Post/Author/DateTime	Post
PenderGrass 11-24-04, 04:52 PM	1. It is me vs. Them and everything is in MY favor. 2. I get to throw Vampiric, Ghostly, Demonic Gelatinous Cubes at the PCs and watch them die. 3. I get choice slices of pizza and soda. 4. I choose the music. 5. "Dungeon Master" looks better on my job resume than "Player." 6. I get all the chicks. PS - This thread is dedicated to EatFlan the True Crusader of the 101 Thread! ****
Sucineri 11-24-04, 04:55 PM	7. I can use Ga-Zillion and actually have it mean something, whereas a player using the same term looks like an idiot and doesn't know what he is talking about..stupid players..
EatFlan 11-24-04, 04:58 PM	Pender i know you mean well but beware. The small minded majority will label you a troll and try to put you down. But we will succeed in driving out those folk :plotting: , and pushing them to the far reaches of the 'What's a Player to Do?' forum where the 100 and 1001 threads rule. :dancin: begone foul defilers!
Darkstealth 11-24-04, 07:07 PM	8. Their lives, events that happen in their lives and everything like that rest in MY HANDS!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :evillaugh :dancin:
Tallith, Sky Warder 11-24-04, 07:23 PM	9: Because it is the ultimate creativity exercise to build a world, people, politics, and monsters without the outside use of guides and books. The true experience comes when your players lose sight of how your world isn't theirs.
CzarGarrett 11-24-04, 07:38 PM	10. You're the one who can use the phrase "A dragon appears...and eats you."
Darth K'Trava 11-24-04, 07:45 PM	11. You enjoy yelling out "RANDOM DAMAGE" to those who get out of line. :devil: 12. You enjoy yelling out "YOU LOSE 'X' NUMBER XP" to those who say stuff you don't like.
John Bezo 11-24-04, 07:47 PM	13. Or the phrase "its not that bad, it would only hurt for the first 1000 pts of damage, after that you would most likly go into shock.." 14. Giggling instills great fear and trepidation 15. I get to run entire ninja clans, not just 1 ninja. 16. I get to play great wyrm dragons on a regular bases. 17. My mages can know any spell I want them to and I don't have to search for them/buy them 18. hoards of orcs. 19. hoards of demons 20. My wishes never get twisted. 21. I never fear death, because I will just make another BBEG, that is stronger then the last. 22. Vampires, liches, zombie lords, all with levels any time I want. 23. 19 level kobold assassines with 2 daggers of speed/keen/good bane/level drain. With contingent t-port set to go off at 0 hp's (eddited to correct #'s)
twad 11-24-04, 07:48 PM	22- you can be really creative about what kind of consequence your players are going to face when they do something stupid.
Shard of Suzail 11-24-04, 07:51 PM	Well, i am going back to being a player for a while. It`s much better to be a player and not a gm, when your group is poor quality.
ermedic 11-24-04, 08:53 PM	23) The physical laws of the multiverse obey your every whim. 24) The look on your players' faces when they realize they're DOOMED! 25) The knowledge that you know what will happen next, while they remain ignorant. 26) Hearing a player say, "Even though its my house, I want you to have the most comfortable chair."
Mordmorgan the Mad 11-24-04, 09:08 PM	27) I never have to ask "Hey, can I do this?"
orcslayer 11-24-04, 09:21 PM	I control the world. The Players quake when I smile! MUHAHAHA
Callista 11-24-04, 09:37 PM	28.) It's a LOT more interesting than writing a fantasy story. 29.) The great feeling when your players have managed to defeat your BBEG so narrowly that they have less than five hit points among them--and they're level 10+! 30.) Creating an NPC that's so memorable that the players actually "forget" he's not a PC--"that ANNOYING gnomish pickpocket!" or "that cute little halfling kid" or "that disgusting greasy barkeep". 31.) Hearing them talk about your world as if their adventures in it really happened to them. 32.) Watching them come up with an ingenious solution to what you were sure was going to be a death trap 33.) The feeling you get when you're doing six things at once, keeping track of a million things and a dozen NPCs and monster groups, and, strangely enough, you're head isn't exploding! 34.) Training a new player and watching them turn into a competent role-player and strategist. 35.) Caffeine highs! 36.) When the players think about the world beyond the PCs--monster motivations, or what's going on when they're not there. 37.) A good, heroic PC death... not something like being smashed up at the bottom of the 20-foot pit you thought the 1st level party could handle! (Yeah, I'm still bitter over that one. But I learned from it.) 38.) Using illusion magic to totally freak out the players!
pseudonyms 11-24-04, 10:39 PM	39. Watching as a player you've known for years tears up over the death of a beloved NPC and shakes with rage as he rolls the attack dice against the BBEG. 40. Hearing the roaring applause as the party crushes said BBEG in epic style. 41. After revealing a plot twist, watching a look of shock slowly melt into a giant smile and a friendly "I hate you." 42. Basically, being responsible for any moment in which the game transcends dice and paper and truly touches a player.
Felonious Monk 11-24-04, 10:45 PM	43.) The look on their faces when you say, "Uhhh, I'm going to need to borrow some d6s." 44.) Traps, riddles, mazes, and cryptic clues. 45.) Any good idea you have shows up in next week's session. If you're a player, it only shows up in next week's session if this week's character dies. 46.) Saying, "Make a Will save" to certain people. 47.) You get to name the taverns.
The_EvilDungeon_Master 11-24-04, 10:50 PM	48. Seeing them shiver in fear when you maniacally laugh at their feeble attempts to slay goblins. 49. No body is able to contradict you. 50. Being all the gods.
Doug McCrae 11-25-04, 12:13 AM	51. You get to cheat. Honest, it says the rules are just guidelines somewhere.
The Foolish Rouge 11-25-04, 12:18 AM	47.) You get to name the taverns. It's so true. 52. You get to say: "A rock falls on your and he dies." 53. You don't have to wait for your piece of cake. 54. You don't have to kill your current character when you come up with a cooler concept, you can just introduce a new NPC.
Bringslite 11-25-04, 12:18 AM	55. Keeping the plot twists and secrets to yourself for 10-15 lvls and then watching thier faces when they discover the truth.
Puck 11-25-04, 12:25 AM	56: Seeing, the little hairs on the backs of the players necks after one of your NPC's gives a moral riseing speech. (It's been a long time since i have had a REALY GOOD role play group. The one i have now is cool, but its not as in depth in rping that i love)
eshadowe 11-25-04, 12:56 AM	57. Your players look to you to control the world & encounters, know all the rules, help them with there characters and spells, control all the npcs....hey wait, I'd rather be a player...anyone need a now retired DM
Carkni 11-25-04, 01:39 AM	58. You always know what to do.
was_fired 11-25-04, 02:14 AM	59. You never have to worry about a player giving you an evil grin.
Flamy 11-25-04, 02:15 AM	59. You can make your players say "I'm scared." 60. You can make mountains pop out of thin air, the sky turn green and trees into lobsters all with a few words. 61. You can see the PCs in shock when a mountain pops out of this air, the sky turns green and suddenly all the trees become lobsters.
Doomhawk 11-25-04, 02:25 AM	62) I am a control freak. 63) You know the rules so much better than your players that you make an entire adventure in the time it takes them to make their characters, and your NPC's have more background than they do. 64) Thinking of most of your players as DM's causes uncontrollable shuddering.
Draco Strang 11-25-04, 03:10 AM	65.) You get to roll tons of dice.
Doomhawk 11-25-04, 03:15 AM	Draco reminded me of another good one: 66) Since BBEG's are always higher level than the PC's, we get to use those nifty spells and special abilities long before the players do. We can say, "Empowered Fireball," when they're still thinking that Dimension Door is hot stuff.
Bane 11-25-04, 03:16 AM	67: You can say "Your character takes 1d6 points of damage" when you throw your 2" six-sider at them. 68: Even the guys who could beat you down without breaking a sweat tremble before your might. 69: You can decide not to mention the time of the next session to the annoying guys. Oh yeah, all that stuff that involves working with the players is cool too.
william_reinmar 11-25-04, 08:10 PM	70. not having to worry that the evil DM will unleash death apon your beloved Pc.(lolololol ,muhhhhhaaaaa :evillaugh :devil: :schemes: :schemes: :devil: :rolleyes: :plotting: :evillaugh :plotting: lol I love the new smilies!!! :) :P
Encard 11-25-04, 08:43 PM	71. You can cry yourself to sleep over the endless hoards the PCs have massacred, then wonder how long it would take to design the Elven Undertakers' College. 72. You don't have leprosy.
was_fired 11-25-04, 11:55 PM	73. Templates effect CR far less than they effect LA. 74. You get to have your guys go all out every fight while the PCs have to hold back. 75. Each encounter your guys get stronger while the PCs get weaker (over a 24 hour period). 76. You get to play with nearly every ability before your PCs do. The only downside is that even the niftiest effects can grow old. *Yawn* Yep your turned into stone, and then the minitor removes your head with his adamantium battle axe, and then the medusa casts flesh to stone on you slaying you... so Bill it's your turn so I need your fort save.
Ramses III 11-26-04, 12:10 AM	77. I get to do the voices for all of the NPCs. 78. I get to do the voices for all of the NPC PIRATES!!!!!!!!! 79. I relish the looks on my players' faces when I change the music and they know they just walked into the BBEG fight for the night :devil: :devil: :devil:
Lightning 11-26-04, 01:51 AM	80.The look on your players face when you say"I'll let you out of this trap if you give me twenty bucks" and then the lokk of the empty walets when they are done shelling out the money.
Ratheus 11-26-04, 04:26 AM	Whoa there, eatflan. Another of your zealous quests to deal insult to the 1001 threads again? But personal insults? You've called PenderGrass "Penderwuss" in your signature - that's just plain childish. What exactly is it you do here, again? And, of course, back onto the enjoyable, light-hearted topic at hand: 81. Best seat in the house. 82. You say "pit fiends" - and everybody craps their pants. 83. It's a much better use of my creativity. 84. The fear in their eyes. 85. I don't have to worry about making a new character if I do something dumb. 86. Less erasing. 87. I don't have to be the same character every session - I get to be a bunch of different characters. 88. Players: We defeated your sister, you foul erinyes! What is it we should fear from you? My erinyes: I have been converted to 3.5, while she was mere 3.0! Not to mention my six levels of fighter! 89. Roll spot checks! (random rolling, for no good reason except to keep them on their toes). You don't see anything. (enjoying the looks on their faces). 90. Player: I take off my armor, walk towards the werewolf, and start a grapple! [rolls] Me: Okay, you provoke an attack of opportunity [roll] and it bites you [roll] Player (interupting): Yes! Yes! I'm getting lycanthropy! Yeah! Big LA bonus! Me: No, you're getting your throat torn out. Player: What, doesn't it want to make me into one of its own? Me: No, it wants to make you into dinner.
The Shaman 11-26-04, 11:03 AM	91. Being the Great and Powerful Oz - "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!" 92. Calling for Spot and Listen checks just to keep the players on edge. 93. Improvising when my players head off in a completely unexpected but interesting direction. 94. Creating an entire multiverse.
Luminous Crayon 11-26-04, 12:26 PM	95 - The look on their faces when they realize the NPC wizard who betrayed them was actually their arrogant old nemesis from all summer, who they thought was dead, wearing a hat of disguise. 96 - The look on their faces when they put all the clues together and track down the solution to the campaign-long whodunnit. 97 - The look on their faces when they charge into the BBEG's hidden sanctum for revenge, swords drawn and battle cries on the lips, then look down to see all the nasty glyphs they've just stepped all over. 98 - The way the good cleric's player sweats and squirms when he has to go, alone, into the locked and warded bowels of the temple of his enemies, because he needs the help of those evil clerics to dispose of a dangerous, sentient magic item that endangers the whole city, and he is 100% certain that when the item is destroyed, he'll be next on the chopping block. (Note: my players are awesome like this.) 99 - Having elements of your homebrew world used by one of your players in the D20 Modern game he's running, just as a passing homage.
Lordofthebean 11-26-04, 02:40 PM	100) Posting on the DM's board on a regular basis and not being flamed for it. 101) Listening to EatFlan's acidic replys--EatFlan, you make my day :D 102) When you say "the room seems empty," watching your players latch onto the word "seems" 103) Power Word, Kill 104) Getting the final say on which books are allowed and which are not. 105) Finally seeing PCs have enough treasure for their level (I had a DM who gave us a +1 longsword at 7th level. It was the most powerful weapon in our arsenal. We had 850 gp between the five of us. Stingy bastard).
Pongolyn 11-26-04, 07:30 PM	106. You don't have to keep track of NPC experience. Furthermore, you can generate a 20th level NPC from scratch to get that cool class ability rather than having to work your way up from 1st level. 107. You can play a ghostly half-dragon yuan-ti monk/paladin if you want to, and you don't have to ask permission first. (You might want to ask permission before playing a dual-scimitar-wielding good surface drow ranger, though.) 108. No one ever starts the game without you.
The Foolish Rouge 11-27-04, 01:44 AM	109. There is always more people viewing the "What's a DM to do?" then the "What's a player to do?" 110. You have the most books.:D (Well most of the time.) 111. You get to be all the carnies at the circus.
Ramses III 12-03-04, 12:02 AM	112. You get to use Barbarian Rage way more than the players do. 113. The look of fear in the eyes of my players when I describe a monster going into a Barbarian Rage: "The minotaur's eyes widen and its nostrils flare. It begins visibly shaking and frothing at the mouth, and lets out a bellowing roar as it charges (random die roll, then point at a player) YOU." 114. I never have to worry about getting ambushed. 115. I get to play the guys doing the ambushing: "Make a spot check. OK, you don't see the guys in the black pajamas."