Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Lothian Claw 08-22-04, 09:09 AM	I have played Dungeon's and Dragon's for some time now. And I have seen my share of PC's that really needed a Dunce hat placed upon their head's. I love reading other people give small example's of PC's not thinking. Example. DM: Steping into the room ( glancing at ready map to the left) you notice something to your right. But everything else in the room seem's normal to you. PC: I look to the right. DM: You see something glimer in the Corner, covered by the shadow.. PC: I draw my sword.. I say " Come out, or you shall die!".. DM: Nothing happen's... The fire flicker's a little high.. and the glimmer show's up again.. PC: I grab something and throw it tward's the glimmer. DM: You throw a vase at the glimmer.. (Rolls Dice) it break's, fall's to the floor.. You hear something scratch at the wall. PC: I say again "If you don't come out. I will smite thee! DM: The fire flicker's again, ( roll's dice) This time, you see a figure, in what it seem's like a frame of some type. PC: Oh man, shoot..they caught me.. I grab my dagger and throw it at the figure.. DM: (Roll's Dice, Rolls again) Ok, congradulation's.. you broke an ancient mirror.. You hear siren's, yell's down the hall.. and now, the door has shut behind you.. Roll for initiative.. I have not witnessed anything like this before. It's just an example. If this example has been rippied from someone else, or is somewhat alike, I appologize. I was not meaning to steal anything. It's just an example.
Nifft 08-22-04, 09:22 AM	Spare the poor apostrophe your abuse! Thanks, -- N
flamefist drunkenmonk 08-22-04, 09:23 AM	this was me being brilliant. So were in a temple of this (really really really) evil diety, he has been trapped away for hundreds of years or something. (thurizadin if that helps) and we fight this evil cleric and he goes down after a pretty hard fight, but an eye comes out of the alter. I say well we might as well find out what it does, and im a monk and have the best saves of the group so i looked at it. I made the save, BARELY when i rolled a 17 and said HAHA NOTHING HAPPENED, YOU SUCK AT LIFE(inside joke of our group)then i stayed around for another 2 rounds taunting it(we were new and metagamed a lot, i was stalling for time so everyone else could get out of the room because i made the save and usually you cant be effected by the same gaze attack in a certain amout of time)... DM told me after the session that i barely made it and if i would have failed i would have been dominated ... and that the turn after i left he would have killed everyone in the room, no save. lesson learned DONT EVER taunt evil dieties and then wait in the room. (thank god he didnt leave the room, we guess he was bound) :edit: if you think he was bad look at my run-on sentences :edit:
Lothian Claw 08-22-04, 10:07 AM	Nifft:Spare the poor apostrophe your abuse! :twitch: .....:uh-huh: :rant:.. tehe :D
Nifft 08-22-04, 12:51 PM	:) Thank you. We need to preserve the endangered apostrophe... for the children. Anyway, here's a story about what some of my PCs did under the influence of... shall we say some kind Shire pipeweed. They were staking out a goblin-infested ruined dwarven mine (because it was a low-level adventure, and I like cliches every now and then). They had just seen the biggest, toughest and most-magic-user-ish looking leave the area on worg-back, heading towards the nearest human town (3 days ride). So, the party decided now was the time to strike at the heart of the tribe. Not a bad plan overall, except for the overall lack of a plan. They sneak up to the broken doors of the entry way at high noon (when goblins are sleepy), and manage to snipe the napping pair of guards before an alarm can be raised. They find some poorly made rigging hung around a pit that's deep, dark and full of water -- and horrors of the depths, no doubt. They skirt the pit by climbing on the rigging. This will be important later. Proceeding into the darkness, they realize that there is a dim source of light up ahead. They sneak up to where the major cave-in occured, and find a cavern full of rubble -- a 10 ft. drop directly in front of them, then a raised area across it, and a bonfire burning in the very center. The cavern is ringed with rope rigging, and they see goblins climbing up the makeshift rigging ladders to higher passages. With a roar, the party attacked, smashing and grabbing whatever they could. Their surprise was brutal and effective. They accomplished their objective. Now would have been a good time to leave. Instead, they stuck around, hoping to kill everyone. They did manage to kill several more goblins before the goblins managed to raise an alarm, calling their dark cleric, who co-ordinated the goblin's defense. The remaining goblin guards climbed the rigging and cut the ropes behind them, then sniped at the party from the high passages. The party was hurting by now, and they finally decided to retreat. The goblin rogues sniped at them at every opportunity. In the darkness, the party was denied its dex bonus to AC, so the resulting attacks were brutal. One PC -- whose player was absent -- fell unconscious on the rigging over the pit, and should have fallen to certain death. Best of all, the goblins were running from the back entry to try to intercept the PCs emerging from the front door. Moral of the story: mobility is key to victory. Don't stand around once they know where you are. -- N
Bedevere 08-22-04, 01:30 PM	3 9th level PC's walking down a corridor, which splits into two. One guy looks down each branch, and they both see.... :behold: coming at them. They run, understandably. The two fighters hide in the next room (Both getting single digit checks for hiding.) The cleric pauses in the entrance, and lobs a flask of acid at the nearest beholder, scoring a direct hit on the central eye. This dispels the kobolds change self spell, and kills it. Three 9th level PC's at full health ran in terror from 1st level Kobolds. :D :D :D
flamefist drunkenmonk 08-31-04, 06:39 PM	this happened a few nights ago my friend, a 9th level fighter (fighter/barb/annointed knight) charged a 7 headed hydra. We tell him he has a bad reflex save, and we know that it does 3D6 per head(checks and such)...21d6 total damage, reflex for half, and his reflex save is + 3(maybe four). Well ... he took 59 damage, then we lost initiative and then he got a full round of attacks on him. By the 3rd attack it dropped him to 0, lucky for him. (once you go down the monster disregards you in our campain) our group has a LOT of these... so ill add the big ones. That one isnt too bad (well ... maybe it is) but we have worse. my favorite quote(by the same guy) is "I bet your just lycanthropes waiting to attack us" We were in a forest at the time.. and hey he was right :twitch:
PriestoftheUndyingCourt 08-31-04, 11:56 PM	A party of 3rd level characters come apon an ancient elven city in a forest. One of the players (a real jackass who we dont let play anymore) decided to attack the guards. The plot of the story DEMANDED that they go into the city. As the DM i made a situation allowing them into the city. The Gnome who attacked a guard was struck in the head a few times untill unconscious. Then he was thrown in a small cage and carried around by his dwarven friend. The gnome was stripped of all his clothing and weapons. The cage was kicked and tossed around many time (on purpose of course :D ) it ended up the gnome was permenantly banned from all elven citys that were in alliance or anythign similar to that city. Also for some crazy reason, a thief managed to steal the king elf's pants. Yes his pants. He rolled a natural 20 TWICE!! and i gave it to him. we were very tierd it was like 3 in the morning. The moral of the story is "Dont attack guards of a city cuz there ALWAYS goona win. Unless your DM is wierd" another moral is "No matter what the article is, anything is theftable. yes theftable"
PaladinKD 09-01-04, 01:08 AM	In regards to all the above, ...................? :confused: ... king .... elf .... pants... ............. ...... ?? :( :banghead: ....... nuff said. ..... No, my mistake, one more thing. Bedevere, A Change Self spell will not make a Kobold look like a Beholder. Unless it be one about the size of a kobold... with arms.... and legs.... and walking instead of floating. No wonder your fighters were confused. I'm right there with them. Now I'm done.
Fixxxer 09-01-04, 02:08 AM	The PCs were in a small thieves guild holdup in the middle of the night. There were guards, but they were in the back playing cards. The PCs are basically playing it smart, moving down the hallway from door to door. They check behind each unlocked door, always seening a room with a few beds with one or two guys sleeping off some booze, whom they quietly dispatch in their sleep. Finally, as they're comming to the fifth door, someone comes around the corner, sees them and raises the alarm. Well, the rogue was standing right next to door number 5, so he figures that while the fighter and the barbarian are dealing with the threat at the end of the hall, he's going to make sure this door doesn't open, spilling out a nasty group of opponents. The player is very specific about what he's doing and how he's doing it (he was hoping for a bonus to the check, which I gave him...it really was well thought-out....almost). He takes an arrow out of his quiver and sticks it into the keyhold of the lock, jamming the locking mechanism in place so the door can't be unlocked. ... ... Unfortunately for him, he didn't check to see if the door was locked before he did this. He ended up jamming the mechanism in the unlocked position. The funniest part was that after he finished and I announced his success, the player took special care to announce that his character smirked and gave a smug nod towards the door. This was right about the time that it opened inward. :D
Lily_Knight 09-01-04, 07:39 AM	Pffftt.. I have seen stupider :rolleyes: There was one rogue we called "Click" (as in the sound a trap makes when it goes off), because he thought that the Search skill was the weakest skill and that "I as a DM couldn't possible use that many traps"
Lothian Claw 09-01-04, 08:46 AM	Speaking of which.. This one done to me the other night. I was in a tomb of some sort, just came into the main door, and I had not made 3 turns, when this came up... DM: As you are heading down the hall.. you come across an intersection, 3 way's to go ( in front of me, behind me, and to my left. ). To your left, you see a figure standing with their back to you. ME: ( Fighter/Thief ) Alright, I ask the person what they are doing here.. DM: while rolling for some odd reason They seem to not pay attention to you. ME: I step forward, as I am doing so, I ask again.." What are you doing here? " DM: Rolling again.. your foot kind of.. falls down 1/8 of an inch. ME: ( Looking down ) oh sheet.. I jump back.. DM ( shaking his head ) Roll for damage.. ME: Damn.. a trap huh.. door? falls down.. DM: yeah.. you fall down into a room.. you take.. ( roll's ) 6 damage.. and as you stand to your feet.. you see 4 skeleton's to your right.. 5 laying on the ground to your left.. and you broke one when you fell.. ME: :uh-huh: DM: yeah.. roll for initiative... ME: :banghead: Why me.. why me.. why me.. why me..
Defcon4 09-01-04, 09:44 AM	Oh, where to begin? The Sorcerer in the party doesn't take mage armor, shield, or any defensive spell until 3rd level. When asked why, he replies, "i thought i'd come across a magic item for defense." The same Sorcerer, still running around with a 13 AC, has his choice between a Figurine of wonderous power (lion) and a mace of disruption and picks the mace. Apparently, being nearly mauled to death by it (remember, 13 AC) while in a fight with its then owner didn't press upon him the effectiveness of having a lion as a gaurdian. At 3rd level, the mighty Sorcerer with the mace of disruption and will to flee all melee combat, takes Persuasion as his feat. That's when i turned to him and exclaimed, "what, you want to die is that it?" In a fight with an assorted number of memphits, which only a couple of the PCs could actually hurt, the Sorcerer uses his newly acquired wand of magic missiles to hit one of them. That's good, except he chooses to hit one that hasn't taken any damage, effectively drawing out a battle that could actually leave a few PCs dead, as only a couple of us were effective in the battle. He replies, "it's better to spread out the damage amongst different targets." DM: "Ok everyone, reflex saves". Me: "ARRGGHH!" ....this is good therapy. I feel better now.
flamefist drunkenmonk 09-03-04, 03:06 PM	ok, heres a brilliant move of our party we spot a trap (no rogue and we rolled a 20 WOOT!! lol) and so were like.. hmm... what should we do with it. Well... being the curious people we are they sent me (monk= high saves) to step on it. So it turns out to be a warning for the 3 duergar below... they were clerics so they got so buffed it was funny lol. (sadly i stepped on it like 3 more times after the alarm went off to see if anything would happen) our dm at the moment: :uh-huh: :nonono: :OMG! lesson: if you find a trap BYPASS IT.... if you know its a trap(or involved saving throw) avoid it (with the whole eye thing above)
Mystery Man 09-03-04, 03:17 PM	The players just kill a foe and search the body... DM: You find nothing on the creature but its body is covered in strange X and P shapes... Player: I roll a spellcraft to see what they mean. LoL!
Sabin 09-03-04, 03:18 PM	this happened a few nights ago my friend, a 9th level fighter (fighter/barb/annointed knight) charged a 7 headed hydra. We tell him he has a bad reflex save, and we know that it does 3D6 per head(checks and such)...21d6 total damage, reflex for half, and his reflex save is + 3(maybe four). Well ... he took 59 damage, then we lost initiative and then he got a full round of attacks on him. By the 3rd attack it dropped him to 0, lucky for him. (once you go down the monster disregards you in our campain) our group has a LOT of these... so ill add the big ones. That one isnt too bad (well ... maybe it is) but we have worse. my favorite quote(by the same guy) is "I bet your just lycanthropes waiting to attack us" We were in a forest at the time.. and hey he was right :twitch: Metagame much?
Aki Warren 09-03-04, 05:57 PM	Well, I just got done playing a little while ago, here is some stupid stuff Dm (me):Alright, you see a fire blazing in the middle. Everywhere is covered in blood, but there is no sign of a struggle in the dirt. You see 8 tents in a ring, what do you do? Rogue: I Walk into the tent Dm:...okay...roll fort Rogue: Wait! I search for traps! BAD ROGUE! BAD! DM (me again, same spot, later on in combat): Alright Thale (A sorceror, elven) you hear one of the creatures sneaking up behind you Thale: I draw my sword slowly and ready an action. Dm: Okay, it's very close now. You can hit it with a touch spell. Thale: I cut it with my sword Dm: You cut it? The same creature it took the Half-orc/Half-giant while raging two attacks to kill Thale: Yeah, I'm hoping for a crit Should I mention he dealt 6 damage, then got sneak attacked twice?
Board_Rider 09-03-04, 06:29 PM	Setup: The PC's enter a deserted town and have already discovered that there are certain things in the city that they should not be dealing with but they..god bless em'*sniffle*...press on. They enter an INN when they hear somthing like a THWUMP from upstairs.....the drama is high... DM(me): Soo..you want to go up the stairs? PC(rougue): Well I want to do it quietly so maybe I can sneak up on it. DM: Okay...I'll let you rol that Move Silently check..go ahead. PC:**rolls**..counting...A 31. DM: Damn thats good...okay you're going up the stairs quietly..and you reach the top. Whaddya do? PC: (I swear he did this) **Yells** Hello!!!, anyone here? I needed a smoke break to stop laughing.
Lothian Claw 09-03-04, 08:14 PM	Funny!! ^^^^
flamefist drunkenmonk 09-03-04, 09:52 PM	i love this thread... it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside :D
desro11 09-03-04, 10:30 PM	Wow. At least I know now my group isn't the only one...sigh... A while back we had one player acting a none too bright gnome bard (fit perfectly since he wasn't too bright either). Anyways,they got stuck in a pretty precarious situation in an orc army camp, lets say we weren't exactly invited. The party realizing that they needed a smooth talker to sort things out, so naturally they ask the bard with a charisma score of 24 and who knew about nine languages. so here goes. in game... DM:The orcs are pretty upset, they don't seem to be taking too kindly too you. PC: I don't know, do something! Anything! Bard: What? What do I say? PC:ANYTHING!! Any language,(<this part was a mistake) just calm them down! Bard to DM: I shout out to them to stop in Dwarven!( :weep: ) Party: :nonono: :uh-huh: :headexplo :twitch: Orcs: :mymy: DM: :rofl: :devil: Every head in orc camp turns in your direction...hehe.. Bard: Oh crap...that was bad... wasn't it. Our DM had a riot that day. Funny thing is, we actually survied...mostly.
The Shaman 09-03-04, 10:39 PM	Board Rider wins. My own contribution: The party is searching for a gem-studded idol in a series of caves and vents in a volcano on a tropical island. They've dealt with the pirates, the giant bats, and a small fire elemental, and now they're staring across a chasm filled with flowing lava, hoping to get to a passage on the other side. Remember, volcanic cave. We'll pick this up when the rogue says... PC (the rogue): "No problem. I'll climb the walls and swing from the stalactites to get to the other side." GM: "You're going to swing across using the stalactites?" PC: "Yeah, you know, like monkey bars." GM: (trying hard to suppress a smirk) "Okay." PC: (rolls the dice) "That's a thirty-one on my Climb check." GM: "Okay, as you get hold of the first stalactite, it opens its eyes, looks at you in surprise, and lets go of the ceiling, dropping you both to the floor. You take eight points of damage from the fall, and another eight from the stalactite-like creature. Everyone else, roll for initiative." At which point PC2 (the wizard) slaps his forehead (seriously, not figuratively, he really smacked his forehead), and says, "Volcanos don't have stalactites!" Then a piercer killed him.
Americano 09-04-04, 05:41 AM	This happened during the first session of the second adventure of our campaign. Four of my five players are new to the game, so I was, at the time, trying to help them learn how to play by explaining concepts as they came upon places to use them. The party had searched and found a chimney leading into a mountain fortress they wanted to enter. The rogue decided that she would climb down the chimney first to see what was at the bottom. I nerfed the DC on the climb a bit so they would have a chance to make it in. I stopped the game there for a short rules lesson, explaining about taking 10 and taking 20. Finishing the explanation, I say to her, "Ok, what do you want to do?" Her: I'll climb down. Me: Ok, and... Her: Rolling climb... on no, a 1 Me (to experienced player): Not ten seconds after I explained it... Her: OH! I'm taking ten... Me: No, you're taking 4d6
Lothian Claw 09-04-04, 06:05 AM	Desro11.. This is the reason that I play D&D. I love the odd thing's PC's do at the worste times. It gives the game another step. I love it!! :bow:
Fixxxer 09-04-04, 01:07 PM	Her: OH! I'm taking ten... Me: No, you're taking 4d6 I'm seriously considering placing that in my signature. Very, very good...
Steelgryphon 09-04-04, 01:59 PM	Ok here is mine DM: You wake up in a tent with a small fire buring in front o you PC: I leave and look out side the tent DM: You see 2 dogs sleeping inbetween 2 rows of 3 tepees and 2 armed Gaurds PC: I leave and go to talk to the gaurd DM: Roll initive (the Initive goes Dog Gaurd 1 PC Dog Gaurd) DM: The dog bites you :rolls: miss PC: Ok DM: The gaurd throws a dagger at you :rolls: hits dog, Almost kills dog PC: I pick up the Dagger, DM: Ok PC: I stab the dog DM: ok you kill it after about 4 rounds of that he only wins because my char (monk) came out and worked the last gaurd Me: go hide PC: Ok, I serch the tent DM: Ok you find 5 fires and 5 people sleeping PC: ok i go around the corner DM: Makes Listen Check PC hears footsteps coming around a tepee, You hear foot steps PC: I go to talk to him DM: Roll Initive (It goes Gaurd PC) DM: He attacks, Hits, Kills, game over you lose That game lasted 5 min THAT is the stupidest player moment EVER
quarkstomper 09-04-04, 02:56 PM	The PC had been captured in a rope snare and was hanging upside-down from his ankles with a group of jeering goblins with spears below him. The player pulled himself up so that he could grab the rope. He pantomimed holding onto that rope with one hand. "Good," the DM said. "Now I draw my dagger and cut the rope," the player said, pantomiming the action of cutting the rope. But he made the "cut" above the hand holding the rope. "Let me get this straight," the DM said, "You draw the dagger..." he imitated the action so that the player could see what he was doing, "...and you cut the rope?" "Yes!" The player imitated the action one more time: "I cut the rope!" "Okay," the DM said. "You fall to the ground and land on your head. You take (X)d damage. Fortunately, the goblins are too busy laughing at you to kill you while you're unconscious."
flamefist drunkenmonk 09-07-04, 03:18 PM	:bump: i know we have had more stupid moments than this :D
Kobold Horde 09-07-04, 08:07 PM	Once there was a bard without a large attack/damage in a mostly human party. We were in a cave, and no one had dark/lowlight vision :uh-huh:!!! so, he held a torch while evreryone else shot at kobolds shooting them :mymy: . So, by now the bard had become bored of holding a torch and not attacking. So, he droped the torch! everyone: :mymy: Meanwhile, the kobolds were raining arrows with dark vision. One PC managed to escape in complete darkness, while the bard managed (I think he rolled a 20 while all the kobolds rolled 1's, but i didnn't see the rolls :( )to re-light the torch in pitch blackness and not even one arrow hit him. Then, he escaped with the last PC.
zambuka 09-08-04, 02:06 AM	Here is one situation my group affectionately refers to as "Oh S*** they've got wings" Party is chasing a group of Kapak (i think this is right, the ones with wings but can only glide) draconians and are ambushed along the way. The rest of the party were dealing with the ambush while the rogue(halfling) ran after the drakonians to find out where they were going. DM (me): Not far ahead of you the corridor opens into a large room, each of the creatures pauses briefly, unfurls its wings and drops into a large pit. You enter the room as the last of the creature leaps over the edge. A layer of mist starts about 10 foot down completely obscuring everything after about 20 feet. To the left a set of stairs lead down into the mist. PC: OK, I follow them. DM: Ok you head down the stairs. PC: No... the stairs will be too slow I follow them over the edge. DM: Umm... you don't know how far down it is. PC: It must be safe if they jumped, I leap over the edge. Rest of Party: NO! DM: You leap. You fall into the mist. you come through the layer of mist after faling about 20 or 30 feet, you see another layer a few more feet below you. You also see the creatures, their fall is slowed by the small wings. They are a little startled as you plummet past them. PC: OH S***.. THEY'VE GOT WINGS. end result is one splattered halfling and one new character sheet. Mind you.. leaping from high places without any means of slowing their fall was a common theme with a couple of my players. eg. attempting to grapple a dragon in flight while carrying a pack full of oil of impact is not a very good idea, especially when there is nobody available to catch you if you miss.
Lothian Claw 09-10-04, 01:10 PM	:bump: :drool: More!
kclawhammer 09-10-04, 06:28 PM	My first campaign playing DnD- I was a mage, but I personally didn't have the intelligence, wisdom, knowledge, what-have-you to play him right. For example, we were all at this giant competition to determine who would be some big mage/fighter dude's apprentice/heir. The BBEG shows up and levels the place, and we 4 or 5 are the only people alive. I know have to convince the rest of the party that they need me. I was making up tales of knowing the history of the BBEG and that I knew a paladin who had died fighting this guy... :nonono: My DM realized that I fit the 'big dumb figher' role better than the 'calculating mage' role. So, two adventures later, I'm out of spells and I had just critically missed with my quarterstaff, sending it accross the room. suddenly a giant ogre mage with a huge axe shows up. I just get down on my knees and plead for my life. two seconds later the right side of my brain is seperated from the left side, my right lung from my left, etc. I was eventually reincarnated as a Minotaur that was probably a little too overbalanced.
Cathon 09-10-04, 07:13 PM	I was eventually reincarnated as a Minotaur that was probably a little too overbalanced. What do you mean by overbalanced? The only thing I can think of is that you had abyssmal physical stats, and the bonuses from being a minotaur made those completely average, so you were too balanced with no high stats.
Ratheus 09-10-04, 09:07 PM	I play with some players used to a game where they are allowed to pick their characters from the monster manual. Anything they want. I think it's rediculous to hear the stories, as I run a normal, balanced game. No half-dragon, half-nymph players, killing the enemies with unearthly beauty (but the DM only lets me use it three times a day...) They tend to drive me up a wall on occasion, especially when they're being spoiled powergamers. The following section actually occured, although the words may be a little different from what I remember. DM: They appear to be werewolves, judging by your knowledge check and the claim made by the head of town militia Player: I'll take off my armor. DM: What? Player: I want to become a lycanthrope so I can turn into a werewolf whenever I want to. DM: Where do you get this crazy idea from? Player: My other campaign. The DM let me do it...... Obviously, the player rolled a new character afterwards. And I'm being an a-hole for killing the character? I think not. Spoiled powergamer down! Whoo-hoo! Another point for the DMs!
Evil O 09-11-04, 07:00 AM	OH S*** THEY HAVE WINGS!! THat is the greatest pc dtory I´ve ever read, did they do that alot?? I`m not as dumb, but close enough! :D
RainCloud 09-11-04, 08:25 AM	I was on a camping trip one time. I had only begun to play DnD myself so I took the PhB along with me so I could learn the rules. During the w/e, these two kids were bugging me to play with them. They didnt have any idea what DnD was but they wanted to play anyway. I told them it was not possible as I didnt know the rules well enough myself and it would take too much to show them how to play, PLUS I didnt have any dice. So they nagged enough I finally gave in. I put little numbers on pieces of paper which served as the die. To make things uber interesting, I made them both 20th level. One guy was a rogue, the other a druid. The story I gave them was that the druid has been destroying a nearby town for destroying the lands with thier industrious projects. The wealthy nobles gathered a collection to hire an assassin (the greatest in the land to handle the immense power of the crazy druid) to handle the situation. So the setting is the druid's grove. They dont know it, but I begin the encounter with the two guys back to back. Roll init, the druid goes first. *Describe scene* Druid goes north DM: Rogue, you hear footsteps directly over your left shoulder. What do you do? Rogue: RUN! (he ran from EVERYTHING! Even Deer!) DM: LMAO *pause* where? Rogue: looks back and forth *IRL*, Right? DM: ok *Few turns later* Rogue, sets fire trap Druid charms Lynxs and has them run to the four corners of the grove. One lynx trips firetrap and is incinerated. Forest catches om fire. Druid comes by and cast create water on huge fire to douse, it has some effect. Outside person says, TURN INTO A WATER ELEMENTAL! Druid thinks about it, no I will evaporate! Turns into an eagle and flies away. Forest fire goes nuts, taking out entire grove. Rogue rests past a river, Druid goes to lake where bunch of other forest animals are. Turns into water elemental, charms fish (?!) Tries to get fish to flop on the beach. Tries to get bears to stop drop and roll on the raging fire. He hopes the fish flicking about on the beach will make them forget the fact their homes are burning down... (nevermind the druish heroe sending them on suicide missions!) Needless to say, none of it worked and the grove burnt down. I guess the cowardly rogue won.
BloodGod 09-11-04, 10:17 AM	First actual campaign I played our Rogue wasn't a real Rogue. He didn't play it well. He tried to be shifty. For example, we found two Immovable Rods, gave them to him to hold because we decided as a group they'd come in handy. He sells them both and buys magic items for himself. Not even potions to be split up amongst the group or anything beneficial to even one of us, all just for a rogue. He wouldn't ever disarm a trap. He'd search. If he found one, he'd go hide behind something and tell someone to open it. Which, usually ended up being me-the half orc.
zambuka 09-11-04, 10:42 AM	Since some of you liked my story, here is another one. These are from a campaign I ran for nearly 8 years (IRL) that eventually got called the Silver Egg Chronicles. 2nd ed Forgotten Realms campaign, but still valid for this thread. PC's are fighting a fairly powerful dragon, Sharakan, (from an early Dungeon module, can't think of the title right now) with whom they had battled a couple of times already. I played Sharakan as sneaky and deceptive always with a contingency or two for when things went wrong. This time however things were going quite swell for ol' Sharakan, sufficient to have the party running away rather than the usual of Sharakan having the snot beaten out of him and running off to fight another day. Now the gnome Illusionist sees the party hotfooting up the corridor away from the dragon, who was readying his next dose of breath weapon. Rather than following the party up the corridor and away from the dragon our intrepid and fearless little gnome decides he wants to try to intimidate the dragon with a few illusions. Bare in mind that initiatives had already been determined and the sequence of events was pretty much already determined, and I had already decided the dragon was using his breath weapon this round (all the PC's would have been out of range if they had run). Our little gnome steps out into the cavern "buffed" with a couple of illusions and bellowed out at the top of his voice "I AM GUNGARR" (add a roll to the double r to get the full effect of the situation), just in time to catch the full blast of acidic dragon breath. eewww.. messy. As a side note it took 2 more encounters with Sharakan before they finally managed to kill him. The players cheered and it was one of the most satisfying moments for everyone in that campaign. Also the previously mentioned situation with the pack full of oil of impact was one of the encounters with sharakan.
Evandar_TAybara 09-11-04, 02:07 PM	Playing "Egg of the Phoenix", converted to 3rd ed. The group has climbed up the inside of a mountain and found themselves within a black forest. When I say black, I mean black. The trees are black, the grass is black, everything is black except for the 20 ft wide path of pure platinum that winds through the trees. Sticking sensibly to the path, they make their way through the forest. Unfortunately, they get attacked by a roper and discover that each round off the path they must make a fort save or gain a negative energy level. Retreating from the roper they continue along the path.... DM - "The path ends at the foot of the wide steps leading to an immense black stone cube, easily 40 feet on a side. Two grey steps lead up to a 10 foot wide black stone door, on which there is a large bronze handle." Elf Cleric - "Cool! I'll touch the building." DM - "What?" EC - "I touch the building!" DM - "What? The black building?" EC - "Yes." DM - "The imposing black building?" EC - "Yes." DM - "The imposing black building that's the same colour as the icky black forest?" EC - "Yes." DM - "The imposing black building that's the same colour as the icky black forest and radiates necromantic evil magic?" EC - "Yes." DM - "You mean the bronze handle right?" EC - "No." DM - "The actual black wall of the evil black building?" EC - "Yes." DM - "Ok..... Make me a fortitude save, and don't forget the -9 penalty for negative levels." EC - "Oh, crap...." I think you can all guess what happened next.... Funny thing is that the player was actually playing her character quite accurately and might have touched the thing anyway even if she had picked up on my rather unsubtle hints.
Lothian Claw 09-11-04, 02:42 PM	Oh that was nice.. Gungarr... eww. update. This was something that happened to me a couple of month's ago..As my Character ( thief known as "Silver", once he stole something, he left a silver peace in competence.) was rumaging through a local house, trying to get some cash. The place was a nice mansion of some sort. He came into a small quarter, and began to search it. Glancing through the room, he spied a table with some sort's on it. A set of dice caught his eye. Picking it up.. ( RPing it with a set of RL dice.. 2d6...), he rolled the dice in his hand's for a few moment, and then decided to throw then on the table to see what his lucky number was.. If it was above a 6, he was leaving, to go to another house. Oh lucky ME.. DM: what did you just say.. PC: I have decided that if I roll a 6, or above, I will leave this place, and go to another. DM: :devil: alright then.. PC: I toss the dice on the table.. trying not to make to much noise.. DM: What did you roll.. ( thumbing through a book ).. PC: eww.. I guess that I will stay here and see what I can get..[ rolled snake eyes.] DM: eww is rright.. you lose 10,ooo xp.. PC: :uh-huh: DM: :D Also, the :dice::dice: roll again the next round.. [6] PC: What in the hell are these things?! DM: ohh.. you gain a -4 penalty to AC.. ( not telling how long ), and in all the ruckus that you have made, you have awaken the owner of the house, and he's called 3 gaurd's to check into the matter... grab your dice.. this is going to be fun.. He had rolled the Olidammara's Dice.. oh what fun. Needless to say.. I had to roll another character. Fancy me.
Cardinal_Boz 09-11-04, 03:34 PM	This was in a second edition campaign, set in a metropolis on the banks of a very wide river. The party had decided to leave the city, and chose to cross the river via train. The railroad, the most acclaimed wonder of the country they were currently in, at this point spanned the river on a long, narrow bridge. Most of the party paid the small fee for a ticket, and took thier seats. Sunblaze the elven fighter/wizard, however, decided that 2sp was out of her league; she'd be *clever*. She decided to sneak past the station guards and start running across the bridge to the other side of the river; five minutes later the train takes off. Soon enough, Sunblaze hears the train bearing down on her, and leaps off of the bridge in her desperation, falling many many feet to the river below. Her body is swept away in the raging waters and lost to the sea... Later on in that campaign, Sunblaze (resurrected early, sans items) had attained a nice arsenal of magic loot. She had also gained the emnity of the small elven island of which she was the queen's third daughter. After a long, involved adventure, the party had decided to split up temporarily and tie up some individual plot threads. While Alaghiy the alaghi headed north to liberate his village and Chester the centaur sought his long lost mentor, Sunblaze decided to fly away to her family's island, flinging fireballs from on high as she approached. Eventually, the island's soldiers bring her down and defeat her, but decide to spare her. The bellicose lass wakes up in clean white robes in a small temple, with one of her older sisters attending her. The sister explains that her family wished to make peace with Sunblaze, that their silly feud had torn the kingdom asunder for too long. Sunblaze nodded sagely and asked where her items were. The sister waxed poetically about the lovely wonders of peace and unity. Sunblaze clenched her fists and asked where her items were. The sister laughed and said that her items had been taken to the treasury, where she could pick them up. Sunblaze thanked her sister and bolted up, dashing out of the temple and sprinting to the treasury. When she reaches the gold-filled vault, she finds her other older sister and a brace of guards waiting. This sister taunts Sunblaze, telling her that she was not as naive as the rest of her family and fully expected Sunblaze to head straight for the treasury. Sunblaze responded by flinging a series of fireballs at the piles of gold behind her sister, melting the currency into a molten heap which enveloped the soldiers and encased the rest of the treasure. She then made her escape, flying over the sea laughing triumphantly; it wasn't until she'd reached the mainland that she realized that all of her items had been melted into a giant gold mountain, and that any attempts to return would be as the individual who'd consigned the crown princess to a horrible melting death. Oops. Some years later the same player was running a monk, Algernon, in a 3.0 campaign. Algernon and the party wizard, P. Disquesse, were speaking to the best friend of Rhazes the Red, a halfling archmage that had given them information and support a few times in the past. The best friend, a gnome peddling magic items, was regaling Disquesse with tales of his travels through various plans when Algernon got the bright idea of stealing items from the gnome's pack. Player 1 (Algernon): I pick his pocket. GM: Ok. Do you move behind him while Disquesse has his attention? Player 1: Nah, I do it from the front. He's just a gnome, what's he going to do about it? GM: ...! Player 2 (Disquesse): Not to metagame, but I think he's going to notice. PLayer 3: Do you even have any points at all in Pick Pockets? Player 1: Screw you guys, I'm doing it. The poor chap proceeded to roll a 5, with modifiers. GM: The gnome looks up at you as your hand blunders its way into his pockets, a horrified blush spreading across his face. As it turns out, people who are best friends with arch mages and wander around toting magic items aren't the best gnomes to mess with. Algernon spent the rest of the campaign polymorphed into the form of a dog, and unofficially became known as Disquesse's second familiar.
Student Of The Mind 09-11-04, 04:58 PM	This was from several years ago, and still makes me shake my head. DM (me): Ok, you exit the gate and step out into the dull red atmosphere. The sky above you is cataclysmic and swirling with thick grey clouds that contrast against the dull crimson above. The soil of the land is maroon and gray mixed together to create a dark earth beneath your feet. The air is filled with a strong smell of sulfur and a stench of rotten eggs. Small withered plants mark the terrain around you, their thin branches are bare and naked of all life, though they seem to live within this chaotic enviroment. In front of you flows a mirky river that seems strong and unrelenting, its color is similiar to the sky above though what would be the clouds, look more like ghostly shapes which float to the surface before sinking below. You stand roughly fifteen feet in front of the shore. What are you going to do? Player1: Is there anything else around us? DM: Yes there is a mountain range a ways off, several miles away. Player2: I'm gonna run towards the river and jump in! DM: :OMG! :uh-huh: Player1: No Dont! Player2: I'm gonna swim around in it and try to catch one of those floating things. DM: :twitch: Player2: What's wrong? DM: Ummm...You're swimming in the River Styx! :nonono: The character ended up losing all of his memories, stripped of all personal items (clothes, weapons, armor, items), took 10 permenant Charisma damage and 5 temporary Con damage. The party was in a very very bad place, and just lost their 18th level tank. Needless to say it wasnt a very happy session.
Lothian Claw 09-11-04, 06:54 PM	*Shaking head* I tell you what.. I would like the stats on these characters. I am making a permenant Tower where all the crazy people go. And when someone does something bad To the DM (me), I will simply send there character to this place. And let them set with the other people. Let it be a nice lesson.
bloodycard 09-11-04, 09:25 PM	Guard: go see the captain in is room. PC:OK DM: as you go down to see the captain you are in front of a door. PC:I knock to the door Captain: Who is it? PC: The captain 1 minute of laugh Captain: Im am the captain! PC: No I am the Captain! Stop session for 15 minutes because the DM and a PC where on the floor
flamefist drunkenmonk 09-14-04, 02:51 PM	:bump:
Cravensson 09-14-04, 05:18 PM	I have to tell this story every so often. It is just too good. A Boy and His Rust Monster Our party had just discovered the terrible force of nature that is the Rust Monster. Having been on the receiving end of their unique special ability, we had retreated to town to resupply ourselves before venturing back to The Dungeon(tm). While we were all in town buying new stuff to replace what the Rust Monsters had eaten, our party rogue Hans had a revelation. There were two blacksmiths in town. With such a creature, one of them could easily drive the other out of business. At this point, the DM began to bang his head on the table behind his screen. Undeterred, Hans proceeded to go into The Dungeon(tm) on his own, and actually managed to capture one of these creatures. This, in and of itself took an hour of real-time. But he was now the proud possessor of his very own Rust Monster, and wouldn't his mama be proud? Hans took the Rust Monster to his home first, where it proceeded to eat everything metallic that wasn't nailed down... not to mention the nails that were used to nail down what was nailed down. But Hans didn't care - he was sure to be rich. Grabbing what he thought was a stout piece of rope, Hans put the Rust Monster on a lead, and took it to the nearer of the two blacksmith shops. The smith was by no stretch of the imagination a stupid man, and told Hans where he could go, and to take the Rust Monster with him when he went. Well, that didn't deter Hans, because, as I said there were two blacksmiths. He started out toward the other one's shop, when suddenly the Rust Monster went completely berserk. Before Hans could stop it, it yanked the rope out of his hands and started running toward... the monthly iron shipment that the two blacksmiths used to make their wares. It was at this point that Hans could see a very bad thing happening here. He valiantly attempted to stop the Rust Monster, but to no avail. The guards of the caravan saw it, and began firing arrows at it. Now, here is where I have my own claim to PC stupidity, because my character, an Elf fighter-wizard, was at the other blacksmith's shop. I noticed the fight between the guards and the Rust Monster, and rushed out to help. I cast my biggest, mostest-powerfullest spell - Sleep. Now, if you look at a Rust Monster's Hit Dice, you will see that it is immune to the Sleep spell. The guards on the other hand... Luckily, all the guards went to sleep and could not see who cast the spell on them. They did, however, see who released the Rust Monster, which ate all of their weapons, armor, and the shipment. Hans was put in the pillory. Years later, my character came back to town as a rich lord, and Hans was still there.
Fluffy_Grandmother 09-14-04, 07:47 PM	:heehee Now THAT was an entertaining story :thumbsup: Oh yeah... :bump:
Sabin 09-14-04, 07:52 PM	That's pretty good.
Steelgryphon 09-14-04, 07:53 PM	He manages to screw up a fighter
Lothian Claw 09-15-04, 09:55 PM	Alright. :bow::bow::bow::bow::bow: You can have this forum. That was a good one. I hope this post keep's running. Come on people. give us your stories!
psionichamster 09-15-04, 10:17 PM	well, one game i ran, the players seemed to try to find the most creative and inventive ways of getting people to kill them i have ever seen... take this one (of many) as an example... pc1, a tiefling rogue who doesn't yet know of his true heritage or power, is stalking two of the other pc's, a samoan bard and a mexican Capoeira monk instead of approaching them in a non-threatening, i wanna be your friend manner, he stalks them for a while, until it's obvious that they know something is there... then, he comes out of the shadows, all mysterious like with a cloak pulled up around his chin and tail hanging out... so, the samoan, played very intelligently by my IRL paranoid friend, casts sleep on the poor rogue...init time, rogue fails, fails will save...sleepy time for you... at this point in time, i thought it would be over and done with, but no... the bard pulls out his pistol (d20 modern) and puts it to the rogues head... nat'l 1, saved PC, no intervention on my part. and it got worse from there. the hamster!
FrostyObsitnic 09-15-04, 10:19 PM	This is what I get for letting someone play a goblin rogue... This is from a dungeon which is being run by a guy with a +20 int modifier in a contraption that lets him use it like strength (or in this case, use it as the strength modifier of an animated object). DM: You enter a large, cavernous room which is almost completely dark. On the ceiling 50 feet above you you can barely make out what looks like a window. There is a little light coming from beyong it. Goblin rogue: I light a torch and look around. DM: Alright. You see a door on the far end of the room. There are two pillars in front of it. On the floor is a small spiderlike construction- a metal ball with 8 jointed metal legs. Around one of them is looped a key. Goblin Rogue: I throw a dagger at it DM: Immediately it springs to life, something rolls into the window above you, and the spider begins to scamper across the floor, stepping on a button and revealing a pit of spikes between you and it. (insert everyone jumping across pit and giving chase) Beefy Psion: I attempt to tackle the spider and pin it. (Hits with an attack roll) DM: Now roll opposing strength checks (Psion rolls fairly high, but spider has a +20 str modifier, like i said.) DM: You are flung off of the spider by an invisible force and you skid across the floor. Goblin Rogue: I attempt to tackle it and pin it with an immovable rod. If the rest of the party hadn't had the presence of mind to get the hell out of the room, the spider would have flipped a switch to turn the room into a total vacuum, and everyone would have asphyxiated. Moral of the story: Goblins are really stupid.
OneRingShort 09-16-04, 06:36 AM	Never mix a incredibly dumb, incredibley strong half-orc witha 400 pound iron chest, and an 80 foot pit which has your allies in it fighting some enemies. Squish Squish "Sorry!"
DragonsArt 09-16-04, 08:06 AM	The moral of the story is "Dont attack guards of a city cuz there ALWAYS goona win. Unless your DM is wierd" another moral is "No matter what the article is, anything is theftable. yes theftable" And here I thought the moral of the story was "The DM is a controlling meglomaniac?" The guards are ALWAYS going to win?! What is this EVERQUEST?! Guards are typically 2-3rd level fighters.... if that! Just look in the DMG under hired NPCs. A city couldn't AFFORD to pay any serious number of high level fighters unless it was EXTREMELY rich.
DragonsArt 09-16-04, 08:08 AM	3 9th level PC's walking down a corridor, which splits into two. One guy looks down each branch, and they both see.... :behold: coming at them. They run, understandably. The two fighters hide in the next room (Both getting single digit checks for hiding.) The cleric pauses in the entrance, and lobs a flask of acid at the nearest beholder, scoring a direct hit on the central eye. This dispels the kobolds change self spell, and kills it. Three 9th level PC's at full health ran in terror from 1st level Kobolds. :D :D :D Actually.... 3 9th level PCs ran from a DM who didn't bother reading the spell description. Change self CANNOT make you look like an entirely different creature type. A Polymorph spell might have done it, but definately not change self.
DragonsArt 09-16-04, 08:19 AM	Ok here is mine DM: You wake up in a tent with a small fire buring in front o you PC: I leave and look out side the tent DM: You see 2 dogs sleeping inbetween 2 rows of 3 tepees and 2 armed Gaurds PC: I leave and go to talk to the gaurd DM: Roll initive (the Initive goes Dog Gaurd 1 PC Dog Gaurd) DM: The dog bites you :rolls: miss PC: Ok DM: The gaurd throws a dagger at you :rolls: hits dog, Almost kills dog PC: I pick up the Dagger, DM: Ok PC: I stab the dog DM: ok you kill it after about 4 rounds of that he only wins because my char (monk) came out and worked the last gaurd Me: go hide PC: Ok, I serch the tent DM: Ok you find 5 fires and 5 people sleeping PC: ok i go around the corner DM: Makes Listen Check PC hears footsteps coming around a tepee, You hear foot steps PC: I go to talk to him DM: Roll Initive (It goes Gaurd PC) DM: He attacks, Hits, Kills, game over you lose That game lasted 5 min THAT is the stupidest player moment EVER Hmmm... considering how lame the beginning of that game sounded, it's probably best it only lasted 5 minutes.
DragonsArt 09-16-04, 08:22 AM	Once there was a bard without a large attack/damage in a mostly human party. We were in a cave, and no one had dark/lowlight vision :uh-huh:!!! so, he held a torch while evreryone else shot at kobolds shooting them :mymy: . So, by now the bard had become bored of holding a torch and not attacking. So, he droped the torch! everyone: :mymy: Meanwhile, the kobolds were raining arrows with dark vision. One PC managed to escape in complete darkness, while the bard managed (I think he rolled a 20 while all the kobolds rolled 1's, but i didnn't see the rolls :( )to re-light the torch in pitch blackness and not even one arrow hit him. Then, he escaped with the last PC. I guessed I missed the part where torches automatically go out when you drop them. Last I heard... like every other burning thing... it continues to burn until it's fuel is exhausted or it is acted on by an outside force (putting it out, a STRONG wing blows or it's doused with water. Torches aren't matches.
amethal 09-16-04, 08:29 AM	I enjoyed everyone else's so I thought I'd add mine (even though they aren't as good and I seem to remember doing them on another thread ....) Our party had a half-orc cleric who only ever cast spells on himself and regularly bad mouthed the rest of the characters and all NPCs. We encountered a pair of trolls in the temple of elemental evil, and our cleric decides it would be a good idea to talk to them. Never mind that my sorcerer has just reached 6th level and is itching to try out his new fireball spell. The trolls decide to take us to their leader, who is another troll - with fighter levels, judging by his weapons and armour. The cleric "negotiates" with the troll leader for a few minutes while we hang out with his two henchmen. The troll leader turns out to be a bit of nasty piece of work, and a bully, and our cleric has a lousy charisma and no social skills. Bored with the way things are going, the cleric punches the troll (that's right, with his fist - why bother with weapons or spells, its only a troll!). Instead of fighting two trolls from a distance, with fireballs, we now have to fight 3 in close quarters. I was sorely tempted to "accidentally" let off a fireball anyway. Its only by the most miraculous series of dice rolls (players' rolls were in the open, DM may have fudged his) that we managed to escape. Having decided the temple is too tough for us, we go back to another dungeon to investigate a pit we had previously found. We are on a pair of moving platforms when we get attacked by some grells. The cleric is itching for a fight, but we are in a very unstable position. The DM gives him a choice of making a very difficult balance check to avoid falling off the platform he is on, or an easy jump check to make it back to safety instead. He opts for the difficult option, and falls to his death. The player then spends the next two hours blaming the DM for killing his character.
DragonsArt 09-16-04, 08:30 AM	Oh that was nice.. Gungarr... eww. update. This was something that happened to me a couple of month's ago..As my Character ( thief known as "Silver", once he stole something, he left a silver peace in competence.) was rumaging through a local house, trying to get some cash. The place was a nice mansion of some sort. He came into a small quarter, and began to search it. Glancing through the room, he spied a table with some sort's on it. A set of dice caught his eye. Picking it up.. ( RPing it with a set of RL dice.. 2d6...), he rolled the dice in his hand's for a few moment, and then decided to throw then on the table to see what his lucky number was.. If it was above a 6, he was leaving, to go to another house. Oh lucky ME.. DM: what did you just say.. PC: I have decided that if I roll a 6, or above, I will leave this place, and go to another. DM: :devil: alright then.. PC: I toss the dice on the table.. trying not to make to much noise.. DM: What did you roll.. ( thumbing through a book ).. PC: eww.. I guess that I will stay here and see what I can get..[ rolled snake eyes.] DM: eww is rright.. you lose 10,ooo xp.. PC: :uh-huh: DM: :D Also, the :dice::dice: roll again the next round.. [6] PC: What in the hell are these things?! DM: ohh.. you gain a -4 penalty to AC.. ( not telling how long ), and in all the ruckus that you have made, you have awaken the owner of the house, and he's called 3 gaurd's to check into the matter... grab your dice.. this is going to be fun.. He had rolled the Olidammara's Dice.. oh what fun. Needless to say.. I had to roll another character. Fancy me. Ah.... the wonders of being rich... being able to just let Olidammara's Dice lie around. I love it when powerful magic items and relics are strewn about everywhere with no purpose or reason.
Cravensson 09-16-04, 08:59 AM	Here is one of my personal dumb PC moments: Brontosaurus Ballet Our party had been hired to protect some cartographers as they scouted out a "lost world" area. You know what that means. Dinosaurs, cavemen, giant apes galore. So there we were, hiding in the jungle outside of a clearing and watching a brontosaurus munch on some leaves. I was still playing the Elf fighter-wizard from my first story. Somehow, I allowed the party's bard (a Neutral Evil bard, btw) to convince me that the brontosaurus would be worth a lot of money if we might somehow bring it back alive. Well, I thought, this shouldn't be too much of a problem. I've got a few spells that ought to do the trick. So, I went into the clearing, and proceeded to get the brontosaurus's attention, at which point I cast Charm Monster upon it. First mistake, as the brontosaurus decided that I was its new best friend and immediately started moving toward me. I panicked and ran. The brontosaurus, seeing its best friend run away, decided to chase me. Next mistake was running through our camp as I tried to get away from the brontosaurus. It trampled our employers' tent, not to mention the Dwarf Fighter and it nearly got the Cleric too. After destroying all of our supplies, and attracting the attention of every predator on the island, I *finally* got the bright idea of dispelling the spell, so I stopped, turned around, and dispelled it. The Brontosaurus, suddenly confused as to why it was running through the jungle chasing some strange little thing, stopped and went back to grazing on the foliage - with his foot planted squarely on top of me. Most of my stuff was destroyed by the crushing weight, but fortunately my spell book survived. Which was maybe not a good thing, because the next morning, I proceeded to blow the hell out of the party members who *hadn't* been wounded by the brontosaurus by shooting a fireball into the middle of a patch of swamp gas while trying to kill a giant chicken. (You had to be there.)
Moon-Lancer 09-16-04, 12:33 PM	we had this one player.... ohhh... the real life wisdom score on her ohh... man. ok i dont really know the conversations but her are some of the things she tried to do She played a rouge She tried to break a stone wall with her rapier after reluctantly taking a quest for a evil character(whole party) she goes back to talk to him alone, right after he charmed the princes and turned her evil and started having an orgy with a whole bunch of women. (it was that god of sex or whatever from book of vial darkness) sorry i don’t know the name She attacked everything head on and tried to do 5 tumble checks in a row to get past a bunch of monster to talk to the evil pc player to make friends with him and she got angry when he attacked her (he was apart of captain of the guard for the dungeon we were trying to escape.) this girl manages to get bellow 0 hp after the first five minits of playing d&d and gets ****** off when battles take an hour or so. Also her character signed a scroll in blood, then put on the ring that the sex god gave to her. I was like "no way leave me out of the contract" it auto signed everyone but the key was that it wasn’t effective unless you wore the rings the demon gave the party. Pulse the rings were rusted and covered in blood. She tried to un sign herself after i did and she took d6 of damage. then she tried to take off the ring and it wouldn’t budge. then she got angry that she had sold her characters soul and was offended because she was Christian. Mind you she played her character as if it were her. She has a really low wisdom score. like a 6. This was a level 1-4 campaign
Jaxom 09-16-04, 01:18 PM	One thing to have an idiot PC played by a good roleplayer... The story... we were a group of 5 friends who were borderline evil characters living the slum life in a town in Forgotten Realms with a gladiator pit. I played a Dwarf, there were two human barbarian brothers, a halfling, and a human sorcerer. Out of money and out of luck, one memeber of the group visited the gladiator trainers and got us a fight to make some good money. Next thing we knew we're standing in the arena with our backs to each other so we could face the sets of doors that were going to open and let a wave of fighters through. The doors opened and we got a description of kobolds, some holding swords and others with spears. We all began rolling initiative when the player of the halfling, an awesome roleplayer and I enjoy playing with him or running games that he plays in, yells ... "Oh my god.... they're huge!" Each of our characters looked over the halfling to the door he was facing, we wanted to see what he saw that we didn't... nope, still kobolds.
FrostyObsitnic 09-16-04, 01:38 PM	This happened when one of my PCs, who had one hand which acted like a torch (and was constantly on fire) decided he had his own way of taking out the gnomes that had just ambushed the party with crossbows. They were on a huge flying dragon's back on the outskirts of a gnome villiage (long story). The gnomes had swarmed the party when they arrived, and were now hiding in some thatched roofed cottages. Here's what the fire-hand guy decides to do: PC: I climb one of the cottages and set the roof on fire with my hand DM: The gnomes run out, some of them are on fire. (insert party killing off the gnomes, rinse and repeat about 2 more times) PC: (pointing to the map) I go to this cottage and set it on fire. DM: You mean the one that wasnt in range of you when the crossbow bolts were fired? PC: Yeah. DM: You mean the one on the edge of the dragon's back? PC: Yeah. DM: The one that's on the edge of a FLYING dragon's back? PC: Yeah. DM: Ok, great job. You set the roof of a building on fire. The dragon swerves. Make a reflex save to avoid falling to your death (rolls just enough to save his life) DM: Youre holding onto the dragon's hide now. another PC: I run over and attempt to pull him up DM: Ok, roll a strength check. (he fails miserably) DM: You fall off too Party Cleric: I go over and try to help the the first guy up. (Also fails miserably) DM: Great. Now three of you are hanging off of this dragon. One of the players then pulled himself up, and helped the other two up just in time to be ambushed by more gnomes. First PC: I attempt to set them on fire DM: One of them tackles you off the dragon. Good job, you get to take falling damage for being thousands of feet in the air!
Jaxom 09-16-04, 01:47 PM	Frosty... was the character's name Beavis? "Fire.. heh-heh .. Fire!!" :D http://www.classicouk.com/scans/postcard%20scans/304%20gif/304-007sm.jpg
FrostyObsitnic 09-16-04, 01:53 PM	Come on, I gotta give him at least some credit. his name is Mr. Bojangles and he's more like "fire...booze heh, firewater."
Lothian Claw 09-16-04, 02:19 PM	oh man... This happens last night while I was running a dungeon crawl. She had went to the aristocrat to get the information to capture a guy that was kidnapped. (Gnome wizard). As she was heading twards the forest, she came into contact with a couple of gnolls.. This is how it went. DM: Heading south-East, you see a small area of tree's to your right. PC::mymy: ok.. I keep heading southeast. DM: *rolls* As you stroll by, you notice two figures in the wooded area. They seem to be trying to hide behind some trees. PC: Eww.. I keep going the same way.. ( she had a green horse.. Don't ask.) DM:As you continue on, your horse is startled to the right, and you are jolted to the side of the saddle. A gnoll has jumped out in front of you, a figure heading your way from the first set of figures that you saw. PC: :bigeyes: I make the horse run. DM: (Her not checking nothing, the guy that was in a fight for his basic life run's for his dear life...) PC: :uh-huh: ok.. you run really really fast. to the east. While she was out in the feild... She looks around..The other PC was ahead of her by half a days walk. he was heading to the forest same as she.. PC: I look around, what do I see.. DM: to your southwest, you see a figure of black in a sea of green. ( Figure against a wall of green.) PC: oh.. well I start for him.. DM * rolls dice * PC-2, you hear the sudden explosion of air released from between two flaps of skin. ( make sound like a horse blowing air from nose ). PC2: :twitch: I pick up the pace. DM: ok, you start to jog twards teh forest.. PC1: *raising hand* wait wait.. how can he hear me, and I cant see him? DM: Umm.. because he heard your horse.. .and your eye's can't hear that far. PC1: Well I should be able too.. I mean, steriotypically, I should be able to see what color his buttons are from miles away. DM: This isn't a movie, you are playing what your character would do.. This is a game. PC1: well I should be able to see him from here.. DM: No.. you shouldn't The reason that I put this up was because, I will eventually tell my fiancee about this thread. ( PC 1).. and let her come in here and look at thing's. I thought that this was something that most DM's are being confronted with. New PC's coming into the game with the image of being able to smack stuff around with little effort.. able to see miles without a blur.. being able to smell thing's that most other humanoids can't.. etc. have fun.
simpkin 09-16-04, 02:43 PM	I figured I would add my story. The parties bard had learned that a love-interest of his has rescently been inflicted with lycanthropy. Durring one of the first nights after infliction she had rampaged a small town only to be captured by some rangers in the area who then sold her to a group of gypsies passing through the area. The gypsies ran sort of a freak show, with various oddities, from goat boys on down the line to the werewolf. Enter the PCs: The bard and the wizard had seperated from the fighter and cleric who were off tending to some other business. Several hours before show time, the bard and wizard decided that they had best make an attempt to bust out the love-interest / werewolf. Now the werewolf was being store in a caged wagon. Essentially a cage mounted on a wagon base, except that the outter walls of the cage were covered with a layer of wood, to prevent people from viewing prematurely. One side of the wagon had hinges and a latch on the walls so that they could be pulled open revealing the contents of the wagon. On the back of the wagon was a door that could be opened to reveal the cage door. Two gypsies were guarding the wagon at the time. With some lucky rolls the pcs manage to sneak up to the wagon and hide under it, where for the next 10 minutes they debate what they are going to do. (At the time I was tending to the fighter and cleric). Returning to the wizard and bard: DM (me): Ok you've had more than enough time for planning, what did you decide you are going to do now? Players: Ok we are going to reach out from the wagon, grab the gypsies by the ankels and attempt to pull them under the wagon where we'll knock them out. DM: You realize you are looking at a trip roll along with some other intense rolls for a bard and wizard right? Players: Yup. *Dice are rolled* The wizard gets incredibly lucky (19-20s on every roll) and managed to accomplish just that (1 guard down) the bard however isn't nearly as lucky, managing to trip the gypsie who then begins to yell for help. DM: Ok you have one gypsie unconscious, the other is screaming for help what do you? Bard: I run over and open the door on the back of the wagon. DM: You see the bars of a large iron cage on the other side, it appears that the outside wood was just a covering, the door into the cage itself are on the other side. Bard: I open them. DM: They are locked. Wizard: I cast knock. DM: By the time you finish your spell you can see several other gypsies heading to your area they'll arrive in approximately 3 rounds, what are you doing? Players: We dash into the cage and close the doors behind us, and do our best to secure them closed. DM: :confused: DM: (rolls listen checks for pcs) Several moments later you hear the sound of a lock snapping into position. Bard: ****, what are we doing in here again? :nonono: Wizard: **** if I know, I was just following you! :uh-huh: Needless to say later when the love-interest/werewolf changed shape, the pc's were mauled. Ever since then those two players have had a hatred for gypsies.
Ricky 09-16-04, 03:29 PM	A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... Ok, when I was 8 years old, in my parents' house... I'm playing 1st ed. with my older brother (the DM) and my cousin (a thief). I'm playing a good cleric. We're playing the original Temple of Elemental Evil. We're in an evil cleric's bedroom. We search it and find, among other things, a book. DM: What do you do? Me: I open the book. DM (with a not-so-subtle hint): The cover is very black. Me: I've got a bad feeling about this...I open the book. It turns out it was a book of vile darkness, which drove me insane because I was a good cleric. As a result of that insanity, I became schizophrenic with 3 additional personalities: a paladin, a barbarian, and an assassin. Strangely enough, I didn't just think I was these classes, I actually gained their class abilities. Ah, that was dumb...
Lily_Knight 09-16-04, 07:43 PM	The Sorcerer in the party doesn't take mage armor, shield, or any defensive spell until 3rd level. When asked why, he replies, "i thought i'd come across a magic item for defense." The same Sorcerer, still running around with a 13 AC, has his choice between a Figurine of wonderous power (lion) and a mace of disruption and picks the mace. Apparently, being nearly mauled to death by it (remember, 13 AC) while in a fight with its then owner didn't press upon him the effectiveness of having a lion as a gaurdian. At 3rd level, the mighty Sorcerer with the mace of disruption and will to flee all melee combat, takes Persuasion as his feat. HAHA! We must share a player! I swear that is almost as silly as one girl in our campaign! One time, she tried to mail her character sheet to our DMs house (for reasons we still don't know). Well knowing the Australian Postal System, the letter gets lost. Never saw that sheet again. Her first question at the next game was; "Hey, do you remember if I was a sorcerer or a bard?" " :bored:
Callista 09-16-04, 08:07 PM	Schizophrenic, huh? (Aside: Multiple personality disorder is the correct name; schizophrenia has more to do with delusions and hallucinations than multpile personalities.) Did you have four different character sheets, and switch among them at random (determined by dice, I presume)? That might actually have been fun. I've got to try that sometime; though obviously the different personalities won't gain experience nearly as fast as a normal character would. Still would be fun though. As for stories of my own? Hmm, well... there was the Neutral wizard with the Wisdom of 6 who fireballed his Evil comrades... three times in the same battle. His reasoning? "Well, it won't kill my allies, but it will kill our enemies." The Blackguard eventually tortured him to death...
Nianth 09-16-04, 10:03 PM	one of my favorites. Picture a really stupid player who has played for 5 years now and is still really bad at it. On a deep swamp riding magical turtles so we dont drown. We encounter a friggen huge guardian dragon. level 9 sorc I fireball it.
Tibs 09-16-04, 10:49 PM	Not a DM, but I do have a story of a dumb PC (namely, myself). My friends and I were exploring a dungeon hidden beneath the home of a cleric who was suspected of killing his Patriarch. At some point, out party came across a room full of alchemical equipment...and spiders. Lots of spiders. During the course of the fight, our wizard died; after the spiders wer killed, a search of thier bodies produced a vial of yellow powder which none of us could identify. Having no practical means of restoring our dead wizard friend, we did the only thing we could think to do. We fed him the powder. Turns out, that was a bad idea-a coule rounds later, he came staggering back to life-as it were-as a zombie. Not a lich, just a zombie. Needless to say, his player was pretty ******, but I like to think we made it up to him by feeding that same powder to the suspected cleric(who, unfortunately, the township believed to be innocent). We ended up being chased out of town.
Ohtar Turinson 09-16-04, 11:33 PM	Not quite as dumb as many of these listed, but bad enough. The 5 PCs (7th level at the time) battle their way through a Goblinoid Temple of Tiamat. They slay most of the temple leadership, but they also set off an alarm bell in the process, alerting the whole (extremely large) compound. They then blunder into the treasure chamber, slay the guardian and find the treasure and the item they're looking for. Then the players spend 45 minutes debating how to divide the treasure, including writing it on their character sheets, rather than just dumping everything into the recently found portable hole and getting out of there. I ruled that the division of most of the treasure took about 10 minutes in game. I also ruled that the rooms they had stormed through had filled up with goblins. They also didn't watch their rear as they hacked their way out of the temple, through the goblin horde. They didn't watch out for leveled goblinoids, which they had already run into several of. They weren't paying attention to the invisible hobgoblin assassin who killed the sorcerer until it was too late. There's also the one about the suicidal elf monk, but that's another story entirely...
zambuka 09-17-04, 10:00 AM	Playing Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil. Party is rather odd having a Genasi, A tiefling, a monk (we assumed human), a bagpipe toting dwarven bard (me) and the star of this little episode a wild elf druid (who carried most of her plant based material component growing out of the tangled mass that was her hair). We were in an abandoned village, on the second story of a two story house. This house was made pretty much completely of timber. Now we were busy fighting something (undead I think, but I can't remember exactly). The druid used flaming sphere to deal with her share and then sent it downstairs to deal with the nasties down there. She then procedes to roll the sphere up and down the stairs to set them on fire, "...to make sure nothing else follows us up here...". "ummm.. how are we supposed to get out of here?" was the question asked. "I didn't think of that" was the response. Needless to say, since only one of us had any ability to climb (the tiefling rogue) our exit was a rather brief but painful plummet the 15 feet down from the second story. This is when we came up with GTRU. Greenpeace Tactical Response Unit.
Amaron Blackthorn 09-17-04, 11:03 AM	Isnt that first adventure described a little much for 1-4th level characters?
Ricky 09-17-04, 11:40 AM	Schizophrenic, huh? (Aside: Multiple personality disorder is the correct name; schizophrenia has more to do with delusions and hallucinations than multpile personalities.) Did you have four different character sheets, and switch among them at random (determined by dice, I presume)? That might actually have been fun. I've got to try that sometime; though obviously the different personalities won't gain experience nearly as fast as a normal character would. Still would be fun though. You know, I don't remember how we played it...I think the DM decided that I would use my stats for all the 4 personalities, but he would substitute the class features of the other classes when appropriate. This was 1st ed., so this was a lot easier than it sounds. :)
Echo35 09-17-04, 01:13 PM	Howdy all! Im in the same party as flamefist drunkinmonk here, and like he said, we have some real boneheads in the party. For example: DM: You see a trap door in the ground. Fighter: (yes, the same one) I'll open it. DM: You can't it's stuck. Fighter: I'll jump up and down on top of it untill it falls open! DM: :nonono: Rouge: I'm peering through the gate. DM: As you do, you accidently fall through into the room. Four orcs are looking right at you. Rouge: I'm making a hide check! DM: You can see a large digester standing on top of the cliff. Fighter (same one) I'm bull rushing the cliff so I can knock it off! DM: :uh-huh: I'll add more when I can think of some.
John Bezo 09-17-04, 03:24 PM	All right my turn. This is a while back in 2e, near the end of a 4 year (IRL) long quest to save the world from an elder god of chaos and its splintered life fragments (read - shadow-demons). The group conceits of a mage/cleric, a fighter, a pally, a elf mage, a ranger and a npc LE drow who is acting as a guide (trying to save the world makes for strange party members) All epic. They have just returned to their home world after a plane-spanning quest to find the ultimate weapon to kill the BBEG. The pop onto the planet though a fixed gate that is h*** and gone from where the need to be. The forces of evil have been hunting them for some time. Demons, evil wizards, drow, dragons, etc. They are fully aware that the bad guys want them dead and are very well equipped and funded. In the midst of deciding how to get to where they need to go, I casually remind the mage/cleric that he recently found the Air boat spell and hasn't had a chance to use it yet. So amidst a chorus of naysayers and requests for t-port spells, the mage cleric decides that it would be nice to "See the country-side as we travel” and off in the airboat they go. (Insert evil DM laugh) At their level the air boat can travel about 800 mph, the group is only going about 200 because the M/C designed the air-boat to look like a Viking long boat, (read - no seats, seat belts, hand holds, nothing) About 2 hours into their flight 2 airboats drop out of the clouds in the night sky, filled with strike teams of drow fighters and wizards. They pull right along the PCs airboat, and are preparing to board. The M/C happens to go first the next round, He looks at me with a gleam in his eye like he is about to "beard the lion" and says, " a do a full loop to get behind them" As the airboat rockets into a loop the entire party except the M/C is tossed off the PC’s airboat and into a free fall. As the same round continues 1 of the drow airboats slides right under the falling PCs and they land on the deck surrounded by 20 20th level drow fighters. The second drow air boat climbs to the right, while archers fire on the M/C who is all alone now and sitting there with his mouth open. By a quirk of fate the fighter, the elf wizard, the pally and the drow guide all go before the bad guys the next round. All but the pally leap over the edge, trusting that 3 epic level characters can handle free falling, and the pally whips up a griffin from a scroll. And the drow proceed to attack the ranger and the pally, the pally deals reasonable well with it, being heavily armored and protected. The Range has a fairly bad round and is not doing so well. But now he gets to go. Instead of leaving like the rest of the group he (thru the use of an item) polymorphs into a huge white dragon. (BTW the drow airboat is stationary now; the other is off dog fighting with the M/C) Next round the Ranger now dragon goes 1st and being worried that the Pally wasn't able to get off the airboat, even though a griffin with saddle was right next to him. The ranger spends his whole action grappling with the pally so he can "fly him to safety". So the pally goes and tries disparately to break free of his "friends" grasp while shouting to be let go. The drow go and hack into the dragon. Next round the ranger/dragon wins initive again and being really upset with the drow who just whacked on him, he decids to instead of flying the pally to "safety” he will enact another ability and fire ball the drow. 1st - he is right next to the target 2nd - he is still holding the pally right next to the target 3rd - he has taken the form of a WHITE dragon 4th - in 2e drow had insane SR, 50% + 2% per level=90% 5th - he has taken 1 rd of 10 20th level fighters and 1 rd of 20 20th level fighters attacking him. Fire ball, drow untouched, pally crispy and ranger/white dragon is now a smoking ruin plummeting to earth well below 0 hitpoints. The pally ends up healing him and getting his griffon under him before they hit the ground. The party regroups and deals with the pursuing drow strike teams and then t-ports to their original destination. This one battle inspired 1 question and 1 player rule. Question: If a dragon is wielding a paladin is the paladin considered a magic weapon, or a holy weapon, and is he an exotic weapon? The rule: Never ever, use a mode of transport the DM suggests... J.
Pariah-by-Knight 09-18-04, 09:13 AM	Ever hear the one about the paladin that attacked a Baatezu city? I was there, it was not a pretty sight. Just use your imaginations.
Dragonlancer 09-18-04, 01:55 PM	DM: You encounter a group of orcs wearing leather armor and holding longswords led by a human holding a spear. The man wear fine exotic clothing and bears many tatoos in his hands. Roll for initiative. (The party's druid plays first) DM: You rolled the highest initiative, what do you do? Druid: I take my rope from by backpack and knot it to make a lasso. Others: :mymy: (Others are engaging in battle while the human and our elven wizard are casting protective spells.) DM: It's your turn again Druid: I throw the lasso to the human spellcaster to prevent him from casting more spells (Everyone really doubt that he would succed but he made succesful ranged touch attack, Strength check and Use Rope skill.) DM: You manage to grab the spellcaster firmly with your rope. He seems unable to move his hands. Druid: OH YES!! He won't escape now! (Everyone's really excited!) DM: Orc's turn. He goes near the spellcster and cuts the rope with its longsword. The spellcaster is free to move again. :mymy: (Deep silence...) No comments... :looloo:
flamefist drunkenmonk 09-21-04, 05:06 PM	:bump: wizards have the best smilies :D
Nianth 09-22-04, 03:24 PM	*This is someone who plays with nianth on his account* I think I win for flaming sphere stupidity. I managed to die and take out an ecosystem with me. First year I ever played I was playing a sorcerer, lvl five or six I believe. So we encounter a weaker dragon in a large field covered in drygrass. Having not read the spell carefully I believed flaming sphere levitated. So I cast it and the DM proceeded to tell me I was a complete idiot and explained my mistake. So by the end of the battle I had done alot of damage to myself from the plain, the dragon had picked me up, flew up and dropped me to my firey death. By the end of the fight the ENTIRE plain had burnt to the ground and my group had taken shelter in a dirt clearing. yay. :eek:
flowerew 09-23-04, 01:44 AM	hehee, i played for a year as a player before my controlling instinct took hold and i became a DM. my worst adventure was as follows. we just found a Rod of summat, cant remember exactly what, it was a homebrew artifact. we'r all epic, the rod is gently smoldering. outr wizard picks it up and examines it, setting it down he begins pushing in places and muttering command words while examining his books (which ironically enough the DM allowed him to bring with :uh-huh: after about a minute (IRL) of this the barbarian (Int/Wis 5) waddles over and stared at the wizard, then the staff. the player gets an evil gleam in his eye, and proceeds to pick up the staff, and use it as a backscratcher. use your imagination. :ayyyy!: :turkey: the cleric resurrects him, and a couple thousand gold later, the barbarianlooks at the wizard and says "wha append to the warm itchy ting?" wizard casts some contingency from a scroll on the fighter with a sunburst spell right on him triggered by seeing any humanoid for the first time. and tells him he can find it at the bar. all players grin evilly as the barbarian totters off, a mment later there's an explosion and kegs of beer go flying. :mage: :thumbsup: :schemes:
The Vorpal Tribble 09-23-04, 02:32 AM	Ok, my party is temporarily within the plane of dreams. Whatever they think or fear, manifests. Simple enough. Had them write up about their most common dreams, what they normally are having to fight off with their nightmares, what ability they commonly have in their dreams etc, and weaving it into this place. They are actually playing themselves within this dream world and two of them have a complete lack of forethought. --- Ok, so these guys have been in here for a small time and what they think comes to be, its real, and so finally one of the players in his wisdom says (have it logged, this is an online campaign)... *** Player - "Okay J-Man. Think. You obviously aren't in Kansas City anymore." Like a scientist he tries to consider what could have happened, reasoning that he may just be asleep, but mindlessly and meekly something escapes his lips. "Am I dead?" Me - *sigh* A scene starts to form as you utter those words. You find yourself lying in a deep hole of moist dirt, rain falling heavily upon your face. As you look up a clump of wet mud strikes you in the chest. The face of a young Judy Garland looks down, her face partially covered by a veil of black silk. She tosses down a single red rose, and then she steps back from the hole. The end. *sighs again* --- Meanwhile, one of the others learns to control his dream... Player - "Wow... that was weird... let's try something else..." Aaron pictures Amber in his mind, not just her, but of the times they spent together, and focuses on them Me - The scene of your living room appears, though only the furnishings, and Amber is sitting up on the couch. The TV is also on, and it plays 'Now for our feature presentation.' Amber pats the couch cushion and smiles, beckoning you. A scene flashes by on the screen, depicting an area of grey fog. A couch rests in the midst of the fog showing the backs of a couple sitting and watching a movie. The words 'Jason vs. Freddy' fades onto the screen and then fades away, showing a dark shape holding a large, glimmering knife and advancing on the clueless sitters... Player - Aaron's mind instinctively wanders to thoughts of making love to Amber. After all... they would never make it through a movie, and he leans over and kisses her, revealing his intentions #1. Horror movies gets him in the mood? #2. Was the hint to vague? So... Me - A tearing pain suddenly takes your neck, followed by dead numbness. Sitting beside you is Freddy, grinning his richtus smirk. On the tv screen Jason stands behind the couch, pulling yet another knife from somewhere about his person. Freddy puckers his mangled lips and makes smooching motions. "Not too bright is he?" Freddy remarks to someone behind you, baring his teeth. The end. :twitch:
Sucineri 09-23-04, 05:12 AM	I am the DM..sometimes I let things get a little too out of control if I do say so myself. After the group (monk1, monk2, cleric, psychic warrior) finds the "beerhammer" (smack something with the warhammer and beer comes out) in a secret room of a dungeon resting in the hands of an ancient statue of a dwarven fighter..the party decided to move on their way. They come upto a fountain pouring a red liquid into it's basin..the group is REALLY thirsty (stupid people never writing down adventuring gear on their sheets..grr! :D) and so they decide to take a sip. The stuff is pretty strong and spicy. Monk2, Cleric, and Psychic Warrior fail fort saves and end up belching flamey goodness (firebreath). M2 specifically said that he was looking directly at PW when they took a sip. Now PW has no hair left on his whole head and part of his robes are charred. PW proceeds to bash M2 in the face with the beerhammer, drenching M2 in strong alchohol. M2 likes the taste of the alchohol so they get back on their journey..M2 whacks himself a few times since the alchohol is getting him a little tipsy to say the least..so now he is solidly drunk now and ends up wearing a matching pair of dire rat armguards (basically the "innards" pushed out through the mouth from the backdoor area), a matching pair of dire rat slippers (jumped on them with such force it was like jumping into a muddy hole..you know the kind..where the suction likes to steal your shoes from your feet.), and an ice mephit wrapped around his head as a hat. M2 for some reason or another through his drunkenness starts up a fight with M1 (who is a VoPeace Monk) which M1 wants no part of (and remember, M2 is wearing a bit of fur and other icky bits..and he is covered in strong alchohol) and tries to calm M2 down. M2 gets aggrivated and punches M1 in the stomach. I had M1 roll a fort save and he failed..which results in HIS charge of firebreath going off..setting M2 completely on fire like he was an oil covered rag. PW proceeds to "put out the fire" by beating M2 repeatedly with the beerhammer. In the end M1 came out without a scratch (although a bruised stomach), M2 ends up burninated and crispy, PW ends up leaving the group (In game..he didn't leave my house or anything), and the Cleric ends up in complete shock and confusion and stays there for a few days trying to figure out what the hell just happened. :) *EDITTED* Oh, and where would I find stats on these cursed dice that were mentioned earlier in this thread? I can't find em in my DMG. And as far as the guy constantly showing up to whine about how people's stories don't work..dude..just shut up and go away..I know if I were a high level wizard or something and had some cursed dice like I would set them down out in the open on a table or something just incase someone was stupid enough to break in and use them. It is a freaking cursed item..it totally screwed the guy over. That is funny as all hell to me! :)
Tifus Artwin 09-23-04, 05:49 AM	Sucineri:You will find the acursed dice of Olidammara in the Epic HB. Along with a few other nicitys. I had one for this board, but because if all of you i have lost it in the numerous bouts of laughter, so i blame you on a wasted post :D . Keep the laughs comeing :bump:
Chasmodai 09-23-04, 08:13 AM	Olidammara's Dice left out in the open? I doubt any wizard would be dumb enough to do so, even if it was a defense mechanism. Besides, I don't really think the player in question did something dumb... it was just a pair of dice! Not like he had Detect Cursed Item to find out the pair of dice wasn't just a pair of dice. Plus, what he wanted to do was pretty cool. No offense to the DM, but I see this more as a way to just screw your player over for no reason whatsoever. It may be funny, but not to the poor sod who got the receiving end of it. Like I said, not like he was given obvious (or even vague) clues as to what the dice actually were. *All that is said above is just an opinion. It is your prerogative to read and respect it if you so wish to, just as it is my prerogative to read and respect your opinion if I do so wish. Let's be friends, people :D .
Arakano 09-23-04, 10:58 AM	Alright, a story from my favourite idiot-player: He played an orkish necromancer, constantly hiding his identy behind his shadowy robe (yeah, classic... :D ). He also carried a large battlestaff made of bone. So, the hroup went through a large, free city - meaning there is no city guard. However, no guards does NOT mean there´s no power center. Instead, the city is ruled by two mighty guilds: The guilds of thieves and the guild of beggars. The necromancer, being off on his own, decides to club a beggar to death becuse aforementioned beggar had dared to asked him if he could spare some change. SO, he exactly tells me: "I beat him dead, then continue to beat him with my staff on the head till his brain spills out." Alright, so he does. Meanwhile, a group of hulking brutes comes walking closer - all members of the guild of beggars :smirk: DM: The brutes approach you, their leader asks you in a menacing way what you are doing... Necromancer: Ok, I quickly cast "animate dead" on the dead beggar. Then I tell the brutes me and the beggar are good buddies and just playing. DM: Alright, you do so, and the beggar-zombies replies: YES MASTER, while his brain drips on the street... Needless to say, the brutes did SOMEHOW not believe the bluff... :D
Amaron Blackthorn 09-23-04, 02:12 PM	I think that if we were to write all of the idiotic things in the world that our players have done, not all of the books or servers in the world could contain them all.
Perseus 09-23-04, 03:06 PM	I won't call him an idiot because he was a newbie, but here goes. The pc ranger spends 20 minutes of actual time sneaking up on the orc encampment and surveying the scene. He then stands up out of the tall grass and shouts back to the party to come up. :confused:
flamefist drunkenmonk 09-23-04, 04:52 PM	i think our best noob moment was our 30 min door opening. First game ever with 5 noobs. This is how a lot of it went Me: Rogue, open the door thats what they do. But how should we stand Rogue: I DONT WANNA OPEN THE DOOR IT MIGHT BE TRAPPED Wizard: He has a point, it might be a fireball trap Druid: AH! there might be a gelatious cube! Me: :OMG! wow we are paraniod Fighter: Whatever i just wanna kill something Me: ok there isnt a gelatious cube behind the darn door ... rogue just open it Druid: wait no ... we need a party order Me: (im leader just so you know) fine ::places figures:: Wizard: I dont want to be there.. monk (me) go there so u can get flanking bonus's Me: OK fine.. im there everone happy Rogue: what if didnt find the trap? Fighter: How about this ... iv got the most hp ILL open the door Party: NO !! , your saves suck ! Fighter: :mad: Me: I KICK THE DAMN DOOR DOWN!!!! dm: the door swings open after one kick AND .... nothing happens... there are 2 orcs in the room... they laugh at you for spending so much time on the door... roll initiative party: :uh-huh: whats that dm: :nonono: ... its gonna be a long night by the end of the night it only took 2 min to open doors !!! lol
BlueLion 09-23-04, 09:58 PM	In a recent campaign, I played an absent-minded wizard. While infiltrating a noble's house where some cultists were having a secret meeting, I did something a bit dumb. We were busy taking down the guards in the entrance hall, and I was a bit bored :rolleyes: because I wasn't much good in melee, being a wizard and all. I decided to jump the gun and do some exploring - before the fight was over. So I ducked under the clashing swords and niftily exited to the next room. As you can imagine, my pals said :confused: "What are you doing" In the next room, I met an evil cultist mage, who immediately started preparing for battle. Not waiting, I dodged past him and opened the door into the next room. There I was met by three more guards. By now, the other PC's were just :mymy: :mymy: :mymy: I ignored them and ran upstairs under a hail of arrows, leaving my poor companions to deal with it all. I strolled down the landing, opening doors as I went past to see if I could find a safe place to take refuge. As my friends were swarmed in by enemies, I steadily alerted every single cultist in my hapless wanderings. :eek: We barely survived. Needless to say, my fellow PC's kept as tight leash on me after that, and constantle reminded me of 'that time when you ran around like a headless chicken opening all the doors and getting us killed'.
FenixNightShade 09-24-04, 01:13 AM	Heh... Mine are: Druid: I cast Entangle! Me: Really? You know there's no plants here (don't argue, it's a house rule) Druid: Oh... Umm... *2 minutes of looking through the PHB* Me: :zzz: Druid: *another minute* Umm.. well, damn, then i stand defensively Or the ever popular Me: The creature falls... EVERYONE: SEARCH!! Me: You find a dead body... :nonono: (Usually this occurs with some sort of large magical beast, you know, the kind that doesn't have any pockets to hold all the loot the PCs are expecting) Me: You notice 2 trolls, a winter wolf, and about 20 hobgoblins in the courtyard Sorc: I'm going to run out and use my Dance of Ruin (BoVD) Me: :uh-huh: Sorc: I run out into the courtyard Me: How far? Sorc: Far enough to affect them all. Me *Rolls, Rolls, Rolls, Rolls, Rolls, Rolls* Reflex check... *Rolls* Ok, you take 47 damage from all the AoO (PC has 16 health) Last week Me: The Giant Eagles ferry you all towards your destination, you notice BrightStone Keep to the West, as your village shrinks in the distance *Player starts screwing around* Me: Roll Will save :schemes: Player :uh-huh: Ok, 21 Me: You develop a fear of flying... :devil: Me: The rest of you notice Player is gripping his eagle tightly, crying like a little girl and probably wetting himself Moral of the Story: Pay Attention Dammit!
JabberWocky 09-24-04, 01:30 AM	A 5th-level wizard destined to become an Ur Priest (BoVD, Complete Divine) goes out into the woods to find this ancient hag that is supposed to live there. Thinking that "hag" simply meant "old woman," she didn't quite expect the inky-black skinned thing she found. The Night Hag was supposed to give her quest number 1 out of 3 to become an Ur Priestess (my game, my rules, go figure). After explaining how this soul-extracting machine works, the night hag hands it over and tells the wizard to bring back five souls of the "innocent." The wizard nods, understands, and then pulls a cold iron dagger she found and stabs the night hag. :OMG! Why, you might ask? She thought the hag might have some money on her.
Dykstra 09-24-04, 04:09 AM	....nope, still not at 1001 so anyway, our party is in desperate need of a ship, but have very little gold. We find a dwarf who is captain of a "ship" (was almost submarine like, those silly dwarves and their technology). Anyway, our dwarf manages to convince this captain to ferry us where we need to go on the condition that the dwarf went to the local bar and confronted a man that had been pestering this captain. He agreed, and i, the half-orc fighter went with him just in case... So i place myself by the door of the tavern, trying to fit in as well as my CHA 6-orc-double axe weilding self could fit in while the dwarf talked to this man. a few moments later after words were exchanged the dwarf felt a sharp tug on his beard. It was the man picking on him the way the dwarven seacaptain explained. Dwarf: ok, i hit him, i rolled a natural 20 DM: you hit him with your fist right? Dwarf: I rolled a natural 20 to confirm, no, with my waraxe DM: *laughs* with your waraxe, youre sure? Dwarf: yup, i deal him 51 damage DM: ok, he's chopped in 2 me: i run to the dock as fast as i can the dwarf made it out alive somehow, and we got free passage on the ship, pity we (or the dwarf captain) could never set foot in the biggest known city (not to mention the biggest trade city where almost all of our contacts were) ever again.
Ratheus 09-24-04, 05:31 AM	My monk (Kai Silentfist) was seperated and tied up inside a HAY SILO with hay everywhere (my mistake, bad rolls, got beaten down and tied up). Our wizard decided to send in a flaming sphere to clear out the enemies (one level 3 fighter), igniting the whole silo on fire. After I was released, I immediately popped our own wizard with stunning fist. He didn't understand the problem! I took like three rounds of 1d10 fire damage from his overzealous act!
Arakano 09-24-04, 05:34 AM	Allright, time to bring out the big guns... As an introduction: The following episode took place in a campaign where a confirmed critical allowed you to choose where to hit. Made a crit more devastating, admittedly, but heck, it also was a different system... ;) So, we had one more quarrel in our group about the right course to take. Suddenly, our Group-Idiot (yes, the same one as the orcish necromancer) had enough of it and proclaims: GI: "I bite the dwarf in the balls!" Me: :uh-huh: Dwarf: "If he really TRIES it, he´ll get an axe in his neck!" This warning did not impress the GI. He really tried to bite the dwarves *********, despite the fact that those were safely protected by an ancle-long chainmail... As he bows down, the dwarf swings his axe. Crit, confirmed, GI beheaded. Group rolling on the floor laughing, me still :uh-huh:
The Vorpal Tribble 09-24-04, 01:32 PM	Man, half of the dudes would be out of my campaign so fast it'd make their mithril spin. Here is a list of nearly two THOUSAND stupid, 'Last Words' of players. Biggest collection I've ever found: http://www.wfrp.de/hosted/flw/en/index.html
bloodycard 09-24-04, 02:41 PM	All of these append in the same session. the PC where trap in a labyrinth. DM(me): You see a human sleeping on the floor. PC orc: I tell him to wake up. DM: the human is still sleeping. PC orc: I throw a rock at is face. DM: ... DM: Ok, you throw a rock in is face. the human wake up and see you. take is sword and attack you. PC orc: :mad: Why the human attack me! I did nothing wrong! DM: You just throw a rock in is face and are you aware that you are an orc! Later DM: you have captured a goblin, what do you do? PC: I tell to the goblin where is the exit is or my lizardfolk will eat you alive. DM: You dont understand what the goblin is talking. PC: Does anyone understand goblin? Other PC: no. PC: Ok the goblin is not useful. Hades (lizardfolk) eat him! DM: Hades is eating the goblin, the goblin is sceaming and die of an agonising dead. PC orc: Now Goblin Tell us where is the exit is now! Me and the other PC: :uh-huh: PC orc: Why the goblin is not taking? DM: The Goblin is dead dumb**s! Later DM: You kill the monster what do you do? PC: I search the room. DM: You have found a Dagger. PC: Wizard is the dagger is magical or not? PC wizard: I use detect magic on the dagger, does the dagger is magical? DM: Yes. PC wizard: the dagger is magical but cant identify it at the moment because I dont have the material component. PC: Ok I will put the dagger in my backpack. PC orc: Wait. Stab me with the dagger! Me and the other PC: :uh-huh: PC wizard: are you sure about that? PC orc: Sure do it! PC: Ok. I hit the orc with the dagger. DM: Orc you take 3 damage and roll a Fortitude save. PC orc: 17 what append? DM: nothing append. PC orc: Ok stab me again! Me and the other PC: :looloo: PC: Ok, I hit the stupid orc with the dagger. DM: Ok, Orc you take 4 damage and roll a Fortitude save. PC orc: Natural 1. DM: you lose 13 point of Con, Your character is dead because you have now 0 Con. PC orc:..... DM: You really do have an orc brain do you!
flamefist drunkenmonk 09-24-04, 03:03 PM	ohhh man thats funny ... what was his intelligence (in character.. if its low at least he is roleplaying it )
bloodycard 09-24-04, 03:18 PM	ohhh man thats funny ... what was his intelligence (in character.. if its low at least he is roleplaying it ) that why I only allow him to play only dump human or half-orc fighter or barbarian. :)
flamefist drunkenmonk 09-24-04, 05:48 PM	iv actually done stuff like that before to see what it does... i got lucky the only time i drank something ... water that looks like fire is usually not good. BUT .. water that looks like fire that is a fire breath potion IS ... (as long as ur not looking at anyone :D)
bloodycard 09-24-04, 06:08 PM	I have a more stuff that player did. This time he played a dwarf dwarven defender. DM: You have captured the killer. PC: We know that you are the killer! Killer: You dont have proof that I killed the 3 commoners. PC: Yes. we have proof that someone see you killed the commoners. Killer: Oh yeah, who is the one? PC dwarf: You see that kid over there, he saw you kill the commoners. DM::uh-huh:. Me and the others: :banghead:. PC elf (me): You call youself an Dwarven Defender! PC human: The kid gonna die stupid! PC elf (me): Is there was enough air in your cave when you leave your home! (dwarf cave :D ) This time he played a human LV:4 ranger (the first part has posted earlier) Guard: go see the captain in is room. PC ranger:OK. DM: as you go down to see the captain you are in front of a door. PC ranger:I knock to the door. DM: Who is it? PC ranger: The captain! DM and others::rofl: . DM: Im am the captain! PC ranger: No I am the Captain! Stop session for 15 minutes because the DM and a PC where on the floor :rofl:. Later DM: Ranger you are in the forest and you have no ration left want do you do? PC ranger: I make a Survival check to see an animal to eat. DM: Ok. You see a rabbit. What do you do? (DM used the dire rat for rabbit stat) PC ranger: I attack the rabbit whit my sword. DM: You miss, The rabbit attack you! After a long and epic battle (a la Gabrielle Vs the rabbit in Xena), the ranger barly survive the battle (5 HP left). PC ranger: You :censored: rabbit! Now I will eat you! DM: Ranger, make a Spot check. PC ranger: 22. What do I see? DM: You see a bear and it look kindof ungry. PC ranger: I take the :censored: rabbit and run. DM: The bear run faster than you. PC ranger: I throw the :censored: rabbit at the bear. DM: The bear stop running at you and start eating the rabbit. PC ranger: :censored: bear! Later DM: The ship is now sicking, ranger and wizard you see a safety boat. PC wizard: Ranger help me take my girlfriend stuff and get out of this mess! PC ranger: Ok! DM: Ranger, Pc wizard give you a cage. PC ranger: Is there something in the cage? DM: A rabbit. PC ranger: I throw the :censored: rabbit overboard! PC wizard: :rant: What did you do that for! It was my girlfriend familiar you :censored: ranger! I am going to kill you! Me and the others: :rofl: .
Sucineri 09-24-04, 07:02 PM	Well, I probably would have thrown the rabbit overboard myself since I (as ranger) would have by now had a sneaking suspicious about rabbits. :)
Piff 09-24-04, 10:10 PM	Me not learning to keep my mouth shut. Me tied on a pole talking to 2 high Orc shamans: So who do u worship? Shaman1: The great god Grimish. (Fire Orc) Me: Grimish hmmm... Man you guys are stupid just like him. Shaman2: *pulls our flame whip* Quite you. *hits me* Me: Come on i know Grimish Shaman1: YOu lie Me: no i met him 5 times already. All 5 times he tried to kill me but that doesnt matter. Shaman2: *smiles* so Grimish tried to kill you Me: ....No! he didnt try to kill me. NO,no no no. Shamans start praying and Out of the fire comes their god. Grimish: Who calls for me! *looks at me* YOU *looks at shamans* You've done a great service. Me: *nervous laugh* hi Grimish Grimish: I cant belive these orcs have captured you Me: Me either i mean they are so stupid Grimish: *Impales me with a fire spike* Silence! I will take great pleasure in killing you After some more torture Me: this could only get worse if Karath comes (karath Shadow king god) Karath: He's MIne Grimish! Me: awww ****. In the end my god freed me before i died at their hands.
Orange Toque 09-25-04, 02:05 AM	my pc's were recently captured by barbarians and taken into the barbarian leader's main room. they were tied up and lain on the floor and then the barbarians left through a door that was left open. dm(me):so what are you doing? rogue:i'm going to try to get out. (after a few die rolls.) dm:yeah, you get out with no problem. rogue:do you guys want me to cut your ropes? i've can cut your ropes if you like. dm:give me a spot check. (after various numbers are called out.) dm:you all see a guard who is standing right outside of the door, looking in and shaking his head at Cre'. (the rogue.) guard: i think it would be a good idea if you laid down on the ground and put your ropes back on. at which point, the rogue laid down on the ground and retied himself up.
Talrassha00 09-25-04, 06:14 AM	So many stories, when you DM with a group like mine. I have one guy who loved to make big fighter types that just focus on dealing alot of damage and nothing else...no mobility, no saves, nothing else. I ran into a great trap without even realizing it in a pre-made adventure. DM:There is a 20ft slope going down into the room below. The slope is covered in a thin layer of ice. Near the bottom you see a symbol on the ground, but you cannot make it out from up here. Big Burly fighter: I will lead the group and head down there first. DM: Make a balance check BBF:Ugh I got a 4 total. DM: You lose you balance and tumble down 20ft. You take 2d6 damage, when you get down there you notice the symbol glowing. Make a will save (of course he fails). You trigger a fear spell and up top you see a powerful looking undead figure sneaking up behind your party. ---For the next 15 rounds until the PC's could handle the lich, the BBF would run up the slope (I gave him a -4 penalty to his balance check for running at full speed away, up a slop), fail and fall back down for 1d6 damage, and fail another will save when he would retrigger the trap. It was great watching a 9th level fighter almost die 1d6 at a time. ~~ While playing a somewhat eccentric halfling druid, there was a wizard in the group that hated my "jokes". He would always scold me, so I would always hide his stuff. It was a love hate relationship. Anyway one time he truly angered me (I can't remember how) just before we got on a 3 day boat ride. Boy did he pay. Everyday I took every 1st level spell slot and higher and memmorized a silenced "dawn spell" from the MoTW. A 0 level spell with no save, lol he was so infuriated (OOC) and in character he could not figure out why he could not sleep. Every time he switched quarters, I would follow him in the form of some small animal. Everytime he got close to falling asleep..."I cast dawn!". I would like to mention I had a ring of sustenance and therefore actually had 24 hours a day to do this. Thank god there were no encounters on that sea trip!
Sucineri 09-25-04, 06:42 AM	A 0 level spell with no save, lol he was so infuriated (OOC) and in character he could not figure out why he could not sleep. Every time he switched quarters, I would follow him in the form of some small animal. Everytime he got close to falling asleep..."I cast dawn!". I would like to mention I had a ring of sustenance and therefore actually had 24 hours a day to do this. Thank god there were no encounters on that sea trip! See, this is what I like to read about right here. Someone OOC getting annoyed at another player and STILL playing their part IC without metagaming! :) You made my day :D
Amaron Blackthorn 09-25-04, 01:03 PM	Some people just cannot help doing iggnunt stuff!
Troll Slayer3 09-25-04, 01:06 PM	Hi all, nice posts, here is one from my second adventure ever. Me and my party are all traveling with a troll that i talked into following us to save his family from being tortured, slaves, etc. We are halfway there and we had to sleep, so Glok, the troll, takes first watch. DM:make wisdom checks we all wake up after a roll DM:You see Glok standing there with 2 other 10 ft. trolls talking. The other trolls are licking their lips and smiling more than they should DM: wattya do ME:i pretend to stay asleep and watch Harry:me to Jennie:so do i David:I walk up to Glok and ask him what his brothers are talkin about. (he talks troll) DM:Really? David:Ya, I trust Glok... :uh-huh: DM:Roll initiative after a lil while, i went first, killed one of the bros, and got struck in the back of the head with a mace by david who got mad at me attackin his "friends". :nonono: :twitch:
Sucineri 09-25-04, 03:49 PM	Troll Slayer3..I thought you were the paladin who everyone was trying to defend in a different thread. You said you didn't attack first..and that YOU were the one who was the troll's friend. Either you were lying to us..or what you did here is called "creative license".
flamefist drunkenmonk 09-25-04, 05:04 PM	oh who cares .. people laugh :D.. people have probably exagerated and/made things up a lot in this thread.
Vegeta8472 09-25-04, 06:09 PM	Everyday I took every 1st level spell slot and higher and memmorized a silenced "dawn spell" from the MoTW. A 0 level spell with no saveLast time I checked, the Silent Spell feat didn't take away Dawn's Fort save o_O
Devourer of Dreams 09-25-04, 09:56 PM	The party (Kobold Monk, Halfling Druid, Half-Orc Barbarian, Kalashtar Psion who specializes in fire) is trying to get to the nearest town before ettercaps get them. So far, they've escaped an ettercap trap, (with deux ex machina, they were all at either 0 Str from poison or unconsious), rested in an NPC's cottage for 3 weeks to get healed, and set off with the halfling who saved them from the ettercaps. Their guide was then killed by a cuuning ettercap trap. Me:You see 2 giant spiders and an army of ordinary spiders. (The party has some experience with swarms and knows good tactics.) Meak, you go first. Kobold Monk: I charge the nearest spider with my fist, and roll a ... 6. I miss. Me: The second spider trys to bite you, but you dodge just in time. Minharath, you're up. Kalashtar Psion: I maneuver for a better shot at the swarm and fire a fire energy ray at it. And yes, I know we're in a forest. I roll a ... 2. Oops. Me: :OMG! :looloo: :devil: (The resulting forest fire nearly kills the monk, with the psion making up for his error by staying in the middle of the fire to save the monk, finally stabilizing the monk at -9 health as the wind blows the fire away from the party.)
FrostyObsitnic 09-26-04, 09:38 PM	This just happened. The party psion was trying to gather information and figure out what was going on after they had escaped a city where two of the party members were wanted. They are on a crowded road moving very slowly, and guards are walking up and down the road to make sure no one leaves. There is a carriage up ahead and more guards. Also, though they didnt know it yet, they were all wanted, and the purpose of this caravan was to find them. You would think the psion would keep a low profile. Apparently he has a very high opinion of himself. Psion: I begin pushing through the crowd DM: You aren't making much headway, the people have nowhere to go. Psion: They can get off the road. DM: The guards are making sure they don't Psion: I keep pushing through the crowd DM: A guard comes up to you and says "sir, I'm going to have to ask you to stop that, or I'll be forced to arrest you" Psion: I say very suavely "I'm sorry sir. could you please tell me what's going on up there?" DM: He says "We are here with the magistrate, he is heading to Ventu to-" Psion: "What's he going to do there?" Party Wizard: "YOU IDIOT! YOU DO NOT ASK WHAT THE MAGISTRATE IS DOING. I'm sorry sir, carry on." you'd think the psion would get the hint... Psion: As soon as he turns his back, i begin to suavely push my way through the crowd. DM: The guard returns and says "sir, i'm not going to ask you again. Stop that." Psion: I say "I'm sorry" very suavely. Then, as he turns his back, i make a face at him. DM: Umm... Psion: Then I start suavely pushing through the crowd again. DM: The same guard comes running up past you, stops, looks at you, and keeps running. Psion: I suavely ask him what's going on. DM: He ignores you. Psion: I begin suavely pushing through the crowd. DM: Then another one comes to reprimand you. He too looks at you and runs up to the front of the line. Psion: I wonder what that's about... DM: 20 guards: "Sir, you and your companions are under arrest." Wizard (to psion): WHAT THE SPOON WAS THAT ALL ABOUT!!?!
Deedle 09-27-04, 01:33 AM	Barbarian: I push my way through to get to the monster. Annoying Wizard Noob: Hey! There's no pushing in D&D! Barbarian and I look at one another and nod. I make each of them roll a d20. The wizard loses. DM: Groomsh the Barbarian pushes you out of the way and you go sailing into the wall. Take 7 damage. Same wizard always decides to get drunk in the tavern because I was listening to the Dead Alewives D&D parody one day and she overheard it. Now she feels the need to quote it nonstop. I always lower all her stats because of it. She still hasn't taken the hint. i may just kill her character if she annoys us anymore.
Sucineri 09-27-04, 03:58 AM	Gah..I hate when people just HAVE to quote stuff nonstop. I don't care if even I like the thing..quoting stuff over and over is annoying. When you want someone to stop something..don't just try to give them clues..unless you actually say "I never want to hear you quote that again" they may not understand what's wrong.
OneRingShort 09-27-04, 06:33 AM	i wish that would work. I have 1...2...4...maybe 6 friends that do that all the time. very annoying.
silvermist 09-27-04, 08:37 AM	in my game i have a paladin (lg) and a samurai (also lg) both of which encountered their first in game tavern and decided the logical thing to do was get drunk. there was a potentialy important npc dwarf fighter in the tavern and everything in the tavern was of questionable craftsmanship quality. the events went such: samurai orders sake (ie fire water), paladin orders meade. both fail their fort saves against getting drunk. the paladin critically fails his. as dm i decide the best way to criticaly fail such a save is to projectile vomit. he fails (badly fails) a percentile roll and i deem that he vomits on who's next to him, of course this happens to be the dwarf. paladin decides it is a good idea to order another meade. to make a long story short the paladin and the samurai proceed to mock the dwarf (girl with a beard they called him, really!) that had just been vomited on. also the paladin tries to wash the vomit with meade and soap. this provokes the dwarf to hit the paladin with his mug. brawl ensues. bar is trashed. dwarf (cn) is killed by the party (the samurai deals the death blow). the party, but neither of the drinkers, takes some of his stuff and then hauls him back to a cave of reincarnation and tosses him in, bringing him back to life and leaving him there. (they toss him in and run). they also left some money (the other pcs, not the drinkers) for the bartender to fix the bar. to make things better: on the way to the bar they had met an adventuring prince who was after 'the black firefly' and who got turned into a flower (its a magical forest) for threatening the forest. the paladin actually wanted to pick the flower, presumably to protect it, though all of us realised this had to be the stupidest thing and would inevitably kill the prince. on the way back from the bar, still stupored, the party stops to sleep it off. the samurai and palain wake, halucinate a black firefly and chase it through the woods. they wake up alone, covered in blood and vomit in the middle of the forest. because they both broke both of their alignments they have to atone before they can level up (they dont know any high level druids or clerics either, ha ha) plus the bartender surely told all the dwarfs buddies who came looking for him who killed their buddy, the paladin somehow lost the party's pet rabbit, and the not dead anymore dwarf, if he ever sees the paladin again, is going to kick him in (as the players hanbook calls it) his paladinhood.
Darkstealth 09-27-04, 11:05 AM	Alright... a CE human whose supposed to be going to the town is walking around with the rest of the party, including me, a LE Cleric. Fighter: I'll go to the Barbers to get a Buzz cut. He paid and everything, then he said, Fighter: I'll shave my head. DM: :confused: Okay... he accidentily cuts your eyebrow. He says, 'sorry about that'. Everyone: :rofl: Fighter: Now on my forhead I want 'A really cool picture.' DM: Okay. The barber says that all will be 75 GP. Fighter: Okay, magical weapon or cool picture, magical weapon or... I'll take the picture. DM: Okay. As you go outside everyone laughs at you. *says to PC's* it says on his forhead, 'A really cool picture' in capital letters. PC's: :rofl: Fighter: I'm going back in! DM: Okay. Fighter: He says, 'Now I want a really really cool design, no letters.' DM: Alright. As you go outside everyone laughs at you again. It says on your forhead, 'Now I want a really cool design, no letters.' Fighter: Okay... I am getting this thing off! DM: As you go back inside and get it off. You take one damage from a prick in your forhead. Now a voice shouts, "Fred! Fred!" And a woman comes in, saying, "I am sorry. My husband is mad with the brush. Now, would you like your hair combed?" Fighter: No... PC's: :rofl: The saddest thing is he spent 250 GP on all of that. He's broke. DM: You have entered a weapons shop. The wizard has a morningstar (???) and the sorceror wants one.(??????) The PC's ask if he might have anything. He does not. Fighters: I pull out my sword. Sorceror: I steal a morningstar and bring it on his head. DM: You smash his head into rubber... Me: Does he have any money? Sorceror: I take out his eyeballs. DM: where do you put them? Sorceror: My spell component pouch. Later... Me: I guard the door. Other PC's: we guard the windows. Owner: ??? Me: I pull out my crossbow. Owner: Help! Me: I shoot. Rapid Shot. DM: Roll. Me: I got twenty... twice. Next I got a 10 on my damage. That's 60 damage. Do I kill him? DM: That could kill a rabid Bugbear with 7 HD! Me: Sweet. In that case can I get just enough to kill him and kill the next thing possible with the crit? This was a long time ago...
Troll Slayer3 09-27-04, 05:16 PM	To get things straight, i am the pally who was bein defended, but the post on this thread was on the way of goin to the cavern wiht the locked up trolls. ;)
Amaron Blackthorn 09-27-04, 05:49 PM	It took one of my groups like 6 hours one Friday evening to try and kill a roper that was sadly, smarter than they were. One of the players who wasnt involved curled up and took a nap. Poor DB. After he woke up his character went to where the others ones were and was able to kill the roper by a creative use of magic.
Gnomish Zombie 09-27-04, 06:25 PM	This happened to me last saturday. It is by far my stupidest day of D&D. We were polymorphed and undercover in an orcish city, and trying to infiltrate the military (The higher levels of their military, I guess). To do so, we had to pass a test in the arena, so we go in a great melee. We have to do 15 or 10 kills, depending on what we did before (some fighters got known in the area before). Everything was going well. I took out 6 kobold on the first round, then 1 gnoll and 1 centaur. The DM was counting bigger creatures as more than 1 kill, so I had more than enough kills (so he said later, but I wasn't sure at the time, and I was under stress, having messed up twice at other things that same day. I thought I had better get this right this time). So, during the fight, 3 celestials farther away were facing off 3 fiends (no idea what kind, probably halfs). The celestial were winning, until from behind the guards someone shot a fireball in the melee. Now it's a goblin city, so the crowd cheered. 1 or 2 rounds later, the fiend kills off the celestial. Unfortunately for my stupid self, that's when I also was trying to find something else to kill. So after looking at other targets I thought "hum, he just got rid of his foes, so he'll be going somewhere else... we're one of two closest people... and he's big, prolly worth a good kill, and already wounded :D". So I shot an empowered magic missile at him, killing him. Wilst I had a fire shield up and a good reflex save (took no damage), our archer didn't really like me when the guards sent a fireball on us... And the shouting of "kill the goblin!" means it'll be hell to evade the scrys and assassins... Especially since I'm the only one I coudn't polymorph, and have to recast alter self every 1h30 that I'm in public... meaning bad times hiding my gnomish form from scriers the rest of the time... Well, at least it's good for our cover that I always posed as an hot-headed, sorcerers-are-better-than-the-rest goblin...
Lothian Claw 09-28-04, 03:12 AM	This is nice.. I have a few that I would like to put in here.. But I have to make sure that the PC is going to get through it first. Once he does. I will put it in here. Here is something that happened tonight. PC is walking down a hallway, halfway dark, and ends up in front of a door, with a minor illusion to his right. DM: as you search around, *rolls* you see a faded glimer to your right. PC: I stick the end of my tail in it.. DM: ( the illusion is chest height, and about a 6 inch square.) your tail goes in.. PC: -putting hand in front of face- I walk up, and stick my head through.. DM: :uh-huh: ok.. *rolls* you take 2 points of damage from head-butting the wall.. PC: :confused: I stick my tail through the illusion.. DM: the tip of your tail goes in.. PC: I walk through the illussion.. DM: :nonono: *rolls* you take 2 points of damage from smacking your nose on the wall.. PC: :mymy: .... :mad: I stick my tail in the illussion.. again. DM: and yet again, the tip goes through.. PC: I turn my back to the wall, with my tail still through it, and walk backwards.. DM: you back into the wall. :D PC: :headexplo DM: :ayyyy!: OOc- This aint kansas toto..
FrostyObsitnic 09-28-04, 03:37 AM	One of my friends reminded me of this one the other day. There were about 10 of us playing a little temp dungeon on a camping trip. We were in a room with a bunch of lettered tiles that turned out to have NO BEARING ON THE NEXT DOOR WHATSOEVER. We didnt know that, and spent about an hour trying to figure out what to do with them. Here's some stuff that happened. PC1: Ok, I pick up as many of the tiles as I can carry. DM: *sighs* Ok... PC1: I put them all in my pants. DM: :uh-huh: Oh... PC1: I GYRATE. DM:... Later, after we finally figure out how to get through the door... DM: You are facing the huge elephant guy from the town. PC1: Is he looking at me? DM: Yes... PC1: I GYRATE. DM: OK... He charges you. PC2: I run back into the previous room... DM: You realize you guys are being attacked, right? PC2: I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. I run into the previous room. DM: Whatever. :rolleyes: (We are getting our asses handed to us in combat) PC2: I run back into the room. DM: What do you do about the huge elephant man...? PC2: I start throwing the letter tiles at him! DM: :uh-huh: You are perhaps the stupidest player ever.
Mern 09-28-04, 03:43 AM	I have a pc in my group that is normally quite smart, but a while ago, when the group were on a mission to steal a part of an old artifact from the local museum, he really screwed up. The players had agreed that the rogue should hide in the museum when it closed for the day, and try to steal the item at night. So when the museum closed, the rogue was hidden. But the guy playing a psion, also wanted his part of the fun, and decided to becom invisible and hide as well. The psion knew that the rogue was in there somewhere, and actually called out his name, wanting to borrow the rogue's glasscutter, so he could grab the artifact. :mymy: The rogue, wisely enough, didn't want to give up his position, and didn't answer. The museum guards were by this point coming into the room, to check who had called out. Although beein invisible, the psion starts to move towards the exit and rolls move silently: natural 1... Knocks over an ancient vase with a loud crash. In panic, he attacks the guards, only to be grappled, and subdued, but not before one of the guards are dead. As he is carried away, the rogue sneaks ut to the artifact, uses his glasscutter, and grabs it. No problem... Even though the psion was quite stupid in this situation, this led to a rather cool subquest to free him from jail, before his execution :D
Sucineri 09-28-04, 03:54 AM	Man..there are a lot of these dealing with being hidden/quiet and someone being overly visual/loud screwing things up, lol
Lothian Claw 10-01-04, 10:41 AM	Sorry, I had to :bump: it up..
Darth K'Trava 10-01-04, 01:12 PM	The party was exploring an ancient crypt. We'd already explored most of it and came upon an ornate door that leads into a tomb. I (the paladin) detect evil on the door and detect none. I relay that to the party, that and after we'd read the inscription that "bad things will be bestowed upon those who enter", the party fighter decides to do that anyways... Fighter: I open the door. DM: :uh-huh: Me: I have a bad feeling about this....... (yeah, bad Han Solo reference but it fit....) Fighter: I enter the room. Me: :OMG! DM: Okaay...... make a reflex save! Fighter: ::rolls:: crap!! DM: You all hear a loud <whump!> as something lands on the floor, half burying the fighter beneath it. Rest of party: ::gasp:: :uh-huh: They decide to enter the room and fight the thing. I take a test swipe at it and then decide that, using better paladinic judgment, decide to talk to it since it spoke in a language I knew: Draconic. It was my talking to it that managed to save the party as we're told to quickly leave before it's patience ended as it was huffing up for a breath attack just in case. We left, I berating the fighter for his stupidity.
The Vorpal Tribble 10-06-04, 08:24 PM	This is the same party trapped in the plane of dreams I posted on earlier. This is what you get for giving them a present... --- They were preparing to go in search of the Governor of the Lost Colony's daughter, Virginia Dare, who had gone missing (yup, this is where they disapeared to). He himself has become a metacreativist of pretty decent power since they arrived, so he makes for them an astral construct that will do as the psychic warrior commands. Here anything astral does not disentegrate, because it isn't actually ectoplasm, but 'such as dreams are made upon'. Scenario: Ananias mouths the words 'telepathically' and nods, "I have heard that term used before, and I believe it is as well as any. It senses the needs you have of it, and responds." He walks over and sprinkles Aaron's hairs across the creatures back and then goes and lies a palm over the sculpture's closed eyes. His own eyes close in concentration and the entire creature blurs momentarily, and then sharpens. The slightly soft looking flesh is now quite firm and the hairs on its back have melded into it. A deep growl rumbles from within its chest and the hairs rise up on its back. It shakes its head viciously, knocking away Ananias's hand and snaps at it with a collection of sharp and blocky teeth. Its comparatively tiny eyes open, the red orbs almost glowing. It pushes itself up to its feet as the entire table creaks. The creature lets out a ferocious roaring squeal and glares with deadly intent about the room. Player A: Aaron holds out his hand and mentally forces his will into the creature's mind. 'COME!' he says into the creatures mind. Me: The boar leaps off the table and lands directly in front of Aaron, its hooves slamming into the floor with a sharp *CRACK*. It then skids around to face the others, teeth gnashing. Player A: Walks up beside the boar and places his hand on its snout. 'Calm' Me: The boar closes its mouth and relaxes, but its eyes still follow the movements of those nearby. Player B: "Neat. Are you going to tell him were friends, Aaron?" he then looks to the boar. "I dub thee, WarPig." Player A: Aaron once again forces his own minds will into the boar's, this time a mischevious thought 'Go give 'im a good scare' Me: Warpig's eyes suddenly open wide and it leaps at Jason. It lands directly before him and reaching out with its teeth snaps viciously at his crotch, missing by only a fraction of an inch. It snorts once and then walks back to stand beside Aaron. Player A: "His name shall be... Darwin. For the close natural selection he gave you, Jason." Player B just stood there in shock, his trousers becoming very wet.
Grondax 10-06-04, 09:19 PM	I have a ton, but I think I will stick with a simple one that I really enjoyed. My party of level 3 had just raided a Gnoll camp and killed all of the Gnolls on the top level (Cavern area, which consisted of three layers. There was a huge pit in the middle that went down to the bottom where there was a lake.) By this time our Barb was down to 3 HP, and ... ... our cleric refused to heal him, because he was tending to our Psionic _-_ Anyway the Barb finds a tree with a hollow hole near the lake... and decides he will go in there to hide while he rests... needless to say it contains a trap hole that my Gnolls would have used if the alarm had went off. He falls through the thin trap door down three levels. Luckily he manages to get his arms out on either side and doesn't take any damage... The gnolls only put a ladder up if they are using it so there is no way back up without a lot of exertion... so he tries the door... and runs... into 3 Gnolls :mymy: Needless to say he didn't last very long. Luckily for him they were very hungry and liked their meat fresh. So he stayed alive till the party saved him :)
Primal 10-07-04, 03:24 AM	This one comes from a 2e game but still I am unable to get over it. The group (7 characters about 5th - 8th level if I remember correctly) was wondering around in a swamp looking foe an ancient temple of a dragon worshipping cult when they get into a bad fight with a number of trolls. They manage to get away badly beaten up and are looking for a place to rest, when they find themselves looking at the temple they were looking for across a large clearing dominated by a huge well and the statue of a dragon. They fuss carefully for a while around the well and not being able to see anything inside they wisely decide to leave the well in peace and try to get some rest. While all the other characters are moving on, one of them, o Firbolg 8th level fighter reduced to 12 hp from a total of 90+, being certain that the well is a wishing well insists on throwing in a coin wishing that he was healed. The well was not a wishing well after all, and the ancient dragon that slept below woke up realy angry at being awakened with a coin on its head...
Craque 10-07-04, 04:12 AM	This is one of the more memorable moments from one of my campaigns DM: The wizard finishes casting teleport, you are all back at the city, a few hundred feet beyond the city walls. A druid is currently directing a large number of treants and animals to attack the city walls, what do you do? PC(ranger): I cast protection from fire on myself. DM: Ok. PC(ranger): I have a piece of flint, and my sword is made of steel. DM: Ok....... PC(ranger): I'm going set myself on fire with the flint and sword. DM and rest of party: :mymy: :uh-huh: what? why?.... PC(ranger): now I'm gonna go hug a treant :D .
MortalPlague 10-07-04, 07:33 AM	My brother's characters have lousy luck with animals, generally. Here's a couple of examples: Flinn and the Moose Flinn de' Noir, bard extraordinaire was on watch one night for the party. He was level two or three, and the party was running short on rations. During his watch, he saw a moose wandering across the grasslands a short distance away, and he decided that he could take the moose down and the party would have fresh meat. Declining to wake the others, the bard sets off on his own and attacks the till-then rather docile moose. The big creature takes exception to the blow, turns, and proceeds to kick the bard's ass. He had a tough time explaining why he was so badly beat up the next morning. Felton and the Angry Boar I just finished DM'ing this encounter not half an hour ago. Felton is an orcish ranger who was raised by humans, and knows nothing about actually being an orc. He's on an island, in a forest that an evil druid with a twisted view on nature has made his lair. The druid is perverting the trees in his grove, and driving animals mad with fury, forcing them to attack people on sight. After battling a couple of enraged rats (he'd badly failed his attempt to calm them), Felton spotted the druid watching him from a rocky summit, 30 feet up. He decided to run off and chase the druid, and after failing a good ten climb checks, he decided to find another way up. Finally reaching the place where the druid had been, he searched for a trail but found no tracks; indeed, no sign at all that the druid had ever been there. He was about to leave when an angry boar, sent by the druid stumbled onto Felton. Level 1 ranger versus a CR 2 creature. The boar is tough, and Felton knows it. He decides to take an attack against it with his heavy pick, but he misses. The boar gores him for enough damage to knock him down to one hit point, so Felton decides to take his chances jumping off the cliff and grabbing for a branch. He snags one, and the enraged boar jumps for him, misses, and falls 30 feet for 3d6 damage. Sitting up on a tree, Felton the orcish ranger starts slinging bullets at the creature, missing continually till he critically missed and dropped the sling. He then started throwing bullets. Eventually, due to the fact that the boar was trying to climb the rocks (and managed to actually get somewhere once or twice), the boar succumbed to the slow damage of thrown bullets and accumulated falling damage.
Bartleby_GoC 10-07-04, 01:03 PM	:) And THAT is why level one games are fun! Ok, my turn. Character background for the recently added human fighter notes that father was killed by unknown pirrates. The character as something (detail left to DM) that he can use to begin his search. This detail is a scrap of a yellow silk sash bearing a black fist symbol. Part of the over-story is that goblinoids are beginning an invasion. Naval forces are maquerading as pirates in order to gauge responsiveness of the imperial navy, and possibly draw them away from the intended invasion point. There's also a few well-hidden footholds inland. The party has fought with some unexpectedly organized goblins who were bigger than usual. (They've encountered goblins, but not hobbies or bugbears) In their hideout, they found a blue banner with the black fist. The party is in port, selling loot, gathering supplies and trinkets as usualy, but tge fighter stays on the ship because the player wants to go fight pirates, even after I mention that I don't run hack-n-slash. So, the party spends their last night in port eating at a nice tavern, without the fighter. They see a cloaked figure come in, looking suspicious because he's hiding his face. The guy orders dinner, and with a well-rolled spot, one of the party sees a yellow sash with a black fist. Meanwhile, the fighter sees this odd-looking ship pull in at night, no lights. One person disembarks and pays the dockmaster a VERY large sum of money before leaving the dock area. Instead of following the shadowy figure (which would have lead to the rest of the party, since the unknown figures are one-in-the-same), he scouts the ship. Fine except he boards the ship! Now, I point out that if there are goblins on this ship, they see better than he does. He pokes around a bit and leaves. (The gobbies are trying not to be noticed at this point) So, party returns, sleeps, wakes, and with an our before the tides are right, go get breakfast. Again... :nonono: fighter stays behind... this time, IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, he climbs aboard, pokes around, seriusly consideres breaking and entering, and then simply starts knocking ont eh aft-castle's door. Quote: "I've got 45 minutes before our ship leaves. This will get someone's attention." Yup. It did. Hobgob 3rd level cleric casts hold person through a window (fighter fails spot check to notice curtain move). A few rounds later, spell ends. He considers his options, nearly continues to bother the ship full of hobgoblin marines, including a cleric and a sorcerer, and then leaves the ship. The next spell would have been a Sleep, followed by getting dragged in, robbed, and dumped overboard. :sigh: If not for really good RP reasons for the LE badguys staying incogneto, heowudl have been toast... I'm pretty sure the locked-down ship, ignored attempts at contact, and Hold Person spell were pretty good hints to go away, or at least get the rest of the party to help, right? Right? Bartleby
Krag 10-07-04, 04:05 PM	here's the best one i've seen in my games DM (me) - desribes the room player 1 (rouge) i search the room for traps -rolls WOW! nat 20 =34 DM - ok you find one trap in the center of the room on a tile that is 3x3 feet and it looks to complated for only one person to disarm. player 2 - (human) i ask the rouge to mark the trap - DM ok he makes it P2 - ok i look around the room DM you see that you can very easley walk around the trap along the walls p1 & p2 - ok i walk along the walls to avoid the trap. DM ok your safe player 3 - ok i take off running across the room and jump over the trap tile. DM :confused: ooook? p1 & p2 :confused: :mymy: DM ok roll me a jump check p3 rolls 1 fumble CRAP!!! DM roll me a dex check p3 rolls 1 again! DM- you try to jump over the trap that you could just haved walked around you land on the trap tile as you have triped over your own feet setting off the trap the room is now filling up with a liqued of some type. and the magic light spell has worn off your sword fighter p1 i have dark vision can i see anything like a monster dm no but you do smell a petroleum based smell p2 oh crap i'm imma going to die p3 - i light a torch so i can see DM your all dead players :confused: :mymy: :weep: :weep: :weep: dm (me) :rofl:
MortalPlague 10-07-04, 05:45 PM	Purple Moss A long time ago, back in 2nd Ed, I came up with a few strange items. One of them was the dreaded Purple Moss. It grew on walls in a certain cavern out party was adventuring through, and it had a few interesting properties. Firstly, it boosted strength. Secondly, it all-but negated intelligence, charisma, and wisdom. And thirdly, it made the player who tasted it want nothing but to eat more purple moss. The party discovered these properties by trying a little bit, and the paladin of the group managed to quell any need for going back for the stuff. The fighter decided the stuff could be useful, however. Quoth the fighter: "I'm going to get as much purple moss as I can carry. I fill my pack, by belt pouches, by shirt, my pants, my mouth." I was a little startled. "Your mouth?" :mymy: The fighter: "Yes." I shrugged. "Okay, the fighter goes ballistic, and starts tearing at the wall in search of more purple moss, eating every ounce of it he can see." Eventually, the paladin tried to stop him, they wound up on a rope bridge over a chasm, and the fighter fell into the darkness. I don't remember if the paladin survived or not, but the adventure somewhat ended at that point.
Rian Lightblade 10-07-04, 06:13 PM	Examples of an Idiotic PC. Well the Bard that charged in to combat with the monster that just swallowed the Paladin. The Sorcerer that tries to get into HtH combat every chance they get. The Sorcerer that took spells like resistance, and tensor's floating disc, and knock and then tries to act like they're are just as effective in combat as the wizard, with evocation speicalization, greater spell focus Evocation, Int 30 and spells with DCs in the upper 20's and lower 30's That fact that I'm talking about the same player.
Darth K'Trava 10-07-04, 07:36 PM	The biggest idiot of a PC??? The paladin who doesn't use detect evil!!! We had one guy play a paladin who, over the course of 8 months (real time), only used his detect evil paladinic ability ONCE!!!! The DM was about to a) pull his hair out and 2) strip the paladin of his abilities. For not only that but going against his deity's edicts; a god of protection (Heimdall) and rushing into battle rather than stay and help protect the party against a group of, I think, orcs. The first fight we were in, I nearly lost my cleric in a sand trap caused by an umber hulk skulking around underground and I ended up fighting it one-on-one. The ranger jumped in after I got knocked out and she nearly got knocked out herself. The paladin? Where was he? Worrying about another PC who wasn't in the combat (player had to leave early, so the DM put a large "moat" around the character) rather than using his detect evil to scope out the monster and put the "smackdown on it's ass" (smiting evil). He finally did......... when the monster was down to only 2 hit points! :mymy:
Arctaurus_Vega 10-07-04, 09:22 PM	In our Role Playing session we have an absent minded Rogue ( and PC to put it frankly) that has kept the sessions in good humor when things aren't going well. Situation 1: Rogue is sneaking in Tall Grass (5 feet high) trying to spy on a band of Orcs. After rolling a natural 1 on her move silently... Two Orcs leave the group and start heading in your direction. Rogue (1st level): I want to approach them and try to 'Bluff' them. Situation 2: After the rest of the party was ambushed by bandits the thief was up ahead scouting. DM: You hear the sound of battle from behind you. Rogue: I want to sneak back and see what's going on DM: Makes adequate checks, okay you see your party being attacked by dark cloaked figures. They appear to be outnumbered 2-1. Rogue: I'm going to continue hiding in this spot and see what happens. Party: YOU WHAT!!!! Situation 3: The party is in the middle of a pitched battle with orcs and the mage has just slept 4 of them...there is still 3 left. Rogue: I want to tie one of the sleeping orcs up and interrogate him Party: You do know that we are still fighting 3 orcs! Definitely epitome of a CN Rogue.
The Vorpal Tribble 10-07-04, 09:27 PM	MortalPlague and Krag, you truley have some mentally deficient players, and I salute you for removing them from the gene pool. :D And Craque, I loved that... hug the treant. I wouldn't call that idiotic so much as incredibly risky, yet very imaginative. If he lived through it I woulda given him a touch of extra XP ;)
Malkavian^C^ 10-07-04, 11:27 PM	Okay I registered here JUST so i could add to this thread :D Take one: This is our (my group's) First. Campaign. Evar. I'm a dwarf fighter, we have a sorcerer and I think one other human character. We found an old ramshackle house in the woods that appears to be deserted. The human geos around the side. I try the door and it's locked ,so i kick it down. Being a dwarf, i do it easily. the door falls in and i go inside. It's dark. The human hears what I did and decides he can do the same and kicks a side plank of the house. Rolls a 1. The plank he kicks pivots on a central joist (ie the bottom swings in the top swings DOWN) and whacks him on the top of the head and puts him out. My dwarf watches in dire amusement as a band of light opens up and i see my party mates boots. :D Take 2: I'm a dwarven fighter again (this is several experimental campaigns later) and we hae in our party an elven fighter played by the most annoying person ever (NO sense of roleloplaying, every character is a cavalier, rules lawyer, etc) and...well, long story short, my dwarf and the other dwarf have just climbed down a 120 or so foot shaft and he's on his way down...and falls. 120 feet down. DM: What do you want to do? Elf: *thinks* Gonna scream. DM: ....okay. You've fallen some...nwo what? Elf: Scream somemore... Now at the bottom the two dwaves look up and..step out of the way. SPLAT. about that time the dead elf realizes he could have at least TRIED grabbing the rope to slow his fall down some. Too late. Out of morbid humor we commission a glass box of stasis to keep the elfs corpse in along with the rest of our trophies (Skins, heads and etc) to commemorate the happy passing of such an annoying character. Later in that same campaign...the same guy's new character, evil cleric. Has light cast on his weapon. Tries to hide. In the open ("I can cover the glow with my cloak!") SAME FIGHT. Tries to go use a touch attack on a young adult dragon. I honestly forget what his NEXT character was like.. In an earlier campaign my group was being DM'd by an "old school" guy who'd grown up playing 2nd ed (and was a horrible DM. Had no concept of balancing encounters) We ended up with one player drunk and falling into the fireplace before we'd even met our NPCs (That was a combination of stupidity and DM *******ry) ...later on our party of 4 level 1s and 2 mysterious NPCs gets ambused by...wait forr it...20 hobgoblins. Last time that dude DM'd.
BRJN 10-09-04, 12:10 AM	Idiot metagaming: About 10 years ago, at a convention, I ran a Gamma World scenario that had the PCs explore a Las Vegas hotel-casino. After getting off the elevator on about the 10th floor: IP: I let everybody else go by and then use my Burning Hands mutation to set the elevator on fire. Other players: Umm, how are you palnning to get back down again? IP: Oh, this session will "time's up" before we finish checking out this floor. We don't have to worry about that. Needless to say, nobody wanted their character to be anywhere near him after that.
Master Agnald 10-09-04, 01:34 AM	There was this one time when playing a campaign where my PCs stumbled across a dead body with a huge flower growing on it (it was a result of one of my own monsters [you see, I really like creating monsters], a huge plant that would eat creatures, suck them dry and then plant its seed on the body). The guy playing the sorceror got a bit... erm, paranoid with it... DM (me): You see a big flower growing on a corpse... the corpse seems to be horribly dry. PC (sorceror): *eyes grow big* I... I attack it with my bastard sword (don't ask what a sorceror does with a bastard sword). DM: Uh... OK... roll the dice, than... PC#2 (orc): "Orc ignores" PC: *rolls* did I hit? DM: Sure... [Flower's AC: 5] PC: *rolls the damage* What happened? DM: Congratulations... you've destroyed a flower... PC: ... DM: ... PC#2: Can we go on now? :rolleyes:
harperman976 10-09-04, 01:46 AM	this happened on a first level 2e adverture I was playing in. I was a very very courious hafling thief who liked to touch and inspect every thing. me and my group (3 others) found our way into a small 10x10 room. looking around i found a potion or what i thought was one. and told the dm i wanted to uncork to bottle and smell the liquid. the DM looked at me in awe and started to roll dice after rolling dice he looked at the enire party and declared us dead. telling us that i just open a bottle of firey explosion. i started laughing and asked if i got exp for the kills. he almost got exp for nearly killing me for spoiling his hard worked adventure i got out alive by convinceing him i was only playing by my pc's presonality. needless to say the groups preist sent an avitar down to raise our body's. for about 4 months of gaming i was not allowed to touch any new magical items until after they were inspected by the priest and mage. Harperman
Tadyn 10-09-04, 10:58 AM	So.. I was that idiotic PC. I had already established my character as a bit odd, for example, I would cheerily say "Hi!" when someone pointed a crossbow at me... But this time, I wasn't purposely trying to be odd. I was talking to a mayor about what had been going on in the area. After a long explaination, I asked a question, but he decided not to answer it, and instead continued on telling me about how he was talking to someone and they were attacked randomly and killed in front of him. I reply, "Aww. I'm sorry." The game instantly stops. "What? You're sorry??" "Well, yeah. What else am I suppose to say?" "Oookk" As soon as we continue, I was attacked, and killed my attacker quickly. A person then runs up and picks up the mayor's body. "Is there something wrong with him?" ".... he's dead." "How in the world did that happen? I didn't see him get caught in the fray of the fight..." Game stops, again. "Remember? He was just killed in front of you??" Suddenly, everything dawns on me. I had completely misunderstood what was going on. "Woa woa! Wait. HE was killed in front of me, not telling me of a friend who was killed in front of HIM??" So... A person was I talking to was killed in front of me, and all I did was look at his body and say, "Awww. I'm sorry."
Aricandor 10-11-04, 12:38 PM	Shameless :bump: Okay. My PC's had found a large house in an abandoned part of the city and found it to be infested with demons (long story). They got in, cleared the first rooms and found a large chamber. In one end of it there were five crystals arranged in a circle. Me: "You see five crystals arranged in a circle. They are different colors, one blue, white, green, orange and yellow." PC1: "Okay, what are we supposed to do now?" PC2: "I touch one of the crystals. The blue one." Me: "A sharp jolt of electricity runs through your arm. You take 8 damage from it" PC1: "I walk into the middle of the circle." Me: "All the crystals discharge energy into the middle and you. Any energy resistances or immunities?" PC1: "No." Me: *Rolls dice* "You take 34 damage and are stunned." PC1: "Oh, f**k, someone get me out of here!" PC3: "I push him out of the circle!" Me: "Okay. He falls down on the floor on the other side, obviously still stunned. Now what?" PC2: "I touch the blue crystal again." Me: *sigh* "Okay. Another 11 electricity damage." PC4: "Maybe we've missed something." PC5: "Perhaps... I know! I enter the circle..." Me: :banghead: Definitely stupid PC :D
The Vorpal Tribble 10-11-04, 03:02 PM	After Aricandor's post I feel I must ask something... #1. Are any of you guys exagerating? Just the tiniest bit? #2. Are these players under the age of 14? #3. If neither of the above, is it that the only players that will 'lower' themselves to playing D&D are the kids from the, err, horizontally challenged school transport? I honestly can't imagine anyone that can walk and chew bubble gum at the same being THIS DUMB. It completely boggles my mind.
Vharuck 10-11-04, 03:13 PM	In response to Vorpal Tribble, I'm going to have to add the following possibilities: #4. The players think it's funny to play moronically. #5. The character in question shoudl be played as a moron. I did #5 myself. Had a none-too-bright paladin in the group (based on Alexander Anderson from Hellsing), and the Player who played him was gone for a session, so I as the DM NPCed his character. The group fought a small black dragon in a small swamp, and it flew above them after receiving a nasty cut from the paladin's dual short swords. Wondering what the PC would do, I came to the conclusion that he would still want to fight the dragon man-to-beast. So I had him use his grappling hook and rope (they all seemed to buy those two things in the beginning) and try to hook the dragon to pull it down. Took him two shots to hook it, then I used Str checks. The dragon won the first, yanking him off his feet and ten feet into the air. He fell, got hurt, then repeated. He (surprisingly) won the next tug-of-war and yanked the dragon down to the ground, where the party druid stabbed it in the eye with a magical dagger, killing it instantly. A pretty good fight, everyone had fun, and nobody was bitter (including the one girl who was slowly dying while her skin sizzled away from the dragon's acid breath). A fun night in my DMing history.
Queenjesus 10-11-04, 10:10 PM	My players had recently upset the plans of an evil wizard and were coming home after a minor altercation with the local thieves guild. Upon returning home they discover the door hanging open and the house ransacked (by assasins sent by the evil wizard). The rogue of the party searches the house for his pet kitten and when unable to find it decides the thieves guild must have broken in and murdered it. Cue the rogue, fighter and wizard -all second level- to set out to take on the thieves guild. It started out fairly well as they were able to break in and kill a couple of guards before getting caught up ina drawn out combat in which more and more thieves entered the room. The wizard managed to escape while the thieves finished off the others. Returning home to collect his meagre belongings he found the kitten waiting patiently having wandered out of the open door earlier. Fortunately for the wizard the attack on the thieves guild triggered a revolution and the new guild leader didn't send anyone to hunt him down. The rogue's new character is an intelligence 4 half-orc barbarian and the wizard keeps him on a tight leash.
flamefist drunkenmonk 10-11-04, 10:30 PM	its amazing what people do for their pets... whether real or not lol and everyone has an Int penalty day as iv seen in someones sig... heck iv got a bunch of them. But yea some of these are probably being a bit exaggerated, but there are still the extreemly stupid things like trying to bull rush a cliff to knock off a digester thats 10 feet away from the edge :rolleyes: but hey ... we get mild entertainment from those players haha
Xavori 10-11-04, 11:44 PM	I have one, I have one! *waves arm in the air* Oooh, pick me, pick me! Group is planning on assasinating the Queen of Cormantor (super duper good important city in Forgotten Realms), they screw up and get caught! Interrogation room: DM (me): So, who are all of you people? player: we are a group of adventurers DM: and what did you come here for? Paladin: We came here to kill the Queen Party: :banghead: :looloo: Me: :twitch: :rofl: :D He actually said that because he "was a paladin and couldn't lie" :mymy: Too bad he didn't realize that plotting to kill the Queen alone was enough to take away his powers! :88E:
Aricandor 10-12-04, 10:26 AM	After Aricandor's post I feel I must ask something... #1. Are any of you guys exagerating? Just the tiniest bit? #2. Are these players under the age of 14? #3. If neither of the above, is it that the only players that will 'lower' themselves to playing D&D are the kids from the, err, horizontally challenged school transport? I honestly can't imagine anyone that can walk and chew bubble gum at the same being THIS DUMB. It completely boggles my mind. Yes, it is fascinating, isn't it :D #1: I'm not. I may have made it longer than it was, but the chain of events (touch crystal, walk into circle, touch crystal, walk into circle) was the real thing. #2: Most are my age (16-17) except one. She's my little sister, and she didn't walk into the circle. Guess it tells more about my players than anything :rolleyes:
Sucineri 10-12-04, 10:39 AM	The people I talk about are 19, 18, 22, 24, 21, and me who is also 22. Age doesn't make someone more or less immature even though people ALWAYS say "what, are they 12?". I find that the older I get, the more immature I get. :) When I am 60+ I will be the crazy old naked guy dancing on my front yard yelling at kids down the street to stop looking at my lawn gnome because his feelings are getting hurt! :)
Kruxx06 10-12-04, 01:22 PM	Alright, I feel the need to vent about my idiotic PC's. So they're traveling through some rocky hills when they start to feel the ground shake. They go to investigate and they find two hill giants wrestling. (they party is 3rd lvl mind you), they decide to go sneak up and see whats in the hill giant's bags while they are busy wrestling. :rolleyes: Keep in mind that it took them a little while to find the giants, and decide to sneak up to their bags. Well, they get to bag and just start going through them then and there. About halfway through their detailed search of the bags (While the giants are wrestling a mere 50 feet away) when they notice the ground stopped shaking. PC: I look over to see what the hill giants are doing. DM: You see the giants looking at you... :nonono: PC's collectively: :mymy: Turns out that angry hill giants can run down PC's pretty easily....... ---------- Seriously, when will PC's learn that just because something is there doesn't mean it's a good idea to Kill/Steal it. :looloo:
Aricandor 10-12-04, 01:48 PM	The people I talk about are 19, 18, 22, 24, 21, and me who is also 22. Age doesn't make someone more or less immature even though people ALWAYS say "what, are they 12?". I find that the older I get, the more immature I get. :) When I am 60+ I will be the crazy old naked guy dancing on my front yard yelling at kids down the street to stop looking at my lawn gnome because his feelings are getting hurt! :) Well well well. I guess D&D *does* damage to your mind after all :D
Bacon and Eggs 10-12-04, 02:19 PM	When I am 60+ I will be the crazy old naked guy dancing on my front yard yelling at kids down the street to stop looking at my lawn gnome because his feelings are getting hurt! :) I'm 30+, and I do that now. I'm advanced for my age I suppose.
digoraccoon 10-12-04, 02:25 PM	My players have an affidavit to keep their characters away from fire. While spying on the farm of a Chaotic Neutral witch... DM: "Okay so you cover her chimney with the tarp and tie it down. The smoke starts filling the farm house." Fighter: "Hello love, we're home!" DM: "She hears you and you rear stumbling and something glass hit the floor. After a short sprint she goes quiet." Ranger: "What happened to the element of surprise?" Rogue: "This is taking too long. I open the door." DM: "Smoke billows out. You can make out the idea that this is her alchemy lab." Rogue: "I take a swig of my drink, pour the rest over her papers. I light my torch and drop it." DM: "Y-, wait. You set fire to the lab..?" Rogue: "Yup!" Fighter: "Yeah, lets burn it down! I light a torch!" DM: "Errr..." **rolls dice** Ranger: "Um... wait, what did we just do?" DM: "58 points of damage later you all pick yourselves up 30 feet away, at the edge of a crater."
Aqueral 10-12-04, 09:57 PM	A group of 2 people, level 7, maybe 8, defeated a silver dragon in the middle of someplace remotely like the saharah. It was caprtured by orcs recently. Beady, a 3 ft halfling rogue (after defeating a small weak dragon), was looking for anything in the dragon poo. One problem - it was acidic. He burned his hand clean off. Thus, his arm is now a short sword.
Cantankerous 10-13-04, 09:42 AM	The ones on this page aren't so bad, but some of the ones on pages four and five, yeeeesh. Was this the "1001 examples of an idiotic PC" thread, or the "1001 examples of an even more idiotic DM" thread? And these people are laughing at the PC's stupidity? Wow. from 2nd edition: DM: The edge of the cavern seems to have a partly worked and partly natural lip, about three feet wide that runs along the left hand wall, switch backing every fifty feet down or so, that runs from the height you are now, several hundred feet above the surface of the lava to a height of no more than about six feet above the lava before it exits into a tunnel mouth, barely to be seen through the heat waves. The very air ripples with them, even here, hundreds of feet above that level and you realize that the heat in here is too great for you to bear for more than a few minutes. PC1: I begin to slowly work my way down the lip. DM: :mymy: You're sure? The heat is nearly unbearable already. PC1: I begin trotting then. DM: :mymy: You realize that the descent will take, at a good trot, ... call it 60 turns all totaled. You'll be rolling a Con/Stamina check once every other round and for each failure your temporary Con/Stamina decreases by 1. Once you run out of Con/Stamina, you go unconscious and start taking a point of damage per round. The rest of the party's players: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :looloo: PC1: I can make it. DM: :nonono: Ok. Please roll the first one. In the open please. PC1: :uh-huh: In the open? The rest of the party (who all knew me): :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: DM: :twitch: Yes, in the open. PC1's Player: Uhhh, I have to go to the bathroom. Five minutes later we discovered that our new player had exited through the back door. Isshia
Sucineri 10-13-04, 09:50 AM	Five minutes later we discovered that our new player had exited through the back door He actually LEFT left? hahahahaha!
Cantankerous 10-13-04, 09:54 AM	*lol* Out the back door and the guy who had brought him said that he even avoided HIM at work for a while. For the most part my groups have been all RPers, and it seems everytime we had some supposedly experienced AD&Der who heard about the game try to join us, well, that was the worst example, but there were others not too dis-similiar. I still shake my head over that one though. Isshia
Mentar 10-13-04, 01:54 PM	One of the worst that I have seen has to be one of my first AD&D games, 1st edition, the DM wanted to test out "higher level" encounters so he had me and the other player roll up level 7 characters. I chose to be a paladin with blacksmithing, armorsmithing, and weapon smithing. Stating quite clearly to the other player and the DM that I had crafted, tinted (light blue), and blessed my own armor and holy sword. The other player chose to be a LG samurai, talking about how great samurai were and how they were more honorable then paladins and were better fighters. First night on the road, I took first watch, but nothing came close to us on my watch. I woke the samurai, took off my armor and went to sleep. DM had the sleeping person leave the room while taking care of what went on with the person who was awake, so I had no clue until I was told I could come in. DM: As dawn breaks you wake up and hear snoring on the other side of the campfire. Me: I look for the samurai DM: he is rolled up in his bedroll snoring soundly, you notice that the armor beside him is now a dark blue in color. (Had been black and gold before) Me: I look around to see if something put him to sleep, are we being attacked by magic? DM: You don't see anything or anyone around you besides him, your horses, and some grey plate armor next to you with a stange sword laying across it. Me: I get up and look for my armor, waking him to ask what happened to it. DM: After looking around a bit you still don't see your old armor anywhere, so you wake him. Him: Oh, I met a wizard and traded your old armor and sword for this, it's +5 full plate and a holy avenger. *picks up his armor and pulls a katana from a hidden slot in the back* Look at the armor I got, and the katana is part of the armor so people won't notice it if they capture us! Me: You took my armor? Him: Yea, but this stuff is a lot better! Me: You STOLE my armor? Him: No, I just traded it for better stuff with this necromancer that has a tower near here. Me: You STOLE my blessed armor and weapon, and gave it to a NECROMANCER? Him: This stuff is a lot better! At this point I turned to the DM and explained in simple words how the Samurai had violated his alignment, commited dishonerable actions, and on and on.... After about 15 minutes of explaining it to him he seemed to realize that both of them were to blame. I walked out that day after telling both of them to read up on the alignments and on the samurai. Next week I started roleplaying my attempts at retrieving my armor and holy sword. The samurai had to pack the +5 full plate and holy avenger on his horse because I would have nothing to do with the "gifts" of an evil necromancer. Luckly for me that DM was only a player in the other game with a DM that knew the rules. Unfortunately the guy playing the samurai seemed to take personal offense at my showing him that he didn't know how to play his character. Every other game we played he was doing things against my characters, usually small things but he eventually caused the death of three of my characters, two of those times it was obvious that he was trying to kill me. The moral of this story is 1) If you talk about how much more honorable your character is then a paladin, don't steal. 2) Sometimes the DM should think before introducing a "plot device" to give free upgrades to party weapons and armor. 3) Some people just can not seperate game from reality, or game from other game.
Ricky 10-18-04, 12:36 PM	So my group is about 10th level and exploring a tomb. Cleric: I look through the archway. DM (That's me): You see a hallway stretching to the limits of your torchlight. About 50' down the hallway you see a 4-way intersection. Rogue (searching): This archway is trapped, but I'm not sure how. Cleric: Could you disable the trap? Rogue: I don't have a good Disable Device check. I don't want to risk it. Sorcerer: I have an idea. I'll teleport us past the archway. Cleric: Ok, teleport us to that intersection. DM: :devil: Ok, you arrive at the intersection. Everyone make a Will save. Players: :uh-huh: Everyone makes it except for the rogue. DM: Rogue, you step on a strange glyph on the floor and are now paralyzed. Everyone else, you see that the east and west passages at this intersection are short alcoves, each one containing a bandage-wrapped mummy with glowing red eyes that reaches its hands toward you. Meanwhile, two ghostly specters float out of the wall, blocking the north and south hallways. They approach you as well. Players: :mymy: So we're surrounded? DM: Yup. :tiphat: Players: :banghead: DM: :rofl: They barely survived that one. I remember that the fighter suffered SIX negative levels from the specters.
Mantis 10-23-04, 09:50 AM	Alright, just to not let this thread die (I simply enjoy it *grins*)... My players were up to find a secret temple ruin in the mountains. The one who found out a route pretty much screwed up, so they ended up staying a day at a waterfall because they recognized both the waterfall and a bush (pretty much the only one, there were barely any plants up there)... and because of the one player messing up the description of the directions, they thought the temple had to be right there. Well, this wasn't idiotic at all, except for the fact that one of the Chars jumped down the waterfall of a height of almost 40' simply to look cool - but was knocked unconscious when hitting the water surface of the lake beneath. He also barely avoided his death when his friends tried to waken him up again and poured water into his mouth... :bored: Anyway, after all they decided to get going towards a cliff they saw from the top of the waterfall. 4 hours of marching later it turns out this cliff is around 100 yards wide and all they can think of is the grappling hook and a rope they used to have - however, they left it at the waterfall to climb the wall there. So they walk 4 hours back to the waterfall (note they're a bit itchy concerning time, because in two weeks a major city is supposed to be attacked and they need to get an artifact from that temple before), so the rogue finally gets the grappling hook, secures the rope, and goes: "Alright, I'm throwing it!" Me/DM: Uh... what to you throw it at? Rogue: :confused: Towards the other side of the cliff, of course! Notice they're still at the waterfall, 4 hours away from the cliff. He rolled three times until his party finally slapped him across the face, asked him what the f*ck he was doing there and summarized he had been trying three times in a row to throw the grappling hook over a distance of probably 20 miles.
Sucineri 10-23-04, 02:35 PM	Hehehe..that's what happens in confusion. They go this way and go back..then they go this way and go back..so naturally when you need to go this way again..you figure you must have gone back again. It's a good story :P
Blane 10-23-04, 06:15 PM	Heres one a saw recently: DM: you decend onto a ridge on the side of a cliff. It is pitch black. Dwarven Rogue: No one light a torch! Human Rogue: OK, I walk forward. DM: In any perticular way? Human Rogue: Nope DM: you sure? Human Rogue: Yes! I just walk forward! DM: OK *sigh* you walk forwards, in your blindess you walk straight off the side of the ridge, you suffer 10d6 damage.......
Mantis 10-23-04, 08:46 PM	Hehehe..that's what happens in confusion. You don't want to know how confused that rogue player really is. Just before the trip he spent 5 gold on a plush cow (because we had one in that room that night - "Elsa, the cute cuddle-cow") because he thought it was a real cow, just very, very small so it could sit on his shoulder... and it could talk... yeah right. And I'd charge only 5 gp for something like that. :uh-huh: Speaking of being confused. I drew a map of the campaign's continent for my players a session before and showed it to them, told them this was what it looked like and that was were they were at the moment - pretty much the most northern part they could get to. I said the overall climate would be rather like middle europe, no deserts, a few mountains, warm south. Now, keep this information in mind. Last session, our druid became very... very drunk in the harbor's tavern. He sold the party's female bard for three camels... don't ask, we had a good laugh so I let him have his three camels. In the end though, they decided they had no use for those animals, so they went to an animal merchant to sell them. Unfortunately the rogue, who at first was in charge of the transaction, told the merchant the bard would handle it since she was better at doing stuff like that and went off. In the end, she sold the three camels for 1000 g. After she came back, she told the party about the event, just to get dissed... I didn't say a word until the animals were sold... but the party went almost beserk when they found out that the bard pretty much gave away three animals who were almost invaluable for that part of the continent...imagine... camels in northern scandinavia, a rather impossible sight - and she only wants 1000 g for all three of them. This isn't too idiotic - if you ignore the fact that I'd probably given her 1000 for each.
Sucineri 10-23-04, 09:40 PM	Hell, they SOLD her..who cares if she basically just traded her way out of it.
Arakano 10-24-04, 07:24 AM	And 1000 GP for EACH? I mean, if they were that expensive, why did the even get them in exchange for a common bard? No, seriously, I can´t see dumb player action there. Then, on the other hand, talking about your dming... :P
Lothian Claw 10-25-04, 05:47 AM	Thanks all, keep this thing going!
posat 10-28-04, 06:57 AM	Ok! some of the things that happened in the group I play. During 1 session a player was captured by some bandits. - He starts to try and free himself from the ropes. - Bandits see him and tell him to stop it. - He keeps on trying. - He manages to free himself. - Guards put a dagger into his face. Player: I teleport. DM: Where to? Player: dunno .... hmmmm .... 200 feets up. :D ---------------------------- This one was not DnD Player gets traped under an huge pile of rocks. A small creature, that the player had never seen, apears near him and tells him that he will free him if he signs a magical contract. Player: what contract DM: Ho, is a simple contract where you promisse never to attack me. Player (looking at contract): But I can't read this contrat. DM: Of course not, it's a magical contract .... Player: Haaa ..... ok. Rest of the party: :banghead: The contrat worked more or less like a charm / dominate ... the player was forced to help his new master, and yes, 1 of our objectives was to kill his new master.
flamefist drunkenmonk 11-01-04, 02:49 PM	:bump:
Venom of the Yuan Ti 11-01-04, 03:26 PM	Bob the Fighter, That is right BOB the Fighter. That would be bad enough, but one climactic scene... Party enters a vast room with a raised dias in the middle, the walls are lined with huge iron statues (no they didn't realise they were Golems), on the dias is a human (about 70) in long black robes sitting in a large silver throne, an human they know to be the Archmage who they have come to negotiate a wish from, party lvl 9 by the way, They have also found out that he is part of the way throught the transformantion into a lich. Bob: HEY! Lich Boy!! You gona give us a Wish or not?!?!?! *Sigh*
flamefist drunkenmonk 11-14-04, 09:24 PM	:bump: :bump: :bump: