Persian Immortal (PEACH) [Archive] - Wizards Community

Persian Immortal (PEACH) [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Kardanok
03-31-07, 12:10 PM Persian Immortal

Hit Dice: d12

Overview

The Immortals were the most feared of Xerxes' army. They were the best of the best, given their name because many believed them to be invincible. After undergoing brutal training, they took their places on the battlefield in many a battle.

Requirements
Base Attack Bonus: +6
Skills: Intimidate 6 ranks
Feats: Power Attack, Toughness, Iron Will.

Class Skills

The Immortal’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Climb (Str), Craft (Int), Handle Animal (Cha), Intimidate (Cha), Jump (Str), Ride (Dex), and Swim (Str), Tumble (Dex).

Skill Points at each level: 2 + Int modifier

Class Features

Immortal
Level BAB Fort Ref Will Special
1st +1 +2 +0 +0 Common Folk's Fear, Immunity to Fear,
2nd +2 +3 +0 +0 Endurance
3rd +3 +4 +1 +1 Icy Gaze 1/day
4th +4 +4 +1 +1 Improved Shield Bash
5th +5 +5 +2 +2 Icy Gaze 2/day
6th +6 +5 +2 +2 Immortal Loyalty 1
7th +7 +6 +2 +2 Icy Gaze 3/day
8th +8 +7 +2 +2 Immunity to Paralysis
9th +9 +8 +3 +3 Icy Gaze 4/day
10th +10 +8 +3 +3 Immortal Loyalty 2

All of the following are Class Features of the Immortal prestige class.

Weapon and Armor Proficiency
Immortals are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, with all types of armor, and with shields.

Immunity to Fear
Beginning at 1st level, The Immortal is no longer effected by the Fear spell.

Immunity to Paralysis
Beginning at 8th level, The Immortal can no longer fall under the Paralyzed condition.

Common Folk's Fear
Due to their infamous reputation, Immortals are feared by common folk throughout the land. They recieve +4 to intimidate checks made against commoners (i.e. Not belonging to a military faction.)

Icy Gaze
Starting at 3rd level, an Immortal can use the Icy Gaze ability. Icy gaze is a free action, and may used against any enemy the Immortal is fighting. The ability casts the fear spell upon the opponent unless he succeeds a DC15 (increases to DC20 at 5th, and DC25 at 7th) Will save. To use this ability, the opponent must be able to see the Immortals eyes, or his mask.

Immortal Loyalty 1
Starting at 10th level, the Immortal is loyal to his king, even beyond death. If his HP reaches 0 or less, he may continue to act normally for 3 + Wis modifier rounds. If he reaches -10hp during this time, he may still continue to act normally until the end of his 3 + Wis modifier rounds. Once he reaches -10hp he becomes immune to all forms of healing, magical or not.

Immortal Loyalty 2
At 9th level the Immortal Loyalty 1 ability is replaced with the Immortal Loyalty 2 ability.

the Immortal is loyal to his king, even beyond death. If his HP reaches 0 or less, he may continue to act normally for 3 + Wis modifier rounds. If he reaches -10hp during this time, he may still continue to act normally until the end of his 3 + Wis modifier rounds. In the last round of his 3 + Wis modifier rounds, he recieves a temporary +4 bonus to Strength and + 4 bonus to attacks. Once he reaches -10hp he becomes immune to all forms of healing, magical or not.

Notes

The class is basically based on the Immortals from Frank Miller's 300, with some historical influence, and an emphasis on intimidate and fear based abilities. This is the first prestige class I've made, so critique is especially appreciated.
The_Shaman
03-31-07, 04:27 PM I suppose it's incomplete (no features after lvl 7), but it doesn't look especially impressive. Give me one reason you can't do the same thing with a straight fighter.

As an aside, I love the reason why they were really called immortals (okay, as "really" as you can trust the anecdotes of that period). Apparently dark humor prospered in the classical period.
Cartigan
03-31-07, 09:17 PM If you are going to base it on those immortals, you might as well give them some sort of Fiend template at a higher level.
Krusk
03-31-07, 10:59 PM I would change icy gaze ability from "flees from battle", to "as the fear spell".

Baseing them off that movie is really sort of a lame idea for a class, "i want to be a ledgendary fighter who it turns out is way overrated"?

Perhapse some sort of "Loyal beyond death" ability? At level 10 the immortal is loyal to his king, even beyond death. If he is struck down in battle, 0hp or less, he may continue to act normally for 3+wis mod rounds. If he reaches -10hp during this time, he may still continue to act as normal until the end of his 3+wis mod rounds. Once he reaches -10 he becomes immune to all forms of healing, magical or non.

Maybe even a tree of "loyal" abilities. those guys looked pretty loyal to xerxes if you ask me.

Level 1 bonus vs fear effects

level 3 bonus to resist intimidate

level 5 ?

level 7?

Level 9?

Level 10 loyal beyond death.
PhaedrusXY
03-31-07, 11:06 PM As an aside, I love the reason why they were really called immortals (okay, as "really" as you can trust the anecdotes of that period). Apparently dark humor prospered in the classical period.Ok, how about giving us non-historians a bit more of a clue?
Tuhljin
04-01-07, 02:42 AM Xerxes's "Immortals" were called this because when one died, another soldier immediately replaced him. Another interesting tidbit, and I don't know if 300 put this across as I haven't seen it, is that the immortals intimidated their opponents by their deathly silence and their masked faces, as opposed to the customary yelling and jeers that soldiers normally taunt each other with when facing off before battle. But they wore only light (and fairly weak) armor, including wicker shields easily pierced by strong spears.

Yeah, I saw a History channel special a few days ago. :D
The_Shaman
04-01-07, 04:59 AM Yep ;) . They were famous as their unit was always kept at its full size - 10,000 men - but no one said it was the same 10,000. The unit was in fact the shock troops of the Persian army, and as such usually received rather high casualties.
Gazrivmar
04-01-07, 09:19 AM Technically its a fair PrC because the Req's are pretty low and the abilities aren't too powerful. If what your going for is flavor then you do have that, w/o going crazy. I do agree that it should be "as fear spell" instead of "flees from battle". I always saw it better to emulate spells w/ class features where possible. Definitely add something to the end of it though, otherwise make it a 5 level and squeeze it into that.
Eragon_seer
04-01-07, 09:26 AM if you do this it would be impossible not to make a spartan prc.... realy though why not just go straight fighter and sink skill points into intimidate.

But then again thier tactics didnt work very well against the spartans. those wicker shields were like butter and the spartans spears were the knife. Kudos to the history Channel!!
Kardanok
04-01-07, 10:22 AM Thanks for the comments everybody. Sorry to see it wasn't greatly liked, but I plan to keep changing it until it's a more fun class. And Krusk, I hope you don't mind, I basically put your idea in there with minor modifications. I really liked it.
Krusk
04-01-07, 01:58 PM thats why i gave them, go for it.

I based the loyalty one off of wis because i saw it a matter of will to refuse to die. But it could be con, too tough to die.

Maybe they should get diehard and endurance in there somewhere at early levels, or even prereqs.
They seem approperiate.
The_Shaman
04-01-07, 03:35 PM Instead of the toughness feat, can't they just get a d12? Toughness - or improved toughness, let's not be overly mean - could be a prerequisite.

And still I'm not sure it'd have much of an advantage over 10 levels of fighter (5 feats, count towards weapon specialization/supremacy).
Kardanok
04-01-07, 06:05 PM Alright, just switched it around a bit according to reccomendations. PEACH! :D
AllWillFall2Me
04-01-07, 09:17 PM The only complaint I have, is that the Steel Loyalty and Immortal Loyalty, are exceeding similar, and both change modifier mid-ability for seemingly no reason. As a suggestion, have Steel Loyalty be a straight Ferocity (Meaning fight until -10) effect, and Immortal Loyalty be a "ignore death for 3+wis rounds". Though it seems a touch anticlimactic for a capstone. Perhaps you could have them receive bonuses for those last few rounds. Like a bonus to attacks and damage. "Knowing that they have nothing left to give, the immortals give all they have left for the God-king."
Also, you could have an every odd level immunity. 3 is Fear, 5 is mind-affecting ,7 is fatigue, 9 is Something.
Krusk
04-01-07, 09:21 PM I thought they were similar as well, but i couldnt think of anything to do about it.

A suggestion might be to look at phb2 barbarian rage alternitive and give that or a varient of it to this class. As they take damage they get stronger.

Im also a fan of the immunities every so many levels.
AllWillFall2Me
04-01-07, 09:26 PM Actually, the PHB2's barabrian variant would be a good way to do my Immortal Loyalty suggestion. When they go under -10, they enter a rage-like state. Burning the last of their life out in glorious combat.
PS: I'd like to thank you for working on this class, as I was developing a nation in my campaign world that I describe as "1 part Rome, 1 part 300's Persia, 1 part fantasy Arabia". And I was wondering how I was going to get a good Immortal sect.
ericSHINRA
04-01-07, 11:50 PM Why give them 3+INT Skill Points? With such few skills I'd stick to 2+INT.

While I'd like to see these guys go up against my Spartan Elite PrC, but then again it would be rather one sided as members of my Prestige Class are immune to Fear as as such Icy Gaze would be useless.

Spartan Elite~
http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=813377
Krusk
04-02-07, 01:28 AM i didnt even notice 3, generally stick to even numbers 2 or 4 just for consistency.
Kardanok
04-02-07, 10:44 AM Fixed the skill points and added to the Immortal Loyalty 2 ability. I'm thinking to either replace, or add to the Bonus Feat for 8th level. Any ideas?

@ ericSHINRA

Very nice job on the class, I love how you balanced the overall power with the Ex-Spartan Elites ability.
The_Shaman
04-02-07, 01:09 PM BTW, it might not be too much to give them good will saves. Maybe also mettle, but I don't know how often it seels use.
smeagol_lied
04-02-07, 01:33 PM BTW, it might not be too much to give them good will saves. Maybe also mettle, but I don't know how often it seels use.
Isn't mettle just basically evasion but with fort instead of ref?
Krusk
04-02-07, 02:44 PM essentially. /\.

As for the bonus feat, i would kill it off in favor of immunity to fear and maybe something else. Maybe immune to fear and paralysis? dont have time for fear, and too busy to be paralyzed.
Kardanok
04-02-07, 03:05 PM Alright, ended up on choosing Immunity to Fear and Immunity to Paralysis, 'nother great suggestion Krusk, thanks :) I consider the class to be pretty much done at this point, but I'll still make changes according to people reccommendations, if they seem worthwhile.
ericSHINRA
04-02-07, 03:16 PM Double Post.
Sorry.
ericSHINRA
04-02-07, 03:17 PM Very nice job on the class, I love how you balanced the overall power with the Ex-Spartan Elites ability.

Thanks, Kardanok. You did fine job on the Persian Immortal too.
Lotus Crane
04-02-07, 03:55 PM Isn't mettle just basically evasion but with fort instead of ref?
Mettle is like evasion except for Fort and Will saves. So it can negate harm too.

Anyway, this class is (thankfully) less embarrassingly fanboyish than the various Spartan classes that have been popping up, and roughly within the realm of actual balance. So I don't have much to nitpick about, even though I'm doing my best. ^_~

1) I would say drop the hit die to d10 (the Immortals only got their name because they were indistinguishable and easily replaced), raise the skill points to 4+Int (at least as far as "300" is concerned, they're portrayed as black-clad, semi-ninja-ish fellows), and give them a few more class skills - specifically Balance (hounds of the empire), Escape Artist (unstoppable), Knowledge (Nobility and Royalty), Profession (because everybody has it, I guess), and Use Rope (all about slavery, or making that tree of corpses).

2) What's up with those weird save progressions? Make them standardized: good is +2/+3/+3/+4/+4/+5/+5/+6/+6/+7, poor is +0/+0/+1/+1/+1/+2/+2/+2/+3/+3. Your Fort is totally out of whack; your Ref and Will just need to have their level 5's change from +2 to +1.

3) Immunity to Fear and Paralysis should have cooler names. Also, immunity to fear should be changed to provide immunity to all forms of fear, not just the fear spell, which represents maybe only 10-25% of the times a character becomes frightened, panicked, or shaken (dragons' frightful presences are usually the biggest culprit).

4) Icy Gaze needs to have some kind of restriction; either change it to a swift action, a free action that can't be used more than once per round/minute/whatever, or that a creature can't be targetted/affected by the ability more than once per battle/day/whatever. Also, the save DC shouldn't be a series of static numbers like that, it should be 10+class (Immortal) level+ability score modifier (probably Cha).

5) Immortal Loyalty might make more sense as a Cha-based ability than as a Wis-based one. Also, don't call it Immortal Loyalty "I and II," call the second ability "Final/Greater/True" Immortal Loyalty. Finally, you don't need to say "ability is replaced with" and then reprint the entire description of the original ability; just say "now when the Immortal drops to -10 hit points or less, he gains a so-and-so bonus to blah-blah during his final round of action."
Kardanok
04-02-07, 04:13 PM Awesome advice :D I'll be sure to switch around some stuff later according to your reccommendations. People on this site are great for helping out with homebrew stuff, thanks.
Flymolo
04-03-07, 07:04 PM Wouldn't they work as just Swordsages?
Fencerboy
04-04-07, 11:00 PM If you are basing them directly off the movie 300, I seem to remember they wielded two katanas(curses!! No bacon here!) instead of shields, but then again all hail HC...
But if you decide to use the two katanas, mebbe substitute Power Attack for TWF as a Prereq...

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Kardanok 03-31-07, 12:10 PM	Persian Immortal Hit Dice: d12 Overview The Immortals were the most feared of Xerxes' army. They were the best of the best, given their name because many believed them to be invincible. After undergoing brutal training, they took their places on the battlefield in many a battle. Requirements Base Attack Bonus: +6 Skills: Intimidate 6 ranks Feats: Power Attack, Toughness, Iron Will. Class Skills The Immortal’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Climb (Str), Craft (Int), Handle Animal (Cha), Intimidate (Cha), Jump (Str), Ride (Dex), and Swim (Str), Tumble (Dex). Skill Points at each level: 2 + Int modifier Class Features Immortal Level BAB Fort Ref Will Special 1st +1 +2 +0 +0 Common Folk's Fear, Immunity to Fear, 2nd +2 +3 +0 +0 Endurance 3rd +3 +4 +1 +1 Icy Gaze 1/day 4th +4 +4 +1 +1 Improved Shield Bash 5th +5 +5 +2 +2 Icy Gaze 2/day 6th +6 +5 +2 +2 Immortal Loyalty 1 7th +7 +6 +2 +2 Icy Gaze 3/day 8th +8 +7 +2 +2 Immunity to Paralysis 9th +9 +8 +3 +3 Icy Gaze 4/day 10th +10 +8 +3 +3 Immortal Loyalty 2 All of the following are Class Features of the Immortal prestige class. Weapon and Armor Proficiency Immortals are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, with all types of armor, and with shields. Immunity to Fear Beginning at 1st level, The Immortal is no longer effected by the Fear spell. Immunity to Paralysis Beginning at 8th level, The Immortal can no longer fall under the Paralyzed condition. Common Folk's Fear Due to their infamous reputation, Immortals are feared by common folk throughout the land. They recieve +4 to intimidate checks made against commoners (i.e. Not belonging to a military faction.) Icy Gaze Starting at 3rd level, an Immortal can use the Icy Gaze ability. Icy gaze is a free action, and may used against any enemy the Immortal is fighting. The ability casts the fear spell upon the opponent unless he succeeds a DC15 (increases to DC20 at 5th, and DC25 at 7th) Will save. To use this ability, the opponent must be able to see the Immortals eyes, or his mask. Immortal Loyalty 1 Starting at 10th level, the Immortal is loyal to his king, even beyond death. If his HP reaches 0 or less, he may continue to act normally for 3 + Wis modifier rounds. If he reaches -10hp during this time, he may still continue to act normally until the end of his 3 + Wis modifier rounds. Once he reaches -10hp he becomes immune to all forms of healing, magical or not. Immortal Loyalty 2 At 9th level the Immortal Loyalty 1 ability is replaced with the Immortal Loyalty 2 ability. the Immortal is loyal to his king, even beyond death. If his HP reaches 0 or less, he may continue to act normally for 3 + Wis modifier rounds. If he reaches -10hp during this time, he may still continue to act normally until the end of his 3 + Wis modifier rounds. In the last round of his 3 + Wis modifier rounds, he recieves a temporary +4 bonus to Strength and + 4 bonus to attacks. Once he reaches -10hp he becomes immune to all forms of healing, magical or not. Notes The class is basically based on the Immortals from Frank Miller's 300, with some historical influence, and an emphasis on intimidate and fear based abilities. This is the first prestige class I've made, so critique is especially appreciated.
The_Shaman 03-31-07, 04:27 PM	I suppose it's incomplete (no features after lvl 7), but it doesn't look especially impressive. Give me one reason you can't do the same thing with a straight fighter. As an aside, I love the reason why they were really called immortals (okay, as "really" as you can trust the anecdotes of that period). Apparently dark humor prospered in the classical period.
Cartigan 03-31-07, 09:17 PM	If you are going to base it on those immortals, you might as well give them some sort of Fiend template at a higher level.
Krusk 03-31-07, 10:59 PM	I would change icy gaze ability from "flees from battle", to "as the fear spell". Baseing them off that movie is really sort of a lame idea for a class, "i want to be a ledgendary fighter who it turns out is way overrated"? Perhapse some sort of "Loyal beyond death" ability? At level 10 the immortal is loyal to his king, even beyond death. If he is struck down in battle, 0hp or less, he may continue to act normally for 3+wis mod rounds. If he reaches -10hp during this time, he may still continue to act as normal until the end of his 3+wis mod rounds. Once he reaches -10 he becomes immune to all forms of healing, magical or non. Maybe even a tree of "loyal" abilities. those guys looked pretty loyal to xerxes if you ask me. Level 1 bonus vs fear effects level 3 bonus to resist intimidate level 5 ? level 7? Level 9? Level 10 loyal beyond death.
PhaedrusXY 03-31-07, 11:06 PM	As an aside, I love the reason why they were really called immortals (okay, as "really" as you can trust the anecdotes of that period). Apparently dark humor prospered in the classical period.Ok, how about giving us non-historians a bit more of a clue?
Tuhljin 04-01-07, 02:42 AM	Xerxes's "Immortals" were called this because when one died, another soldier immediately replaced him. Another interesting tidbit, and I don't know if 300 put this across as I haven't seen it, is that the immortals intimidated their opponents by their deathly silence and their masked faces, as opposed to the customary yelling and jeers that soldiers normally taunt each other with when facing off before battle. But they wore only light (and fairly weak) armor, including wicker shields easily pierced by strong spears. Yeah, I saw a History channel special a few days ago. :D
The_Shaman 04-01-07, 04:59 AM	Yep ;) . They were famous as their unit was always kept at its full size - 10,000 men - but no one said it was the same 10,000. The unit was in fact the shock troops of the Persian army, and as such usually received rather high casualties.
Gazrivmar 04-01-07, 09:19 AM	Technically its a fair PrC because the Req's are pretty low and the abilities aren't too powerful. If what your going for is flavor then you do have that, w/o going crazy. I do agree that it should be "as fear spell" instead of "flees from battle". I always saw it better to emulate spells w/ class features where possible. Definitely add something to the end of it though, otherwise make it a 5 level and squeeze it into that.
Eragon_seer 04-01-07, 09:26 AM	if you do this it would be impossible not to make a spartan prc.... realy though why not just go straight fighter and sink skill points into intimidate. But then again thier tactics didnt work very well against the spartans. those wicker shields were like butter and the spartans spears were the knife. Kudos to the history Channel!!
Kardanok 04-01-07, 10:22 AM	Thanks for the comments everybody. Sorry to see it wasn't greatly liked, but I plan to keep changing it until it's a more fun class. And Krusk, I hope you don't mind, I basically put your idea in there with minor modifications. I really liked it.
Krusk 04-01-07, 01:58 PM	thats why i gave them, go for it. I based the loyalty one off of wis because i saw it a matter of will to refuse to die. But it could be con, too tough to die. Maybe they should get diehard and endurance in there somewhere at early levels, or even prereqs. They seem approperiate.
The_Shaman 04-01-07, 03:35 PM	Instead of the toughness feat, can't they just get a d12? Toughness - or improved toughness, let's not be overly mean - could be a prerequisite. And still I'm not sure it'd have much of an advantage over 10 levels of fighter (5 feats, count towards weapon specialization/supremacy).
Kardanok 04-01-07, 06:05 PM	Alright, just switched it around a bit according to reccomendations. PEACH! :D
AllWillFall2Me 04-01-07, 09:17 PM	The only complaint I have, is that the Steel Loyalty and Immortal Loyalty, are exceeding similar, and both change modifier mid-ability for seemingly no reason. As a suggestion, have Steel Loyalty be a straight Ferocity (Meaning fight until -10) effect, and Immortal Loyalty be a "ignore death for 3+wis rounds". Though it seems a touch anticlimactic for a capstone. Perhaps you could have them receive bonuses for those last few rounds. Like a bonus to attacks and damage. "Knowing that they have nothing left to give, the immortals give all they have left for the God-king." Also, you could have an every odd level immunity. 3 is Fear, 5 is mind-affecting ,7 is fatigue, 9 is Something.
Krusk 04-01-07, 09:21 PM	I thought they were similar as well, but i couldnt think of anything to do about it. A suggestion might be to look at phb2 barbarian rage alternitive and give that or a varient of it to this class. As they take damage they get stronger. Im also a fan of the immunities every so many levels.
AllWillFall2Me 04-01-07, 09:26 PM	Actually, the PHB2's barabrian variant would be a good way to do my Immortal Loyalty suggestion. When they go under -10, they enter a rage-like state. Burning the last of their life out in glorious combat. PS: I'd like to thank you for working on this class, as I was developing a nation in my campaign world that I describe as "1 part Rome, 1 part 300's Persia, 1 part fantasy Arabia". And I was wondering how I was going to get a good Immortal sect.
ericSHINRA 04-01-07, 11:50 PM	Why give them 3+INT Skill Points? With such few skills I'd stick to 2+INT. While I'd like to see these guys go up against my Spartan Elite PrC, but then again it would be rather one sided as members of my Prestige Class are immune to Fear as as such Icy Gaze would be useless. Spartan Elite~ http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=813377
Krusk 04-02-07, 01:28 AM	i didnt even notice 3, generally stick to even numbers 2 or 4 just for consistency.
Kardanok 04-02-07, 10:44 AM	Fixed the skill points and added to the Immortal Loyalty 2 ability. I'm thinking to either replace, or add to the Bonus Feat for 8th level. Any ideas? @ ericSHINRA Very nice job on the class, I love how you balanced the overall power with the Ex-Spartan Elites ability.
The_Shaman 04-02-07, 01:09 PM	BTW, it might not be too much to give them good will saves. Maybe also mettle, but I don't know how often it seels use.
smeagol_lied 04-02-07, 01:33 PM	BTW, it might not be too much to give them good will saves. Maybe also mettle, but I don't know how often it seels use. Isn't mettle just basically evasion but with fort instead of ref?
Krusk 04-02-07, 02:44 PM	essentially. /\. As for the bonus feat, i would kill it off in favor of immunity to fear and maybe something else. Maybe immune to fear and paralysis? dont have time for fear, and too busy to be paralyzed.
Kardanok 04-02-07, 03:05 PM	Alright, ended up on choosing Immunity to Fear and Immunity to Paralysis, 'nother great suggestion Krusk, thanks :) I consider the class to be pretty much done at this point, but I'll still make changes according to people reccommendations, if they seem worthwhile.
ericSHINRA 04-02-07, 03:16 PM	Double Post. Sorry.
ericSHINRA 04-02-07, 03:17 PM	Very nice job on the class, I love how you balanced the overall power with the Ex-Spartan Elites ability. Thanks, Kardanok. You did fine job on the Persian Immortal too.
Lotus Crane 04-02-07, 03:55 PM	Isn't mettle just basically evasion but with fort instead of ref? Mettle is like evasion except for Fort and Will saves. So it can negate harm too. Anyway, this class is (thankfully) less embarrassingly fanboyish than the various Spartan classes that have been popping up, and roughly within the realm of actual balance. So I don't have much to nitpick about, even though I'm doing my best. ^_~ 1) I would say drop the hit die to d10 (the Immortals only got their name because they were indistinguishable and easily replaced), raise the skill points to 4+Int (at least as far as "300" is concerned, they're portrayed as black-clad, semi-ninja-ish fellows), and give them a few more class skills - specifically Balance (hounds of the empire), Escape Artist (unstoppable), Knowledge (Nobility and Royalty), Profession (because everybody has it, I guess), and Use Rope (all about slavery, or making that tree of corpses). 2) What's up with those weird save progressions? Make them standardized: good is +2/+3/+3/+4/+4/+5/+5/+6/+6/+7, poor is +0/+0/+1/+1/+1/+2/+2/+2/+3/+3. Your Fort is totally out of whack; your Ref and Will just need to have their level 5's change from +2 to +1. 3) Immunity to Fear and Paralysis should have cooler names. Also, immunity to fear should be changed to provide immunity to all forms of fear, not just the fear spell, which represents maybe only 10-25% of the times a character becomes frightened, panicked, or shaken (dragons' frightful presences are usually the biggest culprit). 4) Icy Gaze needs to have some kind of restriction; either change it to a swift action, a free action that can't be used more than once per round/minute/whatever, or that a creature can't be targetted/affected by the ability more than once per battle/day/whatever. Also, the save DC shouldn't be a series of static numbers like that, it should be 10+class (Immortal) level+ability score modifier (probably Cha). 5) Immortal Loyalty might make more sense as a Cha-based ability than as a Wis-based one. Also, don't call it Immortal Loyalty "I and II," call the second ability "Final/Greater/True" Immortal Loyalty. Finally, you don't need to say "ability is replaced with" and then reprint the entire description of the original ability; just say "now when the Immortal drops to -10 hit points or less, he gains a so-and-so bonus to blah-blah during his final round of action."
Kardanok 04-02-07, 04:13 PM	Awesome advice :D I'll be sure to switch around some stuff later according to your reccommendations. People on this site are great for helping out with homebrew stuff, thanks.
Flymolo 04-03-07, 07:04 PM	Wouldn't they work as just Swordsages?
Fencerboy 04-04-07, 11:00 PM	If you are basing them directly off the movie 300, I seem to remember they wielded two katanas(curses!! No bacon here!) instead of shields, but then again all hail HC... But if you decide to use the two katanas, mebbe substitute Power Attack for TWF as a Prereq...