Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Kezarim 02-02-07, 08:38 PM	I proudly introduce: One of our homebrew races, the Lun'rak'tar. (I'm afraid my English isn't that good, it's not my mother language ^_^) Edit #1: Added "Ronin" background, changed shaman background due to balancing. Lithiriel covered deeper into the snow. He had followed the deer for almost four hours now. The winter was hard, and it was hard to find any food at all. He indeed was lucky to have found some prey. And he surely didn't want to let this deer get away. It would save him and his family for at least two weeks. He was even more lucky that he had left the lords part of the forest two hours ago, and was now allowed to kill it without paying taxes for it. He tried to concentrate. Focus on the arrow, he thought, then breathe in. Pull. Aim. Concentrate. Breathe out. Aim again. Stay calm. The deer lifted it's head. It must have heard something. Lithiriel knew this was his last chance. The area was full of kobolds, gnolls, wolves and other creatures, which were all suffering from the snow and the lack of food. It was just too dangerous to go deeper into the woods. He let his arrow fly - and missed. The deer dashed forward, long before Lithiriel had taken the next arrow from his quiver. His last one. He never came to use it. Something hit him in his back hard, and he was pushed forward, into the snow. Waves of pain went thorugh his body, little stars began to dance in front of his eyes. He felt something warm running down his back, right where the weapon had hit him. He turned around, and tried to reach for his dagger. There was a gnoll in front of him, wielding a fierce looking flail. Blood dripped from the weapon and left red sprinkles in the snow. His blood. His attacker hissed and grinned. He lifted his weapon for a final blow, and Lithiriel closed his eyes. This was it - he'd die now. He heard the gnoll saying something, then some metallic sound. The anticipated blow and the pain did not come. Nothing came to crush his skull. Nobody tried to eat him alive. When he opened his eyes again, he saw the gnoll stand in front of him. The creature stared at the tip of the weapon that had pierced his chest from behind. When if fell to it's knees, the weapon was pulled out, making a ripping sound as it cut through flesh and bones alike. Lithiriel sighed. He was saved. Then he saw the creature that had slain his attacker. It looked like a large werewolf, with long, fierce claws. It grinned, and licked the blood from his weapon. It had long, sharp teeth, and strongly pronounced canines. The full plate armor made clinging sounds as it moved closer. Lithiriel reached for his dagger again. If he had to die - at least he would not let himself be bitten by a were creature. Death was a merciful destiny when compared to that of a werewolf. But his wound slowed him down, and the creature was fast. It grabbed Lithiriels hand before he could unsheath his weapon. 'You won't need that anymore. come - i will bring you home', it said in a deep voice, and pulled him to his feet. 'My name is Arakis Shadowpaw. You were lucky me and my pack passed by. Those foul gnolls eat their prey alive, you know', he said and grinned. Lithiriel was not really sure if the wolf had any other destiny for him in mind - but he was safe for the moment. He found this to be the right moment to pass out. Personality Physical Description: A Lun'rak'tar is a werewolf-like creature. It's body is covered with brown to grey fur, sometimes with black or white markings. Very few have all white or black fur, although paws and muzzles are often of one of those colors. It stands 2,9-3,8 meters tall. It's hind legs are canine, with large paws to provide a basis for their massive, muscle-packed bodies. They have a canine head. Their canines are pronounced, and are often so long that you can see the upper pair even when their mouths are closed. Their arms end in human-like hands with long, sharp claws. They tend to wear heavy armor, often decorated with remains of past prey or slain foes. (like skulls or bones, pieces of skin, dried eyes...) They prefer "natural" colors like brown or green for clothing, and functionality is usually more important then style. Age and Genders: A male Lun'rak'tar reaches adulthood at the age of 14, females about a year later. Both genders are the same size (2,9-3,8 meters) and weight (800-1600 lbs), and since the females have canine breasts (which are almost not visible, while covered by fur), it's very hard for non-Lun'rak'tar to distinguish both genders, even if they are naked. A Lun'rak'tar lives for about 40 years before dying of old age. A Lun'rak'tar never leaves his pack before the rite of adulthood, so Lun'rak'tar who decide to live their lifes as lone adventurers are usually 14-16 years old. Relations: Lun'rak'tar live in packs of 5-40 members, including 2-6 cubs. Lun'rak'tar are naturally suspicious of most other species. Although they are friendly and helpful, they take a long time to trust a non-pack-member. But, once they accepted somebody as a pack member, they will die to protect them. They have no prejudice to most other species, except the following: Gnolls: Lun'rak'tar hate gnolls. They are seen as unnecessary competition for food and territory, and slaughtered whereever encountered. Since Lun'rak'tar are larger and stronger, they can even fight much larger bands of gnolls, and will do so. But they will back out of a fight if they see they cannot win, and will avoid combat, if there is no chance to win at all. Lycanthrophes: Lun'rak'tar are Lycan offspring. A long time ago, a tribe of lycanthrophes gave up their lives as half-humans and wandered off into the wilderness to fully embrace their canine heritage. Some day they completely forgot about their human self, and eventually lost their shapeshifitng abilities. Today, these pack has evolved into a whole race: the Lun'rak'tar. It's not surprising that the Lun'rak'tar have good relationships with their "little brothers" as they call them. Often Lun'rak'tar packs have lycanthrophe members, which function as traders and scouts in their human forms. Lun'rak'tar do especially like werewolves and natural lycanthrophes. Afflicted weres are percieved as "unpure breeds", and although not hated they are only regarded ordinary creatures. Drow: the "dark ones" often enslave Lun'rak'tar, and magically compel them to serve as war beasts and mounts. Of course, the Lun'rak'tar are not happy with this. Not at all. Although their hate for drow is strong, they don't attack them on sight. They know they can't follow them into the tunnels and caves beneath the earth, and so they wait for better opportunities to kill as many of them as possible - while they are on the surface, where Lun'rak'tar can bring their size into battle. It seldom happens that a drow and a Lun'rak'tar make friends, and even then is it never a strong bond. Kobold: The little dragons can be very helpful for the Lun'rak'tar. They are small and keen creatures, and mine almost as hard for iron and valuable materials as dwarves do. The Lun'rak'tar established relationships to local kobold tribes since the beginning of their race, and their codex prohibits fighting these creatures. Instead, they usually have good trade relations with them, trading food, fur and protection against weapons, armor and tools. Due to the Lun'rak'tars nomadic lifestyle they can help the kobolds trade their goods with nearby human settlements, and get exotic goods for them. Alignment: Lun'rak'tar value the moral codex of their pack, and would never willingly violate them. A pack is only caring for itself, and less for others, though they try not to get into conflict with others when choosing a territory. They are usually lawful, even though some Lun'rak'tar, mostly those who choose a life as adventurer, could be described as chaotic. Depending on the pack they were born in, a Lun'rak'tar can be of neutral or good, seldom of evil alignment. Religion: Lun'rak'tar worship deities of nature like Obad-Hai, but they also worship gods of strength, war and death, depending on the pack's codex. Language : Lun'rak'tar speak Lupine and Common. Bonus languages are Feline, Elven, Goblinoid, Draconic and Orc. Names: Lun'rak'tar have names consisting of two parts: their individual name and their pack name. The pack name is a common name all members of a pack share. It's also the name of the pack itself. Pack names could be: Iron Fang, Shadowpaw, bloodmoon, darkwood etc.. First names are usually short, and can vary strongly in style, depending on the pack. Sometimes they have a more elven-like pronounciation, sometimes they are taken from Draconic. Lun'rak'tar have problems with "b" "p", "th", and all sounds which humans make with their lips alone, and avoid these in their names. Adventure: Lun'rak'tar, once passing the rite of adulthood, can freely choose to leave their pack whenever they wish. Many young Lun'rak'tar do this for a while, and then decide whether to return or start their own pack. The reasons for this are many: 'getting around', finding a mate from outside the pack, or plainly because they enjoy traveling. Some Lun'rak'tar even decide to stay alone, may it be of own will or because they cannot or have not yet found other members of their own species. They are then usually searching for a "replacement pack" consisting of members of other races. Racial Traits: Lun'rak'tar posses the following racial traits: +6 STR, -2 DEX, +4 CON, -2 INT, +2 WIS. Lun'rak'tar lived in the wilderness for centuries, making them strong and resilient, but they lack dexterity and intelligence. -Size Large. -1 penalty to Armor Class and attack rolls, -4 penalty to hide checks, +4 bonus on grapple checks, lifting and carrying limits double those of a medium creature. -Space/Reach: 10ft/10ft. -A Lun'rak'tars land speed is 30ft. Digitigrade legs aren't made for great speeds when bipedal. -Darkvision out to 60 ft. -Racial Hit Dice: A Lun'rak'tar begins with four level of monstrous humanoid, giving it 4D8 Hitpoints, a Base Attack Bonus of +4, and saving throw bonuses of: Fortitude +1, Reflex +4, Will +4. -Racial Skills: a Lun'rak'tar recieves skill points equal to 7x (2 + INT modifier). It's racial class skills are: Climb, Spot, Listen and Intimidate. -Racial Feats: a Lun'rak'tar's racial hit dice give it 2 feats. -Special Attacks: Terrifying Roar (Su) -Special Qualities: Damage Reduction: 5/Silver -Weapon and Armor Proficiencies: a Lun'rak'tar is automatically proficient with all simple weapons, and light armor, but not with shields. (But see below) -+5 Natural Armor bonus -Natural Weapons: 2 Claws (1D6), secondary bite attack (1D8). (But see below) -Automatic Language: Lun'rak'tar speak Lupine and Common. Bonus languages are Feline, Elven, Goblinoid, Draconic and Orc. -Favoured Class: usually Fighter, but see below. -Level Adjustment: +2 ------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------ Rite of adulthood When a Lun'rak'tar reaches adulthood, he is initiated by his pack in a complex ritual. His ears are pierced with hot needles, and two small sticks made of bone are inserted into the holes like piercings. The young Lun'rak'tar must swear to always obey to the packs codex as long as he's with the pack. A year before the ritual begins, he must choose a mentor, which can be any member of the pack. He or she then teaches the youth the pack's codex, and teaches him how to fight and hunt for prey. But only after the initiation ritual may the Lun'rak'tar fight with the rest of the pack and go hunting. Since the young cub can choose whom to learn from, and different mentors teach different skills, all Lun'rak'tar differ a bit from the others. To reflect this, the player has three choices to pick from at character creation: Warrior: The mentor teaches the art of fighting as the humans did it. The Lun'rak'tar gains medium armor proficiency. His favored class is Fighter. He may also choose one martial weapon to be proficient with. Feral: The mentor taught him to fight like wolves do: feral and wild. The Lun'rak'tar looses all weapon proficiencies (though he may later regain them through class features or feats). His natural weapons deal damage as if he was one size category larger (Claws 1D8, Bite 2D6). His favoured class is Barbarian. Totemist: The Lun'rak'tars mentor was the pack's shaman. He taught him to call upon the pack's totem spirits, but neglected his physical training. The Lun'rak'tar may choose a single 1st level spell from the sorcerer's spell list. He may cast this spell once per day as a spell-like ability. His spellcasting attribute is Charisma. He must have a Charisma score of at least 10 to cast this spell. He does not incure an arcane spell failure chance from wearing light or medium armor. The usual penalties apply if the Lun'rak'tar is wearing heavy armor or using shields. He must have a good night's sleep to regain his spell-like ability. He also adds "Diplomacy" and "Heal" as a class skill for his racial hit dice. His favoured class is Totemist. Ronin: Lun'rak'tar who, for any reason, cannot complete the ritual (pack was killed, banished, got lost and raised by other species etc...), are not bound to a codex, but also did not recieve special training. But since they had to survive on their own, they had the chance to acquire lots of "field experience", other young Lun'rak'tar do not have. They are regarded as "ronin". They have no chance of undergoing the ritual of initiation if they join a pack during the course of their lives, although they are seen as adults. A ronin adds "survival" and "Knowledge(Nature)" to the list of his racial class skills. He gains the "Tracking" feat as a bonus feat. His favoured class is Ranger. Terrifying Roar (Su): As a standard action that does not provoke attacks of opportunity, the Lun'rak'tar may loose a terrifiying howl. He may designate one creature no more then 30ft away. This creature must be able to see and hear him, and have an intelligence score of at least 3. It must suceed on a will save (DC 10 + 1/2 the Lun'rak'tars HD + the Lun'rak'tars charisma modifier), or be shaken for 1D4 rounds. If it succeeds on it's save, it cannot be affected by this Lun'rak'tars ability for the next 24 hours. This is a mind-effecting fear ability. In addition, all allies within 30ft of the Lun'rak'tar recieve a +2 morale bonus against fear effects for (1+the Lun'rak'tars charisma modifier) rounds. ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ Comments: I wanted to create a werewolf-like race, but with a more complex background. More then the usual "wolf men" or "cat folk #32". I tweaked a lot until i hoped to have found the right number of racial hit dice and level adjustment. Basically, it's based of a natural lycanthrope with 4 HD of wolf. I reduced the DR a bit, took out the shapeshifting abilities, and added some minor things as "flavor". I also tried to make race more customizable, so each player can play a Lun'rak'tar "his" (or her) way. As always: PEACH. (okay, i wouldn't post here if this wasn't the case). Maybe i'll post a few feats or prestige classes for this race during the next weeks. Change history: Removes AC penalty for feral background. Balanced Shaman background Added Ronin background Changed Terrifying howl to Supernatural ability instead of Ex, changed save DC, added descriptors. Changed to standard action instead of move.
Neutronium_Dragon 02-02-07, 10:20 PM	Prior to the ceremony stuff, I'd say that it's probably okay given the 4 MH HD as a counterweight. However, the rituals bit bugs me. This would be better modeled by having them use their hit dice gained by race. (It also avoids the potential problem if one of these creatures doesn't undergo the ceremony for some reason.) The rituals are also unequal as written. Since they have two feats: Warrior: Martial Weapon Proficiency and Medium Armor Proficiency. Feral: Improved Natural Attack (Claw) and Improved Natural Attack (Bite). No AC penalty. Shaman: Adding a 1st level spell as a racial ability is probably feat-able (although it will tend to have obsolesence problems). That leaves another feat open.
Kezarim 02-03-07, 07:17 AM	I added the "Ronin" background for those Lun'rak'tar who have not undergone the ritual. I also added a bit to the totemist background, though i wonder if that isn't a bit too much, given that a 1st level sorcerer spell is <much>. (i'd say it perfectly accounts for 1,5 feats, given the usefulness it could have). i was also thinking about removing the background altogether, though i always felt they add some unique flavor to the race - and force the players to think about their characters more. The way they've grown up and such. Let's wait for further feedback...
Neutronium_Dragon 02-03-07, 08:44 AM	Terrifying Howl seems more appropriate as a supernatural ability than an extraordinary ability, and I don't think it's a good idea to allow it as a move action; standard action would be more apt. The other thing is that this needs descriptors. It's a mind-affecting fear ability.
Kezarim 02-03-07, 09:06 AM	You are totally right: added descriptors, changed to standard action. I'm unsure if it should be extraordinary or supernatural - it's not originating from magic, and even in an antimagic field the roar of a 340 cm werewolf charging at you at full speed should be quite terrifying (hence the name). I changed it for now, let's see if i still like it after lunch ^_^
RoCkEtInToXiCaTe 02-03-07, 04:26 PM	The reason I like this so much is because it reminds me alot of the Balverines in Fable. I really like this race, good work.
vegetalss4 04-21-07, 04:40 AM	do you think this would be balanced without the racial hp? that would make it better as a pc choice
Kezarim 04-21-07, 06:52 AM	Nope. The race isn't designed to be a low-level PC race. Removing the racial hit die would unbalance it to the core. But what you might do is play the following: Juvenile Lun'Rak'Tar This is a juvenile Lun'Rak'Tar. He doen't stand as tall as his adult brothers, his fur is a bit fluffy, and he looks up to you with large, yellow eyes. A juvenile Lun'Rak'Tar has ability modifiers as follows: +0 STR -2 DEX +2 CON -2INT +2 WIS -A juvenile Lun'Rak'Tar has no racial Hit die. -A j.L. has a natural armor bonus of +2. -A j.L. is a medium creature. -Juvenile Lun'rak'tar recieve other bonuses from their parent race, which i'm too lazy to list. Just think logically, damnit. -LA +0 Juvenile Lun'Rak'Tar MUST advance in the "Lun'Rak'tar monster class": HD: 8 SKP: 2 Class Skills: Climb, Spot, Listen, Intimidate Saves LvL HD BAB F R W Class Abilities 1 1 +1 +0 +2 +2 2 2 +2 +0 +3 +3 +2 STR, Natural Armor +1 3 2 +2 +0 +3 +3 +2 STR, Natural Armor +1, 4 3 +3 +1 +3 +3 Grow, Terrifying Howl 5 3 +3 +1 +3 +3 +2 CON, Natural Armor +1 6 4 +4 +1 +4 +4 +2 STR, Rite of Adulthood Grow - The Lun'rak'Tar now is a large creature. Do NOT adjust natural armor, abilities or anything else, as it is already figures in in a lun'rak'tar's ability modifiers. Do change the damage of his natural weapons' damage, reach, space, size and weight. This way you can play a Lun'Rak'Tar from ECL 1 on. The downside is, that you cannot take class levels until ECL 7. (the 7th ECL is a class level, then). The other solution is, indeed, to remove all racial hit die, and adding in a higher level adjustment. I just tweaked and calculated a bit: you MIGHT allow a Lun'Rak'Tar without racial hit die and a level adjustment of +3 or +4. Check with your GM. I'd make it a +3, since it doesn't offer you nearly as much as the "half fiend" or "half celestial" template.