Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Sorcerer 01-01-04, 03:39 PM	Does a mindflayer look at a sprite like we would a candy bar?
Tevish Szat 01-01-04, 04:21 PM	An Illithid could likley get a mad cow derevitave if it exists in the campagin world. However, if it started to become a problem, they'd be smart enough NOT to eat infected people I think they probably look at sprites as we do: Minor annoiances. But could an Illithid eat an Intellect Devourer? the thing is basically one big brain... Brain golems and other big brain creatures are also suspect.
The Swedish Viking 01-01-04, 05:14 PM	How do you create a Half-dragon, Half-fiend Iron Golem? I mean... that must be some pervert dragons/deamons! Ah, well, maybe more a matter for the Mature boards... but still, it does raise eyebrows. And did you know, that anyone with a flying carpet and a means to permanently transport himself to the Ethereal Plane can actually explore the entire universe on his flying carpet, and visit all known Campaign Settings and worlds? And, he can play space invaders!
alex_person 01-01-04, 07:22 PM	An illithid eating an intellect devourer... imagine you trying to eat 2 turkeys. No, 3. I guess it would be like that. He might eat part of it...
Lord Tarran 01-01-04, 11:34 PM	Not to be a spoil sport, but those brain golems, and most other brain creatures were made by the illithid. Also, can anyone imagine what would happen if the leviathan and the tarrasque, the two beasts of the land and sea, spliced together. Also, what is the air monster of unbelivale power? Hmmmm? Didn't think you knew?
Sorcerer 01-02-04, 03:01 AM	Originally posted by Lord Tarran Also, what is the air monster of unbelivale power? Hmmmm? Didn't think you knew? Rodan?
Erik_Steel 01-02-04, 04:17 AM	Isn't that the pheonix? CR what 24 [don't have MM2 w/ me]
Ertai Planeswalker 01-02-04, 04:33 AM	Originally posted by Lord Tarran Not to be a spoil sport, but those brain golems, and most other brain creatures were made by the illithid. Also, can anyone imagine what would happen if the leviathan and the tarrasque, the two beasts of the land and sea, spliced together. Also, what is the air monster of unbelivale power? Hmmmm? Didn't think you knew? Ummm... Dragons?
Gez 01-02-04, 07:10 AM	Phoenix are for fire. Dragons are for all elements. They indifferently fly in air and swim in water, they lair in deep caverns under mountains, and they breath fire.
Erik_Steel 01-02-04, 07:32 AM	I didn't mean a beast of the element, then it'd be tempest, I meant the megabeast that strives in that area.
Luminosity 01-02-04, 09:59 AM	Well, there's the Primal Air Elemental.
The Swedish Viking 01-02-04, 11:32 AM	No, you got it all wrong it is the Half-fiend, half-celestial vampiric lich Gargantiuan Elder Air elemental! Yeez, where do they get all their silly templates from? Shouldnīt there be a rule against applying them to some creatures, and not being allowed to apply more than one template, or something?
Arilou_skiff 01-02-04, 11:52 AM	Originally posted by The Swedish Viking No, you got it all wrong it is the Half-fiend, half-celestial vampiric lich Gargantiuan Elder Air elemental! Yeez, where do they get all their silly templates from? Shouldnīt there be a rule against applying them to some creatures, and not being allowed to apply more than one template, or something? There are several rules (eg. many templates cannot be applied to different types, eg. you cannot both be a vampire anda lich since they both must be applied to the living) also, common sense dictates that one can only have one "half" template.
Eco-Mono 01-02-04, 11:53 AM	Originally posted by The Swedish Viking No, you got it all wrong it is the Half-fiend, half-celestial vampiric lich Gargantiuan Elder Air elemental! Yeez, where do they get all their silly templates from? Shouldnīt there be a rule against applying them to some creatures, and not being allowed to apply more than one template, or something? Actually, you did in fact do something illegal there. You can't be a "vampire lich"; each requires an original creature type other than Undead, so no matter which one you get first, you can't get the other. And it's debatable whether a being can have two "half-" templates.
The Swedish Viking 01-02-04, 12:34 PM	Okay, remove that part of vampiric lich then, only lich. Strictly according to the rules you could be as many half-whatever as there are half-templates. That is sick. Also, how the H could a Elemental be half-dragon?
Lord Tarran 01-02-04, 12:38 PM	Well, in the case of a fire elemental, a horny red dragon. Anyway, when I started that bit I meant Tarrasque is the most powerful land beast. There is only one. Leviathan is the same thing for the sea. I want to know what the beast of the air is.
Mordenkainen's Rubber Duck of DOOM 01-02-04, 01:43 PM	Originally posted by Eco-Mono And it's debatable whether a being can have two "half-" templates. No, no it's not. Despite how impossible it would be, it is legal and there is an explanation. So if your grandfather was a Red Dragon, your grandmother was a Human, your grandpa on the other side was a Blue Dragon, and your grandma that has a child with him was a Succubus, then your parents were a Half-Red Dragon Human and a Half-Blue Dragon Fiend. So, their mating (which has no chance in *chuckle* Baator, but it's still possible) would produce a Half-Red Half-Blue Dragon Half-Fiend Human. It makes no sense what so ever, but it still works. Not only that, barring flavour it is 100% certain to be possible because all Half-Templates (except Illithid, IIRC) apply to any living corpereal creature. The only way out, I think, is to apply Ghost, or some other undead/creature that is incorpereal. HOWEVER, just because it's legal doesn't mean it makes any sense, and I agree fully that it shouldn't work like that. A Half-Dragon with a human should produce a Quarter Dragon and then a Dragon-Ancestry Person (forget the name of the template in Dragon), not a Half Dragon for two generations and then a creature with Draconic ancestry.
RhoxandRoll 01-02-04, 07:48 PM	Originally posted by Mordenkainen's Rubber Duck of DOOM HOWEVER, just because it's legal doesn't mean it makes any sense, Anyone else reminded of the bag o' rats technique? and I agree fully that it shouldn't work like that. A Half-Dragon with a human should produce a Quarter Dragon and then a Dragon-Ancestry Person (forget the name of the template in Dragon), not a Half Dragon for two generations and then a creature with Draconic ancestry. [/B] Well, alot of it is flavor related in the game. I've been in a lot of situations where there was a half-fiend that wasn't sexually created. I've used the half-dragon template to create dragon-like races before, just because it says "half-dragon" doesn't mean you can use the mechanic for something else... EDIT: I am a victim of unintentional text bolding.
Ob_Deamon 01-02-04, 10:27 PM	Back to the silly questions (which, I think, is the point of this thread) How much wood could a woodchuck chuck is a woodchuck had the multiheaded, half-fiend, and monster of legend templates applied to it? What do you think the brain of the Tarrasque would taste like to an Illithid?
Glide 01-02-04, 10:51 PM	What would your Strength score need to be to send a halfling into orbit? What do the gods do when they think no one is looking? If a Treant falls in the middle of a forest...onto a gnome with silence cast on the area...does the uhhh...ahh screw it.
EvilPettingZoo 01-03-04, 01:43 AM	The teplate mentioned is Draconic Creature from Dragon #301. There are dragon ancestors far enough back that it doesn't matter what kind they are.
Erik_Steel 01-03-04, 10:30 AM	Let's deal with these one at a time shall we. Originally posted by Glide What would your Strength score need to be to send a halfling into orbit? I'm going to say 65, no real reason why it just sounds like a good number. What do the gods do when they think no one is looking? This ones easy They go bowling. If a Treant falls in the middle of a forest...onto a gnome with silence cast on the area...does the uhhh...ahh screw it. No, because there's a silence spell cast.
Raymond_Luxury_Yacht 01-03-04, 02:37 PM	Originally posted by Glide What would your Strength score need to be to send a halfling into orbit? 42. :D
Arilou_skiff 01-03-04, 02:50 PM	Originally posted by Glide If a Treant falls in the middle of a forest...onto a gnome with silence cast on the area...does the uhhh...ahh screw it. I don't know what an Uhhh...ahh is, but my guess is that it would not screw the treant. Possibly the gnome though.
The Swedish Viking 01-03-04, 03:20 PM	I claim that treants are small, gnomes big, and rabbits red as the phlaegm of a Drow. That being said, i henceforth ask thee what it would take to cook a goblin in a vat of fat?
Arilou_skiff 01-03-04, 04:10 PM	Originally posted by The Swedish Viking I claim that treants are small, gnomes big, and rabbits red as the phlaegm of a Drow. That being said, i henceforth ask thee what it would take to cook a goblin in a vat of fat? 1. vat of fat. 2. At least one goblin, not too fat, since we'll be cooking him in it, preferably he should be skinny actually. 3. Some seasoning, curry is good. 4. a fire. 5. Insert goblin into vat of fat. Wait for 10 minutes. 6. Insert curry. 7. Let boil for 20 minutes or until the goblin turns yellow, add curry as per taste.
The Swedish Viking 01-03-04, 04:33 PM	Very well, then i askeeth thee, how would a Half-dragon, half-celestial, half-fiend half-orc look? I needeth the description ASAP.
Arilou_skiff 01-03-04, 04:43 PM	Originally posted by The Swedish Viking Very well, then i askeeth thee, how would a Half-dragon, half-celestial, half-fiend half-orc look? I needeth the description ASAP. Take a half orc. Add scales, green. Add a pair of bat-like wings and a perpetual cloud of black smoke coming from his nostrils. Add another pair of feathery wings and a halo of light.
The Swedish Viking 01-03-04, 04:45 PM	Uuueewww....
The Ethereal Wickerman 01-03-04, 05:11 PM	I have a few questions... 1) Do fat Hound Archons look like Pugs?. 2) What would happen if a Musteval, Coure and Lantern Archon fell into a magical, genetic hybridizing machine?. 3) Why are Shocker Lizards so unbelievably cute?. 4) If a Gnoll, Bugbear and a Hobgoblin were to lose some weight, wear black clothes and form a rock band, would they resemble Black Rebel Motorcycle Club?. (dont worry, im kidding... I love BRMC...);) 5) If a Dragonkin became a Dragonslayer, would he or she become an oxymoron and disappear?. 6) Am I the only who thinks anthropomorphic Shocker Lizards would be cool?. 7) Some Alienist wizards have claimed that the material plane (if not all other planes) are actually massive cysts in the Far Realm that have trapped cosmological rules within themselves. If this is true, then it would possible to (under the right circumstances) to pierce the cyst of reality and bend the rules. If so, could a DM not say that a normal house cat could turn into a colossal paragon psionic gibbering mouther in a instant, turn into a Shocker Lizard, then turn back into a colossal paragon psionic gibbering mouther?. (no seriously, I had this argument with a friend of mine...) 8) What would happen if a Shedu had a shave?. 9) Are Drow really that evil?, or just mis"under"stood?.(im so sorry, I couldn't resist...) :D 10) Would you have to completly whacked out of your skull not to notice a Wolf-In-Sheeps-Clothing from an ordinary tree stump inhabited by a small rodent of some sort?. 11) Whats worse, an oil slick that kills hundread if not thousands of birds, fish and merfolk; or a Reekmurk?. Think carefully now...:teach: 12) Who thinks Mustevals, Course and Lantern Archons are actually some sort of celestial parasites?. Think about it. Mustevals represent non of the five companions, course litter the forests of court of stars and Lantern Archons are as rife as pidgeons in heaven!... :mad: 13) Do you think Shocker Lizards are cute?. 14) Who else thinks Marilyn Manson is actually Graz'zt in disguise? 15) Do you not like Shocker Lizards?, do you think Shocker Lizards are stupid?, are you a Shocker Lizard hater?, are you?, ARE YOU!?... 16) As an extension of Swedish Vikings question, what would a Half-Celestial Half-Dragon Half-Orc look like "IF"... it was also Gelatinous and a Half-Fey?... You've asked for it really, any chance to ask some stupid questions me...:rolleyes: [incidently if anyone cany actually answer any, I would be very grateful and amused]
SirisC 01-03-04, 05:43 PM	the answer to all shocker lizard questions is this: A shocker lizard is the DnD pikachu, but a shocker lizard isnt lame.
Erik_Steel 01-03-04, 05:56 PM	Okay the amusement begins. One at a time. Originally posted by The Ethereal Wickerman I have a few questions... 1) Do fat Hound Archons look like Pugs?. No, Fat hound archons look like fat hound archons. 2) What would happen if a Musteval, Coure and Lantern Archon fell into a magical, genetic hybridizing machine?. It would be one messed up Archon. 3) Why are Shocker Lizards so unbelievably cute?. They are an offshoot of a race of electric mammals call pikachu (Pikachi=Plural) This odd species has the ability to mate with any creature. The offspring of such unions will be endowed with electric properties while retaining either one parents or the others appearance. They also gain the inate ability to sicken other creatures with their cuteness. 4) If a Gnoll, Bugbear and a Hobgoblin were to lose some weight, wear black clothes and form a rock band, would they resemble Black Rebel Motorcycle Club?. (dont worry, im kidding... I love BRMC...);) I'm gonna take a guess and so yes. 5) If a Dragonkin became a Dragonslayer, would he or she become an oxymoron and disappear?. No, because oxymorons exist despite being inable to co-exist. Common examples include Military intelligence, pre-heat, near miss. 6) Am I the only who thinks anthropomorphic Shocker Lizards would be cool?. No do you have some odd obsession with shocker lizards? 7) Some Alienist wizards have claimed that the material plane (if not all other planes) are actually massive cysts in the Far Realm that have trapped cosmological rules within themselves. If this is true, then it would possible to (under the right circumstances) to pierce the cyst of reality and bend the rules. If so, could a DM not say that a normal house cat could turn into a colossal paragon psionic gibbering mouther in a instant, turn into a Shocker Lizard, then turn back into a colossal paragon psionic gibbering mouther?. (no seriously, I had this argument with a friend of mine...) It could happen, magic is a prime example of said pierce. Magic simply controls the pierce into tiny pricks much as a doctor takes a blood sample. 8) What would happen if a Shedu had a shave?. Half way there it would be just a she. Doesn't have a du anymore 9) Are Drow really that evil?, or just mis"under"stood?.(im so sorry, I couldn't resist...) :D They are just misunderstood. The world of the drow is one of forced pretenses, the males are overly dominated by the female which are in turn overly dominated by a goddess that simply uses them for entertainment. The same problems can be found in human society. The disfunctional family wil often create unruly people without even trying. Brain-washing also occurs as was shown in Homeland by: R.A. Salvatore. Many of those students may have been like-minded to Drizzt but do to brainwashing and social presures they gave up to constant struggle of morality. 10) Would you have to completly whacked out of your skull not to notice a Wolf-In-Sheeps-Clothing from an ordinary tree stump inhabited by a small rodent of some sort?. Yes 11) Whats worse, an oil slick that kills hundread if not thousands of birds, fish and merfolk; or a Reekmurk?. Think carefully now...:teach: I don't know what a reekmurk is so I will say yes. 12) Who thinks Mustevals, Course and Lantern Archons are actually some sort of celestial parasites?. Think about it. Mustevals represent non of the five companions, course litter the forests of court of stars and Lantern Archons are as rife as pidgeons in heaven!... :mad: perhaps more of a symbiosis then a parasite 13) Do you think Shocker Lizards are cute?. what kind of cute. Kitten cute or just cute. Just cute would be the appropriate answer 14) Who else thinks Marilyn Manson is actually Graz'zt in disguise? No, Graz'zt is actually cool. Manson is just some sick freak that half of hollywood wants to beat the crap outta 15) Do you not like Shocker Lizards?, do you think Shocker Lizards are stupid?, are you a Shocker Lizard hater?, are you?, ARE YOU!?... I am firm in my beleif that you have an unhealthy obsession with shocker lizards. I am however indifferent on the subject. 16) As an extension of Swedish Vikings question, what would a Half-Celestial Half-Dragon Half-Orc look like "IF"... it was also Gelatinous and a Half-Fey?... a winged piece of jello with a nifty glow to it. You've asked for it really, any chance to ask some stupid questions me...:rolleyes: [incidently if anyone cany actually answer any, I would be very grateful and amused] [/B] wow, I finished, and most likely timed out so let's give this a try. ctrl+a, ctrl+c, ctrl+v
The Ethereal Wickerman 01-04-04, 04:22 AM	Okay the amusement begins. One at a time. No, Fat hound archons look like fat hound archons. But do all Hound Archons look like those red mastiff-type thingies that you see in the MM?. It would be one messed up Archon. I've just figured it out!. A glowing white-haired fairy with digigrade legs and a tail!. And would it be a Archon?. Afterall Mustevals are Guardinals and Coure are Eladrins... They are an offshoot of a race of electric mammals call pikachu (Pikachi=Plural) This odd species has the ability to mate with any creature. The offspring of such unions will be endowed with electric properties while retaining either one parents or the others appearance. They also gain the inate ability to sicken other creatures with their cuteness. And so, the cycle of life continues... :D I'm gonna take a guess and so yes. Sorry about that, its just the rocker in me... ;) No, because oxymorons exist despite being inable to co-exist. Common examples include Military intelligence, pre-heat, near miss. Ah, I guess so. You sure made me look stupid... :embarrass No do you have some odd obsession with shocker lizards? Yes I do, how can you not?... It could happen, magic is a prime example of said pierce. Magic simply controls the pierce into tiny pricks much as a doctor takes a blood sample. Hmm, good point... Half way there it would be just a she. Doesn't have a du anymore LOL They are just misunderstood. The world of the drow is one of forced pretenses, the males are overly dominated by the female which are in turn overly dominated by a goddess that simply uses them for entertainment. The same problems can be found in human society. The disfunctional family wil often create unruly people without even trying. Brain-washing also occurs as was shown in Homeland by: R.A. Salvatore. Many of those students may have been like-minded to Drizzt but do to brainwashing and social presures they gave up to constant struggle of morality. Hmm, you took that particular question more seriously than I thought you would. But your point is valid non-the-less. I guess are only evil due to their culture and religion. I guess its a lot like Nazi germany at the time (I hope no one minds me bringing that up) Yes Thank you, someone who agrees with me. Stupidest monster i've ever seen. Probably one of the reasons I think its so cool!...:P I don't know what a reekmurk is so I will say yes. Its a big ooze from the Fiend Folio that looks like a moving sheet of oil slick. perhaps more of a symbiosis then a parasite Now I think about it they seem more like Vermin to me. Hell I dont mind, they can come overpopulate this world whenever they like if you ask me... what kind of cute. Kitten cute or just cute. Just cute would be the appropriate answer Depends who ask. Do you think they are kitten cute or just cute?... No, Graz'zt is actually cool. Manson is just some sick freak that half of hollywood wants to beat the crap outta Whoops, sorry. I dont know that much about him, but I like some of his music... I am firm in my beleif that you have an unhealthy obsession with shocker lizards. I am however indifferent on the subject. Well duh!... :P a winged piece of jello with a nifty glow to it. But remember, its a half-dragon, half-celestial, gelatinous, half-fey half-orc; not just a gelatinous half-fey blob of... gelatinous... half... ??? :confused: Thanks for answering my ridiculous questions my friend...:D
Erik_Steel 01-04-04, 09:54 AM	My pleasure TEW, I rather enjoy answering some ridiculous and/or stupid questions every now and then. Anyone have any ridiculous/stupid questions they'd like me to answer?
The Swedish Viking 01-04-04, 10:08 AM	Yup. What is forty-two? 2. How many roads must a goblin walk down? 3. Fifty four. 4. Kobolds must be the most intelligent race of all. Think about it! They have INT 10 - 11, but still they have managed to pull of a ploy so that everybody think that they are stupid! Thus, Kobolds shall outsmart everybody and ultimately rule the world! 5. What do you think about a lvl 10 rogue/lvl 5 thaumaturgist/lvl 5 wizard Kobold Lich BBEG?
The Ethereal Wickerman 01-04-04, 10:16 AM	Yup. What is forty-two? Errh, its a number?... :confused: 2. How many roads must a goblin walk down? Depends where its heading. If it wants to get to the local tavern, probably about 2 or 3. But if wants to get to the Far Realm then it better pack its bags... 3. Fifty four. :confused: 4. Kobolds must be the most intelligent race of all. Think about it! They have INT 10 - 11, but still they have managed to pull of a ploy so that everybody think that they are stupid! Thus, Kobolds shall outsmart everybody and ultimately rule the world! Your close, but it is really the Shocker Lizards. How they crush the wills of seemingly smarter beings by reducing them into mushy big-girls blouses at their mere presence. Such subtely, such elegance... 5. What do you think about a lvl 10 rogue/lvl 5 thaumaturgist/lvl 5 wizard Kobold Lich BBEG? That sounds absolutely, but one small problem. Where do Shocker Lizards come into that?...;)
Erik_Steel 01-04-04, 10:25 AM	Here we go. Originally posted by The Swedish Viking Yup. What is forty-two? The meaning of life the universe and everything. Thanks for the easy one to start with. 2. How many roads must a goblin walk down? That answer my friend is blowin' in the wind. 3. Fifty four. Bottles of beer on the wall, 54 bottles of beer... 4. Kobolds must be the most intelligent race of all. Think about it! They have INT 10 - 11, but still they have managed to pull of a ploy so that everybody think that they are stupid! Thus, Kobolds shall outsmart everybody and ultimately rule the world! exactly, which is why it's disappointing that WotC did their Elite opponents and only added templates rather then discussing team tactics and trap making. That simply perpetuated the myth that Kobolds are less then worthy enemies. The kobold has every advantage on the battle field except actual physical strength. The kobold is described as a cunning adversary using traps and sheer numbers to their advantage. A smart kobold will shape the battle field to what they want. Lure a group of adventurers into a cave where the only outlets are intertwined and connected tunnels 3' around. Their size means they can move freely and faster then the gnomes and halflings that are chasing them. Their trapmaking in that small of a tunnel means the victims are at a sore disadvantage when pursuing. Let's not forget the favored class of sorcerer means magical traps as well. I'd like to see anyone other then a rogue halfing evade a lightning bolt down those tunnels. 5. What do you think about a lvl 10 rogue/lvl 5 thaumaturgist/lvl 5 wizard Kobold Lich BBEG? The bowels move as we type. there you go
Erik_Steel 01-04-04, 10:28 AM	Originally posted by The Ethereal Wickerman Your close, but it is really the Shocker Lizards. How they crush the wills of seemingly smarter beings by reducing them into mushy big-girls blouses at their mere presence. Such subtely, such elegance... That sounds absolutely, but one small problem. Where do Shocker Lizards come into that?...;) familliars Another question down.
The Swedish Viking 01-04-04, 10:32 AM	Hmmm... in what way are lamps, magical traps, a goblin and a piece of wood carved with the image of a book connected to each other? Why do IKEA furniture almost always miss some part, even though there are no goblins or Kender operating the company?
Erik_Steel 01-04-04, 10:41 AM	Originally posted by The Swedish Viking Hmmm... in what way are lamps, magical traps, a goblin and a piece of wood carved with the image of a book connected to each other? When heat is applied they all go up in flames. Looks like an interesting form of goblin stew a favorite meal of ogres. Why do IKEA furniture almost always miss some part, even though there are no goblins or Kender operating the company? The answer to this question is the same as why does my company screw up my paycheck so often. The answer Corporations the same problem with Shadowrun worlds. Corporations don't care about the average joe on the street, if they can kick him in the gut and not get caught that's fine by them. One or two hundred complaints don't matter all that much it's when the victim grows fangs that everyone gets jumpy.
Factol Rhys 01-04-04, 11:05 AM	Originally posted by Mordenkainen's Rubber Duck of DOOM So if your grandfather was a Red Dragon, your grandmother was a Human, your grandpa on the other side was a Blue Dragon, and your grandma that has a child with him was a Succubus, then your parents were a Half-Red Dragon Human and a Half-Blue Dragon Fiend. So, their mating (which has no chance in *chuckle* Baator, but it's still possible) would produce a Half-Red Half-Blue Dragon Half-Fiend Human. Actually, your parents would be a Half-Red Dragon and an Alu-fiend, as is the inevitable offspring of a succubus and anything. An Alu-fiend is a tanar'ri, so you might be eligible for the half-fiend template, but I would say she wasn't powerful enough to warrant all those abilities. You wouldn't be a half-dragon, as neither of your parents were a dragon. If I were DMing, I would give you a watered-down version of the template, at best.
Primus, the One and Prime 01-06-04, 08:01 PM	Hey. I finlly found out how much Str it would take to put a Halfling in orbit. Thanks to VisionofMalkav (from the Realms of Evil forums) for spending nearly an hour calculating. The answer is something near, 3,000,000.
Kojiro James 01-06-04, 11:37 PM	Originally posted by Lord Tarran Well, in the case of a fire elemental, a horny red dragon. Anyway, when I started that bit I meant Tarrasque is the most powerful land beast. There is only one. Leviathan is the same thing for the sea. I want to know what the beast of the air is. Answering this one finally.... Maybe it's the Thunder Worm?
Lord Tarran 01-07-04, 10:09 PM	Thunder worms would be, except for one small problem. There is more than one. I'm looking for a one of a kind beast of the air, that is simply unkillable (tarraquse and leviathan for earth and sea.)
bitnine 01-07-04, 10:15 PM	Originally posted by Erik_Steel They are an offshoot of a race of electric mammals call pikachu (Pikachi=Plural) This odd species has the ability to mate with any creature. That ability isn't all that unique. It's just that some (members of some) races have the judgement not to exercise it in certain situations.
Erik_Steel 01-09-04, 01:20 AM	Originally posted by bitnine That ability isn't all that unique. It's just that some (members of some) races have the judgement not to exercise it in certain situations. Funny. I used mate in terms of having offspring.
SirisC 01-09-04, 01:31 AM	Originally posted by Erik_Steel Funny. I used mate in terms of having offspring. so did bitnine. My question: If a tarresque was infected with the quickest acting and most lethal form of ebola, whould it die? I think it probably would not, but would be contagious for centuries to come.
Mergandisevender 01-09-04, 02:44 AM	Rodan is the big scary air thing. It was answered already. Anything that's Half-Celestial and Half-Fiendish blows up upon becomming an adventurer.
FLKD19 01-09-04, 12:45 PM	1. How much chuck could a chuckwood wood if a chuckwood could wood chuck? 2. If a pc was in an antimagic field and a mage with true strike casted thew a magically miniaturized 10 ton boulder at him using telekinesis while flying high above thanks to a fly spell, just how much pain is said pc in? 3. What if said pc were a pixie? 4. Just who the hell lets pc's be pixies anyway. 5. Or who would want to be one anyway? 6. Half-Fey, Half-Dragon. Is there anyone else who sees something wrong with this? 7. Why is it called tourist season if you cant hunt em? 8. Just who is this "DM" guy anyway and who does he think he is, playing god(s) and all?! 9. How could this party work: LG Drow Paladin, CE Half-celestial high elf rogue, LN Dwarf Sorceror, and N Gully Dwarf Cleric of Kord. 10. Just how would a dragon acquire all that treasure anyway? Isn't it a bit difficult to move all the gold around when all you got are those giant claws? Ok...so i was bored. And tired....and bored...
FLKD19 01-09-04, 12:45 PM	oops
RavynBR 01-09-04, 02:35 PM	Alrighty.... I patiently read through everything, so NOW, fear my mighty ANSWERS!!! 1) Do fat Hound Archons look like Pugs?. No, they don't. Though I'm sure that somewhere in the heavens there are a sub-race of Hound Archons that ARE in fact, Pugs. 2) What would happen if a Musteval, Coure and Lantern Archon fell into a magical, genetic hybridizing machine?. Generally very little, however, I'd pick one of them and add the Half-Celestial Template. Depends on which one has the largest atomic mass and/or volume 3) Why are Shocker Lizards so unbelievably cute?. I consider it a ploy. Remember, they're DEADLY in packs. So one of them comes up to you and nuzzles your ankles. This is where you run. If, however, you're foolish enough to sit still while it gets close and you're taken in by its cuteness, be prepared for the massive discharge the next round when its 10 friends show up. 4) If a Gnoll, Bugbear and a Hobgoblin were to lose some weight, wear black clothes and form a rock band, would they resemble Black Rebel Motorcycle Club?. (dont worry, im kidding... I love BRMC...) Do you really need to ask this? The answer should be obvious! (note the careful avoidance of question answering) 5) If a Dragonkin became a Dragonslayer, would he or she become an oxymoron and disappear?. Not especially, they'd either take their genetic injustice as truth of the attrocities of dragons and use their natural abilities to pass off as a friend of dragons to get close and kill them. Or he'd be filled with self loathing and plan to rid the world of dragons, and then kill himself once he was the last. 6) Am I the only who thinks anthropomorphic Shocker Lizards would be cool?. Yes, I'm afraid you are my friend. And I would have to take your obsession with the desire to be one of them as indication that you are a covert operative for the Shocker Lizard Liberation Allicance (SLLA) and I'm afraid I can not allow you to live any longer. 7) Some Alienist wizards have claimed that the material plane (if not all other planes) are actually massive cysts in the Far Realm that have trapped cosmological rules within themselves. If this is true, then it would possible to (under the right circumstances) to pierce the cyst of reality and bend the rules. If so, could a DM not say that a normal house cat could turn into a colossal paragon psionic gibbering mouther in a instant, turn into a Shocker Lizard, then turn back into a colossal paragon psionic gibbering mouther?. (no seriously, I had this argument with a friend of mine...) They COULD. I would simply advise against doing anything of the sort due to the obvious ramifications. And I can see where you're going with this. You're trying to pierce reality in order to become one with your Shocker Lizard brothers. Well, I won't allow you to do that on my watch! 8) What would happen if a Shedu had a shave?. I reference the previous observation of the imminent gender alterations inherent in the removal of said facial accessories. 9) Are Drow really that evil?, or just mis"under"stood?.(im so sorry, I couldn't resist...) You're just jealous that they get more attention than your precious shocker lizards. And no, they're not really that evil... They lack the drive and ambition to be REALLY evil. 10) Would you have to completly whacked out of your skull not to notice a Wolf-In-Sheeps-Clothing from an ordinary tree stump inhabited by a small rodent of some sort?. If you notice it, then the Wolf is doing an inferior job of disguising himself. 11) Whats worse, an oil slick that kills hundread if not thousands of birds, fish and merfolk; or a Reekmurk?. Think carefully now... Knowing now what a Reekmurk is, I really think the question comes down to.... do we really NEED that many merfolk? I mean, seriously... what do they contribute to productive human society? I say we train a few Reekmurks to hunt them down and destroy them all. 12) Who thinks Mustevals, Course and Lantern Archons are actually some sort of celestial parasites?. Think about it. Mustevals represent non of the five companions, course litter the forests of court of stars and Lantern Archons are as rife as pidgeons in heaven!... They're not parasites. Think of them as the goblins of heaven. It's what the silly celestials get to clean up their rooms. 13) Do you think Shocker Lizards are cute?. I've already weighed in on the evils of Shocker Lizards. If you haven't yet realized the perils mankind is in from their existance, please read my previous arguments. 14) Who else thinks Marilyn Manson is actually Graz'zt in disguise? A good disguise would never allow you to ask that question. I think it's actually somebody trying to dress up AS Graz'zt and just ended up looking silly. 15) Do you not like Shocker Lizards?, do you think Shocker Lizards are stupid?, are you a Shocker Lizard hater?, are you?, ARE YOU!?... I think by now you and I both know that I AM a Shocker Lizard hater! They MUST be eliminated! 16) As an extension of Swedish Vikings question, what would a Half-Celestial Half-Dragon Half-Orc look like "IF"... it was also Gelatinous and a Half-Fey?... In fact, glowing jello IS a good answer.... Probably green flavored. NEXT! Yup. What is forty-two? The answer to Life, the Universe and Everything. The question, by the way, is "What do you get when you multiply six by nine?" 2. How many roads must a goblin walk down? The answer is in fact blowing in the wind. And from my experience, after about 3 roads and a meeting with a not so friendly wizard, so is the goblin. 3. Fifty four. Conicidentally, ALSO what you get when you multiply six by nine.... 4. Kobolds must be the most intelligent race of all. Think about it! They have INT 10 - 11, but still they have managed to pull of a ploy so that everybody think that they are stupid! Thus, Kobolds shall outsmart everybody and ultimately rule the world! So does the average human.... Which is how they are able to so easily slip past the expected defenses and errect NEW defenses! The funniest thing to do to a party is to have a group of Kobolds break into their castle and rewire all of their traps... 5. What do you think about a lvl 10 rogue/lvl 5 thaumaturgist/lvl 5 wizard Kobold Lich BBEG? Not very much for very long. I think he may in fact be 1 caster level short of being a lich, but I could be wrong about that. Generally I laugh for about 3 seconds before realizing exactly what's going on. Then I'm usually dead, because while his disintegrate may only be 20d6, the extra 5d6 sneak attack hurts like you wouldn't believe.... NEXT! 1. How much chuck could a chuckwood wood if a chuckwood could wood chuck? I believe the answer is obvious and my extensive field testing has shown me that the answer varies between 5 and 5.8 with a 1 sigma standard deviation. 2. If a pc was in an antimagic field and a mage with true strike casted thew a magically miniaturized 10 ton boulder at him using telekinesis while flying high above thanks to a fly spell, just how much pain is said pc in? Not very much. You'd be amazed at how fast your pain receptors stop working when they're oozing out of your nose. 3. What if said pc were a pixie? Smaller body means fewer pain receptors to exit via nostrals. 4. Just who the hell lets pc's be pixies anyway. People who plan to put them in anti-magic fields and hit them with big rocks apparently... 5. Or who would want to be one anyway? Based on the staggering statistics involving magical rock related fatalities among the pixie population, I know I wouldn't! 6. Half-Fey, Half-Dragon. Is there anyone else who sees something wrong with this? No.... Green dragons live in forrests..... What's wrong with sleeping with your neighbors? And there ARE some pretty large fey if that's what you're refering to! 7. Why is it called tourist season if you cant hunt em? You can't?! Ooops.... 8. Just who is this "DM" guy anyway and who does he think he is, playing god(s) and all?! Actually, that would be me. And if you haven't noticed, I feel rather qualified for my job. Now, BOW BEFORE ME MORTAL!!! 9. How could this party work: LG Drow Paladin, CE Half-celestial high elf rogue, LN Dwarf Sorceror, and N Gully Dwarf Cleric of Kord. Umm... Half-Celestials can't be evil.... And other than that, they'll work out just fine. As long as the gully dwarf can distract the paladin with something shiny every time the rogue wants to do something useful. 10. Just how would a dragon acquire all that treasure anyway? Isn't it a bit difficult to move all the gold around when all you got are those giant claws? Who says all they've got is those giant claws? Up until they're powerful enough to know mage hand, they're generally small enough to manipulate fine objects.... After all, why should a size M dragon be any LESS capable than a size M person. Or a Size L dragon vs a size L Ogre?! Ok, I think that's quite enough out of me.....
Mithral Icesilver 01-09-04, 04:55 PM	Originally posted by RavynBR Yup. What is forty-two? [b]The answer to Life, the Universe and Everything. The question, by the way, is "What do you get when you multiply six by nine?" No, the question is "Pick a number, any number." Read the part in Life, the Universe, and Everything where Marvin is talking to the Squornshellous Beta mattress.
Rinian2 01-10-04, 02:36 AM	I have a question. Does anyone know what the average wing speed of a sparrow is? No, actually that's not my question. My real question is ... (bear with me there's a bit of background) I read in one of my old 2nd edition books that one of the random ways to destroy an artifact is to have an ant walk over it. Now, to my question ... If the ant walks over the Hand of Vecna, thus destroying it, will the ant survive Vecna's wrath?
Silveron 01-10-04, 05:22 AM	"What would your strength score need to be to send a halfling into orbit?" 46 Been there.Done that.:angel:
Erik_Steel 01-10-04, 10:13 AM	No, the ant will be obliterated by the hand of Vecna for even thinking(?) it could destroy it by walking on it.
Raymond_Luxury_Yacht 01-10-04, 01:54 PM	Originally posted by Mithral Icesilver No, the question is "Pick a number, any number." Read the part in Life, the Universe, and Everything where Marvin is talking to the Squornshellous Beta mattress. No, it is, and I quote, "What do you get when you multiply six by nine?".
niesl 01-10-04, 03:48 PM	Originally posted by Rinian2 If the ant walks over the Hand of Vecna, thus destroying it, will the ant survive Vecna's wrath? This makes me wonder what happens if you cast a ressurection spell on the Hand of Vecna, The Eye of Vecna or the Eye of Gruumsh?
Ob_Deamon 01-10-04, 04:02 PM	The question is precicely not "what do you get when you multiply six by nine", as the scrable board showed, because Aurthor Dent and humanity in general are a cockup in the workings of the great computer Earth. What would happen if you created a natural conduit to the Far Realms, ran it though the negative energy plane (adding the negetive energy to the Far Realm energies), and then ran all that right into the Lady of Pain?
Primus, the One and Prime 01-10-04, 04:13 PM	She'd probably stumble a little. And then the Negative Energy plane would completely implode, as would the entire structure of the Inner Planes as the Far Realms tore them apart. And noone would miss them. Stupid genies.
Mordenkainen's Rubber Duck of DOOM 01-13-04, 07:00 PM	Originally posted by RavynBR "What do you get when you multiply six by nine?" "Nobody writes jokes in base thirteen!" -* *Correction: IIRC, actually, it wasn't Douglas Adams who said that.
Boondoggle 01-13-04, 07:43 PM	Does anyone know what the average wing speed of a sparrow is? If you mean "What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?" then, yes, I do: Estimating the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow (http://www.style.org/unladenswallow/)
Tevish Szat 01-13-04, 08:54 PM	Originally posted by Glide What would your Strength score need to be to send a halfling into orbit? 1. You see, the trick is that you need at least 1str to move. you then become an epic wizard and cast nailed to the sky on the halfling.
Primus, the One and Prime 01-13-04, 08:57 PM	That's not throwing him up there, that's casting him. 2,000,000 is around the Str needed. We did the math (I did not do the math, someone else did).
Raymond_Luxury_Yacht 01-13-04, 09:05 PM	How many points of damage does one need to do to punch a hole straight through the Earth? I'm serious. I want to know.
Tevish Szat 01-13-04, 11:47 PM	Originally posted by Primus, the One and Prime That's not throwing him up there, that's casting him. 2,000,000 is around the Str needed. We did the math (I did not do the math, someone else did). he only said 'send'!
Factol Rhys 01-14-04, 12:18 AM	Well, stone has a hardness of 8 and 15 hit points per inch of thickness. The Earth has a diameter of 25,512.6 km, or about 15,817 miles. This turns into 1,002,165,120 inches. In DnD terms, the Earth has 15,032,476,800 hit points. Man, that must mean that the Death Star can deal over 15 billion damage. That's one big laser.
The Swedish Viking 01-14-04, 09:22 AM	It blows the planet up too, mind you. Iīd say that the Death Star does at least 30 billion points of damage. Now calculate how much damage a Star Destroyer does against another similar construct (or even a TIE-fighter)!
The Swedish Viking 01-14-04, 09:24 AM	Oh, and, of courswe... 1. What would happen if a Gnome used his magic to teleport himself and a gigantic clony of Kender from Krynn and Ansalon to Faerûn? Would it not be cool!? 2. Sppose that said Kender actually decides to go visit the new worldīs deities. What would then happen? Suppose they bring a bathing duck?
Riznar 01-14-04, 01:02 PM	I've got one Has anyone found a use for a paragon shrieker?
Marco Polaris 01-14-04, 03:37 PM	1: If kobolds hate everybody, why do some claim to be ancestors of dragons? 2: If goblins are so dumb, why do they average 10-11 Intelligence? 3: If goblins are so smart, why have they been using the same unsuccessful tactics (use big numbers, bring big friends, and occasionally throw in the occasional haphazard trap in) for three & a half editions? 4: Hobgoblins are lawful. Drow are Chaotic. Hobgoblin forces are typically commanded by a clever mid-level tactician of their own race who cares about results (though he isn't always in charge). Drow forces are typically commanded by priestesses of Lolth who are taught simply to throw the fodder (other races) at the opponent, then cast some fancy summoning spells and stand in some visible area gloating at the enemy while their main army attacks (with summmoned allies). The hobgoblin deity, Maglubiyet, believes in conquest and success in battle; in other words, he's low maintenance. Lolth requires her followers to fight each other constantly to earn her favor through backstabbing, as well as lengthy rituals that must be performed no matter what the situation is and which usually cost a significant amount of community resources (slaves which could otherwise be used for labor). Maglubiyet is the hobgoblin god of war. Lolth is the drow god of spiders! The question is, why do hobgoblins constantly find themselves working for drow, and why can't they improve their standards of living? (double question yes, but who cares?[rhetorical, don't answer]) On the side note, I always thought you could apply the half-dragon template only once. Sure, there are different breeds of dragon, but if a person's grandfather (father's side) was a Hound Archon, and his mother was a Solar, you wouldn't give him the Half-Celestial Template twice!!
RavynBR 01-20-04, 12:38 PM	1) What do the two have to do with each other? I hate you and I claim to be decended from monkeys.... is there a connection? not really. (and for the record, I don't REALLY hate you, just mild despising) 2) They average an intelligence capable of forming a civilization. However... 3) their lack of physical prowess is a known weakness to them (INT 10-11), so they compensate with high numbers, physically strong allies and occational traps to reduce their opponents to their own level. These are mob tactics of a physically weak race, not one with below average intelligence. 4) Because drow have a higher tendancy to weild power. What you miss is that both races are evil. Thus, the drow, being chaotic, will barge in and overrun the hobgoblins while the lawful hobgoblins are still formulating a plan. As an asside to this, they should NEVER be working together, as they live nowhere near each other! (people just like drow being big evil things) And you're right. Apply half-dragon only once unless you've got an unusual situation....
Mithral Icesilver 01-20-04, 06:07 PM	Well, you don't apply Half-Celestial twice because you wouldn't get a difference, except mabey Twinned spell-likes, or double the uses per day. And double the resistances. On the other hand, if you apply Half-Dragon twice with different dragons, there'd be a difference.
The Swedish Viking 01-21-04, 02:27 AM	Cut the crap! This thread wasnīt mean to be *dreadful voice* SERIOUS!
The Ethereal Wickerman 01-21-04, 08:35 AM	Originally posted by The Swedish Viking Cut the crap! This thread wasnīt mean to be *dreadful voice* SERIOUS! Thank you Swedish Viking...:) 1) Is winnie the pooh an Ursinal? 2) If you give a Banshee the Feral template, do you get a 'Primal Scream'?...;) (lovely band) 3) If an Archon became vampiric, would it drain its victims of ambrosia rather than blood? (actually a fairly serious question, sorry SK!)
The Swedish Viking 01-21-04, 10:37 AM	2. No, probably not. You would get something loud and hairy, and in desperate need of someone who can teach her how to talk properly. I got an idea; make an adventure about the lonely Banshee; whou just want some company and tries to call out to passers-by to get their attention. 3. Archon? Does it even have teeth? Or body? Or even.... organs? Think about it. How does it work? I mean, it ainīt got any brains nor organs... no arms...
Arilou_skiff 01-21-04, 11:38 AM	Also, I believe Outsiders cannot become undead :) My questions: 1. Why have not Giant Space Hamsters (and all their variations, including Miniature giant Space Hamsters, Sabre-toothed Giant Space Hamsters, Flying Fire-breathing Giant Space Hamsters, Phase Doppleganger Carnivorous giant space hamsters, Tyrannohamsterus Rex and Hamster of III Omen ("Wooly Rupert") been converted into 3.5 ed? 2. Why are there no moose-folk? There are lizardmen, fish-people, horse-people and yak-folk, but no moose-folk. 3. What's the deal with Shocker Lizards anyway? 4. Am I the only one that think Illithids rule all, secretly? Or am I just a victim of their Charm Person ability?
The Swedish Viking 01-21-04, 12:39 PM	1. Because, as the name implies, a Giant Space Hamster would require GIGANTIC TEXT, and a miniature space hamster, well, you get the picture. And, theyīd probably eat their way out of the rules and into this plane... I HAVE TO CREATE A RESISTANCE! 3. Dunno. Maybe they electric-schocked everybody into obeying and worshipping them?
Shemeska the Marauder 01-22-04, 12:44 AM	Originally posted by Arilou_skiff 4. Am I the only one that think Illithids rule all, secretly? Or am I just a victim of their Charm Person ability? No, but as far as the answer to the question of who rules all secretly, the correct answer is the Yugoloths. That's right, the Yugoloths. :D
SirisC 01-22-04, 12:47 AM	Originally posted by Shemeska the Marauder No, but as far as the answer to the question of who rules all secretly, the correct answer is the Yugoloths. That's right, the Yugoloths. :D But who rules the Yugoloths? Answer: me
Masterful_Norg 01-22-04, 01:57 AM	Here's a doozy: What in game effect would occur if a player were to succeed on this following wish?: 1."I wish that I could, under any circumstances, be able to truthfully say, and I quote, 'I only tell lies', without the meaning of the words used to phrase this wish being modified in any way or the alteration of my current desire to speak said phrase out of sincerity." 2.What is the base score in charisma or number of ranks in bluff required to successfully convince Heironeous that he doesn't exist? 3.How many tankards of regular Ale would it take to get the Tarrasque drunk? 4.If the Terrasque were to sign a contract somehow and then break it in an ill manner, how many inevitables would it take to bring it down using only toothbrushes? 5.If the Terrasque and Rhodan were to duke it out who would win? 6.What if the Terrasque was armed with a +1 keen Gargantuan sized toothbrush? 7.In your oppinion, which creature in D&D resembles big bird the most? 8.How long would a staring contest between two enemy beholders last, if each one was just waiting for the other to drop its antimagic gaze? 9.What is the devine rank of Heironeous' bathroom camode? 10.What happens to a displacer beast when you add 10 levels of shadow dancer and void desciple to it? Cheers, Masterful_Norg
Boondoggle 01-22-04, 04:49 AM	Originally posted by Masterful_Norg 1."I wish that I could, under any circumstances, be able to truthfully say, and I quote, 'I only tell lies', without the meaning of the words used to phrase this wish being modified in any way or the alteration of my current desire to speak said phrase out of sincerity." "Hey Bob, how's it going?" "Lie. Lie, lie lie lie lie, lie lie lie. Lie lie lie." "Umm, you feelin OK there Bob?" "Lie, lie lie lie!'
Arilou_skiff 01-22-04, 11:55 AM	7.In your oppinion, which creature in D&D resembles big bird the most? The Acherai.
Caltsar 01-22-04, 01:35 PM	A Question: Why is option number 26 missing on the 100 traits table of the 3.5 DMG? (the page is #128) It may or may not still be in my signature...
JayceMD 01-22-04, 02:34 PM	Originally posted by Marco Polaris 4: Hobgoblins are lawful. Drow are Chaotic. Hobgoblin forces are typically commanded by a clever mid-level tactician of their own race who cares about results (though he isn't always in charge). Drow forces are typically commanded by priestesses of Lolth who are taught simply to throw the fodder (other races) at the opponent, then cast some fancy summoning spells and stand in some visible area gloating at the enemy while their main army attacks (with summmoned allies). The hobgoblin deity, Maglubiyet, believes in conquest and success in battle; in other words, he's low maintenance. Lolth requires her followers to fight each other constantly to earn her favor through backstabbing, as well as lengthy rituals that must be performed no matter what the situation is and which usually cost a significant amount of community resources (slaves which could otherwise be used for labor). Maglubiyet is the hobgoblin god of war. Lolth is the drow god of spiders! The question is, why do hobgoblins constantly find themselves working for drow, and why can't they improve their standards of living? (double question yes, but who cares?[rhetorical, don't answer]) I would like to take a moment to point out that drow are (for at least one and a half versions now) neutral evil and not chaotic evil. As for why hobgoblins are typically in drow chains: R. A. Salvatore has not yet been contracted to write a series about a kind-hearted, angst-filled dual-wielding hobgoblin ranger.
The Swedish Viking 01-22-04, 03:25 PM	This thread FINALLY got back on track. :D ' Now, another question. 1. What would you do if you woke up and saw a Schocker Lizard in your bedroom? 2. What if said lizard was making toothbrushes out of your hair? 3. And tried to sell them? ---- 8: Probably until one of the Beholders decided to.... uh... do whatever beholders do. By the by, do you know if beholders have an... uh... hole? If they donīt, then how... du.... they get rid of all "surplus material"?
Arilou_skiff 01-22-04, 03:27 PM	1. Scream. 2. Scream very loudly. 3. Buy them, but not for more than 3-10 SEK.
The Swedish Viking 01-22-04, 03:32 PM	SEK? Is that "Svenska Kronor" or what?
JayceMD 01-22-04, 03:34 PM	Originally posted by The Swedish Viking 8: Probably until one of the Beholders decided to.... uh... do whatever beholders do. By the by, do you know if beholders have an... uh... hole? If they donīt, then how... du.... they get rid of all "surplus material"? Through their mouths. Yes, that's correct -- they both eat and excrete through their mouths. Incidentally, some have also speculated that their reproductive organs are in their mouths as well. No one ever said that they were particularly hygenic.
Knightfall 01-22-04, 07:50 PM	Originally posted by The Swedish Viking This thread FINALLY got back on track. :D ' Now, another question. 1. What would you do if you woke up and saw a Schocker Lizard in your bedroom? I'd know what I'd say, "This is going to hurt..." 2. What if said lizard was making toothbrushes out of your hair? "Ok, I must remember never to play D&D until 3 am EVER again!" 3. And tried to sell them? "I want my cut of the profits you little..." <ZAP> "Ow!"
theplaidknight 01-22-04, 08:52 PM	The real question is, Can a Neh-Thalggu get Mad Cow disease? And yes, I know they'd probably just let the Illithids take that brain, just answer the question. Can a character with dissociative personality disorder (damn political correctness) have PC classes on those personalities that clash alignment-wise like assassin and paladin? What would happen if a mind flayer got its hands on Homer Simpson (keeping in mind the Treehouse of Horror in which the zombies are raised from the graveyard)?
wdarkk 01-22-04, 09:05 PM	Homer, being mindless, is immune to mind affecting effects. The Illithid could still beat his grapple check, but the extract attack would not function.
Keebler 01-22-04, 09:41 PM	Could the animate objects spell be used on lumps of clay in a wrestling ring to cause said lumps of clay to fight each other? (Celebrity Deathmatch)
Ash Grey 01-22-04, 11:38 PM	:D Could you use Flesh to Stone and Stone to Mud to make yourself a mud Elemental?:rolleyes: Better yet what happens if you Airy Water someone? Could they use moisturizer or perhaps a fine lotion to counter the effect?
Salacious Angel 01-23-04, 12:06 AM	Originally posted by Ash Grey :D Could you use Flesh to Stone and Stone to Mud to make yourself a mud Elemental?:rolleyes: No. You'd be dead.
Ash Grey 01-23-04, 12:23 AM	And that, would be why its silly, silly.
SirisC 01-23-04, 01:09 AM	what happens when you do flesh to stone, stone to mud, stir and toss in some gravel, mud to stone, then stone to flesh?
Tevish Szat 01-23-04, 01:24 AM	Originally posted by Shemeska the Marauder No, but as far as the answer to the question of who rules all secretly, the correct answer is the Yugoloths. That's right, the Yugoloths. :D It used to be the Illithids though... or did it? Rumor has it that the ancient Illithid empire was in fact ruled by a paragon hybrid half illithid Shreiker fungus/shocker lizard. it was an epic fighter, wizard, cleric, and rogue, with latent psionic powers. the creature vanished during the fall of the empire. its fate is not accounted for, and cannot be as its existance is only unfounded rumor. so comes the question: if such a powerful creature did in fact exist, what was its fate in and after Gith's rebellion?
Ash Grey 01-23-04, 01:37 AM	It's now the Yugoloth's pool boy?
Shemeska the Marauder 01-23-04, 01:52 AM	*smiles down at her 'pool boy'* "You missed a spot." *cackle* "I do so love my paragon hybrid half illithid Shreiker fungus/shocker lizard that's also an epic fighter, wizard, cleric, and rogue, with latent psionic powers. Every Arcanaloth worth their weight in larvae should have one!"
DarkSoldier 01-23-04, 03:27 AM	Originally posted by SirisC what happens when you do flesh to stone, stone to mud, stir and toss in some gravel, mud to stone, then stone to flesh? You get a particularly nasty torture method.
Erik_Steel 01-23-04, 03:48 AM	Originally posted by SirisC what happens when you do flesh to stone, stone to mud, stir and toss in some gravel, mud to stone, then stone to flesh? A new meaning to the words kidney stones.
Arilou_skiff 01-23-04, 06:39 AM	Originally posted by The Swedish Viking SEK? Is that "Svenska Kronor" or what? Bingo. Du har vunnit en svartvit färgteve. 1. Would a Sabre-toothed Giant Space Hamster be capable of breaking through a 2 inches thick steel door? 2. What happens if an illithid meets a man with a squid on his head?
Feathercircle 01-23-04, 08:22 AM	2. Since you said 'on his head' rather than 'for a head', I'd say it would depend on whether the squid and the man were hostile. If it were a combat situation between the two, the illithid would probably just stand there laughing as it watched the man get tentacle-throttled. If the squid and the man were friends... It might just mind blast them both, eat the guy's brain, and take the squid home as a pet. "I shall call him Squishy, and he will be mine, and he will be my Squishy"
JayceMD 01-23-04, 08:28 AM	Originally posted by Arilou_skiff 2. What happens if an illithid meets a man with a squid on his head? That, of course, depends on exactly how drunk said illithid is. Where do you think all those half-illithids come from? Beware the horrors that are beer-goggles. From Son of a Portable Hole Donbian's Beer Goggles Enchantment [Mind-Affecting] Level: Brd 1, Wiz/Sor 1 Components: V, S, M Casting Time: One action Range: Personal Target: Self Duration: 30 minutes / level Created by an insane gnomeling that liked his drink more than his companions. Beer Goggles enhances the charisma of every creature of the opposite sex of the target of the spell by 1d4+1. This spell, rather useless and sometimes dangerous for the user, has no other point than to make ugly men and women good looking for the purpose of [intimate relations] and carousing without the guilt of having laid with someone who's face makes paint peel and swords break at the mere sight of them. The caster of the spell also suffers from intoxication as if having drank all night. Thus he or she takes an equivalent penalty to Dexterity, Wisdom, and Intelligence that they are granted as a bonus to Charisma by the spell. Material Components: A broken set of spectacles and a mug of ale which must be chugged without stopping.
Ash Grey 01-23-04, 10:30 AM	More Grog! Err.. How exactly does the verbal component work if you have to chug!, chug!, CHUG!, without stopping?
SirisC 01-23-04, 06:32 PM	the sounds made while chugging are the verbal components
Ash Grey 01-24-04, 12:47 AM	(Ahhh I see.) :DWhat if Gollum and Dobbi had a secret lovechild?
SirisC 01-24-04, 12:59 AM	Originally posted by Ash Grey (Ahhh I see.) :DWhat if Gollum and Dobbi had a secret lovechild? :shudders:
The Swedish Viking 01-24-04, 02:53 PM	Since Gollum was, after all, something half-hobbitish, the child would be something... uh... quarter-hobbitish/quarter-slimy-thing/half-whatever-"dobbie"-is.
Ash Grey 01-24-04, 02:59 PM	:rofl:
Chesterfield 01-24-04, 06:39 PM	*Sigh* What am i doing in Finland? What does the stats for a Half-cow template look like? Is it possible to make a Half-cow, Half-gnome, Half-fiendish lich?
The Swedish Viking 01-25-04, 09:32 AM	Well, i suppose. IF you add the half-living template to the lich (this is the only template you can add to an undead creature, and the only benefits is that it counts as living for the purpose of adding other templates). After that, you can easily add half-ghost, half-elf, half-orc, half-dragon and half-bunny templates in addition to the previously mentioned. ' A theory: Giant Space Hamsters was created when a DM added the half-giant and intelligent templates to a normal hamster.
Erik_Steel 01-25-04, 09:39 AM	In a triple threat match between a Moon Elf, a Drow Elf, and a Kobold, which one would win. What would happen if the half-orc Barb. urinated on a shocker lizard? What is the armor class of a fly?
Mithral Icesilver 01-25-04, 11:06 AM	3. Armor class of a fly? Lessee, 10, size +8, natural +1, dodge +31415932416247someWHERE over the... Oops, got carried away. The answer: Too much.
Mithral Icesilver 01-25-04, 11:09 AM	What would you need to make a +17 flyswatter of fly-swatting that ignores a fly's dodge and dexterity bonuses?
Raymond_Luxury_Yacht 01-25-04, 11:25 AM	Originally posted by Erik_Steel In a triple threat match between a Moon Elf, a Drow Elf, and a Kobold, which one would win. The Kobold, as long as it was named Lucky, only said "Eep.", and was a Drizz't clone.
Erik_Steel 01-25-04, 11:32 AM	Originally posted by Mithral Icesilver What would you need to make a +17 flyswatter of fly-swatting that ignores a fly's dodge and dexterity bonuses? A masterwork flyswatter, and a really bored level 51 Wizard with a massivly high bluff.
Erik_Steel 01-25-04, 11:35 AM	Originally posted by Ash Grey (Ahhh I see.) :DWhat if Gollum and Dobbi had a secret lovechild? You would get Golbbi a house goblin that really just wanted to kill Harry Potter so he could have all the books devoted to him.
The Swedish Viking 01-25-04, 03:18 PM	Ah, so you meant Dobby. I donīt know if itīs because translation or something, but still... Okay. So: We would get Dollum, the thin, slimy and evil hobbit who really likes to eat goblins and serve the owner of his house and dress in rags and gets turned on by sado-masochistic rites. Or something. (Lets not go any further with this, lest this thread be transferred to the mature boards)
Shifting Master 01-25-04, 04:48 PM	What type of creature is ET? Can it phone home? What would happen to a two-eyed beholder? How does the elven alphabet song go?
RavynBR 01-30-04, 01:17 AM	ET is an extra-terrestrial, as stated in the movie title. THUS, he's just a human (possibly gnome) with the Pseudonatural template! That explains his neck and glowing stomach. Unfortunately, Greater Mindlink (phoning home) has a range, so while he could CONTINUE his conversation after being left, it won't allow him to re-establish communication. However, I'm sure that an epic level version of MISSIVE would work. Most beholders have about 12 eyes, but that asside, I assume you mean 2 main eyes..... I can't imagine it would actually affect it adversely. Now, while I DO know the tune to the elven alphabet song, I'm afraid I can't share it with you. You see, while I can write in HTML in here, I can NOT write in musical notes. However..... it uses a similar tune as that song "I would walk 500 miles" but in elven obviously. As an aside, the Draconic alphabet song actually uses the tune to "Inagodadavida".... Halfling uses the same tune as humans, Dwarves don't sing so much as chant theirs. And undercommon comes out sounding like what you get when you put a couple pounds of gravel in the dryer.... Abyssal uses a tune sounding like a microwave full of aluminum foil, Infernal is more like sizzling bacon. Celestial prefers to use the Hallelujia Chorus. Ok, that was a long aside, but I hope it was useful.
The Swedish Viking 01-30-04, 01:58 AM	And sylvan, of course, sounds like a raindeer eating sallad on an airplane that has crashed in the jungle. 1. Why do Orcs have a god? 2. Arenīt said orcs a little to destructive to worship said god? 3. Would not said orcs try to eradicate said god because they donīt like being ruled over? 4. What would happen if a halfling tried to play baseball? 5. What would happen if said halfling was riding a beholder? 6. What if the only thing said beholder could dowith its eyes was to squirt water?
JayceMD 01-30-04, 02:37 PM	Originally posted by The Swedish Viking 1. Why do Orcs have a god? Because *ahem* (clears throat and puts on singing voice) "Everybody needs somebody sometimes" 2. Arenīt said orcs a little to destructive to worship said god? No, silly. Destruction is just their day job. Deep down they just need the love of a father figure to watch over them. 3. Would not said orcs try to eradicate said god because they donīt like being ruled over? Orcs thrive on firm discipline. A flash of displeasure in your eye and a stern note in your voice does wonders. Really. 4. What would happen if a halfling tried to play baseball? He gets to be the...wait for it.....shortstop 5. What would happen if said halfling was riding a beholder? That depends: is he riding on top of it or in its mouth? 6. What if the only thing said beholder could dowith its eyes was to squirt water? Now you're just being pornographic.
Mithral Icesilver 01-30-04, 05:55 PM	Why would an evil god (Maglubiyet) create a race (Hobgoblins) that is incapable of being clerics (at least of him)? Why do Gruumsh and Maglubiyet live in Acheron? Last I checked they were CHAOTIC evil.
E-Vile 01-30-04, 09:01 PM	Why do Gruumsh and Maglubiyet live in Acheron? Last I checked they were CHAOTIC evil. Maglubiyet just got seperated from his Club Med tourguide and now is lost. Gruumsh just swears he saw his eye last in the third cube left of the top layer and is still looking for it.
Boondoggle 01-31-04, 02:53 AM	Originally posted by Mithral Icesilver Why would an evil god (Maglubiyet) create a race (Hobgoblins) that is incapable of being clerics (at least of him)? Why do Gruumsh and Maglubiyet live in Acheron? Last I checked they were CHAOTIC evil. Just to make you ask questions; because they're evil (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=Evil)!!! [/did I miss any tags?] :angel:
Erik_Steel 01-31-04, 11:16 AM	Originally posted by Mithral Icesilver Why would an evil god (Maglubiyet) create a race (Hobgoblins) that is incapable of being clerics (at least of him)? Why do Gruumsh and Maglubiyet live in Acheron? Last I checked they were CHAOTIC evil. Because it has a nice summer climate with beach front property real cheap. Other then the occasional raids by your neighbors its just too good to pass up.
isaac_the_mauler 01-31-04, 03:48 PM	What if Gollum and Dobbi had a secret lovechild? werent they both male? are beholders afraid of scissors? if so would scissor kicks deal double damage? what happens when you blind a beholder? how long could a titanic water elemental live on the plane of fire? wouldnt you be crushed by the water pressure on the plane of water? is there a technicolor plane? how much damage would an x-box deal?
Primus, the One and Prime 01-31-04, 03:54 PM	- Yes. - No, for the power of scissors vanishes in an anti-magic cone. - No, see above. - He gets a job as a meal prechewer at a retirement home. He later kills himself with a pair of scissors. - 14 months before the rent just gets too much and he's got to go back. There are some damn high living expenses in Fire. - No. - Not a plane per say. Its a realm of the Quasi-Plane of Radiance. - That depends. If one is hit by it I'd say 1d4+Str. If one is playing it I'd say instant death affect, no save, no SR.
hierophant druid 01-31-04, 04:31 PM	I have finally read trough all of this and I have answers for the questions I feel like answering. 1. How many roads must a goblin walk down? None unless he is walking down hill. 2. Just who the hell would be a Pixie? I would. Who else wouldn't be caught in the women's locker room. 3. Do Illithads secretly rule us? No. We are ruled by the most evil, most powerful, most sinister creature on the planet. All hail mighty........FLUMPH 4. What would happen if a Halfling played baseball? He would get the record for the most times walked because of his tiny strike zone. Now, for a few of my own questions...... 1. Who would win between the obsidian man of Urik or the Tarrasque? 2. How is a half-human, half-giant possible? (think about it) 3.How come the beholder didn't detonate Kurt Russell in the movie Big Trouble in Little China?
The Swedish Viking 02-01-04, 06:47 AM	What happen if you gather one hundred beholders, put blindfolds on them, and then put them in a spherical room, and then tell them that the first who can charge into the single corner (you are lying, there are no corners) gets to rule the world?
Shifting Master 02-01-04, 08:36 AM	What would happen if four hill giants decided to become KISS? Would said hill giants find their instruments in their giant sacks? How many half-human/half-giants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Factol Rhys 02-01-04, 09:18 AM	Can a monk use flurry of blows in a "rock-paper-scissors" contest? What is the DC for sliding down a stone hand rail on a shield while firing arrows? What is the carrying capacity of an unladen swallow?
Erik_Steel 02-01-04, 10:29 AM	My answers to choice questions. Who would win between the obsidian man of Urik or the Tarrasque? The obsidian man because he looks drow therefore is superior to the tarrasque in every way. What happen if you gather one hundred beholders, put blindfolds on them, and then put them in a spherical room, and then tell them that the first who can charge into the single corner (you are lying, there are no corners) gets to rule the world? Every watch bumper cars? Can a monk use flurry of blows in a "rock-paper-scissors" contest? They can but its against the rules to hit people IIRC What is the DC for sliding down a stone hand rail on a shield while firing arrows? It’s a perform(Legolas) dc 5 check I felt like avoiding the MP quotes
Arilou_skiff 02-01-04, 12:54 PM	1. Can a woodchuck chuck a treant? How much? 2. Would a laernan multiheaded cryofiregiant have both the cold and fire subtypes? 3. WHERE ARE THE GIANT SPACE HAMSTERS!?
Mithral Icesilver 02-01-04, 07:11 PM	Originally posted by Arilou_skiff 1. Can a woodchuck chuck a treant? How much? 2. Would a laernan multiheaded cryofiregiant have both the cold and fire subtypes? 3. WHERE ARE THE GIANT SPACE HAMSTERS!? 1. a. No b. Wha?:confused: 2. I don't know, but it would be :censored: difficult to kill. 3. UM ... IN SPACE?:confused:
The Swedish Viking 02-02-04, 02:09 AM	Heīs asking for stats for the hamsters. In fact, so am i. Whats with hamsters anyway? There are Nintendo games about hamsters, there are the famous hamster Boo, they are mentioned in SoU, and a lot of other games.
Arilou_skiff 02-02-04, 03:41 AM	Originally posted by The Swedish Viking Heīs asking for stats for the hamsters. In fact, so am i. Whats with hamsters anyway? There are Nintendo games about hamsters, there are the famous hamster Boo, they are mentioned in SoU, and a lot of other games. Don't forget the Weird Al song "Invasion of the Giant Radioactive Space Hamsters from a Planet Near Mars"
AvonRekaes 02-02-04, 04:58 AM	I don't have any questions or answers, but I thought it'd just bring this to your attention. From Dragon Magazine #315, page 13. (For giant space hamsters, use the stats for a dire wolf, but give the space hamsters a speed of 30 feet and a burrow speed of 20 feet.)
Arilou_skiff 02-02-04, 11:34 AM	Originally posted by AvonRekaes I don't have any questions or answers, but I thought it'd just bring this to your attention. From Dragon Magazine #315, page 13. (For giant space hamsters, use the stats for a dire wolf, but give the space hamsters a speed of 30 feet and a burrow speed of 20 feet.) That's just... Wrong! Also, this still doesen't give the stats for the Space Hamster variants!
The Swedish Viking 02-03-04, 02:04 AM	Especially not useable with the "Miniature Hamster" template!