1001 Stupid Wishes/Miracles [Archive] - Wizards Community

1001 Stupid Wishes/Miracles [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
Zombayz1
07-27-06, 04:19 PM What are the stupidist wishes or miracles you can think of?
I'll start it off:

1. "I wish for a new DM'
2. "I use miracle to kill god"
3. "Wish for the money tree"
Eriel Shadowcaste
07-27-06, 04:24 PM 4. "I wish for more wishes."

PC: I wish for infinite wishes.
Me: It clearly says in the spell discription that you can't :rolleyes:
PC: OK, I'll just wish for 2 more wishes.
Me: You can't wish for more wishes!! You can't do that and if you wish it again then your wasting your wish.
PC: Fine, I wish that the rules were changed that I can have infinite wishes.
Me :weep: :weep: :weep:
Andorxor
07-27-06, 04:26 PM 5. I wish i would know why i casted wish
6. I wish i had never casted wish,it is a total XP waste
7. I wish i wouldn't have been stupid enought to cast wish again,after wasting 10.000 XP with the previous wishes
albinomonkeyking
07-27-06, 04:31 PM A love crazed fool I made.

8. I wish for true love

I'm not sure how stupid it was.......but everyone laughed me out of the room.
Abulafia
07-27-06, 04:43 PM 9. "Ohhhh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner . . ."
Abulafia
07-27-06, 04:47 PM 10. "I wish for 4,999 XP."

11. "I wish I never learned the Wish spell."

12. "I wish we were playing 1st edition AD&D."
JamesDruidDM
07-27-06, 05:01 PM 9. I wish I could never die
10. I wish I was the lord of all wishes
11. I wish I was the DM
12. I wish all my party members would just shut up
13. I wish I hadnt done that
anarco_rata
07-27-06, 05:06 PM 13.- I wish for a huge banana tree.
14.- I wish I was dead.
15.- I wish I could know what I should wish for.
15.- I wish I wasn't a ranger... (turns into a frog).
16.- I wish i wasn't a frog (turns into a sheep
17.- Baaaa (wastes wish)
Whisper_Swiftblade
07-27-06, 05:14 PM 18) I wish I could remember what to wish for.

19) I wish I could wish opon a star (sudently on the sun)

20) I wish to be immortal, "there can only be one" (that wish is just begging for some pain)
Dowjin
07-27-06, 05:23 PM :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

anarco_rata - I'm remembering that. :)

21. I wish we all learned ten times as much from this encounter! XP me, DM!
- Me: Okay, whats your total caster level, and the maximum radius of effect possible you can muster with your biggest epic level spell?
- Munchkin: Err... About, 3.8 miles, why?
- Me: You see every monster within a 3.8 mile radius become ten times stronger.

(Next round...)

22. I wish my previous wish hadn't happened!
- Me: You take 1000 d 100 paradox damage.

(Next round. Yes, he survived...)

23. I wish I knew how to kill the Evening Star (BBEG)!
- Me: You get a strange inkling that casting wish every round isn't helping.
KurenaiYami
07-27-06, 05:36 PM 24. I wish for a Uranium Sword.
stargate525
07-27-06, 05:55 PM 25. (as the party is beating back the demonic hordes) And you decide right this instant that you wished you had a salami sandwich?!
artman
07-27-06, 06:19 PM 26) I wish I was a little bit taller
27) I wish I was a baller
28) I wish I had a girl, if I did I would caller her
UndeadMouse
07-27-06, 06:42 PM 29: i wish for my pet monkey back
30: i wish i could fly
31: i wish i could live forever

all of these actual wishes. (i did 29 becuase my pet monkey had died. i got a dead monkey :( )
Abulafia
07-27-06, 06:45 PM 26) I wish I was a little bit taller
27) I wish I was a baller
28) I wish I had a girl, if I did I would caller her
:D

You forgot "I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a six-four father"
Monsco
07-27-06, 07:54 PM Your not going to beleve this, but,

29) I wish for a monkey head

Seriously, I dont know why he would wish for a monkey head in the middle of the desert, but hey... (Im not making this up)
Piggyfreak6
07-27-06, 07:59 PM 30) I wish, I wish I was a fish
31) One day i went upon the stairs, and i met a man who wasn't there, he wasn't there again today, boy I wish he'd go away!
ressurrector
07-27-06, 08:15 PM All of these actually happened in game:
31) I wish I had my stuff back! (after Ruins from DoMT destroyed all his stuff, it didn't work)
32) I wish (item party is searching for) would appear in front of me and remain there (permanant image appeared 10' in front of the character and remained there untill it was dispelled)
33) I wish I wasn't so crappy at combat (the timer on the wish ran out after the word crappy, he got an ioun stone of sustenance so he'd never be so crappy again)
artman
07-27-06, 08:34 PM :D

You forgot "I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a six-four father"

It's a six-four Impala. In the video he drives a red 1964 Impala. Sweet car, I must say. A bit of a boat, but it turns heads.
sanities_eclipse
07-27-06, 09:45 PM My players have learned to be incredibly careful with their wishes, since I have a very active imagination and can always find a way to twist their wish. They always have fun though, so much that I have them find different ways of getting free wishes all the time just to get a good laugh in the game when I twist it into something odd. The last free wish, the player pointed to a mundane ring on his finger and said "I wish this would gain the properties to deflect attacks." so I had the ring grow to be six feet tall, four feet in radius, and turned into steel. They proceeded to flip it on end and wheel it down to a black smith and sell it. :D
pierow37
07-27-06, 09:51 PM 24. I wish for a Uranium Sword.
I actually went to this thread wanting to see if this had come up yet.
It had.
DarthMarasmus
07-27-06, 11:27 PM Actual Number: 43) I once played a 1/2 ogre with Multiple Personality Disorder, one personality was a human paladin and the other (the real personality) was a shaman. I got the bright idea to wish for the personalities to be combined. I thought I had it worked out so that the DM couldn't screw me in any possible way. The preamble for my wish went something like this:

"I, Fremen Starwind, while maintaining my present mind, abilities, body, soul, location in planar space, location in space-time, possessions, sanity, and occupation, wish that the entities residing in my mind, heretofore refered to as Elwinn and Fremen, be joined into one persona, while maintaining all of their present abilities."

The DM told me it was a well-worded wish, but he still gave my character cerebral palsy as the drawback of the wish.

It sucks having cerebral palsy coupled with a cursed Ring of Clumsiness!!
Wormwood
07-28-06, 01:20 AM My party tried a wish once.

I went like this:
Wizard player: I wish....
Me DMing: Small boy brusts through the lab door yelling, :"Is this house of Adventurer's Of Blue Mountains? I need someone to track my dog that run off to South Forrest, I can pay you!"
Fighter player: How much?
Wizard player: Would you shut up!
:P

I love wish spells.
CalemJones
07-28-06, 02:26 AM ok heres something that i heard:
party finds a ring of three wishes with only one wish left, the wizards hadn't got to the ring yet when the fighter blurts out "I wish i knew what this ring did"
invisble1
07-28-06, 01:23 PM 45?) i wish i knew we knew how to beat the Seven [BBEG]. ((okay, you knew, but forgot))
46?) i wish to have the power of a god. ((you now posses the powers of Glowworm, god of all earthworms.))

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Zombayz1 07-27-06, 04:19 PM	What are the stupidist wishes or miracles you can think of? I'll start it off: 1. "I wish for a new DM' 2. "I use miracle to kill god" 3. "Wish for the money tree"
Eriel Shadowcaste 07-27-06, 04:24 PM	4. "I wish for more wishes." PC: I wish for infinite wishes. Me: It clearly says in the spell discription that you can't :rolleyes: PC: OK, I'll just wish for 2 more wishes. Me: You can't wish for more wishes!! You can't do that and if you wish it again then your wasting your wish. PC: Fine, I wish that the rules were changed that I can have infinite wishes. Me :weep: :weep: :weep:
Andorxor 07-27-06, 04:26 PM	5. I wish i would know why i casted wish 6. I wish i had never casted wish,it is a total XP waste 7. I wish i wouldn't have been stupid enought to cast wish again,after wasting 10.000 XP with the previous wishes
albinomonkeyking 07-27-06, 04:31 PM	A love crazed fool I made. 8. I wish for true love I'm not sure how stupid it was.......but everyone laughed me out of the room.
Abulafia 07-27-06, 04:43 PM	9. "Ohhhh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner . . ."
Abulafia 07-27-06, 04:47 PM	10. "I wish for 4,999 XP." 11. "I wish I never learned the Wish spell." 12. "I wish we were playing 1st edition AD&D."
JamesDruidDM 07-27-06, 05:01 PM	9. I wish I could never die 10. I wish I was the lord of all wishes 11. I wish I was the DM 12. I wish all my party members would just shut up 13. I wish I hadnt done that
anarco_rata 07-27-06, 05:06 PM	13.- I wish for a huge banana tree. 14.- I wish I was dead. 15.- I wish I could know what I should wish for. 15.- I wish I wasn't a ranger... (turns into a frog). 16.- I wish i wasn't a frog (turns into a sheep 17.- Baaaa (wastes wish)
Whisper_Swiftblade 07-27-06, 05:14 PM	18) I wish I could remember what to wish for. 19) I wish I could wish opon a star (sudently on the sun) 20) I wish to be immortal, "there can only be one" (that wish is just begging for some pain)
Dowjin 07-27-06, 05:23 PM	:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: anarco_rata - I'm remembering that. :) 21. I wish we all learned ten times as much from this encounter! XP me, DM! - Me: Okay, whats your total caster level, and the maximum radius of effect possible you can muster with your biggest epic level spell? - Munchkin: Err... About, 3.8 miles, why? - Me: You see every monster within a 3.8 mile radius become ten times stronger. (Next round...) 22. I wish my previous wish hadn't happened! - Me: You take 1000 d 100 paradox damage. (Next round. Yes, he survived...) 23. I wish I knew how to kill the Evening Star (BBEG)! - Me: You get a strange inkling that casting wish every round isn't helping.
KurenaiYami 07-27-06, 05:36 PM	24. I wish for a Uranium Sword.
stargate525 07-27-06, 05:55 PM	25. (as the party is beating back the demonic hordes) And you decide right this instant that you wished you had a salami sandwich?!
artman 07-27-06, 06:19 PM	26) I wish I was a little bit taller 27) I wish I was a baller 28) I wish I had a girl, if I did I would caller her
UndeadMouse 07-27-06, 06:42 PM	29: i wish for my pet monkey back 30: i wish i could fly 31: i wish i could live forever all of these actual wishes. (i did 29 becuase my pet monkey had died. i got a dead monkey :( )
Abulafia 07-27-06, 06:45 PM	26) I wish I was a little bit taller 27) I wish I was a baller 28) I wish I had a girl, if I did I would caller her :D You forgot "I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a six-four father"
Monsco 07-27-06, 07:54 PM	Your not going to beleve this, but, 29) I wish for a monkey head Seriously, I dont know why he would wish for a monkey head in the middle of the desert, but hey... (Im not making this up)
Piggyfreak6 07-27-06, 07:59 PM	30) I wish, I wish I was a fish 31) One day i went upon the stairs, and i met a man who wasn't there, he wasn't there again today, boy I wish he'd go away!
ressurrector 07-27-06, 08:15 PM	All of these actually happened in game: 31) I wish I had my stuff back! (after Ruins from DoMT destroyed all his stuff, it didn't work) 32) I wish (item party is searching for) would appear in front of me and remain there (permanant image appeared 10' in front of the character and remained there untill it was dispelled) 33) I wish I wasn't so crappy at combat (the timer on the wish ran out after the word crappy, he got an ioun stone of sustenance so he'd never be so crappy again)
artman 07-27-06, 08:34 PM	:D You forgot "I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a six-four father" It's a six-four Impala. In the video he drives a red 1964 Impala. Sweet car, I must say. A bit of a boat, but it turns heads.
sanities_eclipse 07-27-06, 09:45 PM	My players have learned to be incredibly careful with their wishes, since I have a very active imagination and can always find a way to twist their wish. They always have fun though, so much that I have them find different ways of getting free wishes all the time just to get a good laugh in the game when I twist it into something odd. The last free wish, the player pointed to a mundane ring on his finger and said "I wish this would gain the properties to deflect attacks." so I had the ring grow to be six feet tall, four feet in radius, and turned into steel. They proceeded to flip it on end and wheel it down to a black smith and sell it. :D
pierow37 07-27-06, 09:51 PM	24. I wish for a Uranium Sword. I actually went to this thread wanting to see if this had come up yet. It had.
DarthMarasmus 07-27-06, 11:27 PM	Actual Number: 43) I once played a 1/2 ogre with Multiple Personality Disorder, one personality was a human paladin and the other (the real personality) was a shaman. I got the bright idea to wish for the personalities to be combined. I thought I had it worked out so that the DM couldn't screw me in any possible way. The preamble for my wish went something like this: "I, Fremen Starwind, while maintaining my present mind, abilities, body, soul, location in planar space, location in space-time, possessions, sanity, and occupation, wish that the entities residing in my mind, heretofore refered to as Elwinn and Fremen, be joined into one persona, while maintaining all of their present abilities." The DM told me it was a well-worded wish, but he still gave my character cerebral palsy as the drawback of the wish. It sucks having cerebral palsy coupled with a cursed Ring of Clumsiness!!
Wormwood 07-28-06, 01:20 AM	My party tried a wish once. I went like this: Wizard player: I wish.... Me DMing: Small boy brusts through the lab door yelling, :"Is this house of Adventurer's Of Blue Mountains? I need someone to track my dog that run off to South Forrest, I can pay you!" Fighter player: How much? Wizard player: Would you shut up! :P I love wish spells.
CalemJones 07-28-06, 02:26 AM	ok heres something that i heard: party finds a ring of three wishes with only one wish left, the wizards hadn't got to the ring yet when the fighter blurts out "I wish i knew what this ring did"
invisble1 07-28-06, 01:23 PM	45?) i wish i knew we knew how to beat the Seven [BBEG]. ((okay, you knew, but forgot)) 46?) i wish to have the power of a god. ((you now posses the powers of Glowworm, god of all earthworms.))