1001 worst preform checks for the bard. [Archive] - Wizards Community

1001 worst preform checks for the bard. [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
calprinicus
10-19-07, 12:06 AM Ok people I need a list, doesn't have to go to 1001 but I need alot. I'm looking for the worst instruments/performance A bard could do to motivate his troops.

1. perform (Kazoo)
2. perform (breakdance)
navar100
10-19-07, 02:00 AM 3. perform (mime)
Dyax
10-19-07, 09:40 AM 4. perform (spoons)
5. perform (line dancing)
6. perform (yoodeling)
7. perform (puppeteering)
1 ton ghost
10-19-07, 11:37 AM prop comedy (like you need a reason to coup de gras carrot top)
nightwyrm
10-19-07, 12:37 PM Perform (stripping)
Perform (disco)
Eerongal
10-19-07, 12:49 PM 11. Perform(flatulence)
Artector
10-19-07, 01:18 PM 12. Perform (Vogon Poetry)
13. Perform (dog whistle)
Ananvilhurtz
10-19-07, 01:33 PM 14. Perform (Rap)
vorpo
10-19-07, 02:02 PM 15. Perform (ettiquette)
icuall
10-19-07, 02:06 PM 15. Perform - Baton Twirling
16. Perform - Fart sound imitations (under the armpit)
17. Perform - Modern Interpretative Dance
18. Perform - Story Telling
19. Perform - Juggling Knives
20. Perform - Juggling double-bladed swords! (one performance only!)
21. Perform - Communicating with the dead, like John Edwards (name?)
22. Perform - Traveling talk show
23. Perform - Blue Man group
24. Perform - Ballet (only entertaining by traveling group of 1/2 Orcs)
25. Perform - Hog Calling
...that's all for now...next?
JackSnape
10-19-07, 02:25 PM 26 Perform (flea circus)
27 Perform (dancing poodle/bear)
28 Perform (Roast, as in Friars club)
29 Perform (water-ballet)
30 Perform (eye-crossing)
ReverendCow
10-19-07, 11:44 PM 23. Perform - Blue Man group

I disagree.

27. Perform (Elvis Impersonation)
mtrpcic
10-20-07, 12:37 AM 28. perform(bedroom)
calprinicus
10-20-07, 12:39 AM 29. Perform (Chicken dance)
swccgf
10-20-07, 11:17 AM 30. Perform (elder dragon taming)
31. Perform (lava walking)
Ninja_Ferret
10-20-07, 01:10 PM 32. Perform (grinding)
Ralvuimego
10-20-07, 02:51 PM 33. Perform (Yo-yo tricks)
34. Perform (Triangle)
35. Perform (Puns)
36. Perform (Whining)
CheeseMan
10-20-07, 05:01 PM 37. Perform (Brain Surgery)
38. Perform (Soulja Boy)
Kernath
10-20-07, 05:47 PM This topic, it needs...

I think it needs more cowbell!

39. Cowbell
40. Skanking
41. Detuned bagpipes (you can use properly tuned bagpipes, but at -4)
42. Encyclopedia drums
omegagod08
10-20-07, 06:33 PM 43. Top of wine glasses
44. Race Car imitation sounds
45. Halo 3
46. the hustle
47 the NAKED hustle
Doctor_Grumpus
10-20-07, 11:50 PM 48. Perform (Thumb Twiddling)
49. Perform (Spit Bubbles)
50. Perform (Mouth Popping)
51. Perform (4'33") [cf. John Cage -- personally, I don't mind the piece, but for a bard in a pre-post-modern age...hmmmmm...]

Those are the worst that I can think of in non-gross PG-13
calprinicus
10-21-07, 12:03 AM 52. Perform (Kung fu sounds)

HI YA!
navar100
10-21-07, 12:12 AM 53: Perform (Leeeeeeeroy Jenkins)
Operation_Shoestring
10-21-07, 04:38 AM You do realize that perform (<sex act>) used to be a legit D&D skill before BoEF was removed from official approval?

Yeah, probably shouldn't go there.

54. Perform (Jitterbug) -synergy to tumble?
55. Perform (Haiku) -synergy to bluff?
56. Perform (Political Satire) -(negative) synergy to diplomacy?
57. Perform (Hula)
58. Perform (Beatnik Poetry)
sapient
10-21-07, 11:42 AM 59. Perform (tapdancing)
60. Perform (boring sermon) (for a bard with levels in Cleric)
61. Perform (Solve Rubriks cube)
62. Perform (nitpicking & faultfinding)
Kaleran1277
10-22-07, 07:21 AM Hallo!
I cannot believe these were forgotten:
63) Perform(Polka)*
64) Perform(Accordian)*
* Note: Not everyone can be "Weird Al", please entertain responsably

Thank you, Kaleran1277 :rolleyes:
draco1119
10-22-07, 08:03 AM Perform (Cabbage Patch)
Perform (Running Man)
Perform (Interpretive Dance)
Ananvilhurtz
10-22-07, 11:17 AM 68) Perform: (God Summoning Haiku)
Jang-Gun
10-22-07, 03:01 PM 69) Perform (Drunken Sea Shanties)

^^true story: city campaign setting, our bard was arrested nearly every fight for the first two meetings because he insisted on actually singing the shanties. It was bad. He switched to...

70) Perform (Jazz Snaps)

...and had his hands crushed underneath a stone from a collapsing roof. He got the hint.
Dyax
10-22-07, 03:49 PM 71: perform (bird calls)
ibayboy
10-23-07, 01:46 AM 72: Perform-Jackass Stunts
73: Perform-Pro Wrestling Taunts
74: Perform-Rules-Lawyering
75: Perform-Monty Python Quotes
MnemonicSV
10-23-07, 04:16 PM 76. Perform (Steam Calliope)
Operation_Shoestring
10-23-07, 05:40 PM 71: perform (bird calls)

That's actually useful. I vote we remove it.

77: Perform (Kazoo)

78: Perform (Animal sacrifice)
Evilholyguy
10-23-07, 07:06 PM 79. perform (butt scratching with tweezers and a sneezing fit and) DC 40 (guess what happens when you role a 1:evillaugh )
Evilholyguy
10-23-07, 07:11 PM 80. perform(applying acne lotion to a dragons back) :D
Evilholyguy
10-23-07, 07:11 PM 81. perform(tweezing a Ancient red dragons nose hair) :eek:
Dissont
10-23-07, 07:35 PM These are all ones people in my old party used:

82: Butt rock
83: beat boxing
84: horse whisperer (sp)
85: lap dance
86: mosh pit
87: girl calls
RollaD20
10-23-07, 09:42 PM perform: streaking

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
calprinicus 10-19-07, 12:06 AM	Ok people I need a list, doesn't have to go to 1001 but I need alot. I'm looking for the worst instruments/performance A bard could do to motivate his troops. 1. perform (Kazoo) 2. perform (breakdance)
navar100 10-19-07, 02:00 AM	3. perform (mime)
Dyax 10-19-07, 09:40 AM	4. perform (spoons) 5. perform (line dancing) 6. perform (yoodeling) 7. perform (puppeteering)
1 ton ghost 10-19-07, 11:37 AM	prop comedy (like you need a reason to coup de gras carrot top)
nightwyrm 10-19-07, 12:37 PM	Perform (stripping) Perform (disco)
Eerongal 10-19-07, 12:49 PM	11. Perform(flatulence)
Artector 10-19-07, 01:18 PM	12. Perform (Vogon Poetry) 13. Perform (dog whistle)
Ananvilhurtz 10-19-07, 01:33 PM	14. Perform (Rap)
vorpo 10-19-07, 02:02 PM	15. Perform (ettiquette)
icuall 10-19-07, 02:06 PM	15. Perform - Baton Twirling 16. Perform - Fart sound imitations (under the armpit) 17. Perform - Modern Interpretative Dance 18. Perform - Story Telling 19. Perform - Juggling Knives 20. Perform - Juggling double-bladed swords! (one performance only!) 21. Perform - Communicating with the dead, like John Edwards (name?) 22. Perform - Traveling talk show 23. Perform - Blue Man group 24. Perform - Ballet (only entertaining by traveling group of 1/2 Orcs) 25. Perform - Hog Calling ...that's all for now...next?
JackSnape 10-19-07, 02:25 PM	26 Perform (flea circus) 27 Perform (dancing poodle/bear) 28 Perform (Roast, as in Friars club) 29 Perform (water-ballet) 30 Perform (eye-crossing)
ReverendCow 10-19-07, 11:44 PM	23. Perform - Blue Man group I disagree. 27. Perform (Elvis Impersonation)
mtrpcic 10-20-07, 12:37 AM	28. perform(bedroom)
calprinicus 10-20-07, 12:39 AM	29. Perform (Chicken dance)
swccgf 10-20-07, 11:17 AM	30. Perform (elder dragon taming) 31. Perform (lava walking)
Ninja_Ferret 10-20-07, 01:10 PM	32. Perform (grinding)
Ralvuimego 10-20-07, 02:51 PM	33. Perform (Yo-yo tricks) 34. Perform (Triangle) 35. Perform (Puns) 36. Perform (Whining)
CheeseMan 10-20-07, 05:01 PM	37. Perform (Brain Surgery) 38. Perform (Soulja Boy)
Kernath 10-20-07, 05:47 PM	This topic, it needs... I think it needs more cowbell! 39. Cowbell 40. Skanking 41. Detuned bagpipes (you can use properly tuned bagpipes, but at -4) 42. Encyclopedia drums
omegagod08 10-20-07, 06:33 PM	43. Top of wine glasses 44. Race Car imitation sounds 45. Halo 3 46. the hustle 47 the NAKED hustle
Doctor_Grumpus 10-20-07, 11:50 PM	48. Perform (Thumb Twiddling) 49. Perform (Spit Bubbles) 50. Perform (Mouth Popping) 51. Perform (4'33") [cf. John Cage -- personally, I don't mind the piece, but for a bard in a pre-post-modern age...hmmmmm...] Those are the worst that I can think of in non-gross PG-13
calprinicus 10-21-07, 12:03 AM	52. Perform (Kung fu sounds) HI YA!
navar100 10-21-07, 12:12 AM	53: Perform (Leeeeeeeroy Jenkins)
Operation_Shoestring 10-21-07, 04:38 AM	You do realize that perform (<sex act>) used to be a legit D&D skill before BoEF was removed from official approval? Yeah, probably shouldn't go there. 54. Perform (Jitterbug) -synergy to tumble? 55. Perform (Haiku) -synergy to bluff? 56. Perform (Political Satire) -(negative) synergy to diplomacy? 57. Perform (Hula) 58. Perform (Beatnik Poetry)
sapient 10-21-07, 11:42 AM	59. Perform (tapdancing) 60. Perform (boring sermon) (for a bard with levels in Cleric) 61. Perform (Solve Rubriks cube) 62. Perform (nitpicking & faultfinding)
Kaleran1277 10-22-07, 07:21 AM	Hallo! I cannot believe these were forgotten: 63) Perform(Polka)* 64) Perform(Accordian)* * Note: Not everyone can be "Weird Al", please entertain responsably Thank you, Kaleran1277 :rolleyes:
draco1119 10-22-07, 08:03 AM	Perform (Cabbage Patch) Perform (Running Man) Perform (Interpretive Dance)
Ananvilhurtz 10-22-07, 11:17 AM	68) Perform: (God Summoning Haiku)
Jang-Gun 10-22-07, 03:01 PM	69) Perform (Drunken Sea Shanties) ^^true story: city campaign setting, our bard was arrested nearly every fight for the first two meetings because he insisted on actually singing the shanties. It was bad. He switched to... 70) Perform (Jazz Snaps) ...and had his hands crushed underneath a stone from a collapsing roof. He got the hint.
Dyax 10-22-07, 03:49 PM	71: perform (bird calls)
ibayboy 10-23-07, 01:46 AM	72: Perform-Jackass Stunts 73: Perform-Pro Wrestling Taunts 74: Perform-Rules-Lawyering 75: Perform-Monty Python Quotes
MnemonicSV 10-23-07, 04:16 PM	76. Perform (Steam Calliope)
Operation_Shoestring 10-23-07, 05:40 PM	71: perform (bird calls) That's actually useful. I vote we remove it. 77: Perform (Kazoo) 78: Perform (Animal sacrifice)
Evilholyguy 10-23-07, 07:06 PM	79. perform (butt scratching with tweezers and a sneezing fit and) DC 40 (guess what happens when you role a 1:evillaugh )
Evilholyguy 10-23-07, 07:11 PM	80. perform(applying acne lotion to a dragons back) :D
Evilholyguy 10-23-07, 07:11 PM	81. perform(tweezing a Ancient red dragons nose hair) :eek:
Dissont 10-23-07, 07:35 PM	These are all ones people in my old party used: 82: Butt rock 83: beat boxing 84: horse whisperer (sp) 85: lap dance 86: mosh pit 87: girl calls
RollaD20 10-23-07, 09:42 PM	perform: streaking