.

Oh and this Canadian is not as nice as some. :devil:

:ahem: That was me who made the French template, and I resent that statement
Olly
11-06-05, 04:18 PM Ok fine, that was not a template but just some bare bones ideas, i think the person who crossed the line was the guy who made the french template. I simple used sterotypes as he did showing that it is not cool to insult peoples culture.

:rant: I would never dare make a African Template! So no more templates about culture.

Oh and this Canadian is not as nice as some. :devil:

Calm down, calm down, you need to relax, guy... http://adwoff.com/pictures/SaddamSuit.gif
Nature_King
11-06-05, 04:24 PM should the template get weapon profiency in the sickle, scythe, and the handaxe there is a large amount of farmers in british society
Olly
11-06-05, 04:31 PM should the template get weapon profiency in the sickle, scythe, and the handaxe there is a large amount of farmers in british society

I don't think so. In my experience, nobody really likes to talk about the farmers. And that's the way the farmers like it.

They'd much rather be on their little scraps of land in Devon, drinking scrumpy, feeding their cows other cows, waving around shotguns and shouting "Gerrorf moi laaaaand!"
OamuTheMonk
11-06-05, 04:40 PM Socialized medicine (Su): Any creature with the British template can heal himself of 3d8 + 5HP of damage taken (as the spell cure serious wounds), as long as he can afford to wait 2d4 days for the effect to occur.

Chase Music (Su): Whenever a creature with the British template uses the Run action, he is surrounded by the blaring whimsical tones of "Yakity Sax." This gives a +10 circumstance bonus to creatures making listen checks to her the runner.

Steak and Kidney pie (Ex): A creature with the British template gains a +2 on Fortitude saves to avoid being Nauseated from eating unusually grotesque foods (This includes, but is not limited to all manner of Scots cuisine).
savant_warlord13
11-06-05, 04:42 PM Ok fine, that was not a template but just some bare bones ideas, i think the person who crossed the line was the guy who made the french template. I simple used sterotypes as he did showing that it is not cool to insult peoples culture.

:rant: I would never dare make a African Template! So no more templates about culture.

Oh and this Canadian is not as nice as some. :devil:

The only reason you wouldn't make an african template is because you're afraid of them
Olly
11-06-05, 04:42 PM Chase Music (Su): Whenever a creature with the British template uses the Run action, he is surrounded by the blaring whimsical tones of "Yakity Sax." This gives a +10 circumstance bonus to creatures making listen checks to her the runner.

:rofl:

BRILLIANT! JUST BRILLIANT!

But you forgot the 'bevy' (that is the correct term, I believe) of scantily clad beauties, the British bobby and the man in the gorilla suit which will inevitably follow, for no apparent reason at all. ;)
Nature_King
11-06-05, 04:50 PM The only reason you wouldn't make an african template is because you're afraid of them
Shut up u afraid to I don't see you going to south central :D
Ob_Deamon
11-06-05, 05:19 PM Actually, for the American template, I'd advise having a Conservative/Rebulican version and a Liberal/Democrate version.

So the "Your not Supporting the Troops" trait can dominate Conservatives, but causes Liberals to launch into a spiel about the evils of the Bush Administration, ect.
savant_warlord13
11-06-05, 05:30 PM Shut up u afraid to I don't see you going to south central :D

Where is that? and of course you don't! You don't see me at all!
caeruleus
11-06-05, 05:32 PM Personally, I think that Balor Von Balorvitch has, unknowingly of course, stepped over the line.

I think it would be best if we leave politics out of this. Now please, do not fight in my thread, huh?

God forbid anyone criticize the Americans, even if it's mild and just for fun. :rolleyes:
Mysticaloctopus
11-06-05, 05:53 PM Check out my Chav PRC (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=522978)

There's the chav, who has all the REAL brit stuff. This is the underclass scum of Britain at it's worst.

Oh, and everything stops for tea also should cause utter ceasing of all military action from four till half-past.

The bad teeth thing? nah, it's that the yanks are obsessed with white teeth. Anyway, nothing can break a dirty toilet, same with teeth. the claggage makes them stronger.

The smell? it's called pikey cider, and it applies to chavs only.

now how's this:
Footy! (Ex): Any Brit within 1 mile of a football match from 1 hour before kick-off until the next day wishes nought but harm on all non-fans of his team and anyone Indian and/or working in a take-away. This is activated by consuption of the aforementioned cider and/or Stella Artois.

And also,
Dialects(Ex): Whatever his accent, a Brit cannot be understood by any foreigner. Treat british spoken by a brit as underbritish, which requires 2 skill points to learn per dialect. Common dialects include Faaaaarmer, Burmingum, London mate, Pip-pip-I-Say, Glasweigan, Edinburgh, Chav and Welsh. Welsh, to the americans, means anything vaguely not cockney or posh, but in fact means a camp voice, a habit of living in villages and saying 'look, you' and being called Daffydd Thomas.

Which reminds me!
BBC Forever!(Ex): Any brit can watch the BBC, and thus pick up odd shows like the League of Gentlemen, Little Britain, reruns of Monty Python and of course Doctor Who. The british quote these programs as a sort of secret code, and failing to complete a quote reveals someone as an outsider to mocked.
Taking the feat 'Yeah but no but yeah but i inverted the polarity of the neutron flow so shu'up' or 'Cracking dead parrot, gromit' gives a nonbrit the ability to make a DC20 Knowledge (Brits) check to come up with the line.
Also, mocking these programs causes a brit to hate you.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Olly 11-06-05, 03:07 PM	Because I laughed like the drains when reading Savant Warlord's French template, I present, the British template, including: · +2 racial bonus to Constitution and Wisdom: The British are a hardy and pragmatic breed. · -2 racial penalty to Diplomacy checks: The British are whiny gits who will complain about everything, and their foreign policy is simply to speak slowly and clearly in their own language, and, if that doesn’t work, then they start shouting. · +1 racial bonus to attack rolls against creatures with the French template. The British have a long and illustrious history of sticking it to the cheese-eating surrender monkeys that live across the Channel. · Ridiculous National Pride (Ex): Every true, pureblood Britisher cannot help but weep with national pride at such sights as the Union Jack, Winston Churchill, fish and chips, the changing of the guard, Big Ben or the beloved Queen Mum (May God Rest Her Soul). · Everything Stops For Tea (Ex): A creature with the British template has a 1% cumulative chance of dropping all weapons and abandoning the fight, every round of combat, to have a nice, warm spot of tea. Anyone else got anything they'd like to add?
The Vorpal Tribble 11-06-05, 03:17 PM	Innocence of Evil (Ex): British kids get a +4 bonus to their Perform (acting) checks to get the part in horror pictures. (Surely I'm not the only one to notice it... you want a spooky kid in a movie, it'll have an english accent, specially if its a little girl needed ;) ) -=-=-=-=- I'd start an American template, but for pete's sake it'd change every few states... snobby northeast, rancher southwest, slow but philisophical southeast, insane and rather unsettling west, laid back and tough northwest...
Olly 11-06-05, 03:19 PM	I'd start an American template, but for pete's sake it'd change every few states... snobby northeast, rancher southwest, slow but philisophical southeast, insane and rather unsettling west, laid back and tough northwest... Hmm... Perhaps it'd be best if a non-American does the American template. After all, they all look the same to us. Overweight, overpaid and over here... ;) I'd give the Yanks a similar size rule to the goliaths, in that they should be Medium-sized but, due to their majestic bulk (read: podgy fat), should count as Large size in certain circumstances.
Balor von Balorvitch 11-06-05, 03:35 PM	God you americans better stop with the puning of other cultures before we lay the smackdown with an american template here is one i just thought Your not Supporting the Troops: (Ex) any american who hears these words must make a will save or be domanted into doing anything this person tells you. I :love: NY: (Ex) -2 reaction to any other society that is not american. Welcome to the real world: (Ex) all americans must make a will save when ever bad things happen to america or be stunned for 1d4 hours. LOL just a a few ones
Olly 11-06-05, 03:43 PM	God you americans better stop with the puning of other cultures before we lay the smackdown with an american template here is one i just thought Your not Supporting the Troops: (Ex) any american who hears these words must make a will save or be domanted into doing anything this person tells you. I :love: NY: (Ex) -2 reaction to any other society that is not american. Welcome to the real world: (Ex) all americans must make a will save when ever bad things happen to america or be stunned for 1d4 hours. LOL just a a few ones Dude... Harsh... :nonono:
Balor von Balorvitch 11-06-05, 03:44 PM	Have you seen the French Template? I assume it is all in jest? Is it not?
Verelor 11-06-05, 03:55 PM	Originally Posted by Balor von Balorvitch God you americans better stop with the puning of other cultures before we lay the smackdown with an american template here is one i just thought Your not Supporting the Troops: (Ex) any american who hears these words must make a will save or be domanted into doing anything this person tells you. I :love: NY: (Ex) -2 reaction to any other society that is not american. Welcome to the real world: (Ex) all americans must make a will save when ever bad things happen to america or be stunned for 1d4 hours. LOL just a a few ones This is crap, it's not a template, and you didn't even list the Will save DC's. Loser.
Nature_King 11-06-05, 03:59 PM	God you americans better stop with the puning of other cultures before we lay the smackdown with an american template here is one i just thought Your not Supporting the Troops: (Ex) any american who hears these words must make a will save or be domanted into doing anything this person tells you. I :love: NY: (Ex) -2 reaction to any other society that is not american. Welcome to the real world: (Ex) all americans must make a will save when ever bad things happen to america or be stunned for 1d4 hours. LOL just a a few ones Shut up I thougt Canidians where always nice :D
Olly 11-06-05, 04:01 PM	Personally, I think that Balor Von Balorvitch has, unknowingly of course, stepped over the line. I think it would be best if we leave politics out of this. Now please, do not fight in my thread, huh?
savant_warlord13 11-06-05, 04:11 PM	Lets not forget the stank Extraordinary ability! Anyone within 20 feet of a Brit must make a DC 19 fort every round save or be nauseated for that round The DC increases by 3 for every additional Brit within 20 feet Brits are immune to their own putrid stench!
Olly 11-06-05, 04:14 PM	Heh. And 'Hideous Teeth' too. Maybe something like a gaze attack, where anybody who fixes their gaze on a Britisher's teeth must make a Will save or be frozen in horror at the sight of their poorly-maintained gnashers. :D
Nature_King 11-06-05, 04:15 PM	I'm not trying to be mean in any way but the British template shouldn't get the con modifer they aren't really that strong they should how ever get plus +2 int they take great pride in the education system.
Balor von Balorvitch 11-06-05, 04:16 PM	Ok fine, that was not a template but just some bare bones ideas, i think the person who crossed the line was the guy who made the french template. I simple used sterotypes as he did showing that it is not cool to insult peoples culture. :rant: I would never dare make a African Template! So no more templates about culture. Oh and this Canadian is not as nice as some. :devil:
Olly 11-06-05, 04:17 PM	I'm not trying to be mean in any way but the British template shouldn't get the con modifer they aren't really that strong they should how ever get plus +2 int they take great pride in the education system. No worries, I'm not offended. My reasoning behind the Constitution bonus was that was that the British are, generally, a tough, hardy people, that get used to things easily. After all, we live in a country where it rains so hard it makes your head bleed.
savant_warlord13 11-06-05, 04:18 PM	Ok fine, that was not a template but just some bare bones ideas, i think the person who crossed the line was the guy who made the french template. I simple used sterotypes as he did showing that it is not cool to insult peoples culture. :rant: I would never dare make a African Template! So no more templates about culture. Oh and this Canadian is not as nice as some. :devil: :ahem: That was me who made the French template, and I resent that statement
Olly 11-06-05, 04:18 PM	Ok fine, that was not a template but just some bare bones ideas, i think the person who crossed the line was the guy who made the french template. I simple used sterotypes as he did showing that it is not cool to insult peoples culture. :rant: I would never dare make a African Template! So no more templates about culture. Oh and this Canadian is not as nice as some. :devil: Calm down, calm down, you need to relax, guy... http://adwoff.com/pictures/SaddamSuit.gif
Nature_King 11-06-05, 04:24 PM	should the template get weapon profiency in the sickle, scythe, and the handaxe there is a large amount of farmers in british society
Olly 11-06-05, 04:31 PM	should the template get weapon profiency in the sickle, scythe, and the handaxe there is a large amount of farmers in british society I don't think so. In my experience, nobody really likes to talk about the farmers. And that's the way the farmers like it. They'd much rather be on their little scraps of land in Devon, drinking scrumpy, feeding their cows other cows, waving around shotguns and shouting "Gerrorf moi laaaaand!"
OamuTheMonk 11-06-05, 04:40 PM	Socialized medicine (Su): Any creature with the British template can heal himself of 3d8 + 5HP of damage taken (as the spell cure serious wounds), as long as he can afford to wait 2d4 days for the effect to occur. Chase Music (Su): Whenever a creature with the British template uses the Run action, he is surrounded by the blaring whimsical tones of "Yakity Sax." This gives a +10 circumstance bonus to creatures making listen checks to her the runner. Steak and Kidney pie (Ex): A creature with the British template gains a +2 on Fortitude saves to avoid being Nauseated from eating unusually grotesque foods (This includes, but is not limited to all manner of Scots cuisine).
savant_warlord13 11-06-05, 04:42 PM	Ok fine, that was not a template but just some bare bones ideas, i think the person who crossed the line was the guy who made the french template. I simple used sterotypes as he did showing that it is not cool to insult peoples culture. :rant: I would never dare make a African Template! So no more templates about culture. Oh and this Canadian is not as nice as some. :devil: The only reason you wouldn't make an african template is because you're afraid of them
Olly 11-06-05, 04:42 PM	Chase Music (Su): Whenever a creature with the British template uses the Run action, he is surrounded by the blaring whimsical tones of "Yakity Sax." This gives a +10 circumstance bonus to creatures making listen checks to her the runner. :rofl: BRILLIANT! JUST BRILLIANT! But you forgot the 'bevy' (that is the correct term, I believe) of scantily clad beauties, the British bobby and the man in the gorilla suit which will inevitably follow, for no apparent reason at all. ;)
Nature_King 11-06-05, 04:50 PM	The only reason you wouldn't make an african template is because you're afraid of them Shut up u afraid to I don't see you going to south central :D
Ob_Deamon 11-06-05, 05:19 PM	Actually, for the American template, I'd advise having a Conservative/Rebulican version and a Liberal/Democrate version. So the "Your not Supporting the Troops" trait can dominate Conservatives, but causes Liberals to launch into a spiel about the evils of the Bush Administration, ect.
savant_warlord13 11-06-05, 05:30 PM	Shut up u afraid to I don't see you going to south central :D Where is that? and of course you don't! You don't see me at all!
caeruleus 11-06-05, 05:32 PM	Personally, I think that Balor Von Balorvitch has, unknowingly of course, stepped over the line. I think it would be best if we leave politics out of this. Now please, do not fight in my thread, huh? God forbid anyone criticize the Americans, even if it's mild and just for fun. :rolleyes:
Mysticaloctopus 11-06-05, 05:53 PM	Check out my Chav PRC (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=522978) There's the chav, who has all the REAL brit stuff. This is the underclass scum of Britain at it's worst. Oh, and everything stops for tea also should cause utter ceasing of all military action from four till half-past. The bad teeth thing? nah, it's that the yanks are obsessed with white teeth. Anyway, nothing can break a dirty toilet, same with teeth. the claggage makes them stronger. The smell? it's called pikey cider, and it applies to chavs only. now how's this: Footy! (Ex): Any Brit within 1 mile of a football match from 1 hour before kick-off until the next day wishes nought but harm on all non-fans of his team and anyone Indian and/or working in a take-away. This is activated by consuption of the aforementioned cider and/or Stella Artois. And also, Dialects(Ex): Whatever his accent, a Brit cannot be understood by any foreigner. Treat british spoken by a brit as underbritish, which requires 2 skill points to learn per dialect. Common dialects include Faaaaarmer, Burmingum, London mate, Pip-pip-I-Say, Glasweigan, Edinburgh, Chav and Welsh. Welsh, to the americans, means anything vaguely not cockney or posh, but in fact means a camp voice, a habit of living in villages and saying 'look, you' and being called Daffydd Thomas. Which reminds me! BBC Forever!(Ex): Any brit can watch the BBC, and thus pick up odd shows like the League of Gentlemen, Little Britain, reruns of Monty Python and of course Doctor Who. The british quote these programs as a sort of secret code, and failing to complete a quote reveals someone as an outsider to mocked. Taking the feat 'Yeah but no but yeah but i inverted the polarity of the neutron flow so shu'up' or 'Cracking dead parrot, gromit' gives a nonbrit the ability to make a DC20 Knowledge (Brits) check to come up with the line. Also, mocking these programs causes a brit to hate you.