Post/Author/DateTime	Post
captainswift 04-25-05, 05:02 PM	This amused me as I was writing it, so I thought I'd share. All races with proper PC racial write-ups from the 3.5 core books, 3.5 Psionics Handbook, and the FR Campaign setting are included. (It's what I've done so far. I may or may not post more later, depending how stupid everyone thinks it is). It's an inclusive campaign setting allowing characters from all official WotC D&D settings. You'll get the hang of it as you read, I'm sure. STUDENT BODY (Races) Sigil Preparatory has a highly diverse and expansive student body, with students from a number of different races and planes sharing classes and student life. Still, some races are more prominent than others. A brief breakdown follows: HUMANS Humans make up a solid 50% of the student body, though they come from all number of the material planes. In general, the human populace makes up the majority of the student government, many clubs and sports teams. A good deal of the humans come from Greyhawk, and though they fall into six major ethnic groups (Baklunish, Flan, Oeridians, Olman, Rhenee, and Suloise), they don’t make nearly as big a deal about it as the Faerunians. Faerunian humans get along well with Elves, Dwarves, Halflings. They can even have hobgoblins over for tea, but by golly, they go out of their way to divide themselves into ethnicities. “Oh, I’m half Chondathan, a quarter Tethyrian, and one-quarter Damaran.” At least with Elves, ethnicity can mean the difference between having wings or breathing water. With humans, it’s just ego. (For the record: Calashite, Chondathan, Damaran, Illuskan, Mulan, Rashemi, Tethyrian, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah blah). What few Rokugani humans attend Sigil are still very concerned with their social standing, honor and clan baloney. “Why, I, a mighty Lion Clan samurai, cannot play on the same baseball team as that Mantis Clan scoundrel!” Meanwhile, the humans on Krynn are either the least or greatest offenders, depending on how you look at it. No glaring concern with ethnicity, just whether or not you’re civilized or Nomads. In other words, all that matters on Krynn is whether or not you have a house. Vashar: “So here’s an entire race of humans whose greatest desire is to be not simply evil, but vile. They are to normal humans, so very worse than what Drow are to Elves. I mean, I would never boo at a pep rally!” –Maddie Webber, 3rd year Drow rogue/cleric/cheerleader Lycanthropes (animal’s HD +2 or +3 LA): Okay, kids. For the last time. You can’t catch lycanthropy from a drinking fountain. You can’t get it by casual kissing or using a public toilet or even sharing drinking glasses. Get the facts. Got it? Good. DWARVES Oddly, there are more dwarven teachers than students. Dwarves are strangely aloof, preferring to avoid the more social student events. They do enjoy participating in student government, debate club, and similar, structured events. Most dwarves from Grayhawk are Hill Dwarves. Dwarves from Faerun get all complicated with it. Gold Dwarves, for instance, pride themselves on being from the Great Rift. “Yes, well, in the Great Rift, we do this.” “No, it would never be that way in the Great Rift.” “I like these Krynnian steaks, but they’re nothing like the ones we had back at the Great Rift.” Feh. There’s also the Shield Dwarves, which aren’t that different from Grayhawk Dwarves, or for that matter the Hill Dwarves and Mountain Dwarves from Krynn, and they actually get along well. Humans could learn a lot from Dwarves. Arctic Dwarf (+2 LA): The biggest problem most people have with Arctic Dwarves is their insistence of turning the AC way down. That and the dire polar bears. Duergar (+1 LA): Gray Dwarves are pretty grim. Mostly Lit majors. [This campaign uses the psionic version presented in the XPH]. From Krynn, a slightly related race, the Dark Dwarves, do not possess the variety of psionic powers of Duergar, but they make up for it in sheer moodiness. Sit in the corner of the coffee shop and write poetry about undeath. Gully Dwarf: What, are you kidding? They don’t have a bus short enough to get those guys here. (Okay, I admit it, this one was wrong). Korobokuru: “This isn’t exactly PC, but, see... Regdar, he has this thing for Kara-Turan women. Thinks they looks exotic. So, when this Kara-Turan dwarf moved in to Silverhand Hall, I thought, hey, let’s check her out. Kara-Turan dwarves? Ugh-lee!” –Tordek, offensive lineman Urdunnir (+4 LA): Despite their oddball powers and abilities, Urdunnir don’t favor the adventuring classes, instead having a favored class of “Expert”. Meaning, they usually go to various Underdark Community Colleges. Wild Dwarf: “Lidda started dating a Wild Dwarf, and she never does anything without a reason. I figured, they’re good with poison and blowguns. I don’t sleep anymore.” –Naull, Lidda’s roommate. ELVES Of course, Elves make up the second highest percentage of students at Sigil. They tend to be annoyingly social, and form more clubs and fraternities than any other group. Elves are way ahead of the curve when it comes to trends, and were piercing and streaking when everybody else was still into mohawks. On Greyhawk, they’re High Elves; on Faerun, they’re Moon Elves. They are very sensitive about this. Call a High Elf “Moon Elf”, you are in for a hurting. Call a Moon Elf “High Elf”, it isn’t pretty. It’s safer just to say “Elf”. For that matter, it’s better not to talk to Sun Elves at all. They think they’re better than you. They won’t acknowledge you, unless they think you’ll bring them coffee. If you get a chance, go for it, but don’t delude yourself into believing they’ll call you back. Aquatic Elf (+1 LA): Of course, fully aquatic races have their own swim teams rather than competing with “grounders”. They think we’re funny when we swim. That’s only fair, since they’re so freaking hilarious when they run the hundred meter. Avarial (+3 LA): Although they are quite the fashion mavens, winged elves never quite got into miniskirts. Drow (+2 LA): “Now, some of you are going to take physical sciences, and you’re going to come to think that the universe would work just fine without the gods. Listen up, people, this is where Driders come from!” –Maddie Webber, president, Students for Lolth Kagonesti: Of the Krynnish Elven races, these are the least common at Sigil. They don’t stay in the dorms, they stay in the parks between the dormitory areas. As you walk by, they make fun of you. This is only since campus security took their bows away. Qualinesti: “Can someone explain to me why a Faerunian gnoll, a Greyhawk gnoll, and a Krynnian gnoll are all exactly the same, but every Material has its own five hundred variants of elf? Man, no wonder there’s no orcs on Krynn.” –Krusk, failing his Comparative Cultures test Silvanesti: They consider themselves better than all the other students at Sigil. Sometimes, you just have to remind them that they were kicked out of their ancestral homeland by Minotaurs. Not big, massive Greyhawk minotaurs, oh no. Krynn Minotaurs, which aren’t much bigger than orcs. Guess who still lives in Evermeet, orc-bait? Sea Elf: Well, there’s two kinds of water-breathing elf on Krynn (always have to one up everybody else, those Krynn elves). There’s the Dargonesti, and the Dimernesti. Are they satisfied just breathing water? Of course not, they’re Krynn elves. They turn into freaking otters. Star Elf: Native to a smallish demiplane which borders a smallish portion of Faerun, Star Elves like to play up the whole “stranger in a strange land” crap. Pretend they can’t speak Common, that sort of stuff. Pretty smug for a bunch of guys with light bulbs taped to their heads. Wild Elf: “Like, they don’t call them ‘Wild Elf’ for nothing. Wow.” –Mialee, 5th year elf wizard Wood Elf: Wood Elves are reclusive. By this, I mean, they hole up in their rooms and play with their scrying pools all night. No social life whatsoever. If you’re assigned to a room with a wood elf roommate, try to switch. GNOMES It’s easy to write Rock Gnomes off as geeks, which is fine, because many of them are. They have their own little clubs that are open to anyone but generally attract only other gnomes (and sometimes halflings), and enjoy bizarre forms of entertainment such as sequential art novels. Gnomes from Krynn are slightly different, much more fascinated with building gadgets than talking to burrowing animals. Schedules always have shop classes with Krynn gnomes immediately followed by shop classes with Eberron artificers, to fix the gnome’s projects. (Mad Gnomes are allowed in the Eberron level shop classes. The “sane” gnomes will make fun of them all the same.) Deep Gnomes (+3 LA): Also called “Svirfneblin” by those who can pronounce it. Among the stealthiest beings that ever lived, it is not unknown for a Svirf to get the highest grade on the final without anyone, even the professor, ever realizing he was in the class. Forest Gnome (+1 LA): Most of these guys hang out in the park area, and don’t so much attend classes. Sometimes they like to stand perfectly still in the garden wearing pointy hats, and often take unexpected vacations. HALF-ELVES Born of human and elf interbreeding, half-elves are a clique all their own. While full-blood elves are “too cool for school”, half-elves are often the center of the true popular crowd, though just as often, they are social outcasts. Now, there’s also half-aquatic elves and half-Drow, often packed off to boarding school because they’re insufficiently evil or insufficiently amphibious. The irony is, they tend to be joiners, and end up hanging with the full blood aquatic elves and/or Drow anyway. HALFLINGS Lightfoot Halflings are the ultimate wannabees. They try to get involved in everything, and are completely unaware how annoying everyone else finds them. Ghostwise Halflings, meanwhile, are actually capable of annoying other halflings, which is no mean feat. Oddly, the only halflings that really aren’t terribly invasive are Strongheart Halflings, who generally attend local schools and are virtually absent from Sigil. Jerren: Stronghearts are content to eat on campus. Lightfoots usually go off campus to eat. Jerren go off campus to eat the townies. Kender: It’s generally thought, by new students, that the worse thing about Kender is their tendency to “borrow”. Missing a carton of milk or a pair of socks? That’s not because you have a Kender roommate, it’s just because you have a roommate. That’s what roommates do. The worse thing about kender is that they’re so bleeping happy all the time. It’s not natural. (Afflicted kender make better roommates, though they still steal your pudding cups. It’s all that brings them joy anymore.) ORCS There aren’t that many orcs around, mostly because they lack either the academics or the money to get in. There’s a bunch of orc townies who hang around the campus, though, looking to score with the hot elf chicks. It’s pretty well known that they’ll buy beer for you. (In Faerun, to those in the know, they also tend to be called Mountain Orcs). Also in Faerun, there’s the slightly more powerful and certainly faster Gray Orcs. These are the orcs that give up wrestling for track. And tracking, because they smell like a dog. That is, they have a sense of smell like a dog. And... well, an odor like a dog. Half-Orc: Half-orcs are not a huge percentage of the school population, and it is not unusual for them to be shunned by their human and elven peers. Only a few put together the obvious; for someone like Krusk to get into Sigil, his parents must be loaded. Must be why he’s dating the head cheerleader. Orog (+2 LA): Old habits die hard. On Faerun, Orogs developed powerfully to defend themselves against the more prominent Drow. At Sigil Prep, with the numbers somewhat more equal, they tend to bully the Drow students. “Hey, quit pushing me, you freaking yochlol!” –Maddie Webber, to recently deceased Orog freshman PLANETOUCHED Planetouched are quite common at Sigil Prep, it being on an outer plane, and all that. They would like to remind you that they count as Outsiders. Aasimar (+1 LA): “If there’s anything more arrogant than a paladin, it’s an Aasimar. Merrick, being an Aasimar paladin, he’s just a jackass. Plus, he’s starting forward on the basketball team? Please” –Kailey, tiefling pep squad leader Fey’ri (+2 or +3 LA): Evermeet is the most popular spring break destination for fullblood elves. For Fey’ri, it’s the Bleak Eternity of Gehenna. Genasi (+1 LA): There’s a couple of Air Genasi on the basketball team, an earth genasi on the wrestling team, at least three fire genasi on they volleyball team, and there’s an entire swim relay of water genasi. What do they all have in common? “Ahem, Mialee. Ahem” Tanarukk (5 HD +3 LA): They have the worst traits of orcs, and the power and temperament of demons. For instance, they pick their teeth with their fingernails... FROM HELL! And they only shower once a week... FROM HELL! (Note: Demons are not from Hell. They are from the Abyss. The Tanar’ri Anti-Defamation League would like to protest the lack of accuracy in these matters) Tiefling (+1 LA): “How they let these people in here, I don’t know. Look at that Kailey and her pointy teeth and her little horns and her naval ring and her... tight butt and... that short, short little skirt... ‘Ahem’ Shameful, is what it is.” –Merrick, aasimar starting forward
captainswift 04-25-05, 05:03 PM	OTHER HUMANOIDS Blue (+1 LA): Blues are often poorly integrated into campus life. Too smart to hang with the goblins, too puny to hang with the humans, too tasty to hang with the mind flayers. But someday, when they graduate –with honors– and take over a major dorje consortium in Waterdeep, then they’ll all be sorry. Bugbear (2 HD +1 LA): “There’s a couple of bugbears in the upper grades. For some reason, they’re always in the upper grades. I’ve never met a bugbear freshman. Weird. Anyway, I’m not sure they actually go here. They’re always asking where the beer parties are.” –Regdar, quarterback Githyanki (+2 LA): You know these guys, with their leather jackets and their silver swords, smoking cigarettes under the bleachers and breaking into lockers, then slipping into the Astral Plane before a teacher sees them. Buncha jerks. [This campaign uses the Psionic version from the XPH] Githzerai (+2 LA): “Mr. El’fleh just sat there, meditating, completely unaware of his surroundings, completely in tune only with his own consciousness. For hours on end. That was a great class.” –Ember, 4th year Human Monk [This campaign uses the Psionic version from the XPH] Gnoll (2 HD +1 LA): “Jorhk used to follow me around in that old ‘Dove Falconhand’ tour shirt with the sleeves ripped off. Just laughed his stupid hyena laugh at every joke I made. I miss that guy.” –Krusk, 3rd year Half-orc Barbarian Goblin: “Look to your left. Look to your right. One of those people won’t be here for graduation. If they’re both goblins, neither of them will be.” –standard orientation oratory Hengeyokai (+1 LA): “Lidda found this sparrow flying down the halls of our dorm. She caught it and kept it in a cage. Turns out, it was Sadako, from our Interpretive Dance class. Lidda still won’t let her out.” –Naull, Lidda’s roommate Hobgoblin (+1 LA): There are a fair number of hobgoblins enrolled at Sigil. Many of them are on athletic scholarships. One of them is in Comparative Lawful Good Philosophies, and is studying to be a Paladin of Bahamut. Go figure. Kobold: “You know what sucks? Kobolds are actually good at sorcery. So, like, freshman year, I’m kicking the little buggers around the hallway, then suddenly, we’re in Pre-Alchemy, and they turn my pants into caterpillars. I’m being tutored by a kobold, for Boccob’s sake!” –Hennet, 3rd year Human Sorcerer Lizardfolk (2 HD +1 LA): There are a few lizardkids here and there around Sigil, mostly to meet a quota. Reptilian rights groups are politically strong, persistent, and led by dragons. Maenad: “That Ragnara, wow. Bet she’s a screamer.” –Regdar, sexist pig. “Yes, yes, you are correct, Regdar.” –Mitra, learning about herself while away at school Nezumi: There’s a few of these guys here, but you hardly ever see them. See, over in the West campus, there’s an old dorm building that somehow got the Shadowland taint, and Ratlings are the only guys who can live there. So there they all are. Spirit Folk: Barely a presence here. Spirit Folk have little use for formal education, believing the most valuable lessons are learned from your surroundings. So Sea Spirit Folk stay near the sea, River Spirit Folk stay near the river, Bamboo spirit folk stay near the bamboo. And School Spirit Folk stay near the gymnasium.* Troglodyte (2 HD +2 LA): “Man, you ever been on an elevator with one of these guys? Ugh. Worse than Krusk after Maztican take-out.” –Regdar, 5th year human fighter Vanara: “One time, there were a bunch of these guys in a room together with a bunch of typewriters, and it took a while, but they wrote a pretty good play.” –Naull, theatre lover Xeph: Being nomads by nature, Xephs don’t always attend Sigil start to finish. They transfer in, they transfer out. They’ve been known to transfer right in the middle of class. *The administration would like you to know that this was some student’s idea of humor. There is no such thing as School Spirit folk. Probably.
captainswift 04-25-05, 05:04 PM	ABERRATIONS Elan: Rumor has it that some two hundred or so years ago, a 5th year Psionics Development course turned themselves into evolved beings for extra credit. Ever since, they’ve been sort of a secret society on campus, selecting a dozen or so humans each year for “initiation”. “Do they really exist? Who knows? Well, I do. I’ve got one in third period Biology.” –Mitra, 4th year human psion Mind Flayer (8 HD +7 LA): There aren’t too many mind flayer students here, because they have an annoying tendency to eat their classmate’s brains, an act frowned upon even by Necromancy majors. [Mind Flayers use the psionic variant from the XPH]
captainswift 04-25-05, 05:05 PM	FEY Pixie (+4 or +6 LA): One in ten Pixies flunk out of Otto’s Irresistible Dance Class. It’s weird, really. Satyr (5 HD +2 LA): “I dated this satyr once. He was, like, a junior, I was a freshman. You know what they say about satyrs and their sexual prowess? Disappointing!” –Mialee, 5th year elf wizard.
captainswift 04-25-05, 05:06 PM	GIANTS Half-Giant (+1 LA): “Ofar was the servant of a powerful sorcerer-prince whose Dad sent him here from some far off Material Plane I’d never heard of. The Prince flunked out sophomore year, when it was found out the half-giant was doing his homework for him. Ofar’s on the honor role now, by the way.” –Naull, general busybody Hill Giant (12 HD +4 LA): A couple of years ago, a giant’s rights group forced Sigil to take a handful of giant students each year. Borl’gor failed every class, even Beginner’s Hitting Things with a Big Club. They passed him through anyway, just to get rid of him. Ogre (4 HD +2 LA): “Porl ain’t much of a student, but he’s one hell of an offensive lineman.” –Regdar, quarterback Ogre Mage (5 HD +7 LA): Mr. Onikuma teaches Lawful Evil Philosophies. Two years ago, some erinyes kid kidnaped him, tortured him for seven days, and left him to die. She’s the only person who ever got full credit for that class. Stone Giant (14 HD +4 LA): Garrath, the janitor in the Mordenkainen Building, is a Stone Giant. Rumor has it, he was a student once, but he loved the cavernous halls so much, he decided not to leave. Troll (6 HD +5 LA): “And you can see the ventricle here is fed by the atrium... go ahead, pass it around. But hurry before my chest closes up.” –Mr. Murgawr, troll biology professor
captainswift 04-25-05, 05:08 PM	MONSTROUS HUMANOIDS Centaur (4 HD +2 LA): “This school is not quadruped accessible! It’s a disgrace! Do you know how hard it is for me to take a class on the third floor?” –Danar Chiron III, 1st year centaur ranger Doppelgangers (4 HD +4 LA): Officially, there are about a dozen doppelgangers enrolled. There may be more, who can say? Last semester, one of the girls on the volleyball team was outed, and she left, embarrassed, and hasn’t been seen again. Dromite (+1 LA): Over at the Psionics Hall, these guys are pretty common. Thus, the big roach problem, because we can’t spray there. Gargoyle (4 HD +5 LA): “You’re a student? I thought you were a decoration. Dude, sorry about the spray paint.” –Krusk, 3rd year Half-Orc Barbarian Grimlock (2 HD +2 LA): If you go down to the boiler room to smoke, chances are you’ll find Grimlocks down there, in the caverns that stretch for miles beneath the school. Nobody’s sure if they’re students or not. Minotaur (6 HD +4 LA): “Every semester, I try to get as many classes as possible with Krrf. Other students may have nervous breakdowns trying to get around this campus, but me and Krrf get to class on time, every time.” –Hennet, 3rd year Sorcerer Thri-Kreen (2 HD +2 LA): There’s been some debate in recent years between Sigil and its rival schools about whether Thri-Kreen should be allowed to compete in track and field events. Although they are tentatively allowed to compete, they are exempt from the high jump. [This campaign uses the psionic version as presented in the XPH] Unbodied (4 HD +4 LA): “Like, I don’t care how nice a guy he is, having a floating brain in the desk beside mine makes it so totally hard to concentrate on Metaphysics or whatever. And I’m sorry, but ‘No, I am not going out with you, Mr. Cerebellum-for-brains’, okay?” –Mialee, 5th year elf wizard Yuan-ti Pureblood (4 HD +2 LA): The worst thing about these guys is, they’re not just the sort who try to impose their religious beliefs on you. That would be bad enough, but they want you to worship them.
Loopy 04-25-05, 05:08 PM	Oh my God, this is fabyooo-LUS! Love it. Linking to it on my website.
captainswift 04-25-05, 05:09 PM	OUTSIDERS Azer (2 HD +4 LA): “Like, this one time, there was this guy in Advanced Metallurgy, which was in Room 606Pi, like, before my fifth period Necromancy. Anyway, his head was, like, totally on fire. I was always, like, ‘That is one dwarf who really needs to keep his beard out of the Bunsen burner.’” –Mialee, 5th year Elf Wizard Hound Archon (6 HD +5 LA): You know a school is good when the heavenly hosts are sending their kids here. Mind you, there’s only been a couple of hound archons in the student body in the last thousand years, but they certainly made an impression. Janni (6 HD +5 LA): There was a Janni student a couple of years ago. Kept changing majors. Finally, he dropped out to work for his dad’s second-hand camel business. Rakshasa (7 HD +7 LA): “See, I don’t think Mr. Fasshahd is so much teaching a class in Ethics as he is recruiting assassins. This based on the fact that Lidda tried to murder me last night.” –Naull, Lidda’s roommate
The Almighty Dru 04-25-05, 05:16 PM	I like this. It's a fun little spin on the races. Especially with them being in a college setting and everything. I approve.
gorfnad the shiznit 04-25-05, 05:48 PM	Here's one that might be interesting Kender: Very few Kender attend this college, mainly due to their strong family ties but those who do attend the college try to make themselves the BMOC's or the BGOC's though because of their size this seldom happens. If you have a Kender for a roommate switch right away otherwise you will never see your stuff again.
captainswift 04-25-05, 05:52 PM	Although you may find it replaced with stuff from the other side of campus.
Manyfist 04-25-05, 06:07 PM	What about Half-Ogres? Warforged, Shifters, and Kalashtars? That be funny to see them in a college settin, like this.
captainswift 04-25-05, 06:14 PM	What about Half-Ogres? Warforged, Shifters, and Kalashtars? That be funny to see them in a college settin, like this. Oh, don't worry, I'll get to them. I'm actually designing a full setting for this (yeesh, not even sure if it's playable), and I'm pretty much going through the books chronologically. Eberron is a ways off, yet, but I'll be sure to post them when I get there. (Right now, I'm stuck on Manual of the Planes, trying to decide how, or if, I want to write up certain things. My idea right now is to convert a site on each Outer Plane into a rival school, though I discourage myself when I think about the alternate cosmologies of the other campaign settings.)
scwolf 04-25-05, 06:36 PM	:cheer:
Wildonion 04-25-05, 06:38 PM	HALF-ELVES Born of human and elf interbreeding, half-elves are a clique all their own. While full-blood elves are “too cool for school”, half-elves are often the center of the true popular crowd, though just as often, they are social outcasts. Odd, I love playing Half-elves and I'm considered a social outcast for my love of D&D. This sounds like a campaign for me! :D
JakeQuistis 04-25-05, 07:05 PM	This rocks. It's like D&D High School.
scwolf 04-25-05, 10:17 PM	This rocks. It's like D&D High School. Sort of. Some of it comes across as more like university, and some of it comes across like any typical Boarding School from the UK. Of course, the fact that it's hard to pin down just adds to the charm, I think. One thing I was wondering though: I noticed the name of one of Urban Arcana's Iconics in one of the quotes. Does that mean there's a little d20 Modern thrown in there too?
SdEoXgY 04-25-05, 10:32 PM	By far the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Thanks SdEoXgY
ratt182 04-25-05, 10:42 PM	Just had to say that this made my night. With exams winding down, it gets pretty dull working the front desk of the library. This made it that much easier. This one is for you :pint: Thank you.
captainswift 04-25-05, 10:59 PM	Sort of. Some of it comes across as more like university, and some of it comes across like any typical Boarding School from the UK. Of course, the fact that it's hard to pin down just adds to the charm, I think. One thing I was wondering though: I noticed the name of one of Urban Arcana's Iconics in one of the quotes. Does that mean there's a little d20 Modern thrown in there too? I used Kylie the Tiefling and Maddie Webber the Drow from Urban Arcana in my write-ups because the images of those characters sort of fit the images I had for their respective races. I'm not directly using d20 Modern specific rules in planning this, but I'm not above stealing here and there when it fits.
captainswift 04-25-05, 11:08 PM	Except that the tiefling's name is "Kailey". Woops.
Reinforcements 04-25-05, 11:40 PM	Very good writing. I'd like to play in this campaign setting; I like the tongue-in-cheekiness. And now, Eberron races, because I love them! Kalashtar: "The kalashtar? Yeah, they're real nice and everything, but it's just a little unnerving to have an upperclassman give you directions before you ask for them. It's probably a good idea to just avoid the psionics wing altogether." - Paar, freshman wizard Changelings: Ever since the university began accepting students from Eberron, it's become policy to count any changeling as two students, as they will certainly have at least one alter-ego. Shifters: "I once picked a fight with this shy, scrawny kid. That's why I look like this." - Krusk, slightly disfigured half-orc Warforged: Professor Clank is an excellent physical instructor, although after a number of students collapsed and were sent to the healing wing the faculty sat him down and had a long talk about the concept of "fatigue." Inspired: "No inspired are currently enrolled and Sigil Preparatory... that YOU know of! Mwa ha ha ha ha!" - Kar'tesh, "human" psion, shortly before disappearing
Manyfist 04-25-05, 11:50 PM	You forgot, Aquatic Elves, and Gray Elves, :D I love to see the Rival teams, Water Gensai v. Aquatic Elves. High Gnome Intellect v. High Gray Elven Intellect. Aquatic Elves: "Man, can they show you a thing or two Underwater but once on land dead as a door nail."- Redgar, after getting around town. :D Gray Elves: "Usally Elves are the pretty boys on campus, but then there's the Gray Elves your clamy nerdy type of elf they mostly sit around playing a game called, Dungeons and Dragons. Gray Elves' most noticeable ablity are mostly displayed in the Chess club, where its Jam pack of the nerds all trying to out move another, and with egos alone that can fill the school. Its bad enough to lose to one, but to win against one, watch out for Geek revenge!" Krusk
Manyfist 04-25-05, 11:53 PM	Changelings: Ever since the university began accepting students from Eberron, it's become policy to count any changeling as two students, as they will certainly have at least one alter-ego. Shifters: "I once picked a fight with this shy, scrawny kid. That's why I look like this." - Krusk, slightly disfigured half-orc Warforged: Professor Clank is an excellent physical instructor, although after a number of students collapsed and were sent to the healing wing the faculty sat him down and had a long talk about the concept of "fatigue." Inspired: "No inspired are currently enrolled and Sigil Preparatory... that YOU know of! Mwa ha ha ha ha!" - Kar'tesh, "human" psion, shortly before disappearing Very humorious I would say. The Warforged one really cracks me up.
okaynowa 04-26-05, 07:25 AM	The title of this thread does not do justice to the contents. By the by, it's obvious that this Mialee is, in fact, a Valley Elf (from the Valley of the Mage, in Greyhawk).
Jshock_75 04-26-05, 09:21 AM	Okay, gotta know: what's the team mascot? What sports does Sigil U. excel at? Where do they get the money for the beer? I'm diggin' this. "Teenagers from outer planes". :w00t:
Manyfist 04-26-05, 11:42 AM	Okay, gotta know: what's the team mascot? What sports does Sigil U. excel at? Where do they get the money for the beer? I'm diggin' this. "Teenagers from outer planes". :w00t: Team mascot could be.... Black Mage for FFIX. Sports, well they could excel in all sports, maybe Wizard Duels are the there best sport.
CzarGarrett 04-26-05, 12:23 PM	This is one of the greatest ideas I've ever heard read.
Neodymium 04-26-05, 01:20 PM	Genasi (+1 LA): There’s a couple of Air Genasi on the basketball team, an earth genasi on the wrestling team, at least three fire genasi on they volleyball team, and there’s an entire swim relay of water genasi. What do they all have in common? “Ahem, Mialee. Ahem” BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA HAHAHAAAHHAHAA That's freaking beautiful. What a great touch. Seriously, this is a fabulous idea. I really would love to play in this campaign. Also, get this to japan as soon as possible so they can make an anime or manga out of it. It would be perfect. I get that vague "Is this a high school or college? or a little bit of both?" notion floating in the back of my head when i read this stuff, kinda like when watching some anime.
captainswift 04-26-05, 04:52 PM	First two posts edited to include races from Oriental Adventures. Reinforcements, old chum, I think I may just steal your Eberron write-ups verbatum when I get to that point. For anyone else who wants to play, here's some ground rules to keep it "official": Sigil Prep is a 5 year school (Freshman, Sophomore, Midyear, Junior, Senior). The "High School/College" thing is intentionally vague. It's an Academy for Higher Learning. Graduates can go on to the Union Academy for Epic Level Learning. The Lady of Pain is the Dean of Schools, but no one is allowed to see her. Or talk to her. Or mention her. Although I've mentioned mostly American sports (as far as that goes), the school is unbelievably large, and they play nearly everything. They're best known for (American) football and track. Chief rival is Manifest Acadamy, on the unnamed plane of the Ghostwalk Campaign. The mascot had not occured to me; I'll work on it. By the way, I've posted a parallel post on the Classes board, which so far, had garnered no responses.
Manyfist 04-26-05, 05:26 PM	I wonder if any one as played FFX, the Sport Blitz Ball could be a sport. I would like to see Blitz Ball in D&D.
scwolf 04-26-05, 05:40 PM	First two posts edited to include races from Oriental Adventures. Gah! Talk about hard to find, it just blends right in. I know you've got a set organizational structure for your first few posts, but as this thing grows, it's going to get hard to pick out the new material.
captainswift 04-26-05, 05:43 PM	Gah! Talk about hard to find, it just blends right in. I know you've got a set organizational structure for your first few posts, but as this thing grows, it's going to get hard to pick out the new material. Yeah, I know. I'm cut-and-pasting from my Wordperfect document, and unfortunately the translation erases all my indents and boldface, and it's a bear to put them back in. Next update, I'll make a little more effort.
Zemyla 04-26-05, 05:52 PM	And I'm just wondering where the goliaths (Races of Stone), raptorans (Races of the Wild), and Illumians (Races of Destiny) would fit in.
Manyfist 04-26-05, 05:59 PM	Maybe add a Few Player Created races, Like my Dhampirs. Lol.
TheDarkestOfAngels 04-26-05, 06:04 PM	I have to say that this looks like a very unique and strange (in a very good way) campaign. Thumbs, claws, eyestalks, fins, or tentacles up! Goliaths sound like a good "jock" crowd, given how much of a prediection toward athleticism they have in the flavor text of the book. That is, they probably make up the bulk of the football team and are the ones that get to date all the hot cheerleaders. I don't know about the other two, except that maybe the illumain are like the cless and/or reading club. perhaps a large number of the staff or teachers are illumains? I don't know. It's up to captainswift, but that's my input.
scwolf 04-26-05, 06:56 PM	And I'm just wondering where the goliaths (Races of Stone), raptorans (Races of the Wild), and Illumians (Races of Destiny) would fit in. Illumians? They're the ones who always end up in detention for having notes and cheatsheets during the tests. After all, having glowing runes floating around your head all the time makes it easy to slip in a few runes worth of notes, but the fact that they're glowing and floating around your head makes it way easy to get caught at it.
captainswift 04-27-05, 11:29 PM	The Planeswalkers!!!! It's the Sigil Planeswalkers vs. the Manifest Ethereals, the biggest game of the year. Sigil is the traditional favorite, winning roughly 75% of the time in football, although Manifest is better at soccer and jai alai.
Joni-san 04-30-05, 07:49 PM	:bump: Bump for great Justice! How can we let this thread fall? This setting concept is one of the best I've seen :king:. Can you link to other threads centered around Sigil Prep?
captainswift 05-01-05, 01:52 AM	The only other thread so far: Classes of... (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=419361) At the moment, the Class write-ups are similar to the Races write-ups, but I'm in the process of redoing the classes in a slightly different format so they resemble a course catalog. I'll probably repost the first few as they're ready. Other stuff I've done is real choppy and not worth posting until it's smoother. I'm considering doing a web site.
ratt182 05-01-05, 12:05 PM	I think thats a great idea! I'm all for it :cheer:
captainswift 05-01-05, 09:46 PM	Updates for Book of Vile Darkness, Savage Species, Races of Faerun, included here rather than incorporated in the earlier posts for easier reading: Vashar: “So here’s an entire race of humans whose greatest desire is to be not simply evil, but vile. They are to normal humans, so very worse than what Drow are to Elves. I mean, I would never boo at a pep rally!” –Maddie Webber, 3rd year Drow rogue/cleric/cheerleader Arctic Dwarf (+2 LA): The biggest problem most people have with Arctic Dwarves is their insistence of turning the AC way down. That and the dire polar bears. Urdunnir (+4 LA): Despite their oddball powers and abilities, Urdunnir don’t favor the adventuring classes, instead having a favored class of “Expert”. Meaning, they usually go to various Underdark Community Colleges. Wild Dwarf: “Lidda started dating a Wild Dwarf, and she never does anything without a reason. I figured, they’re good with poison and blowguns. I don’t sleep anymore.” –Naull, Lidda’s roommate. Aquatic Elf (+1 LA): Of course, fully aquatic races have their own swim teams rather than competing with “grounders”. They think we’re funny when we swim. That’s only fair, since they’re so freaking hilarious when they run the hundred meter. Avarial (+3 LA): Although they are quite the fashion mavens, winged elves never quite got into miniskirts. Forest Gnome (+1 LA): Most of these guys hang out in the park area, and don’t so much attend classes. Sometimes they like to stand perfectly still in the garden wearing pointy hats, and often take unexpected vacations. Now, there’s also half-aquatic elves and half-Drow, often packed off to boarding school because they’re insufficiently evil or insufficiently amphibious. The irony is, they tend to be joiners, and end up hanging with the full blood aquatic elves and/or Drow anyway. Jerren: Stronghearts are content to eat on campus. Lightfoots usually go off campus to eat. Jerren go off campus to eat the townies. Also in Faerun, there’s the slightly more powerful and certainly faster Gray Orcs. These are the orcs that give up wrestling for track. And tracking, because they smell like a dog. That is, they have a sense of smell like a dog. And... well, an odor like a dog. Orog (+2 LA): Old habits die hard. On Faerun, Orogs developed powerfully to defend themselves against the more prominent Drow. At Sigil Prep, with the numbers somewhat more equal, they tend to bully the Drow students. “Hey, quit pushing me, you freaking yochlol!” –Maddie Webber, to recently deceased Orog freshman Fey’ri (+2 or +3 LA): Evermeet is the most popular spring break destination for fullblood elves. For Fey’ri, it’s the Bleak Eternity of Gehenna. Tanarukk (5 HD +3 LA): They have the worst traits of orcs, and the power and temperament of demons. For instance, they pick their teeth with their fingernails... FROM HELL! And they only shower once a week... FROM HELL! (Note: Demons are not from Hell. They are from the Abyss. The Tanar’ri Anti-Defamation League would like to protest the lack of accuracy in these matters) Half-Ogre: “I’ve got nothing against half-ogres. I’m as open-minded as anybody. It’s just the act that leads to them. Whoa.” –Regdar, 5th year human fighter Yuan-ti Tainted One (+2 LA): Because of the methods used to turn humans into Tainted Ones, there was a policy of expelling them for drug abuse, but the Yuan-ti successfully pleaded that the policy was suppressing their cultural practices. Aarakocra (+2 LA): “Krusk, stop! For aarakocra, ‘bird-brain’ is a compliment!” –Regdar, 5th year human fighter. Dekanter Goblin (2 HD +4 LA): There has been only one dekanter goblin student in the history of Sigil Prep. It was the year Manifest Academy had their best football team ever. We needed one powerful defensive player, and we offered this guy a full, unconditional scholarship. That son of Umberlee took it, and didn’t even join the team! Psychology major. We lost, by the way. Kir-lanan (4 HD +4 LA): The rumor is, they have no souls, and therefor can’t become clerics, or use any sort of divine magic. One chief reason, I guess, why Prohg sits forlornly in his Comparative Mythologies class and sighs. Wemic (5 HD +3 LA): “Yeah, I get that it’s a cultural thing that the women do the hunting, but you can get your own chips, dude.” –Mitra, 3rd year human psion Shade (+4 LA): The City of Shade on Faerun is home to one of our chief rival schools, Shadovar Conservatory. Most of their students trade portions of their souls for the stuff of shadow. Whether or not this has anything to do with their region championship basketball team is uncertain.
Princeoflowlight 05-01-05, 10:43 PM	:bump: This rocks.
TheDarkestOfAngels 05-02-05, 12:18 AM	This rocks. that's what I was thinking. Honestly, Captainswift, this is one of the best and most original ideas for a campaign I've heard of in a long, long time. Have the following, my kudos, a :cookie: and a :thumbsup:
Gilganarz_the_reporter 05-02-05, 05:25 AM	Dude, you are a ledgend, you know that? Have you ever thought of a yahoo group for this?
Joni-san 05-02-05, 11:56 AM	I think you might find This Picture (http://www.jessdoor.com/galleries/art/drow_schoolgirl.jpg) quite funny :P. It was made by Yami (Check out her Art Thread (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=268516)) Isn't she cute? :cloud9: http://www.jessdoor.com/galleries/art/drow_schoolgirl.jpg
malykoth 05-02-05, 12:38 PM	What about gully dwarves? Would they be in the special education program?
Rim-Soulfang 05-02-05, 03:17 PM	This kicks spotted owl.
Dire_DJ_Weasel 05-02-05, 04:05 PM	dude! this is the greatest idea I've heard in a long time...you even broke me out of lurker status just to post! But maybe instead of the Planeswalkers...flashback to the old days... The Mimirs! I gotta hear more about this setting..I'm gettin ideas already. :)
Lord Zeb 05-02-05, 09:11 PM	:cool: More!! :cookie:
Deekin 05-02-05, 09:30 PM	I :clap: your work here, but I have just one question? How about the Bariaur, Bladeling, Chaond, Khaasta, Modron Outcast, Nathri, Shad, Tuladhara, and Zenythri? They are all Planeswalker Races (http://www.planewalker.com/products/files/chapter2.pdf) and this is Supossed to be Sigil Prep, right? :bigeyes:
KhanJackalMoreau 05-03-05, 03:11 PM	Credit where credit is due. This is hilarious.
captainswift 05-03-05, 04:50 PM	I :clap: your work here, but I have just one question? How about the Bariaur, Bladeling, Chaond, Khaasta, Modron Outcast, Nathri, Shad, Tuladhara, and Zenythri? They are all Planeswalker Races (http://www.planewalker.com/products/files/chapter2.pdf) and this is Supossed to be Sigil Prep, right? :bigeyes: You certainly have a point. Been concentrating on races that physically appear in published books, but eventually I'll need to tackle the Planescape races.
RogerWilco 05-03-05, 06:21 PM	Yeah, I know. I'm cut-and-pasting from my Wordperfect document, and unfortunately the translation erases all my indents and boldface, and it's a bear to put them back in. Next update, I'll make a little more effort. Awesome! Like the classes thing too. :D You know you can record a macro that will just replace all the WP codes with vBulletin codes. Something like this: Application (WordPerfect; "WordPerfect"; Default!; "NL") SearchString (StrgToLookFor: "<Bold on>") ReplaceString (RplcStrg: "{b}") ReplaceForward (SearchMode: Regular!) SearchString (StrgToLookFor: "<Bold off>") ReplaceString (RplcStrg: "{/b}") ReplaceForward (SearchMode: Regular!) SearchString (StrgToLookFor: "<Left tab>") ReplaceString (RplcStrg: "[indent]") ReplaceForward (SearchMode: Regular!) Please note the {} should be [], but those don't display properly. Please note the words between <> would need to be preplaced with the actual codes, that might have slighly different names, as my Wordperfect 2000 is Dutch. To generate this, use "macro"->"record macro" in the "extra" (probably 'tools' in english) then do 3 search-and-replace actions. To enter the <Bold on> codes either use the macro editor and choose the appropriate code(use Alt-F3/Reveal codes to find the right ones) or enter them in the search-and-replace directly probably "match"->"codes" in english. I can tell you how to do this in WP12 too, but then I need to get to my other computer...
captainswift 05-03-05, 06:33 PM	Oh, and in case it hasn't been implied, thanks for the kind words and responses. I flush with pride. :D (rare instance of my using a smilie)
Mr_GrinReaper 05-03-05, 06:58 PM	OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is awsome!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D This is soooooooooo COOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :dancin: :dancin: :dancin: :dancin: :dancin:
Jandor1 05-03-05, 07:17 PM	:invasion: thank you for this. oh, and :bump:
Jandor1 05-03-05, 07:24 PM	this just occured to me: "Oh yeah, the paladins. Most people think they're stuffy or self righteous, but let me tell you, that cure disease thing they can do really comes in handy..." Mailee, 5th year elven wizard.
captainswift 05-03-05, 10:18 PM	The first post (standard races) is updated to include Dragonlance races and a few random tidbits, because some of the new material blends into the older material. Other updates: Catfolk (+1 LA): “No. Lidda. You can’t keep him.” –Naull, Lidda’s roommate Irda (+2 LA): “Amberyl’s an ogre? How can somebody that good-looking belong to the same race as those ugly morons..?” –Regdar, learning a valuable lesson on what not to say in a locker room full of ogres Minotaur, Krynnian: Minotaurs from Krynn are not the hulking brutes found on other Materials. Sigil is usually a humbling experience for them. On Krynn, they pride themselves on their superior strength. At Sigil, they usually get assigned to the same wrestling team as their much larger kin. DRAGONS Baaz Draconian (2 HD +1 LA): The original party dragons, you don’t want a dorm near these guys. All night, every night. Sometimes they kidnap bards and force them to play at top volume until security comes. Then they blame it all on the bards. Kapak Draconian (2 HD +2 LA): “Okay, they have poison tongues. Do not use a fork or spoon after a kapak has used it. Save it for practical joke fodder.” –Maddie Webber, 3rd year drow rogue/cleric of Lolth/not terribly nice girl Taer (2 HD +1 LA): They’re primitive and naked, but Taer are quite the adept storytellers. They would be exceptional in Creative Writing, except for the whole not-being-able-to-write thing. Hagspawn (+2 LA): There are actually a surprising number of hagspawns here. I mean, you’ve got a successful career luring children to your gingerbread house or tricking great heroes into doing your bidding, you only really have time to deal with the kids that can follow in your footsteps. You either sell the boys into slavery, or pack ‘em off to school. PLANTS Volodni (+2 LA): “Yeah, I had a Volodni roommate once. The best part was, if I was late for class, I could just transport via plants through her. Not sure why she moved.” –Vadania, 4th year druid and Mialee’s slightly dumber half-sister Yuan-ti Tainted One (+2 LA): Because of the methods used to turn humans into Tainted Ones, there was a policy of expelling them for drug abuse, but the Yuan-ti successfully pleaded that the policy was suppressing their cultural practices.
Nitneuq Onitnarat 05-04-05, 06:37 PM	I'd like to give you yet another well deserved thank you for this great thread. add my :cookie: to the pile. "Oh yeah, the paladins. Most people think they're stuffy or self righteous, but let me tell you, that cure disease thing they can do really comes in handy..." Mailee, 5th year elven wizard.haha, good one.
captainswift 05-04-05, 08:42 PM	Yami's art rocks, by the way. If you haven't already, check the link in Joni-san's post, above. It's got a great quality for the mood of this setting, even. Perhaps she should be called upon to do the yearbook pictures for Mialee, Nuall, and the gang... hmmmm....
Princeoflowlight 05-05-05, 11:10 PM	Bada-bump.
captainswift 05-06-05, 11:06 PM	this just occured to me: "Oh yeah, the paladins. Most people think they're stuffy or self righteous, but let me tell you, that cure disease thing they can do really comes in handy..." Mailee, 5th year elven wizard. Stole this, and included it in the expanded class write-ups, over to the classes board.
thinkhard 05-06-05, 11:33 PM	I know i'm opening a can of worms, but ever consider doing write ups for some of the homebrew races that you like?
Rakasha#5 05-07-05, 09:19 AM	(chanting) Kudos Kudos Kudos Kudos Kudos Kudos Kudos Kudos Kudos Kudos !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gilganarz_the_reporter 05-07-05, 06:58 PM	How 'bout the Frostburn races. neanderthals: "Sigil prep recieved its first neanderthal students last year. Things have been pretty well with them, except for that incedent in advanced chemistry where they tried to set up a religion around the bunsen burner"- Mordenkainen, advanced magic theory professor uldra: Sigil has never had many uldra students. It was never so much the "clothes must be worn" rule as the "no hats inside class" rule. ;)
Desert Mage 05-08-05, 02:05 AM	I'm loving this. I swear, I have a 'Kylie' and a 'Mialee' in third period. Soooo true. And from what I hear, 'Mialee' probably is a common thread between most of our athletic dept. students. *shivers*
captainswift 05-08-05, 11:38 AM	neanderthals: "Sigil prep recieved its first neanderthal students last year. Things have been pretty well with them, except for that incedent in advanced chemistry where they tried to set up a religion around the bunsen burner"- Mordenkainen, advanced magic theory professor Yeah, I'll be stealing that, too.
The nameles one 05-08-05, 12:08 PM	Wow! Nice thread. All this need's is compiling into a singel post and stickying it here. Keep up the good work!
theOne333 05-08-05, 07:09 PM	:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: AWESOME. I love this. It's hilarious! I second (or third or whatever) the idea that you start a Yahoo group or something similar. Here's a few: Half-dragon: "You think it's hard meeting your girlfriend's father? Try impressing a freaking dragon!" - Regdar Ibixian: "Let's just say this: Attach your jar labels with magic." - Merlos, 4th year half-elf wizard
theOne333 05-09-05, 04:54 PM	:bump: bump
Insane Pixie 05-09-05, 05:26 PM	Vampires: "It's not that the Vampires are bad people, but I bumped into one in the hallway and forgot how to cast Web." -Mialee (Sorry if Vamps have already been done. See spoiler below if you don't get the joke.) Energy Drain! Have you even read your Monster Manual? :P
-Defiler of Souls- 05-10-05, 11:28 PM	you are my god
captainswift 05-11-05, 10:56 PM	And now, Underdark, and a friend from the BoED: Gloaming (+2 LA): Gloamings glow in the dark. This can be a problem if you’re a light sleeper. If you are assigned a gloaming roommate, it might be a good idea to invest in a sleep mask. Alternately, keep the air cranked up, so they have to use multiple blankets. Deep Imaskari: Heirs to Faerun’s lost empire of Imaskar, the deep Imaskari are rare on Sigil. However, those that are here have uncovered sub-basements that had been lost to antiquity. The Otiluke Building has heat for the first time in five centuries. Slyth (+2 LA): “You gotta know where the Slyth hang out. They turn into puddles to relax, and you don’t want to wind up mopping up students. Again.” –Garrath, janitor Chitine (2 HD +2 LA): “Every year, when Students for Lolth has our membership drive, these guys show up in droves. Officially, we’re open to all students, but we turn every chitine down, and laugh about it. It’s how Lolth would want it.” –Maddie Webber, president, Students for Lolth Kuo-Toa (2 HD +3 LA): “There are those races that love their gods. Drow, yuan-ti. But Kuo-toans, they’re the worst. Because you can’t hear Blibdoolpoolp without laughing. And you can’t laugh at Blibdoolpoolp without eating a lightning bolt.” –Regdar, 5th year human fighter Bariaur (3 HD +2 LA, or +1 LA): There seems to be two kinds of Bariaur. There’s Exalted Bariaurs, and Planar Bariaurs. I don’t think you can tell the difference just looking at them. It’s probably rude to ask, so don’t worry about it.
Manyfist 05-11-05, 11:00 PM	Kuo-Toa (2 HD +3 LA): “There are those races that love their gods. Drow, yuan-ti. But Kuo-toans, they’re the worst. Because you can’t hear Blibdoolpoolp without laughing. And you can’t laugh at Blibdoolpoolp without eating a lightning bolt.” –Regdar, 5th year human fighter That's Hilarious... Blibdoolpoolp... is that a real name or is it made up since I don't like much of FR to get Underdark. :D
CzarGarrett 05-12-05, 08:34 AM	That's Hilarious... Blibdoolpoolp... is that a real name or is it made up since I don't like much of FR to get Underdark. :D Its a real name. Its been the name of the Kuo-Toa Goddess since 1st E I believe.
Magdrion 05-13-05, 12:36 PM	Love this thread, great job captainswift :w00t: Mummies: “If you have a course in Ancient Civilizations, you definitely want a class with Professor Ank’Nahaset. He really knows a lot…because, you know, he was there when it happened.” -Mialee
Joni-san 05-13-05, 03:16 PM	I just thought of a thing... Have you considered posting this over at the Planescape (http://boards1.wizards.com/forumdisplay.php?f=292) section of these boards? :cool: I bet they would like the idea :king:. Maybe Planewalker.com (http://www.planewalker.com/) would host your setting if they take a fancy to it :dancin:
captainswift 05-13-05, 06:57 PM	Dragonkin (7 HD +3 LA): “I really want to know who makes the racial divisions. Because Draconians get classified as ‘Dragon’, but I get shoved in with the Monstrous Humanoids. It’s because they’re from Krynn, isn’t it? This place shows some blatant favoritism.” –Forrgh, freshman dragonkin barbarian
theOne333 05-15-05, 06:01 PM	:bump:
captainswift 05-15-05, 10:12 PM	And now, the "official" versions of the Eberron races. A couple are pretty much directly stolen from Reinforcements; thanks for Klank, my friend. You have officially given me my football coach. The quotes are Krusk heavy this time, but... Changeling: "That was awesome, Paik. Now, uh, next time, can you look like Professor Falconhand?" --Regdar, dumped again Kalashtar: "I'm tellin' ya, that Morgrave University team, they're hard to beat. Kalashtar quarterback; they don't even huddle, man! The whole team's mindlinked!" --Krusk, half-orc offensive lineman Shifter: "I once picked a fight with this shy, scrawny kid. That's why I look like this." --Krusk, slightly disfigured half-orc barbarian Warforged: "Coach Klank is an awesome trainer, although a bunch of the B team collapsed and were sent to the Infirmary. We had to have a little talk to him about 'fatigue'." --Krusk, half-orc offensive lineman Inspired Empty Vessel (+1): They are born and raised to serve as the hosts for the powerful Quori. They are specially trained and educated, and are naturally exquisite diplomats. They're great to have on Debate Team, but their fraternity is pretty elite.
TaiShingPekWar 05-16-05, 11:26 AM	You are my new god besides the bunson burner, I have two of you sig worthy quotes on my sig... where else? edit: :bump:
Gilganarz_the_reporter 05-18-05, 03:56 AM	Wish to help with the MM3 races, one to get started: Flind:" yeah sure Xartatac, you may impress the gnolls with it, but no matter what you say, the flindbar is just a wierd nunchu<thump>"- Redgar, finding out that 2d4 damage makes a difference
captainswift 05-18-05, 11:10 AM	Take it away, Gilganarz. I'm taking some time away from Races to build up more of the setting (campus directory and like that). Look forward to seeing what you might come up with.
TaiShingPekWar 05-18-05, 11:28 AM	Nymph: Nymphs are regarded as the most beatiful creatures in the cosmos, at Sigil Prep they are reduced to half of the cheerleading team. "Once I said that I was a noble paladin to get a Nymph to date me, she still hansn't figured it out. Holy Olidimmarra my eyes why can't I see?" Kerwyn the other iconic rogue "Blinding beauty you idiot." Sunflower head cheerleader/Nymph/Nympho
captainswift 05-18-05, 09:43 PM	I forgot about Kerwyn! Yagghh! Thank you for the reminder. (By the way, I did not forget Eberk; I just haven't had a use for him yet. He strikes me more as a professor than a student, anyway. I have worked very hard not to use Nebin.)
TaiShingPekWar 05-19-05, 11:44 AM	Wait before you only focus on the other aspects of your site, finish some template descriptions; Half-celistial, half-fiend, fiendish, celestial, winged, ect. I got one for half-celestial "Goody two shoes, 'nuff said" almost everyone says that (Yeah, Instead of looking at the caption of my PH I searched other iconic rogue on google... half an hour later I found out he had a minature.)
Gilganarz_the_reporter 05-24-05, 03:09 AM	This thread shall never die while I still live! kenku: "sometimes we stick up a straw doll outside Shoji's classrooms to spook him out. The reaction is worth the stabs to the kidney"- Krusk, 1 day out of intensive care.
Norhg 05-26-05, 04:58 PM	I'm getting reminded of this (http://www.hscmcomics.com).
theOne333 05-26-05, 05:08 PM	So Cap'n, did you ever make that Yahoo group? If you haven't, you should. This is so totally worth it.
Deekin 05-29-05, 02:39 PM	Website!!! Sigil Prep (http://www.sigilprep.com)
captainswift 05-29-05, 05:49 PM	Website!!! Sigil Prep (http://www.sigilprep.com) Which needs artwork, and if anybody is decent at mapmaking... But besides that, the One333, what would you be looking for in a Yahoo! group exactly? Design brainstorming or on-line in character play, or which?
Mr. Cheese 05-29-05, 08:09 PM	You should make this an online play-by-post once you're done. With more people, it'll be more like a school. But anyway, I'm ok at maps, send me some basic ideas and I'll be happy to help. EDIT: I just noticed something disturbing on your website. In the races section, you say that Krusk the Half-Orc is dating the head cheerleader. But in the orginazations section(this is the disturbing part) you have Maddie Webber proudly saying that SHE is the head cheerleader. Put 2 and 2 together, and change something please.
Joni-san 05-30-05, 11:21 AM	Website!!! Sigil Prep (http://www.sigilprep.com) Sweet! Which needs artwork, and if anybody is decent at mapmaking... But besides that, the One333, what would you be looking for in a Yahoo! group exactly? Design brainstorming or on-line in character play, or which? Hmmm... I wonder if anyone here has Dunjinni or whatever it was called :thinks: Maybe the Digital D&D folks might have it :help:
captainswift 05-30-05, 07:48 PM	I just noticed something disturbing on your website. In the races section, you say that Krusk the Half-Orc is dating the head cheerleader. But in the orginazations section(this is the disturbing part) you have Maddie Webber proudly saying that SHE is the head cheerleader. Put 2 and 2 together, and change something please. Clearly she's just using him. He's a star on an all-star football team. His father sends him a good deal of money every week. Plus, his mother --apparantly a Frenzied Berserker lunchlady-- let's him cut line and get the best slices on meatloaf day. Maddie loves a good meatloaf.
Mr. Cheese 05-30-05, 09:10 PM	true, but at first glance it's quite odd. But if you have a basic layout, i'dd be glad to do maps
Manyfist 05-30-05, 10:12 PM	Well I decided to write some suff about homebrewed races. Dhampir [Manyfist's] Its a common myth that thiers a Hybrid race between Vampires and Humans. Well the myth was put to rest as Sigil had their first Dhampir student not too long ago. " Man, trying to impress an Half-Dragon's Father is nothing compared to Impress an Dhampir's Parents! I mean, I love Vampires, Hurray!" Redgar, Sr. Fighter, who unfortunately been dominated by Head Vampire, Bob the Destroyer. :D " What can I say? I see Dead people? That's so Cliché... How about I see Living people." Vlur Chath, Top Dhampir, Midyear (Psiwar 7/ Child of the DarkSeed 4) " I am going to suck your blood!" Krusk joking about Vlur's Heritage right before 'Waking' up stuck on top of the School's flag post hanging by his Underwear
captainswift 05-30-05, 11:01 PM	true, but at first glance it's quite odd. But if you have a basic layout, i'dd be glad to do maps There doesn't have to be a lot of logic to it. I said, somewhere, that the campus looks like it was designed by Slaadi and built by entirely other Slaadi. It's a maze. There are ten sub-campuses: The Gold campus (Arcane classroom buildings), Silver campus (warrior/rogue/other non-caster class buildings, plus athletics buildings), Bronze campus (Psionic buildings, plus the admin building), Brass (Divine classrooms), Copper building (Warlock/Artificer/other unusual magic classes, plus performing arts); Red (senior dorms plus cafeteria), Blue (junior dorms, lounges, and stables), Green (midyear dorms, druid groves and parks), Black campus (sophomore dorms), and White Campus (freshman dorms). If you go under "Campus Directory" on the website, some buildings are named, though this section is far from complete. If you just put a lot of buildings on each campus, we can name them as we need to.
Deekin 05-31-05, 12:44 AM	There is a compleate map of sigil HERE (http://www.shadowland.org/Planescape/maps.html), so you can get idea of what Sigil maps look like. Feel free to insert Sigil Prep anywere, becpuse the city can change size.
Mike W 05-31-05, 02:58 AM	I'd just like to add a bit of praise to the pile :) This is a great, great, great setting, and unfailingly hilarious. I'm a college student right now, and I've been reading the site and laughing out loud for about half an hour now, while simultaneously scheming on how to make a campaign based in it. Pure genius, and I appreciate you sharing it with us. :cookie: :gift:
theOne333 05-31-05, 11:38 AM	I have a question: When you talk about the year (3rd year wizard, etc.) what does that actually signify? Class level, character level, the highest spell level they can cast, or something else entirely and not directly related to stats? BTW: Great job on the website. But...Raistlin teaches there?! You [I]gotta get some quotes from him. GO RAISTLIN!
Jandor1 05-31-05, 03:35 PM	to quote Peter Griffon: YOU... ARE... GOD... w00t.
captainswift 05-31-05, 05:42 PM	I have a question: When you talk about the year (3rd year wizard, etc.) what does that actually signify? Class level, character level, [in the case of spellcasters] the highest spell level they can cast, or something else entirely and not directly related to stats? That last thing. It's just the amount of years the student has been attending, with no regards to stats. My basic idea is that each year a student is there, he should gain three levels (assuming he stays on the program). So a first year student should gain three levels to pass, and a fifth year student should have between 13 and 15. (Yes, that's ridiculously high level for a student, but it's a conceit of the setting. It's also why all the teachers are epic). This is all conjecture until I actually start playing and see how quickly or slowly PC's advance.
captainswift 05-31-05, 05:45 PM	There is a compleate map of sigil HERE (http://www.shadowland.org/Planescape/maps.html), so you can get idea of what Sigil maps look like. Feel free to insert Sigil Prep anywere, becpuse the city can change size. Thank you. I actually do have maps of Sigil, and know where the school is in relation. (It's near the guildhouse ward, in a small "town" called Sigil East, which most mapmakers intentionally leave off the "official" maps of Sigil.) What I actually need is a map of the campus itself; I suck at exterior maps. But I do appreciate the link.
Mr. Cheese 05-31-05, 06:19 PM	ph34r my crappy rough draft! http://img55.echo.cx/my.php?image=sigilprep7ks.gif
Nyat 05-31-05, 11:35 PM	I don't frequent the race or class boards often, but I just happened to recently and saw these two awesome posts. I told my fellow players about them and they thought it was hilarious, I'd just like to say that you are now one of my favorite people (although that may just be an implication of how little it takes for me to idolize someone) Edit: This also made me think of this (http://www.wizards.com/dnd/article.asp?x=dnd/dx20020401e), if only caffeine really worked that well. Edit again: I just remembered, I too demand Raistlin quotes :P
captainswift 05-31-05, 11:48 PM	Edit: This also made me think of this (http://www.wizards.com/dnd/article.asp?x=dnd/dx20020401e), if only caffeine really worked that well. Holy cabooses! That's too funny.
captainswift 06-01-05, 10:36 PM	ph34r my crappy rough draft! http://img55.echo.cx/my.php?image=sigilprep7ks.gif Nice so far. I especially like the absurdly thin building, with I'll probably assign to the Admissions Office, or something that completely could not operate out of a building that thin.
Niveus Lynx 06-01-05, 11:22 PM	Nice so far. I especially like the absurdly thin building, with I'll probably assign to the Admissions Office, or something that completely could not operate out of a building that thin. Make it a sort of "Mages building which technically shouldn't exist, or have a square footage of 5,400 feet." :P
Dagda Mor 06-01-05, 11:31 PM	This is absolutely awesome. Seriously, comedic genius. Poor Naull. . . :cookie: :cookie:, and I'm a man who takes his cookies seriously, mind you.
captainswift 06-02-05, 11:14 PM	Okay, being the lifeless little nerd I am, here's A to F of everything that was presented as a monster class in Savage Species... Athach (14 HD +5 LA): "He's got a third arm. Growing out of his chest. Um... Is there any way we can use that?" --Redgar, quarterback Drider (6 HD +4 LA): "I'm sorry, De'nnaa, but you did volunteer to leave Students for Lolth. I hear the dorm basement is nice." --Maddie Webber, president and head taskmistress, Students for Lolth Ettercap (5 HD +4 LA): "This is why I hate these multiracial dorms. Between Maddie, that Ettercap that she hangs our with, and the Aranea in room Negative Square Root of 5, I can't get from here to the elevator without cobwebs all in my hair." --Kailey, 4th year tiefling monk/sorcerer Flesh Golem (9 HD +6 LA): "I've got a new roommate lined up. I just have to finish building him. Come on, let me move!" --Naull, desperation mounting Air Elemental (8 HD +6 LA): There is always the danger that, after summoning an Elemental, it won't want to go away. Before you bring it to the enrollment office, remember, you can dispel it. Belker (7 HD +5 LA): "Smoke, what smoke? Oh, that's just J'im. I like summoning Belkers. I'm not trying to cover up anything." --Vadania, 4th year elf druid Earth Elemental (8 HD +5 LA): "Okay, men. You been pretty rough on the tackle dummies these last few practices. So I had Professor Raistlin here summon us up a mess of these bad boys. Any you freshmen can knock one down, you get promoted to first string." --Coach Klank, football coach Fire Elemental (8 HD +6 LA): "Hey, Naull. Either the room's on fire, or Dave's here to see you. Hmm. Well, if you're Dave, she's asleep. If you're the room on fire, I'll be at my boyfriend's." --Lidda, Naull's roommate Fire Giant (15 HD +4 LA): "Professor Hee'tmizer is too cool. He sings that goofy song, while his little Azer buddies dance around behind him, every time you come to visit. Too bad he never let Professor Sz'nomizzar let it snow on campus." --Soveliss, who is an elf, if that helps you get the reference Frost Giant "Hey, I came up with the goofy song. Hee'tmizer just copied mine and changed some of the words around." --Professor Sz'nomizzar; I mean, if you don't get the reference right away, it's not going to be funny later... Aranea (3 HD +4 LA): "Between my school work, my job at the local newspaper, and taking care of my sickly aunt, I barely have any time for myself." --Pahrkarh, 2nd year aranea sorcerer Annis (7 HD +5 LA): Mrs. Krivel teaches Advanced Curses, and graduate level Villainy. She has a zero tolerance for unexcused absences. First offense is an automatic cooking. Astral Deva (12 HD +8 LA): "My great-grandfather was an Astral Deva. He has a lot of pull with Heironeous. I'm no fool, I know where my scholarship comes from." --Merrick, aasimar paladin Avoral (7 HD +7 LA): Every year, Mr. Brightwing takes the second and third year Neutral Good Philosophies classes to Elysium as a class trip. Allegedly, some classes actually get to meet Pelor, but most of the time, they just get to listen to some speech by Sathia the Sky Duchess of the Five Companions. Barghest (6 HD +4 LA): "Well, he looked like a goblin." --Mr. Roper of housing, explaining why half the first year goblin students at Maglubiyet Dormitory were eaten Djinn (7 HD +6 LA): "I wish I got an A in Civilizations. I wish I got an A in Literature..." --Matalla, freshman djinni, calling home to dad. "I don't suppose you've read the honor code in regard to wishes?" --Eberk, dean of Divine Thought. "Aaannd I wish Eberk would forget about that honor code dealy." --Matalla again Efreeti (10 HD +9 LA): "No, I don't really get much out of teaching, but there's hardly any adventuring in Zakhara anymore, and I needed the gp's. Wait, this is for the yearbook? Can I give you another quote?" --Drakkha, professor of Elemental Fire Studies Flamebrother (4 HD +4 LA): "What? I thought a salamander was a little bitty newt-like thing. Man, I hate Spell Components Lab." --Hennet, 3rd year human sorcerer
Nobby 06-02-05, 11:24 PM	:cheer::cheer: this just keeps geting better and better :cheer::cheer:
Manyfist 06-03-05, 12:31 AM	What about the Draegoth? Draegloth(ECL: 12) I don't Know the LA or HD. Draegloths are the results of the Ultimate test between a Graduate of Students of Lolth. Drow Priestess that show favor must lay with a Glaberzu. In truth its alot better than to be turn into a Drider. "I have to do WHAT now?!" Maddie Webber, Recent Graduate. :D "Jeggred was one Hell of a quater back, yet we had a talk not to rip the Refree in half, when ever we lost a game." Coach Klank remembering the good old days. "Follow Eilistraee, Get laid and Dance in the moonlight nude. Follow Lolth, don't get laid, and don't dance, make a choice." Jaezred, Draegloth Cleric of Eilistraee.
Dagda Mor 06-03-05, 12:58 AM	Manyfist, that's freaking awesome. Captainswift, I especially love the fire elemental quote.
Manyfist 06-03-05, 01:01 AM	Manyfist, that's freaking awesome. I especially love the fire elemental quote. Thanks. I don't understand the Fire Elemental quote..., I like the Barghest quote though.
Dagda Mor 06-03-05, 01:08 AM	Dave is a fire elemental. Seems basic to me. What I really liked best was Maddie's line. Can I make a suggestion? Simplify it. The "just realized what she has to do" part is redundant and detracts from the humor. For example: "I have to do WHAT now?!" Maddie Webber, recent graduate.
Mr. Cheese 06-04-05, 12:49 AM	ummmmm... actualy, I don't see what I would need to change for a final draft of the map.(Maybe I should just change the file name and stick it on upload temple)
Manyfist 06-04-05, 12:53 AM	Is Naull a Guy or girl? :confused:
Niveus Lynx 06-04-05, 01:16 AM	Is Naull a Guy or girl? :confused: Naull has chesticles. Clearly a girl.
Manyfist 06-04-05, 01:23 AM	Naull has chesticles. Clearly a girl. Does any one have a Pic of Naull?
Niveus Lynx 06-04-05, 01:36 AM	http://www.wizards.com/books/images/naullsized.jpg Note the chesticles...
Manyfist 06-04-05, 01:42 AM	http://www.wizards.com/books/images/naullsized.jpg Note the chesticles... ok... I see now.
Niveus Lynx 06-04-05, 01:49 AM	ok... I see now. You...you can stop looking now. Hello? You there...? What are you doing with that baby oil? :OMG!
Manyfist 06-04-05, 02:26 AM	You...you can stop looking now. Hello? You there...? What are you doing with that baby oil? :OMG! lol. The same thing you did. ;)
captainswift 06-04-05, 12:29 PM	Love this thread, great job captainswift :w00t: Mummies: “If you have a course in Ancient Civilizations, you definitely want a class with Professor Ank’Nahaset. He really knows a lot…because, you know, he was there when it happened.” -Mialee Yeah. Stealing this, too. sorry it took so long.
captainswift 06-04-05, 12:40 PM	Part two of Savage Species: Magmin (2 HD +3 LA): "Fire in the hole!" --Gartha the Red, enjoys the sport of Magmin-tossing into Chem lab Grig (+3 LA): "Ever since my poppa built me, that grig has been sittin' on my shoulder callin' himself my conscious. The irony is, everything I got blamed for, he did!" --Coach Klank, got no strings to hold him down Nixie (+3 LA): "Sixteen shower stalls and only one tub on this floor, and guess where little Nixie Neela decides to sleep." --Kailey, 3rd year monk/sorcerer Griffon (7 HD +3 LA): "If you have an intelligent mount, and the mount wishes to enroll, that must be discussed between you and your mount." --excerpt, Student Handbook Green Hag (9 HD +5 LA): Every year the Red Campus has a *****in' Feast of the Dead party. A lot of the girls dress like Green Hags. Except the Green Hag girls; they dress like Mialee. (Shudder). Harpy (7 HD +3 LA): "No more harpies! It's ridiculous to have a sold-out concert where the entire audience follows the opening act out of the theatre after a lame cover of 'Killing Me Softly'." --Storm Silverhand, Professor of Bardic Knowledge and rock 'n' roll goddess Medusa (6 HD +4 LA): "Teertha, maybe it's time we reconsidered your place on the cheerleading squad." --Maddie Webber, head cheerleader Ghaele (10 HD +10 LA): Wherever evil and tyranny raise their ugly heads, the ghaeles respond. Wherever evil and tyranny take second year Alchemy, the ghaeles sign up for different lab partners. Hamatula (9 HD +5 LA): "From a Blood War standpoint, I hate them, of course. From an organizational standpoint, they're good to stick papers on." --Shemeska the Marauder, Dean of Admissions Imp (3 HD +4 LA): "Professor Morthos made us go out to the Black Campus courtyard, where the Imp students and the Quasit students were doing a reenactment of the Blood Wars. I guess it was supposed to be educational, but I haven't slept in months." --Hennet, 3rd year human sorcerer Kyton (8 HD +6 LA): "So, like, the chains are just for combat, or..." --Mialee, always trails off at the right moment Lillend (7 HD +6 LA): "Rivina is hands down the best actress in Drama Club, but the feathers, the snake tail... I'm just not buying her as Lady MacBeth." --Devis, theatre critic Mummy (8 HD +5 LA): “If you have a course in Ancient Civilizations, you definitely want a class with Professor Ank’Nahaset. He really knows a lot…because, you know, he was there when it happened.” -Mialee, 5th year elf wizard
Manyfist 06-04-05, 01:44 PM	Swift, I got Stolen Artwork on this computer, I can find some Pics of most the stuff. :P If you need any Artwork I could always help :P
captainswift 06-04-05, 01:46 PM	Does any one have a Pic of Naull? Well... I did a picture of Sigil Prep Naull, but I couldn't figure out how to put it up here. I stuck it on the front page of the web site, but it's not a good scan, so I'm not sure if I'll leave it. EDIT: I took it down, it was just uglying the place up. Mayhap if I were to color it...
captainswift 06-04-05, 01:49 PM	Swift, I got Stolen Artwork on this computer, I can find some Pics of most the stuff. :P If you need any Artwork I could always help :P Um, thanks. I don't need stolen artwork, per se. I need original artwork that I can put up legally. Especially of the football team.
Manyfist 06-04-05, 01:49 PM	Well... I did a picture of Sigil Prep Naull, but I couldn't figure out how to put it up here. I stuck it on the front page of the web site, but it's not a good scan, so I'm not sure if I'll leave it. That's a Bad piece of work.... :P Its so Blurry...
Manyfist 06-04-05, 01:54 PM	Um, thanks. I don't need stolen artwork, per se. I need original artwork that I can put up legally. Especially of the football team. It's Legal. Most the places I put up say, "Don't, Sell" and that's all. :D Besides, look it's Maddies Brother! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v218/Manyfist/Brandon/zyclos.gif
aelryinth 06-04-05, 02:10 PM	"It's annoying to spend Advanced Spellcasting in a class where all the students keep "studying your body" so they can be sure to have a superior form to shapechange into!" --Arthorim, Astral Deva of Rao. "Mmmm, studying...body...yes." - Mialee, purring about Advanced Spellcasting. "Poor Arthorim still hasn't figured out what his Aura is doing to the class. On the positive side, there are no Students of Lolth in Advanced Spellcasting this semester." = Tenser, smug guest teacher and planar ally to Arthorim. ===Aelryinth
He Who Lurks 06-04-05, 04:21 PM	I've got one. Liches: "Shalmach the Corrupter is definitely our oldest student. Indeed, he's been here almost as long as I have, and I am one of the founding members of this University." - Ank'Nahaset, Professor of Ancient Civilizations "I have enough credits to graduate, but I'm not convinced that I've experienced everything that Sigil Prep has to offer." - Shalmach the Corrupter, 3,248th year lich wizard
Manyfist 06-04-05, 05:11 PM	I've got one. Liches: "Shalmach the Corrupter is definitely our oldest student. Indeed, he's been here almost as long as I have, and I am one of the founding members of this University." - Ank'Nahaset, Professor of Ancient Civilizations "I have enough credits to graduate, but I'm not convinced that I've experienced everything that Sigil Prep has to offer." - Shalmach the Corrupter, 3,248th year lich wizard That's good. :P
captainswift 06-04-05, 06:47 PM	It's Legal. Most the places I put up say, "Don't, Sell" and that's all. :D Um, that's a picture from Player's Guide to Faerun. It's a copyrighted piece. It is, in fact, very illegal to post that on a web site without permission.
Manyfist 06-04-05, 06:59 PM	Um, that's a picture from Underdark. It's a copyrighted piece. It is, in fact, very illegal to post that on a web site without permission. I'll take it off, and put another one on in one min. I forgot about all my pics. :D Brb.
captainswift 06-04-05, 07:15 PM	I'll take it off, and put another one on in one min. I forgot about all my pics. :D Brb. Thanks, I appreciate the effort. But unless you're the original artist, I'm not really comfortable using it. At any rate, I want some pieces that are very representative of the setting: fantasy characters doing college-type things.
Nyat 06-04-05, 08:50 PM	Well I don't I saw the Champions of Ruin races (other than Draegloth) so I decided I'd contribute to this great thread. Note: I'm doing Daegloth again simply because I thought of something that made me chuckle Draegloth: "Ya, I remember Jeggred. He was a great player, usually maimed instead of tackled, but kind of a momma's boy" - Regdar, quarterback Extaminaar: "I was fine with all those creepy snakes of yours...but please STOP GRAFTING **** TO ME!" -Anii 3rd year ranger who just woke up to discover a brand new tail (coincidentally, he just decided who, I mean what, his next favored enemy will be) Krinth: Sorry but I couldn't come up with anything for the Krinth. Maybe you could make a joke about how they speak Halruaan even though they live on the other side of Faerun.
Mr. Cheese 06-05-05, 10:11 PM	:bump:
captainswift 06-05-05, 11:31 PM	And the end of the Savage Species trilogy (Darth Vader is Luke's father): Umber Hulk (8 HD +6 LA): "Hey! You bump me, jerk? Hey, don't walk off! Yeah, you look me in the eye and say that, punk! You look me pork chop wiener dog healthy port-a-potty clam bake." --Krusk, potato salad fedora Elminster-bane Water Elemental (8 HD +5 LA): "Okay, I'm thinking it's, like, just a tub of water. He could have said something at any time before I finished my bath. I do not regret banishing him." --Mialee, 5th year elf wizard Sea Hag (3 HD +5 LA): "Sea Hag." --Krusk, 3rd year half-orc barbarian. "Of course I see her, she's right there." --Regdar, 5th year human fighter. "No! Her. Sea Hag." --Krusk. "Well, she doesn't see a hag. She sees a half-orc and a human." --Regdar. "Grrr. No. I'm saying, there. Sea Hag." --Krusk. "I saw her the first time." --Regdar. "Ugh. Next time you make a dumb orc joke, I'm pounding your head in." --Krusk Succubus (6 HD +6 LA): "Maddie the Drow, Kailey the tiefling, Brianna the Succubus... Is the whole cheerleading squad evil?" --Merrick, aasimar paladin Triton (3 HD +2 LA): "I took my first three years at Great Sea Academy. Good school, but Umberlee occasionally smites it. It's a rebuilding year, so I transferred here." --Vistish, 4th year triton ranger Trumpet Archon (12 HD +8 LA): "Wasn't good enough? Wasn't good enough!? Come on, it's a freaking racial ability! You know what? Screw your show band!" --Agania, trumpet archon freshman Vrock (8 HD +8 LA): "He-llo!? You call that dancing? When I say this number should bring the house down, I'm not kidding? You know what, choreograph it yourself." --Korkarack, Vrock dance coach Treant (7 LA +5 LA): Four years ago, the cafeteria was picketed by treant students protesting the violent use of innocent plants as food products. It was, pardon the term, fruitless. Since then, the sentient plant student population has dropped to near non-existent. Shadow (3 HD +7 LA): "I can tell you a good reason not to attend Sigil. I don't think there's a single shadow attending this school that hasn't ended up bonded to some Shadowdancer student." --Miltrin, unhappy shadow sophomore
captainswift 06-10-05, 09:32 PM	Well, while I mull over what kind of rival school might be located in Faerun's Underdark (which doesn't leave everyone wondering why Maddie didn't just go there), I think I'll honor Manyfist's request of some time back, and do his homebrew races. (He's already done his Dhampir himself): Variag: "I've never heard of Lar's homeplane, but I admire the way they treat halflings there. Lidda looks so cute in that bow and little pink dress." --Naull, briefly reprieved Abat-Dolor: "You say you're from the same race that spawned Graz'zt?" *rip, rip, shred, rip* "How odd. I seem to have lost your application. Oh, well. Better luck next semester." --Shemeska, arcanoloth Dean of Admissions Deinonychus: It's always a housing issue. Eberron halflings feel more at home with one of these guys in the dorm. Meanwhile, Deinonychuses end up wanting to kill the Eberron halflings. Rule of thumb: Please refrain from treating your roommates like pets. His retakes on the core races will wait, I think.
Manyfist 06-10-05, 09:56 PM	Well, while I mull over what kind of rival school might be located in Faerun's Underdark (which doesn't leave everyone wondering why Maddie didn't just go there), I think I'll honor Manyfist's request of some time back, and do his homebrew races. (He's already done his Dhampir himself): Variag: "I've never heard of Lar's homeplane, but I admire the way they treat halflings there. Lidda looks so cute in that bow and little pink dress." --Naull, briefly reprieved Abat-Dolor: "You say you're from the same race that spawned Graz'zt?" *rip, rip, shred, rip* "How odd. I seem to have lost your application. Oh, well. Better luck next semester." --Shemeska, arcanoloth Dean of Admissions Deinonychus: It's always a housing issue. Eberron halflings feel more at home with one of these guys in the dorm. Meanwhile, Deinonychuses end up wanting to kill the Eberron halflings. Rule of thumb: Please refrain from treating your roommates like pets. His retakes on the core races will wait, I think. Oh my that was SO hilarious.... I admit.. your better than me when coming up with hilarious stuff like this. :evillaugh :bow: :bow: :bow:
captainswift 06-10-05, 10:33 PM	Oh my that was SO hilarious.... I admit.. your better than me when coming up with hilarious stuff like this. :evillaugh :bow: :bow: :bow: Nah. Some of my stuff I think is quite good, some of my stuff is just filler. Many others (including yourself) have contributed things that are just as good. I don't think they all have to be brilliant. I just try to keep it all consistent.
Niveus Lynx 06-11-05, 01:49 AM	I'm not requesting you add my homebrew races to your site, but I'd like to see what you can make of them. (Links in my sig.) EDIT: My first post here is at the top of this page.
Manyfist 06-11-05, 02:19 AM	;) "Hey fish boy! I'll race you to the vending machine!" Krusk making fun of Saphire a Male Rohkm. :P "Oh no! Its turning into one them Hentai movie! This is the fifth one this week! Oh, its with that Smexy Female Illithid, I'm in! " A Culverin Actor. ;) "Hey! Don't Sniff there!" Maddie Webber, Marked by Josh the Kinn. "Honestly you ever seen one them Halflings with the Shark Tail? No? Well Lidda is dating one!" Krusk clueless as ever by speaking to Lidda's Ex..
Quirriff 06-11-05, 03:38 AM	I can't wait for races of Stone/Destiny/Wild stuff. Especially sharakim.
captainswift 06-11-05, 01:29 PM	I'm not requesting you add my homebrew races to your site, but I'd like to see what you can make of them. (Links in my sig.) Ah, and now with the added challenge of not duplicating Manyfist as well. Rohkm: "Okay, Krusk, you go long and try to stay open. Tordek, I need you to keep their half-ogre off of Krusk. And Onyx, why don't you... talk to fish, hahahahaha!!!" --Regdar, quarterback. "You know, if you didn't say that every huddle..." --Onyx, close to quitting the team Culverin: "He was, like, real cute and whatever, y'know, in the face. Stayed in the pool. I saw his hands the whole time, right? But somehow, all the girls' swimsuits came off." --Mialee, 5th year elf wizard Kinn: "So, uh, Vadania, can I... uh, ask you a... I've been noticing you and, um, well... You seem really... oh boy... I was wondering... Is your animal companion doing anything tonight?" --Tarv, 2nd year Kinn fighter Ram-Dao: *knock* "Candygram" --Kale, 1st year Ram-Dao fighter. "What?" --Naull, 4th year human wizard. "Candygram." --Kale "Who is this?" --Naull. "Uh, pizza." --Kale. "I didn't order pizza." --Naull. "Mailman." --Kale. "Hold on." --Naull. "Now, when she opens the door, jump on her with all four claws. She loves jokes like that." --Lidda, Naull's roommate
Niveus Lynx 06-11-05, 01:40 PM	That is the first time I've ever laughed out loud while surfing. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
captainswift 06-14-05, 03:01 PM	Ta-tada-daaaa... And now, the Planar Handbook: Buomann: " * " --Himmanan, 1st year buomann monk Mephling (+1 LA): "But every other race that's 'fire' something is immune to fireballs. Fire giant, firenewt, I just assumed fire mephling would be." --Hennet, regretting his participation in prank week Shadowswyft (+1 LA): "Hey! Stop sneakin' up on me. Don't you know that's rude?" --Lidda, 4th year halfling rogue, to Nlah, 3rd year shadowswyft rogue Neraphim: The Neraphim come from the plane of Limbo, and thus are quite insightful in Chaotic Neutral Philosophies class. That is, when they show up. Assuming they show up at the right time. In the right building. And the professor's there. Not that it matters, because your grade is whatever the professor writes on your report card anyway. Spiker: "Yes, your housing costs are higher than your roommate's and no that's not a mistake. We do have to replace your mattress every single day, after all." --Shemeska, arcanoloth Dean of Admissions, to any given spiker student Wildren (+1 LA): It all started, of course, when Brum threw his mashed potatoes at Krusk. I've never seen a food fight put so many people in the infirmary.
captainswift 06-18-05, 06:26 PM	Aaaand... Races of Stone... Goliath (+1 LA): We started taking Goliath students --this was before the school was fully integrated, mind you-- for one reason only. Defensive line. Turns out they can't run in a freakin' straight line. Still, we would have been happy if only the division had let us build our football field on a craggy cliff face. Feral Gargun (2 HD +2 LA): "Here's some advice for half-orc students. Feral gargun wingman. Bam! You're the cute one by default." --Krusk, ain't too pretty Chaos Gnome (+1 LA): They are the luckiest people in all the worlds, Chaos Gnomes. Aidien, for instance, has been known to close his eyes and fill in circles at random, and he maintains a B average. More impressively, he went out with Mialee for an entire month, and he's not on a single team. Whisper Gnome: "Oh, yeah. My roommate's a whisper gnome. I never see him, though. Which is pretty creepy, because he's actually in the room." --Nebin, who needed a quote Dream Dwarf: The novelty of dwarven precogs is such that for half a semester people were lining up at Mala's dorm room, paying her 25 gold a piece to give them advice about the future, relationships, what have you. Until somebody finally pointed out that there was a basic, freshman level course that did the same thing. Stonechild (2 HD +4 LA): "I think our mistake was putting Kihild at the top of the pyramid." --Maddie Webber, head cheerleader and chiropractic patient
captainswift 06-18-05, 06:43 PM	I've got one. Liches: "Shalmach the Corrupter is definitely our oldest student. Indeed, he's been here almost as long as I have, and I am one of the founding members of this University." - Ank'Nahaset, Professor of Ancient Civilizations "I have enough credits to graduate, but I'm not convinced that I've experienced everything that Sigil Prep has to offer." - Shalmach the Corrupter, 3,248th year lich wizard Okay, this'll be in the timeline, once I get working on it: Year 1: Sigil Prep is founded, the first known school of its kind anywhere in the planes. Among it's first students is a young wizard named Shalmach. Year 5: First graduating class. Shalmach decides to continue on with his studies. Year 20: Shalmach --now "the Corruptor" because he's 35 and the cheerleaders he's so fond of ain't-- is offered a full scholarship to Union Conservatory. He chooses to stay at Sigil. Year 75: Afraid he might, at his advanced age, die before he has learned everything there is to learn, Shalmach becomes a lich. Year 156: Shalmach has now been here longer than any of the non-Administrative faculty. Year 522: Shalmach has grown bored of wizardry, and mutli-majors into Sorcery. Year 1142: An extra library is built exslusively to house Shalmach's spell books. Year 1985: Celebrating his 2000th birthday, Shalmach enrolls for the Archmage major. He is given his diploma the same day. He transfers to the Cleric major for another century to qualify for True Necromancy. Year 2500: Forced to graduate by Dean of Admissions Shemeska the Marauder, Shalmach pulls out his original application, points out he failed to initial on his student loan apps, and asks to start over as a freshman. Shemeska responds by killing him, but can't find the phylactery. Year 2501: Regenerated, Shalmach the Corruptor re-applies and re-enrolls. Year 3248: Current campaign begins. Shalmach the Corruptor is still here. No one even wants to think about how many levels this dude has.
The Listener 06-18-05, 09:52 PM	This is a very cool idea! I'll see what I can do regarding drawing you up some artwork. A few questions, though. Does Sigil Prep have a mascot? Also, does it have any official school colors (the colors of the athletes uniforms and stuff like that)?
captainswift 06-19-05, 02:03 AM	This is a very cool idea! I'll see what I can do regarding drawing you up some artwork. A few questions, though. Does Sigil Prep have a mascot? Also, does it have any official school colors (the colors of the athletes uniforms and stuff like that)? Hmm. "Mascot" as in "What's the name used by the sports teams": the Planewalkers. "Mascot" as in "What does the dork who dresses in the big costume at the pep rallies dress as?": Haven't thought about it. I'll get back to this. "Mascot" as in "Do they have an animal in a cage on display?": Yes. An Astral Dreadnaught. There doesn't seem to be much concern for student safety around here. School colors: I don't know why, I want to say gold and white. (The logo is the name "Sigil" over a "map of Sigil" (aka, a donut).)
Quirriff 06-19-05, 03:20 AM	Goliaths would rule the football fields, compared to goatball, football is childs play.
captainswift 06-19-05, 07:56 PM	Ibixian: "Let's just say this: Attach your jar labels with magic." - Merlos, 4th year half-elf wizard Will be using a variation of this...
captainswift 06-19-05, 08:06 PM	Critters with "...as Characters" write-ups from the MMIII. (A to G) Flind (2 HD +2 LA): "Flind bar, right, whatever. That nunchuck fad was over a decade ago. Dork." --Kailey, 4th year tiefling monk/sorcerer Forestkith Goblin (+1 LA): "So, then, on the way to the shower, I transported via plants, and, I don't know... I swear I thought I heard the tree giggle." --Vadania, 4th year elf druid Dracotaur (3 HD +5 LA): "Do not think this is compassion, puny elf. I give you my pudding cup merely because I do not like butterscotch." --Kargoff, 1st year dracotaur fighter Sand Giant (15 HD +4 LA): "Well, yeah, the sand giant girls are good at beach volleyball, but... *shudder*" --Regdar, 5th year human fighter Armand (5 HD +3 LA): "They don't believe in wealth, but they long for the "pleasures of life". Now, how exactly can you experience the pleasures of life without beer money?" --Regdar, 5th year human fighter Goatfolk (3 HD +1 LA): "Sir, I have an Ibixian lab partner. He ate the labels on my potion bottles. I don't remember what's my Potion of Heroism, and what's the Greekfire I made." --Hennet, 3rd year human sorcerer "Well, only one way to find out." --Professor Raistlin Majere
captainswift 06-22-05, 11:11 PM	MMIII, H to R: Harssaf (6 HD +4 LA): "It's the sand, y'know? It sort of chafes." --Mialee, 5th year elf wizard Nycter (3 HD +2 LA): "Trolls are a superstitious, cowardly lot, so my disguise must strike terror into their hearts..." --Brue Zwain, 1st year nycter ranger Kenku: Last year, this kenku used his mimicry ability to impersonate Professor Raistlin, hoping to get Records to change his grades. Sounded just like the Prof. Still looked like a big crow in a hoody, though. Poison Dusk Lizardfolk (+1 LA): There hasn't been one here yet who didn't major in Ranger. They always choose Humanoid (frat boy) as their favored enemy, and they always claim their victim's kegs as their treasure. Lumi (2 HD +2 LA): "Get... Out... Of... My... Classroom..!!!" --Professor Strahd von Zoravich, vampire spellcraft instructor Naztharune Rakshasa (11 HD +5 LA): Mr. Fasshahd's teaching assistant, Maraa'h, does all his grunt work: grading papers, printing lesson plans, murdering his detractors in Chessenta... Skullcrusher Ogre (8 HD +3 LA): "Best assistant coach I ever had." --Klank, warforged football coach Quaraphon (9 HD +5 LA): "AAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!" --Mialee, 5th year elf wizard
captainswift 06-23-05, 06:31 PM	Challenge round, part 3: daExecutioner's Races of Demon's Eye (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=451849) : Aven: "This'll be great. They fly, they're unlucky... picture window, pow!" --Kerwyn, 4th year practical joker Cybordian: "Uh, nice graft and all, but... I'm not sure I want to drink coffee that came out of a guy." --Regdar, 5th year human fighter Dragonkin: "Dude. Breath mint. Keep the box." --Krusk, curiously strong Drakin: "They hate everybody, just sneer and look away. Utter disdain for anyone who isn't them. You gotta respect that." --Kailey, 3rd year tiefling cynic Spiritkin: "That kid could run some track. It's a shame he got suspended for turning ethereal and running through the hurdles" --Coach Klank
karadoc 06-24-05, 02:27 PM	Does anybody knows the modifiers of the demon race succubus/incubus Does it have atrributes adjustment or skills What´s his lvl adjusment All those racial traits I need Please help me Thanks Email me the info to liquid_boss@yahoo.com
captainswift 06-24-05, 10:45 PM	And, the remainder of MMIII: Crystalline Troll (10 HD +5 LA): "Told him not to sit next to the speaker." --Garrath, stone giant janitor, sweeping up after last night's Silverhand concert Warforged Charger (4 HD +4 LA): "Wait, Warforged people evolved from Warforged apes? Man, what kind of crap do they teach in those Eberron schools?" --Krusk, 4th year half-orc barbarian Warforged Scout: "I thought the Red team would have sent a scout to spy on us by now, but it seems they're close to surrendering. They've even sent us this shiny award statue. Let's just set him right here in our command center while we discuss our strategy over pizza." --Tobias, 3rd year human marshal Witchknife (9 HD +3 LA): "Okay, the last three games you bet against us and used your psionic command to influence the outcome. If it happens again..." --Regdar, 5th year human fighter "Throw the game" --Bork, witchknife rogue "You make a good point." --Regdar
Kurama Youko 06-25-05, 05:10 AM	just wanted to join the thread great stuff.
DaExecutiona 06-25-05, 08:11 PM	Challenge round, part 3: daExecutioner's Races of Demon's Eye (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=451849) : Aven: "This'll be great. They fly, they're unlucky... picture window, pow!" --Kerwyn, 4th year practical joker Cybordian: "Uh, nice graft and all, but... I'm not sure I want to drink coffee that came out of a guy." --Regdar, 5th year human fighter Dragonkin: "Dude. Breath mint. Keep the box." --Krusk, curiously strong Drakin: "They hate everybody, just sneer and look away. Utter disdain for anyone who isn't them. You gotta respect that." --Kailey, 3rd year tiefling cynic Spiritkin: "That kid could run some track. It's a shame he got suspended for turning ethereal and running through the hurdles" --Coach Klank Ni-hi-hice Man! :w00t: Seriously awesome work! :ayyyy!: I bow to your comic superiority! :bow: Great job, especally on the Spiritkin! :clap: Keep up the amazing work! :thumbsup: And thaks be to yas in the very much! :ayyyy!: Now to incorperate this into tomorrow's game...:plotting: :evillaugh :schemes:
Taeldrin Laesrash 06-27-05, 11:21 AM	I've got an entry for the Erinyes, free for stealing. This is hilarious, by the way. Erinyes: Professor Setriths? Hmph, what an idiot. The most zealous Lawful Evil Philosophies teacher, and then is claiming he's a fallen angel to get an advance in his pay.-Shemeska the Marauder, Dean of Admissions
Starmage21 06-27-05, 12:12 PM	Succubus (6HD +6LA): "'Village Bicycle' mean anything to you?" -- Krusk, 4th year Half-Orc Barbarian speaking of a popular student.
captainswift 06-28-05, 02:20 PM	And now, Frostburn (and believe me, it ain't easy coming up with different and interesting things involving a whole slew of races whose most definitive trait is "lives in cold climates"): Neanderthal: Neanderthals rarely pass the entrance exam to attend the school, but some are jobbed in for sports scholarships. It works out pretty well, except in Chemistry class, where they've based a religion around the Bunsen burners. Glacier Dwarf: "Man, Kailey's so cold, only a Glacier Dwarf could love her." --graffiti on the locker room in the Kord Gymnasium Snow Elf: Once again... Whatever the environment, from deep underwater, to steaming jungle, to the frigid, fricking tundra, there's an indigenous race of Elves there. "Professor Mordenkainen created his own demiplane some years back, from scratch, and there were Elves waiting for him. They're beautiful, stuck-up roaches." --Kailey, 3rd year tiefling monk/sorcerer Ice Gnome: Instead of talking to badgers, they talk to otters. That's all. Tundra Halfling: "Lidda met some Tundra halfling kids over break. Bad, bad thing. Halfling affinity for throwing, plus sneak attack, equals very nasty snowball fights." --Naull, Lidda's roommate Snow Goblin (+1 LA): "HEY, YOU GUYS WANT TO GO GRAB A BURGER?" --Goo-tha, 2nd year snow goblin fighter. "Dude, keep your voice down." --Krusk, 4th year half-orc barbarian "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I AM KEEPING MY VOICE DOWN!" --Goo-tha Uldra (+1 LA): Professor Skycornice teaches a number of language classes, from basic Orcish to Advanced Sylvan. She's a favorite around campus, and she only has one really strict rule. "No one comes in my classroom without a hat." (Common decency, you know.) Domovoi (2 HD +4 LA): "It was a pretty brilliant idea, really. Put a bed in the boiler room, instant Domovoi dorm. I work harder since they told me I didn't get to eat the students I couldn't house." --Mr. Roper, head of Housing Frostfolk (4 HD +1 LA): "You sold your soul to an archdevil to gain power over snow and ice? Then what do you have to offer me?" --Shemeska, Dean of Admissions and student loan officer
captainswift 07-02-05, 01:04 PM	Shining South: Tasloi: They have this pack mentality, that actually keeps their population at Sigil Prep down. Eighteen of them will send in applications at the same time, and if they all don't get in, none of them come. Cyclops (13 HD +4 LA): They're aggressive and enjoy raiding frat parties, keggers, and sorority pledge ceremonies. They drink the kegs, hit on a couple of girls until they get a fireball in the face, and give a couple of wedgies before they hit the road. I don't think they go to school here. Loxo (5 HD +2 LA): "They're a peaceful people. Except when they're mad. Professor Debib actually went to the division league and asked if we could convert to touch football. Not nearly as annoying as when he asked if we could convert to touch wrestling." --Coach Klank, warforged athletics instructor
captainswift 07-06-05, 12:52 PM	The monster classes from Libris Mortis: Ghast (4 HD +4 LA): "They can paralyze elves? So what? Under the right circumstances, so can Kerwyn." --Mialee, 5th year elf wizard Mohrg (14 HD +6 LA): "No vital areas to sneak attack? What? There's organs hanging out all over the place. How could you not sneak attack him?" --Lidda, 4th year halfling rogue Vampire Spawn (4 HD +4 LA): There aren't terribly many vampires signing up for Professor Strahd's Beginning Necromancy, but there are a lot coming out of that class... Wight (4 HD +4 LA): "I was a little surprised when a bunch of these guys signed up for the school's Spelljamming Club, but you know, they got the Wight Stuff... OW!" --Regdar, needs to shut up
Mr. Cheese 07-06-05, 01:13 PM	Captainswift, I am sorry, but I will NOT be able to complete my map of Sigil Prep :( You will have to find someone else to do it.
captainswift 07-06-05, 02:37 PM	Captainswift, I am sorry, but I will NOT be able to complete my map of Sigil Prep :( You will have to find someone else to do it. Sorry to hear that. But thanks for the groundwork.
Gilganarz_the_reporter 07-06-05, 08:23 PM	good to see my work still has an influence ;) Some Races of destiny illumian (La +0): " Yeah sure, you control all events at sigil prep. That still doesn't make your 'pyramid with the eye' gold piece legal"- Shemeska, denying another illumian students loan payments mongrelfolk (LA+0): " So I may not be the most attractive kind of guy, but can you name another student who got invited to the mid-term dwarf keg night AND the elf spring break road trip... except Kaylie?"- Wondarf, 3rd year mongrelfolk student underfolk: " Yet another piece of proof for drow trend setting. First the orcs do it and now this."- Maddie Webber.
Desert Mage 07-06-05, 08:42 PM	good to see my work still has an influence ;) Some Races of destiny illumian (La +0): " Yeah sure, you control all events at sigil prep. That still doesn't make your 'pyramid with the eye' gold piece legal"- Shemeska, denying another illumian students loan payments :clap: Nice one.
captainswift 07-12-05, 08:24 PM	Illumians? They're the ones who always end up in detention for having notes and cheatsheets during the tests. After all, having glowing runes floating around your head all the time makes it easy to slip in a few runes worth of notes, but the fact that they're glowing and floating around your head makes it way easy to get caught at it. With apologies to Gilganarz --love ya man-- this is the angle I'm stealing... using for the Illumians.
Taeldrin Laesrash 07-12-05, 08:36 PM	I'm surpised there's not much on fey. Just for fun, but a bit long. Nymph-The fey come from a realm where you party much and suck up to your superiors. Not to mention they're divided into a pair of courts. "M'hele, huh? As far as I know, she's a frequent partygoer, or looking for the next big gift for her teachers. Professer Raistlin's room becomes more like a palace every day."-Mialee, 5th year elf wizard "M'hele and Laventa got into an arguement yesterday. Something about being, unworthy and Unseelie scum. Man, what a catfight."-Regdar, remeniscining
captainswift 07-12-05, 10:12 PM	good to see my work still has an influence ;) underfolk: " Yet another piece of proof for drow trend setting. First the orcs do it and now this."- Maddie Webber. I'm going to work with this one, though.
captainswift 07-12-05, 10:22 PM	The "official" Races of Destiny races, in which humans join Dwarves and Elves in the world of Unlimited Subtypes: Illumian: "Illumian is a very difficult language to learn, so I have no idea whether they've got cheat notes in those floating sigils around their heads or not. It's my policy that any Illumian that looks in any direction during an exam fails." --Professor Morthos, head of Warlock studies Mongrelfolk: "Hating Mongrelfolk isn't racism. It's like hating all people equally. Am I right?" --Regdar, just doesn't give up. Sea Folk: "Aquatic humans aren't really aquatic!? That's so typical. Humans are so proud of their adaptability, but when you get right down to it, they're just a bunch of half-asses." --Kaylie, doesn't like humans, either Sharakim (+1 LA): "What's up with the denyin', that's what I want to know. Not only are these orcs dressing all preppy human, but they even went and got themselves the 'human' subtype." --Krusk, 4th year half-orc barbarian Skulk (2 HD +1 LA): "They just sit there, in little clumps, in the lobby of the dorm. Staring at the idiot box." --Mialee, creeped-out elf wizard "Idiot box?" --the humble author "Oh, yeah. They grabbed Devis and shoved him in a box, and make him tell stories all night. That's why Gimble's the iconic bard now. Wait, that quote's too metagame. Can I start over?" --Mialee Underfolk: "Deep Dwarves, Deep Gnomes, Deep Orcs, now Deep Humans. Let's not forget who started this trend, people. You all want to be Drow, and you know it." --Maddie Webber, 4th year Drow cleric/rogue
captainswift 07-12-05, 10:29 PM	I'm surpised there's not much on fey. Yeah, I know. Right now, I'm just doing things that have either: a) racial write-ups, b) "This Creature as PC's" listings in their monster entry, or c) monster classes. Once I catch up, I'll play around a little more. Thanks for the input, I love reading this stuff.
aelryinth 07-13-05, 12:32 AM	How about MOnte Cook's races? Giants, littorians, faen (two types) sprytes, sibeccai, mojh and now dracha. ==Aelryinth
Kodiak_Claw 07-13-05, 01:50 AM	"Deep Dwarves, Deep Gnomes, Deep Orcs, now Deep Humans. Let's not forget who started this trend, people. You all want to be Drow, and you know it." --Maddie Webber, 4th year Drow cleric/rogue "Of course I know who started the trend, it was us, back before your god existed." -- Mr. I’gn’tharia, looking for a good excuse. There any plans for Lords of Madness races? I can't quite think of a good Mialee quote for Half-Farspawn that would be acceptable to post. short list though, half farspawn, Ulitharid, Silthilar. Silthilar needs to be there for a university setting.
TheDarkestOfAngels 07-13-05, 03:29 AM	here's one: "I don't know why all the other girls run away from the farspawn and half-farspawn. Most fun I've had since I dated the football team." --Mialee
Dagda Mor 07-13-05, 03:14 PM	A comment about eberron and the dread pirate class in the classes thread has reminded me of something you might use: My friends and I have decided that Eberron half-elves have been redeemed because, as indicated by the illustration in the races section, they are clearly all pirates.
captainswift 07-15-05, 11:32 PM	The whopping two races from Races of the Wild that weren't done elsewhere. (And a classic example of taking a less obvious angle, with the Raptoran there...) Raptoran: Dholua is the pride of our debate team. Just last year, she debated Morikage in "The Honor System: Flavorful or Pointless", she took on Morgrave Academy over "Are Thousand Foot Towers Reckless Endangerment?", and she even went to Union Conservatory, and won the debate over "Is there such a thing as Too Powerful?" As I recall, the only time she lost was to Kailey: "Debating Pretentious Bird People is Lame." Killoren: "I came to Sigil Prep to return it to nature, but... but the city's natural state is as a city... but my race exists to bond with nature... but... but... Mialee's doing body shots..." --Kivil, freshman Killoren Druid
thinkhard 07-16-05, 12:21 AM	hahahaha
Manyfist 07-16-05, 02:09 AM	The whopping two races from Races of the Wild that weren't done elsewhere. (And a classic example of taking a less obvious angle, with the Raptoran there...) Raptoran: Dholua is the pride of our debate team. Just last year, she debated Morikage in "The Honor System: Flavorful or Pointless", she took on Morgrave Academy over "Are Thousand Foot Towers Reckless Endangerment?", and she even went to Union Conservatory, and won the debate over "Is there such a thing as Too Powerful?" As I recall, the only time she lost was to Kailey: "Debating Pretentious Bird People is Lame." Killoren: "I came to Sigil Prep to return it to nature, but... but the city's natural state is as a city... but my race exists to bond with nature... but... but... Mialee's doing body shots..." --Kivil, freshman Killoren Druid Hilarious man. :D
captainswift 07-17-05, 01:42 AM	Sandstorm: Asherati: "But I've heard such great things about Athas. The unbearable heat, the endless sand. Pleeaase, can we go there on Spring Break?" --Djede, sophomore Asherati rogue, and the first girl with whom Regdar initiated the breakup Bhuka: "Like, why do you keep coming to me for quotes. You want something like, 'Oh, he's got big feet, you know what that means?' Why do you want to make me look like some kind of ****? I mean, f' real, big whatever, he's still a goblin." --Mialee, 5th year elf wizard Crucian (3 HD +2 LA): "Terrible wrestlers. Flip 'em on their backs, it's over." --Coach Klank, warforged football (and substitute wrestling) coach Badlands Dwarf: "HA! I told you I could find water instinctively!" --Torrif, 3rd year badlands dwarf fighter "We're in the bathroom, dude." --Krusk, despite the insults, always surrounded by people dumber than himself Painted Elf: "Okay, in the desert, that's called 'camouflage'. Here, it's called 'Drag'." --Hennet, reconsidering his night on the town Scablands Half-orcs: "Now, I'm just trying to follow this, bear with me. You're dad was a regular orc. Your mom was a regular human. You were born in the desert. You can go an extended amount of time without water. Now, who did you inherit that from?" --Tordek, 4th year dwarf fighter
gerbilattack 07-17-05, 10:58 AM	This is a MM2 critter... Sirine (4HD+2-3LA): though they're Fey, there a lot freindlier than those nymphs, and sometimes go to the bar... (redgar) Imporant fetures: CHA deflection, ECL 6, Charming Song (11hrs, at will, all who hear), int dmg touch (1d4), Soothing touch (restores SIRINE Only int dmg), racial +8 perform, Spell-like abilities (1/day: fog cloud, improved invis, Plymorph Self. CL11 DC13+sp lvl), Aquadic, can breathe air, Fey, gregarious _________________ All may be fair in love and war, but here, there's RULES...
captainswift 07-19-05, 03:34 PM	And, for what it's worth... Neogi (5 HD +3): "There will never be a neogi student here as long as I'm Dean of Admissions. Even Yugoloths have to have standards." --Shemeska the Marauder
TaiShingPekWar 07-20-05, 10:35 PM	Sandstorm: Asherati: "But I've heard such great things about Athas. The unbearable heat, the endless sand. Pleeaase, can we go there on Spring Break?" --Djede, sophomore Asherati rogue, and the first girl with whom Regdar initiated the breakup Bhuka: "Like, why do you keep coming to me for quotes. You want something like, 'Oh, he's got big feet, you know what that means?' Why do you want to make me look like some kind of ****? I mean, f' real, big whatever, he's still a goblin." --Mialee, 5th year elf wizard Crucian (3 HD +2 LA): "Terrible wrestlers. Flip 'em on their backs, it's over." --Coach Klank, warforged football (and substitute wrestling) coach Badlands Dwarf: "HA! I told you I could find water instinctively!" --Torrif, 3rd year badlands dwarf fighter "We're in the bathroom, dude." --Krusk, despite the insults, always surrounded by people dumber than himself Painted Elf: "Okay, in the desert, that's called 'camouflage'. Here, it's called 'Drag'." --Hennet, reconsidering his night on the town Scablands Half-orcs: "Now, I'm just trying to follow this, bear with me. You're dad was a regular orc. Your mom was a regular human. You were born in the desert. You can go an extended amount of time without water. Now, who did you inherit that from?" --Tordek, 4th year dwarf fighter Haha man thats great stuff, finally Mialee fights the steriotype... sort of.
captainswift 08-06-05, 02:53 PM	DaExecutioner sent a PM with some write-ups for Dark Sun. I thought I'd share... Races: Athasian aarakocra: These guys are like standard aarakocras, but more mystical. As if, they pray more. Athasian dwarf: “Jurgan's the most stubborn dwarf you'll ever meet. He once got a touchdown, starting from our endzone, walking, with two ogres on his back, and being tacked every second, without dropping the ball once. Pisses them right off” -Regdar, captain of the football team Athasian Elf: “Fastest living thing with to legs. And I'm not talking about on the track.”-Mialee, who gives us WAY too much info. Athasian Half-Elf: These guys are such loners, they gain a skill bonus because of it. 'Nuff said Athasian Half-giant. “Thankfully none of dese half giants have made it into Sigil, or I'd be workin overtime, don 'cha know?” Professor Pammy, head of healing. Athasian Halfing “I thought nothing could be worse then rooming with Lidda. But then I met these guys. I can put up with the sneak attacks now that I know I don't have to worry about being dumped into a pot with a dozen little cannibalistic Liddas dancing around it chanting Yummy Naull, yummy Naull!!!”-Naull, whose sanity may have just snapped Athasian Human: These humans are just like normal humans, except they're about ten times as arrogant. Impossible you say? Remember, these are the guys that invented the templar class. Mul: “So you're half-dwarf, eh? I never thought Mialee would go that far. Ha!”-Regdar, 5th year human fighter “Dude, I'm half-human as well!” Aless Al'Fassim, 1st year templar “Oh, um... I'm leaving now”-Regdar Pterran- On most worlds the nature loving hippies are elves. On Athas elves destroy entire forests for campfires. So these guys took over the elves job. And they do it better to. Touche!
Manyfist 08-06-05, 05:53 PM	"Eeeoooohhh Ooouuuuuu?" Redgar trying to Woe Keitilili Sukailli, Darfellan Freshmen. "No thank you I don't speak Whale!" Keitilili Sukailli, Darfellan Freshmen :D Post it on the wrong Form.
ibitak84 08-06-05, 07:41 PM	Vampire Spawn (4 HD +4 LA): There aren't terribly many vampires signing up for Professor Strahd's Beginning Necromancy, but there are a lot coming out of that class... "Now, Kaas, you didn't show up for any of my classes this term! Every Monday, at midday!" -Mordenkainen to Kaas the Lesser, whose parents suck the blood out of their county to pay for Kaas' courses "Remember, that guy Naull was dating for a while? He seemed, like, impervious to Lidda's constant sneak attacks! Should be assuring, but wow, Naull was totally even paler then usual. Well, anyways, when they broke up and he came to me comfort... Let's just say I told him to 'Bite me.'" -Mialee, the elf who tastes...er... with taste.
TaiShingPekWar 08-16-05, 01:38 PM	Man I feel like an idiot for not seeing this earlier. Aranea is a spider human-ish race and the guy works at a newspaper and has a sickly aunt. I still am laughing. Most excellent work!
captainswift 08-16-05, 03:45 PM	Man I feel like an idiot for not seeing this earlier. Aranea is a spider human-ish race and the guy works at a newspaper and has a sickly aunt. I still am laughing. Most excellent work! Compliments of you friendly neighborhood Captainswift.
Ectoplasmoid 08-19-05, 08:03 PM	So is this ever going to become a real game? Because I would so play. Here's a quote for Githyanki: "Damn 'yankis." -Thelomas, 3rd-year githzerai Psionic Fist.
captainswift 08-19-05, 10:25 PM	So is this ever going to become a real game? Because I would so play. Well, if you're anywhere near Charlotte... I've been reading through some Play-by-Post games to see if it seems like something I can do, we'll see.
Decree Of Boredom 08-19-05, 11:30 PM	If this were a PbP, I would so play it. So, so, very much.
Ectoplasmoid 08-21-05, 01:46 AM	Yeah, I was thinking along the lines of PbP too. plothook.net is pretty good for that. Any thought to making a thread for professors/classes?
Decree Of Boredom 08-21-05, 09:02 PM	dndonlinegames is a favprite of mine for that kind of stuff. Hmmm....the words Kobold, Saint, and Sorcerer just popped into my head. Kobold. Saint. Sorcerer. Saint Scallicus the Burninator. Hmmmm.....
Ectoplasmoid 08-21-05, 10:38 PM	Please. St. Trogdor is much better. Sorc5/Elemental Savant10/Sacred Pyromancer5 Here's a teacher quote: "Yeah, Professor Raistlin 'call me Raist' is cool. He teaches transmutation I-IV, Metamagic 0/∞, Evocation π, Cantrips 101, and still has a keg party at his house every night. I asked him how he finds the time, and he just muttered "Fistandantilus". Whatever." -Mialee, impressed in an entirely innuendo-free way. [ "Well, my parents pay so much to this school that you can't do a damn thing about it!" -Kaas the lesser. "Shirak." -Professor Raistlin ]
captainswift 08-23-05, 10:36 PM	Yeah, I was thinking along the lines of PbP too. plothook.net is pretty good for that. Yeah, think we're gonna do this. I'll try to get something going this weekend when I've got a little time to put the proper words in the proper places. I'll let ya know when I've got something up.
Deekin 08-26-05, 04:24 PM	Oh, I so want In on this game. Oh, and you still have not done the Planescape races, so you still dond have the main races at Sigil Prep
captainswift 08-26-05, 05:46 PM	Okay, I've got a Request up at www.plothook.net Let's see what happens.
Deekin 09-20-05, 01:11 PM	:bump: No planescape races yet?
captainswift 10-31-05, 11:28 PM	Well, I finally got some new books, finally, finally. So without further adieu, the races from "Stormwrack": Aventi: "So in tune are we with the water, that we can cast spells with the "water" descriptor with advanced skill... let's see, no, no, no... no... *sigh* Water descriptor, water descriptor... Oh, here's one... that sucks..." -- 1st year Adaran, aventi wizard (and regretting it). Seacliff Dwarves: "They swim well, sure, but they just look so stupid doing it..." --Eretha, merfolk swim team coach Wavecrest Gnome: Mr. Roper was only too glad to grant Milth his request. Now, he lives in a small broom closet beside the swimming pool. Shoal Halfling: "Too small, throw him back." --Mialee, 5th year elf wizard Darfellan: "The Darfellan hate Sahuagin. They hunt Sahuagin, the Sahuagin kill them. The Darfellan are close to extinction, yet they continue to hate and hunt Sahuagin. And sahuagin are the evil ones. What am I missing?" --Zkk'skkklk, second year sahuagin expert (biology) Hadozee: "Deck ape, you poop-slinging moron. I called you a deck ape!" --Regdar, called him something else.
The Almighty Dru 11-01-05, 12:22 AM	Going through my subscriptions, I was wondering when we'd see some new stuff. It's quality entertainment. And since I've been following since the beginning, I thought I'd give it a go and contribute. So here's some of the new PC races from Magic of Incarnum. Azurin: "No one knows what it's like, to be the bad man, to be the sad man, behind blue eyes." --Arstor, azurin soulborn Rilkan: "Gold is the root of all good." --Common rilkan saying "I think I'm gonna like them." --Lidda, likes treasure Skarn: "Hey Mialee, look at that! You're not the horniest one around anymore!" --Regdar, about to get mage slapped
Demonfey 11-01-05, 03:13 PM	Great stuff. Just out of curiousity, what about grell? One could be an alchemy student teacher, since they seem to have a talent for it and combine it with magic into what is known as grell alchemy. Grell:...got nothing quote wise that's appropriate...
Demonfey 11-02-05, 12:50 AM	preemptive :bump: Got one! Skarn: Naull began hanging out near skarns, seeing as how they have the back spikes, Lidda would probably accidently get stabbed and give early enough warning to avoid getting stabbed in the back...she was wrong.
captainswift 11-04-05, 11:40 PM	Happy shining Magic of Incarnum race listing official strike!!!! (And I swear I wrote the Skarn one before I saw Demonfey's.): Azurin: Azurin do everything in extremes. If they're lawful, they're very lawful. If they're chaotic, they might well be Slaadi. If they take fourth year Undercommon, they take the hell out of fourth year Undercommon. For this reason, Maddie won't allow them on any committee where they might out-School Spirit her. Rilkan: "But it wasn't supposed to come off! It was scales, not a rash! I came in here for a volleyball physical!" --Tarrenta Willet, 3rd year rilkan bard and infirmary victim Skarn: "No, that's my roommate Lidda. She was trying to backstab you. If you don't mind, I'd like to just leave her impaled there for a little while." --Naull, to Stergan, freshman skarn incarnate Duskling: "Fey, huh? Like Sylphs or Nymphs or Dryads. Yeah, that sounds... Oh, my gods, what the hell is that?" --Regdar, first and last blind date
Manyfist 11-04-05, 11:53 PM	Happy shining Magic of Incarnum race listing official strike!!!! (And I swear I wrote the Skarn one before I saw Demonfey's.): Azurin: Azurin do everything in extremes. If they're lawful, they're very lawful. If they're chaotic, they might well be Slaadi. If they take fourth year Undercommon, they take the hell out of fourth year Undercommon. For this reason, Maddie won't allow them on any committee where they might out-School Spirit her. That's good, really good. :D Rilkan: "But it wasn't supposed to come off! It was scales, not a rash! I came in here for a volleyball physical!" --Tarrenta Willet, 3rd year rilkan bard and infirmary victim Funny. Skarn: "No, that's my roommate Lidda. She was trying to backstab you. If you don't mind, I'd like to just leave her impaled there for a little while." --Naull, to Stergan, freshman skarn incarnate Hilarious man. Duskling: "Fey, huh? Like Sylphs or Nymphs or Dryads. Yeah, that sounds... Oh, my gods, what the hell is that?" --Regdar, first and last blind date The Best of the Best. :D
Decree Of Boredom 11-05-05, 11:22 PM	Hilarity. Zenra's going to have to use some of these races in the future.
Quenditar 12-01-05, 12:19 PM	:bump:
captainswift 12-19-05, 09:52 PM	Magic of Eberron (with some language cleaned up to pass the board CoC): Daelkyr Half-Blood: "Okay, this crap all over your body, I don't care if you want to call them symbionts, 'kay? I'm just saying, bathe." --Mialee, 5th year elf wizard Psiforged: "So, this new guy, Krilg, he's a warforged." --Regdar, 5th year human fighter. "No, he's a psiforged." --Krusk, 4th year half-orc barbarian. "So he's a Psion?" --Regdar. "No, he's a fighter." --Krusk. "So Psiforged can be warriors?" --Regdar. "Yeah." --Krusk. "But Warforged can't be Psions." --Regdar. "No, Warforged can be Psions." --Krusk. "Warforged can be psions, and Psiforged can be warriors?" --Regdar. "Absolutely" --Krusk. "So... what the frick?" --Regdar.
Joni-san 12-21-05, 03:35 PM	Ok, the Psiforged one was especially funny :D
Golem011 12-24-05, 09:31 AM	Tip of the hat to you, this was really funny. Are you adding any other Homebrew races?
captainswift 12-24-05, 12:59 PM	Tip of the hat to you, this was really funny. Are you adding any other Homebrew races? I've done homebrewed races mostly by request, so if someone's got a homebrew race you want me to tackle, I'll give it a go. I still owe the planetouched races, too. I'll have to remember to do that...
Deekin 12-24-05, 01:40 PM	How about the following: Bariaur, Bladeling, Chaond, Khaasta, Modron Outcast, Nathri, Shad, Tuladhara, Zenythri Modron Outcast: "3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419 7169399375105820974944592307816406286208 9986280348253421170679 8214808651328230664709384460955058223172 5359408128481117450284102701938521105559 64462294895493038196 4288109756659334461284756482337867831652 7120190914564856692346034861045432664821 3393607260249141273 7245870066063155881748815209209628292540 9171536436789259036001133053054882046652 13841469519415116094 3305727036575959195309218611738193261179 3105118548074462379962749567351885752724 89122793818301194912 ..." Alpha, Modron Outcast, when asked for the vaule of pi.
captainswift 12-29-05, 03:46 PM	Okay, here's Champions of Ruin: Extaminaar: Always scheming, always trying to create some advantage, eternally opportunistic. Are the Player Characters in the Sigil Prep campaign. Oh, and Extaminaar are snake people. Krinth: Created as slaves in the City of Shade, back on Faerun. The smartest and most loyal of them enjoy higher social status than any but the Shades themselves. The strongest and dumbest make up Shadovar's defensive line. They can't be shaken, so they remain the only defensive line that has never actually turned and run from Krusk when he has the ball Draegloth (6 HD +4 LA): "So then I said, 'Why don't you summon a demon and mate with it?' And she did! And then, I was all, well, that's my servant, there, that ugly stunted-armed freak, so worship it. And they did! My followers are so damned stupid... Wait, this is off the record, right?" --Lolth, Queen of the Demonweb Pits ((And I'll try and get those Planescape races Saturday, Deekin))
Golem011 12-29-05, 05:57 PM	Okay, can you do my Skerrotians please? Skerrotians. (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=7881629)
captainswift 12-29-05, 06:37 PM	Okay, can you do my Skerrotians please? Skerrotians. (http://boards1.wizards.com/showpost.php?p=7881629) Wow. Wicked nasty critter, there, Golem. Great, great idea. Also a thinker. (Truthfully, if it were in a book, with other races that I'd do at the same time, I'd probably just do a quickie about some Indiana Jones-type character and "Why did it have to be snakes?" But I can't just do filler for a request; so let's see...) Urm... Skerrotian: "Really disturbing date, that guy. Not just the way he looks, but we were slow-dancing, and there's a snake pressing against me. And another. And another... Hey, Mialee, where are you going?" --Naull, possibly a bit too sensible for her crowd
Golem011 12-30-05, 04:47 AM	Ooh, that had me laughing for ages... thanks for that, and I know what you mean by wicked nasty... I wonder what you'd put for some of my other races...
Nurgan_the_drunked 12-30-05, 07:26 AM	Modrons: "It worries me that Alpha73619305bf9 is always late for my classes and always hads assignments in at the last minute. But it's truly alarming that he's always exactly four minutes and thirty-six seconds late. I've since learned not to ask 'What time do you call this?' if I want to teach that period." - Professor 'call me Raist' Raistlin Grell: "He may look like something the pseudobiology students put together as a prank, but he's got a good head on his shou-, I mean he's got an eye for det-, I mean he keeps his ears open in- I mean he's a good student, generally"- Alchemy teacher. EDIT: can't believe I forgot to give you Kudos for the thread, and declare what a cool game this'd be.
captainswift 12-31-05, 12:37 PM	I :clap: your work here, but I have just one question? How about the Bariaur, Bladeling, Chaond, Khaasta, Modron Outcast, Nathri, Shad, Tuladhara, and Zenythri? They are all Planeswalker Races (http://www.planewalker.com/products/files/chapter2.pdf) and this is Supossed to be Sigil Prep, right? :bigeyes: Okay, so only seven months later, here we go (Baurier is already done, see www.sigilprep.com/outsiders.htm (http://www.sigilprep.com/outsiders.htm) ) Bladeling: "Yeah, Kraz was always a cut-up... haha... no, really, he was a good student. Real sharp... no, really... No, I got another one. Uh, Friendly guy, sword of... No, get it, 'sword of', like 'sort of' but..." --Gimbel, former gnome bard, now in easy pieces Chaond: Touched by chaos itself, many chaonds throw darts at the course catalog and sign up for whatever classes they hit. Which doesn't matter, because they go to whatever class they want on any given day. Often at another school. Khaasta: "Yes, Roper, is it? I wish to attend your fine school. How much will you pay me to do so? I'm afraid you don't understand, I'm a progenitor race, and superior to you in every aspect. I can't imagine you wouldn't be willing to give me 1000 gp a week to stay here. I'll be taking my own room, so... urpl..." --"Breakfast", 1st year khaasta meal Outcast Modron: "I found your filing system inefficient, so I arranged the books completely alphabetically by title, though this, too, led to a cluttered appearance, so I rearranged them by size and volume, which made the card catalog inaccurate, so I disposed of it and created a multi-cross-referenced inventory system that occupies the twentieth and twenty-first floors. It was a pleasant shift, Mr. Elminster, and I shall return to your library tomorrow." --3x2(9yz)4a, 2nd year Outcast Modron Monk, on study hall Nathri: "And his name is Akhmet, and he's got this poison, and he's my new best friend who follows me around. Well, next to you, Naull... Naull?" --Lidda, one sneak attack too many Shad: Despite being devotees of nature, they are largely disliked by everyone. Most days they aren't even noticed. Loppdil can have his hand up all period and never get called on. And he knows the answer. He does! Tuladhara: "You call this school 'equal opportunity'!? Why, all your football players are good at football! You have to have an equal number of bad players! And why do only smart kids get good grades? Shouldn't Maddie be entitled to an 'F', and Regdar get an 'A'? And this Druid Grove! All the plants are alive! All the professors are powerful, and knowledgable. There's not even a hint of balance there! I'm starting a petition, and I want some of you to sign it, and some of you not to sign it and... no, some of you do need to sign it... no, no! You can't all not sign it, or..." --P'lin Drom, 1st Tuladhara Fighter/Wizard/Rogue/Cleric Zenythri: "Yes, Professor Raistlin? I just finished reading the Student Handbook from 1220, and it states, in bylaw 12, paragraph 3, that no professor can extend the class period by more than three minutes. And although this isn't mentioned in the current Handbook, it has not been contradicted or retracted in any subsequent edition. I just thought I'd poin that out, because it's been four minutes and seventeen seconds since the alloted time for your lecture..." --Rissenn, 1st year Zenythri wizard on his first day of class
Deekin 12-31-05, 12:48 PM	Does happy dance! :dancin: Thanks :bow:
Manyfist 01-01-06, 04:57 AM	Grey Jester (Fey) "For a Jester, he isn't funny you know?" Krusk, experiencing the lost of joyment from "Chuckles" the Grey Jester.
DoombreedTrollsan 01-30-06, 05:29 AM	Absolutely awesome! It was like Harry Potter meets D&D with enough uniqueness to stand apart from both. I can just picture my Artificer/Masterworker reminscing about "the good old days" at the Academy. Even if he was a terrible Wizard and ended up failing his first pre-Wizard class. And became an Artificer instead. Then wound up graduating school only to be mentored by a nut who replaced my characters arm with a Warforged arm when it was severed by a gnoll. Anyway, very awesome. I'd love to see some more in-depth stuff, like class schedules for the different classes of the D&D cosmologies. Still, this alone is just brilliant.
captainswift 02-04-06, 02:45 PM	Thank you, Doombreed, and others. Hopefully I can scrap up the scratch for Races of the Dragon soon. It's just asking for the Sigil Prep treatment.
SilvercatMoonpaw 02-04-06, 05:22 PM	:blink: :OMG!: :heehee: :tiphat: :weep: I'm so happy. The Colors are with you! I have always loved humor, and D&D humor is always the best. This should be a novel series, or a TV show. I only read like 3, and already I want you to have a Mirror award (given for those who hold a mirror up to something, and find that it's cracked ;) ).
Golem011 02-04-06, 05:26 PM	Thank you, Doombreed, and others. Hopefully I can scrap up the scratch for Races of the Dragon soon. It's just asking for the Sigil Prep treatment. Hooray!
SilvercatMoonpaw 02-04-06, 07:50 PM	How about MOnte Cook's races? Giants, littorians, faen (two types) sprytes, sibeccai, mojh and now dracha. ==Aelryinth Hu-Charad: "That football exchange student from Diamond Throne has a ritual for everything……and I meen EVERYTHING."—Mialee Sibbecai: "You know, the whole 'Boss' thing is what I'm all about. But, you know, it's no fun if you just have to say you'e a giant."—2nd year ogre mage Mojh: "Wait…you're a humanoid with a bit of dragon in you and you're really good at being a spellcaster? Hey! That's my schtik!"—Sjach, 4th year spellscale wizard Tenebrian Seeds: "Of course those things would be a controlled substance. *Sigh*"—Coach Klank, after seeing Evolved Hu-Charad playing a pick-up game Sorry if these lack the wit of Captainswift. *Update* Oh man, this was just too good not to post: Magisters: "If they loose their staffs, they become powerless. Yeah, I've had guys like that."—Mialee Quicklings: "Why are you coming to me? Quicklings? You mean those halfling wannabes? What? Oh, you think I'm going to say something funny about them being 'quick', is that it?"—you-know-who
Cooked_Auto 02-05-06, 06:48 AM	Excellent work. :clap: I couldnt help laughing almost every time. And that would be a school I'd definatley want to go to. The same goes for the classes part. Excellent work from all the contributors. And if you dont mind I took the tiefling entry as part of my sig. As it's just that good. ;)
captainswift 02-05-06, 12:37 PM	And thanks to Silvercat for picking up the slack there, too. I only have the WotC D&D books, so I didn't have access to those races.
DeeL 02-05-06, 04:29 PM	I wait for the post on spellscales with bated breath. Hate those guys.
SilvercatMoonpaw 02-05-06, 05:58 PM	Spellscales: "So they look like elves, are great spellcasters like elves, and are flighty like elves. Yet they don't train with weapons, they aren't immune to sleep, they have worse senses, and don't live as long. Man, they got gipped."—Krusk, the ever-insightful :D
captainswift 03-16-06, 10:34 PM	One, singular creature from Tome of Magic with Character Race break-downs: Karsite (+2 LA): "Fools! Your magic merely heals me!" Crack "Okay, the mace is cheating." --Delphanos, 2nd place in intramural mage dueling
Deekin 04-12-06, 12:48 AM	ComPsi is out, and that has the Synad in it. I cannot think of anything witty to say about a guy with 3 minds
SilvercatMoonpaw 04-12-06, 08:26 AM	ComPsi is out, and that has the Synad in it. I cannot think of anything witty to say about a guy with 3 minds "The administration were at first concerned with the effect three minds would have on a student. However, after a survey of the student body they realized that what with mind control, arcane experiements, drugs, and prep-school life, someone with three minds was perfectly sane."
Joni-san 04-13-06, 08:34 PM	Dragonwrought Kobolds: "Hey Guys, look at me! Whee!" - Tux, 3'rd year Dragonwrought Kobold Sorcerer, jumping from a tall building "Kobold go splat. OUCH! WHAT WAS THAT!" - Redgar, iconic fool, hit in the face by large object "My wings" - Tux, safely on the ground. Hmmm... Somehow it didn't come out right, oh well :)
captainswift 04-14-06, 11:43 AM	After some delay, "Races of the Dragon": Draconic/Half-Dragon (+1 to +4): "Thing is, I didn't even realize I was progressing in the half-dragon monster progression. Y'know, until I was spitting off the top of the library, and burned a hole in a freshman." --Tarb'osh, third year half-black dragon fighter Dragonborn: "It was supposed to be a pact, y'know. Like tattoos or piercings. I was really ****** when Mialee, Regdar, Lidda, and Tordek pulled their rubber masks off." --Soveliss, recently converted Dragonborn Sorcerer Spellscale: "Spellscales may be mistaken for half-dragons, my ass! A half-dragon wouldn't be caught dead wearing that." --Tarb'osh, third year half-dragon fighter, and fashion critic
The Almighty Dru 04-14-06, 12:51 PM	Dragonborn: "It was supposed to be a pact, y'know. Like tattoos or piercings. I was really ****** when Mialee, Regdar, Lidda, and Tordek pulled their rubber masks off." --Soveliss, recently converted Dragonborn Sorcerer Soveliss is the iconic ranger though, isn't he? Or did he multiclass into sorcerer at Sigil Prep? If not, I'm thinking you probably mean Hennet or Aramil. Anyway, good stuff. Keep it coming. :)
captainswift 04-14-06, 02:33 PM	Yep, I meant Hennet. Oops.
captainswift 04-19-06, 02:00 PM	One measly race from Complete Psionic: Synad: "A quote on Synads? Well, I'm of three minds on the subject. Gah! Hahahaha! Get it? Three minds, and they have... Hahahahahaha!!! Oh my Garl, I kill me, *snort*" --Gimble (we really need to quite interviewing him
Zemyla 11-08-06, 12:52 PM	A bump and an addition. Redspawn Arcaniss - "Today, we'll be learning about fire. I realize I taught you about fire yesterday..." Veskurabilx, seriously obsessed redspawn arcaniss teacher
FreAkOuTRG 11-08-06, 09:59 PM	Halfling pwnz you. Halfling hater. Just kidding. Have a :cookie::evillaugh
captainswift 02-17-07, 11:45 AM	Bumping for Lord Gareth
Deekin 02-19-07, 04:20 PM	There is a new race in Secrets of Sarlona. Half-(Half-Ogre)/Half-(Half-Giant).
Joni-san 02-19-07, 05:56 PM	The name is Eneko.
captainswift 02-19-07, 06:21 PM	There is a new race in Secrets of Sarlona. Half-(Half-Ogre)/Half-(Half-Giant). Sometimes the material just writes itself.
Lord_Gareth 06-06-07, 08:35 PM	Sorry about taking so long to find this, you wouldn't BELIEVE how fast this forum moves. However, like I said earlier, I have a custom race I wanted you to mess with. You'll find the stats down below this quick cultural rundown - Dra'Konites Dra'Konites are a race of half-elf, half-dragons hailing from the world of Dreavarr - where they are considered sins against nature and hunted for sport. The world of Dreavarr is very much divided on race, and with the exception of the Free City of Kralis, being a Dra'Konite is a death sentence. Despite this, Dra'Konites are generally a cheery, easygoing lot when it comes to life and its problems. Dra'Konites are a seperate race that breeds true, but every now and then one is born when an elf mates with a dragon. They are inherantly diplomatic and peaceful - Dra'Konites would rather break up a fight than start one. However, get one angry and you find out just how much that dragon blood can help them. Dra'Konites tend to be wildly creative and chaotic people. A Dra'Konite is not considered an adult by his people until attaining full flight (which is frightening, when you think about it. Only adults are allowed to be soldiers, so every single Dra'Konite warrior in their army is at least level 10). Racial Features: +2 Dex, +2 Cha, -2 Con, -2 Wis Medium: As medium creatures, Dra'Konites have no bonus or penalty associated with their size Humanoid Claws: Dra'Konite nails are roughly an inch long, very hard, and vry sharp, resulting in 1d4 slashing claws. Dra'Knite claws do not need trimming once they attain one inch in length, and if they lose their claws, a week or a Regenaration spell to re-grow. Until then, the claws cease to be effective. +2 to saving throws versus cold-based attacks and enviornments: Dra'Konites have a pulse that puts rats to shame. Darkvision 60 -or- Low-Light vision (player's choice): Dra'Konites have inherited the senses of their dragon and elven heritages, but individual Dra'Konites lean towards one or the other. Moody Eyes: Dra'Konites gain a +2 bonus on Diplomacy checks and a -4 penalty on Bluff checks. They have a conditional -2 penalty on Intimidate checks (this penalty applies only if the Dra'Konite isn't really angry or doesn't really want to strong-arm the victim of the check). Dra'Konite eye color changes in accordance to their emotions; they literally show every feeling on their face. Limited Flight: Gliding (Ex): A Dra'Konite can use her wings to glide, negating damage from a fall of any height and allowing 20 feet of forward travel for every 5 feet of descent. Dra'Konites glide at a speed of 40 feet (average maneuverability). Even if a Dra'Konite's maneuverability improves, she can't hover while gliding. A Dra'Konite can't glide while carrying a medium or heavy load. If a Dra'Konite becomes unconscious or helpless while in midair, her wings naturally unfurl and powerful ligaments stiffen the wings. The Dra'Konite descends in a tight corkscrew and takes only 1d6 points of falling damage, no matter what the actual distance of the fall. Flight (Ex): When a Dra'Konite reaches 5 Hit Dice, she becomes able to fly at a speed of 40 feet (average maneuverability). A Dra'Konite can't fly while carrying a medium or heavy load or while fatigued or exhausted. Dra'Konites can safely fly for a number of rounds equal to their Constitution modifier (minimum 1 round). They can exert themselves to fly for up to twice as long, but then they're fatigued at the end of the flight. Dra'Konites are likewise fatigued after spending a total of more than 10 minutes per day flying. Because Dra'Konites can glide before, after, and between rounds of actual flight, they can remain aloft for extended periods (even if they can only use flight for 1 round at a time without becoming fatigued). When they reach 10 Hit Dice, Dra'Konites have enough stamina and prowess to fly for longer periods. They can fly at a speed of 40 feet (average maneuverability), and flying requires no more exertion than walking or running. A Dra'Konite with flight can make a dive attack. A dive attack works like a charge, but the Dra'Konite must move a minimum of 30 feet and descend at least 10 feet. A Dra'Konite can make a dive attack only when wielding a piercing weapon; if the attack hits, it deals double damage. A Dra'Konite with flight can use the run action while flying, provided she flies in a straight line. Languages: Dra'Konites speak Common, Elven, and Draconic. They also have a semi-secret language called Drank, which is a wild mixture of the other three languages they speak. A non-Dra'Konite (or a person who hasn't lived with Dra'Konites for ten or more years) must be able to speak Common, Elven, and Draconic in order to learn Drank, and even then must make a Speak Language check (DC 25) to completely understand it. Favored Class: Sorcerer. Dra'Konites are inherantly magical and many follow the Sorcerer's path.
Jessica_Morgan 07-04-07, 09:48 PM	:bump:ity :bump: :bump: :bump:
Warforged Goblin 07-05-07, 10:26 AM	This is too friggin funny. Now for some additions: Rhek (Book of Exalted Deeds): "I thought Tarrak was all about law and goodness until I walked in on him 'smiting' Kailey. That rhino-headed hypocrite can become a blackguard for all I care..." - Merrick, sulking aasimar paladin Diabolous (Dragon Compendium): "The 'brooding outsider' thing was kind of a turn on and that tail thing Hu'Dex did was nice and all, but I've had better..." - Mialee, 5th level wizard/epic level sloot Dvati (Dragon Compendium): "I've dated a dvati girl once or twice. Man, things are great when they like you, but when it goes sour, it's two-times the trouble. The Nine Hells have no fury like TWO women scorned..." - Redgar, realizing there's sometimes two-much of a good thing Tibbit (Dragon Compendium): "I really don't think it's fair that Purley was even allowed in Prof Mordenkainen's 'Intro into Familiars' class, let alone her acing every test. I mean, if I could turn into a cat and talk to my familiar I'd pass every test too!" - Nebin, annoyed gnome wizard freshman Saurian Shifter (Dragon Magazine 328): "Oh no! I learned my lesson the first time, and that kid only had a were-rat in his family tree! I ain't messin with the great-grandson of a were-tyranno-ceratops-aurus!" - Krusk, slightly wiser, yet no more intelligent Varag (Monster Manual IV): "Man, we just give the ball to ol' Skorr'Uch and he takes it to the end zone. Of course we've had a record number of penalties for him 'marking' his tackles..." - Coach Clank Vril (Drow of the Underdark): "Wow, and I thought I was a screamer... Every now and then those drow come up with a decent idea, and T'cheeee is no exception." - Lidda, halfling sophomore Blackscale Lizardfolk (Monster Manual III): "Ugh, the Chultan Thunderlizards have a trio of these guys on their defensive line. Moradin's adamantine boxers, I'm sore after those games..." - Tordek, dwarven reciever for the Sigil Planeswalkers Grippli (Dragon Magazine 324): "Sure, we can't spray the dromite dorms, but ever since we offered Kyrrmit extra credit to take care of the roach problem, we haven't heard a single complaint in months!" - Shemeska the Marauder, Dean of Sigil Prep Harssaf (Monster Manual III): "I don't feel that bad about dumping her. Word is, she starting dating Al'sizaash, that harssaf dude. Heh, he can become sand and she swims through it... knowing her he better be happy he's got Fast Healing!" - Redgar, always a gentleman Lupin (Dragon Compendium): "Yeah, they're party animals all right, but man do they get twitchy when I'm around. Kinda cute in that 'I'm stuck shifting' kind of way..." - Baristi, shifter wizard freshman Azerblood (Dragon Magazine 350): "...and then, after they took the bunsen burners away from the 'anderthals, they started worshipping Kore Redanvil cuz of his hair!" - Hennet, sorcerer and amused alchemy student Celadrin (Dragon Magazine 350): "I don't care how 'hot' she is, the last thing we need on this cheer-squad is another elven subrace! Not only that, that whole 'descended from Good' thing gets on my nerves..." - Maddie, drow cheerleader captain D'hin'ni (Dragon Magazine 350): "Til'daresh is such an... exotic halfling... that, and prestidigitation tickles..." - Lidda, halfling... village bicycle Worghest (Dragon Magazine 350): "Skorr'Uch was happy when said he was dating a dog of a goblin. Man, he wasn't kiddin! And have you seen her eat? Puts me to shame!" - Krusk Cactacae (Dragon Magazine 352): "Kinda big, kinda dumb, but my kinda guy. Snuggling's a pain though..." - Vadania, pin-cushion druid Khepri (Dragon Magazine 352): "Man, she's a got a smokin' body, but her face..." 'Dude, her face is a ROACH!' "Yeah... It was great watching Kyrrmit try to attack her. Huzzah wardrobe malfunction!" - Redgar and Tordek, discussing yesterday's commons commotion. Vodyanoi (Dragon Magazine 352): "Tugg got disqualified from the swim meet. Granted, shaping the water away from the aquatic elves is a sound tactic, unless you've got aquatic elf judges..." - Coach Clank, lamenting yesterday Planeswalkers' loss Garuda (Dragon Magazine 352): "I remember when being able to fly was unique. Now, every flippin material plane has some race flyin around, and they all clog up the air-space here..." - Fffffft, air elemental senior Reamade (Dragon Magazine 352): "Bah, I've seen better... Not only that kid, I'm pretty sure 'steam-powered' wheels aren't allowed on the track team." - Coach Clank to a remade trying out for the long distance runner team And, for descriptions for most of them www.crystalkeep.com Look at the "Races" pdf
Manyfist 07-05-07, 07:37 PM	Blackscale Lizardfolk (4HD LA:+3) "Helga has been known for her temper at times. However when one Blackscale decided to skip in line one day, well... lets just say the custodians are still scraping him off the ceiling." Anonymous Freshmen Poisondusk "Blackscales thought they're tough guys on campus, even the Sigil High football star Krusk gave these guys headway. However with the incident in the lunchroom a few years ago, all Blackscales volunteer to work for Helga. Where ever Helga goes, the Blackscales follow her like lovesick puppies! Helga's popularity grew so much she was promoted to head lunch lady, and even has a Club in her name. Anyone strong enough was welcomed, all they had to do was battle the lunch lady, if they survive they're in. Needless to say a few haven't been so lucky." Puck, Senor Doppleganger Archivist.
RandomAction 11-26-07, 12:45 AM	OMFG! Just found this thread. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Please keep up the good work. Also, is there a game for this and can I join?
The_Shaman 11-26-07, 02:51 PM	I know they've been done... but let's see what comes up: Volodni (LA +2): "I heard Lidda broke two daggers trying to stab Anja, and even on the third try she barely felt it. I wonder, do they take associate members - Treant devotees, Plantblessed, that kind of stuff?" Naull, open-minded by necessity " Oh, Yevgen? He was cool, nice, and, oh, quite solid, y'know. But the first time I caught him shaving over at my place did it. I had to clean those shavings for, like, days! *Sighs* You know how, like, it's the little things that spoil stuff." Mialee, reminiscing of her second year. Taer (2 HD, LA +1): "It's such a pity. They're quite fit - underneath all that fur - and have a great team spirit. Plus, when a taer has the ball, everyone stays out of the way. But whenever one of the new taer students tries to make the sports team, they're always given the cold shoulder." Klank, warforged coach. "Yeah, man, as if. Sure, they can look good on the field, but you know why no one wants to tackle them? Two words: stench grease. Yeah, now imagine what it's like having one in the locker room. When Vulg was on the team, even Krusk would tell him to take a bath." Redgar, 4th year fighter. "Hey, I miss Vulg. There's something strangely endearing in seeing someone try to break every bone in your body in a screaming fury at a moment's notice, and then go back to "Hey, d'ya know what we had to do for professor Meleager's class" when he's done. Plus, his impersonation of Mitra's astral construct was priceless." Krusk, 4th year
captainswift 11-26-07, 09:12 PM	OMFG! Just found this thread. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Please keep up the good work. Also, is there a game for this and can I join? Well, my game (http://plothook.net/RPG/forumdisplay.php?f=178), upon which the specific references on my website (http://www.sigilprep.com) is based, is the "official" one, but I've seen others pop up from time to time on other web sites. Oh, and if you haven't found it, here's another thread I started, with the Classes (http://forums.gleemax.com/showthread.php?t=419361) of Sigil Prep. Unfortunately, I have waaaaaay too many players over thataway already.
Slash_Z 11-27-07, 08:53 AM	:rofl: This thread wins teh internets!
captainswift 12-13-07, 02:05 PM	Here, also is something (http://www.sigilprep.com/OMG!WTF!4e.htm). If you frequent my site, you may have read that top part, but scroll down to the break and start with the purple text.
obscidiandragon 12-30-07, 04:32 AM	This is great. i especially liked the Eberron bit.
sigma999 12-30-07, 06:00 AM	Like, OMG. :rolleyes:
syrazemyla 01-20-08, 07:26 PM	Petals (MM3) "Every time I go to the petal choir, I fall asleep. I must need more caffeine..." Regdar
The_Shaman 01-20-08, 08:48 PM	Hm, I checked the 4E text and it was pretty promising. It got me thinking about paladins, really. Now, I'm not too familiar with FR, but there were one or two near-epic to epic paladins there.. But with two of the Seven as likely deans, and that spellfire channeler as the big-shot sorceress, it does feel like Realms bias. Still, if anyone has more info on Gareth Dragonbane and thinks he can make a good representative of the paladin milleau, let me know. That guy was last statted as a lvl 20 paladin/ 5 cleric. Youchie. Oh, and he's a king to boot. Other notables are what I call the Waterdeep trio: Hammer Lord Hykros Alumen (20) of Waterdeep, Laharin Goldbeard (20) again of Waterdeep, Piergeiron the Paladinson (15 or 17, depending on source) yet again of Waterdeep. It seems to me that either the book designer was one heck of a Waterdeep fan, or the city was planned as a uber-bastion of goodness. My honorary mention goes to Azhaq (9), who apart from his lowish level happens to be a Silver Dragon and leader of the Talons of Justice, so we can cut him some slack. P.S.: please, don't have Drizzt as anything near an iconic ranger. He might be a great warrior and all that, but as a ranger he's nothing that great - by the current timeline he's spent much more time training as a fighter than learning the ways of the ranger.
captainswift 01-20-08, 09:19 PM	As it stands, I think I'll be looking to Eberron for both my paladin and my druid. Eberron needs the love. There's an awakened tree druid in Eberron that I think'll be neat as a dean, and to me, the Silver Flame has really become the iconic source for iconic Paladin stick-up-the-buttery. For the road: Catgirl (various homebrews): "For Host's sake, people, every time you introduce a cat girl to D&D, the gods kill a scientist!" --Roxy d'Cannith, 2nd year human artificer.
The_Shaman 01-21-08, 04:13 AM	Sure. As I said, I simply don't know that much about Eberron NPCs.