First Monster (Undead) [Archive] - Wizards Community

First Monster (Undead) [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Deamon
07-06-06, 03:47 PM This is my first attempt to create a monster from scratch. I need help working out it's CR. Please tell me if I have made any errors.

Genocide Spirit
Huge Undead
Hit Dice: 10d12+3 (68hp)
Initiative: -1
Speed: 10ft. (2 squares), Fly 40ft. (perfect)
Armour Class: 13 (-2 size, -1 Dex, +6 Natural) Touch 7, Flat-Footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +5/+22
Attack: Tentacle +13 melee(2d6+9)
Full Attack: 4 Tentacles +13 melee(2d6+9), Bite +7 melee(2d6+4)
Space/Reach: 15ft./15ft.
Special Attacks: Anger aura
Special Qualities: Blindsight 60ft., damage reduction 5/-, undead traits
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +2, Will +8
Abilities: Str 28, Dex 8, Con -, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 16
Skills: Spot +16, Listen +16,
Feats: Ability Focus (Anger Aura), Alertness, Toughness, Weapon Focus Tentacle,
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: ?
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Chaotic Evil
Advancement: 11-16 (Huge); 17-25 (Gargantuan); 26-30 (Colossal)
Level Adjustment: -

Above you in the red mist you can dimly perceive a huge coiling mass of tentacles with a large central maw, dripping with blood and whispering about slaughters and the tales of those unjustly killed.
When an act of horrific violence is acted out, one that leaves dozens dead. The spirits of the butchered dead coalesce into a single body. They travel across the land causing violence and bloodshed. Many do not even realise they are near one until they leave allowing the creature to see it’s village in ruins filled with corpses. It is easy to find villages that have been destroyed by these monsters leaving them empty and deserted. Rumours of truly gigantic versions of them turning entire cities into bloodbaths.
Physically genocide spirits appear to be a large red mass constantly grow and shrinking tentacles. They are always surrounded by a strange red mist. At the centre there is a mouth that constantly secretes blood. This mouth whispers in horrifying detail the event that created it, as well as all the bloodshed it has ever caused.
Genocide spirits speak common but rarely talk to other creatures.
Combat.
A genocide spirit will fly above all it’s foes hoping that they will attack each other. When threatened it will try to get its foes to kill each other using its anger aura. Whatever happen the spirit will always try to stay out of combat.
Anger Aura (Su): All living creatures within 60ft. of the Genocide Spirit Must make a will save (DC 20, this is Charisma based) or immediately try to attack the nearest creature as if magically dominated. This lasts for 6 rounds when they victim gets a new save. If this would be obviously suicidal or strongly against the targets character they get a second attempt. Once a creature passes a save they are immune to that spirits aura for 24 hours.
pileobone
07-06-06, 04:16 PM Feats: Ability Focus (Anger Aura), Alertness You need two more feats here.

Anger Aura (Su):If a creature fails it's saving throw, how long does this ability last? Until they die? One round? How long?

Spell-like Ability (Sp): 1/day-dominate person (DC 18). Caster Level 10th.Hmm, not sure if I'm feelin this. I think you are probably ok just going with the Anger Aura.

Thats about all I see stat wise at the moment.

Some suggestions:

Attack: Slam +12 melee(2d6+9)
Full Attack: Slam +12 melee(2d6+9), Bite +7 melee(2d6+4)So, he's a creature made of writhing tentacles, but he doesn't have a tentacle attack? I think you should probably scrap the slam and add a tentacle at the same damage. On the full attack you could have 3 or 4 of them, a creature made of tentacles without a tentacle attack doesn't make any sense to me. ;)

Also, if you go the tentacle route, Constrict is an excellent ability and lots of fun.

Not sure about the CR at the moment, I'll get back to you when the creature is a little further along.
Deamon
07-07-06, 02:56 AM How is it now?
thasis
07-07-06, 03:20 AM I'm thinking CR6.

As to how it looks now, a little down on the ability side for the extravagant name and appearence, but balanced none-the-less (atleast from what I can see).
BladefellMaster
07-07-06, 11:08 AM give the creature the ability to cast circle of death once per dey, ability focus(anger aura), improved toughness, +2HD and a CR of 8. You could also add a wisdom draining bite and the improved grab ability but then you will probably have to give it a CR 9 :schemes:
pileobone
07-07-06, 11:51 AM Looks pretty good. I would suggest giving it Improved Grab and Constrict ability. This would do well in helping to keep pesky spell casters and ranged combatants from knocking it out of the air while the melee characters deal with the raging mob below.

Anger Aura (Su):Quick question, if a creature leaves the radius of this ability are they still under its effects? If so, I would suggest that you extend the range on it out to 60 ft. maybe.

With Imp Grab and constrict, I would put this maybe at a CR 7 maybe an 8.

By the way, I'd like to say you did an excellent job on the statistics with this monster. Not very many first time monster makers really put forth the effort to read through the rules thoroughly and get it right. Well done :thumbsup:
Deamon
07-07-06, 12:34 PM I origanally playtested it at cr 10, exept I advanced it to full HD. It killed everyone. I agree it could do with more abilitys. By the way, I'd like to say you did an excellent job on the statistics with this monster. Not very many first time monster makers really put forth the effort to read through the rules thoroughly and get it right. Well done Thanks. :)

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Deamon 07-06-06, 03:47 PM	This is my first attempt to create a monster from scratch. I need help working out it's CR. Please tell me if I have made any errors. Genocide Spirit Huge Undead Hit Dice: 10d12+3 (68hp) Initiative: -1 Speed: 10ft. (2 squares), Fly 40ft. (perfect) Armour Class: 13 (-2 size, -1 Dex, +6 Natural) Touch 7, Flat-Footed 13 Base Attack/Grapple: +5/+22 Attack: Tentacle +13 melee(2d6+9) Full Attack: 4 Tentacles +13 melee(2d6+9), Bite +7 melee(2d6+4) Space/Reach: 15ft./15ft. Special Attacks: Anger aura Special Qualities: Blindsight 60ft., damage reduction 5/-, undead traits Saves: Fort +3, Ref +2, Will +8 Abilities: Str 28, Dex 8, Con -, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 16 Skills: Spot +16, Listen +16, Feats: Ability Focus (Anger Aura), Alertness, Toughness, Weapon Focus Tentacle, Environment: Any Organization: Solitary Challenge Rating: ? Treasure: None Alignment: Always Chaotic Evil Advancement: 11-16 (Huge); 17-25 (Gargantuan); 26-30 (Colossal) Level Adjustment: - Above you in the red mist you can dimly perceive a huge coiling mass of tentacles with a large central maw, dripping with blood and whispering about slaughters and the tales of those unjustly killed. When an act of horrific violence is acted out, one that leaves dozens dead. The spirits of the butchered dead coalesce into a single body. They travel across the land causing violence and bloodshed. Many do not even realise they are near one until they leave allowing the creature to see it’s village in ruins filled with corpses. It is easy to find villages that have been destroyed by these monsters leaving them empty and deserted. Rumours of truly gigantic versions of them turning entire cities into bloodbaths. Physically genocide spirits appear to be a large red mass constantly grow and shrinking tentacles. They are always surrounded by a strange red mist. At the centre there is a mouth that constantly secretes blood. This mouth whispers in horrifying detail the event that created it, as well as all the bloodshed it has ever caused. Genocide spirits speak common but rarely talk to other creatures. Combat. A genocide spirit will fly above all it’s foes hoping that they will attack each other. When threatened it will try to get its foes to kill each other using its anger aura. Whatever happen the spirit will always try to stay out of combat. Anger Aura (Su): All living creatures within 60ft. of the Genocide Spirit Must make a will save (DC 20, this is Charisma based) or immediately try to attack the nearest creature as if magically dominated. This lasts for 6 rounds when they victim gets a new save. If this would be obviously suicidal or strongly against the targets character they get a second attempt. Once a creature passes a save they are immune to that spirits aura for 24 hours.
pileobone 07-06-06, 04:16 PM	Feats: Ability Focus (Anger Aura), Alertness You need two more feats here. Anger Aura (Su):If a creature fails it's saving throw, how long does this ability last? Until they die? One round? How long? Spell-like Ability (Sp): 1/day-dominate person (DC 18). Caster Level 10th.Hmm, not sure if I'm feelin this. I think you are probably ok just going with the Anger Aura. Thats about all I see stat wise at the moment. Some suggestions: Attack: Slam +12 melee(2d6+9) Full Attack: Slam +12 melee(2d6+9), Bite +7 melee(2d6+4)So, he's a creature made of writhing tentacles, but he doesn't have a tentacle attack? I think you should probably scrap the slam and add a tentacle at the same damage. On the full attack you could have 3 or 4 of them, a creature made of tentacles without a tentacle attack doesn't make any sense to me. ;) Also, if you go the tentacle route, Constrict is an excellent ability and lots of fun. Not sure about the CR at the moment, I'll get back to you when the creature is a little further along.
Deamon 07-07-06, 02:56 AM	How is it now?
thasis 07-07-06, 03:20 AM	I'm thinking CR6. As to how it looks now, a little down on the ability side for the extravagant name and appearence, but balanced none-the-less (atleast from what I can see).
BladefellMaster 07-07-06, 11:08 AM	give the creature the ability to cast circle of death once per dey, ability focus(anger aura), improved toughness, +2HD and a CR of 8. You could also add a wisdom draining bite and the improved grab ability but then you will probably have to give it a CR 9 :schemes:
pileobone 07-07-06, 11:51 AM	Looks pretty good. I would suggest giving it Improved Grab and Constrict ability. This would do well in helping to keep pesky spell casters and ranged combatants from knocking it out of the air while the melee characters deal with the raging mob below. Anger Aura (Su):Quick question, if a creature leaves the radius of this ability are they still under its effects? If so, I would suggest that you extend the range on it out to 60 ft. maybe. With Imp Grab and constrict, I would put this maybe at a CR 7 maybe an 8. By the way, I'd like to say you did an excellent job on the statistics with this monster. Not very many first time monster makers really put forth the effort to read through the rules thoroughly and get it right. Well done :thumbsup:
Deamon 07-07-06, 12:34 PM	I origanally playtested it at cr 10, exept I advanced it to full HD. It killed everyone. I agree it could do with more abilitys. By the way, I'd like to say you did an excellent job on the statistics with this monster. Not very many first time monster makers really put forth the effort to read through the rules thoroughly and get it right. Well done Thanks. :)