Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Mattarias 02-26-07, 11:15 PM	I originally designed the Kindling to be a familliar, but realized, its chances of being a normal one seem to be incredibly slim, so, i decided to give it a 'baby form'. Any suggestions? Sparkling Fine Animal Hit Dice: 1/2d8 (2 hp) Initiative: +7 Speed: 15 feet (three squares) Armor Class: 21 (+8 size, +3 DEX), touch 21, flat-footed 18 Base Attack/Grapple: +0/-21 Attack: Slam +11 (1d2-5) Full Attack: Slam +11 (1d2-5) Space/Reach: 1/2ft./0 ft. Special Attacks: -- Spell-like abilities: -- Special Qualities: Low-light vision, Illumination, Evolution (Ex)* Saves: Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +1 Abilities: Str 1, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 16 Skills: Perform(sing) +7, Jump +7, Hide +19 Feats: Improved Initiative, Weapon Finesse(B) Environment: Warm Plains, Grasslands and Deserts Organization: Gibber (5-7) Challenge Rating: 1/4 Treasure: None Alignment: N Advancement: Special (See Evolution, below) Level Adjustment: -- You see an extremely small, limbless, muddy-red, fox-like creature bounce toward you, humming a happy tune. You notice, by the light shed by its tail, that it is followed by many others. As they notice you, they all squeak in unison, and duck for cover. Sparkling are round,furry creatures that mind their own business. indeed, they are almost unaware that other creatures have business other than that that Sparkling enjoy. This being singing, eating, and not being eaten. They particularly enjoy gathering around brush fires set by Kindling at night to sing and eat the moths that are attracted to the flames. Combat: Sparkling almost never fight anything larger than themselves, and fight only as a last resort, teaming up against a single, larger enemy and bashing their heads against it until it is no longer a problem. They are omnivores, and eat anything from insects to shoots and leaves, though are known to occasionally team up against the smaller varieties of monstrous instects, if food is scare or their homes are being threatened. Sparkling have a +4 racial bonus to Jump checks, and can always take ten on Jump checks, even if rushed or threatened. Sparkling use their Dexterity modifier instead of their Strength modifier for Jump checks. Illumination: Sparklings shed light enough to fill one square with shadowy illumination. This is a natural ability and is usable and dismissable at will. Evolution: Occasionally, a Sparkling may fall into the flames it is singing by. If it survives, it undergoes a transformation, and is from that point on, a Kindling. *Evolution is only usable once in a Sparkling's lifetime. Kindling Fine Magical Beast (Fire) Hit Dice: 1d10 (5) Initiative: +7 Speed: (fly) 30 ft. (6 squares) (perfect) Armor Class: 21 (+8 size, +3 DEX), touch 21, flat-footed 18 Base Attack/Grapple: +1/-20 Attack: Slam +12 (1d2-5) +1 fire Full Attack: Slam +12 (1d2-5) +1 fire Space/Reach: 1/2ft./0 ft. Special Attacks: Burn Spell-like Abilities: At will-- Prestidigitation. Special Qualities: Low-light vision, Darkvision 60ft, Illumination(Su) Saves: Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +1 Abilities: Str 1, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 3, Wis 12, Cha 16 Skills: Perform (sing): +7, Listen +5*, hide +19 Feats: Improved Initiative, Weapon finesse(B) Environment: Warm plains, Grasslands, and Deserts Organization: Hubub (5-7) Challenge Rating: 1/2 Treasure: Small, "shiny" baubles, usually not over 50gp (if any). Alignment: CG Advancement: 2 HD (fine), 3-4 HD (diminutive) Level Adjustment: -- You notice a group of small, red, fox-like creatures singing wordless, but almost taunting songs at you from a distance. As you turn to get a better look, they rasberry and float away, waving their tails, trailed by a bright pink flame, at you. Kindling are extremely happy-go lucky creatures, who are fans of having fun. They resemble larger, more brightly colored Sparkling, with seemingly permanently closed eyes, and furry, well-kept bodies. Their tails are patterned with fire designs, and are trailed by heatless fires that change size and color according to their moods, so it is easy to tell when one is happy. They move via floating, which they do with great enthusiasm over the heads of friendly creatures, in order to make them confused. Combat: Although more bold than Sparkling, Kindling fight to protect and feed their young. When necessary, they fight via setting an enemy's possessions ablaze with their Burn attacks or gathering sticks and leaves with which to set their opponents living areas on fire. They fight only as a last resort. Kindling receive a +4 racial bonus to listen checks. Burn: Whenever a Kindling does fire damage with a melee attack, it ignites any flammable material it comes in contact with. This fire is nonmagical and does 1d6 points of damage per round. a creature that is on fire may use a full-round action to put out the flames with a DC 15 reflex save. Rolling on the ground provides the target a +2 bonus on the save. Leaping into a lake or magically extinguishing the flames automatically smothers the fire. Illumination: A Kindling sheds light as bright illumination for 5 feet, and shadowy illumination for another 5 feet around it. This ability is otherwise similar to that of a Sparkling.
Silversheen197 02-26-07, 11:23 PM	Well, the first thing I see is that its HD needs to be a certain amount of d10s, because all magical beasts have d10s as Hit Dice. Other than that, there's really too little information to give good feedback. Try to put the monster in this format: Name Type (Subtype) Hit Dice Initiative Speed Armor Class Base Attack/Grapple Attack Full Attack Space/Reach Special Attacks Special Qualities Saves Abilities Skills Feats Etc. So far you've got: Kindling Fine Magical Beast (Fire) Hit Dice: ?d10+? (? hp) Initiative: +? Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares) Armor Class: ? (?), touch ?, flat-footed ? Base Attack/Grapple: ?/? Attack: Slam +? (1d2-? plus 1 fire) Full Attack: Slam +? (1d2-? plus 1 fire) Space/Reach: 1/2ft./0 ft. Special Attacks: Burn, spell-like abilities Special Qualities: ? Saves: Fort +?, Ref +?, Will +? Abilities: Str ?, Dex ?, Con ?, Int ?, Wis ?, Cha ? Skills: ? Feats: ? As far as I know, these little buggers could have all ability scores above 30, which would mean that they would definitely not be okay as any type of familiar...
Mattarias 02-27-07, 07:18 PM	oh, okay, thank you. i was sleepy at time of posting and didn't know the format. i'll work on it, right away.
Mattarias 02-27-07, 08:31 PM	fixed. looks nifty to me. any suggestions? -oh, sorry if i wasn't supposed to double-post..
Silversheen197 02-27-07, 09:02 PM	Hmmm...a couple of inconsistancies: 1) If its hp is 1d10-4, then its Con score needs to be either 3 or 2. 2) With a +1 Dex and Improved Initiative, its initiative should be +5. 3) instead of the ? in the parentheses under Armor Class, you should put +8 size, +1 Dex), just so people can be sure why its AC is what it should be. 4) Because it is a magical beast, its BAB should be +1, which means that it's grapple (taking into account its Str) should be -16. 5) Most magical beasts have darkvision 60 ft. as a special quality, because of their type. If you wish to, however, you can omit that (as is currently shown). 6) If you're changing its Con to match its hp, then its Fort save should be 2 (base) - 4 (Con) = -2. If you're changing its hp to match its current Con, then you're right on the mark. As written, its Ref should be +2 (base) +1 (Dex) = +3. Once again, as written, its Will save should be +0 (base) -3 (Wis) = -3. 7) It gets 4 skill points, which means if the skills as written are its current ranks, they should be modified by its ability modifiers (so Listen becomes -1, and Perform becomes +3). 8) If your creature is Fine sized, then the Monster Manual suggests that its physical scores should be somewhere around Str 1, Dex 16-27, and Con 2-11. While these are guidelines, I would try to keep close to these: as written, these little critters prefer to run from combat. With a 9 Str, they are stronger or as strong as a halfling, which would make a creature of that size pretty cocky. Besides, everyone wants as much Dex as possible, right :D ? With Improved Initiative as their feat, they seem more likely to use the boost to get away quickly, meaning having a higher Dex would be helpful. 9) I would give them a fly speed instead of having their prestidigitation spell do it for them, just because it's easier for most people to follow. Also, Wisdom means not only force of will, but perceptiveness (and I usually see this as more of the latter), which means that if they have anywhere near animal-like senses, they should have at least 12 Wisdom. Okay, with that said, I kinda like the idea. I could see them being familiars, but they seem like they're a bit too powerful for a normal familiar, and not quite powerful enough to be worth spending a feat, so you may want to find a way to increase their power a little bit (maybe burning hands or sommat similar as a spell-like 1/day?)
Mattarias 02-27-07, 09:45 PM	thanks Silversheen. ^^; i'm terribly new to this monster making stuff.. is this better? i was thinking of them just being a kind of familliar made available with the normal Obtain Familliar feat, since i was designing this with my bard in mind. i don't want these things to be tiny flamethrowers, so i think burning hands is a bad idea. ^^; -these things aren't even close to psuedodragons, so i can't see them as improved familliars..
Silversheen197 02-27-07, 10:57 PM	Much better, you're definitely getting there! Still a couple of things that need tweaking, but most everything is there, so I can get down to critiquing as you originally asked. I'm going to compare this to a cat, to see if it can indeed be used as a base familiar. Type-A familiar changes into a magical beast, I don't think it will affect much. HD-This really doesn't matter for a familiar, because their hit points are set by yours. Speed-They can fly, but so can a raven familiar, so that's okay. AC-With their high Dex and being so small, this could be a bit unbalanced... Attack-You may want to change the base damage damage to 1 point, but a familiar isn't normally used for melee attacks, so it might not matter (besides, its Str mod (-5) makes the damage pretty much null anyways). Special Attacks-The only other problem might be the burn ability: not many familiars can light stuff on fire, but compared to the cat, the 2 max damage with one hit is about as good as the 3 max with all hits, so I think it can get through. Alright, based on that, I would rule that you could certainly use this little bugger as a normal familiar, but I would make sure the AC is okay with the DM. That and the fire are the only things I'm a little iffy about. (P.S. with your new ability scores, recalculate the grapple bonus, and the saves (grapple size mod is -16 for Fine, and for a 1 HD Mag. B., the base saves are Fort +2, Ref +2, and Will +0. Also, calculate their attack bonus (size bonus for attacks is +8) (you might also consider giving them Weapon Finesse as a bonus feat, most creatures with a Str penalty and a Dex bonus have it).)
Mattarias 02-27-07, 11:08 PM	^^; okay, thanks a lot for all the advice. i guess i'll show her this and let her decide. weapon finesse is kinda silly, though. there's nothing finessable about ramming into something.. O.o; either way, i don't wanna make these dudes into anything very melee-ey. they're wimps by nature. also, i don't think the fire's really that big a deal- i mean, i can easily do that myself with prestidigitation or a tindertwig, or something like that. that actually tends to be my tactic in battle-inspire courage, throw oil, set oil on fire, melee if necessary.
Silversheen197 02-27-07, 11:33 PM	Very well. I hope she okays it: it seems like a neat creature (I would want one as a familiar :D ).
Mattarias 02-27-07, 11:43 PM	:) thanks. you're welcome to use it if you ever wish to.
Sudnji_cas 03-01-07, 04:01 AM	They sound so cute my spleen hurts.
Mattarias 03-01-07, 09:11 PM	They sound so cute my spleen hurts. XD thanks. never thought i'd hear that about them, but yeah, just about, i guess. i'm actually working on a couple drawings of 'em.
cog_n_taz 03-02-07, 03:28 AM	one iffy bit: fine size is the same size as a fly.
Silversheen197 03-02-07, 01:37 PM	Fine size can be anything up to six inches long from the nose to the base of the tail (not the tip of it). Since he said about tennis ball sized, I think Fine size would work for that.
Mattarias 03-02-07, 06:02 PM	Fine size can be anything up to six inches long from the nose to the base of the tail (not the tip of it). Since he said about tennis ball sized, I think Fine size would work for that. yeah, that's what i was going for. i was thinking diminutive might work, too, but that's about husecat-sized, and housecats can eat these things for dinner. O.o;
cog_n_taz 03-02-07, 06:33 PM	actually, housecats are tiny, the example for diminutive is a toad.
R.M.G.C.L.F. 03-03-07, 12:53 AM	You still don't describe the special attack "burn".
Mattarias 03-03-07, 01:35 AM	oh, point. i believe it's a fire elemental thing. whenever the creature hits with a slam attack, it can set what it hit on fire, if it can be. pretty sure that's how it works.
Dead_Weasel 03-03-07, 02:56 AM	I'm definitely too tired to help tweak, but as for *getting* the familiar, there are probably lots of ways that involve tricking/bribing your DM, but the easiest is convincing him to let you take the feat Improved Familiar (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/lists/feats&tablefilter=improved%20familiar) - it's in everything, from Complete Warrior to Complete Scoundrel. Remember, the Consolidated Lists (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/arch/lists) are your friend.
Silversheen197 03-03-07, 04:03 AM	If your trying to get this as a normal familiar, I would make the special attack like the hell hound's fiery bite instead of the fire elemetnal's burn...setting things on fire is much more powerful than just dealing a point of fire damage.
Mattarias 03-03-07, 09:48 PM	I'm definitely too tired to help tweak, but as for *getting* the familiar, there are probably lots of ways that involve tricking/bribing your DM, but the easiest is convincing him to let you take the feat Improved Familiar (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/lists/feats&tablefilter=improved%20familiar) - it's in everything, from Complete Warrior to Complete Scoundrel. Remember, the Consolidated Lists (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/arch/lists) are your friend. hm, yeah, i know of the feat, but the thing is, i'm shooting to have this as a normal familliar, maybe one that'd get improved after getting the improved familliar feat. bards don't exactly get bonus feats up the wazoo. .. or at all, in fact. forgoet the wazoo. :\ If your trying to get this as a normal familiar, I would make the special attack like the hell hound's fiery bite instead of the fire elemetnal's burn...setting things on fire is much more powerful than just dealing a point of fire damage. hm.. okay then, i guess that could make sense. they could use prestidigitation to light fires, then. hmm..
Mattarias 03-03-07, 10:44 PM	how is this? any better? (ack, darn my double-post! i had an old window open that showed this thread off the first page.. >.<')
Dead_Weasel 03-04-07, 05:13 PM	I think that a Sparkling would be about the equivalent of a normal familiar, with illumination instead of a skill/save bonus. Once you're higher level, you take Improved Familiar and it becomes a Kindling. Problem solved?
Mattarias 03-04-07, 05:35 PM	I think that a Sparkling would be about the equivalent of a normal familiar, with illumination instead of a skill/save bonus. Once you're higher level, you take Improved Familiar and it becomes a Kindling. Problem solved? hm, okay then. does anything seem off about the Sparkling, though? something seems weird to me.. is the speed bad, or something?
Dead_Weasel 03-06-07, 02:32 AM	Nothing really pops out at me. Con's too low; bring it up to 10; familiars don't really have a lot of worries in the hp or save department since they use their master's once it becomes better, but as an independent creature it needs to have a 10; anything in the wild with a Con of 2 would die when sneezed upon. Conversely, I think Cha's too high - when is it going to be talking to anyone? Aside from its master, who is stuck with the critter anyway. Both the Sparkling and the Kindling should have only one feat, unless you're giving them Weapon Finesse as a bonus, and although Improved Initiative helps it run away faster, Alertness helps it get away from danger before initiative is rolled. Also, most of the (standard) familiars have Alertness to begin with, presumably so they can grant it to their master. "Bounce" is a weird movement mode to go creating; why not just give it a base speed of 15' and a +4 racial bonus on Jump checks, and mention something in the flavor text about its fondness for hopping around? I'm prejudiced on this issue, but I don't think that an animal (however magical) with an intelligence of 2 has the mental capacity to discern or even concern itself with morality; also, since I see this as being an all-around good familiar, I feel that its alignment should be N. If you disagree with me, well, fine. I had a lot more to say than I thought I did; hopefully some of it helps you.
cwslyclgh 03-06-07, 02:36 AM	Well, the first thing I see is that its HD needs to be a certain amount of d10s, because all magical beasts have d10s as Hit Dice.note that if you don;t want to give the thing a patheticaly low con score that "certain amount of d10s" can be a fraction of a D10 such as HD: 1/2d10 (3 hp)
xver 03-06-07, 06:30 AM	Ok, first things first, many of your sentences are not captialized. While this may seem like a minor nit pick to you, when creating homebrew gaming materials, it helps to make everything as professional as possible. Secondly, it helps to use formating, such as bolding to make the entry more closely resemble those in the MM or a well formated SRD. Ok, now on to the mechanical issues. Starting with the Sparkling. It's hit points are higher than they should be. Average hit points for 1d8 is 4, that, combined with a -4 Con modifier gives a result of 0. Of course, you always get at least one hit point per hit die, so it should have 1 hp. It's grapple modifier appears to be calculated incorrectly. It has a -16 special size modifier to grapple checks, plus a -5 Str penalty, for a total of -21. (Unless you can apply Weapon Finesse to grapple checks, but I don't think you can. If you can, it has a +3 Dex bonus for a total of -13.) It's attack roll is also incorrect. It has a +8 size bonus and a +3 Dex bonus (slam, a natural attack, is light and benifits from Weapon Finesse) for a total of +11. The Illumination special quality should be explained in full detail in a section below the main stat block. While it may seem self explaintory to you, special qualities are usually detailed in this manner. On the other tentacle, other light shedding creatures such as the Lantern Archon and the Will-O'-Wisp don't even mention it in their stat block They simply state that they shed light as a torch in thier descriptions. In any event, you should give the full details of thier illumination in one form or another. It should say wether they can turn it off and how far it illuminates. Remember that most light sources shed bright light for a given distance and shadowy light for the same distance beyond that. Some of it's saves are incorrect also. It's Fortitude save should be -2 (+2 base, -4 Con). It's Reflex save is correct at +5 (+2 base, +3 Dex). It's Will save should be +1 (+0 base, +1 Wis). It's skills seem to be off also. It has four skill points to spend. If it put them all into Perform (sing), it would have a total modifer of +7 (4 ranks, +3 Cha). Normally it'd only have one feat. However, it is clear that Weapon Finesse is a bonus, so you should mark it with a superscript B to show that, like so: "Weapon FinesseB". As a creature with animal intellegece (1 or 2), it should have an alignment of N. However, there are exceptions to this for mindless creatures (Int --), so I guess it dosn't really matter. Now on to the Kindling: It's hit points are also off. An average d10 gives 5 hp, plus a -4 Con modifier leaves it with a total of 1. Once again the grapple check is wrong. It should be a -20 (-16 size, -5 Str, +1 BAB). Also, the attack roll appears to suffer from the same issue as the Sparkling. It should be a +12 (+8 size, +3 dex, +1 BAB). Like I mentioned before for special qualities, the full details of their special attacks should be listed below the stat block. See the Hell Hound for an example of an ability similar to the burn effect you're now using, or the Fire Elemental for the original Burn effect. Normally spell like abilites are listed as a simply "Spell-like abilites" and the full details are given below. In any event, you should list how often they can use the power (x/day or at will), what effective caster level they cast at (usually 1/2 thier hit dice, with minimum of first), and what stat their saves are based on (Int, Wis, or Cha). However, Prestidigitation has no save, so you can proably leave that out. The saves are off again. It's Fortitude save should be -2 (+2 base, -4 Con) and it's Will save should be +1 (+0 base, +1 Wis). It seems to have only spent three of it's four skill points. If it put the last one in spot, it would have a Spot check of +3 or if it put it in Perform it would have a perform check of +6. However, as the Kindlings are supposed to be adult versions of the Sparklings, it dosn't really make sense for it's Perform check to go down. Perhaps it should put all four ranks into Perform, for a +7 check and get a +2 racial bonus to Spot for a +3 check. Once again, mark Weapon Finesse as a bonus feat. Neither of the creatures have a CR, Advancement, or Level Adjustment listed. The level adjustments should be "--" as they aren't suited for player characters. The advancement of the Sparkling should be "--" as it advances to a Kindling, rather than in the usual manner. If you wish, you could include an advancement range for the Kindling, or you could put it at "--" also if they never get more powerful. (I suggest "2 HD (fine), 3-4 HD (diminutive)" but that's just me.) Hope that helps. Once you get the stats straightened out, I'll give you some advice on formatting.
Mattarias 03-07-07, 07:12 PM	Ah, much thanks to you all :) . I didn't know I had so much wrong. :embarrass I fixed all the stats (again, thank you xver), gave racial bonuses (good idea, all of you.) increased CON to 10, and fractined HD (kudos to cwslyclgh for this). ...And I guess that helps its HP. ...Not by much, though. ^^; I believe the CHA is appropriate, though. They're fairly social creatures, not to mention that every time I've showed a drawing of these things, I've gotten at least three "awww"s. :rolleyes: Again, thank you all. I've never had experience with making creatures, nor have I previously looked at a monster entry (My DM, my girlfriend, disallows players from knowing "DM stuff". ...She probably is irked at me making these things. ^^'), so I'm grateful for all the advice and critcism. :)
xver 03-08-07, 07:50 AM	Glad I could help. It's mostly fixed now, and looking pretty good. I really like the Evolution mechanic. It's nice and flavorful. There are still a few things that need fixing, but it's minor stuff now. I'll start with the one remaining mechanics issue. The sparkling still doesn't have its skill points figured correctly. Animals get 2 + Int modifier skill points per hit die, and four times that amount for their first hit die (even if it's a partial one). With a -4 Int mod, that works out to -2 (i.e. none) but they always get at least one per hit die and at least four for their first hit die. So the sparkling has four skill points to spend on skill ranks. If it spent all its skill points on Perform (sing), it should have a check of +7 (4 ranks, +3 Cha). That's the only technical issue I see at this point. However, I do have some suggestions that may help to improve them. You've mentioned that the sparklings move by bouncing around as a precursor to the kindling's flight. The jumping rules are pretty involved, so I did a little analysis of their Jump checks to see how far and high they can jump. A creature with a speed of less than 30 ft. takes a -6 penalty to jump checks for each 10 ft. less than 30 ft. of movement it has. This means that the sparklings have -9 penalty to Jump checks for being slow. (I think it's -9. Perhaps it's just -6. I hope it's not -12.) Furthermore, the rules assume you get a 20 ft. running start before jumping, if you don't the DC to reach a given distance or height is doubled. With their -9 speed mod, -5 Str mod, and their +4 racial bonus, the sparklings have a total Jump check of -10. This means that on an average roll of 10, their result is a 0 and on a max roll of 20, their result is a 10. A zero won't get you anywhere. (Perhaps you bobble a bit.) The DC for horizontal jumping (without a running start) is 2 per foot. So this means they jump six inches for each point they roll higher than a 10. And they need a nat 20 to exit their current square. For vertical jumping (again without a running start) the DC is 8 per foot. This means that if they jump straight up, they reach an inch and a half off the ground for each point they roll over a 10. If this amount of bounce is good enough for how you envision them, then they're fine as is. If not, I have a suggestion that will help them out. Creatures that have a move speed that is normally a skill check (such as swim or climb) get special bonuses to that skill. While there is no Jump movement speed, you could adopt the usual bonus for such speeds in this case. Here's an example: Skills: Lizards [snip] have a +8 racial bonus on Climb checks and can always choose to take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened. Lizards use their Dexterity modifier instead of their Strength modifier for Climb checks. I think it would make a nice fit in this case. (Changed to jump of course.) If you went with this option, the sparkling would have a Jump check of +3 and could consistently (by taking a 10) jump 5 ft. horizontal (result 13, DC 10). This would allow it to cover it's three square movement in three jumps. If it decided to try for a better jump, it could get 10 ft. of horizontal movement on a roll of 17 (result 20, DC 20) or higher. It's average high jump would be 19.5 in. and a nat 20 would get it 30 in. Ok, enough rambling on about Jump checks. The Evolution ability, while it could technically work as a spell-like ability seems to me more like it should be either a supernatural or extraordinary special quality. (See below for more details.) I also think that the kindling should have a full hit die. That would give it 5 hit points, which may be more than you think it ought to have. If that's the case, feel free to ignore this bit (or anything else I suggest, after all, it's your monster). The reason I thing it should is that I think it ought to be tougher than a sparkling, after all, it's an adult now. Other monsters that have seperate juvenile and adult statistics ofthen have several more HD as an adult, so I think 3 hp more for such a small creature is reasonable. It also is closer to the norm for a 1/2 CR. "And now for something completely different..." While not as important as the technical mechanical details of monster building, I thought I'd give you a few more tips on formating a monster entry. Some of these tips are for ease of use and others are simply for consistency, but I figure a rookie like yourself could use some good advice as to the usual way these things are laid out. (Sorry if some of this stuff seems overly pedantic, but you seem like you really want to learn how to do this stuff the right way, so I'm trying to help out.) Starting with the main stat block itself. All of the headers and the first word of their entry are usually capitalized. You've got most of it, but "environment", "organization", "warm", "rating", "low-light", and "group" should be capitalized. All feats and skills are capitalized on all words. But not skill or feat subcatagories. (I.E. parts in parenthesis.) You didn't capitalize "perform" or "finesse". On a related note, skills are usually listed without a colon between the skill name and the modifier, just a space. And there is usually a space between a skill or feat name and it's subcatagory in parenthesis (if it has one). Also, skills that have any sort of bonus or penalty beyond than just their usual modifier are usually listed in the stat block. This means such things as skill ranks, racial bonuses, and size bonuses. Which means that the sparkling should have it's Jump check listed, the kindling should have it's Listen check listed and they both should have their Hide check listed. Hide is listed because they have a +16 size bonus to Hide, which gives them a +19 Hide check, rather higher than the +3 they'd get as a simple Dex check. Most empty headings use "--" rather than spelling out "None" like the sparkling's special attacks entry. An exception is Treasure (see below). Headings after "Organization" are usually ordered "Challenge Rating", "Treasure", "Alignment", "Advancement", and "Level Adjustment". Also, "Level Adjustment" is usually spelled out. I forgot to mention treasure earlier. The sparkling's treasure entry should likely read "None" as animals or other non-sentient beings almost never have treasure. As for the kindling, what sort of Treasure it has, if any, is up to you to decide. (If you need help with treasure, just ask, I'll be glad to help.) Attacks are usually written as "Name +X type (XdX+X)". For example "Slam +11 melee (1d2-5)". They don't list a separate attack roll line as that can vary by attack, although it doesn't in your case as there's only one attack. Spell-like abilities are usually simply listed as "spell-like abilities" under special attacks and the full details are given down below. Where the advancement line says "Special", you may want to add a parenthetical note saying "(see evolution, below)", to clarify what exactly it means by special. Also entries don't end in periods as they're not complete sentences. Now for the stuff below the main stat block. The first thing below the main stats is usually a quick italicized description of the creature. The sort of thing the DM can read word-for-word to the players when they encounter one. After that is a longer description and details of their non-combat activities. Then there is a bolded header "Combat", on a line all by itself. Following that is a description of their combat tactics. Below that are descriptions of special attacks and special qualities in the order they appear in the stat block. What you have already is pretty close to the norm as far as these descriptions go. The only thing you're missing is the tags that say what type of ability it is. There are three types of abilities. Spell-like (Sp) is mostly for magical abilities that simply duplicate spells and must be cast like a spell, but occasionally it is used for custom magical effects that don't replicate a specific spell, but must still be cast like one. Supernatural (Su) is used for magical effects that don't have to be cast like a spell. Extraordinary (Ex) is used for non-magical effects, although they might defy the laws of physics. You put the abbreviated form in parenthesis between the name of the ability and the colon. To decide which type of ability a given ability you've created you have to ask yourself one or two questions. First, is it magical? Can it function in an anti-magic zone? If it's not magical, it's extraordinary. If it is magical, does it require "finger wiggling"? If so, it's spell-like. If not, it's supernatural. The "Spell-Like Abilities" section isn't labeled (Sp) because it's redundant. It sorts the abilities by how often they can be used, starting with the most uses. It says the usage frequency, has a long dash and then lists the spell-like-abilities (italicized) that can be used that often, in alphabetical order. If the spells have a save, it lists the DC in parenthesis after the spell. Each section of usage frequency ends in a semicolon, except the last one which ends in a period. It then states the caster level and what stat the saves are based on. For example: Spell-Like Abilities: At will -- prestidigitation, read magic; 1/day -- fireball (DC 17). Caster level 6th. Save DCs are Intelligence-based. Finally you have the skills section. It lists all the racial skill bonuses the critter has and any special skill rules like the idea I propose for Jump above. This is more of a flavor thing, but I'll suggest it anyway. Many creatures have an interesting name for a group of them rather than simply "group" ("pride of lions", "murder of crows" (my personal favorite), etc.). Since they apparently like to sing so much, I suggest "Choir", which is also the group name for Angels. Actually, many of the group names in DnD are pretty bland, but there's no reason not to use this interesting feature of the english language and DnD rules to add a bit more flavor. (Not that your guys are lacking in flavor, but it's a nice finishing touch.) Anyhoo, I wouldn't worry yourself too much over the mistakes. Monster making can be pretty hard for a beginner. As for building a monster without access to a Monster Manual, I can't imagine I'd ever have learned to build monsters without one. Most of the required information is in the MM and without it, you really don't even have the basics to get started. Some of it is in the PHB, but even that is often not the kind of thing players tend to use all that often. (Stuff like size modifiers and grapple special size modifiers for fine creatures.) P.S. Damn, this ended up a heck of a long post. Sorry for rambling on.
cog_n_taz 03-08-07, 08:22 AM	Didn't read the above post, but the way I see it, there is no way a sparkling can survive a fire, sorry:(.
Mattarias 03-08-07, 10:38 PM	-a lot of really, really useful stuff- :) Thanks for all the help. I'll get on that right away. I really like that 'always can take ten' thing.. Was thinking about something like that. Didn't read the above post, but the way I see it, there is no way a sparkling can survive a fire, sorry:(. I did mention it to be a rare occurence. nonmagical fire does 1d6 a round. if it only did one point of damage, and the sparkling got out, then it would work. But this is more of a fluff mechanic than anything else, so it shouldn't matter much.
M1kh43l_P4r4d1s0 03-08-07, 10:49 PM	I don't know if it has been mentioned, but Sparklings need to be magical beasts. They are not real, and therefor not animals. I'm not going to even begin on the dinosaurs in newer books... uggh
Silversheen197 03-08-07, 11:50 PM	Technically, a dire bat or dire lion aren't actual animals, nor are blood hawks, terror birds, or a whole bunch of other creatures of the animal type in D&D books. The thing that makes it an animal is that is has an Intelligence of 1 or 2, a neutral alignment, and no supernatural or spell-like abilities. If its got all that, the creator can make it the animal type if he/she wants. Another good example of a creature of the animal type that's not real is the roc. They most definately not real, but are animals.
Mattarias 03-09-07, 12:44 AM	Technically, a dire bat or dire lion aren't actual animals, nor are blood hawks, terror birds, or a whole bunch of other creatures of the animal type in D&D books. The thing that makes it an animal is that is has an Intelligence of 1 or 2, a neutral alignment, and no supernatural or spell-like abilities. If its got all that, the creator can make it the animal type if he/she wants. Another good example of a creature of the animal type that's not real is the roc. They most definately not real, but are animals. That's a good point. I did not notice that. (also, I should hope Rocs are not real. I'm deathly afraid of birds,you see. :eek: )
M1kh43l_P4r4d1s0 03-09-07, 05:21 PM	I am very aware of that. But the Dire creatures are supposed to be, I my oppinion, a type of prehistoric-esque verson of the animal. or merely a larger stronger type. The animal that aren't animals should'nt be, and therefore they should bring back the beast type.
Mattarias 03-09-07, 05:31 PM	I am very aware of that. But the Dire creatures are supposed to be, I my oppinion, a type of prehistoric-esque verson of the animal. or merely a larger stronger type. The animal that aren't animals should'nt be, and therefore they should bring back the beast type. I see. Well, no offense, but that's opinion and i respect that. I don't know much about types, let alone the Beast type, but i do know that my Sparkling falls into the prerequisites for the Animal type, and that's where it is staying.
Mattarias 03-12-07, 10:26 PM	... is it illegal to bump after you thread's gone off the first page? I'd like some critique here. something still seems kinda off..
cwslyclgh 03-13-07, 01:41 AM	as long as you wait 24 hours or so between bumps there shouldn't be a problem.
Mattarias 03-13-07, 07:20 PM	as long as you wait 24 hours or so between bumps there shouldn't be a problem. I see. Ok then. Thank you. eheh...