Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Taris 06-06-05, 12:47 PM	1001 Silly DM Stories! Every DM has some silly story to add to their campaign, something memorable, something that made everyone laugh. Something that you, as a DM, pulled out of your butt that brought the whole session grinding to a laugh ridden halt. Here's a recent one of mine. It all started with my campaign, which starred a lunkhead of a fighter (Korvan the Slasher), a wizard with a penchant for stableboys (Niven), the only stableboy in the world that ever did an honest day's work (Harou), a devout elemental cleric (forget his name, he had to quit the campaign due to school, but came back to play a druid), and a Satyr with a serious problem whom I call Finnegan. One day my party was running to the nearest city, having contracted ghoul fever in multiple party members. There was a serious danger of turning into the undead, so they were hurrying pretty fast. I rolled on my encounter table during the day and... another encounter, right fresh after their last. I decided to be easy on them, and I brought a Satyr out, whom then led them to the Satyr's home, got them to a healer, and then invited them to stay the night. Harou wanted to talk in private with the Satyr after dinner, because DURING dinner ol'Finnegan kept slinging innuendo, staring deeply into the stablelad's eyes, trying to run his hands over his thigh, etc. The stablelad was freaked out about this, and decided to talk to the Satyr in public. It was a well known fact that this stablelad is often mistaken for a girl due to his high charisma stats. When Harou and Finnegan talked in the barn in private, under the guise that the stablelad wanted to sleep in the Satyr's barn with the horses, it was thought that the lusty Satyr was having little stablelad fantasies. Boy where they right! Only problem was, it wasn't a stablelad. It was a stablegirl! Harou's handler talked to me before hand about being a girl disguised as a young lad for the purposes of keeping his/her virginity (which she might have lost due to a festival, a copious amount of wine, and a champion called MacCreedy during the first adventure :D ). The Satyr knew this, overcoming the DC for Harou's disguise check, hence why he was trying to have nasty goatman on crossdresser action with her. Harou begs and pleads for the Satyr to stop, and in fact begs that the Satyr helps her. Finnegan's heart was moved, and with that he helped the lass improve her image as a lad... while getting a good look at her well developing physique in the process. Everyone wins! So about 15-20 minutes later, the Satyr comes back into the cabin, where the other players are waiting, wondering what's going on. It was there he lets out a bellowing yawn, and declares, "Ahhh, the young lad was tuckered out by the time we were through. He just... nodded off without a care in the world. Oh, by Jim! I am EXHAUSTED! I could use a little sleep after having such a... busy day! Well... goodnight!" And while the Satyr closed the door to his bedroom, everyone was stuck in shock, coming to the conclusion that was so implied yet so inaccurate. The fighter was furious. He didn't like the idea of a Satyr taking advantage of the lad/lass. He right there and then decided to kill ol'Finnegan. So while everyone was asleep, the fighter crept up to the Satyr's bedroom. He made his move silently checks. He made listens. Everyone was asleep. Nobody was awakened. Good. Everything was going well. Korvan sneaks up to the door. Puts his ear to the door. Listens before he bursts into to deal bloody murder. And this is what he hears... ~fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap~ Instantly recoils from the door in disgust! And to this day, that was the most hilarious, most disgusting action I had to pull to save an NPC's life.
Da Dinictus 06-06-05, 12:53 PM	~fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap~CONTEST OVER! YOU WIN!