Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Riznar 06-09-04, 03:28 PM	1. 2846 Counts of Reckless Endangerment 2. Keeping a dinosaur without a license within city limits.
St. Maelstrom 06-09-04, 03:41 PM	3. Unlawful use of Daern's Instant fortress within the city limits. 3a. Using Daern's Instant fortress as a demolition instrument (without permit or proper zoning.) 3b. Using Daern's Instant fortress as an inn/brothel/pub/casino/temple (without permit or proper zoning.)
Miles Vorkosigan 06-09-04, 06:23 PM	4. Destruction of endangered species of dragons on designated natural preserves. 5. Failure to put down "Large glowing swords" in a listing of income.
Carkni 06-09-04, 08:31 PM	6. Public Indecencey. (Sadly, yes.)
Zar Niln 06-09-04, 08:49 PM	6. Public Drunkeness* 7. Insulting a cleric/high ranking official* 8. Not purchasing your City Destruction permit and still launching a fireball down a crowded market 9. Keeping a runt chimera in the basement of an inn** 10. Trying to assassinate the mayor* 11. Trying to assassinate the mayor's secretary* 12. Wearing the skull of a dear as a headress* 13. Wearing the skulls of your human enemies openly in public* *Done by the barbarian in my signature. Luckily, he started his on country, Furibaine, based around a castle with a cluster of portals **Done by another illicit character of mine
Lord_BloodMoon 06-09-04, 09:07 PM	14. Hitting on every female in town 15. Raising the dead from the town cemetary 16. Bringing an unleashed/chained menagerie into town (druids) 17. Digging giant pits in the middle of town, insisting that a lost relic is buried beneath the town.
Yruc 06-09-04, 09:26 PM	18. Stealing the DM's food/drinks 19. Hitting on the DM's girlfriend/boyfriend
Oberon_of_Avalon 06-09-04, 10:01 PM	20. Poaching Tarrasque inside the country limits
CodeZero 06-09-04, 10:10 PM	21) Analyzing the queen's dweomer without a proper medical certification
Sparks The untouchable 06-10-04, 12:19 AM	22 attempting to to conquer the town. 23 attacking the town guard. 24 hitting on the town guard 25 eating the town guard (that one actually happened) 26 bribing the town guard 27 impersonating the town guard 28 poymorphing the town guard 29 disentrating the town guard 30 burring the libary (that one happened to) 31 attacking the town cleric 32 placing the town's cleric under citezens arrest for telling the party to sawd off. (that one happened to)
Yruc 06-10-04, 01:32 AM	33. Someone who can't count. (points up)
Choronis 06-10-04, 02:06 AM	24: See what was supposed to be 23 *cough* Yruc can't count! */cough* 25: Disguising yourself as a priest of *insert random Deity* to steal their prized crown for money. 26: Murdering prostitutes 27. Casting Insect Swarm repeatedly in a public place.
Sarta 06-10-04, 02:49 AM	(started counting where we should have left off, not counting the above number 33 since it didn't have any info.) 37. Samurai was arrested for practicing demonology after tossing a chicken against a warded wizard's tower causing the chicken to take 12d6 electrical damage and explode. He did this in full daylight in front of guards after purchasing the chicken from a guard. He was only accused of demonology because my character (in order to win a bar bet) had leaked information to the guards as the chicken was being tossed that he was attempting to summon a demon. The samurai defended himself by claiming he was merely attempting to commit breaking and entering and was promptly found guilty of this and heavily fined. 38. Burning down half the town in order to "cause a distraction" in order to rob a pawn shop. Sarta
Myst 06-10-04, 03:29 AM	30. selling magical healing without a license 31. casting spells within city limits without a permit 32. wearing armor within city limits without a permit 33. insulting the baron without justification 34. convincing the bartender that they paid for their stay in advance, and demanding compensation for the supposed insult of being asked to pay, even when caught sneaking out the back 35. carrying a concealed weapon without a license (even though every other 2cp rogue in the town has one & doesnt get fined) 36. making excess noise at night due to jingling/clanking armor
Temmogen 06-10-04, 08:47 AM	37. Swinging a Paladin without a permit. 38. Hitting a dragon with said paladin, without permission from the church. 39. Keeping an exotic pet(dragon) within town limits, without the proper permit.
Findail 06-10-04, 09:24 AM	4 eating the town guard (that one actually happened) Hey, I had an ogre fighter once who did something similar! "Eating an agent of the Crown" (no Speak with Dead on HIM) The DM also accused him of chopping an innkeeper in half, but that was a misunderstanding (he chopped the INN in half, with a greataxe).
Kolo 06-10-04, 10:28 AM	40. taking the law into one's own hands (vigilantes, anyone?) 41. unlawful mooning of high court officials 42. causing-and averting- an invasion of giant bees 43. breaking, entering and firebombing an establishment to the moon and back 44. causing a harbor to close off, turning a bustling seaport city into a landlocked farming hub 45. CREATING a harbor that leads to sea far inland, turning a farming hub into a harbor city 46. Both of the above at once (and THAT is why angering primal water elementals AND earth elementals at the same time is not a good idea, gentlemen.) 47. unlawful and repeated kicking of cats in Cormyr (only a CN rogue with a severe authority problem...:rolleyes: ) 48. Unseemly corruption of paladins 49. awakening of elder gods within world limits 50. resisting arrest with fireballs
ajmastrean 06-10-04, 01:38 PM	51. casting daylight and flamestrike on oneself (NG cleric of lathandar) to inspire courage in the city militia 52. throwing friends through the wall of the inn because he bet me I couldn't
Mantel_DeMenglamaar 06-10-04, 02:00 PM	53.) Violating the laws of time and space through the use of plane shift, time stop and the like. 54.) Violating legal limits for the weighing down of livestock, by making your NPC hireling carry that *****ing golden idol you found back in that temple. 55.) Numerous Violations of all of the fashion laws. 56.) Using your apartatus of Kwalesh to 'liberate' the lobsters at the fish stand in vague hopes they'll worship you as a god. 57.) Violation of local zoning permits for putting a 500 level wizard tower in the area of the town specifically put aside for cobblers. 58.) Violation of union labor laws of the aformentioned cobblers by the wizard when he makes magical shoes without union approval.
bclark_ca 06-10-04, 02:22 PM	59. Fulfilling your god's demands to "make all orcs good orcs" by attacking two orcs in an eatery - while they're trying to enjoy supper. "The only good orc is a dead orc my son. Go forth, and make all orcs good orcs."
Lincoln Hills 06-10-04, 02:57 PM	60. (Related to 3. above) Selling Leomund's secure shelters to locals... without mentioning the limited spell duration. 61. Entering the precincts of the city while being pursued by a creature or creatures inimicable to the health and welfare of the residents. (This one comes in a range from Severity 10, for giant ants, to Severity 1, for Asmodeus.) Often linked with 16., above. 62. Fleeing the precincts of the city, after having lured into it a c. or cs. i. to the h. and w. of the r. 63. Improper care and containment of beasts of burden (usually preceded by loud and repeated insistence that a mule, riding dog or other beast of burden is "one of the party", followed by an attempt to rent a room for said creature.) 64. Preparation of food products in a public place, using unsafe methods. (See 37. above - also refers to efforts to use flaming sphere as a sort of E-Z-Bake Oven.) 65. Knowing sale of accursed or unsafe magical items without full disclosure to the purchaser and/or informing the town elders of the transaction. 66. Ride-by hackings. 67. Improper disposal of alchemical waste or failed alchemical products. (This includes, quote, "I huck that cauldron.")
Myst 06-10-04, 03:17 PM	68. selling goods created by the rod of splendor, then fleeing in the night before the duration wears off 69. violating various guild laws through the use of fabricate and numerous craft skills 70. polymorphing the captain of the town guard into a richard simmons lookalike, and casting Otto's Irresitable Dance upon him to make it 'more realistic' 71. nonchalantly tossing gold pieces that have explosive runes inscribed on them to beggars
Deluxe 247 G 06-10-04, 03:20 PM	68. Killing the town guards in oder to 'Get to the badguys' without a permit. 69. Smashing the floor of the inn in order to 'Get to the badguys' without a permit. 70. Killing one's mount in anger of the person without a permit. 71. Slaugtering innocent peasants in the street to 'Get more Kizzilz for the competition' without a permit. Long story. 72. Giving head to a store owner to reduce the price of magical items without a permit. 73. Questing to the pyramids and then *****ing that you want to be in the forest without a permit. 74. Running illegal gladitorial pits without a permit. 75. Doing anything without a permit.
Deluxe 247 G 06-10-04, 03:21 PM	79. Posting without refreshing without a permit.
Lord Lorac Silvanos 06-10-04, 03:47 PM	81. Posting without refreshing and then not being able to count without a permit :D
varder_kiften 06-10-04, 05:00 PM	82) Killing an innocent bystander with an arrow while trying to hit the creep who stole your gold pouch. 83) Accidentaly causing a cave in while exploring the ancient ruins located just under the town. 84) Demanding a ransom after saving the damsel in distress. 85) Using sleight of hand to try an steal the large golden statue in the busy metropolis square unseen, twice!!! 86) Making a habit of sacrificing homeless people before you go out on an adventure in order to get the bonuses. 87) Killing the town guard because they wanted you to leave your hippogriff familiar outside of town. 88) Killing the town mayor because he wears black and has shifty eyes.
Jhalad 06-10-04, 05:10 PM	89) Leaving the extremely depressed 1/2 orc barbarian by himself on the steps of the city's major temple with a knife and the penchant to let everybody else know who's god is the greatest god (my barbarian carved "Kord rules" EVERYWHERE).....
Myst 06-10-04, 05:30 PM	90. getting caught "smuggling" in legal goods/items with portable holes/bags of holding 91. causing the destruction of a plane without a license 92. drinking out of the holy water fountain in the temple of pelor 93. peeing in the holy water fountain in the temple of pelor 94. starting bar fights without permission 95. attempted dragon genocide 96. correcting the king's grammar
Mordmorgan the Mad 06-10-04, 05:53 PM	97. Defecating in the town water supply in order to cause a mass outbreak of hepatitis and profit from the ensuing demands for Remove Disease. (This was done by a halfwit barbarian with a cleric held hostage).
Black Kitten 06-10-04, 06:08 PM	98 - Burning down 200 acres of grassland without a permit. 99 - Double parking of a zeppelin 100 - Standing on top of a roof without the owner's permission
thalious 06-10-04, 06:08 PM	101. Crimes against Monstrosities instead of Humanity.
K.O.E.G 06-10-04, 09:37 PM	102(101 hah!). Using Time stop to vandalize pictures of past kings(Devil horns, Fu Man Chu, and Goatee) during tour of castle
Trillia 06-11-04, 08:33 AM	103. Climbing through a 2nd storey window leading into the residence of a recently murdered VIP in broad daylight in the middle of the country's capital city in full armour and battle gear. 104. Climbing out again and repeating 103, carrying a sledgehammer.
Ambli Ironcutter 06-11-04, 01:43 PM	105. While touring a temple, robbing it's armoury blind. 106. Making peace with the Goblins instead of destroying them. 107. Rebellion against the town leaders. 108. Saying to the king, "Hey, aren't you Elvis?" (It's Bad, I know) 109. Summoning a Demonic Army without proper permits. 110. Destroying the Entire Material Plane without a permit. 111. 'Nailing' the entire population of a territory 'to the sky' 112. Randomly polymorphing towns people into sheep, and then selling the sheep to a butcher. (That would be Chaotic Evil)
Moonstonedragon 06-11-04, 09:59 PM	Hummm, what did my char get arrested for this week 113. Not roping a nightmare against a post while in tavern 114. Betting a bartender that his business will tenfold if he gives me half his profits, then gonig out that night and burning all the other taverns. 115. Slapping the queen when she says your name wrong. 116. Breaking out of prison by making your nightmare kill all the guards and finding the keys. 117. Sleeping with the princess right after breaking out of jail. 118. Waking up next to princess with king and ten guards surrounding bed and you saying shes a s*** and made you do it. man i dont know how im getting out of prison this time
Pongolyn 06-11-04, 10:11 PM	112. Randomly polymorphing towns people into sheep, and then selling the sheep to a butcher. (That would be Chaotic Evil) If they did it deliberately would they be Lawful Evil? :smirk:
Board_Rider 06-12-04, 01:05 AM	(119?) Summoning up all the "mounts" (1st lvl spell) that you can, selling them, leaving, come back "altered" and say you'll "risk" yourself, for the right price, and find those who stole the recently bought mounts. Good if done quickly before the stableboy knows what happened. (120?) Use a hat of disguise to murder the mayor as a certain person and then use it again to get paid to find the assasin. I have seen the first and done the second.
Phist 06-12-04, 12:10 PM	121) Using flasks of oil to set fire to a farmer's house because he wouldn't let you in 122) Arrowing the daughter in the back when she tried to get water 123) Fly-by hackings
Tevish Szat 06-12-04, 03:42 PM	124: Public sermonizing without a permit. 125: Wanton overthrow of legitimate authority. 126: Extramarital affairs with every comley female in a five mile radius.
Grondax 06-12-04, 05:23 PM	127: Chase a drunk Gnome around the city trying to get information from him, because he looks 'suspicious'. You chase him with weapons drawn, and in the middle of the night. Then when you finally catch the Gnome and find out that he doesn't know anything you take all his worldly possessions then light him ablaze. It turned out that he was the towns governor.
Pikel_Bouldershoulder 06-12-04, 06:04 PM	128. Making all of the Paladins of the local Temple of Helm ex-Paladins by Moving Silently into their rooms at night and slipping an Evil God's symbol under their pillows. 129. Suspisciously walking round town in full armour and equipment asking evry villager they come to if "The King is alright lately..." and if "He needs any...help...". 130. Selling the deeds to another PC's next level skill points on the black market.
Bewildered 06-12-04, 11:33 PM	131 :trash talkin to the local heroes and then stalking them back to their mansion and knocking on the door for 5 minutes then yelling at them some more and then wait till night fall and climb three stories up and when the sorceress looks out the window send a fighter flying thru the window and kicking her in the chest then getting hold person casted on the window crasher and when the spell wears off act like its still on so when the town guards are arresting u, u spin around and bull rush the elder guard out the window along with u and landing spiked armor first on the guard and killing him and then running back to town and cursing out the head cleric for giving u false information WHOOO!
Uratoh 06-12-04, 11:52 PM	132: Illigal use of the Fly/Invisibility spell combination. (Hey, theyre bound to pass ordinances eventually)
howlingwolf 06-13-04, 11:34 AM	Why ignore the obvious! Boost those numbers! 133 - Looting 134 - Descration of a historical site 135 - Attempted murder ( Damn you d20 making me miss my attack roll... ) 136 - Illegal use of the charm magic school. ( Read under, 'Charming every merchant in town for free gear' ) 137 - Frightening the town guard into submission by saying, 'Boo' in their general direction. ( Which Warrior 1 is REALLY going to try and arrest the Fighter16/Mage6/Crazykiller5? ) 138 - Diverting the town guard by casting Charm person and insisting they aren't the heroes they are looking for. 139 - Excessive use of force. Re: The wizard 20's use of a Maximised, quickened fireball. Three times. On a goblin. With a bum leg and glasses.
Kolo 06-13-04, 01:20 PM	140. Illegal use of illusion spells in counterfeiting. (Watering down the currency bu paying with illusory gold is, unfortunately, a severely punished crime... :( ) 141. Random slaughter of beings that detect uinder the "detect evil" spell. (Paladins, this is a CRIME, so don't.) 142. Firebombing and/or egging the king. (only PC's, man...)
Deviled Ed 06-13-04, 06:06 PM	143. Everyone in the group is of a non-good alignment In one of my games, the players weren't getting along very well so I told them to make up new characters. Everyone (of their own accord) decided to be a non-good alignment because they felt that being good and/or lawful was too restrictive... Good aligned Player: "What do you mean I can't torture this prisoner!!!" DM: You haven't proven he's done anything wrong. player: "But if I torture him he'll tell me if he has!" and such.... They all thought that being straight neutral (and one was neutral evil) that they could get away with anything they wanted. So.... to begin their game I let them make up 9th level characters, buy the requisite starting equipment, then told them that they all started in jail so rip up your character's property sheets. The knights of heironeous just decided to imprison them because they cast detect good and it came up negative, and most of their back stories were shady enough to justify it. The druid and the ranger I ruled as just being in the wrong place at the wrong time (though less hokey). Remember when you're neutral you have no friends... Evil people will kill you, good people won't trust you, and neutral people are.... neutral.
Richmud 06-13-04, 11:03 PM	Originally posted by Deviled Ed Remember when you're neutral you have no friends... Evil people will kill you, good people won't trust you, and neutral people are.... neutral. [/B] I disagree with that. Lawful neutrals have other lawfuls, chaotic neutrals have other chaotics..well sort of. Even true neutral people do have each other, especially if they run along the lines of preserving balance neutral 144. Copyright infringment (actually thats more the players isn't it) 145. Carrying a concealed familiar
Myst 06-13-04, 11:11 PM	146.- selling magic wands/staves/scrolls/etc. without proper warning labels (kinda like McDonalds) 147. exploring dungeons without proper paperwork & permits
Hrafnaugr the Wordplainer 06-14-04, 03:10 AM	148. Unlawful non-magical breaking of the laws of physics. 149. Unlawful lopping off of extremities. 150. Unlawful use of of a towel as a weapon. 151. Really bad, egocentric singing. 152. Attempted suicide (on accident, of course. Best not to mix every drink in a wizards' bar and inbibe the results). 153. Paying debts in Drow currency. 154. Paying debts in severed monster parts (honest, the resale value on these things is huge!) 155. Killing those whom they owe money, because they need it for magical stuff. 156. excessive use of hold person. 157. Tossing halflings and/or gnomes. 158. Flooding the local economy with 10,000 gold pieces. 159. Burning the river. 160. Bathing in *Deity's Name Here*'s holy water. 161. Attempting to start a socialist revolution.
Dragon Rider 06-14-04, 04:59 PM	162. Asking town guard where theives' guild is:banghead:
kclawhammer 06-14-04, 09:11 PM	sorry about this
kclawhammer 06-14-04, 09:11 PM	and this :rolleyes:
kclawhammer 06-14-04, 09:13 PM	163: Anihilation of Local Forest by Fire without Proper Logging Permit 164: Transportation of Deceased Bodies 165: Activation of Dispel Magic upon Floating Tower above City
Ruke 06-15-04, 04:34 AM	166: Sending Fire Traps through the mail.
Pikel_Bouldershoulder 06-15-04, 07:53 AM	167. Not having Ox Wagon Insurance. 168. Unlicensed appraisals. 169. Backstabbing a dog. 170. Djinni in a magical lamp hijinks in the town square.
JoshRodriguez 06-15-04, 08:25 AM	PC's can get into all kinds of trouble. 171) Willful destruction of ancient civilizations 172) Constant reckless endangerment of everything within 20 miles. 173) Malicious firing of gnomes from seige engines into public buildings 174) Arson. So much arson. 175) False advertising (Your new surgical procedure "Stabbenburn" isn't a cure for anything) 176) Medical Malpractice (see above) 177) Grand Theft Dimension 178) Forming a Disorganized Crime Syndicate 179) Breaking and Redecorating (no, seriously) My players lacked tact, morals, and attention spans.
Scaer_Vieliss 06-25-04, 10:18 AM	180. Trying to start a fight in a respectable inn in order to try out a new mass-destruction spell, then attempting to tell the guards it was all part of a new improv street drama group formed just then. ( My wizard char tried this; the city guard popped up right after he shoved open the door and stood there with a fireball in his hand, waiting to be used. Needless to say, his bluffing didn't work too well).
Rasbedian 06-25-04, 01:43 PM	181: Replacing a local tavern’s ale supplies with love potions. 182: Eating the paladin’s mount. 183: Doing a drive-by with a wagon and a repeating crossbow. 184: Hunting without a hunting permit… with fireballs… within city limits… of orphans.
Adrez Nesnsid 06-25-04, 02:15 PM	:rofl:This thread is HILARIOUS!!!!:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Myst 06-25-04, 03:03 PM	Originally posted by Adrez Nesnsid :rofl:This thread is HILARIOUS!!!!:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: why thank you, on behalf of all who has participated in this thread oh yeah, and which are your favorites? -------------------------------------------------------- 185. trapping an entire village in an extradimensional space, by use of a "Stupid Commoner Trap". 186. eating a town out of house(s) & home(s). 187. making people catch themselves on fire using the spell command (the command is "immolate") without permission of the local cleric temple.
SnowbearK 06-25-04, 04:55 PM	188 (or whatever). Illegal useage of a magical item for the express purpose of voyeurism. 189. "Becoming one with yourself" in public. 190. Immortalizing the King in a ballad...with a sheep. 191. Repeatedly using the phrase "Now we see the violence inherent in the system" before a magistrate. 192. Failure to use a pooper-scooper while walking your pet Dire Bear.
enailis 06-25-04, 05:56 PM	193. killing a dragon in a no dragon killing zone
thalious 06-25-04, 10:37 PM	Originally posted by Tevish Szat 126: Extramarital affairs with every comley female in a five mile radius. I think more than adventurers could fall foul of this one.
Nym Fiddly 06-27-04, 12:41 AM	194) Indecent acts with a unicorn. In the town square. 195) Indecent acts with a minotaur. 196) Indecent acts with the Duke's hounds. 197) Indecent acts with a horse. In front of a group of young children. 198) Throwing a house at the mayor. 199) Cannibalizing a farmer and then commiting indecent acts with his plow mule. And the chickens. Then eating the chickens. 200) Hunting elves for sport. 201) Mass sacrifice of orphans. 202) Rampant Cannibalism. 203) Deicide. 204) Mass Deicide.
Drasche 06-27-04, 01:51 AM	Originally posted by JoshRodriguez PC's can get into all kinds of trouble. 171) Willful destruction of ancient civilizations 172) Constant reckless endangerment of everything within 20 miles. 173) Malicious firing of gnomes from seige engines into public buildings 174) Arson. So much arson. 175) False advertising (Your new surgical procedure "Stabbenburn" isn't a cure for anything) 176) Medical Malpractice (see above) 177) Grand Theft Dimension 178) Forming a Disorganized Crime Syndicate 179) Breaking and Redecorating (no, seriously) My players lacked tact, morals, and attention spans. :rofl: Oh, I hurt from laughing. 205) Breaking into the Dockmaster's office, whose front walls are comprised completely of glass, in broad daylight, instead of taking the extra 10 or so minutes to walk up the road and meet him. Mine have zero tact as well. The Dockmaster was at least kind enough to not have them thrown in jail the first time around. Hopefully they've learned their lesson. 206) Posing nude with a statue of Wee Jas while someone paints the portrait. 207) Overuse of creatures one size catagory larger than your own carrying you around on their shoulders. (E.g. a halfling on the shoulders of a really tall half-elf) 208) Enslaving entire races that your country of residency is on good terms with. 209) Impersonating an ambidextrous, good-aligned Drow. 210) Cornering the market on child labor.
Arakano 06-27-04, 09:59 AM	211) Dropping pants in front of the mightiest elven lord on the continent... :rolleyes: 212) Annoying the DM :angel: 213) Beating a beggar till he´s dead, continue beating till he´s completely disfigured, then raising him as zombie and trying to convince the passing guard that "nothing´s wrong, my friend and me are just playing. Right?" "RIGHT, MASTER!" :sad:
Selkie_Guardian 06-27-04, 11:25 AM	214) Grappeling your foes, smashing there heads into a wall, rubbing them up and down and then writing on the wall with the remnets of there heads: "Sharess protects all, except the poor loser i'm using as a pen". (rakustra cleric) 215) Jumping on, and grappeling a bard who is providing the entertainment for your freinds weeding because you suspect her of beeing involved in a string of reacent dissaperences. (moon elf telepath) 216) Ripping of the roof of the town hall and stealing the cake from your freinds, freinds wedding. (force wyermling) 217) Assaulting evil temples withous proper permit.
Raymond_Luxury_Yacht 07-31-04, 08:54 PM	:bump: 218. Slaughtering the entire crew of a ship for no reason other than that they were in the same boat. (Yes, my party did that. Granted, I was playing a psychotic Neutral Evil Halfling Druid, and the sailors put my wolf in a cage, so that excuses me. The other players, playing neutral characters, should not be excused.)
Kill the Peasants 07-31-04, 09:48 PM	219. Reisisting arrest by way of attempting and failing to jump through a wall. 220. Saying "untz untz untz" in a techno rhythm while doing pelvic thrusts at a king. Done 'em both. :D
Oakraven 08-01-04, 12:06 AM	221 Assaulting the Dualy authorised by the Crown "Theives" guild (the "theives guild" was entierly composed of LG LN NG CG and N members, and so was the kings court bascialy they were the Kings eyes ears and nose so to speek) The groups paladin and Ranger were responsible for THAT screwup. 222 Hogtieing the Kings Daughter who happend to be the "guild" leader (yes it was during the same screwup) 223 assult and Battery (the ranger when the rogue(who knew about the guild being "good") showed up (finaly got to the game an hour late) in time for the hearing before the magistrate and told the party Duh! the only theives guild here is made up of Elfs and Half Elfs who are under the leadership of the heir to the throne" kind of hit her with a table (still the same screwup) 224 Contempt of the Kings Court (still the same screwup) the player of the ranger would not stop swearing 225 Failure to Corect registeration indicating change of species to a half elf(after being reincarnated) for the tax break given to Half Elfs and Elfs (the city they were in considered all elfs and half elfs to automaticaly be citizens and thus were not subject to a Forign national tax. you are also automaticaly a citizen if your married to a elf or half elf. you can become a citizen if you either own property (realestate) in the city or apply for citizenship or live or maintain a residecne for over 5 years) (the paladin when he got back to the city after doing his "comunity service" for the above, My players have a thing for being reincarnated) 226 Unlawfull detonation of a Latrine (their are times when you should not use a Fireball on a critter trying to get away from you when your in a City especialy when your group is already in trouble for tying up the kings Daughter!) 227 Failure to use Excessive force to restrain a known NE Drow. (humans!)
kclawhammer 08-01-04, 01:22 AM	228) unlawful use of fireball to solve an inn's insect infestation 229) killing of large flying creatures in the city's airspace (mommy, why's the sky falling?) 230) racketeering- casting insect swarm on a regions crops and then offering to take care of the problem for insane amounts of gold (and then fixing the problem witn a lareg cloud of poision gas). 231) looting of previous kings' graves (oooooohhh, look at all the shinny swords! these guys don't need them anymore....) 232) raising previous kings' bodies as undead 233) using said undead kings to overthrow the local government 234) destruction of historic national ruins
DeWayne 08-01-04, 02:43 AM	235) Using Fireball on a grove with 3 dryads in it - they'd kidnapped a couple of party members & won't give them back when I asked nicely. 236) Using Wand of Fireball (several times) on a druid's grove - he'd torn the pages with Fireball on them out of my spellbook in retaliation for #235 without realizing I still had the stolen...uh, liberated spellbook I'd originally copied it out of. 237) Giving an Unseen Servant a big bag of salt and telling him to spread it around the druids grove - I wanted to make sure things would be dead, dry and ready to burn really good when I got the Wand of Fireballs ready.
Megrim_Lord 09-23-04, 08:46 PM	238) Burning down half a city block after setting fire to an arcane library to kill a beheaded troll 239) Assassinating the king because he sneezed (although we later found out he was a fricking vampire... but germophobic, manic psychotic wizards are fun nonetheless) 240) Assassinating an entire town with two fireballs after having an asthma attack in a crowded town hall full of plague infested commoners (same wizard) 241) Selling black lotus extract as a cure for all ailments mundane and magical 242) walking into a crowded tavern and putting a bag of holding inside of a portable hole with a 10ft pole...
Alisttair 09-23-04, 09:23 PM	(243) Entering a random house, killing the commoner within and using cloak of the bat to fly out and escape the city on the wagon with fellow adventurers who are ****** at you.
kgbspy 09-24-04, 09:07 PM	244. Killing assasins by lighting their cloaks on fire and in the process burning down the tavern :D a fellow pc in a level one game did this. he lit their cloaks on fire after someone had smashed ale kegs open right beside the assasins
Piff 09-24-04, 09:44 PM	245. Being on a island playing a Draconian character and pirates arond the island are Draconian.
FrostyObsitnic 09-24-04, 10:20 PM	All of these actually happened... 246. Being a goblin within city limits 247. Casting fireball in an inn, then promptly greasing the stairs to block an attacker from escaping. 248. Casting arcane spells as a cleric to impede justice (long story.) 249. Summoning a lesser dragon in town square to resolve an argument over a bar tab. 250. Impersonating a wallet inspector without express notice from the magistrate. 251. Dismantling the slums and their residents while in an uncontrollable berserker rage. 252. Putting several townspeople to sleep, butchering others, and pretending to fly. Abuse of a potent and illegal hallucenogenic drug. All while claiming to be killing magic mushrooms in a mystical forest. 253. Illegal use of fire to clear occupants out of houses. 254. Paying a roving band of mercenary hobos with the booze content of a bar which you have set on fire. 255. Creating believable counterfiets of legendary artifacts.
Orange Toque 09-25-04, 01:27 AM	256. playing a lute in the town square while completely naked. (long story. don't ask.) 257. walking into a magic shop with a rapier covered in Drow sleeping poison and stabbing the shopkeeper because the other pc's would have been really impressed with all the magic stuff brought back. man, I miss those guys.
Lanoitakude 09-25-04, 02:11 AM	258) Killing of King's advisors, regardless of circumstances. "He's the king's advisor, he MUST be evil!"
Mr. NewFox 09-25-04, 11:58 AM	21) Analyzing the queen's dweomer without a proper medical certification :devil: :rofl: :love: I wonder how many adventurerers end up in prison for things that really aren't their fault?????
Ratheus 09-25-04, 06:29 PM	259. For spending two weeks fighting monsters, drudging through swamps, sleeping in filthy places, looting tombs, and tons of physical activity. The crime? Going straight to the tavern instead of looking for a bath 260. Wearing rusted metal armor in a dining hall 261. Wildshaping in the presence of the king 262. Beating down everybody in a tavern over something as stupid as a minor argument (we're quick with weapons in our fantasy worlds, aren't we?) 263. DM: You forgot to put your pants on this morning. Player: It's kind of obvious that I put them on every morning! DM: Well you didn't tell me that, so you're not wearing any. 264: Raging in a public place just to smack a fly 265. Climbing the king's 20-foot statue to get your spiked chain down 266. Casting stinking cloud in the doorway of a restaurant because you were kicked out for being unbathed 267. Casting levitation in a no-fly zone
Thanqol 09-25-04, 09:47 PM	258) Killing of King's advisors, regardless of circumstances. "He's the king's advisor, he MUST be evil!" I had to kill my entire group because they thought this way. It was so pitiful. Everyone knows the Grand Vizier is always evil! :mad:
silvermist 09-27-04, 09:05 AM	projectile vomiting on an important personage attempting to wash off said important personage with meade and lye soap killing said personage in a bar fight after he smacks you for calling him (a dwarf) a girl with a beard after vomiting on him and soaping him up a bit wanton misplacement of anothers goods/livestock (out artifactor had alchameicly created a cabbit - dont ask- the paladin who did 101-103 lost it durring the above bar fight)
Bartleby_GoC 09-27-04, 11:45 PM	162. Asking town guard where theives' guild is:banghead: PCs: Um, excuse me, we're looking for the thieve's guild. Can you help? Guard 1 (looking incredulously at Guard 2): Why, yes. We can take you right there.! PCs: Great! [We follow them] Guard 2: Well here it is. Wait right in there for your audiance with the guild master. PCs: Thanks! You guys are so helpful! Hey? Why's there bars on the windows? **SLAM!** :rofl: :ayyyy!:
Queenjesus 09-28-04, 01:03 AM	268. Changing into a werewolf while in a berserker rage within city limits without a permit.
Mordmorgan the Mad 09-28-04, 01:12 AM	269. Setting fire to a bar during a barfight "just to spice things up" 270. Accidentally casting stinking cloud and blaming it on the king.
Mern 09-28-04, 03:26 AM	275. (I think) Attempting to sabotage an inn by having the group's bard singing songs about how great the inn across the street is. 276. Attempting to set the inn on fire, after being thrown out by a rather angry innkeeper. 277. Killing a simple thief in the middle of the day, at the market square, after witnessing said thief grabbing a purse and running for it. 278. In the proceeding hearing at the guardhouse, fireing a magic missile into the wall, about an inch from the guard commander's left ear. 279. Attempting to steal an old piece of an artifact from the local museum. 280. Killing a guard with acidic touch, when failing to steal said artifact. (It's a part of this story that it was the group's psion, who tried to steal the item without the rogue (who was also in the museum) knowing about it. The rogue succeded 5 min after the psion was arrested :D ) 281. Busting said psion out while he was standing trial for killing the guard. Killing ~30 guards, ~20 commoners and a judge in the prosess. 282. Said psion using Breath of the dragon to wipe out the throng of commoners coming to see what the fuss at the courthouse was all about. (Right in front of the warlord of the city) I could go on forever writing the illegal things my PC's has done... At least the alignment of the group doing 279-282 was evil.
Pentavite of the Flame 09-28-04, 03:59 AM	283: Animating objects in the throne room while the king is out, making all the stuff rearrange itself, then leaving, just to mess with the king's mind. 284: Next day: The stuff wanders up onto the celing. 285: Day after: The stuff wanders out, and is sold by the wizard (Me). Unfortunately, the guy who brought the throne was a squealer, and I had to fireball ten guards to escape.
Omeg 09-28-04, 04:56 AM	286) Excessive use of fire spells in Myth Drannor causing half of cormanthor to burn to the ground (it's that peculiar love/hate relationship with wild magic zones) 287) Assisting a Lich destroy a local priesthood because he told them those evil priests had cursed him and he was actually elminster. (*sigh*)
simen_88 09-28-04, 11:58 AM	288) Sitting on the King's pillow. In a pile of pillows. One looks very comfortable.
Locus 09-28-04, 02:56 PM	289) Testing out your spells on innocent bypassing children :mage: 290) Saying that your a dwarf, and your not,just so that you can get more beer at the inn. :uh-huh:
silvermist 09-28-04, 03:42 PM	291. having improper sexual relations with a druid's familiar 292. threatening city officials to let you sleep with the pink and yellow 'rangers of power' 293. publicly accusing the aforementioned city official of accepting 'soft money' after you bribed him 294. collecting orc and halfling *******s 295. nailing them to doorways like mistletoe 296. almost anything that breaks both of your alignments at once.
Eagle1993 09-29-04, 11:24 AM	297. Brining the offending "tool" to a rape victim and saying "recognize this".:nonono: Sadly my player actually did this, then didn't understand why he was convicted. :twitch: 298. Painting some random persons house pink. 299. Telling random person they were sent by the king to repaint houses. 300. Slapping a barmaid on the rear. Players quote "What? It was acceptable back then." Yea I got 300!!! Edited for spelling.
Ratheus 09-29-04, 03:24 PM	301. Any errant use of fire-based spells which inevetably causes a building to burn to the ground (who hasn't done this?) 302. Poaching kobolds without a permit 303. Nailing the beautiful princess in the tushie with a ray of frost 304. Unlawful use of illusion spells to make peasants look like hobgoblins, just to 'keep the town guard on their toes' 305. Placing enemy head on end of spear and walking around town with it 306. Creating and unleashing dire termites 307. Wearing twelve pounds of jewelry while trying to talk your way out of not paying your taxes 308. Casting flesh to stone on a dozen gnomes, and arranging them around your yard and garden
Lanoitakude 09-29-04, 06:06 PM	"308. Casting flesh to stone on a dozen gnomes, and arranging them around your yard and garden" Hahah, oh man, a Psion in my group tried to do something like this with Crystalize.
Master Agnald 09-29-04, 11:54 PM	309. Using invisibility to fulfill "lusty needs" (never happened... but probably will soon :rolleyes: ). 310. Threatening the blacksmith for not wanting to enchant your sword with the flaming enchantment (happened... player got arrested... though a bunch of guards almost fell for his Bluff [they all rolled 3s and 1s on their Sense motive checks]). 311. Killing BBEGs without license. 312. Killing hobos without license. 313. Running around casting Otto's irresistible dance on townsfolk. 314. Killing dire animals (well, this doesn't necessarilly gets you arrested, but it sure makes those pesky hippy druids complain and protest a lot). 315a. Being a blackguard. 315b. Being an assassin. 315c. Being a necromancer. 316a. Being an orc. 316b. Being a vampire. 316c. Being a fiend. 316d. Being a half-fiend. 316e. Being a lich.
darczero 09-30-04, 02:29 AM	317) Walking your kender without a leash 318) Giving Kender flying lessons from top level of town 319) Conducting "Diplomatic Negotiations" with local rulers to distract them from Kender's activities (she was only counting the royal treasury) 320) Jumping from back of flying dragon and landing on castle tower containing Royal Bedchambers (20d6 falling damage will crash through most floors) 321) Playing Five Card Draw in local tavern with Deck of Illusions 322) Asking town guard who showed up if they would be willing to play you in a game of High Card for your freedom (pulls out Deck of Many Things...) 323) Walking a Tarrasque through town square (someone successfully dispelled Polymorph spell on sorcerer's Dachsund) 324) Tripping the half-giant in Golem Armor within city limits (doesn't matter where you do this, something's going to break) 325) Burning down town Hall of Justice to avoid being convicted of anything else on this list 326) Serving Holly Berry Bombs version of Fire Seeds at royal banquet 327) Causing barfight by awakening the local Queen with bucket of Holy Water (she was in disguise, give me a break; the Holy Water was to make sure that she would wake up purified) 328) Selling unidentified potions 329) Framing local clergy (who happen to be LG) for raping and murdering local nobility 330) Putting Slippers of Spider Climbing on feet of Town Guard's mounts 331) Allowing Kender wearing said slippers to climb town magistrate 332) Committing 2500 counts of rape in the name of "Continuation of the Species" 333) Committing another 1000 in the name of Science (what would happen if that Gnome Barbarian were to impregnate the local populace, who all happen to be Human or Half-Elf?) 334) Drawing Singing Sword in the "Quiet Please" section of magic college library 335) Selling town children as spell components 336) Impersonating a Devil 337) Impersonating commanding officer in army, then accusing actual commanders of false accusations of said crime and calling them the impostors 338) Allowing Kender to keep townsperson as pet 339) Animating the High Priest as a Skeleton (same LG temple as above) 340) Stealing Holy Relics to equip said skeleton 341) Selling the deed to the kingdom (when you're not a member of the royal family) 342) Vomiting in the town well... for three hours straight 343) Prostitution while under the effects of Illusion spells 344) Conducting "Archaeological Dig" into castle treasury 345) Burning down Waterdeep by surviving 8 simutaneous Fireball spells from local Mage's guild 346) Slaying 200 paladins (don't ask why there were that many) in self-defense 347) Trapping local Deity (Mielikki, actually) in such a place as to be obstructing traffic 348) Causing walls to queen's bathing chambers to be invisible, while queen is bathing
R-man 09-30-04, 05:11 AM	349) Framing some poor kid with the PC's breaking and entering crime so that the PC's can get off scot free. This was done by finding some kid following him home, breaking into his house and drawing a pentagram (in blood) on the floor and staking out a cat in the middle, then stashing some of the stolen loot from the place where we were seen in his closet. Then returning to the Inn where the rest of the PC's where under house arrest and telling the town guard that "yeh we where near that house, but oh no officer we would never break into the place. But I did see this kid (detailed description) hanging around the place. :D :D :D
darczero 10-01-04, 02:44 AM	350) Framing the captain of the royal guard for assassinating the king 351) Knowingly consorting with the local Thieves and Assassins guilds, for purposes of faking your own death to escape charges from 350 352) Starting false prophecies that label other PC as the Savior of the World just so you can get free ale at the inn 353) Starting false prophecies that label local monarch as the Anti-Savior (usually precedes or follows #350) 354) Rearranging history
darczero 10-01-04, 02:50 AM	355) Casting dozens of Stone Shape and Move Earth spells to resculpt the landscape into a giant bowl (think about that one) 356) Improper parking of a castle 357) Speeding (on foot) 358) Failure to observe local traffic regulations while on dragonback 359) Falsely claiming to have slain evil dragon to collect bounty by handing in evil dragon's actual heart (actual crime was consorting with evil dragon) 360) 23 counts of aggravated murder against local festival actors; also included several thousands of counts of assault with a tree (wielding the tree as a weapon, both melee and ranged)
darczero 10-01-04, 03:10 AM	361) Carbonating (as in soda) an entire ocean 362) Sinking a Castle (that was not built anywhere near a body of water or floating/flying above one) 363) Setting fire to the city streets (that are made of stone) 364) Carving initials in side of mountain 365) Electrically charging all the metal within 5 mile radius 366) Causing the trees in the palace garden to make snide remarks at the royal family (Awaken?) 367) Illegal transportation of property (as in land/real estate property) 368) Polymorphing into Titan/other extremely tall creature indoors in a halfling village
Mister_Darren 03-03-05, 07:47 PM	369. Playing 3 Card Monty with a Deck of Many Things
MasterRookie 03-03-05, 10:18 PM	Some things I've done 370. Making the city gaurd look totally pathetic by almost single handedly defeating an ogre that killed two of their men 371. Keeping a half orc tied up in a bag of holding because he might come in handy. 372. Ordering said half orc, a dendrophile to protect a Druid's woods while he's away.
nosoupforyou 03-03-05, 11:14 PM	373: Your rogue/sorcerer being caught doing the princess in the royal garden - Soup
ShadowDragon8685 03-04-05, 12:13 AM	374: Any form of indecent act with royalty.
Johnny3D3D 03-04-05, 01:19 AM	375: Jaywalking
simen_88 03-04-05, 01:56 AM	376. Gnomehood
DM_Newbie 03-04-05, 09:35 AM	377. Blowing up shocker lizards in the Duke's great hall.
Clawhound 03-04-05, 03:24 PM	378. Trespassing 379. Arson 380. Breaking in Entering 381. Assault 382. Battery 383. Attempted Murder 384. Grand Larceny 385. Trafficing in stolen goods And this was the FIRST adventure at first level. (You see, these good clerics told us to attack some evil clerics, then paid us. However, these bad clerics were on their own property, so under the law, we would have been quite the bad guys to break into their homes, murder their servants, burn down their house, and steal their goods.)
Johnny3D3D 03-04-05, 04:07 PM	386: Kidnapping Gnomes and selling them as slaves to a Hobgoblin who needs training dummies for his goblin army.
zerubabel 03-04-05, 06:28 PM	387?) i was once almost arrested for impersonating the chef of a zhentarium stronghold. luckily i had a month's supply of "special" oregeno and made brownies for dessert. the entire stronghold fell asleep and i snuck out :D .
Settra 03-05-05, 06:54 AM	These things actually occured during some sessions in our campaign. (All the crimes were comiited by the same character.) 388: Killing old ladies at random by frightening and/or Jumping on to them from a two-story building. 389: Disturd the most powerful wizard in the city while he's casting an identify spell to figure out the effects of a powerful magic item by yelling "BOH!!!!" 390: Become a stripper and seduce a member of the royal family, and next morning act like a total **** in front of her parents (Duke and Dutchess or the like.) 391: Setting fire to a fellow adventurers room while drunk to blame him the next morning. (The adventurer was a dwarf that actually was our lawyer at the time.) 392: Crushing a member of the city guard under a dead ogre by jumping on the corpse while it was atop the guard. 393: Casting different spells and becoming invisible practically all the time. If somebody reacts to it: kill them or intimidate them. 394: Several other mean pranks directed to the dwarf that became a member of our party after a while. (Like pushing him to a potesial death by falling in a bottomless pit.(Luckily there was a gigantic spider web to catch him.)) The character actually got away with ALL these crimes and is still a member of our good/neutral party.
MasterRookie 03-14-05, 09:59 AM	399. Pooping in the empty eye socked of a totem of Gruumsh 400. Having a drinking contest with dragons breath 401. Going "Duh, Duuuuuh." while the DM is trying to give descriptions 402. Placing a bag of holding in the ocean so it fills with all the water and kills the entire planet.
Rellik Laires 03-14-05, 03:13 PM	332) Committing 2500 counts of rape in the name of "Continuation of the Species" 333) Committing another 1000 in the name of Science (what would happen if that Gnome Barbarian were to impregnate the local populace, who all happen to be Human or Half-Elf?) 335) Selling town children as spell components :heehee :heehee :heehee 403:Petting a Fat lady wearing Grey while **** drunk (Found out she was a nobal) 404:peeing in a Mug of ale as a Bar Joke (hey i guess the head of the guard doesn't like Pale Ale lol) 405:Looking suspicious (Don't you hate your DM) 406:Smuggling of Endangered Species along with 2 accounts of Dismembering children (Long story lol. but i'll try to sum it up. we had to move this creture that had a sack over its head and all u could see was its scally body and sharp claws. 2 kids come by and say can i pet him. and of course the rouge in the party says "for a cp" they rip of the sack the thing bites off the kids arm then tear of the other kids leg and scurries into the allie. my character chased the damn thing and the rest of the party :mymy: :twitch: they get aressted for smuggling and dismemberment within city limits i get aressted for smuggling and dismemberment AND FLEEING THE SCENE OF THE CRIME!!!!! ) 407:speaking the words "Enacra" (another long story but a funny one ) 408:yelling your god is a Peagon ***** in the middle of mass (who would have known the government was ran by the Church ????) 409:Casting identify (Cheap ass city wanted me to go and pay for it when i had the components) 410:Sending a shipment of frenzy water to a nearby orc encampent (who would have known the directions were wrong and that when they raged they just so happened fell upon the city within 60 seconds ... I hate my DM) 411:Unlocking Chasity Belts (I was a peeping tom Rouge with a high open lock and was just taking a peek) 412:Putting a Magical adhesive on the mouth pieces of the band of bards instruments (i thought it was funny) 413:Owning a Brothel (ok when i was buying the land i wrote Tavern/Bath House the one lil description got me 6 weeks) 414:Annoying the DM (ever get a cursed item for the spcific reason?? it was a cursed dagger and at the end of every sentance you had to say "In accordance to the Prophacy" {BTW i kno i'm Illiterate}) 415:I was once put in holding cells for owning Mithreal??? (I dunno don't ask me) 416:Bleeding on the Garments of a town Cleric (i went to him for healing i ended up getting 3 days :banghead:) thats all i remember of my run ins with the law in game i have plenty more i just can't remember em all but meh
Santrilla 03-14-05, 03:39 PM	417. Use of a dwarf in spiked armor, attached to a chain, as a giant flail. Without the dwarf's permission. (This happened to my character. Bitter? Maybe a little. :( )
NobertJoe 03-14-05, 04:05 PM	418: Calling a King's Crown and royal sceptor "quiant" because quote "I've seen bigger baubles in a goblin's treasure horde" (true story)
woozygremlin 03-15-05, 09:47 AM	419: Concocting an elaborate plan to overthrow the sovereign of the realm.... while attending a banquet in his honor. No, most of my players aren't very smart. 420: Prostituting female party members to raise adventuring money. Didn't lead to an arrest, but if I was DMing it would have... strangely none of the characters involved objected. 421: Indecent use of the Wildshape ability. Involved a very lonely Awakened Dire Badger.. 422: Saying "I strip naked and we do it". After being prepositioned by a prostitute... in a crowded tavern at happy hour. 423: Asexual Molestation The players just kept poking and prodding this poor Dromite (I guess they didn't believe it didn't have a gender, idiots..) 424: Lewd and Indecent use of a Holy Symbol. A Dwarven Cleric was upset at guard who wouldn't let him take his holy symbol into a castle and said something predictable and one strength check later.....
MasterRookie 03-15-05, 03:04 PM	425. Giving Gnomes rides in a bag of holding
ShadowDragon8685 03-15-05, 03:26 PM	426. Extradimensional polluting. (Don't ask... Please don't ask... :nonono: )
Titan W 03-15-05, 07:57 PM	427) Placing explosive runes on the inside of an outhouse 428) Placing a Delayed Blast Fireball inside said outhouse's "Hole" 429) Use of inappropriate areas to hide items for thieves, then retreiving them in public (Actually happened, rear) 430) Illegal use of explosives (Including items, such as alchemit's fire...) 431) Illegal consumtion of explosives... don't ask... 432) Wishing for a "Million Bucks" in town... and having the wish twisted (the characters survived miracullously...) 433) Selling dirt as "Magic Healing Powder"
Nethryn 03-15-05, 09:27 PM	434: Stealing from their employers, each other, the thieves guild, and everything living, dead, undead, or just slightly dead. 435: Beating up the city guard. Just for the fun of it. 436: Beating up everything that moves. Just for the fun of it. 437: Throwing people through windows. 438: Random acts of vandalism.
MasterRookie 03-17-05, 09:44 AM	435. Labeling all your death potions as "Potion of Ultimate Power" 436. Stealing the prince's war horse while **** drunk on dragon's breath, dressing it in a night gown, and leaving it in the bathroom, While naked.
Mr. Coffee 03-17-05, 10:41 AM	437.) After being harassed by irritating priests of Pholtus, attaching "Cleric of Pholtus" signs and Pholtan pamphlets to chickens and sending them wandering around town.* 438.) Accidentally shooting a priest of Pholtus (yes, more Pholtan adventures) while trying to hit a thief who had just robbed a party member.* 439.) Dropping a cursed mirror that made anyone who looked at it infatuated with it in the town square.** 440.) Putting green paint and leaves on face, climbing a tree, and leering at passerby.*** 441.) Climbing a tree while being pursued by town guard and telling them "the caterpillars are laughing at me" in order to convince them of your insanity.*** 442.) Trying to smuggle unidentified magic items through customs, which included a ring of the efreet and several enchanted coins that summoned undead.**** *Actually happened. **Yes, we found the mirror, but we buried it instead. Too bad, really. ***Done by an infamous halfling thief of mine. ****Done by another player's infamous gnome wizard.
MasterRookie 03-17-05, 02:41 PM	438. Releasing several rust monsters into a building where there creating an army of Iron golems 439. Casting stone to flesh on all of the marble statues in the kings court 440. Casting gentle repose and animate dead on said statues and selling them as love slaves.
Alcari Ambaron 03-17-05, 04:10 PM	417. Use of a dwarf in spiked armor, attached to a chain, as a giant flail. Without the dwarf's permission. Hmmm, this used to happen to a particulairy small gnome char i played... 441: Using a gnome as large projectile 442: Using a gnome as dead weight in a trebuchet 443: Dropping a gnome froma window to stop fleeing foes (yes, the same gnome) 444: dropping a basket of Thunderstones and Alchemists fire from your griffin while flying over a city. 445: casting Ice Storm to stop the petty thief who stole your money. in the middle of the city. 446: while supporting some troops in battle from the rear, using Cones and Lines of [whatever]. 447: using a wall of fire in the queen's large WOODEN summer house.
Shocker250 03-17-05, 06:06 PM	448. Taking advantage of the Mayor's nubile teenage daughter. 449. After loosing some G.C. while gambling at the INN, leaving by Busting down the door, and then refusing to pay it. 450. Trying to pickpocket the guy with the really big elegant hat. (He was the Captain of the Guards) 451. Trying to get ur friend who got caught by the captain of the guards out of jail by hitting on the Captain of the Guards 452. Killing the Kings favorite pet. 453. Walking into every store in town and just asking the store owner, "Do you sell any posoins?" (in broad day might i had) 454. Deciding its better to just beat the Bridge toll guard up rather then paying the minor fee of using the bridge. 455. Killing the Captain of the Guards
Koryo 03-19-05, 03:16 AM	456: Demanding 10 times the agreed upon price for retrieving an item from a wizard, and then, when the wizard refused to pay, attacking him and burning down his house. 457: Meeting the drunken son of a wealthy noble in a dark alley in a big city, robing him blind, leaving him naked and passed out drunk in the dark alley, and getting away with it because the poor boy was too drunk to remember the event. 458: My group of good and neutral PCs had contracted with a group to dig up an old artifact outside of town. Their new coworkers showed up and wanted to test the PCs asking "So, are you boys ready to assasinate the mayor?" All of the PCs excitedly told him they were ready.
Coyote Skyheart 03-20-05, 10:43 PM	Here's some I've done. 459: While in a foreign town, going to the local jail and asking the guard why your friend is locked up. Then the guard asks, "Oh, you know him?" (The DM managed to lock up 6 of our 8 players!!) 460: Redecorating the tavern by turning the walls a pretty pink color. 461: Giving directions to someone in a hurry (he was a thief) 462: 'Fixing' a bargain with a merchant in the party's favor through clever use of the command spell, in 2nd ed. "AGREE!" 464: Pushing a heavy 10x10 coffin through town square in the middle of the night. Long story. 465: Trying to explain to the guard that the reason you're digging holes in the back alley is because your home is having foundation problems, and you needed more dirt. :rolleyes: 466: Impersonating a guard to free a prisoner. 467: Breaking the guard you impersonated out of prison, because he has a family and they were going to hang him.
JamesKyri 03-24-05, 09:11 PM	468: Using Baleful Polymorph to turn a high ranking drow priestess into a newt and eating said newt. 469: Using Baleful Polymorph to turn a high ranking drow priestess into a newt and keeping said newt in a glass case as a pet, even when the spell effects wear off. 470: Pickpocketing and stripping an unconscious drunk only to find him to be the mayor of the town.
TheChilliGod 03-24-05, 11:58 PM	471: Refusing to accept the simple fact that Bards and Succubi are not the same thing (Urgh!) 472: Questioning a guard when s/he should be questioning you. 473: Coming up with a fiendishly cunning plan to thwart a do-badder and ending up with his plan carried out anyway and the king blaming you for it. 474: Being Chaotic Evil without a permit 475: Being non-good without a permit 476: Being Good without a permit 477: Being wrongly accused of being a witch 478: Trying to Bluff a guard that you are one of them 479: Taking a vow you don't really mean to keep anyway 480: Being a paladin of St Cuthbert in a zombie city (I'm going to do that soon to my precious PC's... Mua ha ha...) 481: Not hating halflings
JamesKyri 03-25-05, 12:44 PM	482: Publicly wearing a sign which reads "I will randomly kick gnomes" to find out the race of the mayor is....well, you get it. That actually happened...in fact, all four of my mentions did.
Helmed Horror 03-25-05, 01:23 PM	483.) A LG character by all standards except for his unnatural cumpulsion to kick puppies. 484.) same as 483 only when you are drunk you rob liquor stores as well.
trappedslider 03-31-05, 01:11 AM	485 saying VIVA LA REVOLUTION! then leaving town while poeple are revolting aginst the system. 486 saying VIVA LA REVOLUTION! to begin with. why hasn't this been moved to the d20 for grins forum?
Carn Vandoril 03-31-05, 09:47 AM	487) For having a void-trap as a "welcome"-doormat. 488) For Being too big, for small places. (creature size mind you :waits: ) 489) for having an undead cohort without the 'bad smell permit'. 490) For braking magic-swords-with-a-history. (my paladin had a rap like this)we use a fumble list (critical failure list).
schof 03-31-05, 10:30 AM	491. Jaywalking, with an army of undead 492. Corrupting the youth, with wands of lightning bolt (and they killed socrates for being outspoken) 493. Creulty to animals, making a dire bear tank for you 494. Insighting a riot, when during a town meeting you cast suggestion: mutiny 495. Spousal abuse, when you find out you married a succubi 496. Prostitution, when you dominate the succubi and opress her for her *talents* 497. Public Drunkeness, after losing drinking contest to a dwarf 498. Rape, use of date rape *charm person* :waits: 499. Possesion of Illegal Drugs, like black lotus extract !500!. Child Molestation, when the town guard misunderstands your relations with a halfling why is everyone so mean to gnomes, sheesh!
AramilWindwalker 03-31-05, 01:05 PM	481: Not hating halflings A crime only punishable by horrible, excrutiating pain and torture, followed closely by crucifixion and burning alive.
Myer Lynk 03-31-05, 01:32 PM	501. Illegal use of a dwarf as a weapon (we just wouldn't let go of the damn chain) 502. Using invisibility to avoid toll booths 503. Dragging the body of your nemesis behind your carriage for more than a fortnight 504. switching the royal crown for a chocolate replica 505. using a halfling as a stepping stone (poor little guy )
Child Of Winter 03-31-05, 02:37 PM	506. Evading treasure taxes. (Especially when, since you own 100,000 PP taxes would result in the local economy gaining close to 15,000 PP!) 507. Evading treasure taxes through arcane and divine means. For example; Tax collector: "By order of the King, you owe the country x amount of PP." Magi: "But you forget one very important thing you did no....*Feeblemind!*" Tax collector: "Okay...I'm gonna say bye bye now, nice man with pointy beard." Or Tax collector: "By order of the King, you owe the country x amount of PP." Cleric: "But, by the scales of (insert God with portfolio of Balance, Justice, Equality etc.) *Gate!*" *Gates in a Klurichir: a CR 25 demon that gives Balors nightmares* Cleric: Now...*Astral projection!* *Projects allies and himself onto the astral plane.* Fighter: "Nice one, Cleric. Now I suppose we'll have to find yet another Material Plane where you haven't released mortal doom." Cleric: "Tee-hee!"
Bjorn Borg 03-31-05, 02:52 PM	These are all true... 508) Threatening to blow up the local inn with a bag of gunpowder and a sparkler 509) Releasing all the crazy people in the town's asylum.. just for fun 510) Trying to knock out an old lady, while instead rolling a crit and destroying her in the process 511) Trying to be like Spiderman with a Cloak of Arachnia (didnt work out too well) 512) Fireballing a children's parade in the streets (I really thought they were a disguised band of ogres) 513) Accidentally killing an old shoemaker for fear of him being a raskasha 514) Sabotaging the wheels on a dozen poo carts in the city
Regwon 03-31-05, 05:12 PM	515: Causing mass outbreak of vampires 516: Dangling a halfling chef by his toe nails from the bottom of a flying ship 1000ft in the air 517: Owning a Flying ship without a permit 518: Keeping the decapitated bodies of victims festering in a small room 519: Stringing the heads of many endangered species of animals on a chain and using it as a belt 520: Using gold stolen from the cities castle by a large demon to purchase illegal and intoxicating substances 561: Keeping the mentally disturbed dwarf in a small room full of decapitated and festering corpses 562: Murder of the entire following of a deity 563: Using teleknetic powers to throw someone into the air and then steal their shoes 564: Turning the population of an entire town into small reptiles 565: Interplanar piracy 566: Kidnapp and rape of a drow two size categories smaller than you 567: Theft of a flying ship 568: Using a Blood Orc, holding a halfling, as a weapon 569: Biting heads off while preteding to be a gnome with a long tail 570: Murder of 19 ninjas, followed by the removing of annother ninjas toes, fingers and tounge. 571: Poisoning the water supply with the bodies of 19 ninjas 572: The obtaining of prophecies without a permit 573: Leaving a flayed carcass in the street 574: Murder of 5 year old acolytes 575: Loss of all the virgins in the country
Sir Spamalot 03-31-05, 05:16 PM	Attacking the Pope because he cant cast resurection
Raymond_Luxury_Yacht 03-31-05, 06:30 PM	537. Being a Kender. 538. Skipping 40 things in the law code.
Bjorn Borg 04-01-05, 09:26 AM	576) B****-slapping the king, pretending to be him, and then messing up the good relations with the neighboring kingdom that he tried to establish for over 10 years 577) Wearing armor and making too much noise... without a permit
Cardinal Teplin 04-01-05, 09:56 AM	578) Attempting to bribe a senior clerical official (into casting raise dead - again) 579) Looting the body of the princess you were supposed to be guarding from assasination. (and no, her jewels are not 'clues')
Scaer_Vieliss 04-01-05, 10:16 AM	580. Plotting to Feeblemind/Bestow Curse the King, so as to make him more suggestible to you. (Think of Wormtongue and Theoden).
DollNamedSanity 04-01-05, 11:56 AM	581. (not really a law, but common sense) Attempt to sell wooden replica "Shimmies" to large 1/2 orc barbarians 582. Punting of a Gnome past the declared limit into an alley for criminal purposes (NE 1/2 orc barb) 583. Back Alley castrations without medical license, anasthesia, or disenfectant. With a hammer. 584. Breaking of health code violations from attempt of sale of gnome-kebobs to healer and apprentices. 585. Ownership of a halfling-skin bag. 586. Illegally enchanting said bag into a bag of holding. 587. Impersonating an act of God by gathering all first-born children of city and putting them into said bag. 588. Health code violation of using said bag (Now cursed to constantly wail the sound of agonized infant wailing) in an unventilated (also cursed to smell like rotting corpses) enclosed area. The king's court.
Warchicken 04-01-05, 12:13 PM	A bit long, but it happened to my current party. 589. Get captured while coming into town. Get forced to fight the other PCs in a bizarre "underground" gladitorial games. When the local Watch force showed up, get tossed into jail because one of the PCs decided to mouth off to the Watch and because we seemed kind of funny (of course being clothed in only a loin cloth, chained to the floor is a bit suspicious) 590. Kill a really powerful Artificer in the middle of the night in his tower in the middle of Sharn's better part. Not really a problem except that he cast Alarm and it could be heard in just about every tower nearby.
MasterRookie 04-01-05, 03:09 PM	590. As a princess is getting dressed for a public event of some sort replaceing the cloths she is about to put on with illusionary ones that will disapear during the public event. 591. Creating a programed image of a neon sign that says "Donkey Raping Moron" with an arow pointing towards the king that will follow him where ever he goes.
trappedslider 04-01-05, 08:47 PM	592. taking over the local drug cartle 593. selling the above metioned drugs to everything you see 594 selling drugs to the king's air pilots (new meaning for flying hig)
Ridureyu 11-30-05, 12:29 AM	595: Attacking the blacksmith to "loot his items" 596: Attacking the sage to "loot his items" 597: Attacking the king to "loot his items!"
Orcy The Green Wonder 11-30-05, 02:29 AM	598: Possessing the King and making him rob his own treasury. 599: Selling people "healing potions" and then making a lot of money when they return addicted to Vodare, Agony, or any other such drug. 600: Killing El Cheapo (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=245074) 601: BEING El Cheapo (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=245074) 602: Burning down the tavern because it 'seemed like the right thing to do at the time' 603: Being a Drow 604: Being a Drow with a slave 605: Being a Drow female with a slave... and a whip 606: Killing the local priest and storing his body in your bag to 'donate' to evil temple/brothel down the street. 607: Telling the guards 'prove it' 608: Being a Mage 609: Being a Mage and saying 'whoops' 610: Making repeated use of prestedigitation for 'fun' 611: Being a Gnome 612: Being an Orc 613: Being a Gnome RIDING an Orc
Rolof 11-30-05, 03:30 AM	614) Filling the streets with peanut shell litter. (The party had a Kender who had the magic peanut item.)
Gworraent 11-30-05, 07:17 AM	probably been mentioned but 615. spanking royal posterior
DollNamedSanity 12-01-05, 09:32 AM	598: It is forbidden for a High Holy Order Paladin to make pacts with the undead. 599: Arson. So much arson. 600: Scrying the queen's "aura" without her permission 601: Allowing pixies into the china shop 602: allowing pixies into the brewery
Silais 12-01-05, 03:28 PM	603. Creating a new use for the emotion spell... the Lust effect... 604. Casting said spell on every commoner in town. 605. Creating a wand of said spell, sneaking into the kings castle, casting on everyone you see. 606. Arming every commoner in a town with necklaces of fireball (it took them a whole 3 days to burn the village down.) 607. Scoulding said commoners then offering them a new home in your castle (as slaves, not that you told them that) 608. Getting fed up with being thrown in prision for breaking stupid laws, so you destroyed mechanius in an attempt to destroy law.
Rocketboy13 12-01-05, 03:42 PM	609) putting a sign out in front of your new theives guild that says "Theives Guild, Help Wanted" 610) Suggesting that the village just bargain with the Lich. "Maybe if you give him one or two of your children he'll leave the rest of you alone." 611) Using a Rod of Wonder to impersonate a god. "Behold!" Elf turns purple, "Wait let me try that again. Behold!" All of these have happened in my game, all are quotes from my players. :nonono: Morons.
metamind 12-01-05, 05:01 PM	21) Analyzing the queen's dweomer without a proper medical certification :rofl: :rofl: OMFG :rofl: :rofl:
Pellanor 12-01-05, 05:18 PM	Man, this thread is great. I'm basing the legal system in a city I'm designing on the posts here. So far I'm almost up to 100 different laws. It will probably break the 100 mark pretty soon.
TalonofTiamat 12-01-05, 05:33 PM	612: Pulling a mule out of a belt pouch without the mule's consent. 613: Asking a mule for permission to pull it out of a belt pouch. 614: Selling a mule after having pulled it out of a belt pouch. 615: Casting "Magic Missle" at the darkness (punishable by death) 616: Claiming to not know the city's laws after having just entered the city.
Drasche 12-03-05, 11:59 PM	617. Aiding and abetting a kender. 618. Destruction of private property. "Honest, constable, I didn't know the wizard still lived there! Not with all the zombies wandering around the garden!" 619. Trespassing. "Look, it was a creepy manor, your Honor. We were, you know, compelled to check it out." 620. Carrying a concealed weapon. 621. Possession of dangerous artifacts with intent to sell. 622. Illegal immigration. "Look, all we did was cut through that farmer's pasture and *WHAM* these rangers drag us off to jail like we're criminals. We're chasing evil things!"
Pseudo2Yorimoto 12-04-05, 01:56 PM	All of the following actually happened in my Oriental Adventures campaign set in Rokugan. 623. Killing a weapons merchant in the middle of the lord's manor, because "His voice was funny..." 624. Refusing to complete the task assigned to them until they were paid. 625. Illegal entry of a lord's estate through disguise as a commoner with a wheelbarrow with intent to assassinate the lord. 626. Assassinating the lord by disguising yourself as his wife (whom was another of the player characters no less, note that the Shugenja who performed the act was male) and having your accomplice chastise him with a kama. 627. Jumping out of a tower seventy feet up, landing and injuring one of the guards and yourself to critical condition Player: "You can't roll a natural twenty to fall!" [ P.S. On the spur house rules rock ;) ] 628. Asking a Pheonix librarian whether or not they had scrolls on maho. 629. The poaching of yetis which really shouldn't even exist in Rokugan [ They went up into the north for the sole purpose of hunting them o.0 ] And the player's were surprised and offended when I had their honor and samurai titles stripped away (the samuai in the group anyway. Actually, only one of the them, the one who killed the merchant. The two who assassinated the lord were a Scorpion monk and shugenja, and they actually made it out without a hitch.
Steel91101 01-16-06, 05:41 AM	630. Failure to return books from a library (haunted or otherwise). 631. No visible means of support. 632. Trampling through farmer's fields and disturbing the peas. 633. Contributing to the delinquency of a (familiar) minah. 634. Smoking in a public area (due to Fireballs etc.). 635. Failure to file a flight plan when casting flying spells. 636. Failure to observe Occupancy Limits when invoking Swarms.
Silais 01-16-06, 05:53 AM	637. Blowing up a massive cavern to destroy the drow city held wth in, with out warning the human city built above said cavern.
bakomusha 01-16-06, 08:43 AM	638:lewd conduct in a public sqaure 639:lewd conduct in an orphanege 640:lewd conduct in public toilet 641:lewd conduct with a nun 642:unlawful use of a 10 ft pole 643:impersonating a member of the cloth,for lewd conduct with said nun.
hollow_ghost 08-05-06, 08:13 PM	644. Reviving this thread.
RPGNOOB 08-05-06, 09:51 PM	21) Analyzing the queen's dweomer without a proper medical certification whats a dweomer
RPGNOOB 08-05-06, 09:51 PM	21) Analyzing the queen's dweomer without a proper medical certification whats a dweomer
hollow_ghost 08-09-06, 09:02 PM	whats a dweomer wikipedia: A Dweomer is the magical charge on an enchanted item in fantasy books or RPGs such as Dungeons and Dragons. More broadly, it can refer to the magical item itself or a spell cast by the object. However in this case, it probably refers to certain body part(s) of the Queen.
Archmage_Vall 08-09-06, 11:21 PM	645. Buying a permit without a permit. 646. Killing a big mama demon... by destroying the entire city located on the surface above its lair. 647. Undercutting the merchant's guild's prices.
OPECOILER 08-27-06, 10:41 AM	Conducting an "Experiment" involving 700 barrels of alchemists fire and delayed blast fireball. "I call it the Fuel-Air Explosive!"
coldfire_x 08-27-06, 11:52 AM	646. farting near the guards 647.eating in a high level bar with your mouth open
Alisttair 09-06-06, 04:40 PM	650. Summoning an Outsider in a city just to test a new spell 651. Killing a Dragon attacking the city only to have it fall dead and squash the citizens watching the epic battle.