Post/Author/DateTime	Post
FallenWyvern 12-27-05, 09:20 PM	Hi! I've got a dragonslayer in my party and I wanted a good challenge for him and the party. I created this and I'd like some input on him. http://www.geocities.com/holmbrya/Khoras_Wyvern_Scout_of_Legend.pdf Compliments or comments are welcome, but please dont tell me how much it sucks or you dont like it. That never helps anyone.
dok 12-27-05, 11:30 PM	Here are a few helpful starters: 1.) Please don't post links to offsite-pages. Especially not off-site Geocities pages. Similarly, please don't post links to PDF files. If you're willing/able to make a PDF with the creature, go ahead & take the 20 seconds to Cut-and-Paste the monster's stat block and description into the body of your message. The more work I have to go through to read your monster, the less interested I am in doing so. 2.) If you're using special rules, templates, or modified creatures, it helps a lot to specify what those rules are, and the source they came from. I'm assuming that this monster is a Wyvern, with 4 levels of Scout (CAdv) and the Legendary Monster template (MMII) added. Assuming I've identified everything used correctly (and that's a big assumption) I see several problems: 1.) The Monster of Legend template cannot be applied to a Dragon. (only animals, magical beasts, and monstrous humanoids are eligible) 2.) The Monster of Legend grants one special attack, and you have four listed. 3.) The Monster of Legend template does not change the base creature's size. A 7 HD wyrvern is Large, while your creature is listed as having 7 HD and being Gargantuan. I also can't figure out how you derived the ability scores. They nearly match what I'd expect from a Wyvern + Creature of Legend + size increase, except that they don't; they're off by a few points here & there. It would be a lot more helpful if you noted which feats were bonus feats in the stat block with a (B), rather than noting it down in the descriptive text. A base Wyvern is CR 6. Monster of Legend adds +2 CR. 4 Scout levels add either +4 CR or +2, depending on if you think they're Associated class levels or not, for a final CR of either 10 or 12. Your final CR is 13, which suggests you gave it anotehr +1 CR for being one size larger. The problem is that you didn't advance it's hit dice any, which means you have a very large but very fragile Wyvern. You list a breath weapon with a DC of 22, which is incorrect; 10 + 7/2 + 10 = 23. You're using the Monster of Legend Reflective Hide, but you've re-written it so it works better than spell turning. I'm sorry, but a permenent, non-dispellable, non-discharging spell turning effect is good enough without it letting the creature act as the caster of any turned spell. Your hit point total is off: 7 * 6.5 = 45. 4 * 4.5 = 18. 45 + 18 + 110 = 175 Your initiative modifier is wrong. +3 (dex) +4 (improved initiative) +1 (Battle Fortitude) = +8, not +6. Your AC is correct, but your Touch AC is not. -4 size, +3 dex = 9 touch AC, not 10. Your Grapple bonus is wrong. BAB +10, size +12, Strength +11 = +33 not +34. Your Attack bonus is wrong. BAB +10, Strength +11, size -4 = +17, not +11. Your Full Attack attacks and damages are wrong. The primary attack, as above, is +17 to hit. Your Secondary attacks should be +15 to hit, and deal only +5 damage (1/2 strength bonus for all secondary attacks) Your Saving throw bonuses are wrong. A 7 HD dragon has base saves of +5 fortitude, +5 reflex, and +5 Will. 4 levels of Scout add +1/+4/+1. Monster of Legend adds +3 to all saving throws. Fortitude: 5 (dragon) +1 (scout) +3 (Monster of Legend) + 10 (Con) +1 (Battle Fortitude special ability) = +20, not +19. Reflex: 5 (dragon) + 4 (scout) + 3 (Monster of Legend) + 3 (Dex) = +15, not +17. Will: 5 (dragon) +1 (scout) +3 (monster of Legend) + 2 (Wisdom) = +11, not +13 The Hide skill is listed as +9. This creature's maximum number of ranks is 14; it's dex bonus is +3, and it's size penalty is -12 (gargantuan). With no Stealthy feat, Skill Focus feat, or racial bonus, it's mathmatically impossible to have a higher Hide bonus than +5. Now, setting aside all errors, let's look at the final product. Comparing it to an Adult Green Dragon (also CR 13) we see it has 100 fewer hit points, an AC five points worse, the same level of spellcasting, a weaker Breath Weapon, a much worse BAB, and weaker saves. For a CR 13 monster, it's AC and hit point totals aren't very good. It's attack bonus is mostly strength-driven, and spell turning isn't very good in 3.5, since it only turns Targeted spells and not Rays. Mostly, I'm left wondering at the 4 Scout levels. Why use those instead of, say, advancing the Wyvern by +8 HD. (+4 CR, +1 for size increase, final CR 13) That gets the Wyvern the same final CR, the desired size according to the rules, and gives +8 BAB, +4 to all saves, and 3 more feats. Oh, and +4 to all save DCs on Supernatural and Extraordinary abilities. The Scout levels just don't seem to add much. +10 ft of ground movement and Trackless Step on a flying creature? +1d6 Skirmish damage on a bite dealing 2d8+11 plus poison? It just looks very sub-optimal, and the final creature looks a little weak for its final CR.