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dirtymc11 01-04-08, 11:43 AM

THE VORSTEL My current issue is for a race of Elves who follow a diety of War. These elves are Known as the VorsTel (Vors being the God they follow and Tel being their word for Chosen ones). My vision has them being extemely LN in societal alignment (meaning that the needs of society are placed before the needs of the individual and the individual is expected to sacrifice pesonal desires or needs for the good of society) On an individual level I see most being of LG alignment. Social structure is Clan based with a council of the Clans' Lord Defenders (the leader of each clan) or their appointed representattives, meeting regularly to mediate inter-clan issues and assist in mutual defense (think the original vision of the USA allied states that cooperate for mutual defence, but have freedom to make their own internal laws as they see fit). Their are 3 classes in society. They are the Artisans, (Producers of anything from Music to Clothing from Scholars to Weaponsmiths. This class includes Wizards, and Psions) , The Speakers (Priests of Vors) and Defenders (Fighters, Paladins, Monks, Psychic Warriors and Sorcerors) The progression of social importance goes From Artisans (Wizards being more important than the distrusted Psions -though wizards are still distrusted themselves) all Defenders except for those of Emerald Rank (to be discussed later) Speakers and then those defenders of Emerald Rank. Psions and Wizards are distrusted because they develop abilities that Vors did not give them at birth and therefore they explore areas outside of the Realms of Vors' control. They can still attain high rank in society but it is very difficult for them to do so. Since almost the entire VorsTel population falls into one of these 3 categories they require Workers. It is not Vors' will that The Pure should perform such manual labor as farming (as that would require them to sacrifice to other dieties). Therefore they have developed a system known a D'zonecsh. This is on the surface Slavery (which people who are predominantly of Lawful Good Alignment would supposedly not approve of ) However the Twist is that its actual translation means that the Master (the D'zornu) has a responsibility to teach his slave (the D'zon) the Way and eventually the D'zon will become one of the Pure with all the rights given to a true VorsTel. Howeve since D'zon are taken from shorter lived races and the system of D'zonecsh usually takes 50+ years there are very few non-Vorstel among the Pure. However the system is true to its word that when they are ready they are given all the rights of the Pure. I do have more but I think that this is a good place to start for suggestions on how I could improve this Race. I envision the VorsTel as a Haughty and Confident race who really rub people the wrong way, but aren't truly arrogant they just see no reason to hide their 'superiority'. They vieww themselves as having the duty to teach the othe races the Way. This is inevitably going to give them a sense of supeiority. they do not go out and conquer new lands unless their population growth requires it, which it does not right now. Perhaps If I am looking for feedback I should start at the Beginning: Their Creation Myth In ages past there lived a people who were similar in appearance to ourselves, but did not know The Way. Three Tribes of these people, Uze Marante, Ele Drize, and Koehlarin, wandered the Area we call VorsTelis and hunted its animals and partook of the Wild fruits of the Land. In those days the Ancient One (Dragons) Known as Dryll was the undisputed master of these lands. He demanded all who lived beneath his shadow pay him tribute. The 3 Clans payed their tribute because Dryll was far more powerful than they. Then one day at a council of the clans a Tall figure unknown to any among the clans, but looking like one of them, came forth and said "You have power within you to break this slavery. I shall teach you The Way to do so." Since all agreed that their subjugation was not desired they allowed him to teach them. Decades passed and they learned the arts of the Forge, The skills of the Scout, and The Art of War. All ats unknown to them. Then one day The man, Known as Vors, called a meeting of the 3 Clans. He said "you have all learned well my lessons. Today I bring you hear that you may all agree to cease internat bickering between the Clans. You will come together to become stronger." They all agreed to do so, since their studies had already given them a sense of Unity they did not have before. Then He said to them "Today I take my leave of you." They said "but we need you to guide us." He removed his helm and gave it to the Uze Marantte headman. He removed his Breast Plate and gave it to the Ele Drize headman. He removed his shield and gave it to the Koehlarin headman. He said "These are all you will need to accomplish your freedom. Others live in slavery when you earn yours teach them how to earn their own." then he disappeared and ascended into the Heavens. When time came for their tribute, they went to the appointed place. When Dryll arrived they attacked. In all his long years he had never felt such pain. He abandoned the lands and took his residence in the Desert beyond the Wood. Upon inspection the clans found writing on the armor Vors had given them. The Law and The Way were thee and they agreed to live by them for all time.