Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Raumz 02-16-07, 05:25 PM	I bring this up because a while ago I asked a question and posted the resolution to the situation because I thought it was funny. There is one part people really seemed to get a kick out of. So I was wondering what other funny thing PCs/players have done. The PC in a adventure I was DMing wanted to assassinate a noble just to test his skills. So he hide some shuriken in his bracer and tied a sheathed dagger to the inside of his thigh and put wore some loose leather pants over it to hide it. He got past the guard by a good roll on his part. Inside the noble got him with sense motive and called for the guard. So the PC ripped his pants off and draws the dagger and throws it at the noble and begins to throw the shuriken at the noble. So when the guard comes in he sees the guy he just let in pantless and throwing things at his boss...After a Matrix-like chase the PC got thrown into the cell where he is still pantsless and plotting his escape.
Xandria 02-16-07, 06:59 PM	*refer to siggy lines*
Keiichi_m 02-16-07, 07:27 PM	One of my characters started the campaign completly naked except his spear and a rop around his waist carrying a pouch (on the side hiding nothing), and didn't understand the concept of clothing himself, so the first night in town he got chased around by the gaurd untill he ducked into a bar, bought the largest keg they had, jumped in and drank the entire thing. The next time the party saw him he had the entire bar running down main street naked and he was wearing the keg.
damixmastermike 02-16-07, 07:31 PM	4. PC: I rolled a 6 on my climb check DM: You fail... PC: (interupting) then I tumble instead. DM: No, you can't tumble up a tree. PC: Why not? DM: Because you can't fall up a tree. (to this day, the PC still thinks you should be able to tumble up trees)
AlphaSquirell 02-16-07, 08:20 PM	PC: I open the door. DM: *rolls* Scythe trap swings in front of the door when you tug on it, doing 7 damage. PC: Dang... (9 health) Party: Way to go, genius. You always set off the traps. DM: Now what are you guys gonna do? PC: I touch the door again. Everyone: :eek: Guess what? Yes, the trap does reset. As many traps as this guy has set off, we figured he was smart enough to not trigger the same one again, when he KNEW how it worked and where it was. We were wrong. A few minutes later. A trap. They've seen one. Speak the word "Friend" in Dwarven tongue, and they got a slew of healing potions. Next word is "Death". First one obviously a set up so they will trigger the trap. The party promptly clears conceivable trap radius as he approaches it. He triggers the trap. Cloud of gas, he takes some damage, but passes saves for disease/weakness/stat-drain/whatever. Before the party can come back to him, however, they are ambushed by Goblins infesting the Dwarven keep, waiting to assault an isolated PC. Of course, the first comment on the "Death" statue was "Don't do it." He was like, "I'll be fine". Someone actually said "Remember the scythe?" He did. It didn't matter. The funny thing the REST of the party did was re-classify his archetype (he's a Monk, so the melee archetype) as the "trapmonkey". In our campaign, all Monk's are officially trapmonkies, as the only Monks our party has ever had have been, "The Trapmonkey".
CaviosDaryll 02-16-07, 09:47 PM	In the very first dungeon in my campaign (and incidentally, only dungeon) the group found a room that was, basically, the latrine. It had a pit where all the refuse (garbage and human waste matter) would be thrown. This dungeon I think was a couple decades over a century. Now, the party Rogue thought that I might hide something down there in the pit. So, what did he do? He leapt in. The smell was overwhelming, he got nauseated, but still managed to pass a few Fort saves versus who-the-heck-knows what diseases were in there. He couldn't climb out (as the level of the... liquid was a few feet below the top of the pit), and so the group threw a rope to him. He grabbed it, and the party Black Guard and Cleric both hauled on it. They rolled poorly, and since him and his gear weighed near 300 pounds he got up a bit... and then splashed back in. It was quite some time before the group would tolerate being in the same room with him. And for your own curiousity, no, there wasn't anything at all of value down there.
coppro 02-16-07, 10:40 PM	Party runs into a pit of lava (hidden under floor). Floor breaks. Ranger fails Reflex save, lands in lava. Makes it out, but is disabled. Barbarian attempts a jump. Misses. Lands in lava, but makes it out to other side... Ranger is knocked unconcious. Weak old sorceror jumps... lands it. Everyone else goes. Net result: Cleric's at 3 HP Dragon Shaman is unconsious at -1 Barbarian is at 5 HP Ranger is unconsious at -3 Sorceror is at full health No spells were cast, except for the cleric's complete SPD on cure spells.
samusco 02-16-07, 11:36 PM	While fighting a Huge Green Dragon PC: Oh fool dragon, your army can never hold up to the strong numbers our kingdom has. DM: I'm not stupid you know. I'm not going start telling you info about my army so you can give it to your king. NOW DIE PC: Ah but a dragon as powerful as you should kill us right and seeing as were going to die.... DM: breath attack, you lose your turn out of stupidity and the dragon does 132 hit points worth of damage and knocks you out. PC: now that I am down you can tell me about your.... DM: you die because the dragon eats your vocal cords.
Drausktanchache 02-17-07, 12:06 AM	i actually did this, I am a rouge with a 15 str. it was great on the part of the dm too: PC: I try to open the Crypt door. DM: It is locked. PC: I pull out my rapier and find a fist sized rock to pound on the door. DM: Ok..you are pounding on the door. PC 2: I make a listen check. PC 3: So do I. *rolls* *rolls* DM: Both of you hear a loud pounding, seemingly coming from the entrance stairway. PC 3: I go to the door. PC: Ok i drop the rock and start to push. *rolls* 19 (19+2)=21 DM: The door moves a little bit. *To PC 3* DM: You see the door come in a bit. DM: Make a balance check, to keep from falling down the stairs. *makes it* PC: I push again. *rolls* 20 (20+2)=22 DM: the door buckles in some more. PC 3: I start to scream for our meatshield. DM *to PC 2*: You hear PC 3 screaming. PC 2: I go to the main area. DM: ok, you are standing at the stairs, about 50 ft away. PC: I give it another push. *rolls* 20 (20+2)=22 DM: the door now evens out, it is in equally far on all points of contact to the wall. PC 3: I sprint down the stairs as fast as possible. PC: I push again. *rolls* 20 (20+2)=22 DM: "I was hoping this would happen" (ooc) Ok the Crypt door goes flying inward, you find yourself riding down the 100ft of staris. *to PC 2,3* you hear a very loud grinding, *to PC 2* You see PC flying down the stairs on what looks like the crypt door. He stops with a metallic ting at your boots. PC 2 *to me (PC)*: You stupid rouge...
damixmastermike 02-17-07, 01:03 AM	In the very first dungeon in my campaign (and incidentally, only dungeon) the group found a room that was, basically, the latrine. It had a pit where all the refuse (garbage and human waste matter) would be thrown. This dungeon I think was a couple decades over a century. Now, the party Rogue thought that I might hide something down there in the pit. So, what did he do? He leapt in. The smell was overwhelming, he got nauseated, but still managed to pass a few Fort saves versus who-the-heck-knows what diseases were in there. He couldn't climb out (as the level of the... liquid was a few feet below the top of the pit), and so the group threw a rope to him. He grabbed it, and the party Black Guard and Cleric both hauled on it. They rolled poorly, and since him and his gear weighed near 300 pounds he got up a bit... and then splashed back in. It was quite some time before the group would tolerate being in the same room with him. And for your own curiousity, no, there wasn't anything at all of value down there. Exact same thing happened to me (with the same PC as mentioned above) but instead he sifted through Kobold Fieces, finding nothing.
Comus 02-17-07, 01:40 AM	I ran my players through an adapted version of "The Trouble With Tribbles." The brave level 6 characters bravely ran away from the CR2 rat swarms with slightly different descriptions. They then hired bards to try and 'pied piper' the things. Of course, they managed to get Dethklok, so things eventually worked out. God, having the bards introduce themselves was fun. Swiftear the Elf, lives in a tree Dugan Waraxe, not a bumblebee W'chta Murderface Murderface MURDERFACE Gimble the Gnome doodly doo ding dong doodly doo Nathan Fireball!!! Currently my players are hiding in a wizard's tower, hoping to escape the wrath of Elvish Nazis, and probably planning on jumping planet the first chance they get. I've gotta sit down with these guys and tell them they can, occasionally, solve problems with violence. You'd think an Evoker and a Warblade wouldn't go for the diplomatic route.
Keiichi_m 02-17-07, 01:46 AM	I ran my players through an adapted version of "The Trouble With Tribbles." You sir, by referancing Tribbles, here-by gain 5 awesome points.
darkhunter2007 02-17-07, 03:10 AM	one of my PCs played a rogue this scene is from a conversetion: DM:"Good morning!" PC:"Baruh ha'shem" (means the g-d is blessed) he's religios so this is what he does every morning i was, i mean both of us whare(or was?) rofl
JerBar 02-17-07, 03:32 AM	The game was basic DnD. The quest was "find the three artifacts, the Lawful Sword, the Neutral Armor, and the Shield of chaos" The PC was a Lawful Elf. DM: "Ok, you beat the big nasty monster and in the back of the cave you see a glowing red sheild leaning against the wall." PC: "I walk over and pick up the shield" DM: "You pick up the shield?" PC: "Yes" DM: "You pick up the glowing red shield?" PC: "Yes" DM: "The glowing red shield of chaos?" PC: "Yes" DM: "With your hands?" PC: "Yes, with my hands" DM: "Your bare hands?" PC: "Yep" DM: "So you, a lawful elf, walk over to the glowing red shield of chaos, the chaotic artifact, and pick it up with your bare hands?" PC: "Yes" DM: Rolls many dice.
keelsc 02-17-07, 01:43 PM	I wasnt DMing this game but it was still pretty funny: it was me (Halfling Rouge), my sister (Half-elf Necromancer), and my cousin (Elven Druid w/ a Wolf). we were wondering the city looking for a job when we learned two things: the noblemans son was kidnapped, and a near by farming community was having trouble. so first we went over to the mansion to talk to the noble man who wasnt there. so my sister and cousin went off to the farming community leaving my to stand around a mansion So there wandering through the forest: Dm: you hear a scratching noise Necro: I look behind us. Dm: The is a chair with a rotten corpse sitting on it Druid: We continue down the path Dm: you continue to hear the noise Necro: I turn around Dm: the corpse and chair seem closer Druid: I attack the Corpse! *several rolls later* Dm: you cut off the corpses head Necro: we continue to walk Dm: All of the sunden your attacked from behind yes they were attacked by an animated chair, the great part is they would have died had it not been for the Druids Wolf
dragonwelp 02-17-07, 02:10 PM	well you never go sell pen and paper to barbarian's, who are angry on you because you just bluft that the person you kill in there bar a few secondes before was poison there beer what they hardly beliefde. I didn't know who fast to go hide somewhere :hides: PS: i don't know if it is correct englisch
darkneolink 02-18-07, 12:45 AM	Well this is the situation: Me (CN Human rogue a little crazy (might have had Kender heritage) and from the town of solace... yup dragonlance campaign setting) and some other players who doesn't reallu matter for this story were inside a dungeon were i Filled 3 empty bottles with the dust of a statue, then we got to a room were an evil wizard was trying to do a ritual to bring takhissis to the world using a magickal mirror that reflected light to open a portal. what did my partners did? they tryed to destroy the mirror (wich they couldn't). what did i do? threw the dust to the mirror so It would be too dirty to reflect the light that it needed to open the portal. what did the wizard did? died in the hands (or fireballs) of our sorcerer
docballen 02-19-07, 04:52 AM	Our group was in this mansion... it was a challenge to spend the entire night in the mansion without getting killed (so we could win a million gp each). One of the BBEG's was right downstairs throwing spells at us. One of the party members went into one of the upstairs bedrooms and pulled out one of the bed mattresses. We all piled up on the mattress except for the strongest one of the bunch, who shoved the mattress down the stairs... and we plowed the BBEG down and left him unconscious under the mattress.
Sunic_Flames 02-19-07, 10:54 AM	One of mine got the idea to go rummaging around in an alley for live mice. Once she had them, she decides to start juggling them as a performance. Yes, you heard that right. She rolled a modified 30 on the perform too. Yes it's weird... but my players are insane. :P
KendallDM 02-19-07, 02:03 PM	This story comes to me by one of my players. He was DMing a game in which his players learned about the haunting of a nearby mansion. After some information gathering, they discovered that a ghost did, in fact, inhabit the mansion, but that the ghost was only active at night. So, the players enter the mansion during the day and fight through various tough encounters before they realize that the hour is getting late. Since the fights were tough, and the ghost manifests at night, they decided they would probably want to avoid it. But they decided that by barricading themselves into the master bedroom and keeping no light and very quiet, that they could pass the night. Well, during the night, the player on watch hears a scratching at the door. He alerts the rest of the players, and the scratching continues unabated, eventually becoming frantic and with howling agony. The party, scared out of thier wits, huddles together and hopes that the thing can't get through the door. Noone gets a lick of sleep, and morning eventually arrives, with the scratching and howling fading away. Then one of the players goes to inspect the outside of the door... ... only the scratches were on the inside of the door. They were in the same room as the ghost and neither the players or the ghost knew it. Hilarious.
SmiloDan 02-19-07, 02:50 PM	I was DMing and the party had to get the big treasure out of the secret vault. The secret being the vault was in the chest of an iron golem at the bottom of a long vertical shaft. The floor was trapped with reverse gravity, and the "floor" was really a big stone cube that would crush the PCs on the "ceiling." The walls were greased with a magical oil that would burn long and hot if ignited, because magical fire adds hit points to iron golems. So, the PCs get to the trap encounter and figure everything out about the Reverse Gravity-trapped floor and iron golem. They lower the fighter-archer down on a rope. No problem. Then the fighter-archer lights the walls on fire. The Iron Golem went from about 150 hp to about 1000 hp. But they lucked out and managed not to fight the iron golem. Oh, well. This same player once played a gnome rogue that fought off 8 wyverns singlehandedly by using a wand of fireballs with Range Zero, Use Magic Device, and Evasion.
Dag 02-19-07, 03:22 PM	Ok. Brand new campaign, one DM three players. First session only two players are there, the third player called and is on his way. So the first two players (my friend and I) started out knowing each other since we came from similar backgrounds. So we are travelling, for some reason, from the city we came from to this village in the mountains. A few miles outside of town we see a man approaching us down the mountain slope, a mountain of a man, 6 and a half feet tall, dressed in furs and pelts from head to toe. This is the third PC whose player called and said he was on his way, his character was a mountain man (the 2nd edition kit) ranger. So he's approaching us and the phone rings and the third player informs the DM that he is going to be late. So the DM says this furred giant of a man walking toward us suddenly turns around and runs back into the mountains. We dont give chase but my friend yells "Sasquatch!" and I get a good laugh. We continue to town and arrive after dark at an Inn. My friend, who is playing a bard is asked to entertain the crowd for the evening, so he gets in front of the large fireplace, the dozen or so villagers there gather around as the bard tells the story about this child eating beast called sasquatch who lives in the surrounding mountains...This knuckle dragging, man-eating, rabid beast who preys on isolated mountain villages like this one; steals their children and livestock etc... Well anyways, this player rolls incredibly well on his storytelling roll. It's late at night in this wintery village, the fire is dying because the inn keeper, the tavern wenches and all the guests are spell-bound listening to this bard, the younger ones there even huddling closer to others or looking about nervously with a bit of fright... So just then out of game there's a knock on the door. The third player has finally arrived. The DM takes him aside briefly, letting this Ranger mountain-man know that he saw two adventurer types travel through the mountain pass a few hours ago and one of them yelled a greeting or something out to you. So the ranger tracks us to the town and to the tavern. So this sasquatch story is just ending as the tavern door swings open and in walks this monstrously large and burly mountain man. There's a collective gasp from the villagers but my friend, who's playing the bard, gives the ranger's player just long enough to describe his character before he (Ther bard's player) has his character leap out of his seat, point to the mountain man standing in the door way and yells "SASQUATCH!" The DM told me later that he rolled to see how the NPC villagers (Most of who were the village's hunters and lumberjacks) reacted to this. He said he rolled that they were enraged. So they gang-rushed this mountain man and beat him to a pulp.
Soluphobe 02-19-07, 03:33 PM	X: The PCs are fighting some trolls at level 6, and X is staying out of combat (hadn't done a thing for two IRL hours except draw some muffins and...bad...pictures of PCs he didn't know were dead). Then: X: We're fighting? Me: Yes, and you have been for the past fifteen minutes. Against trolls. X: Okay, I attack the goblins. [Note: Fighter, 18 Str, with greatsword] Me: Okay, you charge up valiently at the trolls and-- X: No. I throw some gold at the goblins. Me: One, they are trolls. Two, how much gold do you throw? [He was kind of annoying that session. Actually, all campaign.] X: Uh, all my GP! Me: Okay, you're broke. The gold, as an improvised weapon with range 5, flies a short way and bounces, not doing anything. One of the trolls notices you. He's attacking viciously! X: What?! The goblin wasn't attacking anyone, and now he's attacking me! Me: :banghead: It. Is. A. TROLL! X: Okay, I bash it. Me: No, IT is attacking YOU. [Dice rolled, Troll grabs X and throws him down a sixty foot pit.] Me: You take [not sure] damage. X: What! I'm dead! Me: Okay, roll a new character. X: I got killed by a stupid goblin. Everyone: TROLL!!!!!!!!! Note: I checked, and the damage could NOT have killed him, even if he rolled ones consistantly for his HP. Upon investigation, he somehow copied the HP of the wizard back at level three and never updated. :uh-huh: And a year later, the following dialog ensued. Me: Hey X, what was your last character killed by? X: A goblin. Y: It was a troll! [five minutes pass...] Me: Hey X, what was your last character killed by? X: A goblin.
generadoom15 02-20-07, 11:10 PM	Oh, boy, I've got a million of these stories. Okay, here's a good one: We had been playing a Cthulu game for about six weeks now, and most of our characters had gone insane at least once. One of the other party members had contracted amnesia. He couldn't remember who we were or what we were fighting, so I figured the best thing to do was explain things on the boat ride over to the temple of doom or wherever we were headed. The conversation ran like this. DM: Okay, you have now boarded the motorboat. It will take you several hours to reach the island. Me: I'll use the time to get Scott caught up on our adventures. DM: You're going to...tell him about everything you've been through? Me: Yup. DM: Okay. [consults table] Scott, make about seventeen Will saves. Me: ...oops. He ended up getting seven insanities, including hydrophobia in the middle of the ocean (shortly after which, he died of a heart attack). Also, it is not a good idea to roll a natural 1 on a search check for hookers.
Kitaki 02-20-07, 11:56 PM	Warforged gets attacked by a swarm of bugs, fighter throws alchemists fire onto warforged, warforged catches fire, runs into nearest body of water, nearest body of water happens to be sewer, fire + methane gas = boom
dpity1 02-24-07, 01:45 AM	The group is in my first real reactive campaign, and has never before had control over the plot. Thus, they expect any adventure opportunity to be what they have to do, and thus automatically be a good idea. So, the group finds themselves in Elven lands, and rolls gather information for work. This leads them to the criminal syndicate. Led by a Drow Mafia boss. Who proceeds to tell them how he wants some cop dead. So, the all-good-aligned-group of PCs, none with a low intelligence score as an excuse, agree to kill an Elven police captain, in the service of a Drow mob boss, without thinking twice. And, until I beat them over the head with the idea, do not realize that killing the Elven police chief might be an evil action. Or that the Drow Mafia may, in fact, not be a good-aligned organization. It was priceless. And right before this they had set fire to an entire village that, three days before, worshiped them as heroes.
MasonMurdoc 02-24-07, 04:13 AM	These are all the same player He dropped and can up:confused: :confused: :confused: On our first campaign he made a healing cleric of Pelor that wanted to be a necrmancer:confused: Eventually made a necro using College of Necromancy book or something He trys to rob three of the PCs succeeds twice 3rd one wakes up cas the guards He jumps out the window kiling himself.....almost Ends up going back to his clumsy cleric I'll probably have more to add I idn't add numbers because people seem to have just stopped anyway
s4ndm4n 02-24-07, 02:00 PM	Im playing as a player. Im a wizard. Im lvl 17, my buddies are lvl 18 Orc barbarian and lvl 19 human fighter. we are evil, we are about to make a buisness with a crime lord. well, the arch-rogue got offended because of my "detect thoughts". He was a pit fiend, LOL:eek: he had figher class levels as we learned later:eek: he power-word-stunned me. the fighter moved on to carry me and leave, when he power-word-stunned him 2.(he had 121 HPs, not much of a CON.) then a real rogue popped out:eek: and sneak attacked the barbarian. THE 28-STR-BARBARIAN WITH INSTANT RAGE FEAT(36 STR) TRIED TO CARRY BOTH ME AND THE FIGHTER. then the pit fiend power-word-stunned him too (he had 139 HP by then) and afterwards he somehow opened a gate to gehena, where he threw the whole party.:weep: Stunned, we began rolling towards a &%#*%*&#(&@% volcano. Attention, this was NOT a gay moment. want 2 know what happened afterwards?the amazing orc woke up 1st and saved us. we gave him a cookie and plotted our revenge together....h@ h@