Post/Author/DateTime	Post
tsuyoshikentsu 08-18-06, 06:20 PM	Inspired by Mahavira's post. I'll start. 1) Royalty tastes better. 2) The dragon THINKS royalty tastes better. 3) The draogn believes that the kingdom should be his, and won't give her back until the king abdicates in his favor. 4) The dragon has been hired by the evil vizier so that said vizier can rescue the daughter himself and so win her for himself. (Look, two or three cliches in one!) Anyone else? (Consolidated by jagggar -- thanks, man!) 1001? Reasons a Dragon Would Kidnap A Princess Royalty tastes better. The dragon THINKS royalty tastes better. The draogn believes that the kingdom should be his, and won't give her back until the king abdicates in his favor. The dragon has been hired by the evil vizier so that said vizier can rescue the daughter himself and so win her for himself. (Look, two or three cliches in one!) To amuse himself - dragons get bored too Heroes have the best loot. Heroes like rescuing princesses. Kidnap princess and loot the corpses of the heroes who come to rescue her (for the dragon who prefers magic items to gold (also a super dangerous dragon because it USES them)) The princess is the chosen champion to defeat some great evil and the king won't let the Gold Dragon give her the training she needs to prevail. Little girls collect barbies, dragons just work on a larger scale She has the stolen plans for his Death Star. The Dragon wants to have some half-dragon babies and is wooing the princess... The dragon didn't kidnap the princess. The evil princess kidnapped the good dragon. It has to protect her from her daddy, who won't ever let her out of her castle. All the cool dragons are doing it! This way, it can polymorph itself into the princess, replace her, wait for the old man to kick the bucket and add all the taxes to ye olde dragonne hoarde. The dragon wants the treasure horde to come to it (ransom, adventureres, etc.) Secret deal with the kingdom (handsome hero shows up and saves the princess, princess gets married, dragon gets paid matchmaker fee) If he kept taking the princes the rest of the men would just make better time. In most cases the princess is unmarried and he just couldn't bare to leave a child without its mother. The Princess is ugly and the only way she can get a date is to hire a dragon to get rescued from. Hostage to stop the king mustering an army as the dragon ravages the countryside. Princesses are schooled in ettiquette, discourse and good comnversation - therefore, they are good company that is not threatening to the dragon. The king ran out of gold to pay off the dragon. "Well, my dad kidnaped princess, his dad kidnaped princess, and his dad befor him...its kinda a family tradition." ~Sharpwing the Fourth. It is simply the status quo among draconic society, and all dragons who come of age must kidnap a princess to prove their worth. how else is the dragon supposed to keep up on royal gossip? princesses smell better than any other "adventurer bait." needs someone to help him floss the chain mail out of his teeth, and princesses have a gentle touch. He needs help picking out a good dress for the prom his old butler died, and he wants a replacement that's better on the eyes. A conversation peice chained to the enormous coffe table. Wants revenge against a certain moustachioed plumber who wears red clothing... The look on said plumber's face when he finds out that the princess is in another castle. He wants to re-enact all of those stories he heard of the knight saving the princess from the dragon. Only rework it so he wins and the woman falls in love with him. The princess possesses the Mark of Death (a dragonmark which belonged to House Vol, which was exterminated by an alliance of elves and dragons). The dragon wants to sacrifice her to summon Dread Cthulhu, I mean, Keith Baker. The king paid the dragon to take the whiney, nasty princess away to teach her that she really doesn't have life all that bad. What King doesn't have a younger daughter held by a dragon? Its good politics and easier then marrying them off. Enforced apprenticeship for the sorcerer princess. .... because he has 50 gallons of barbeque sauce left over from last knight Alternate Form. The dragon was good friends with the princess' ancestor who looked just like her when it was a wyrmling and the ancestor was a kid, and it didn't know humans had such a short lifespan. It was framed! "Oh yeah, sure, just because I'm a giant red you think I did it, and not that pesky golden bastard west of here. Frikkin' racists." Well, the final exam of ninja school was abducting a member of the royal family (gives a whole new meaning to the words "dragon ninja"). Its not kidnapping, its reposession. Needed a White Queen for his human sized chestset. He have a prophetic vision that a witch was going to poison her with an apple. It was actually just a big mis-understanding. To be a pimping dragon To Collect them all!! I mean. No dragon is complete without having all the princesses in his/her colection To get to the prince in a jeuloes fit. (The she-dragon might be a *****y type ) Sex. What? You were all thinking it. Don't deny it, I just have the moxy to say what other's think. Yea, that's it, moxy. All the other guy dragon's that are Glitterwing's age catagory are too immature and kiss like their eatting a cheese sandwich. So she's done with men, err dragons, err dragon men? How many other dragons can truthfully state their horde contains royal blood that's NOT stained all over his precious golden coins. Most of them actually, princess snatchings have been on the rise since 1978 and show no sign of decreasing. Imagine the pride in being able to state that your back scratcher isn't wood or even ivory, but the youngest daughter of King X from the Kingdom of Y. Fairly prestigous. because all the cool dragons are doing it pact with the cliche gods to prove a point to his underlings on why kidnapping is a bad idea. to see if they are really "blue blooded" because it was her or the king and she is more fun to look at. he could just take a pesent but he wanted to make a statment she was greedy, arogent, and scared the heck out of those she ruled over. Hence he deduced she was a dragon inprisined in a human boddy, and wants to lend a hand. someone has to teach him to dance. the same reason peaple keep hamsters as pets. the lare needed a woman's touch the hachlings need a nany she would be the perfict minuture to be his level 4 wizard in tonights game of humans & houses the princess made him an offer he could'nt refuse they play cards on fridays his old one ran away because the entire royal family are a groupe of dragons how have spent the last 1000 years taking turns kidnapping one another, and ruleing the land. princess, I never kidna..... hold on there is something stuck on the bottom of my foot.... oh.. I have good news and bad news The dragon feels so lonely that he needs the attention of tiny little humans who stopped trying to raid his lair since he was 400! Hence the kidnapping ("...finally I can chat with a female! Y'know, my mate and I got separated as soon as I became mature adult; such is the dragon's way. Sigh"). She wasn't kidnapped. Her ancestor promised the dragon that his great-great-great-granddaughter would marry said dragon in exchange for power and he just came to collect. Dragon wants her to cook for him. Her rescuers are on the menu and she has developed a taste for humanoid flesh. Dragon wants her to help him bathe. Apparently, only certain princesses and dragons know about cleanliness being close to godliness. Dragon and his mate want to experience human female love . Dragon is having an affair behind his mate's back. The royal women have been seeing the dragon for generations. (say slowly, not too slowly, and with emphisis on each word) Becuase He Can It isn't like he has a real job. It is easier than dating. The princess was in disguise as a commoner so she could go about the city streets, and the dragon was looking for a maid. Man, was he ticked. The Dragon actually rescued the princess from a band of evil adventurers, the whole thing is just a big misunderstanding! she has a high appreaise check and a better understanding of the current economic climate. the cleric/accountants of tiamat still run on 2e rules of how much a horde must be worth to gain great wyrm status. and the wyrms get all the hot babes He picked up the wrong package in his rush to get out of the castle with some cool loot. Honestly, he's been trying to get her to leave for weeks now, but he doesn't want to make her cry and she won't take a frickin' hint.... Unicorn bait. (Mmmmm... unicorn....) he needs her for a dastderdly plot. Because its tradition. Smack ya wich ya own pimp! The dragon wants some half-dragons, and gave up on wooing her. Or just figured he'd skip that step entirely. It's all about politics. (using Japan, Korea, and Manchuria as "example" countries) The princess of Japan is set to be married to the prince of Korea, which will lead to an alliance, ending the Japanese-Korean wars. With Japan and Korea as allies, they'll attack Manchuria, and the Queen of Manchuria is actually the dragon's loyal thrall. By kidnapping the princess, and insinuating to the Koreans that the Japanese set it up and insinuating to the Japanese than the Koreans set it up, he could plunge Japan and Korea back into war, and keep Manchuria safe as his power base. For Blackmail! "Give me 10 Million GP, and you get your daughter back" It didn't, the Dragon ruled the area and a neighboring ruler decided to sic the adventurerers on the ruler of the kingdom next door 10 millon gp, who does the dragon think he kidnapped, Chelsy Clinton?! To listen to her sing He'd just set up a dance pole in his den it is a way dragons attack each other , one dragon captures the princess and makes it look like another dragon did it, then he hopes that some adventurers can finish the job for him. To lure Mario It's a laugh, innit. (with apologies to Red Dwarf) to end the Legend of Zelda series once and for all Becasue its his brother's birthday, and He completly forgot. Because the "princess" is a gold dragon herself, kidnapped in the egg by humans, and Mummy just wants her little girl back. "Kidnap? Don't you know an elopement when you see it?" It's not that princesses taste better, it's just that, like the rest of us, dragons get fooled by the fancy packaging. Maybe he just wanted her bust in his collection. Seriously. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bust_%28sculpture%29 To brainwash her, ransom her back to the kingdom, and thereafter have her funnel the treasury into the dragon's hoard. honestly because the princess is probally one of the healthyest people around, and sick peaple don't sound like a great meal to me, also because she has probally never worked a day in her life and she is still young so the meat won't be all tough and stringy. In the end the princess is just a peice of chois meat, and dragons don't eat second rate meat. other then that we.... I mean they eat them because they want to instil fear in the commoners, they don't want the commoners to join togather into a giant dragon killing mob, so they scare the heck out of the locals with thoughts like "If the king can't protect his own family how can he protect us from the dragon, better to just try to live our lives then risk makeing it angry with an attack that might fail" To protect her from the war that his old friend, the king, refuses to believe is coming. To teach her a lesson in humility, mortality and responsibility (or fear, depending on his taste in color). To help her little sister win the hand of the charming prince, the queen's tiara, or a chance to prove herself. It's all a test to see how the royalty reacts, so it can judge weather or not to instigate a coup d'etat. To prevent a coup the dragon believes to already be in progress. Because she's not really the princess, and he needs to find out where the imposter has her squreled away so he can get his hands on the real princess (pick any motivation you want for why he wants the real princess). Because the princess has some special skill (or spell or knowledge) that the dragon desperately needs for some reason. To seal the deal with a balor, picking up some nice tanar'ri minions. (They do so love that kind of chaos). To draw the best and bravest knights away from the castle so it can destroy the castle and fly off a much richer dragon. To get some good, old fashioned vengence. Just another posession in the trove, you know, a princess for owning. (Say it really fast. "Princess f'owning--") To annoy a slightly fat, italian plumber and a kingdom made up entirely of humanoid mushroom people. The princess was a dragon all along, and just became very bored so she staged everything for more money to the hoarde. Because it is required under section 19, subsection 7, clause 2 of the agreement between the fairytale tellers, the princes in shining armour, the dragons and the pricesses if you have to ask you clearly have never kidnaped a princess before. "What's wrong with that? Aren't you here to kidnap my princess back?" He is a modern dragon, and want to start a business around this plan: 1) Kidnap Princess 2) ... 3) Make money! The silver dragon kidnapped the tribe's princess, because the tribe was gonna sacrifice her to Talos the CE Stormlord and make sure HE will spare the area. Now the silver dragon will let the princess go with the heroes who "saved" her, and make sure these heroes will escort her back to her tribe, so the heroes will get rid of the cult of Talos... Somebody suggested something like that, just going farther: the dragon kidnapped, killed and ate the true princess since long. The one the heroes are seeing there is a doppleganger. The whole thing is a conspiracy to infiltrate the royal family, and if the "princess" looks odd, it's just a long-term traumatism from her kidnapping... Because he lost his magic pea in a series of mattress down beds and needs to find out which one has it. Because she bungled her wish with the Fairy Godmother. She just needs to meet the stupid witch again to clarify what she actually wished for. Because her Dragon husband won't listen to her all day. Because he's an insomniac and wants to acquire the spinning wheel that puts people to sleep. His name is really Rumplestiltskin and his spell for acquiring the princess's first born mistargetted. She was actually just passing through. Tagging along was the princess' idea from the beginning. He isn't really a Dragon. He's just a Knight suitor under the guise of Polymorph. Now he and his beloved can live happily ever after. He's a stupid white. His Red Dragon master actually wanted him to kidnap all the "princes" of the realm so that the succession can be destroyed. Princesses have more fat content than anyone else in the kingdom... ...perfect for making paella. He needed the glass slippers. Because princesses are more filling. To get to the other side. The princess is getting old and needs to be married off. He realizes that he's too busy to get along without a personal assistant. There's an annoying Knight living in his cupboard and he's had enough of the half-eaten cheeses. It's a tax write-off. ...Because a Princess ransom is a lot cheaper than a Princess wedding... She was on holiday on a remote island and she was captured by the local tribe, and offered to the dragon as a sacrifice. The dragon snatched the princess and took her back to his lair. Where she amused him with her dancing and juggling. The dragon was then captured and taken back to the kingdom and shown off at a circus. This enraged the dragon who escaped and ran rampage through the capital. He found the princess and flew to the tallest tower, where he was shot to his death. he has a BO problem and as princesses smell nice, he thought to rub her across his pits he needed some knight-bait she has been eliminating anyone the mirrors says is fairer than her to start a war with israel (i apologise for the bad taste) just to have someone scratch that spot between the shoulder blades she stole the princess while high and now has to lay low until it all blows over to hang from the rearvision mirror in his colossal subra think of the princesses' point of view, makes a change from being abducted by a perv. Shes gonna marry him divorce him and take half the horde.
Malek 08-18-06, 06:25 PM	5)To amuse himself - dragons get bored too :D
mahavira 08-18-06, 06:36 PM	6) Heroes have the best loot. Heroes like rescuing princesses. Kidnap princess and loot the corpses of the heroes who come to rescue her (for the dragon who prefers magic items to gold (also a super dangerous dragon because it USES them)) 7) The princess is the chosen champion to defeat some great evil and the king won't let the Gold Dragon give her the training she needs to prevail. 8) Little girls collect barbies, dragons just work on a larger scale
revnk 08-18-06, 06:38 PM	9) She has the stolen plans for his Death Star. Hang on... I may have wandered into the wrong forum....
whoarewelivingfor 08-18-06, 06:40 PM	10) The Dragon wants to have some half-dragon babies and is wooing the princess...
Archmage_Vall 08-18-06, 07:05 PM	11. The dragon didn't kidnap the princess. The evil princess kidnapped the good dragon.
NinjaE 08-18-06, 07:20 PM	12: It has to protect her from her daddy, who won't ever let her out of her castle. 13: All the cool dragons are doing it! 14: This way, it can polymorph itself into the princess, replace her, wait for the old man to kick the bucket and add all the taxes to ye olde dragonne hoarde.
Archangel62 08-18-06, 07:23 PM	15) The dragon wants the treasure horde to come to it (ransom, adventureres, etc.) 16) Secret deal with the kingdom (handsome hero shows up and saves the princess, princess gets married, dragon gets paid matchmaker fee) 17) If he kept taking the princes the rest of the men would just make better time. 18) In most cases the princess is unmarried and he just couldn't bare to leave a child without its mother.
taski 08-18-06, 07:50 PM	19) The Princess is ugly and the only way she can get a date is to hire a dragon to get rescued from.
kelvinaw273 08-18-06, 08:36 PM	20) Hostage to stop the king mustering an army as the dragon ravages the countryside. 21) Princesses are schooled in ettiquette, discourse and good comnversation - therefore, they are good company that is not threatening to the dragon. 22) The king ran out of gold to pay off the dragon.
Lindan 08-18-06, 08:50 PM	23) "Well, my dad kidnaped princess, his dad kidnaped princess, and his dad befor him...its kinda a family tradition." ~Sharpwing the Fourth.
Aterum 08-18-06, 09:00 PM	14: This way, it can polymorph itself into the princess, replace her, wait for the old man to kick the bucket and add all the taxes to ye olde dragonne hoarde. I really like this idea. I like it so much, I just stole it.
Gwenfloor 08-18-06, 09:04 PM	24) It is simply the status quo among draconic society, and all dragons who come of age must kidnap a princess to prove their worth.
Crystal Monk 08-18-06, 10:18 PM	25: how else is the dragon supposed to keep up on royal gossip? 26: princesses smell better than any other "adventurer bait." 27: needs someone to help him floss the chain mail out of his teeth, and princesses have a gentle touch.
Piggyfreak6 08-18-06, 10:38 PM	28) He needs help picking out a good dress for the prom
stargate525 08-18-06, 11:42 PM	29) his old butler died, and he wants a replacement that's better on the eyes. 30) A conversation peice chained to the enormous coffe table.
narukagami 08-18-06, 11:51 PM	31) Wants revenge against a certain moustachioed plumber who wears red clothing...
OctoberRaven 08-19-06, 12:23 AM	32) The look on said plumber's face when he finds out that the princess is in another castle.
Drodain 08-19-06, 12:35 AM	33.) He wants to re-enact all of those stories he heard of the knight saving the princess from the dragon. Only rework it so he wins and the woman falls in love with him.
Joseph_Silver 08-19-06, 12:52 AM	32. The princess possesses the Mark of Death (a dragonmark which belonged to House Vol, which was exterminated by an alliance of elves and dragons). 33. The dragon wants to sacrifice her to summon Dread Cthulhu, I mean, Keith Baker.
jagggar 08-19-06, 01:10 AM	36. The king paid the dragon to take the whiney, nasty princess away to teach her that she really doesn't have life all that bad. (The dragon now cries himself to sleep wondering how much longer until the adventurers come to put him out of his misery. . .)
tj333 08-19-06, 01:17 AM	The Enchanted Forest series of books was about the princesses that had been captured by dragons. Some of the princesses even ran away to be captured and most were happy there. It was a very entertaining series. See #21. 37.) What King doesn't have a younger daughter held by a dragon? Its good politics and easier then marrying them off. 38.) Enforced apprenticeship for the sorcerer princess.
MistWolf 08-19-06, 01:27 AM	.... because he has 50 gallons of barbeque sauce left over from last knight
Tenzhi 08-19-06, 01:35 AM	Alternate Form.
NinjaE 08-19-06, 05:15 AM	I really like this idea. I like it so much, I just stole it. Yays! 40: The dragon was good friends with the princess' ancestor who looked just like her when it was a wyrmling and the ancestor was a kid, and it didn't know humans had such a short lifespan. 41: It was framed! "Oh yeah, sure, just because I'm a giant red you think I did it, and not that pesky golden bastard west of here. Frikkin' racists." 42: Well, the final exam of ninja school was abducting a member of the royal family (gives a whole new meaning to the words "dragon ninja").
ElIsRa 08-19-06, 05:45 AM	43: Its not kidnapping, its reposession. 44: Needed a White Queen for his human sized chestset. 45: He have a prophetic vision that a witch was going to poison her with an apple. 46: It was actually just a big mis-understanding.
Tenzhi 08-19-06, 06:50 AM	44: Needed a White Queen for his human sized chestset. Hehehehe. A White Queen for his human-sized "chest" set. Freudian slip?
Bionickal 08-19-06, 07:10 AM	46) To be a pimping dragon ;) 47) To Collect them all!! I mean. No dragon is complete without having all the princesses in his/her colection 48) To get to the prince in a jeuloes fit. (The she-dragon might be a *****y type :D)
WhiteRaven810 08-19-06, 07:20 AM	49: Sex. What? You were all thinking it. Don't deny it, I just have the moxy to say what other's think. Yea, that's it, moxy. 50. All the other guy dragon's that are Glitterwing's age catagory are too immature and kiss like their eatting a cheese sandwich. So she's done with men, err dragons, err dragon men? 51. How many other dragons can truthfully state their horde contains royal blood that's NOT stained all over his precious golden coins. Most of them actually, princess snatchings have been on the rise since 1978 and show no sign of decreasing. 52. Imagine the pride in being able to state that your back scratcher isn't wood or even ivory, but the youngest daughter of King X from the Kingdom of Y. Fairly prestigous.
DarkThoughts24 08-19-06, 07:37 AM	53-because all the cool dragons are doing it 54-pact with the cliche gods 55-to prove a point to his underlings on why kidnapping is a bad idea. 56-to see if they are really "blue blooded"
Whisper_Swiftblade 08-19-06, 08:16 AM	57) because it was her or the king and she is more fun to look at. 58) he could just take a pesent but he wanted to make a statment 59) she was greedy, arogent, and scared the heck out of those she ruled over. Hence he deduced she was a dragon inprisined in a human boddy, and wants to lend a hand. 60) someone has to teach him to dance. 61) the same reason peaple keep hamsters as pets. 62) the lare needed a woman's touch 63) the hachlings need a nany 64) she would be the perfict minuture to be his level 4 wizard in tonights game of humans & houses 65) the princess made him an offer he could'nt refuse 67) they play cards on fridays 68) his old one ran away :weep: 69) because the entire royal family are a groupe of dragons how have spent the last 1000 years taking turns kidnapping one another, and ruleing the land. 70) princess, I never kidna..... hold on there is something stuck on the bottom of my foot.... oh.. I have good news and bad news
Vol 08-19-06, 08:20 AM	57 The dragon feels so lonely that he needs the attention of tiny little humans who stopped trying to raid his lair since he was 400! Hence the kidnapping ("...finally I can chat with a female! Y'know, my mate and I got separated as soon as I became mature adult; such is the dragon's way. Sigh").
Kraleck 08-19-06, 08:55 AM	72. She wasn't kidnapped. Her ancestor promised the dragon that his great-great-great-granddaughter would marry said dragon in exchange for power and he just came to collect. 73. Dragon wants her to cook for him. Her rescuers are on the menu and she has developed a taste for humanoid flesh. 74. Dragon wants her to help him bathe. Apparently, only certain princesses and dragons know about cleanliness being close to godliness. 75. Dragon and his mate want to experience human female love :eek: . 76. Dragon is having an affair behind his mate's back. The royal women have been seeing the dragon for generations.
R99 08-19-06, 09:54 AM	77: (say slowly, not too slowly, and with emphisis on each word) Becuase He Can)
Arco Versipellis 08-19-06, 11:20 AM	78. It isn't like he has a real job. 79. It is easier than dating. 80. The princess was in disguise as a commoner so she could go about the city streets, and the dragon was looking for a maid. Man, was he ticked.
Sergikins 08-19-06, 12:18 PM	80. The princess was in disguise as a commoner... http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y288/tipomastr/Trap2.jpg BTW, epic thread so far. I was going to start a thread about how there was a lack of quality threads after uranium sword got closed, but whatever. this slaked my thirst
narukagami 08-19-06, 01:17 PM	42: Well, the final exam of ninja school was abducting a member of the royal family (gives a whole new meaning to the words "dragon ninja"). The princess has been kidnapped by ninjas, are you a bad enough dude to rescue the princess? 81. The Dragon actually rescued the princess from a band of evil adventurers, the whole thing is just a big misunderstanding!
DarkThoughts24 08-19-06, 02:01 PM	82)she has a high appreaise check and a better understanding of the current economic climate. the cleric/accountants of tiamat still run on 2e rules of how much a horde must be worth to gain great wyrm status. and the wyrms get all the hot babes
revnk 08-19-06, 02:08 PM	83) He picked up the wrong package in his rush to get out of the castle with some cool loot. 84) Honestly, he's been trying to get her to leave for weeks now, but he doesn't want to make her cry and she won't take a frickin' hint.... 85) Unicorn bait. (Mmmmm... unicorn....)
chimp man 08-19-06, 02:20 PM	86. he needs her for a dastderdly plot. (cliche i know)
Radijs 08-19-06, 02:25 PM	#87: Because its tradition.
Zombayz1 08-19-06, 03:29 PM	88. Smack ya wich ya own pimp!
green_yawgmoth 08-19-06, 05:15 PM	10) The Dragon wants to have some half-dragon babies and is wooing the princess...89. The dragon wants some half-dragons, and gave up on wooing her. Or just figured he'd skip that step entirely. ;) http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
JulesCARV 08-19-06, 05:37 PM	90. It's all about politics. (using Japan, Korea, and Manchuria as "example" countries) The princess of Japan is set to be married to the prince of Korea, which will lead to an alliance, ending the Japanese-Korean wars. With Japan and Korea as allies, they'll attack Manchuria, and the Queen of Manchuria is actually the dragon's loyal thrall. By kidnapping the princess, and insinuating to the Koreans that the Japanese set it up and insinuating to the Japanese than the Koreans set it up, he could plunge Japan and Korea back into war, and keep Manchuria safe as his power base.
Slightly_Unscrewed 08-19-06, 09:02 PM	91: For Blackmail! "Give me 10 Million GP, and you get your daughter back" Honestly, I can't belive nobody said that...
Darth Sephiroth 08-19-06, 09:04 PM	It didn't, the Dragon ruled the area and a neighboring ruler decided to sic the adventurerers on the ruler of the kingdom next door
Wopple 08-19-06, 09:12 PM	91: For Blackmail! "Give me 10 Million GP, and you get your daughter back" Honestly, I can't belive nobody said that... 93. 10 millon gp, who does the dragon think he kidnapped, Chelsy Clinton?!
MistWolf 08-19-06, 09:24 PM	94) To listen to her sing 95) He'd just set up a dance pole in his den
Whisper_Swiftblade 08-19-06, 11:16 PM	96) it is a way dragons attack each other , one dragon captures the princess and makes it look like another dragon did it, then he hopes that some adventurers can finish the job for him.
boozerker 08-20-06, 01:50 AM	97) To lure Mario
aotrscommander 08-20-06, 08:49 AM	98) It's a laugh, innit. (with apologies to Red Dwarf)
metamind 08-20-06, 11:39 AM	99: to end the Legend of Zelda series once and for all :evillaugh 100: Becasue its his brother's birthday, and He completly forgot.
Rotipher 08-20-06, 12:14 PM	101) Because the "princess" is a gold dragon herself, kidnapped in the egg by humans, and Mummy just wants her little girl back.
MarkB 08-20-06, 12:44 PM	Well, darn. We're all out of numbers. Um... 101a.) "Kidnap? Don't you know an elopement when you see it?" 101b.) It's not that princesses taste better, it's just that, like the rest of us, dragons get fooled by the fancy packaging.
Escef 08-20-06, 03:39 PM	Hehehehe. A White Queen for his human-sized "chest" set. Freudian slip? Maybe he just wanted her bust in his collection. Seriously. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bust_%28sculpture%29
speeblefreak 08-20-06, 05:22 PM	To brainwash her, ransom her back to the kingdom, and thereafter have her funnel the treasury into the dragon's hoard.
Whisper_Swiftblade 08-20-06, 07:39 PM	honestly because the princess is probally one of the healthyest people around, and sick peaple don't sound like a great meal to me, also because she has probally never worked a day in her life and she is still young so the meat won't be all tough and stringy. In the end the princess is just a peice of chois meat, and dragons don't eat second rate meat. other then that we.... I mean they eat them because they want to instil fear in the commoners, they don't want the commoners to join togather into a giant dragon killing mob, so they scare the heck out of the locals with thoughts like "If the king can't protect his own family how can he protect us from the dragon, better to just try to live our lives then risk makeing it angry with an attack that might fail"
Ace the Dead 08-20-06, 08:11 PM	106) To protect her from the war that his old friend, the king, refuses to believe is coming. 107) To teach her a lesson in humility, mortality and responsibility (or fear, depending on his taste in color). 108) To help her little sister win the hand of the charming prince, the queen's tiara, or a chance to prove herself. 109) It's all a test to see how the royalty reacts, so it can judge weather or not to instigate a coup d'etat. 110) To prevent a coup the dragon believes to already be in progress. 111) Because she's not really the princess, and he needs to find out where the imposter has her squreled away so he can get his hands on the real princess (pick any motivation you want for why he wants the real princess). 112) Because the princess has some special skill (or spell or knowledge) that the dragon desperately needs for some reason. 113) To seal the deal with a balor, picking up some nice tanar'ri minions. (They do so love that kind of chaos). 114) To draw the best and bravest knights away from the castle so it can destroy the castle and fly off a much richer dragon. 115) To get some good, old fashioned vengence.
tsuyoshikentsu 08-21-06, 03:54 AM	Whoo. Not only did we get PAST 100 in something like two days, we've generated some of the best plot hooks I've seen in a long time. Now... can we get to 1,000? :D
jagggar 08-24-06, 06:07 PM	YES!!! We can make it!!! Don't let this die!!! I made the first 101 kinda pretty in a numbered list. (The First) 101 Reasons a Dragon Would Kidnap A Princess Consolidated from posts 1 to 52 for your viewing pleasure. Royalty tastes better. The dragon THINKS royalty tastes better. The draogn believes that the kingdom should be his, and won't give her back until the king abdicates in his favor. The dragon has been hired by the evil vizier so that said vizier can rescue the daughter himself and so win her for himself. (Look, two or three cliches in one!) To amuse himself - dragons get bored too Heroes have the best loot. Heroes like rescuing princesses. Kidnap princess and loot the corpses of the heroes who come to rescue her (for the dragon who prefers magic items to gold (also a super dangerous dragon because it USES them)) The princess is the chosen champion to defeat some great evil and the king won't let the Gold Dragon give her the training she needs to prevail. Little girls collect barbies, dragons just work on a larger scale She has the stolen plans for his Death Star. The Dragon wants to have some half-dragon babies and is wooing the princess... The dragon didn't kidnap the princess. The evil princess kidnapped the good dragon. It has to protect her from her daddy, who won't ever let her out of her castle. All the cool dragons are doing it! This way, it can polymorph itself into the princess, replace her, wait for the old man to kick the bucket and add all the taxes to ye olde dragonne hoarde. The dragon wants the treasure horde to come to it (ransom, adventureres, etc.) Secret deal with the kingdom (handsome hero shows up and saves the princess, princess gets married, dragon gets paid matchmaker fee) If he kept taking the princes the rest of the men would just make better time. In most cases the princess is unmarried and he just couldn't bare to leave a child without its mother. The Princess is ugly and the only way she can get a date is to hire a dragon to get rescued from. Hostage to stop the king mustering an army as the dragon ravages the countryside. Princesses are schooled in ettiquette, discourse and good comnversation - therefore, they are good company that is not threatening to the dragon. The king ran out of gold to pay off the dragon. "Well, my dad kidnaped princess, his dad kidnaped princess, and his dad befor him...its kinda a family tradition." ~Sharpwing the Fourth. It is simply the status quo among draconic society, and all dragons who come of age must kidnap a princess to prove their worth. how else is the dragon supposed to keep up on royal gossip? princesses smell better than any other "adventurer bait." needs someone to help him floss the chain mail out of his teeth, and princesses have a gentle touch. He needs help picking out a good dress for the prom his old butler died, and he wants a replacement that's better on the eyes. A conversation peice chained to the enormous coffe table. Wants revenge against a certain moustachioed plumber who wears red clothing... The look on said plumber's face when he finds out that the princess is in another castle. He wants to re-enact all of those stories he heard of the knight saving the princess from the dragon. Only rework it so he wins and the woman falls in love with him. The princess possesses the Mark of Death (a dragonmark which belonged to House Vol, which was exterminated by an alliance of elves and dragons). The dragon wants to sacrifice her to summon Dread Cthulhu, I mean, Keith Baker. The king paid the dragon to take the whiney, nasty princess away to teach her that she really doesn't have life all that bad. What King doesn't have a younger daughter held by a dragon? Its good politics and easier then marrying them off. Enforced apprenticeship for the sorcerer princess. .... because he has 50 gallons of barbeque sauce left over from last knight Alternate Form. The dragon was good friends with the princess' ancestor who looked just like her when it was a wyrmling and the ancestor was a kid, and it didn't know humans had such a short lifespan. It was framed! "Oh yeah, sure, just because I'm a giant red you think I did it, and not that pesky golden bastard west of here. Frikkin' racists." Well, the final exam of ninja school was abducting a member of the royal family (gives a whole new meaning to the words "dragon ninja"). Its not kidnapping, its reposession. Needed a White Queen for his human sized chestset. He have a prophetic vision that a witch was going to poison her with an apple. It was actually just a big mis-understanding. To be a pimping dragon To Collect them all!! I mean. No dragon is complete without having all the princesses in his/her colection To get to the prince in a jeuloes fit. (The she-dragon might be a *****y type ) Sex. What? You were all thinking it. Don't deny it, I just have the moxy to say what other's think. Yea, that's it, moxy. All the other guy dragon's that are Glitterwing's age catagory are too immature and kiss like their eatting a cheese sandwich. So she's done with men, err dragons, err dragon men? How many other dragons can truthfully state their horde contains royal blood that's NOT stained all over his precious golden coins. Most of them actually, princess snatchings have been on the rise since 1978 and show no sign of decreasing. Imagine the pride in being able to state that your back scratcher isn't wood or even ivory, but the youngest daughter of King X from the Kingdom of Y. Fairly prestigous. because all the cool dragons are doing it pact with the cliche gods to prove a point to his underlings on why kidnapping is a bad idea. to see if they are really "blue blooded" because it was her or the king and she is more fun to look at. he could just take a pesent but he wanted to make a statment she was greedy, arogent, and scared the heck out of those she ruled over. Hence he deduced she was a dragon inprisined in a human boddy, and wants to lend a hand. someone has to teach him to dance. the same reason peaple keep hamsters as pets. the lare needed a woman's touch the hachlings need a nany she would be the perfict minuture to be his level 4 wizard in tonights game of humans & houses the princess made him an offer he could'nt refuse they play cards on fridays his old one ran away because the entire royal family are a groupe of dragons how have spent the last 1000 years taking turns kidnapping one another, and ruleing the land. princess, I never kidna..... hold on there is something stuck on the bottom of my foot.... oh.. I have good news and bad news The dragon feels so lonely that he needs the attention of tiny little humans who stopped trying to raid his lair since he was 400! Hence the kidnapping ("...finally I can chat with a female! Y'know, my mate and I got separated as soon as I became mature adult; such is the dragon's way. Sigh"). She wasn't kidnapped. Her ancestor promised the dragon that his great-great-great-granddaughter would marry said dragon in exchange for power and he just came to collect. Dragon wants her to cook for him. Her rescuers are on the menu and she has developed a taste for humanoid flesh. Dragon wants her to help him bathe. Apparently, only certain princesses and dragons know about cleanliness being close to godliness. Dragon and his mate want to experience human female love . Dragon is having an affair behind his mate's back. The royal women have been seeing the dragon for generations. (say slowly, not too slowly, and with emphisis on each word) Becuase He Can It isn't like he has a real job. It is easier than dating. The princess was in disguise as a commoner so she could go about the city streets, and the dragon was looking for a maid. Man, was he ticked. The Dragon actually rescued the princess from a band of evil adventurers, the whole thing is just a big misunderstanding! she has a high appreaise check and a better understanding of the current economic climate. the cleric/accountants of tiamat still run on 2e rules of how much a horde must be worth to gain great wyrm status. and the wyrms get all the hot babes He picked up the wrong package in his rush to get out of the castle with some cool loot. Honestly, he's been trying to get her to leave for weeks now, but he doesn't want to make her cry and she won't take a frickin' hint.... Unicorn bait. (Mmmmm... unicorn....) he needs her for a dastderdly plot. Because its tradition. Smack ya wich ya own pimp! The dragon wants some half-dragons, and gave up on wooing her. Or just figured he'd skip that step entirely. It's all about politics. (using Japan, Korea, and Manchuria as "example" countries) The princess of Japan is set to be married to the prince of Korea, which will lead to an alliance, ending the Japanese-Korean wars. With Japan and Korea as allies, they'll attack Manchuria, and the Queen of Manchuria is actually the dragon's loyal thrall. By kidnapping the princess, and insinuating to the Koreans that the Japanese set it up and insinuating to the Japanese than the Koreans set it up, he could plunge Japan and Korea back into war, and keep Manchuria safe as his power base. For Blackmail! "Give me 10 Million GP, and you get your daughter back" It didn't, the Dragon ruled the area and a neighboring ruler decided to sic the adventurerers on the ruler of the kingdom next door 10 millon gp, who does the dragon think he kidnapped, Chelsy Clinton?! To listen to her sing He'd just set up a dance pole in his den it is a way dragons attack each other , one dragon captures the princess and makes it look like another dragon did it, then he hopes that some adventurers can finish the job for him. To lure Mario It's a laugh, innit. (with apologies to Red Dwarf) to end the Legend of Zelda series once and for all Becasue its his brother's birthday, and He completly forgot. I've also started work on the 102-202 list. This includes the ideas from the old boards. (The Second) 101 Reasons a Dragon Would Kidnap A Princess Consolidated from posts 53 to 75 (from the old boards) for your viewing pleasure. Because the "princess" is a gold dragon herself, kidnapped in the egg by humans, and Mummy just wants her little girl back. "Kidnap? Don't you know an elopement when you see it?" It's not that princesses taste better, it's just that, like the rest of us, dragons get fooled by the fancy packaging. Maybe he just wanted her bust in his collection. Seriously. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bust_%28sculpture%29 To brainwash her, ransom her back to the kingdom, and thereafter have her funnel the treasury into the dragon's hoard. honestly because the princess is probally one of the healthyest people around, and sick peaple don't sound like a great meal to me, also because she has probally never worked a day in her life and she is still young so the meat won't be all tough and stringy. In the end the princess is just a peice of chois meat, and dragons don't eat second rate meat. other then that we.... I mean they eat them because they want to instil fear in the commoners, they don't want the commoners to join togather into a giant dragon killing mob, so they scare the heck out of the locals with thoughts like "If the king can't protect his own family how can he protect us from the dragon, better to just try to live our lives then risk makeing it angry with an attack that might fail" To protect her from the war that his old friend, the king, refuses to believe is coming. To teach her a lesson in humility, mortality and responsibility (or fear, depending on his taste in color). To help her little sister win the hand of the charming prince, the queen's tiara, or a chance to prove herself. It's all a test to see how the royalty reacts, so it can judge weather or not to instigate a coup d'etat. To prevent a coup the dragon believes to already be in progress. Because she's not really the princess, and he needs to find out where the imposter has her squreled away so he can get his hands on the real princess (pick any motivation you want for why he wants the real princess). Because the princess has some special skill (or spell or knowledge) that the dragon desperately needs for some reason. To seal the deal with a balor, picking up some nice tanar'ri minions. (They do so love that kind of chaos). To draw the best and bravest knights away from the castle so it can destroy the castle and fly off a much richer dragon. To get some good, old fashioned vengence. Just another posession in the trove, you know, a princess for owning. (Say it really fast. "Princess f'owning--") To annoy a slightly fat, italian plumber and a kingdom made up entirely of humanoid mushroom people. The princess was a dragon all along, and just became very bored so she staged everything for more money to the hoarde. Because it is required under section 19, subsection 7, clause 2 of the agreement between the fairytale tellers, the princes in shining armour, the dragons and the pricesses if you have to ask you clearly have never kidnaped a princess before. "What's wrong with that? Aren't you here to kidnap my princess back?" He is a modern dragon, and want to start a business around this plan: 1) Kidnap Princess 2) ... 3) Make money! The silver dragon kidnapped the tribe's princess, because the tribe was gonna sacrifice her to Talos the CE Stormlord and make sure HE will spare the area. Now the silver dragon will let the princess go with the heroes who "saved" her, and make sure these heroes will escort her back to her tribe, so the heroes will get rid of the cult of Talos... Somebody suggested something like that, just going farther: the dragon kidnapped, killed and ate the true princess since long. The one the heroes are seeing there is a doppleganger. The whole thing is a conspiracy to infiltrate the royal family, and if the "princess" looks odd, it's just a long-term traumatism from her kidnapping... Because he lost his magic pea in a series of mattress down beds and needs to find out which one has it. Because she bungled her wish with the Fairy Godmother. She just needs to meet the stupid witch again to clarify what she actually wished for. Because her Dragon husband won't listen to her all day. Because he's an insomniac and wants to acquire the spinning wheel that puts people to sleep. His name is really Rumplestiltskin and his spell for acquiring the princess's first born mistargetted. She was actually just passing through. Tagging along was the princess' idea from the beginning. He isn't really a Dragon. He's just a Knight suitor under the guise of Polymorph. Now he and his beloved can live happily ever after. He's a stupid white. His Red Dragon master actually wanted him to kidnap all the "princes" of the realm so that the succession can be destroyed. Princesses have more fat content than anyone else in the kingdom... ...perfect for making paella. He needed the glass slippers. Because princesses are more filling. To get to the other side. The princess is getting old and needs to be married off. He realizes that he's too busy to get along without a personal assistant. There's an annoying Knight living in his cupboard and he's had enough of the half-eaten cheeses. It's a tax write-off. ...Because a Princess ransom is a lot cheaper than a Princess wedding... She was on holiday on a remote island and she was captured by the local tribe, and offered to the dragon as a sacrifice. The dragon snatched the princess and took her back to his lair. Where she amused him with her dancing and juggling. The dragon was then captured and taken back to the kingdom and shown off at a circus. This enraged the dragon who escaped and ran rampage through the capital. He found the princess and flew to the tallest tower, where he was shot to his death. he has a BO problem and as princesses smell nice, he thought to rub her across his pits he needed some knight-bait she has been eliminating anyone the mirrors says is fairer than her to start a war with israel (i apologise for the bad taste) just to have someone scratch that spot between the shoulder blades she stole the princess while high and now has to lay low until it all blows over to hang from the rearvision mirror in his colossal subra think of the princesses' point of view, makes a change from being abducted by a perv. Shes gonna marry him divorce him and take half the horde. We're at 154 (=101+53), ready for number 155 in the next post.
tsuyoshikentsu 08-24-06, 08:46 PM	Dude, you rock, man! The list is moved to the OP, and you're credited for it.