New to creating races and need feedback. (Posted in the correct forum this time!) [Archive] - Wizards Community

New to creating races and need feedback. (Posted in the correct forum this time!) [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
DC45FortSaveVsDeath
04-14-07, 09:59 PM The Rundown:

I've been playing around with making a D&D campaign setting out of Delta Tao's Clanlord (http://www.deltatao.com/clanlord/) with my friend, but I'm new to this kind of thing. Here's what I have so far race-wise. If anyone has advice, feedback, or needs to tell me I'm doing something drastically stupid, I'd really like to hear it.

If you need something to compare these to, humans, halflings, elves and dwarves as they appear in the PHB will be the other playable races included in the setting, with the sole exception that elves will be called sylvan.

Fen'neko (The People)
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/fen.gifhttp://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/fengirl.gif

+2 Dex, -2 Con
Medium size
The people's base land speed is 30 feet.
+2 to tumble, move silently, listen and balance checks.
Low-light vision
Improved Initiative
Automatic Language: Common and Fen'neko.
Favored class: Any
Fluff: Present and accounted for. (http://puddleopedia.org/Entry/ThePeople)

Ghorak Zo
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/zo.gifhttp://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/zogirl.gif

+2 Str, -2 Cha, -2 Int
Medium size
Ghorak zo base land speed is 30 feet.
+2 to intimidate checks
-2 to hide, move silently and tumble checks
Powerful Build
Automatic Language: Common and Ghorak Zo.
Favored class: Barbarian
Fluff: Present and accounted for. (http://puddleopedia.org/Entry/GhorakZo)

Thoom
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/thoom.gifhttp://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/thoomgirl.gif

+2 Wis, -2 Str
Medium size
Thoom base land speed is 30 feet.
+2 to heal, swim and concentration checks
Thoom have a swim speed of 30 feet.
Automatic Language: Common and Thoom.
Favored class: Cleric
Fluff: Present and accounted for. (http://puddleopedia.org/Entry/Thoom)

So, yeah. Advice, fixes, and criticism are all great.
DC45FortSaveVsDeath
04-15-07, 12:56 AM :bump:

Updated a lot of stuff based on criticism received in the thread that I posted in the wrong place like an idiot.
Spikes01k
04-15-07, 01:32 AM Ghorak Zo are a very week LA +1, Powerful build is not equal to a feat.

Although you did come up with a good idea on +1 intimidate.
DC45FortSaveVsDeath
04-15-07, 01:38 AM Ghorak Zo are a very week LA +1, Powerful build is not equal to a feat.

Although you did come up with a good idea on +1 intimidate.

What do you suggest to replace powerful build?
Warforged Goblin
04-15-07, 09:51 AM Ok, let's start.

Fen'neko (The People)
Favored class: None

Sadly, this means that no matter what class they take, they'll have a 30% Xp penalty. I suggest bard, ninja, or rogue as their favored class.

Ghorak Zo

Ghorak Zo base land speed is 30 feet. However, Ghorak Zo can move at this speed even when wearing medium or heavy armor or carrying a medium or heavy load.

My suggestion to balance the powerful build trait would be to drop their base land speed to that of a dwarf's. 20 feet all the time unless in heavy armor.

The thoom look great as they are.
DC45FortSaveVsDeath
04-15-07, 03:28 PM Ok, let's start.

Sadly, this means that no matter what class they take, they'll have a 30% Xp penalty. I suggest bard, ninja, or rogue as their favored class.

My suggestion to balance the powerful build trait would be to drop their base land speed to that of a dwarf's. 20 feet all the time unless in heavy armor.

The thoom look great as they are.

Fen are pretty varied in the game. Would it too much to give them "any" as favored class? As for zo, they're something like seven feet tall, it wouldn't make in character sense to drop their land speed to 20. Is there another penalty they could take instead?
IronFistMonkCerberlain
04-15-07, 03:44 PM Fen are pretty varied in the game. Would it too much to give them "any" as favored class? As for zo, they're something like seven feet tall, it wouldn't make in character sense to drop their land speed to 20. Is there another penalty they could take instead?
for fen, go ahead and give them any, its not that much of a bonus, or u could make it so the first class they take is their favorite class
for zo, maybe a -2 to dex or wis, or possible a minus (around 2 or 3) on some checks, like hide, move silently, balance, and tumble
DC45FortSaveVsDeath
04-15-07, 03:58 PM for fen, go ahead and give them any, its not that much of a bonus, or u could make it so the first class they take is their favorite class
for zo, maybe a -2 to dex or wis, or possible a minus (around 2 or 3) on some checks, like hide, move silently, balance, and tumble

Thanks. Changed some stuff.
Nadaka
04-15-07, 04:08 PM Your fen Neko are weaker than elves, and elves are not as strong as humans, halflings, or dwarves.

YOur Gorak Zo are a very powerful race... They still might need another penalty, but you might be able to get by without one.

The Thoom look ok to me, but some wil scoff at a +2 to a mental ability score without an LA.
DC45FortSaveVsDeath
04-15-07, 04:11 PM Your fen Neko are weaker than elves, and elves are not as strong as humans, halflings, or dwarves.

YOur Gorak Zo are a very powerful race... They still might need another penalty, but you might be able to get by without one.

The Thoom look ok to me, but some wil scoff at a +2 to a mental ability score without an LA.

What do you recommend to buff fen some?
IronFistMonkCerberlain
04-15-07, 04:16 PM now that I take another look at the zo, they do still seem a little strong

maybe up the penalty to cha or int to -4, or drop the bonuses on jump and climb checks (they will already be getting a +1 from the str bonus).
DC45FortSaveVsDeath
04-15-07, 04:19 PM drop the bonuses on jump and climb checks (they will already be getting a +1 from the str bonus).

Done. Thank you.
DC45FortSaveVsDeath
04-16-07, 02:41 AM :bump:
I got bored and added pictures. These were made on Stylunk (http://seankerwin.org/Stylunk/), a very cool program that simulates the looks of different clothing combinations that could be used in Clanlord.
YabaTheWhat
04-16-07, 08:28 AM Fen'neko (The People)
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/fen.gifhttp://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/fengirl.gif
+2 Dex, -2 Con
Medium size
The people's base land speed is 30 feet.
+2 to tumble, jump, move silently and balance checks.
Low-light vision
Automatic Language: Common and Fen'neko.
Favored class: Any

Ghorak Zo
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/zo.gifhttp://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/zogirl.gif
+2 Str, -2 Cha, -2 Int
Medium size
Ghorak zo base land speed is 30 feet.
+2 to intimidate checks
-2 to hide, move silently and tumble checks
Powerful Build
Automatic Language: Common and Ghorak Zo.
Favored class: Barbarian

Thoom
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/thoom.gifhttp://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/thoomgirl.gif
+2 Wis, -2 Str
Medium size
Thoom base land speed is 30 feet.
+2 to heal, swim and concentration checks
Automatic Language: Common and Thoom.
Favored class: Cleric
Trimming down to the basics for easy viewing. The fen'neko and thoom are both underpowered and relatively uninteresting as far as abilities are concerned. Ghorak Zo should be balanced as is; they'll be good in melee at the cost of being pigeonholed.
Peregrine_Wolf
04-16-07, 04:20 PM The Fen are basically a mix of halflings and elves. I suggest a racial ability like something that allows them to move through an enemies square or something like that.
DC45FortSaveVsDeath
04-17-07, 04:15 AM :bump:
In an effort to bring thoom and fen up to par, I gave thoom a swim speed, and fen improved initiative.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
DC45FortSaveVsDeath 04-14-07, 09:59 PM	The Rundown: I've been playing around with making a D&D campaign setting out of Delta Tao's Clanlord (http://www.deltatao.com/clanlord/) with my friend, but I'm new to this kind of thing. Here's what I have so far race-wise. If anyone has advice, feedback, or needs to tell me I'm doing something drastically stupid, I'd really like to hear it. If you need something to compare these to, humans, halflings, elves and dwarves as they appear in the PHB will be the other playable races included in the setting, with the sole exception that elves will be called sylvan. Fen'neko (The People) http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/fen.gifhttp://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/fengirl.gif +2 Dex, -2 Con Medium size The people's base land speed is 30 feet. +2 to tumble, move silently, listen and balance checks. Low-light vision Improved Initiative Automatic Language: Common and Fen'neko. Favored class: Any Fluff: Present and accounted for. (http://puddleopedia.org/Entry/ThePeople) Ghorak Zo http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/zo.gifhttp://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/zogirl.gif +2 Str, -2 Cha, -2 Int Medium size Ghorak zo base land speed is 30 feet. +2 to intimidate checks -2 to hide, move silently and tumble checks Powerful Build Automatic Language: Common and Ghorak Zo. Favored class: Barbarian Fluff: Present and accounted for. (http://puddleopedia.org/Entry/GhorakZo) Thoom http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/thoom.gifhttp://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/thoomgirl.gif +2 Wis, -2 Str Medium size Thoom base land speed is 30 feet. +2 to heal, swim and concentration checks Thoom have a swim speed of 30 feet. Automatic Language: Common and Thoom. Favored class: Cleric Fluff: Present and accounted for. (http://puddleopedia.org/Entry/Thoom) So, yeah. Advice, fixes, and criticism are all great.
DC45FortSaveVsDeath 04-15-07, 12:56 AM	:bump: Updated a lot of stuff based on criticism received in the thread that I posted in the wrong place like an idiot.
Spikes01k 04-15-07, 01:32 AM	Ghorak Zo are a very week LA +1, Powerful build is not equal to a feat. Although you did come up with a good idea on +1 intimidate.
DC45FortSaveVsDeath 04-15-07, 01:38 AM	Ghorak Zo are a very week LA +1, Powerful build is not equal to a feat. Although you did come up with a good idea on +1 intimidate. What do you suggest to replace powerful build?
Warforged Goblin 04-15-07, 09:51 AM	Ok, let's start. Fen'neko (The People) Favored class: None Sadly, this means that no matter what class they take, they'll have a 30% Xp penalty. I suggest bard, ninja, or rogue as their favored class. Ghorak Zo Ghorak Zo base land speed is 30 feet. However, Ghorak Zo can move at this speed even when wearing medium or heavy armor or carrying a medium or heavy load. My suggestion to balance the powerful build trait would be to drop their base land speed to that of a dwarf's. 20 feet all the time unless in heavy armor. The thoom look great as they are.
DC45FortSaveVsDeath 04-15-07, 03:28 PM	Ok, let's start. Sadly, this means that no matter what class they take, they'll have a 30% Xp penalty. I suggest bard, ninja, or rogue as their favored class. My suggestion to balance the powerful build trait would be to drop their base land speed to that of a dwarf's. 20 feet all the time unless in heavy armor. The thoom look great as they are. Fen are pretty varied in the game. Would it too much to give them "any" as favored class? As for zo, they're something like seven feet tall, it wouldn't make in character sense to drop their land speed to 20. Is there another penalty they could take instead?
IronFistMonkCerberlain 04-15-07, 03:44 PM	Fen are pretty varied in the game. Would it too much to give them "any" as favored class? As for zo, they're something like seven feet tall, it wouldn't make in character sense to drop their land speed to 20. Is there another penalty they could take instead? for fen, go ahead and give them any, its not that much of a bonus, or u could make it so the first class they take is their favorite class for zo, maybe a -2 to dex or wis, or possible a minus (around 2 or 3) on some checks, like hide, move silently, balance, and tumble
DC45FortSaveVsDeath 04-15-07, 03:58 PM	for fen, go ahead and give them any, its not that much of a bonus, or u could make it so the first class they take is their favorite class for zo, maybe a -2 to dex or wis, or possible a minus (around 2 or 3) on some checks, like hide, move silently, balance, and tumble Thanks. Changed some stuff.
Nadaka 04-15-07, 04:08 PM	Your fen Neko are weaker than elves, and elves are not as strong as humans, halflings, or dwarves. YOur Gorak Zo are a very powerful race... They still might need another penalty, but you might be able to get by without one. The Thoom look ok to me, but some wil scoff at a +2 to a mental ability score without an LA.
DC45FortSaveVsDeath 04-15-07, 04:11 PM	Your fen Neko are weaker than elves, and elves are not as strong as humans, halflings, or dwarves. YOur Gorak Zo are a very powerful race... They still might need another penalty, but you might be able to get by without one. The Thoom look ok to me, but some wil scoff at a +2 to a mental ability score without an LA. What do you recommend to buff fen some?
IronFistMonkCerberlain 04-15-07, 04:16 PM	now that I take another look at the zo, they do still seem a little strong maybe up the penalty to cha or int to -4, or drop the bonuses on jump and climb checks (they will already be getting a +1 from the str bonus).
DC45FortSaveVsDeath 04-15-07, 04:19 PM	drop the bonuses on jump and climb checks (they will already be getting a +1 from the str bonus). Done. Thank you.
DC45FortSaveVsDeath 04-16-07, 02:41 AM	:bump: I got bored and added pictures. These were made on Stylunk (http://seankerwin.org/Stylunk/), a very cool program that simulates the looks of different clothing combinations that could be used in Clanlord.
YabaTheWhat 04-16-07, 08:28 AM	Fen'neko (The People) http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/fen.gifhttp://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/fengirl.gif +2 Dex, -2 Con Medium size The people's base land speed is 30 feet. +2 to tumble, jump, move silently and balance checks. Low-light vision Automatic Language: Common and Fen'neko. Favored class: Any Ghorak Zo http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/zo.gifhttp://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/zogirl.gif +2 Str, -2 Cha, -2 Int Medium size Ghorak zo base land speed is 30 feet. +2 to intimidate checks -2 to hide, move silently and tumble checks Powerful Build Automatic Language: Common and Ghorak Zo. Favored class: Barbarian Thoom http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/thoom.gifhttp://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y88/largo991/thoomgirl.gif +2 Wis, -2 Str Medium size Thoom base land speed is 30 feet. +2 to heal, swim and concentration checks Automatic Language: Common and Thoom. Favored class: Cleric Trimming down to the basics for easy viewing. The fen'neko and thoom are both underpowered and relatively uninteresting as far as abilities are concerned. Ghorak Zo should be balanced as is; they'll be good in melee at the cost of being pigeonholed.
Peregrine_Wolf 04-16-07, 04:20 PM	The Fen are basically a mix of halflings and elves. I suggest a racial ability like something that allows them to move through an enemies square or something like that.
DC45FortSaveVsDeath 04-17-07, 04:15 AM	:bump: In an effort to bring thoom and fen up to par, I gave thoom a swim speed, and fen improved initiative.