Post/Author/DateTime	Post
JulesCARV 04-15-07, 02:40 AM	1. Let your player play his overpowered character build -- and take arbitrary and contrived revenge upon him in game. Example: Original post: "One of my players wants to play a dweomerkeeper cleric/wizard, mainly cleric, with the Sovereign Host as his religion and Magic and Artifice as his domains. Looking over the dweomerkeeper's supernatural spell ability, it looks like with the artifice domain he'll be able to cast true creation every day, creating any amount of platinum, without paying an experience cost. Should I ban the dweomerkeeper?" Advice: "I'd say that you could let him play a dweomerkeeper, but have the dweomerkeepers be a heretical sect of the Sovereign Host which believes that all magic is the same in Aureon's eyes, and that arcane, divine, dragonmarks, and all other forms of magic can be understood with sufficient devotion and study. Their beliefs make them hated by the majority of the Sovereign Host, which holds divine magic to be a miracle of faith seperate from arcane magic, and their research into spells which would allow them to create permanent true dragonmarks on any recipient have made them hated by all of the dragonmarked houses, so every ordinary cleric of the Sovereign Host who knows what he is will try to kill him on sight, and all of the dragonmarked houses are trying to assassinate him." 2. Slavishly adhere to all DMG guidelines. Example: Original post: "One of my players is playing a very good-oriented psion who wants to help the poor, improve life for ordinary people and the like, and has been using about 15% of his wealth to set up free schools, shelters, soup kitchens, etc, in poor villages and bad urban neighborhoods. Overall, his character isn't exactly poor, and he's still reasonably effective in combat, but I'm wondering: should I do something to compensate for his lost wealth in game terms? Like, maybe people he's helped find little ways of helping him with tips or good authorities are more inclined to help him by giving him access to sealed state archives or something since he's established himself as a philanthropist?" Advice: "While he's away from the party, have him find wealth that he needn't split with the rest of the party, or have a rich distant relative die and leave him as heir or something. Basically, giving his money away is a matter of flavor, and if he wants his character to be a philanthropist in flavor, that's fine, but it shouldn't have an impact on his actual wealth in terms of magic items and such useful stuff, so make sure that he gets special 'coincidental' fortuitous finds that make up for the gold he gives away and bring his wealth back up to the amount in the recommended wealth-by-level table on page 135 of the DMG." 3. Have the game world react in an incredible manner to thwart any plan that you didn't anticipate. Example: Original post: "One of my players is playing a wizard with craft wondrous item. He's recently come up with a modestly profitable money-making scheme. He wants to create an Eternal Wand of Continual Flame, which would allow him to cast continual flame twice per day, without the usual 50 gp ruby dust cost. He'll then make everburning torches, and try to sell them for 110 gp, but if necessary sell for a bit cheaper. Even if he has to go down to a price of 50 gp, that would net 100 gp per day, so the wand would pay for itself in 44 days. This doesn't seem utterly broken, but I'm wondering: should I allow it? Or should I only allow eternal wands of spells without expensive components?" Advice: "I'd say let him do it, but if he does, he has to join the lamp-lighting guild, which would force him to turn over all profit but maybe 5 gp per everburning torch (hey, 10 gp per day for two continual flame castings is good money for a non-adventurer, as most lamplighting magewrights would be). If he refuses to join, the lamp-lighting guild hires a powerful assassin which kills him in his sleep."
Free1983 04-15-07, 04:13 AM	4) Boot a player as soon as he/she has an other idea of his or her character than you (DM) have. Example: Look around guys :P. Solution: Talk to the player and give rational reasons to explain your choices. Wouldn't these pieces of advice make up for aproximatly 50% of the advices given here on the boards :D?
Fuzzypaws 04-15-07, 12:38 PM	5) Belittle a player because their character concept doesn't fit your small-minded view of what the PHB says an adventurer is, and tell them what they're going to be. Example: Original Post: I have a player who wants to play a 12-year-old character. I really have no problem with this. However I feel that some penalties should ensue. I was going to impose a -1 penalty on physical stats for every 2 years below the minimum age for the class. Does this seem a fair balance? Advice: Ah yes, another "One of my players wants to play a 5 year old wizard" thread. Simple answer: No. It's easy: No. You're the DM, you can say it. The books have already done the work for you. It's right in there for anyone to see. Honestly, what can be SO CRUCIAL to this character's background that the character can't be 15? Screw the drama, screw the arguments--take a stand and say, "your character is 15, not 12". It's just a little 2 you change to a 5--then there's no arguments and everyone is happy.
Krusk 04-15-07, 01:17 PM	6- Kill any character who questions the rules. example "i think the dc for this climb check should be less than 40, its just a rock wall?" "oh yeah? lighting strikes you, roll up another character"
PwnageLlama 04-15-07, 01:40 PM	Have the BBEG TPK the party every time. Example: After fighting your way through fourty rooms of the haughted castle, the level 20 sorcerer/ 20 cleric casts an empowered meteor swarm. What, the fighter isn't dead? OK, A skeliton archer pops up from the groung and shhots you.
Pegasos989 04-15-07, 02:08 PM	8) Ban "unbalanced" material Example: Post: "I have a player who uses Duskblade from PHB2. Wtih shocking grasp and blade of blood, he can thrice per day deal 7d6 + normal damage at 4th level! Every boss fight is over with a round or two. What should I do?" Answer: "It is obiously powergamer using unbalanced material. Kill his character and ban PHB2." Better solution: Talk to the player and ban that specific use of the class if it poses a problem. Don't ban a whole book for that kind of thing.
Kuronue 04-15-07, 08:12 PM	9). Insist that numbers are everything, that stats and skills are all that ever matters. Player: "Alright, well I'll ask the bartender for a beer" DM: "Diplomacy check! And then a sense motive, and then an appraise to see if the price of beer is about right!" 10) Insist that numbers are stupid and roleplaying is everything Player: "Well, my sword is bigger than the fairy, so I think I should auto-hit" DM: "That's a good point, in fact, make that an auto-crit, and 100XP for roleplaying!"
Etarnon 04-23-07, 03:08 AM	Create a thread that says advice is bad, when a young DM asks for it in the first place, quoting advice that the quoter doesn't agree with. No advice is bad, that's why it is Advice, not Law. Take it or leave it, including this post.
AffableDoomwalker 04-23-07, 03:47 AM	11: Take everything personally. 12: Never draw your own conclusions, and agree with everything you read on these forums. 13: Lack a sense of humor, and give the world a rhetorical soapbox about how all advice is good advice. 14:Take my advice, TPKing your party at the beginning of a game is AWESOME, fun, and makes for excellent RPing plot, your players will love it!
Free1983 04-23-07, 07:54 AM	Create a thread that says advice is bad, when a young DM asks for it in the first place, quoting advice that the quoter doesn't agree with. Dude, I don't think this thread is a showdown between posters on this board. So I don't think that should feel offended, even if you recognize yourself in one of the examples. And in the end, this thread makes clear to young DMs that certain practices are not good DMing so they are learning something although it might not be the most constructive form of learning. No advice is bad, that's why it is Advice, not Law. Yeah, I see! If someone asks me how to jump out of a plane, it sure is more evil to give him no advice than to give him the advice to jump out of it unprepared with no parachute. No advice is not bad, and it is definitly not bad when you don't have a clue what kind of advice you need to give. Cheers
Castegyre 04-23-07, 08:05 AM	15) You can never have too many players! The first time I ever DMd I was told that 'the more the merrier' was the way to go. I had 9 players and it was a nightmare. 4 to 6 players is nice, and too many players can overwhelm someone new to being DM.
Torack 04-23-07, 08:08 AM	16. Take the advice provided in this thread serious. *Points to Free1983*
Free1983 04-23-07, 09:03 AM	You could consider taking the opposite of the advice serious :P
Etarnon 04-23-07, 09:30 AM	I give my advice based on my personal experience. If it's valuable take it, or not. If someone asks me how to jump out of a plane, it sure is more evil to give him no advice than to give him the advice to jump out of it unprepared with no parachute. But, I'm still not sure, you go first. After you go, I ask someone else still on the plane, because I'm trying to learn, that's why I ask people that speak from experience, not with an evil agenda. I think we agree that's what this place should be. Yes? Cheers.
RobbyPants 04-23-07, 10:06 AM	17) Never let the PCs interupt your BBEG's monolog. OP: After five sessions of tracking down the BBEG, the PCs found him in his lair. He began monologing, to explain the unknown intentions of his plot, and the PCs all started attacking him before he was ready!!! They killed him because of his low initiative roll! Advice: Remember: your BBEG is more important than all of the PCs together. Even if the monolog takes ten rounds in game time, don't let the PCs stop the monolog. Use a Hold Person trap (no save) of some sort. If the PC whips out a save-or-die spell, the BBEG auto-saves!
AffableDoomwalker 04-23-07, 07:31 PM	18: When in doubt, railroad.
Pangeon 04-23-07, 09:54 PM	18: When in doubt, railroad. 19. When in doubt, Sudden Maxamize it. :rolleyes:
MethaneGranola 04-23-07, 09:58 PM	20) follow the rules exactly, they are the rules and they are there for a reason! and that reason is to slow down play and make encounters right Ex: DM: the zombie opens the sarcophogus and charges you! Player:wait he cant do that, zombies can only take single actions!
tennyocelestia 04-24-07, 12:32 AM	21) Kill a character because you assume they or another character have absolutely no common sense at all/every single nitpicky character action must be explicitly stated. EX of in-game usage: Player Bob: Ok, I fire my prepared crossbow bolt at the kobold. Holy crap, natural 20! I crit for 15 damage! DM: Hey, isn't Player Ted's character standing right in front of you? You didn't say you moved first! Since Player Ted only had 5 HP left, he drops to -10 HP and dies. Player Bob: ... Dude, I really have to say that my character moved about five inches to the right to avoid hitting Ted's character in the back? DM: Yes. EX of forum usage (not an exact quote, just an idea of what might be said): POST: "So Player Bob's character fires off his crossbow, but since he didn't say he moved five inches to the left, he technically would have hit Ted's character in the back. What should I do? Bob and Ted think that's total crap, but Jane and Edguardo say it's not..." REPLY: "Dude, kill off Ted's character. Teach Bob a lesson! You have to be specific in every single one of your actions, no matter HOW high their WIS is and how obvious they think it is that Bob's character would have moved five inches to the left!"
AffableDoomwalker 04-24-07, 12:59 AM	22: Remember, you must never, under any circumstances, tell your players what their characters are seeing, and hearing, how well lit an area/room is, or anything else, about their current environment. They're smart enough to ask.
jesters89 04-24-07, 01:24 AM	23) Players love it when being captured is a necessary component to move the story forward.
Cricket_God 04-24-07, 02:39 AM	24) The CR system is flawless. If a monster's CR says your party can take it, they can.
Cthulhu-LQ 04-24-07, 09:18 AM	25) Every BBEG loves cookies and milk 26) Rock falls everyone dies
Murrdox 04-24-07, 09:31 AM	27) As the DM, it's YOUR game. You should feel no obligation to create the sort of Adventure that your players would enjoy playing. Have fun creating your game world and your adventure, and don't listen to them when they say they're bored. If the players want a game that is full of combat, dungeon crawls, and treasure, explain to them how wrong they are. Then create a campaign filled with politics, mystery solving, scheming, and bribery. Give them a combat encounter every 3 or 4 playing sessions.
Ekranoplan 04-24-07, 10:11 AM	28) Never forget the real object of the game, and that is to WIN. Do not give your PCs the slightest bit of leeway or they will turn that into a killing advantage.
Free1983 04-24-07, 10:33 AM	I think we agree that's what this place should be. Yes? Agreed, just saying that this isn't a thread with people with an evil agenda. Perhaps I misunderstood your first post. In that case, sorry. Cheers
Krusk 04-24-07, 11:51 AM	29- remember Players vs DM. 30- you should incorperate an npc hugely more powerful than the pcs, so that they know how to solve your quests, and to protect them.
WHW4 04-24-07, 12:26 PM	31: What ever you do, refuse to adjust to your group's dynamic. If there's no cleric, force them into a grudging battle of attrition. Player's love waiting days and days between travelling. This means they can have more random encounters, thus punishing their mistake even further! Eventually they will all pick clerics, in which case you must attack their adaptability with puzzles involving Know: Arcana checks. Thousands of puzzles! 32: Never let those selfish selfish PCs shine. They'll become too used to winning in your "gritty, dark, twisted emo-world where everyone dies anyway so what's the point?"
_Jayne_Cobb_ 04-24-07, 12:41 PM	33. Remember: the players are your audience. Whenever possible, plot out precisely what will happen and do not allow the PCs to deviate from this course of action in any way. 34. Always play a DMPC in your game, ensure that said DMPC is better than the PCs in every way and should take the spotlight whenever possible. Note: this allows you to ignore the illumnation and darkness rules as the sun shines out of the DMPC's ass. 35. TPK stands for "Totally Ph*cking Kewl."
Cromulent 04-24-07, 01:13 PM	36. D&D is a multiplayer game. Multiplayer games are, by definition, competitive affairs. You should encourage your players to fight amongst themselves. Maybe you only award XP to the characters who deliver killing blows to monsters. Or maybe you only give XP to the two characters with the highest hit point totals at the end of combat. In any case, strongly encourage your players to play opposite-aligned characters. Having a High Priest of Nerull in the group with a Paladin of Pelor isn't just a good idea, it would make a great sitcom. 37. Never forget that you can get involved in the fun too! Your players will comprise a single party, or "team." This leaves you, the DM, playing the other "team." The key to winning D&D is beating the players. They'll inevitably use multiple source books and rules loopholes to try to beat you, so don't hesitate to counter by going well above the "recommended" CR when building encounters. 38. If you get stuck, or if the players are beating you, or the players do anything you don't like, use us as a resource. Post a message with the title "How do I punish my players for X," and scores of helpful DMs will share tricks and tactics they used when defeating their own players. Level 2 Paladin giving you trouble? Disease is the answer... he won't be immune until level 3. That's irony!
AffableDoomwalker 04-25-07, 02:03 AM	39. Always tell your players what the DC is for the check/save they're making. Always. Especially when you're dealing with traps. If they whine about it, its because you're being unfair and not telling them. 40. Never make it a point to know, or at least have a general idea concerning what your Players' characters are capable of, and be sure to take their word when they tell you "Don't worry, I made the save." They wouldn't lie to you. 41. Never ever ask for character concepts, or discuss character creation, and remember, these are your Players' characters here, not yours, so be sure to let them choose whatever races, templates, feats, classes, and PrCs they want to, even from 3rd-party sources, and books nobody in the group actually owns (PDF files are a perfectly acceptable substitute). 42. Never, ever, kill, maim, disable, harm, or otherwise penalize a PC under any circumstances. Combat, obviously/blatantly stupid behavior in dungeons, and consuming strangely colored/smelling [anything] are all only a minor part of D&D, and besides, adventurers sign up to get rich and famous! Why should they actually have to participate in dangerous adventures?!
Etarnon 04-25-07, 11:31 AM	43. Try to run 3.5 if you are a dyed in the wool 1e or 2e, DM. 44. Think of feats as new cool things for your pc to do, that won't affect combat (much). 45. Generate scenarios with unique titles (so as not to fall into the Classic Module everyone's played trap) like "Stockade of the Beaver Lord", "Against the paying of the Hill Giant Fee", "in the Dungeon of the Snot Lord", "Expedition to the Barrier Feet", "Torching of the Crystal Lab" 46. Force your girlfriend to play, because she's got a roleplayer soul (like everyone), you just have to find it. 47. To get new players to your game, Run up with a stack of books and say AC 17, HP 45, BAB +10, LVL 4, Fort save! Roll, roll, roll!. 48. when Grandma levels, give her 3 minutes to choose from over 400 Prcs. When she messes it up, yell at her. 49. Play in graveyards after dark, by candlelight. When police show up, display your SCA weaponry, and offer to joust.
Stormbrand 04-25-07, 01:24 PM	21) Kill a character because you assume they or another character have absolutely no common sense at all/every single nitpicky character action must be explicitly stated. EX of in-game usage: Player Bob: Ok, I fire my prepared crossbow bolt at the kobold. Holy crap, natural 20! I crit for 15 damage! DM: Hey, isn't Player Ted's character standing right in front of you? You didn't say you moved first! Since Player Ted only had 5 HP left, he drops to -10 HP and dies. Player Bob: ... Dude, I really have to say that my character moved about five inches to the right to avoid hitting Ted's character in the back? DM: Yes. EX of forum usage (not an exact quote, just an idea of what might be said): POST: "So Player Bob's character fires off his crossbow, but since he didn't say he moved five inches to the left, he technically would have hit Ted's character in the back. What should I do? Bob and Ted think that's total crap, but Jane and Edguardo say it's not..." REPLY: "Dude, kill off Ted's character. Teach Bob a lesson! You have to be specific in every single one of your actions, no matter HOW high their WIS is and how obvious they think it is that Bob's character would have moved five inches to the left!" Had a DM like that. 22: Remember, you must never, under any circumstances, tell your players what their characters are seeing, and hearing, how well lit an area/room is, or anything else, about their current environment. They're smart enough to ask. And that. 29- remember Players vs DM. 30- you should incorperate an npc hugely more powerful than the pcs, so that they know how to solve your quests, and to protect them. And on occasion, he did that. 31: What ever you do, refuse to adjust to your group's dynamic. If there's no cleric, force them into a grudging battle of attrition. Player's love waiting days and days between travelling. This means they can have more random encounters, thus punishing their mistake even further! Eventually they will all pick clerics, in which case you must attack their adaptability with puzzles involving Know: Arcana checks. Thousands of puzzles! 32: Never let those selfish selfish PCs shine. They'll become too used to winning in your "gritty, dark, twisted emo-world where everyone dies anyway so what's the point?" And oh yes, definitely that.
Krusk 04-25-07, 03:18 PM	/\ sounds like a quality DM.
Dontan 04-25-07, 05:46 PM	44. Deus Ex Machina. The players love it.
MethaneGranola 04-25-07, 07:03 PM	45) if the players arent falling for a trick your really like, keep trying until they fail their saves, anti toxins arent good for players, it just means they will get bitten by more spiders until they get poisoned 46) instant death effect save DCs are too low, you have to pump them up for them to be effective 47) campains should progress like this goblin-hobgoblin-orc-bugbears- ogres- trolls- hill giants-stone giants-frost giants-fire giants- TARRESQUE!!!! 48) the game isnt about you, if you arent enjoying the game, then you need to keep it up, you are obligated and in response to #22, the nat 20 would still hit the monster, a 20 is a auto hit, but if it had been anthing other than a 20, then the monsters AC is uped by 4 for having cover, you can hit the person in the way if you miss by less than 4
Wizard Random 04-25-07, 08:22 PM	49: Remeber creativity is KEY if you want to spice up your game, lower all the spell levels by 1, 0 level spells are AT-WILL.
johnhansen 04-26-07, 01:21 AM	50: Never try to create a world with cultures, races and characters worthy of a great novel with the players characters part of that world striving for legendary wealth and power. Just let the players characters be anything from any book ever published and make your world look like the bar in star wars.
AffableDoomwalker 04-27-07, 12:33 AM	51: Always, always, always make references to the Dead Alewives' skit. It never gets old.
RellenMarn 04-27-07, 03:54 AM	Having a High Priest of Nerull in the group with a Paladin of Pelor isn't just a good idea, it would make a great sitcom. I would watch that.
daggeroflath 04-27-07, 11:41 AM	51) Throw a problem at the PCs constantly like poisons, disease, big canyons or enemy spells. As soon as they develop a way around one of those problems, never have it in the game again. Introduce a new one.
Pegasos989 04-27-07, 02:01 PM	40. Never make it a point to know, or at least have a general idea concerning what your Players' characters are capable of, and be sure to take their word when they tell you "Don't worry, I made the save." They wouldn't lie to you. 41. Never ever ask for character concepts, or discuss character creation, and remember, these are your Players' characters here, not yours, so be sure to let them choose whatever races, templates, feats, classes, and PrCs they want to, even from 3rd-party sources, and books nobody in the group actually owns (PDF files are a perfectly acceptable substitute). I actually somewhat stand behind these advice. I generally check the pcs' stats well because it is kinda of my duty to make sure they won't have made mistakes, miscalculations and such and also knowing about them let's me make sure they are more balanced with each other and such. However, I think that you should not choose to check it because of the fear of lying - in case you can't trust your friends enough to not to cheat to get imaginary treasure, there is something wrong. And even if they do that, if they have more fun that way and others won't find out and thus others won't have less fun, why not to allow it? I also don't discuss character concepts beforehand. If they are going to make a undead hording cleric or were-cow, I think it is their job to ask others beforehand "does this fit in?" and if they won't, I can deny it. I see no reason to ask everyone's concept beforehand. :/
Eled_the_Worm_Tamer 04-27-07, 04:53 PM	52: Asume all players are lying dulicitus munchin powergamers whose only desire is to better pun-pun. Any time any player wants to be anything but the moast steriotypical of archtype charicter roll or to use any book but the PHB he is atempting to bring unbalaning forces to your game that will drestroy your beuatifuly constructed world and should be banned, his charicter sheet torn up and the chair he sat on burned to remove the evil. 53: As 52 but for anyone who dares contemplate his chariter build so much as a level in advance. 54: Never listen to your players, as soon as you do they will imedaetey sence weakness and use it to abuse your trust and recreate pun-pun.
Hakar_Kerarmor 04-28-07, 12:37 AM	55: Insist that the characters roll Knowledge checks all the time, for everything they want to do. No matter how trivial or obvious it is, or if the character experienced it before. Serves them right for putting all their skill-points in Swim and Sense Motive. 56: Whenever a character is about to do something that negates a monsters damage reduction, or exploits its weakness, accuse the played of metagaming. Every time. Even if the dwarf fighter always uses a warhammer, has (greater)weapon focus/specialisation/etc, the moment he uses it on a skeleton, accuse him of metagaming. A wizard always uses fire spells as much as possible? No problem, right up to the point he fights a white dragon. 57: Female players are rare and precious, and you should acknowledge this by giving them all the good treasure, have monsters attack them as little as possible, and generally favouring them over the other players. After all, they have boobies.