Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Gamergeekgg 10-08-04, 08:26 PM	I've decided to start this thread to find out what kinds of problems DM's encounter. I myself, have been DMing for a year now and have developed a few hates. Thus, creating examples. 1. Munchkins (powergamers) 2. lack of roleplaying. 3. lack of food during a session. 4. People who join but don't show up frequently. 5. annoying people feel free to share all of your hates. You can also share some very bad gaming sessions you have ran.
ImmortalBlueMage 10-08-04, 08:35 PM	6. Players who don't know how the "Hide" skill works. I had a Rogue once who kept trying to hide under ridiculous circumstances. "I can hide again now because the Gnolls are distracted by fighting the Barbarian!" "Well, yes, that would be true, if you hadn't just shot them with your shortbow. Arrow-wounds tend to draw people's attention." "But I moved five feet from the spot I attacked from!" As much as I hate the Shadowdancer class, I was relieved when he took it, just so that I wouldn't have to explain it to him anymore. 7. Players who use their alignments to justifty actions that are just plain weird. "I'm Lawful/Good, so I'm going to cut this thief's hands off, then kill his children in front of him, then get the townspeople to burn him at the stake. Yeah, it's harsh, but he broke the law and I have to do somethign about it." "Yeah I tipped over that baby's cradle, but it's okay, I'm Chaotic/Nuetral". 8. You know, as long as we're on the subject, let's just put Chaotic/Nuetral altogether on the list too. Not that it's a bad alignment as written, it's just bad the way most people play it. "I'm Chaotic, so I can do whatever I want, and I'm Nuetral, so I don't care if it's right or wrong. Anyways, I'm gonna go hand out some candy with razorblades in it to the kids in that village." 9. When people insist on treating Half-Orcs as morons, even when they have INT 14.
Fluffy_Grandmother 10-08-04, 08:50 PM	"I'm Chaotic, so I can do whatever I want, and I'm Nuetral, so I don't care if it's right or wrong. Anyways, I'm gonna go hand out some candy with razorblades in it to the kids in that village." :heehee :rofl: Sigged!!!
Reklin Hace 10-08-04, 08:59 PM	10. Players who insist on searching a room for about 7 rolls. Even after they got a total of 23 on the first one. 11. That player who's character is so obnoxios even the other players are trying to kill him. (In the Forge of Fury adventure they actually had him dangling over a waterfall with his legs tied.) 12. The player who knows more about the game rules than the DM. I used to be one of these. I stopped when he threated to kill my character.
Fanatic-Templar 10-08-04, 09:06 PM	13 - Character Clones. Not the based of somesuch character, the character himself. 14 - People who want to act like the all-imposing great wizard that you should not annoy... at level 1. 15 - Stupid Barbarians that fight anything they see, from elderly gnomes on a ship to a lv3 commoner innkeeper ( who beat him up twice ). Any of my players who feel targeted are right. 16 - People who can't play a decent Paladin. Either you play a good one, or you don't. Actually, same goes for all classes, it's just more incredibly obvious with the Paladin or Monk.
MinusInnocence 10-08-04, 09:14 PM	17. Anyone not willing to put in as much effort to making the game great as everyone else at the table. This isn't Candy Land or Risk: D&D requires dedication to make it fun for everybody. 18. Anyone who has the resources but adamantly refuses to spend 30 dollars on a PHB. Or their own dice. Or a place to put their character sheet, like a FOLDER. "I'm not that psyched about D&D, sorry." Well, I'm not that psyched about putting up with you for six hours a week. Go home. 19. Anyone who notices the conflict between players, or between a player and the DM... and even makes comments about it between sessions... but refuses to take steps to resolve it. "It's not really a big deal." Neither is your presence here, buddy. 20. Players who insist on having a miniature resembling their character precisely. "No, I can't use this mini. Yes, it looks almost exactly like my character in every way, and even has that cool scar I didn't realize anyone else in the world had ever thought of. But I use a longsword, and this guy has a mace." Ok, well when you buy your own mini suitable to your exacting tastes, and are disarmed... I guess I'll just snap the sword out of its hand. We're going for realism, after all. 21. People who know what time they're expected and refuse to comply. This extends to other issues of courtesy, like agreements to bring refreshments or the like. D&D is a social activity, and if you insist on behaving decidedly anti-socially, you can find another group just as careless as you are. 22. Liars or cheaters. They are the scum of the earth, morally and regarding gaming ethics.
ermedic 10-08-04, 09:46 PM	Rules Lawyers who don't know the rules... Player: "I don't need to cast defensively because I have the combat casting feat!" Players who don't know how to play their characters... DM: "What's the DC for my save against your spell?" Player: "Uh?" :confused: Anybody who waits until their action before they start thinking about what they're going to do. :headexplo
Thomar_of_Uointer 10-08-04, 10:20 PM	24. Players the don't know the rules. I had a PC try to make a Survival check to avoid damage from a trap...
Daydreamer 10-08-04, 10:20 PM	24. Pcs who isnt on acting like a$$munches to any npc they meet. Or make rediculous demands of npcs way stronger than them. 25. And related pcs who do stuff assuming the dm wont kill them. I have a pc who has died 6 TIMES PERMANENTLY and started over at level 1 who keeps doing this. 26. Pcs who attack, kill or otherwise hinder members of there own group. 27. Ppl who try and bend and twist the rules to there favor. 28. PCS WHO DONT UNDERSTAND THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW A SESSION GOES AS THE DM IS. The dm cant fix all your problems. 29. And personally one that annoys me individually. Pcs who pick really dumb charaters( i dont mean int score). But things like a Chaotic neutral kender wizard who thinks hes a flower...... (luckily i ban what i dont like ) but back b4 when i didnt....ugg.....just not fun to play with.
Lina_Inverse 10-08-04, 10:48 PM	30.players who make commoners and call it good roleplaying.couldnt you be an expert?why is a commoner traveling with a pack of heros?shouldnt he be farming?THEN complain that the partys fighter is too strong compared to them. this extends to purposely gimped charecters in general,yes these charecters exist.except for those 10int mages(magic colleges dont let you in without a 15int),or 10wis chlerics(10wis=not enough FAITH to cast divine magic).but theres a reason they arent saveing the world.
Gryllmyre 10-08-04, 11:42 PM	31. Players who metagame or argue against rulings just to annoy the DM personally. 32. Players who force the DM to ask what they are doing in their turn when they could easily have the initiative to tell him/her themselves. 33. Players who describe the rules for a given situation without knowing the FIRST THING ABOUT IT. Generally these rules work towards the favor of the player depending on the situation, of course. 34. Players who run their characters the exact same indignant, irresponsible, obnoxious way that they think the player has the right to act in real life. DM's have to work so hard, don't they?
Master Agnald 10-09-04, 01:26 AM	35. "Creative" players. You know... the "my character will be a half-ogre mage, half-fiend dragon descedant vampire... who later will turn into a lich" kind of player. 36. Overly arrogant players who think their characters are gods... and thus behave as such (specially the evil ones... oh man). 37. Players who don't know their spells/special feats. 38. Stupid evil characters ("Now, I think I'll burn some babies in broad day light... the guards will never catch me!").
Thanqol 10-09-04, 03:02 AM	I've made a custom character class for Munchkin. It's based on the Red Mage in my sig. 39: When the characters are check every door multiple times for traps. I trapped ONE door, damnit! 40: When the evil party wizard sneers at the level 20 cleric of Pelor. Then he's sad when the cleric clicks his fingers, has guards (10th level paladins) drag him away, lock him in the cellar, and 'reeducate' him into the ways of Pelor. He spent the rest of his life as a temple hand.
Harmonica 10-09-04, 04:04 AM	41. Players who play the true neutral alignment into the extreme. "Oh I don't know if i should attack that dragon, he's eating my friends who I have been traveling with for 6 months but hey he has done nothing to me!" or "Everyone wants to go left? ok I go right" Party(&DM): :rant:
Cantankerous 10-09-04, 05:11 AM	6. Players who don't know how the "Hide" skill works. I had a Rogue once who kept trying to hide under ridiculous circumstances. "I can hide again now because the Gnolls are distracted by fighting the Barbarian!" "Well, yes, that would be true, if you hadn't just shot them with your shortbow. Arrow-wounds tend to draw people's attention." "But I moved five feet from the spot I attacked from!" As much as I hate the Shadowdancer class, I was relieved when he took it, just so that I wouldn't have to explain it to him anymore. 7. Players who use their alignments to justifty actions that are just plain weird. "I'm Lawful/Good, so I'm going to cut this thief's hands off, then kill his children in front of him, then get the townspeople to burn him at the stake. Yeah, it's harsh, but he broke the law and I have to do somethign about it." "Yeah I tipped over that baby's cradle, but it's okay, I'm Chaotic/Nuetral". 8. You know, as long as we're on the subject, let's just put Chaotic/Nuetral altogether on the list too. Not that it's a bad alignment as written, it's just bad the way most people play it. "I'm Chaotic, so I can do whatever I want, and I'm Nuetral, so I don't care if it's right or wrong. Anyways, I'm gonna go hand out some candy with razorblades in it to the kids in that village." 9. When people insist on treating Half-Orcs as morons, even when they have INT 14. Good grief! In exactly what manner can killing a persons children in front of them as a form of punishing them EVER be construed as anything but horrific evil? Hell, even burning someone at the stake, murder by torture, or maiming (cutting a persons hands off) would have to be considered a neutral at best and probably as an evil act, wouldn't it? I mean, societies can be sturctured in an evil manner as easily as people after all. Yep, tipping over the cradle would be a chaotic neutral action. But so would catching the craddle as it tipped if someone, say, backed into it. The thing to keep in mind as DM is to keep track of trends when dealing with a CN. If morally depraved acts, such as the ones you sited, are the norm for that character, and make no mistake, they are evil acts, then one day you simply announce that he is close to becoming evil in alignment. A CN is not free to perform evil acts and harming other living things simply for kicks is as good a working definition of evil as can be imagined. Good people can kill if there is a good reason for it. Neutral people can kill without regard to whether the reason is good or not as long as it is not evil. Evil people can kill at will, but must avoid, say, curing unless it serves an evil end. See, that's the point. Evil people are no more free in what they do than good people are. If they perform a good act, they are in danger of shifting their alignments slightly, unless the act serves a greater evil end. So, to decieve a group of villagers in order to gain their trust so that he can ultimately coerce them into preforming evil actions is ok for an evil character, but healing a comrade when there is no pressing need to do so, simply because he is a comrade, is antithical to the evil persons alignment too. Likewise a Chaotic character can not perform actions that promote order without beginning to drift in that direction. That Chaotic Good Ranger can't help enforce the kings laws unless those laws promote disorder, or at the least are ethicly neutral, without drifting away from Chaos. Chaos isn't utter freedom to do as you want. Neither is Neutrality a license to ignore either Good or Evil, or either Chaos or Law. One must maintain the proper balances to retain a neutral alignment. I've said it in another post. I'll say it again now. Alignments suck. The system is horribly broken and never worked in any incarnation of D&D since the beginning, but getting rid of it, or ignoring it, simply unbalances to much in the game as it stands. Now, as to those things a DM hates: 42) Players who purposely mis-interpret the way that a pretty clear rule is worded to try to get some advantage out of it. 43) Players who will not take "ask me again after the session" for an answer. Nothing kills a session faster than someone who has to argue minutae right now when something doesn't go their way. Isshia
Hochi-min trail 10-09-04, 09:29 AM	i'm stonished in disbeliefe that no one has yet said the most disturbing thing: 44. player: "but in my previous's DM world..."
Cantankerous 10-09-04, 09:48 AM	20. Players who insist on having a miniature resembling their character precisely. "No, I can't use this mini. Yes, it looks almost exactly like my character in every way, and even has that cool scar I didn't realize anyone else in the world had ever thought of. But I use a longsword, and this guy has a mace." Ok, well when you buy your own mini suitable to your exacting tastes, and are disarmed... I guess I'll just snap the sword out of its hand. We're going for realism, after all. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :ayyyy!: Beautiful. But for that little extra added realism the next time his character gets shot, walk into the back yard with the minature, string the recurve bow and drive a steel headed hunting shaft into it. It's the little extras that count. Isshia
Megrim_Lord 10-09-04, 10:03 AM	38. Stupid evil characters ("Now, I think I'll burn some babies in broad day light... the guards will never catch me!"). :rofl:
Arak the mighty 10-09-04, 12:49 PM	45. Player who CANT play if a tv is not on somewhere in the room, which ties into...... 46. Player who obviously has ADD and can't stop watching the TV, even when it's an infomercial for a cd scratch repair kit, which leads into...... 47. Player who wasn't paying attention, and has no clue what he's going to do when it gets to his turn, which leads to...... 48. Player pulling up the Players Handbook on his turn, because he can't remember what magic missile does, even though he's level 8 and been playing since forever.
monkeywrench 10-09-04, 01:26 PM	49. Players who claim they pay attention, but don't. In one campaign I'm playing in, the shadowdancer tried to draw his character on the board (instead of using a mini like everybody else, then drew my character next to him dead. He didn't understand why we got mad at him when he asked "Wait, what's going on?" on his turn. I refused to heal him (I'm a cleric/wizard/MT) for the remainder of the session
Black Kitten 10-09-04, 03:02 PM	49. Players who claim they pay attention, but don't. In one campaign I'm playing in, the shadowdancer tried to draw his character on the board (instead of using a mini like everybody else, then drew my character next to him dead. He didn't understand why we got mad at him when he asked "Wait, what's going on?" on his turn. I refused to heal him (I'm a cleric/wizard/MT) for the remainder of the session I am normally a very kind person, but as DM I am known as rather demonic. I just make my players pay for not paying attention. Monsters are suddenly very interested in the character if s/he didn't pay attention. Luckily for me, I usually make the game that difficult that if you don't pay attention you could better start with digging your grave. 50 - A player who doesn't get that telling the same lie to the same guard trice won't work. And even wonder why it goes wrong every, single time. :rant:
Cyan Wisp 10-09-04, 05:34 PM	51. Players who use RL knowledge to pick apart the game DM: "...and two gigantic wasps emerge from the tree-line and make a bee-line towards the party!" PC: "Of course, this is quite impossible. The carapace would not be able to support the weight...and then you have the simple Laws of Physics which would deny the giant wasps the ability to fly and that monstrous spider we saw earlier couldn't support its functions with its book-lung and ALSO..." DM: :zzz: 52. Editionists PC: "Oh! Wail! Gnash! It's just not like it used to be in 2e. Why don't we have weapon speeds, DM - it makes sense. We should have weapon speeds." 53. Double standards PC: "That's whats so good about - Critical hit charts. They make things so much more interesting. You know, you could insta-kill things cos you shot it through the head." DM: "Ok. Let's use the variant insta-kill rules from the DMG. Of course, if it can happen to monsters, it can happen to you..." PC: "Umm... heh. Those charts are overrated, you know?" 54. Players so cocksure about their low-level character's abilities that they feel they don't have to roll dice for things. PC: "So, my ranger and the rogue, both being silent, stealthy types, sneak unseen into the town and observe the inhabitants secretly from various cunning vantage points..." DM: :rolleyes: "So, you're cunning, silent and hidden, huh? Prove it." 55. Players so cocksure about their low-level character's abilities that they feel they can achieve almost anything. PC: "A fortified orc village? Bah! No problem, my 1st level rogue moves while hiding, and silent, into the village and sneaks into a domicile wherein he sneak attacks the occupants..." DM: :uh-huh: "And your modifier for Hide is?" PC: (proudly) "+7! So my Hide is...15! Yeah baby! Just call me The Phantom!" DM: "Ok, just wait while I roll 50 Spot checks..." 56. Smart, er...donkeys. (Raging river with huge slimy mushroom in the middle: Jump check to reach the mushroom, Balance to avoid slipping, Dex to grab hold after slipping, Str to climb back up, Jump to reach other bank) PC: "So, I finally made it over. Now, I get out my pitons and hammer. Should I roll an attack roll to see if I can hit the piton with my hammer?" DM: :twitch: 57. Players who angst about casting spells or using magic item charges. PC: "I, er... Should I... But... I don't know if it would... (nibbles fingernails) Wait! I, um... No. Yes! I cast... Whoa! Did I say that? :mymy: Ok, ok. Here we go. I...Dammit. Yup. I cast mending on the broken rope. Oh no. What have I done? Can I take that back?" DM: :weep: 58. Players who are [I]very secretive about their spells. DM: "Ok, wizard, what are YOU doing" PC: (waves his hands a little) "I'm going to just float down the pit" DM: "Uh-huh. So feather fall is it?" PC: "No." DM: "Right. Ok. Can you give me a clue?" PC: (smiles nervously, sweats a little) "levitate" DM: "What?! I can't hear you. You're mumbling." PC: "LEVITATE" DM: "Still can't hear you..." PC: (scribbles note hastily and passes it to DM) DM: "Oh! LEVITATE! Thank you" PC: :blush:
ImmortalBlueMage 10-09-04, 08:21 PM	Good grief! In exactly what manner can killing a persons children in front of them as a form of punishing them EVER be construed as anything but horrific evil? Hell, even burning someone at the stake, murder by torture, or maiming (cutting a persons hands off) would have to be considered a neutral at best and probably as an evil act, wouldn't it? I mean, societies can be sturctured in an evil manner as easily as people after all. Your passion is admirable, but my example was hyperbolic. :D
On_the_wings_of_TPK 10-09-04, 11:04 PM	59) Elf variants! Theres way to many of them! Wild elf, brook elf, lake elf, river elf, moon elf, star elf, sun elf, ghost elf, drow elf, and the half elf and just plain old elf! And think i may have forgotten a few. 60) The Chaotic Stupid alignment. DM: The really big fighter is grappling you Player: I :censored: myself. DM: ok....... Player: does it stink? Is he offended? DM: :weep: 61) My players. :schemes: 62) I guess the thing that really :headexplo me is when i go through all the :censored: trouble of typing up exactly what source material and races we'll be using, give each player a copy, upload it to an FTP server that everyone has access to...and still have to tell 4 people continually that, "No you can't play a drow. And no, you may not play an Astral Deva. No, you're not a member of the royal family. I'm not letting you play that class out of Dragon Magazine either. And there is no amount of drugs that will convince me to allow you to play a Chaotic Evil mok with Warp Touch! :rant: :banghead: :hoppingma (And if you ask me about that template one more time I'm gonna kick you in the :censored:.)"
Shadowmancer 10-09-04, 11:07 PM	63) PCs who don't bother listening to/waiting for a full description (though revenge is easy enough in these cases). DM (me): There is a long hallway before you. The walls are filled with small, arrow sized holes. Fighter (Almost starting to talk before I finish): I start walking down the hall. DM: You activate the poison arrow traps in the walls. Roll for... Fighter: HEY!!! Souldn't I have been able to SEE the holes in the wall?! Another time the consequnces didn't have to be as bad, but I tend to punish blatant stupidity. The characters were fighting sahaugin down a corridor on a ship, and had defeated all but the last one. DM: You see a rapier blade pierce the sahaugin from behind. It falls, and you see a human woman standing behind it holding the rapier... Fighter (Not even waiting for me to finish this time): I ask if she has a boyfriend. Sorcerer: I cast charm person. Cleric (Who had been in the other room getting a drink): I ask if she has a boyfriend. I had been meaning to introduce the contact they were supposed to find at their destination, which was about a month away. Instead... DM: The captain's daughter (whom the PCs had all learned to hate in the day they had spent on the ship) smiles shyly and waves at you. She seems quite infactuated. PCs: :confused: :mymy: :weep:
diaboli 10-10-04, 12:18 AM	45. Player who CANT play if a tv is not on somewhere in the room, which ties into...... 64. Similar to 45 above. Player who CANT play if they don't have LotR soundtracks playing in the background. Yes I like the music, no, I don't want to listen to it over and over again. Especially when I'm trying to give a description of a dark, dank, musty, eerily creepy sewer/cave/dungeon complex and I've got some epic, inspiring music swelling in the background.
Count Arioch the 28th 10-10-04, 03:14 AM	i'm stonished in disbeliefe that no one has yet said the most disturbing thing: 44. player: "but in my previous's DM world..." I truly hate that. Good one.
Gilganarz_the_reporter 10-10-04, 03:43 AM	65) A player who plays every character as an anti-social "I don't need the rest of you" character. I have a player who does this.
Black Kitten 10-10-04, 10:04 AM	65) A player who plays every character as an anti-social "I don't need the rest of you" character. I have a player who does this. I had those people once. I just make my campaigns like that that they cannot escape without eachother's help. 66) Players who assume every opponent is the same and every goblin is just a weak, 1-hit kill. PC: I hit the goblin with my axe trice. DM: You hit once PC: :confused: Goblins have an AC of 15! (or something didn't care to look that up). Okey, I roll for damage. I give him... 25 damage! Yeah! Who's the man. He ded yet? DM: The goblin looks at the cut you made in his arm, grins. "Now, it's my turn." He grabs hold and hits you over the head *rolls* 2 times. *rolls* That's 40 damage mister. PC: :eek: It can't be! It's a goblin DM: *shrug* This one has 15 levels of Barbarian, your turn. Edit: Spelling
Antigone 10-10-04, 11:15 AM	66) Players who assume every opponent is the same and every goblin is just a weak, 1-hit kill. PC: I hit the goblin with my axe trice. DM: You hit once PC: :confused: Goblins have an AC of 15! (or something didn't care to look that up). Okey, I roll for damage. I give him... 25 damage! Yeah! Who's the man. He ded yet? DM: The goblin looks at the cut you made in his arm, grins. "Now, it's my turn." He grabs hold and hits you over the head *rolls* 2 times. *rolls* That's 40 damage mister. PC: :eek: It can't be! It's a goblin DM: *shrug* This one has 15 levels of Barbarian, your turn. Edit: Spelling :rofl: The ability to add levels and templates to kobolds and goblins is my favorite thing about 3.x.
Arashi Ravenblade 10-10-04, 12:04 PM	67. people that play the exact same character every dang time we start over. 68. people who even try and roleplay there way out of a situation...they either except it or try and fight there way out. 69. Players that want to take leadership at level one because they want an army to fight for them. (however when NPCs are invloved in combat i give everyone expereince equally...tends to stop this when Xp is sucked away) 70 .People that think everything new is lame just because there to lazy to leanr it. (had a player whine over the way im making them create their new FR characters) 71> players that are too lazy to look through a book to find what they want. 72, People that tell you what they want to do on someone elses turn. 73. people who put themselves in obvious danger then whine about the conseqeunces. 74> players who want spells or powers banned BC they keeps putting themselves in a situation where it would effect them. 75.player who think monsters should not have class levels. (sorry but the orc cheiftan is always going to have 6-10 levels in my book). 76. players who want to challenge every well known NPC in the CS. 77.players who always ask how they can become gods. 78.players who demand to see NPC stats when you do somethng clever to them. 79. players who love to use the called shots table im using from a old 2e book but call it bunk when the monsters use it. 80. players that whine when ranged weapon users or magic users attack them there being cowards. (one player does this...why do the bad guys care if there cowards as long as there winning?) 81. players that derail another players plan BC they dont like it. ( i have two player that do this.) 82. players that over analyze the situation so that it takes forever to resovle a puzzle, or other encounter.
Didge 10-10-04, 12:23 PM	20. Players who insist on having a miniature resembling their character precisely. "No, I can't use this mini. Yes, it looks almost exactly like my character in every way, and even has that cool scar I didn't realize anyone else in the world had ever thought of. But I use a longsword, and this guy has a mace." Heh, we had a guy in our group doing that for awhile. Our solution was before he could make a character he had to pick out a mini and base his character around the mini. Ironically, it worked out better for him that way. Until he found a greater magical weapon that wasn't the same weapon his figure had. *sigh* 83) When you give your each of your player's notes regarding your homebrew game/world and then they get mad because its not an "established realm" made by TSR or WOTC. They whine how, "but in Forgotten Realms this..." or, "In Eberron that..." I'm sorry, we're not playing in that setting. The setting we are playing is in the packet I handed you, take the time to read it. These guys don't get that these other realms had to come from somewhere. You think they might have been someone's homebrew campaign? Maybe? *sigh* 84) Players who think they need to beat everything that moves into mushy pulp in order to gain xp. 85) Players who don't know another option other than attacking, even when things are obviously set in a manner that doesn't favor them. I.e.: DM: Fifty men surround your group and one approaches asking for payment to pass through this area. PC: How much does he want? DM: Looking your group over, he states you each must pay 10 gp. PC: 10 gp?!? That's rediculous. I offer him 1gp and we continue on our wa... DM: He says 10 gp a piece, and says this is what he charges those who look as though they can afford it. PC: WTF? So he charges others based on whether or not he thinks they can afford it? I'm not paying more than some dumb NPC...that's it, I attack. 86) PC's that get mad at the DM for situations they have gotten themselves into, and possibly end up dieing from their own stupidity. 87) PC's who tell the DM, "Actually that creature can't do that...it only can do..." I'm sorry, who's the DM??? 88) PC's who have to bring up things that don't make sense for their characters and try to relate their real world knowledge of things. PC: What type of ore is this? DM: Well it seems to be a dark silverish color and possibly a mixture of metals, do you have any geology skills? PC: No, my PC doesn't have skill points to waste on those obscure things. Anyways, I took geology last semester and judging by your description....
Sucineri 10-10-04, 03:12 PM	89) Players who don't believe in the way of "Bribing the DM with food or money". :nonono: 90) Players who want extra exps for "bribing the DM with food or money"..even though they brought enough specifically for everyone to take part in. I'm sorry, when you bribe the DM you are trying to get on his/her good side by treating him/her special, but it is not so special if you treat everyone that way! :king:
Cantankerous 10-10-04, 04:32 PM	:rofl: The ability to add levels and templates to kobolds and goblins is my favorite thing about 3.x. Hey, you don't need 3E for that. Alot of us were doing that way back in 1E days. Way back in 81 at local Con we introduced Gathar, 13HD orcish champion on the Wild Coast. Talk about a shocked 6th level Paladin from the Knights of the Watch who challenged him to a duel. I almost keeled over laughing when the guy did 20 pts of damage on crit to start the combat and then started describing putting his sword away and turning to menace the orcs, only to stop himself when the Orc, obviously no more than stunned by the blow, grunted at him in broken Common "Your god needs a stronger champion." He then proceeded to wipe the floor with the Paladin who, unbeknownst to him, had needed a roll of 19 or better just to hit. I didn't DM that game, but I'll never forget both the agonized whinning that ensued and the looks of sheer stupification that went with it. Isshia
Lordofthebean 10-10-04, 04:34 PM	91) Any player who subscribes to the theory that the more complicated a plan is, the better it is. Oh, and don't forget to metagame. DM (Me): You see three kobolds with rudimentary spears standing guard at the entrance of the cave. Two look alert, while the third is whistling to himself and playing with a piece of glass. PC1: The glass might be a spell component. He probably has a few levels of wizard. PC2: There are some trees over there. We can start a fire to distract them and just sneak by. PC1: Good idea...oh wait. That might upset the local druids. PC2: You're right. Never mind ME: :confused: [never had i mentioned druids or rangers or anything of that nature] PC3: Okay, how about I use my hawk familiar to fly over them and drop some burning oil? PC2: No way, what if he misses. And besides, these kobolds probably have a lot of hit points. ---45 MINUTES LATER ME: :weep: :weep: :weep: PC4: Forget this. I scream in Rage and charge the kobolds. ME: Okay. They are surprised. Roll your attack. PC4: 17 PC2: Sh!t, you know the DM would give them better AC than that! you just blew our element of surprise! PC1: Nice going dude. ME: That hits. Your greataxe bites deeply into the kobolds side, ignoring his puny attempt to dodge. Roll damage PC4: Wow. 21. ME: The axe goes all the way through him. Make your cleave attempt. PC4: 15. Damn. ME: That hits. The horrified kobold catches your still-bloody axe full in the chest. Roll Damage. PC4: 14. ME: The axe lodges solidly in his ribcage and he drops, forcing you to yank it out bodily. PC1: It doesn't matter, the third kobold is the caster. He'll kill us for sure! ME: The third kobold shrieks in terror and runs past you with his arms raised in an attempt to block the axe blow he knows is coming. Make your attack of opportunity. PC4: Woohoo! Critical threat! [rolls] A 25! ME: As you yank the axe out of the second kobold, you manage to swing around and backhand the third one full in the face. Roll damage. PC4: Rolls Rolls Rolls. 39! ME: The axe doesn't even slow down as it shears horribly through the kobolds face. Thorm (PC4) is still trembling with rage in the middle of three terribly maimed dead kobolds. PC3: What the hell was that? ME: You know guys, there is something to be said for decisive action. They were level 7. The kobolds were essentially unmodified. The strategy discussion took up more than a fourth of the adventure. :twitch:
Knight-Triumphant 10-10-04, 04:36 PM	92) When the player, asked what he is doing, spends five minutes mumbling while rolling and writing down several dice rolls. 93) When the party, faced with a puzzle, argues for 15 minutes about who to send out, and what they should do, when in fact, they are nowhere near close to being right. 94) When your players have ACs that are untouchable by ANYTHING in the dungeon (curse you hound archon PC!).
Cantankerous 10-10-04, 04:45 PM	91) Any player who subscribes to the theory that the more complicated a plan is, the better it is. Oh, and don't forget to metagame. DM (Me): You see three kobolds with rudimentary spears standing guard at the entrance of the cave. Two look alert, while the third is whistling to himself and playing with a piece of glass. PC1: The glass might be a spell component. He probably has a few levels of wizard. PC2: There are some trees over there. We can start a fire to distract them and just sneak by. PC1: Good idea...oh wait. That might upset the local druids. PC2: You're right. Never mind ME: :confused: [never had i mentioned druids or rangers or anything of that nature] PC3: Okay, how about I use my hawk familiar to fly over them and drop some burning oil? PC2: No way, what if he misses. And besides, these kobolds probably have a lot of hit points. ---45 MINUTES LATER ME: :weep: :weep: :weep: PC4: Forget this. I scream in Rage and charge the kobolds. ME: Okay. They are surprised. Roll your attack. PC4: 17 PC2: Sh!t, you know the DM would give them better AC than that! you just blew our element of surprise! PC1: Nice going dude. ME: That hits. Your greataxe bites deeply into the kobolds side, ignoring his puny attempt to dodge. Roll damage PC4: Wow. 21. ME: The axe goes all the way through him. Make your cleave attempt. PC4: 15. Damn. ME: That hits. The horrified kobold catches your still-bloody axe full in the chest. Roll Damage. PC4: 14. ME: The axe lodges solidly in his ribcage and he drops, forcing you to yank it out bodily. PC1: It doesn't matter, the third kobold is the caster. He'll kill us for sure! ME: The third kobold shrieks in terror and runs past you with his arms raised in an attempt to block the axe blow he knows is coming. Make your attack of opportunity. PC4: Woohoo! Critical threat! [rolls] A 25! ME: As you yank the axe out of the second kobold, you manage to swing around and backhand the third one full in the face. Roll damage. PC4: Rolls Rolls Rolls. 39! ME: The axe doesn't even slow down as it shears horribly through the kobolds face. Thorm (PC4) is still trembling with rage in the middle of three terribly maimed dead kobolds. PC3: What the hell was that? ME: You know guys, there is something to be said for decisive action. They were level 7. The kobolds were essentially unmodified. The strategy discussion took up more than a fourth of the adventure. :twitch: :ayyyy!: This one needs to be cross posted to the Player stupidity thread too. Isshia
Garith Dragonborn 10-10-04, 05:35 PM	95) People who don't play D&D. nuff said. if god/allah/budda/etc. didn't want you playing D&D "they" wouldn't have invented it!
Reprisal 10-10-04, 06:09 PM	95) People who don't play D&D. nuff said. if god/allah/budda/etc. didn't want you playing D&D "they" wouldn't have invented it! Uh... how about people who don't play D&D, but also try to stop you from playing as well. 97. Purely reactive players (or DMs, I guess) -- there's something to be said for PCs who take the initiative and pursue their own goals within the scope of the campaign.
Lordofthebean 10-10-04, 06:19 PM	Just out of curiosity, what happened to 96? 96) Any player who changes his skill ranks between sessions. 98) Players who refuse to distinguish between "Critical hit" and "critical threat" 99) People who are late. 100) Misers. You know what I'm talking about. Any PC that collects every trinket from a slain enemy so they can sell if for 3cp in the city. 101) PCs who complain that other PCs are more powerful than them.
Garith Dragonborn 10-10-04, 06:44 PM	Uh... how about people who don't play D&D, but also try to stop you from playing as well. !02) and also keep thier children from hangin with you cause they think that you'll corrupt them. even when their children are gothic(not to sound mean to gothic peeps) myy old lunch lady did this to me and she would charge me extra sometimes!
Darth K'Trava 10-10-04, 06:50 PM	102) Players that argue any little rule point with the DM if the ruling doesn't go his way. 103) Players who fudge dice rolls (I rolled a 20!!) over and over... 103) Players who, upon admitting that they know how to play paladins, prove that they can't play one.
TylerMace 10-10-04, 08:36 PM	105) Players who stand away from chests when they open them. 106) Players who are blaint. PC) i swing...11. DM) you attempt to swing at the goblins head, but miss as the goblin ducks out of the way. PC) i swing...17. DM) can you try to be a little more, i dont know, descriptive? PC) i swing...hard. DM) :twitch: 107) sore losers DM) the Kobold's magic attack knocks you unconcious PC) NO #%@$ING WAY! I QUIT! :rant: DM) :headexplo 108) players who think to highly of themselves DM) The evil duke, dressed in his exquisite robes walks down the hall... PC) I jump out and cleave at him with my sword! DM) Ok, make a attack roll. PC) 18! Did i hit? DM) The duke, sensing you, turns about. Then, in all his mightiness, blasts you with a Storm of vengence... DM) you take 137 damage... and die. PC) BUT HOW! Im a Level 10 fighter! DM) yeah, the dukes a level 21 Fighter/Cleric PC) :weep:
Kratilim Valqui 10-11-04, 01:55 AM	109) Players who find it impossible not to play a monster character or anything in that nature... 110) Players who for some reson can't think of a background for his/her character. 111) Players who do both of the above at the same time... :banghead:
Sucineri 10-11-04, 02:09 AM	112) New Players that SAY they want to learn how to play the game yet when you hand them your PHB they whine and say they don't know what to do..even if you talk to them like a child and take them step by step through every last part of making a character. THEN they have the nerve to say they wanted to play a different type of character and whine that they don't know how to make a character..gah! 113) People who use the game as an excuse to see their significant other (or any time two people in a new relationship are at the gaming table) and don't even play the damn game! Sorry, had to rant..my friend is currently doing this stuff to me. He wants me to let his girlfriend into the game that WE haven't even started yet (it's just me [DM] and him [Player]..yet he still doesn't grasp the concept of how to play, and his girlfriend has no desire to play. Then when we are at the gaming table he baby talks to her the whole time and ignores me.
Dragonlancer 10-11-04, 08:25 AM	114) Players who think they can accomplish extraordinary things and insist that this is just natural and quite okay. 115) PC wizards and sorcerers that boast for their arcane powers and are threatening other PCs that if they don't do this, they'll turn them to toads or something. :mage: 116) When players subconsiously think that I won't let them get overwhelmed by dangerous situations and I will fudge the dice to save them. :schemes: 117) Players that are jealous of other players because of some minor superiority. (This fighter has more hit points than me!!!!)... for example... 118) Players than while playing they are constantly sending SMS with their mobile phones. :headexplo
Mantis 10-11-04, 10:15 AM	119) Players of the silent type (knowing their char is true neutral, so they don't give a crap about ANYTHING), playing a sorcerer, not saying a word when another group member puts them into a hazardous situation, not even playing tactially during a fight, but still actively trying to save as many of their spell slots/day as possible - instead of just asking the party to rest so they can renew the slots. 120) Players who need to tell other players they shoud act COMPLETELY differently. 121) Players not being able to remember their chars' conditions, like paralysis, unconsciousness or simply just being absent. 122) Players trying to eradicate their former actions within the same round (even if it is not possible!). 123) Players talking outside of the game more than ingame... 124) Players rolling thousands of checks for something they just are not able to accomplish - and still not getting that it simply...won't...work! Example for those? My players (6 of them) were to get an artifact from an orc tribe. The chief wanted them to complete three quests for them - one of those was to defeat his strongest warrior. It comes as I thought, the chosen monk is defeated and now awaits his certain death, as the Chief shows thumb down. Druid: What?? Alright, here we go - I'm telling my Wolf (his animal companion) to get that mutha... (pointing towards the "chief") :headexplo Me: And you are sure about that? Druid: (doesn't say a word, keeps on pointing) Bard: Are you nuts? Monk: (unconscious) Hey, are you trying to get us killed again? Bard: Shut up, you're dying! Monk: No I'm not! Me: Yes you are. May I remind you that this counts as one round. Talking in-game is a free action, but in my eyes giving your companion an order like that is counted as a standard action. Barbarian: *shrugs* Whatever. I'm up for a fight. Rogue: Alright, I'm hiding... Me: Where? You're standing in the middle of a crowd, and since your druid is being a :censored: , you got most of the surrounding orcs' attention. Rogue: (already rolled a hide check) 18, am I hidden? Me: No. Druid: Didn't you get this? I ordered my wolf to attack! Charging! Me: Yes I did. He jumps towards the Orc Chief. Attack roll, please. (druid rolls) Say, (Sorcerer), don't you want to keep the wolf from doing that? He's right in front of you now. Sorcerer: Uh... well... Can I hold him down? Me: Not exactly, since he's jumping... You can try a trip attack. Sorcerer: I'm not good at that. I'm doing nothing. Or what could I do? Me: How about "Daze" or something like that? Rogue: 23! Am I now hidden? Me: NO! YOU CANNOT HIDE IN PLAIN SIGHT WHEN EVERY:censored:BODY IS WATCHING YOU! Sorc: Uh... no... I'd have only 4 slots left for that day... I'm doing nothing. Bard: Okay, now if that dog... Druid: WOLF! Bard: If that dog... Druid: WOLF!!! Bard: If that wolf attacks him, there will be probably like 50 orcs clinging to our :censored: , and I don't want to die yet! Me: *sighs* (thinking to myself) Now, do I count this as already two rounds? Druid: Uh... I order my wolf to stop the attack. Rogue: Natural 20! That's a 28 hide check! Am I now hidden? :ayyyy!: Me: :mymy: :uh-huh: :twitch: :banghead: Oh, something I've completely forgotten: 125) Players who tend to buy stuff you never intended to be used, referring to your house rule. God knows why our bard spent about 500 gp buying stuff I never thought of making the party need them: chalk, a signal whistle, ink and a pen, a mirror, a grappling hook, tindles/matches, six sleeping bags, a tent, food for a horse (they don't even have a donkey!)...
Greldinard 10-11-04, 11:41 AM	126. Player's who make a mess out of their character sheet.
Sucineri 10-11-04, 11:53 AM	125) Players who tend to buy stuff you never intended to be used, referring to your house rule. God knows why our bard spent about 500 gp buying stuff I never thought of making the party need them: chalk, a signal whistle, ink and a pen, a mirror, a grappling hook, tindles/matches, six sleeping bags, a tent, food for a horse (they don't even have a donkey!)... Chalk - Good Idea. Signal whistle - not overly important, but can come in handy Ink and a pen - Good Idea A mirror - Good Idea (you can use it to see around corners..you do know that right?) Grappling Hook - Good Idea (You can either go through the front door of the keep and be attacked my every guard there..OR you can use a hook/rope and climb the wall and sneak in unseen.) Tindertwigs - Good Idea Sleeping Bags - Good Idea (6 of them for one person though..kinda odd.) A Tent - Good Idea Animal food - Not a bad idea. (maybe not bringing a bale of hay..but a little pouch with some kind of snack to lure an animal into trusting you is a good idea) So it wasn't a waste of money at all, they are trying to cover all their bases here. Players can come up with some serious MacGyverisms here. 126. Player's who make a mess out of their character sheet. Such as pressing too hard with their pencils on the parts where they change information frequently (skills, base attack, saves, ect). I can understand maybe having it be dark at the name, race, skin color, and eye color. But pretty much everything else you WILL have to erase numerous times..so seeing a character sheet with black eraser marks all over the place just pisses me off to no end!
Dryder 10-11-04, 12:05 PM	127. Players not listening to descriptions, and asking questions afterward about the encounter!
Count Arioch the 28th 10-11-04, 12:43 PM	[ So it wasn't a waste of money at all, they are trying to cover all their bases here. Players can come up with some serious MacGyverisms here. I like the guy in my group who said "I had 7 gp left so I bought 700 torches!" I decided right then and there that I liked that guy.
Black Kitten 10-11-04, 03:48 PM	I like the guy in my group who said "I had 7 gp left so I bought 700 torches!" I decided right then and there that I liked that guy. You gotta love mudane items. Sometimes it beats magic on the mid-high levels. 128 - A player who makes a half-centaur, half-drow ranger called 'Drezzit' that specialises in shooting arrows-of-never-missing. Okey, it was a DM-PC, but even then, it was the most overpowered PC I ever met, EVEN in comparison to MY PC's, which (when I used them) were meant to take damage once the team was in trouble.
Grim Aramis 10-11-04, 04:35 PM	...half-centaur, half-drow... What a disturbing thought *shivers* 129) The player that insists to play "the mysterious <insert race & class here> which wants to do good but have a dark side and evil urges" for the 10th time.. in a row.. and couldn't get it right the first time, or second, or third.. :p
Mantis 10-11-04, 05:20 PM	So it wasn't a waste of money at all, they are trying to cover all their bases here. Players can come up with some serious MacGyverisms here. Sure that, of course it's not a waste of money, and of course these items are there for a reason. But all of us are pretty much newbies to pen&paper RPGs, so I was actually planning on leaving those kinds of items out since I figured they'd complicate things for us. However, now that he bought them I will include them. And concerning the MacGyverism: When our rogue tried to sneak into an orc temple (which was, please note it's part of the story, made by elves), what he did was climb up a nearby building, knotted a rope to a crowbar and threw this improvised grappling hook at the building until it was secured. That was probably the reason why the above described bard thought a grappling hook might be needed somewhen else - God knows how he got the idea I'd be putting a similar situation into the adventure too soon again. *shrugs* 130) The INT 7 WIS 6 CHA 6 Half-Orc barbarian trying to impress a Half-Elf broad by holding a speech on philosophy - several times without success.
Ratheus 10-11-04, 07:01 PM	131. Being interrupted. We had a constant interruption problem from a certain player. He was in the bathroom when a Vacuous Grimoire (the cursed book from the DMG...save or lose 1 INT, save again or lost 2 WIS) was discovered and identified. Player with said book was explaining the rest of the loot, when the first player interupted beligerantly. The player then gave him the book and said it was a tome of understanding.....he failed both saves. Player looked dumbfounded....."See, the book worked. Now you understand how much we hate being interrupted." 132. Me: Where's my DMG? Player: I'm using it as a clipboard 133. The player who can't figure out his attack roll, skill rolls, spells, abilities, armor class - and has been playing for years. 134. The player who insists on taking specialized, complex prestige classes, but can't even figure out her base class. 135. Half-reading rules and trying to get a bonus from them (last session, a player thought evasion allowed a reflex save for no damage....on every single attack or damage taken). 136. Spending hours of my personal time every week preparing adventures, then dealing with players who won't even read up or figure out their characters between sessions. Nothing like wasting two hours helping a couple players level up, explaining to them the same things you've explained to them the last six level ups....when the other four players finished in five minutes because they already knew what they were going to do. 137. The player with those dice that can't be read unless your face is a foot above it, who gets rolls like 18, 17, 19, 3, 18, 20, 16, 2, 20, 19... 138. Badly played characters. Generally, the players who play their character, like, well, themselves - no attempt to roleplay. That's just weak. 139: ....But my last DM let me do it.... I know, but the last one is just plain worth repeating.
Platinum Mongoose 10-11-04, 09:21 PM	76. players who want to challenge every well known NPC in the CS. here's one on a related topic: 140. Players who try to get the well known NPC's in the CS to give them powerful magical items. PC) We're in Shadowdale? Me) Yup. PC) This is where Elminster lives, right? Me) Well, yeah, but... PC) I'm gonna go to his tower. Me) Um... ok. PC) I knock on the door. He then went on to ask for epic level strength enhancement items. He's 8th level. Half-Orc Barbarian. 20 Str to start with, +2 from levels. He already has a Belt of Giant's Str. +6 from a newbie DM in an earlier game. He wants something that will stack, too. :mad:
Lasrifriir 10-11-04, 09:22 PM	141.) (ties in with 67) Players who play themselves every single time. In a one shot Witch Hunter Robin Anime campaign that I ran once, I had a player that did the exact thing. His background boiled down to: A guy who was a video game designer (Guess what this player wants to be?) Who attended UAT college (Guess what college he wants to go to?) Who works for Sony (Guess what video game/electronics company he likes?) Who is a Linkin Park fan (Guess what his favorite band is?) Who was a virtual copy of Amon (Guess who his favorite character in the series is?) I suppose that I should be thankful that the character's girlfriend didn't have the same name as the player's (online) one. (Although the character's did come from Texas. Guess where the player's is from?) Luckily, the guy is learning now. Slowly though.
Platinum Mongoose 10-11-04, 09:28 PM	138. Badly played characters. Generally, the players who play their character, like, well, themselves - no attempt to roleplay. That's just weak. Ooh! That reminds me of another! 142. Badly played in the sense that they have no set accent. I once had a player who was playing a "Spanish" duelist. With a French accent. Sometimes. And another who simply adopted whatever accent I was using at the time. :confused:
Jason_Vorhees 13 10-11-04, 09:51 PM	143. Players who go and sleep in Gnoll woods, and complain when they wake up and have been captured by Gnolls. 144. Players that always question what happens in the game. Why would a king bring almost 60% of his men to the woods to hunt??? I don't mean his character asks that, I mean he says "So the king, brings his men, to the woods, god thats stupid, why would you have him do that". 145. Players that always question what happens in the game, when something is involed that he wouldn't know about, "how did the zombie survive when I cut it's head off." (Note: Not a real question but questions like this have come). 146. Players that say no ___ dosen't, like... PC: I hit the ogre in the face. DM: He grabs you by the neck, holds you in the air and holds his blade to you face. PC: No he dosen't 147. PCs who do something stupid and can't deal with the consequences and ask you if we can "Pretend" that didn't happen. Note: sorry if any of this was posted before, I didn't read all the post.
GreatEye 10-11-04, 10:08 PM	148. Greedy and selfish players who are poor role-players and thus always play greedy and selfish characters.
ImmortalBlueMage 10-12-04, 03:52 AM	149. Players who always fight to the death, no matter what. My last group was great overall, but they never retreated, never surrendered, and never negotiated, no matter what. Eventually it got to the point where I couldn't ever utilize an enemy of higher level, it was basically just plotting out a TPK.
Cantankerous 10-12-04, 04:44 AM	Hi IMB, I had that with a good group once, way back when and found that there are only two ways to solve it. Leave the group (or pitch out the player or players who are the worst offenders) or let them die horrobly a few dozen times. PC, OoC: Hey, you can't make 5th level characters face off with an equal number of fire giants! Me: I didn't. YOU guys did. Did any of you ever here of the word; "retreat"? PC, OoC: Like my dad used to say: "I'd rather be a dead hero than a live coward." Me: Congratulations. You did it! Eventually they DO begin to get the idea. Isshia
darczero 10-12-04, 04:48 AM	83) When you give your each of your player's notes regarding your homebrew game/world and then they get mad because its not an "established realm" made by TSR or WOTC. They whine how, "but in Forgotten Realms this..." or, "In Eberron that..." I'm sorry, we're not playing in that setting. The setting we are playing is in the packet I handed you, take the time to read it. These guys don't get that these other realms had to come from somewhere. You think they might have been someone's homebrew campaign? Maybe? *sigh* Actually, they all are. Usually belonging to writers/playtesters that work for WoTC, although I'm not entirely sure on names (many of them appear in the credits for the various books, at least in the Special Thanks sections). 84) Players who think they need to beat everything that moves into mushy pulp in order to gain xp. Some players are convinced that this is the only way to gain XP, and the worst ones are those that INSIST that they are always out looking for the next monster, NPC bad guy, etc., and won't ever let anyone else rest. Back to the Numbering: 154 (what we should be at): Players who somehow forget what they add to Attack Rolls, Saves, Skill Checks, for several sessions in a row. On every roll of a session. 155: Players who want to play something like "Half-Fiend Tiefling Paladin" (I've actually seen that one!), and expect to keep ALL of the special abilities and use them without retribution. 156 (closely related to 155): Players who refuse to understand what Alignments mean, don't read the rules regarding the subject, and (for example) try to cast Evil spells with their Good character. Example: Player: I cast Animate Dead. DM: You're Lawful Good, you can't. Player: But the other cleric can! (other cleric is CN, and has demonstrated severe evil bent) DM: He's not LG. And besides, that spell is Evil. Player: The spell isn't evil, it's all in how you use it! DM: Okay, you cast Animate Dead. Your skeletons attack you. Player: I turn them! (rolls 22 on Turning check) DM: It fails. Player: Why? I rolled a 22... DM: Because casting Evil spells is against your alignment and everything your god stands for. Player: It doesn't say that anywhere! :headexplo If you'd read any part of your class description...
annalivvie 10-12-04, 06:49 AM	157. Characters that are too fast for anything to catch
Harmonica 10-12-04, 06:52 AM	158 A "creative" player who creates a 1st level fighter called logan (x-men) with corresponding attitude. He walks around doing some 34, 36 and some 55..... and then finds out the hard way that, without the fast healing and the adamantite skeleton, this is an express ticket to the grave. And when it happened :D (30 min into session) he does some 107 :nonono: P.S. I am a fan of the x-men, and it is o.k. to borrow something from a comic or whatever to help build your character, but this guy & character were a real pain in the ***.
Cantankerous 10-12-04, 08:04 AM	159) Inconsistent players. If one week you tell me your character is embarking on a long term plan to do such and such (and I thus begin spending my time on preping something for that), and it changes next week because you saw a movie over the weekend that had a cool idea in it your wanting to try out, then after it's happened a few times, I'm liable to show you where the door is. 160) Lack of decisiveness. If you state a spell you are throwing, or a combat move you are making, you had darned well better see it through and not: PC1: "Wait! I'm not throwing Invisibility on the Paladin, I'm casting a Stoneskin on myself instead but timing it until after the Cleric's Heal spell goes off. PC1: "Wait, no scratch that. I'm throwing Transmute Mud to Rock instead and droping my backpack so I can get the Orb of Earth out of it next round. PC1: No, wait... DM: As you step forward to cast Invisibility on the Paladin... PC1: But I changed my mind! DM: :nonono: :thumbsdow PC1: :bigeyes: DM: :twitch: Can you tell I sometimes DM for my teenaged daughter? Isshia
reifidom 10-12-04, 10:40 AM	161) PC's that require a butler to come and serve them the plot on a silver platter, cannot follow any connection between events, and complain that they don't have enough information, which means they get bored, which means they mindlessly kill NPC's. Case in point: I have a group that seems to fit this to a T. They are in a moderate sized city and there is an elven group preparing to attack it. These elves have been in the city for a loooong time, wanting to make an example of the "human blight on the world." Well, rather than ask ANYONE about what's going on, or seeking out more information on whom they suspect to be the very imposing leader (first BBEG) with a pretty distinctive magical long sword, they instead burn down the guy's brother's house, torturing and killing everyone they find inside who is still alive and then following a hidden passage to the BBEG's house and burning it down. Now the attack is imminent, and unless an NPC is telling them where to go, they just sit there and wait for something to happen to them. They believe, rightly, that the attack will happen in a matter of hours, and all the elves are missing from their homes and shops. Where could they be? Hmm, what about that big freaking warehouse that we've discovered them meeting at multiple times? No, no that couldn't be it.
Pharun Necros 10-14-04, 05:26 PM	162) when barbarians rage when the bigest baddy in the dungeon has like 2hp left OMFG I was DM/NPC when my younger brother with his human barbarian decide to rage after a drawn out battle with about 20 goblins & a 30hp DisplacerBeast when all the goblins where the goblins where all dead & the displccerbeast was down to like 2hp and he knew it only had 2hp & he still did it :OMG! I had to kill him or my npc human C/N claric of weejas woulda been toste!!!!
Twisted Puppy 10-14-04, 07:05 PM	163) Rules-lawyer that corrects other players on their abilities and spells, then uses a spell that he says has no save to kill the bad guy (Going off some cards for spells that he downloaded and printed out, I should add.) When I look up the spell later, it says, "SAVE: Will negates." :rant: 164) Rules-lawyer: "I know I read it somewhere, it must be either in the errata or the FAQ on the board." Find his reference in neither place, but he continues the argument. (Due to this, before each session I download the most recent errata and FAQ)
Mahni LeGuin 03-15-05, 02:25 PM	165: Players who ignore the warnings you give... like telling them that this city is very civilized, they take a dim view of well armed and armored people walking about... Cleric: I go to the temple of my Gawd, get a room, and leave everything there but my dagger and holy symbol. Rogue: I get a room at the in with the Bard, and leave everything there that I can't hide on my person. Bard: I do the same thing, but I bring my lute. Fighter: I'll wear my spiked plate mail, carry my large shield, keep my bastard sword in hand... GM: I did tell you about how they don't like armed and armored people walking around, right? Fighter: I don't care about thier stupid laws, I'm a fighter and I need my gear. GM: Not in town. Fighter: Everywhere! I also have my heavy crossbow, my flail, my... This guy had enough weapons to equip everyone in the party on his person, in plain sight, in a town with tight weapon control laws. He was extremely upset when the town guard followed him, beat him senseless, dragged in in front of the magistrate, etc.
The nameles one 03-15-05, 03:12 PM	166. Bossy player who think's that he/she/it can order everyone else in the group as they please. 167. A 166 who also thinks he has the rights to all the money/treasure they party finds. 168. Other player's that let the 166 do what he/she/it wants. I have a 166/167+168 party right now and its driving me crazy. :banghead: The 166/167 refuses to share any gold or items and sell's stuff the other member's could have used. When I had a talk with the 166/167 he defended himself by offering to loan money to the other characters if they needed any. So far he has twice as much money than the other players and the other players wont do squat about it. :nonono: 169. Player's that announce readied action's after the trigger happens. DM -"As you open the door you see three heavily armed guards." Player - "As a readied action I cast Fireball if I see any guards." DM - :banghead: 170. Players that think diplomacy=crossbow. NPC -"Good day. I hope we can keep this negotations peacefull." Player -"I shoot him with my crossbow!" DM - :uh-huh:
Dreaming_in_the_void 03-15-05, 03:48 PM	171. The player who makes a halfling paladin who stands in heroic poses atop defeated enemies and speaks like a parody of Monty Python's Galahad in your gritty, realistic, deep-immersion role playing DnD campaign. 172. When the same moron turns around and wants to play a serious, moody assassin in your D20 modern/1970's disco stomp/Goblins in zoot suits/ comedy style game.
Vecna, lord of secrets 03-15-05, 03:55 PM	173. Morrowind players As much as I love the game I can't stand the players who don't understand why I won't allow there lvl 63 dark elf/ werewolf/ vampire charecter in my campaign 174. Players who expect me to rewrite the histroy of the world to suit there own needs. My brother demanded I rewrite the history of the FRs to allow the papermasters(RoD prestige class) into play
Lord Dracos 03-15-05, 03:58 PM	175) A player who talks about DBZ and how he wants to make a Namekian race and play one in my non-psionics campaign! :banghead: 176) A player who plays a Neutral Good Ranger, then steals an NPC's stuff while he sleeps. :shifty:
Arrowhen 03-15-05, 04:24 PM	177) Players who think "no" means "yes, but ask me a few more times first, ok?" Player: I know you said PHB races/classes only, and I know I not only agreed to it but went so far as to say I thought it would be a refreshing change of pace from the kinds of campaigns I've been playing in lately, but I brought three hundred pounds of supplements with me, just in case. Can I use something out of this book? DM: No. Player: Ok, how about this book? DM: No. Player: Ok, how about this book? DM: No. Player: Ok, how about this book? DM: No. Player: Ok, how about this book? DM: No. Player: Right, human rogue it is... Email from player later that night: Can I be a ninja?
The nameles one 03-15-05, 04:28 PM	Can I be a ninja? 178. Player's that think they need a separate ninja-base class, when the rogue will do just fine! :headexplo /end rant
Arrowhen 03-15-05, 04:43 PM	179) The "just kidding" player. DM: The tiny chest contains a handful of silver coins, a gold ring, and a ruby the size of your thumb. Rogue: Cool! I slip the ruby and the ring into my pocket before the rest of the party notices and then say, "Bah, just a few silver." Fighter player, OOC: If my character catches you, you're going to wake up tomorrow morning with a sword sticking out of your face. DM: Ok, rogue, roll your Sleight of Hand. Everyone else give me a Spot check. Rogue. Uh... just kidding!
Aurum 03-15-05, 05:23 PM	180) Players that read the monster manual, but didn't bother to read the sections on monster advancement. So, not only do they have access to knowledge they probably shouldn't, but have incomplete knowledge to boot. Which makes the just smart enough to say or do something unusually stupid. 181) Players who assume sundering a wand/scroll/magic item automatically causes some sort of spectacular explosion. 182) Being a rules lawyer without being able to find a source, quickly. Being a lawyer with rules out of a PHB is one thing, being a lawyer out of a 3-year-old magazine article you don't have handy that the DM probably wouldn't accept anyway is a waste of time. 183) Any player who ever starts a sentence with the phrase "Well, back in second edition..." There's a reason why we bought new books. 184) (This one gets esoteric) Anyone who enters a homebrew campaign world assuming cosmology is constant, then tries to bushwhack the DM with questions from the end of Planescape: Torment. Despite being probably the weirdest thing on the list yet, this has happened more then once to me. 185) Players who continously cheat on a d20, or that use dice with numbers that are not clearly legible. When your lowest roll for the day is a 13 after 20 rolls, for three days in a row, the DM already knows the situation. As does anyone else who sits at the table. 186) Rules Lawyering out of the DMG. The DM controls the economic worth of communities, what magic weapons are available, and other details that are world-dependent. Rules Lawyering is for the technical mechanics: what provokes an AoO, does that 2nd level spell have a save or blocked by SR, what's the HD for a creature of type Undead: the stuff that is so basic that changing it is usually a Bad Idea. If you start drawing AoOs on a 5-foot-step, you get to complain. But if nobody in town sells healing potions, TS.
adnauseum 03-15-05, 06:25 PM	187) Players who have no comprehension of the significance of encumbrance. (This includes characters carrying around 50,000 gold pieces in their backpack, along with 3 quivers of arrows, 2 full suits of armor, a cask of ale, 48 potions, 4 swords, 2 bows, 200' of rope, 12 flasks of oil, a lantern, tinderbox, 20 torches and 3 months rations) 188) Archers who never run out of arrows and quantify with "But I retrieve my arrows after every combat" Me: "Well that only occurs if you roll a 5 or better on 1d6, and I have yet to see you roll a single D6 after combat, unless it's for treasure" :uh-huh: 189) Spellcasters who get indignant when I make them show me the 1500 gp in ruby dust for forcecage, and then argue that they don't need it because I didn't make him produce the bat guano for fireball.
Vharuck 03-15-05, 06:31 PM	190) Players who don't listen to details I nicely wrote down. No, you cannot be an elf and a shifter. No, shifters can't manifest a dragonmark. Yes, you may leave.
LadyCreator 03-15-05, 06:58 PM	191) Being unable to get new players because you live in a tiny, not open-minded community and your parents warned you not to tell anybody about D&D for fear of being shunned or something; hence 192) Having players who are your younger siblings and therefore... 193) Players who bicker constantly. Our very last session consisted of nothing but the two of them arguing over whether to go into the forest or down the river. That's why it was the last session. Thank goodness I'm off at college with a good group now!
Levi787 03-15-05, 09:29 PM	194. Spells like the Orbs (Complete Arcane) that overcome Spell resistance at 4th (i think) level spells and even come in all elements! 195. Oh, this next one goes for pcs too, (maybe for them more than the dm): Bard PC uses Fascinate. Fail? Ok, i'll try another 5 times and have plenty to spare. Your Fascinated, now for Suggestion! "We should probably go the way the Bard wants to." and of course, this is kind of cool for a bard to do this to some npcs, but when you use it excessively on pcs, to get what your character or you want. Geez it kills the atmosphere!
SwingingBlade 03-15-05, 11:37 PM	196. People who don't bring any snacks to the game and then eat more than their fair share of what everyone else brings. 197. Players who create fifteen page backstories including the reason why they picked every feat/weapon/outfit/skill/spell they have and then get sick of the character within two sessions and ask to start a new character. Repeat ad nauseum.
Ze_Mighty_Vegetable 03-16-05, 01:50 AM	198): Mr. Inmygame This jerk is a DM in another game and he want the whole world to do it. Of course, since his DMing skills and experience are so much greater than the current DM's, he feel it's his duty to inform everyone of how he would handle any given situation in his game. 199): My Old DM Would... This player has found the most perfect DM in existence. And use him as an appeal to authority if you disagree with his wishes. What's truly pathetic about it is that the existence of this godly DM is very much in doubt, as nobody else know about him... 200): I created this core class/Prc/race yesterday and I want to use it in your game. The prophecy foretell that one day, a player will come up with something even remotly balanced... 201): I found this on the internet Granted, there are a few gems on the net. But they're hidden by a truckload of crap. 202): Katana fan-boy Hold the deep belief that katanas are the greatest, most überest swords in existence. Therefore, they should be able to cut through metal easily ("proven fact"), crit half the time and give an incredible bonus to speed. These advantages are in no way an exhaustive list of a katana's abilities... 203): I made a background, you need to change this in your world. Sincerely believe it's his right to ask you to change huge segments of your world's background in order to fit his far-fetched, cliche-ridden background. And take it personal when you say you won't change it that much. 204): Whoever disagree with me is insulting my ancestors, questionning my honnor and those who doubt what I say are accusing me of lying. 'nuff said. Believe it or not, all those are a single player in my group. And it's the abridged version. :weep:
Soepkommetje 03-17-05, 04:41 PM	205. the Indecisive Shifter (PrC). Had one in a campain I was a player in. In every songle combat or encounter in which they had to do something, he changed form constantly (as in every combat round...) while constantly reading the MM during combat
Shocker250 03-17-05, 05:58 PM	206. A PC that has to make super complicated plans out of what should be a quick encounter. D.M. You can hear goblinoid talk on the other side of the door. It sounds like there are about three of them. P.C. OK!!! Now, all we need is to get some string, tie it around the door knob, take the other end and put it through a pully, which leads to a mousewheel, where the wizard's familiar rat can run the wheel pulling the door knob, and opening the door. Other P.C. Why dont we just open the door??? Stupid P.C. Because i need both my hands to attack, and this way i can use a ready action for when the door opens. D.M. Three goblinoids open the door and run out fully armed, appearently they heard your stupid plan. 207. P.C.s that dont quite get hints.... D.M. There is a black glow of an aura around his sword.... P.C.s go and kill this raving lunatic.. P.C. I take his magical unhallow sword.... D.M. umm... well, its not an unhallow sword.. P.c. well then what is it.. D.M. have u ever heard of cursed items??
Titan W 03-17-05, 06:05 PM	206) The players who CAN'T use ANY common sense... this was after a level one party of 7 encountered a Yuan-Ti Halfbreed, who nearly killed one of them... and a pair of posessed humans (Which weren't hard but you have to remember Fireball has a blast radius of 20 feet when you allies are in melee... :banghead: Summary of 3rd fight versus 3 13Hp imps... which were off-guard... In tight configuration Me: you see 3 creatures with shap tails who have thier heads burried inside corpses eating them, they are blind because of this... Ranger: I'll shoot my bow... total 8 Me: you miss (Unsaid: FF ac is 12) next Fighter: I'll sneak up and slash one with my sword (Imp Failed listen check) I rolled a 1, and... (Another roll) hit myself... for 6 Me: Oi... Next Cleric I'll run over and heal him (imp Crit fails DC 10 listen check)... 4 Hp recovered Wizard: I throw I vial of alchemists fire at the imps... (He hists each for 10) a Me: And what about the other 3 players? Wizard: Crap I forgot about them... (Again 10 to each... somehow)... (which inherantly Koed both the fighter and the cleric, who had 0 fire resist @ level 1...) :banghead: Monk 1: I rush up and punch one with flurry (Rolls a 16 total) Me: Attack of oppertunity (M1 is about to contradict), because of hte alchemist's fire alerting them...14444 Me you just miss, glancing off of the now flying creatures hard hyde. Rogue 1 (Yes there are ROGUES in this party with OCCUPIED ENEIMIES)... I hide and... crit fail my hide check... Attack of oppertunity... down to 3 HP... oi... Bard 1: I use Inspire courage... Me: Oi...(About all previous events) okay... Monk 2: I missed both attacks with a 5... Me: And you take an attack of oppertunity, for 5 damage... Monk 2: Crap combined with our last battles I only had 4 hp out of 10 left... Me: (Shakes head) okay then This continues until the rouges are able to finish off the ehemis as the last consous people... in direct combat... :nonono: :uh-huh: :bigeyes:
Kalithor 03-17-05, 06:29 PM	Players who have the monster manuals (all of them) memorized, and before you even start to describe the scene, they're talking over you to tell the other PC's what immunities the creature has (even that particular character they're playing at the time has never even READ about the thing). Worse still, than this, is the player that sets down his pencil and starts pacing around the room after the first round of a reasonable combat, muttering and cussing about how IMPOSSIBLE this fight is going to be, and how you (the DM) are uncool, or stupid to think they should be fighting it yet. This also leads way into the playre that thinks he is supposed to kill everything the first time he encounters it, rather than letting it perpetuate a plot hook, the throws a fit when the bad guy "gets away". "That's not legal! He can't just teleport like that. I was computing his DCs and spells he cast in my head, and there's no way he can even CAST teleport yet!" Wah wah wah.
Lincoln Hills 03-17-05, 07:21 PM	207. Massive multi-player online games; 208. Home console "role playing" games. ...Not all DMs hate these things. But they should! These two things have formed the worldview of the current generation of players, such as: A. The entire campaign is a wargame, in which we are the main characters. All items exist simply to be stolen (by me): all friendly NPCs exist simply to be exploited (by me): all enemies should immediately be targetted by my most formidable powers and hacked until their severed limbs cease to wiggle (by me). B. All monsters have identical stats and drop identical items upon death: then the corpses disappear. C. All plots are linear, outlaid by the DM: there is no point in establishing goals or personality traits for my character, since the story is set in stone and will never deviate even slightly for the sake of my character's particular motivations or problems. Which brings me to 209. DMs who actually run their campaign as if it was a MMORPG.
l33t Shinobi 07-19-05, 02:42 PM	210: players who dont give a :censored: about thier PC's DM(me):ok, finally got backstory and Character sheet done for your ranger, lets go! PC: ok.. DM: what? PC: well, i actually want to play a monk.. DM: :twitch: or DM: ouch, sorry, but the BBEG casts magic missle, and maxes its rolls.. PC: and? DM: your ranger dies. PC: oh well, i didnt like him anyway. DM:dude, he can still be rez-d.. PC: ill just start over. DM: :looloo: :ghosted:
Master_Drow 07-19-05, 03:52 PM	## The player who is bored out of his mind because the dialogue has taken more than 30 seconds. It's not that I'm try to pick on people with the attention spans of rodents it's just that well... You guys make a good session go downhill fast when you start doing things like(and I quote this) " My character goes into the town square and starts to run around in circles screaming at the top of his lungs that monkeys are taking over the world". Now this might funny to some, but after 50 or more sessions with monkey humor it gets to be annoying in a way that you want to start bringing a club to your sessions. ##2.0 Or the same player who actually is only in D&D for the fighting sessions which don't last long so he gets bored and completely throws us off topic, and when he starts to do that the DM punishes him, then he gets all defensive and complains and tries to weasel his way into getting back the hp that he lost for talking about stargate sg1. ##3.0 Or the player who wants to do something else and therefore becomes suicidal so that he doesn't have to play. So instead of sneaking into a room he runs in in a drunken stupor and alerts everyone in a 10-mile radius that monkeys are still in fact trying to take over the known universe.
Light of Day 07-19-05, 05:04 PM	214. Players who have a morbid, irrational fear of taking 10. Player: Ok, I try to jump across the 10-foot chasm. It's only DC 10 with a running jump, right? I have +7 to jump, I'll make it easy! *rolls a 1* 215. Players who have a morbid, irrational fear of taking 20. Player: I search the room *rolls* DM: You find nothing. Player: I keep searching until I find something. DM: You take 20? Player: Nah, I'll keep rolling. It's more fun that way *reaches for dice* DM: :zzz: 216. Rules lawyers who just don't think, and get angry when their plans are defeated entierly within the rules. Player: How could I have POSSIBLY failed that jump check?!? The PHB says it's DC 20, I got a 21! I did NOT fail that! :rant: DM: As I explained earlier, the floor is slippery. That means you take a -2 circumstance penalty. Player: :uh-huh: :headexplo :tantrum:
Pellanor 07-19-05, 05:34 PM	DM: ouch, sorry, but the BBEG casts magic missle, and maxes its rolls.. PC: and? DM: your ranger dies. PC: oh well, i didnt like him anyway. DM:dude, he can still be rez-d.. PC: ill just start over. DM: :looloo: :ghosted:hey. That's me. Of course this may be in part due to the fact that I've had more character deaths then any other 2-3 players in our group combined. Don't ask me how that happens, as I'm the best min-maxer in the group too. Though it may be that I just don't fudge my rolls. anyways, back to the topic at hand... 217 When the players spend an entire session making a convoluted plot to deal with something that you threw in as a little "flavor text". ie. Players have just stealth ninja'd their way into the secret headquarters of the evil mages guild. They are discovered inside and manage to flee. The Mages, their secret discovered, start to pack up to move, and have minions cart away furniture and misc stuff. PC's spend a good hour or to plotting how to ambush the porters and wagoneers (is that a word) so as to thwart the mighty and evil plan of "moving furniture" which is obviously going to lead to the destruction of the world if it is not halted. Did I mention that the PCs were 8th lvl at the time? 218 Players that try to argue for additional benefits for weapons based on their real world knowledge. One of my players is in a medevil reinactment group and is one of the top sword fighters in the city. He insists that a quarterstaff can be used as a reach weapon and used to make trip attacks because he knows how to do that himself, and his 10th level fighter is supposed to be much more skilled at combat then he is. 219 Players that assume that every named NPC is able to kick their ass. Reall, just because he's the prince of the kingdom doesn't mean he is 20th level. 220 Players that assume that they can defeat anything. Just because he's the prince of the kingdom, doesn't mean he isn't 20th level. 221 Poor players who make me pay for the pizza, cause I'm the only one that has a real job. I'm the DM. There's supposed to be benefits for all those hours of effort I put into the game.
TheChilliGod 07-19-05, 05:38 PM	It's funny, I've noticed that nearly every single item on this list refers to annoying players. I'm going to try and deviate from that norm for a bit... --- 222-Spilling your hot chocolate all over your recently-done map, accidentally, while not intending to use it as a rusty map later on. So you have to start from scratch all over again. 223-The dice that somehow give nothing except either 20's or 1's, and always when you don't want one or the other. 224-Storing your campaign files on your computer, and a virus got in and wiped everything. 225-Not having any erasers at the gaming table. 226-Writing all the stuff like hit points and temporary things... in pen. --- Okay, now that I've done that, on with the players again. --- 227-The player that claims to be a rules lawyer, and acts like one, but in fact, does not know the rules he's arguing about. Like the time the rules lawyer claims once a pit is disarmed it's safe to walk over, or you can, in fact, take 20 on disarm checks for the trap. 228-The player that confuses D&D with other RPG games, such as Everquest. 229-The player that completely ignores what the other players are doing to go off and does his own thing, such as the wizard going to sleep in the inn at 2:00pm so he can prepare his spells, and the rest of the party decides to actually do stuff with their time besides sleeping. Or the rogue that spends an hour taking 20 on checking every nook and cranny of a room for traps.
da beast 07-19-05, 11:46 PM	Not sure on the number sorry... Any way: Pencils: We usually get pencils stuck under books and stuff so we can never find them.
Silais 07-20-05, 04:28 AM	231. Players that are hitting on each other. 232. Players who purposly try and promote all the negitive sterrotypes society has about D&D. 233. Players who constantly want to change characters. 234. Players who are content to see a character through a campain but come up with their ideas for new characters faster than you can give a yes/no/mabey 235. Players who are offended because you asked a different more experiance player to help co-DM 236. Players who believe EVERY NPC must have a twist. PC: So your the psycotic heritic whom summoned the demonic army to destroy that elf city. NPC: *Note she was found unconcious and badly injured at the feat of a spellcaster whom faught with entirly summons, and is now bound tied by the PCs* I don't know what your talking about. PC: So if your innocent what we're you doing hideing in that abandoned temple. NPC: I was only looking for a safe place to sleep, everyone is trying to kill me. PC: Ya right PC: *OOC* I'm making a intimidate check to get her to tell the truth (roles a 24 or so) DM: She begins weep. NPC: Please don't hurt me, I've done nothing wrong, I don't Want to die! PC: *OOC* Hmm... Must not have rolled good enough. I beat her into unconciousness again then use a potion to wake her, that ought to give me a bonus. PC: *IC* How do you like that wench DM: She isn't responding to you she's curled up in a ball crying uncontrolably. Sane PC: Dude mabey she's telling the truth. PC: Oh come on, when has our DM EVER made any NPC that was a she appeared? This one's probably powergamed specificly to kill us. Any way she eventualy turned out to be a chotic good cleric of a god of healing, she just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The player still doesn't trust her, and is conviced she'll turn on them. :looloo: 237. Player who can't make up their mind about anything, and use the dice to decide for them. "I can't pick my race, I know I'll just roll a D6" 238. Players who know most of the monsters out of the monster manules, and don't think that the DM might make a homebrewn monster just for the heck of it.
Paladin2004 07-20-05, 06:58 AM	232. Players. :P
SwitchUK 07-20-05, 09:24 AM	239: wants to know EVERY detail, about everything. Gets upset when i don't tell him the AC of the critter he's fighting, or the exact mechanics of the table I use to randomly generate creatures inside a dimensional rift... 240: players who think that an ability score of 10 or 11 represents a horrifically weak/stupid/clumsy etc score.
High King Tigernmas 07-20-05, 09:39 AM	241. 'I'll play, you guys come round to my place in a couple of days, ok'...Three months later, 'How come you guys never let me play?' 242. Having to put up with Motorhead during the dialogue you've spent a day writing while one player headbangs and the others talk amongst themselves. 243. When the players do 242 and then complain they weren't told what was coming next. 244. Making names for useless NPCs who appear once.
Radijs 07-20-05, 10:33 AM	#245: Players who ALWAYS have to play the same class 'cause its easier for me to play that class'. The player who does this coincides with rule 138. She has someone else make all her characters and they are always rogues. After long discussion I finally got her to be a bard in my campaign.
High King Tigernmas 07-20-05, 10:45 AM	146. The player that always has to be the same alignment- in my experience its always evil, because 'I think its really cool'. I finally managed to convine the player to be Neutral. He was so ******* pious I have now altered his alignment to CG :)
Lao, Ninja of the Dragon 07-20-05, 11:19 AM	147:Unearthed Arcana*crawls into fetal position* 148:My mom who comes in for a session, plays a fighter, sees a goblin, runs away screaming 149:My brother who wants to play and doesn't realize that when you die you die, you can't save and go back. He dosen't realize when something happens in the game world it cannot unhappen. 150:The PC who think a halfling rogue is so original 151:Halflings 152:Racist PCs PC:I walk into a bar DM:You see a orc bartender PC:I kill him
demonpunk 07-20-05, 11:54 AM	153) "Can I make a Diplomacy check?" Really more of a problem with players relying on rolls instead of role playing. 154) Inability to do math. PC: I roll a 28 to hit. DM: No, that's an 18. PC: OK, whatever. DM: "Whatever?" :headexplo 155) "Well, I'm Chaotic Neutral, so..." It bears mention again. 156) The time honored tradition of "dibs" when dividing up treasure. 157) Relying on Uncanny Dodge as a defense against anything, based on the name alone. 158) Insisting on killing monsters as the only way to gain XP, in a game where I only do ad hoc XP and have only done it that way for a year. 159) A warped view of ability scores--anything below 14 is weak. PC: My character doesn't know any better, he's pretty stupid... DM: What's his Intelligence? PC: 12. 160) Relating everything to novels and movies. Even making arguments about the way something should be or that something should work because it was in a movie or book. I love Stephen King's Dark Tower series, but your PC is not from Gilead.
Nani? 07-20-05, 12:04 PM	152. All 355+ Prestige classes and players who expect you to have everyone availible. 153. Player who stare at you like deers in the headlights when you come with something from a non-published source. 154. Experinced Player: "Can I be a Ninja?" My response: " No problem, take Rogue, put your skill points into climb, move silent, bluff, jump, tumble etc. Write a good background and I'll give you exotic weapon proficeny for free for flavor purposes. Come up with an excuse and I'll let you switch out a class skill or two out, Unearthed Arcana style (and pointing out the "wilderness rogue" to illustrate what I mean). Then call yourself and act like a ninja." Player: Slack jawed, eyes blank, "I don't understand." 155: Warlocks, and Warlocks. Oh and buy the way I hate Warlocks. Did I tell you I hate F***in Warlocks. 156:Badly Written Splat Books (More and More Common). All the Best, Nani?
da beast 07-20-05, 01:07 PM	We accidently went back 100 numbers lol (look at the last couple posts and you'll see what happened) 256: Sudden schedule changes: Me and my players have alot of trouble getting together because of these.
UndeadMouse 07-20-05, 01:41 PM	52. Editionists PC: "Oh! Wail! Gnash! It's just not like it used to be in 2e. Why don't we have weapon speeds, DM - it makes sense. We should have weapon speeds." I can relate. :ayyyy!: 257(ish): people who don't read the core rulebooks. DM: Roll initiative. PC: umm... how do I do that? DM: roll d20, yes the big one, and add your Dex modifier. PC: I got a 2. DM: with dexterity? PC: umm... yes DM: :rolleye2: 258: people who's characters just happen to really hate my avatar's race PC: I attack (avatar's name here). DM: are you sure? PC: yes. DM (as avatar): why are you attacking me? PC: because i :censored: hate your race! DM: roll initiative. PC: i got a 23. DM (as avatar): i got a 24. i sneak attack you... attack roll 56... dealing 45... and 20... and 49... i'm sorry, you are dead. :nonono: when will you learn that no matter what, i can not be killed. 259: (like 52): people who are playing off of a version that i don't have PC: in (edition) the Staff of power was 50,000gp, and was a minor magic item. why can't we buy them here? DM: :headexplo are we playing (edition)? no. when we are, i will conform to all the rules for that edition. 260: people who 'conviently' don't get my messages DM (just after creature attacked PC): the ogre mage dealt 45 points of damage. what is your new HP? PC: -27. DM: let me see that. hmm... why are you at 3rd level? PC: i thought you wanted us to be at 3rd level DM: did you get my last post? PC: yes DM (to group): did i clearly say on my last post that I wanted everyone to be at 8th level? group: yes. DM: why are you at 3rd when I clearly wanted you to be at 8th? PC: i didn't get that post. DM: :surrender :twitch: :censored:
Zorminster 07-20-05, 01:41 PM	257) drawing up maps from scratch 258) designing towns that are larger than 8-10 dwellings 259) when players ask about the government in that particular area (this one riles me up because for some stupid reason i use feudal as the gov everywhere- this makes it a pain when they want names of all the nobleman) 260) "Wheres the magic shop" - in a town of 15 people 261) "I pickpocket the Large sized halbred" (from right behind the shopkeep) 262) Players who will not use their character to at least 80% potential- ie forgetting they have feats or skills, access to spells other than cure light wounds and goodberries, etc 263) Players who refuse to think of their own accord- its okay to be a follower of the group leader but theres no reason to ask EVERY ROUND whether you should attack or not. 264) hearing the phrase "I wont attack because it'll pull agro!" ~ MMPORPG players know what im talkin about oh and whoever posted on second page about using the suggestion to control PCs- you shouldn't let this happen [1) cause RAW you cant intimidate or bluff PCs to effectively let you control them and 2) cause it ruins the games fun for that player]
orionm42 07-20-05, 02:35 PM	265. Assigning skill points for BBEG's
Vrykolas2k 07-20-05, 05:21 PM	266: The players who say, "I'll be there {at such-and-such time, on such-and-such day}." They don't show, or call, or tell any of the other players they won't be there. They wonder why you don't let them in the door after the third time. 267: The players who demand a magic item every encounter, whether the items rolled fit their class or not. If not, they simply hold on to it, no matter how much it might benefit the party as a whole in the hands of another member. They often sell it for all they can get, then whine if another player does the same thing. They won't trade for an item usable for their class if the item they got is worth more. If their character or another's character get killed due to the lack of a useful item, it isn't their fault... it's the DM's fault. 268: The players who try to talk the arcane and divine casters into taking spells and feats so they can create uberness. 269: The player who is a combination of the three. 270: The player who has his character do something particularly vile because it's "mature".
kaldrin 07-20-05, 05:34 PM	11. That player who's character is so obnoxios even the other players are trying to kill him. (In the Forge of Fury adventure they actually had him dangling over a waterfall with his legs tied.) Yep. We have one now. Got all his divinely given abilities taken away because he's a tool and doesn't realize it yet. Also he has been exchanged by a doppleganger and the party likes the doppleganger better. My personal pet peeve is poor roleplayers, which probably encompasses 90% of the complaints in this thread. - they use alignment as a crutch for poor actions - they are rude and obnoxious to other characters, whether they are npcs or not - they can't sit back and take a second to think: 'based on how would I react in this situation, what do I think these npcs are going to do?' - they think alignment = ironclad list of actions and none others are viable. - they act like a fool because there are no consequences - etc.
TheAwersome 07-20-05, 08:54 PM	271) Having Dungeons make sense 272) Cheating Players DM: Roll your attack PC: I got a (pause, hear a die shift) 18. 273) Players who don't know which die is what. PC: I attack DM: Roll a d20 PC: Which one's that? 274) Players who don't know their stats PC: I hit Me: How much damage do you do? PC: Umm, how do I figure that? 275) Players that don't understand that talking takes time Me: Okay, Wizard it's your turn (Wizard PC counsels with the group for at least 20 seconds on what to do, (does this almost every turn, though is getting better)) me: The ogre takes a swing at you with it's giant club PC: WHAT?! I dind't get to go!! Me: Yeah you did, you talked strategy (PC is then sulky the rest of the session.) 276) Player's that don't understand that taking 20 means it takes 20X the time. PC: K, since I have the highest search, I'm goint to take 20 on the whole dungeon. (Dungeon is at least 3,000 sq. feet.) Me: Okay, on your third day of searching you take 1d6 nonlethal damage from hunger PC: What? There's no way it takes that long.. 277) People using your maps to write notes on. (I do my D&D work by the computer.) I will frequently be DMing a session and then find written all over my map "David-- call Becky 381-4872" Therefore screwing up what my rooms were numbered 278) Players who only do character work/rules studying DURING a session. 279) Session spectator/commenters. Me: You see (NPC) he greets you "Oi Laddies! It be noice seeyin ye agin!" spectator: AhAHA! Wtf? Geeks, makin' weird voices! :banghead: This always makes my players totally shy away from any roleplaying whatsoever. It's always at the most awkward time when they walk by as well, usually when I'm either being the weird NPC or describing a gruesome sacrifice, so everyone thinks we're satanic lol. 280) Players who don't understand that dying/losing levels due to energy drain is a normal part of the game. 281) (Goes in with 273) Players who won't roll any dice unless you tell them to. Seriously, you've been playing for a year, you know that you roll a d20 for an attack, why don't you do it!? :twitch: 282) Royal N00bs I once found a CS where everywhere it said "+Dex" the kid wrote his dex score. Me: Make an Open Lock Check. pC: A what? Me: An open lock check, it's a skill PC: Oh, umm 18 me: Wait, roll the die first. PC: Oh, I roll a die? Then what's the skill number for? Me: You need to add the number to ur roll Pc: Oh, umm, which die? Oh, the 20-sided one. Which one's that? Okay, so I rolled a 3, so I add 18-- Me: Wait, add 18? You're a level 1 rogue, you don't have 14 ranks in a skill. 283) Players who cheat by talking in the immediate future tense PC: I'm going to walk down the hall Me: Okay, You trigger the wall blade trap. PC: Okay, so I don't do that. me: WHat do you mean? you just did it! PC: No, I said I was going to. :headexplo 284) Players who don't realize that some creatures are just plain evil. Me: You see a Huge black dragon destroying the town PC: Well I speak Draconic, I'm going to go talk to him, try and get him to stop. Me: As he sees your approach, he walks to your direction and roars. pC: I ask him what he's doing Me: He attacks you with his massive claws. PC: What?! I haven't even done anything to offend him! 285) Elf PCs who claim they can never get ambushed at night because they "trance" they don't sleep, so they would notice anything happening. 286) Players that insist on having 3 sessions on the weekend, each 7 hours long. :twitch: 287) Players too busy stacking their dice to pay attention 288) Getting brain-crashes. 289) Not really a hate, but Players who forget that in order for their characters to learn something they don't know, someone has to tell them. (PC1 is talking to NPC behind building, rest of party is in tavern.) Me: PC1, NPC tells you that he was involved in the furthering of the BBEG's plot. PC2: Kill HIm! I take out my rapier and run around back to kill him! Thelron, (pC1's name) Wait for me to come around before you do anything. Me: Okay, first: PC2, you can't see/hear the situation, or even know it's happening, and second: You can't talk to someone through 5 walls of building. 290) Player's who don't believe in penalites on checks, unless it's the enemies. 291) Player's who try to McGyver totally modern things, which the characters would have no knowledge whatsoever of, and players that "invent" modern things. 292) Players who say that "this is dumb" when they roll a 1 on a perform check in which they have 1 rank, and are shocked when the audience forms a mob and comes after them. 293) Cheating on Initiative with a familiar. My wizard player always rolls 2d20's when rolling initiative, one for familiar, one for self. "Coincedently" his familiar always ends up with the lower initiative :rolleyes: 294) Stupid Players. PC: I take out both my morningstars and spin around while walking to said point. Me: :uh-huh: Okay, you lose your dexterity bonus to AC, you don't have two-weapon fighting, and ur not even making attacks, so u provoke AoO's from all the creatures you pass.
RaspK FOG 07-20-05, 09:37 PM	91) Any player who subscribes to the theory that the more complicated a plan is, the better it is. Oh, and don't forget to metagame. DM (Me): You see three kobolds with rudimentary spears standing guard at the entrance of the cave. Two look alert, while the third is whistling to himself and playing with a piece of glass. PC1: The glass might be a spell component. He probably has a few levels of wizard. PC2: There are some trees over there. We can start a fire to distract them and just sneak by. PC1: Good idea...oh wait. That might upset the local druids. PC2: You're right. Never mind ME: :confused: [never had i mentioned druids or rangers or anything of that nature] PC3: Okay, how about I use my hawk familiar to fly over them and drop some burning oil? PC2: No way, what if he misses. And besides, these kobolds probably have a lot of hit points. ---45 MINUTES LATER ME: :weep: :weep: :weep: PC4: Forget this. I scream in Rage and charge the kobolds. ME: Okay. They are surprised. Roll your attack. PC4: 17 PC2: Sh!t, you know the DM would give them better AC than that! you just blew our element of surprise! PC1: Nice going dude. ME: That hits. Your greataxe bites deeply into the kobolds side, ignoring his puny attempt to dodge. Roll damage PC4: Wow. 21. ME: The axe goes all the way through him. Make your cleave attempt. PC4: 15. Damn. ME: That hits. The horrified kobold catches your still-bloody axe full in the chest. Roll Damage. PC4: 14. ME: The axe lodges solidly in his ribcage and he drops, forcing you to yank it out bodily. PC1: It doesn't matter, the third kobold is the caster. He'll kill us for sure! ME: The third kobold shrieks in terror and runs past you with his arms raised in an attempt to block the axe blow he knows is coming. Make your attack of opportunity. PC4: Woohoo! Critical threat! [rolls] A 25! ME: As you yank the axe out of the second kobold, you manage to swing around and backhand the third one full in the face. Roll damage. PC4: Rolls Rolls Rolls. 39! ME: The axe doesn't even slow down as it shears horribly through the kobolds face. Thorm (PC4) is still trembling with rage in the middle of three terribly maimed dead kobolds. PC3: What the hell was that? ME: You know guys, there is something to be said for decisive action. They were level 7. The kobolds were essentially unmodified. The strategy discussion took up more than a fourth of the adventure. :twitch: This is so put in my signature... Thanks for the day-maker! :D 0295. The Enlightened Inventors: basically, any player who thinks that it's entirely normal for their character to come up with such stuff as explosives and less-than-legal-substances in-game (black powder and dynamite being the most common; the funny thing is that the inventor of dynamite was Nobel)!
FirkDingBlat 07-22-05, 01:05 PM	210: players who dont give a :censored: about thier PC's DM(me):ok, finally got backstory and Character sheet done for your ranger, lets go! PC: ok.. DM: what? PC: well, i actually want to play a monk.. DM: :twitch: or DM: ouch, sorry, but the BBEG casts magic missle, and maxes its rolls.. PC: and? DM: your ranger dies. PC: oh well, i didnt like him anyway. DM:dude, he can still be rez-d.. PC: ill just start over. DM: :looloo: :ghosted: 296. Along that line Players who announce smugly that they are making a new character when their's dies because they don't want to be behind in levels, and then get mad when you tell them they can't avoid the penalty of dying that way. You will let them make a new character but he will still be a level lower. (losing magic items should be considered a penalty, but this party had an artificer) 297. Artificers 298. People who think that because a metropolis should have access to every magic item up to 100,000gp they automatically can find what they need to create every item up to that amount. Then get irritated when you say it doesn't work like that. 299. Groups who change the initiative order every single round of combat through the strategic use of delay and ready. 300. Players who argue at length about the theoretical application to the situation of rules they have no intention of using. 301. Players who say "I was talking out of character!" when you try to get the game moving by having npc's react to what they are saying.
Venom of the Yuan Ti 07-22-05, 03:30 PM	302: Players who play themselves 303: Players who take 2 or more utterly non indentical PrCs, for the interest. Fighter 5 Dwarven defender 4 duelist 2 anyone? 304: Rolling 10000gp worth of gems for a level one treasure. 305: Realising that you have not allowed the PCs acsess to a large town to spend their gold in, result, rouge with 20+ MWs throwing daggers. 306: Constant irrelivant comparisons to other RPGs, "In MERP it works like this..."
ForneyFreak3708 07-22-05, 04:03 PM	307. Players that dont like their character so they do everythign possible to bring their lives to a tragic end.
Illion the Red 07-22-05, 04:18 PM	307. Players that dont like their character so they do everythign possible to bring their lives to a tragic end. Easy solution for this one...grant them death...in the first five minutes of a six-hour session. Sorry, You can't bring in a new character until I can work it into the story. Probably sometime in the next session.
Nyarlathotep 07-22-05, 04:25 PM	67. people that play the exact same character every dang time we start over. All of my players are like that, except one (who is the opposite, whe will never play anything remotley resembling anything else she's played. IT's so predictable that I already know what kind of character concepts I will be dealing with no matter the campaign (i.e. one player will be a Ranger/Druid in D&D, an ex-military martial artist with an environmentalist streak in a modern game, a warrior from a wilderness planet in a sci-fi game, etc. While the rogue player is a jewel theif in the modern game, the hacker in a sci-fi game, and so on) It doesn't annoy me THAT much, but I find it amusing.
Illion the Red 07-22-05, 04:43 PM	All of my players are like that, except one (who is the opposite, whe will never play anything remotley resembling anything else she's played. IT's so predictable that I already know what kind of character concepts I will be dealing with no matter the campaign (i.e. one player will be a Ranger/Druid in D&D, an ex-military martial artist with an environmentalist streak in a modern game, a warrior from a wilderness planet in a sci-fi game, etc. While the rogue player is a jewel theif in the modern game, the hacker in a sci-fi game, and so on) It doesn't annoy me THAT much, but I find it amusing. Next time you go to start off anew again, describe the major NPCs as exactly what they would play and say, "These roles are already filled." Do this before anyone gets started on their character concepts. Give them a good fifteen minutes to mull it over before breaking into maniacal laughter, declaring "I just love you guys...you're so predictable. I was just kidding you know." Then duck as the barrage of dice follows...
Nyarlathotep 07-22-05, 04:48 PM	308. The character who obsesses over minutia. For example, she is talking to an inkeeper trying to find out if a halfling who got murdered was there the previous night. IN the course of the conversation the inkeeper mentions, offhandedly, having a brother. The player then wants to know how many siblings the inkeeper has? What are their names? What do they do? Who was that woman I saw you with last night? Are those your own teeth? etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Making what should be a 10 minute quickie encounter take 45 minutes. :mad:
Nyarlathotep 07-22-05, 04:53 PM	Next time you go to start off anew again, describe the major NPCs as exactly what they would play and say, "These roles are already filled." Do this before anyone gets started on their character concepts. Give them a good fifteen minutes to mull it over before breaking into maniacal laughter, declaring "I just love you guys...you're so predictable. I was just kidding you know." Then duck as the barrage of dice follows... I think I'll do that. Like I said, I find it more amusing than annoying, so I don't think its a problem to be solved or anything.
Earthbeard 07-22-05, 05:45 PM	309; The player who in a long story arc campaign who dies, rolls up a new character for next session who just so happens to be the Bane of said story arc, for example dragons is a dragon hunter, with everything maxed to it, than ponders why, he's told no. Ok fair enough, you like to tweek your character so he can combat said dragons but your whole charcter based on dragon hunting and stealing all the glory from other players, just sad really. 310; Said character, getting killed on purpose so he can do above. 311; damn fool who thinks becuase hes a nuetral elf, he can torture people without being evil, then sulks when rest of party try to stop him , ensuing in a fight and his defeat. 312; Boyfriends/girlfriends partners etc, always bf/gf partners in game never any variation always are and will be. 313; above said couple, obviosuly have love/hate relationship and always argue and hate each other, the opposite of constant lovers, just as annoying. 314; and last but not least, the party splitting into its cliques every single time, regardless of if the pcs would even get on, but the players are best buds etc, so even if totally implausible, they are still best buds in game (sigh), despite circumstances, race or class conflicts distrust or the fact one of their charcaters died, and re-rolled and has come back, first tiem they meet, there drinking ale into midnight hours. 315; oh yeah offshoot of 314, the players who dislike ech others play style and are adamant to never get on, nothing malicious, just barely speak a word to each other in game, or out of for that matter. 316; this is last one i swear, the player who always falls to sleep, within a hour of game starting every single time.
Kuronue 07-22-05, 05:55 PM	what number are we on? Oh right, 317 *ahem* The Story of Huan little backstory: I DM online, I have a thriving channel on IRC. This story dates back to the very ebginning, when I had only about 1 or 2 players and we were just getting the chars used to the world. Huan joins my channel mid-RP. Now, the scene in progress in the In-Character room is intense: the xenophobic mayor is interrogating some elves because he cna't bother to tell them apart to determine which one did the crime. Meanwhile we were chatting in the OOC room when Huan strolls in. Huan: Is this DnD-roleplay? Me: Yes it is, hi and welcome to Archipelago! Huan: Can I be a DM/Channel Op? but wait, it gets better! Me: eh.. why don't you roll up a char and we'll see how well you fit in with the staff here Huan: But I'm really good! Here, look, I'll demonstrate Meanwhile in the In-Character room, tension was really heating up. In my campaign, the gods are very removed from the world, almost like they abandoned it long ago (though divine spells still work, there's little to no sense of connection to any deity; we have cahracters worshipping table salt). Huan of course knew none of this, not even bothering to read the website before jumping in. Lasa(the elf): Oh Ehlonna, save me from this horrible fate! Huan (DMing): Lasa hears a voice say "Lasa, you have failed me!" Lasa: ((???)) She cries out, "How may I atone?!" Me: Ignore Huan Lasa: ((...I'm F-ING CONFUSED)) (some liberties taken, this is all by memory) So Huan, after MUCH talking to (I was desperate) reluctantly agrees to make a character, noting that "I dunno how much time I can spend being a player..." And Huan-the-char enters the town, in time to witness Lasa being hauled off to jail, along with all 4 other elves suspected, to be burned at the stake at dawn. His character immediatly goes to the jail and convinces the none-too-bright jailor that he's her lawyer and needs some time alone. Meanwhile, in a private mesage: Huan: can I rape people in your campaign? Me: I don't place limits on the morals of characters. Unless the rapee wants to play it out, when it's inevitable and she's failed her saves you can just say "he rapes her" or something back to the in character: Huan: He enters the jail cell where Lasa the Bard is sitting. He approaches her and, seeing that it is inevitable, rapes her. Me: Wait a minute, give her at least a post to react Lasa: I cast Lullebye by singing I, wanting to be rid of him, deemed that by sepcial DM involvement Huan passes out. Thus, Lasa the Bard was rescued by the almighty Huan! (later, during my co-DM 's shift, Huan was thrown in jail. The poor player never returned)
TheAwersome 07-22-05, 06:44 PM	One I forgot 318. Co-DMs. Never do they remember what you have planned, never are they accustomed to your gaming style, and will often royally destroy campaigns. When I first let someone Co-DM, they went off into some huge cinematic with a Glabrezeau killing Obad-hai. Note: Glabrezaeu CR 14. Obad-Hai is a very powerful god. It just doesn't work.
EvilDuck 07-22-05, 06:52 PM	1. Munchkins (powergamers) *cough*stereotyping*cough* 319. People who tell bad jokes. 320. People who play elves like dwarves. 321. People who just say "Screw the rules." 322. People who try to change the rules to better suit their character. 323. People who play the same character over and over and over, and they don't roleplay at all, and that character is always either a fighter or a soulknife, and all they ever say is, "I attack." 324. People who assume things. 325. People who spend the entire session getting into bar fights.
Bruunwald 07-22-05, 07:15 PM	This one's probably a bit more rare, but I'm sure it sounds familiar: 326. Players who argue a rule until it is explained clearly enough that they "get it," but then "innocently" ask the other players for "clarification," fishing for someone who backs them up. Case in point: Our munchkinning half-ogre barbarian. The player insists that Great Cleave allows him to take cleaves off of cleaves, ad infinitum. Much arguing later, he seems to accept what I'm telling him about the real way to play it. Enter a returning player in our game. Acting as if this was not a HUGE DEBATE that raged through telephone lines, over emails and held up more than one session, suddenly asks (with innocent, batting eyes), "What does Great Cleave do again?" Only he asks it in the direction of the returning player (who he KNEW had used the feat incorrectly himself, in the past). I interrupt because I can see immediately what is going on. Put on the slap down. Later, enter a new player (very savvy rules guy) and somehow the topic gets brought up again and in the same way. Lump this guy in with 327. Guy who asks the same question over and over in a leading way, hoping the DM will slip up and give it to him his way one of these times.
Nyarlathotep 07-22-05, 07:28 PM	328. Unbeleivable PC paranoia. I understand that the party has to face dangers beyond that of everyday people, but if your characters go to 7-11 is it really necessary to have a sniper covering the counter clerk from outside and another character to check the slurpee machine for explosive devices whilst a 3rd buys beef jerky and sodas? When the D&D characters get a room at an inn, is it really necessary to have the party's rogue check everyone's bed for traps? I mean really....
EvilDuck 07-22-05, 07:31 PM	Case in point: Our munchkinning half-ogre barbarian. The player insists that Great Cleave allows him to take cleaves off of cleaves, ad infinitum. Much arguing later, he seems to accept what I'm telling him about the real way to play it. He's right. That's how Great Cleave works. You can indeed Cleave ad infinitum with it. Cleave says "If you drop a creature, you may make an immediate attack against a creature adjacent to it." Great Cleave removes the limit of once per round. Thus, if your cleave attack drops a creature, then you get yet another cleave attack, and so on, and so forth. Great Cleave sucks anyways. The only things it works on are extremely weak. A fireball from a wizard is much more effective.
SilverSabre25 07-22-05, 07:42 PM	328. Unbeleivable PC paranoia. I understand that the party has to face dangers beyond that of everyday people, but if your characters go to 7-11 is it really necessary to have a sniper covering the counter clerk from outside and another character to check the slurpee machine for explosive devices whilst a 3rd buys beef jerky and sodas? When the D&D characters get a room at an inn, is it really necessary to have the party's rogue check everyone's bed for traps? I mean really.... Thank you! I am currently dealing with this in my game. I have one player who is just soooo overly paranoid that she stubbornly refuses to do anything in a straightforward manner, lying constantly even when it's dumb and unnecessary, and even when the NPC to whom she's lying already know full well she's lying because the other characters *told him so*. Anyway, let's see.... 329. Players who contradict the DM on a regular basis even after they've been proven wrong time and time again. 330. Last minute cancellations 331. Players who absolutely refuse to arrange their schedule to fit with everyone elses, and who then complain when they miss sessions. (Note: We all work retail jobs with fairly flexible schedules and everyone else manages to have sunday evenings off. He just refuses to.)
bakomusha 07-23-05, 04:53 AM	332. another smarta$$ type, the describer. pc:i slap a random person dm"what? pc: i take my hand and quikly.. dm:i know but why? 333. to many rick james b!tch jokes, or and chappelle show jokes, it got old after a while.
Kuronue 07-23-05, 11:42 AM	332. another smarta$$ type, the describer. pc:i slap a random person dm"what? pc: i take my hand and quikly.. dm:i know but why? 333. to many rick james b!tch jokes, or and chappelle show jokes, it got old after a while. along those lines: 334. Two words: "Yo momma" Terresque: I shall eat you for breakfast! Broodling: I'll eat yo MOMMA for breakfast! In bed! "Terry" proceeds to clobber PC
Vrykolas2k 07-23-05, 03:29 PM	335: The gripey woman and sycophantic man pairing at the game. 336: People who don't know what personal hygiene is. And if they do, they don't exercise any. 337: Creepy gamers who make other gamers uncomfortable.
Vrykolas2k 07-23-05, 03:32 PM	This one's probably a bit more rare, but I'm sure it sounds familiar: 326. Players who argue a rule until it is explained clearly enough that they "get it," but then "innocently" ask the other players for "clarification," fishing for someone who backs them up. Case in point: Our munchkinning half-ogre barbarian. The player insists that Great Cleave allows him to take cleaves off of cleaves, ad infinitum. Much arguing later, he seems to accept what I'm telling him about the real way to play it. Enter a returning player in our game. Acting as if this was not a HUGE DEBATE that raged through telephone lines, over emails and held up more than one session, suddenly asks (with innocent, batting eyes), "What does Great Cleave do again?" Only he asks it in the direction of the returning player (who he KNEW had used the feat incorrectly himself, in the past). I interrupt because I can see immediately what is going on. Put on the slap down. Later, enter a new player (very savvy rules guy) and somehow the topic gets brought up again and in the same way. Lump this guy in with 327. Guy who asks the same question over and over in a leading way, hoping the DM will slip up and give it to him his way one of these times. Erm... are you using a lot of weird house-rules that don't allow Feats to perform as they ought?
EvilDuck 07-23-05, 04:14 PM	Erm... are you using a lot of weird house-rules that don't allow Feats to perform as they ought? That's what I said. 338. Players who take crappy feats. 339. Players who then want to change characters because they're crappy.
Vrykolas2k 07-23-05, 04:21 PM	340: GMs who use weird rules or badly misinterpret existing rules, so that they screw up players who come to a normal game. I hate retraining players...
Kuronue 07-23-05, 04:41 PM	341. Players who know more about the game than you do. "Actually you can't do that.." "Shut up, I'm fudging rolls." 342. Players who forget to turn in new sheets. "Oh that hits, my attack is plus 7" "What? This says plus 5" "But I levelled!" "But I dno't have it so STFU n00b."
woodwalker 07-23-05, 05:16 PM	people who blame me, the dm, for a bad adventure, and they contributed to it by being stupid. i cant put the stuff that happened to me into words, but my friend ran an adventure and some morons got arested, because they were gambling, and stole some money. they were arrested, and i, a 2nd level scout broke them out singlehandedly.we were so off track, it was amazing. kudos to the dm, though. he kept it rolling like he planned for that to happen.
EvilDuck 07-23-05, 06:22 PM	341. Players who know more about the game than you do. "Actually you can't do that.." "Shut up, I'm fudging rolls." 342. Players who forget to turn in new sheets. "Oh that hits, my attack is plus 7" "What? This says plus 5" "But I levelled!" "But I dno't have it so STFU n00b." The problem seems to be more on your end. As the DM, you should be familiar enough with the rules, avoid having to fudge roles, and give your players the benefit of the doubt. And why do you make them give you their char sheet anyways? You seem distrustful of your players.
Kuronue 07-23-05, 06:28 PM	The problem seems to be more on your end. As the DM, you should be familiar enough with the rules, avoid having to fudge roles, and give your players the benefit of the doubt. And why do you make them give you their char sheet anyways? You seem distrustful of your players. Origionally because I have to both a) do secret rolls and b) plan an adventure keeping their stats in mind. But then they started pulling crap so that I never knew their stats and I've bneen forced to be a nazi about it or they'll suddanly get mysterious bonuses I had no idea of in advance. And as for fudged rolls, if something unexpected happens that wasn't supposed to happen, sometimes I have to fudge things to avoid killing them all. Such as mid-battle quickly reducing the stats of a foe due to one PC turning on his friends for no apparent reason; he and the bad guys together coulda wiped out the party in 3 hits since he was the strongest party member, so I had to adjust for his lack of presence. also have I mentioned I DM online? If I don't have their sheet I can't look over thier shoulders to see it. also at least one is in the habit of rerolling her stats over and over until she gets really luckily high rolls. Another is always pushing new classes on me that upon reflection are horrid for the campaign. Two others barely know what they're doing and need help making rolls and characters; the class-pusher usually levels everyone up so they don't even know their own stats. I need to assert more control over them, not less. Trust can come when they earn it.
TheAwersome 07-23-05, 07:31 PM	The problem seems to be more on your end. As the DM, you should be familiar enough with the rules, avoid having to fudge roles, and give your players the benefit of the doubt. And why do you make them give you their char sheet anyways? You seem distrustful of your players. k, a lot of players are like that. Almost 5 times a session I have to roll for my player because I hear them roll the dice, see their face frown, and they say "I got a...." *die rolls one more bit* "19!" As for character sheets, it's a good idea to have one, because many times players will mess up on math or something of the like. I've often had players with too many skill points, too much Attack Bonus, etc. In closing, so long, and thanks for all the fish.
Mortecareus 07-23-05, 08:22 PM	344 (ish) Having to name things. Cities, countries, kings and taverns - everything needs a name. Maybe some DMs like it, but I always hate having to name things 345 (probably), corrolary to 344 When the players strike up conversation with Random Background NPC #4, and you have to make up a name and personal details on the spot 346 Never getting a chance to be a player, because you are the only person you know who is willing/able to run a game 347 When the printer breaks down while printing your notes for the evening's game 348 Split Parties
Vrykolas2k 07-24-05, 03:43 PM	Origionally because I have to both a) do secret rolls and b) plan an adventure keeping their stats in mind. But then they started pulling crap so that I never knew their stats and I've bneen forced to be a nazi about it or they'll suddanly get mysterious bonuses I had no idea of in advance. And as for fudged rolls, if something unexpected happens that wasn't supposed to happen, sometimes I have to fudge things to avoid killing them all. Such as mid-battle quickly reducing the stats of a foe due to one PC turning on his friends for no apparent reason; he and the bad guys together coulda wiped out the party in 3 hits since he was the strongest party member, so I had to adjust for his lack of presence. also have I mentioned I DM online? If I don't have their sheet I can't look over thier shoulders to see it. also at least one is in the habit of rerolling her stats over and over until she gets really luckily high rolls. Another is always pushing new classes on me that upon reflection are horrid for the campaign. Two others barely know what they're doing and need help making rolls and characters; the class-pusher usually levels everyone up so they don't even know their own stats. I need to assert more control over them, not less. Trust can come when they earn it. Personally, I'd just kill their characters. That's the Cyberpunk way. Then find a better group. You can even PM me for starters, just don't fudge any rolls, good or bad... most people HATE that.
EvilDuck 07-24-05, 03:49 PM	Origionally because I have to both a) do secret rolls and b) plan an adventure keeping their stats in mind. But then they started pulling crap so that I never knew their stats and I've bneen forced to be a nazi about it or they'll suddanly get mysterious bonuses I had no idea of in advance. And as for fudged rolls, if something unexpected happens that wasn't supposed to happen, sometimes I have to fudge things to avoid killing them all. Such as mid-battle quickly reducing the stats of a foe due to one PC turning on his friends for no apparent reason; he and the bad guys together coulda wiped out the party in 3 hits since he was the strongest party member, so I had to adjust for his lack of presence. also have I mentioned I DM online? If I don't have their sheet I can't look over thier shoulders to see it. also at least one is in the habit of rerolling her stats over and over until she gets really luckily high rolls. Another is always pushing new classes on me that upon reflection are horrid for the campaign. Two others barely know what they're doing and need help making rolls and characters; the class-pusher usually levels everyone up so they don't even know their own stats. I need to assert more control over them, not less. Trust can come when they earn it. Oh, okay, I see where you're coming from. Sorry for the presumtuousness. 348 I can really sympathize with as a player. Party-splitting eventually got to the point where the DM might as well have been running two games.
Kuronue 07-24-05, 03:50 PM	Personally, I'd just kill their characters. That's the Cyberpunk way. Then find a better group. You can even PM me for starters, just don't fudge any rolls, good or bad... most people HATE that. Ok, so due to bad planning on my part the entire party should die? Smooth. I don't fudge everything, but if I suddanly realize the entire party is in jepordy I find ways to make sure at least one or two survive to get the others rezzed. I'm a fairly new DM, and only human- I mess up
Vrykolas2k 07-24-05, 03:56 PM	Ok, so due to bad planning on my part the entire party should die? Smooth. I don't fudge everything, but if I suddanly realize the entire party is in jepordy I find ways to make sure at least one or two survive to get the others rezzed. I'm a fairly new DM, and only human- I mess up Not for the poor planning on your part... for that, they should with-hold pizza in a table game... don't know what you could do about the online games. No, kill them for cheating. Stats need to stay the same, and people shouldn't just roll over and over until they get what they want. And... Just plan ahead of time a bit better. You have the characters, so just run them through a few encounters before you run for the group. I always have copies of the character sheets, though the players keep their own... for just that reason.
Kuronue 07-24-05, 04:04 PM	My response has been basically thus: the more they abuse the syustem and the level of trust, the more trust gets taken away, period. I inflict new stricter character creation laws every time they try and weasel around things like that. They kept forgetting to turn in their character levelup sheets? Well now they have to use a form on the wbesite that automatically submits. They keep rerolling their stats over adn voer? Now both coDMs have to triplecheck a sheet before approcing it for play, and if it seems at all fishy it's out, no questions asked. That way hopefully the other players won't contribute to the problem- it'll just bite them in the butt
DM-Vigilance 07-24-05, 10:49 PM	349: Forgetting the adventure notes at home. 350: Cell phones! Why has no one mentioned cell phones! 351: Not remembering where to find that one rule, the really important one 352: Tracking diseases/curses 353: Tracking the treasure the party never identified 354: Accidentally giving an NPC a really, really embarrassing name. (Won't go into the details...) 355: Forgetting what you were talking about while ad-libbing 356: Lame monsters (Note: Actually, I really like some lame monsters) 357: Player characters that can grapple well 358: The player that buys every supplement you own, so he/she/it won't be surprised 359: Table-flipping 360: Coming off a caffeine high
bakomusha 07-25-05, 12:55 AM	361: when thats no players within any resonable distance from your house(im talkin 50-60 miles!!) 362: when your family says thay will but for the past 7 mounths has been giving you lame resons why not to play. i so whant to play a real game , im like an addick jonsen for a fix.
Dalar Ragnos 07-25-05, 01:50 AM	363. Half-orc barbarians with 20 Str at level 1, wielding spiked chains as soon as they can afford one... :yuck: 364. Spiked chains, period. 365. It's already been said, but bears repeating; the guy who thinks that a 12 on a particular stat = weak/clumsy/wimpy/dumb/blind/socially inept. 366. The folks who :censored: and complain when NPCs display perfectly normal racial predjudices. You know, the type that wonders why their Half-orc isn't so popular in the Dwarven capital... 367. Players who think Charisma = dump stat.
EvilDuck 07-25-05, 04:35 AM	363. Half-orc barbarians with 20 Str at level 1, wielding spiked chains as soon as they can afford one... :yuck: 364. Spiked chains, period 367. Players who think Charisma = dump stat. - So you're suggesting the half-orc barbarian not use that 18 he rolled for Str? - What's wrong with spiked chains? - That 8 has to go somewhere, and as CHA is the one that is least important on average, that's where it goes. What would you suggest as a dump stat?
Tiruvel 07-25-05, 06:02 AM	Don't know if it's already been mentioned but... 368: Lack of time.... I wanna play more! 369: When I give crappy rule-judgements... :embarrass
High King Tigernmas 07-25-05, 07:25 AM	370. Players cancelling last moment because they have guests... 371. Players phoning me in the morning and waking me up from a dream about some particularly friendly Cosplay girlies. 372. The phone call being, 'I can't come'. 373. Players who think you must level up each mission. 374. Players who phone to tell me, 'I've lost my character sheets'.
Angrymartian 07-25-05, 08:51 AM	375. Girlfriends who interpret D&D as another opportunity for quality time with their loved one. If you are not there to roleplay then please go away, and no, building dice-castles IS NOT ROLEPLAYING! 376. Spectators: I hate having a non-playing audience. 377. Playing at hip-hop fans houses; there is simply no worse music to play D&D to (and for that matter, no worse music ;) ) 378. Ignorant parents that think you've invited their son/daughter to join you at some kind of satanist cult gathering... it happens, I am know to one friends mother as 'head dragon', and not in a nice way either :devil: 379. Munchkin gamers that are never satisfied with their PC's starting abilities. 380. Stoopid players who constantly ask 'is this the right one' when referring to dice they have been asked to roll, it's really not that hard guys!
High King Tigernmas 07-25-05, 10:01 AM	381. Not being able to play
PHDrillSergeant 07-25-05, 11:23 AM	382. People who don't know what their skills are for. DM: The elf female ranger loks at you suspiciously. Player: Can I "appraise" her? DM: ... 383. Paladins who have no idea what the hell they're supposed to be doing. 384. Females who want to play seductresses. 385. Males who want to play female seductresses. 386. Males who want to play transexual seductresses. (Yes, it has happened before.) 387. Players who do secret things and come up with mysterious subplots behind your back and try to fit them into the game without telling you. 388. People who don't know what "2d8+3" means. 389. People who 'give' themselves powerful items. 390. people who sleep during the session.
Vrykolas2k 07-25-05, 12:22 PM	370. Players cancelling last moment because they have guests... 371. Players phoning me in the morning and waking me up from a dream about some particularly friendly Cosplay girlies. 372. The phone call being, 'I can't come'. 373. Players who think you must level up each mission. 374. Players who phone to tell me, 'I've lost my character sheets'. Hey, just be grateful they bother to call when they're nae going to be there.
Kuronue 07-25-05, 12:26 PM	[QUOTE=High King Tigernmas 374. Players who phone to tell me, 'I've lost my character sheets'.[/QUOTE] which is another reason I keep a copy, electronic, in a gmail inbox, filed using appropriate filters so in about 2 seconds I can pull it up and forward it back to them.
EnigmaRPG 07-25-05, 01:22 PM	[QUOTE=Angrymartian] 378. Ignorant parents that think you've invited their son/daughter to join you at some kind of satanist cult gathering... it happens, I am know to one friends mother as 'head dragon', and not in a nice way either :devil: :ayyyy!: My friend's mom still has no clue that we arn't reading the bible.
EvilDuck 07-25-05, 02:38 PM	379. Munchkin gamers that are never satisfied with their PC's starting abilities. That's a good thing. It means that they'll want to play more so they can get better abilities. 391. People who expect me to read their badly-written, three-page-long character backstories. 392. Elves who want revenge against orcs who killed their parents at a young age.
masterofmayhem 07-25-05, 07:27 PM	393) Players who purposely derail a campaign . . . 394) Players who play the same character over and over again . . . 395) Players who play a different alignment/class/race/whatever, but always roleplay exactly the same. Yes, I think those have been said, but they annoy me so . . . Heh.
Radijs 07-25-05, 07:39 PM	393) Players who purposely derail a campaign . . . UCH tell me about it. I had a scenario set up where players where supposed to negotiate their way to some stolen goods through various middlemen. They find the storehouse where the goods where stored a few days before. The ranger says: Ah I'll track them down using my track skill. Oh and since im not being threatened I'll take 20. Me: Okay you spend the next three weeks following the trail. By the time you find the place all the goods have been sold on the black market.
Serielle 07-25-05, 10:12 PM	396. Campaigns that end before they even begin. *explains to PCs the town they're starting in* Half-Orc: (with an intelligence of 6). Is there a tavern anywhere? DM: Yes. The tavern is busy at this time of day, and as you enter you see that it's quite crowded, there's a group of elves discussing something loudly at one table, a peasent playing darts...etc, etc Half-Orc: I throw a dart at the peasent. DM: *sigh* Roll to attack. Half-Orc: 20! DM: *blink.* You hit the peasent in the eye. He screams for help, the town guards are now after you. Suprisingly, with some incredible luck with rolls and a few criticals, he managed to put down three level 3 npc fighters before he went down- and he's a level 1 barbarian. In another campaign, we had a wizard who likes to refer to himself in the third person. The druid found this annoying, and so not even ten minutes into the game, she decides to stab him in the back. We started at level 1, so he died on the first hit. That's the last time I've openly told players they can have some player versus player intrigue if you want before actually getting an idea of whether the players are likely to go nuts and kill each other at the first opportunity. 397. Having to make up names for Npcs. I've resorted to printing out a page or two from a random name generator online and bringing it with me to sessions. 398. Improvising gone wrong- I ended up giving my PCs a ton of money accidently when I didn't take into account exchange rates for the currencies I made up. Oops. The powergamer of the group went wild, and since we were playing a high magic world where you use magic items when you're out of toilet paper, I couldn't deny him what he wanted to buy. Fortunatly enough he's a reasonable player, and we agreed on a more reasonable amount of money the party ended up with out of game. 399. Spectators, who know nothing of the game, but insist on commenting on how I'm running the game. Players that don't realize how geeky they sound to the outside world when they vehemently correcting said spectator's ignorance on game mechanics.
da beast 07-26-05, 01:08 AM	370. Players cancelling last moment because they have guests... 371. Players phoning me in the morning and waking me up from a dream about some particularly friendly Cosplay girlies. 372. The phone call being, 'I can't come'. My god... You have scarred me... For the rest of my life... I hope I die young :eek: :OMG! :twitch:
High King Tigernmas 07-26-05, 06:03 AM	My god... You have scarred me... For the rest of my life... I hope I die young :eek: :OMG! :twitch: Its only natural :evillaugh Look at this (http://www.tinypic.com/view/?pic=9gknkg) and I think you'll agree with me ;) Anyway, back on topic... 400. Players who don't like my explanation of why their character is missing whilst they're on holiday... 'Right, so you're the mind slave of a genius loci' 'Why can't I have been called to the north of the world where my people live to fight off an incursion of semi-deific creatures?' 'Because thats a cliched piece of ****, do you know how hard I worked to fit your holiday into this? You guys don't appreciate me! :( '
UndeadMouse 09-03-05, 11:06 AM	401: Droppers. people who drop thier stuff, especially dice, food, and character sheets. the only way to deal with droppers is to use the Jumanji Rule (Jumanji Rule: if you pick the dice up you are going to roll them. if you drop them it counts as rolling, and if you put them down it counts as cheating {i.e. the next roll they make automatically fails}) 402: "The last DM I had did (action) this way..." DM: the adult red dragon breathes flame onto you. make a reflex save. player: but the last DM I had made me make a Fort save. DM: am I the last DM? :noway: no. make a reflex save player: :confused: but, but, but... DM: because you are refusing to make your save, I will save for you. [roll] you got a 15, which fails and you take [roll, roll, roll] 27 points of damage, which kills you. player: :bigeyes: :censored: :censored: :censored: :headexplo :tantrum:
Silais 09-22-05, 04:48 AM	403. Players whom refuse to understand that my job as a DM is to make a world that exists solely to kill, betray, horiffy and otherwise **** them off (can I say that?). 404. Other DMs in your gaming group
The_Elder 09-22-05, 05:36 AM	404. Other DMs in your gaming group can I second that 405. players with other DM's that monty hall it. The:dice:Elder
Flushpuppie 09-22-05, 05:40 AM	the My-d20-lay-half-on-15-half-on-4-players. don't you think it's weird that when a die roll ends up on two sides at once, the players only nag about it when it's a low roll. you'll never hear the players whine when it's half on 15/half on 19.
Flushpuppie 09-22-05, 05:44 AM	players who grow angry when they find a magic item that doesn't fit in with their powergame chracter. (player) A HANDCROSSBOW???!?!?! WHAT THE F*CK DO I HAVE TO DO WITH A HANDCROSSBOW WITHOUT THE EXOTIC WEAPON FEAT!!!. (me) you could take craft poison and poison your foes? (player) WITH A MINUS 3 PENALTY??? NO WAY MAN THIS SUCKS MAN (me) but don't your BAB and dex count? (player) AN ATTACK ROLL OF +7 NO WAY MAN I CANT KILL ANYONE WITH THIS (me) THEN SCREW YOU WITH YOUR CHILDISH POWERGAMER MENTALITY!
Sjay1 09-22-05, 09:25 AM	375. Girlfriends who interpret D&D as another opportunity for quality time with their loved one. If you are not there to roleplay then please go away, and no, building dice-castles IS NOT ROLEPLAYING! 378. Ignorant parents that think you've invited their son/daughter to join you at some kind of satanist cult gathering... it happens, I am know to one friends mother as 'head dragon', and not in a nice way either :devil: haha 1st one..tell MY players that..PLEASE... 2nd. WHUAHAUHA omg..lmao :rolf: #406 Powergamer-hate-ers, hating them just to hate them...* *do you Still get it?