Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Femme_Undead_Lover 01-16-08, 03:59 PM	Well, I started this 1001 list because I don't wanna be the only DM to have PCs that are always saying and doing the craziest, silliest (and funniest:P ) things I've ever heard or seen... Here is my short list: 1) A PC named "Butros Butros Gali" has CC (Chaotic Chaotic) alignment, although his character sheet says its CG. When they were inside the house of another PC, an EVIL GUY showed up and started to "exorcise" the sister of the house owner... The result was: EVIL DROW tyed up with a baggette in his mouth and ears... and Butros shouting: "Speak or...or... or BUTROS!!!" The poor elf couldn't even breath because of the bread!!! He was just thinking WHAT'S A BUTROS when my little fellow shouted: "You asked for it! BUTROS!!" From that moment on when anyone wants to threaten someone they simply shout "OR BUTROS!!!":blink: 2) The same guy in their big big BIG frigate... They were attacked by a GIANT OCTOPUS... so he jumped just in front of the the big mouth and shouted "YOU NEED TO BRUSH YOUR TOOTH!!!" Opened his bag of holding and throw 10 gallons of soap inside the poor creature's mouth... you can imagine what happened with the salt water, the soap and the shaking of the octopus...:eek: 3)The party was inside a dungeon, and they met another woman... a "strange and sinister" woman... Carol (a palladín of freedom) started the argument because this woman cast on herself a spell to hide her alignment (NE) becuase the player knew there was a palladín in the party she was trying to... anhilate. What the party didn't know was this player was role playing with a Half-Vampire. So... there they were in the middle of a dungeon... with a creature they didn't recognize (a summoned demon). The palladin used her ability "DETECT EVIL!!!" and detected that the "creature" was evil... and because it seemed like an Unded she decided to use TURN UNDEAD... As I said, she didn't knew her "mate" was a half vampire... She stood between the demon and the Half-vampire, show to the demon her holy symbol and shouted: "Die aberration of God!!! DIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!! The next thing she saw was the woman screaming, melting into ashes, and the half-vampire summoned demon (yes the half-vampire summoned it) with the "WHAT THE F...?" :uh-huh: face. And that was how another evil guy was defeated... Anyone has another story?
BioEngine 01-16-08, 04:36 PM	4) A huge half-woman half-snake sorceress lies at the top of a tower, awaiting the PCs' arrival. Our intrepid band of level 2 gestalt children (I was a sorcerer / monk) finally make it to the top, to find that most of the roof was a conical shingled roof that our adversary was wrapped around. As soon as my initiative came up, I cast grease on as high of a point on the cone as I could. We figured that her body wasn't long enough to wrap around the base of the tower (where our entrance was located) and if her body couldn't encircle the whole thing then she would fall off. She did fall, but not before knocking me off of the other side. :mad:
Denveso 01-16-08, 06:12 PM	5) My pcs just got though a dungeons near the oncean so its all wet and puddles all over. They finnaly walk into a room with ankle deep water were the BBEG was. My wizard when it was her turn, not be the brightest of them decided to cast lightning bolt. He imediatly saw what was about to happen and tried to stop but i said he had already cast it and there was no way. lets just say nobody won that battle.
dengarbountyhunter 01-16-08, 06:40 PM	6) Just... wait... Until... They... Die. If your enemy is undead, worry not! For even protons are believed to decay! After 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,00 0,000,000 years, roughly half of the dreaded lich lord's protons will have decayed to positrons and pions...
Orzhvo_Patriach 01-16-08, 08:30 PM	7) not to crazy i suppose, but in a suprise round againts the wizard 6 levels higher then you, bull rush him of the top of his tower. 8) cream pie ,alchemist fire, you do the math 9) 5 Level 35 fighters vs a party of epic wizards. The wizards box them in with perment prismatic walls. come back a week later to discover that even epic charaters need to pack rations
navar100 01-16-08, 08:54 PM	10) Make him your friend. Last campaign an evil wizard became a reoccuring villain for awhile. By coincidence, we ended up with a mutual enemy. One battle we even fought on the same side, sort of. We didn't travel together; he just happened to show up and attacked our mutual enemy while we left each other alone. He was a candidate for Wizard Advisor to the Centurion (title for our nation's leader), but didn't get it. The new Centurion was a paladin, so his history didn't exactly mesh. When my character, a cleric, was crowned Duke, I named him my Wizard Advisor. He wasn't even Evil anymore by that time anyway. My cleric strongly believed in Redemption. The DM did not have me regret the decision. It was a legitimate Redemption. :)
Divokej 01-16-08, 09:30 PM	11) Well, not defeat an enemy as much as, a humorous distraction. My group needed to get away from a large amount of goblins. We pulled some tapestries out of a bag of holding, lit them on fire, and threw them, along with smokesticks and alchemists fire, onto the mass of goblins that were chasing us. We think some of them died. 12) Later, after some worgs caught us by a river: we were all on one side of the river and the worgs were on the other. As the worgs were crossing the river everyone ranged at them except for the monk, who jumped into the river and started grappling the worg. In the river, with no ranks in swim. She won but...
Femme_Undead_Lover 01-17-08, 09:39 AM	Now I remember!! 13) 4 PCs in a looooooong cave with only 10 feet wide. A Minotaur of Leyend... Roll Initiative! The Bard go first... then the minotaur... The bard waits.... the minotaur charges... The Bard cast "GREASE"... DM roll minotaur balance... D20 = 1... You can imagine what they had for dinner that night.....
aikimiller 01-17-08, 11:23 AM	I remember I once glued an owlbear to the floor. I have say, I think sovereign glue is one of the most most useful things in the game.
wrecan 01-17-08, 12:45 PM	15) I player I DMed once kidnapped a mid-level wizard who was giving him trouble tied him down and fed him drugs (it was a poison-heavy campaign) until the wizard was physically addicted to the poison. The poison, not coincidentally, prevented the wizard from invoking spells. He then dragged the wizard to a distant city where he was unknown and dumped him in an alley in a bad part of a city that was hostile to arcane magic. As far as the PC knows, the wizard is still there, unable to admit his ability to control arcnae magic, begging for change to feed his addiction.
eamon 01-18-08, 03:31 AM	16) A dwarven cleric of a firegod, with fairly heavy resistance to fire, fairly recently blew himself up using energy-vortex (fire) and along with himself, his draconic opponent... and his necklace of fireballs... which went off (after the third try). The dragon got fried, and he almost died himself, but just pulled through barely.
fighter_mcwarrior 01-19-08, 10:54 AM	17 - I was in a game where the party had to wade through a tower full of constructs once. This wasn't the final battle, but we ran into a group of four nimblewrights, and before they could pull off their more powerful attacks, the party druid cast Wall of Thorns on them.
Avatar of Kokusho 01-19-08, 11:01 AM	This is only theory, but our group talked about it... There is a paragon brachysaurus (Epic Level handbook) apparently in a dead magic zone. We had a long discussion about how it would be possible to beat it, due to the fact that 1/2 of the party consists of spellcasters. My idea: Use some conjuration effect to make the scent of a female brachysaurus, umm..in heat. Use a wind effect to push the real scent into the dead magic area. This creature has been here for quite some time without female companionship. Other half included using a shapechange to put myself in the form of said female creature. Wait until it goes nuts from the idea of a female when it hasn't seen one in years. The downside to all this is that there's a chance that a female wizard might end up expecting puppies after all this.:( :(
Shadowshimmer 01-21-08, 09:53 AM	I was playing a half-orc Barb one time and he was a wrestler and I was walking point and this huge crystal (cannot remember what exactly) creature jumped out and started to fight me. It knocked my sword out of my hands and we were in a grapple. I got it in a headlock and was trying to tear its head off. The DM said I would need a natural 20 to do this. Rolled and 20! I ripped the things head right off and the party just stared at me. It was strange, funny and kind of lucky.
Guardian1 01-21-08, 11:11 AM	This is only theory, but our group talked about it... There is a paragon brachysaurus (Epic Level handbook) apparently in a dead magic zone. We had a long discussion about how it would be possible to beat it, due to the fact that 1/2 of the party consists of spellcasters. My idea: Use some conjuration effect to make the scent of a female brachysaurus, umm..in heat. Use a wind effect to push the real scent into the dead magic area. This creature has been here for quite some time without female companionship. Other half included using a shapechange to put myself in the form of said female creature. Wait until it goes nuts from the idea of a female when it hasn't seen one in years. The downside to all this is that there's a chance that a female wizard might end up expecting puppies after all this.:( :( :mymy: OOOOOWWWWWW! :OMG! Those would be some freaky-looking brachy-babies.
Blue Mage Yui Ikari 01-21-08, 04:59 PM	20 (I guess). When the party was decimated by a vampiric medusa and her minons at the top of a tower, I came up with the idea of throwing a barrel at it (for reasons I don't quite recall, I was playing what amounted to Donkey Kong at this point in the game). In fact, for half the session, I kept saying "Just let me throw a barrel at it!", and the group, coming up with no better ideas, agreed. So I threw a very explosive barrel at the tower, and down it came, bad guys and all (the medusa survived the initial fall, but lost most of her minons, and was little match for the group at that point). 21. Faced with a veritable army camped out around a drow paladin super-villain, we nearly gave up. There was at least a hundred enemies in there (including some very powerful, now undead, PCs), and it seemed hopeless. Fortunatly, I had a flying nezumi who was pretty good at grappling, and one of the other PCs had Gate. One successful grapple check at trip to Asgard later (we were at this point working on behalf of Odin), the drow villainess was no more (she did actually manage a last minute escape, but lost her artifact weapon in the process). 22. (From Star Wars) Faced with an expert Jedi, and his elite retinue of bodyguards, holed up in a safe house, the group decided to simply "nuke the site from orbit" with the use their ship's cannons. 5d10x5 damage can add up really fast. 23. Up against a great armada in a pirate game, the crew decided that they would rather just become fishermen and ignore the evil imperial navy. Actually, the fishing paid off quite nicely. (The poor DM just couldn't figure out any way to pull us back in) 24. (From Modern) Dealing with a monster with twice his level (who could also steal faces and some other nasty things), the team's resident badass did the only thing he could think of: grab his opponent and jump out the 53rd storey window, pummeling his foe all the way down. Fortunately for us, the badass landed on top. 25. (Also from Modern) Who thought that a high-powered mage couldn't deal with a taser shock? Well, it may not have killed him outright, but it kept him disabled long enough for my character (who had a Str 8 and a Dex 10) to get the rest of the party to help her. Of course, the bad guy later "miraculously" escaped capture, as did pretty much everybody in that game, but I had my moment of glory...
CryoSilver 01-21-08, 10:01 PM	26: Want to kill any BBEG in the campaign with a first level spell? Summon Monster 1 (celestial monkey) + Bag of Holding + Portable Hole = monkey running up to the BBEG, stuffing one inside the other and blasting him to the Astral Plane.
Sabyr400 01-22-08, 02:59 AM	27) When the Blazing Wizard teleprots in front of us on our magic carpet, our party leader whips out his as i called it *ahem*the super death bow of awesome mage bane, shot the Wizard from 90ft, critical, max damage, bringing the wizard to excaxtly 0 hp, loosing focus in his flying spell, plumeting to the spires of the great city below. 28)[same party] Dealing max crit damage to a hermit wizard summoner running for his life accross the dunes nearly killing him from 275ft away. (OWNED!!)
Xaer 01-22-08, 03:47 AM	Best one I've heard of was a party response to DM silliness. Party of 4 level 2 characters, ends up coming across a troll. The party had already been in several encounters during the day, and were in no shape for this one. The fighter asks the sorceror to cast protection from elements(fire) on him, and he proceeded to light himself on fire. When the troll came, the fighter grappled him while the rest of the party fleed to safety. Technically, the troll wasn't "defeated", but the DM was so shocked that the party survived with only 1 loss that he gave the XP anyway(along with a sympathy ressurection for the fighter).