Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Derfos 06-18-05, 09:06 PM	I am pretty sure I read this one about 1 year ago, but I have not been able to find it since. SO, I decided that it is a good time for it to come again. Anyway, I will start with some I remember from the other thread: 1. When the rogue can make a piece of blank paper pass as a forgery. 2. When the bard can kill the evil king's son in plain sight of all the town, say a few words, hug the king as a good ol' friend, and walk away, unharmed. 3. When the DM uses d% to roll enemy attacks. 4. When the DM cries for mercy. 5. When the DM decides he will start killing players randomly, and they survive. 6. Laminated character sheets. 7. When the cleric can kill the BBEG, raise him, and kill him again, all in one round. 8. When the wizard casts wish to boil some tea. 9. when the DM takes his lawyer and psichiatrist with him to DnD sessions. 10. When the bard has more hitpoints than the barbarian, when he is in rage! I leave it up to you to come up with other stuff...
SwitchUK 06-18-05, 09:11 PM	10. When the bard has more hitpoints than the barbarian, when he is in rage! How would that ever happen? also: when one of the characters has a critical threat range of 15-20.
Galaktia 06-18-05, 09:14 PM	also: when one of the characters has a critical threat range of 15-20. (I've done that) 12. When your wizard goes off by himself to take on the troll horde 13. when your barbarian can lift the storm giant off the ground, before rageing
Zeteg 06-18-05, 10:30 PM	When the players attempt to commit suicide and fail (Or maybe it just means they suck too much) :D
Derfos 06-18-05, 10:54 PM	When the players complain about not doing anything fun since they killed "those 'god' guys". When players start taking feats like weapon proficiency(wet towel), or skill focus(picking nose), because they don't have any feats left to choose. When the bard tries to make someone believe he is in fact a rat polymorphed into a human, and believes it himself. When the Druid has the Tarrasque as an animal companion. The only way to kill the players is with their own critical fumble. NOTE:A critical fumble is not a critical hit that fails. A critical fumble is when you roll a natural 1, and roll again to see if it is a fumble. It is basically the opposite to a critical hit. It is a rule created afterwards, not sure by whom. I use it appropriately, but sometimes changes combat too drastically.
Tek 06-18-05, 10:54 PM	when two characters duke it out for 'practice' and the fight lasts three an a half sessions.
katsklaw 06-18-05, 11:32 PM	I am pretty sure I read this one about 1 year ago, but I have not been able to find it since. SO, I decided that it is a good time for it to come again. Anyway, I will start with some I remember from the other thread: 1. When the rogue can make a piece of blank paper pass as a forgery. I call that a good thief! 2. When the bard can kill the evil king's son in plain sight of all the town, say a few words, hug the king as a good ol' friend, and walk away, unharmed. The bard should play in a higher realm, such as with deities. Unrealistic events are allowed to happen by the DM ... not the characters. 3. When the DM uses d% to roll enemy attacks. The DM should use bigger, badder monsters. 4. When the DM cries for mercy. This is the DM's lack of imagination, not the characters abilities. 5. When the DM decides he will start killing players randomly, and they survive. Again, lack of imagination on the DM's part 6. Laminated character sheets. No comment 7. When the cleric can kill the BBEG, raise him, and kill him again, all in one round. DM needs to use a bigger. badder BBEG so again .. DM's fault. 8. When the wizard casts wish to boil some tea. Again, bad DM call. Wishes are not to be used lightly. Some DM's rule that Gods grant wishes and that when a wish is granted, the god grows older and suffers great pain or advanced aging when the grantee reveals which God granted his/her wish. 9. when the DM takes his lawyer and psichiatrist with him to DnD sessions. Obsurd! DM's should know that rules are simply guidlines and that the DM's call is the final word on all issues. 10. When the bard has more hitpoints than the barbarian, when he is in rage! high level bard .. low level barbarian ... ======================================== ======================== When the players complain about not doing anything fun since they killed "those 'god' guys". hehehe, this has happened to me before while I was DM'ing. I killed them all. When players start taking feats like weapon proficiency(wet towel), or skill focus(picking nose), because they don't have any feats left to choose. Funny .. but get your head out of the books and into the imagination! :) When the bard tries to make someone believe he is in fact a rat polymorphed into a human, and believes it himself. fumble anyone?! When the Druid has the Tarrasque as an animal companion. or the Tarrasque has a druidic annoyance following him. The only way to kill the players is with their own critical fumble. Horse apples!! A natural critical hit should always hit! Keep it real sam!!! :) Also the DM's should bumb it up a few notches. In short, characters only become too powerful once the DM is no longer capable of creating something bigger and badder. There ia ALWAYS a bigger fish!
Always-Late 06-18-05, 11:34 PM	21. When the bard convinces the king that he's his long-dead father, even if the body's still in the crypt, and persuades him to let him rule the kingdom since he's returned. 22. When the bard uses fascinate in the abyss and succeeds since nobody there could beat a DC 72 will save, not even the black great wyrm with 20 sorceror levels.
NeoRealist 06-18-05, 11:35 PM	when the players have some arbirary number greater than 3 times the normal loot they should have for their level? (lets assume the number selected is greater than most sane people will argue with, as i don't want to derail into how much loot is fine for any given level)
katsklaw 06-18-05, 11:48 PM	when the players have some arbirary number greater than 3 times the normal loot they should have for their level? (lets assume the number selected is greater than most sane people will argue with, as i don't want to derail into how much loot is fine for any given level) So by this rule Bill Gates is a God?!~?!?! .. HARDLY, loot can be stolen whilst characters are away (since it's not likelt that you carry it with you) IF you do carry it with you .. tell me which way your going and I'll uhm .. scout ahead .. yeah .. that's it!! <evil grin>
Gnome_Dragon_Disciple 06-19-05, 12:08 AM	When your level 16 ogre fighter/barbarian can dual wield gargantuan scythes with only a -4 and -6 to attack with them, respectively, crits on a 19-20, and has had them made mercurial so their crit range is x5. With entirely reasonable feats and weapon enhancements, it can dish out almost 3,000 damage in one round.
Loren Pechtel 06-19-05, 12:17 AM	There a considerable similarity between this thread and this (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=301324) one.
jokem 06-19-05, 01:18 AM	I recall an article in The Dragon many years ago related to this thread. One of the lines was - You try to commit suicide, but your armor class is so high, not even you can hit you.
Gnome_Dragon_Disciple 06-19-05, 01:26 AM	Nah... even then you can intentionally lose innitiative to yourself so you can get a flat-footed attack in :P
shadowfox628 06-19-05, 01:28 AM	#XX: Your barbarian can only be hurt by traps he can't avoid. #XX+1: Your barbarian does a minimum damage of 20 on a normal hit. And he's Level 4. And he didn't even make his own character. #XX+2: Your group is so good due to the barbarian, they can face monsters a few CR levels higher than what would kill them. #XX+3: You give them the ability to sell weed..... Don't ask.
jokem 06-19-05, 01:39 AM	Nah... even then you can intentionally lose innitiative to yourself so you can get a flat-footed attack in :P I assume this was related to my post. 1) Keep in mind this article was written before the new editions came out. 2) And it was in the April issue (as in April fool)
Andrew_980 06-19-05, 01:57 AM	when one of the characters has a critical threat range of 15-20 11-20 in 3.0!
sabrewolf 06-19-05, 02:16 AM	#31 (i guess): WHen the barbarian alone can trash out an entir army while th rest of the party drink tea on the battlefield unworryedly. #32 Wen the party is looking for ´a small change´ and one says: "Nyah, just need to kill another dragon to fix that.." #33: When the arcanes are crafting ´trinkets´ with ease that rivals lesser artifacts. #34: When you drop them a "+5 keen flaming vorpal full blade of utter doom" and the monk tells the barbarian "WHat? That? I can cause more damage barehanded." #35: When your gnome ´knight´ replaces the battle dog with a Dire Owlbear of Legend and still complains it´s smaller and weaker then the paladin´s mount. #36: When the bard convince a majog deity that it is indeed a mortal and th bard is the deity. #37: When the forementioned bard convince said once-deity to worship him.
Ehlijen Iswa Tschingjo 06-19-05, 05:10 AM	When you don't have a single character with more chracter levels than templates...gets truer the higher you go.
Derfos 06-19-05, 01:31 PM	There a considerable similarity between this thread and this (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=301324) one. That link is amazing! To add to some other people: THIS THREAD IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE REALISTIC, OR ANYTHING OF THE LIKE. THIS IS JUST TO POST CRAZY IDEAS, SO SOME LOSER WITH EVEN MORE TIME THAN OURSELVES CAN HAVE A COUPLE OF MINUTES OF FUN. DO NOT START LOOKING FOR LOGIC IN THIS THREAD!
Rathje 06-19-05, 08:00 PM	38: Your players are using Unearthed Arcana.
Titan W 06-20-05, 12:55 AM	39. (Acctually happened), A praty of 10 18th level cahracters fights an infernal, by the time the first three are done the rest go, (and one was jsut there to cast wish to stop regeneration... )"Why don't we geat a turn, you could have let US have some fun...?" 40.) Your group rogue/wizard required a level 40 cahracter to stop them from stealing at 12th level... (True Story, she got away from the gusrd the first time and then epic anti-magic field and MDJ kicked in...) 41) Your group druid beats a diety in a grapple the first round (Failed the second by 1) (Again True Story) 42) Your Druid Makes 3 spellcastings a round at level 17 and gets 2 attacks as well... plus those summons... 43) The only time a character dies is when the party's NG druid gets ****** at the evil cahracters... (True Again) 44) The group is in posession of epic items before epic level. 45) "Reality Revision" "Miracle" and "Wish" are unnececary,and the taraque's regeration doesn't matter, you just kill it again... becasue you can.
catowar 06-20-05, 01:10 AM	- one of the players cast creat water and puts out the plan of fire -the roge can steal the helmet off himself and not know that he did it -the bard can convence Palor that he is dead, and palor beleaves it, lays down and dies -the BARBARIN can convence Palor that he is dead, and palor beleaves it, lays down and dies
Titan W 06-20-05, 03:48 PM	49) Your sorcerer has started running into combat, and living, and being more effective than when he was casting spells.
kaldrin 06-20-05, 03:58 PM	50) In lieu of following your epic war campaign and hiring soldiers to fight for them, they decide to slaughter all the opposing soldiers and generals themselves. 51) Are quoted as saying, "Only one Tarrasque?"
chrisnd 06-20-05, 04:02 PM	- When the party actually kills a properly played Great Wurm Red Dragon - When the paladin in the party gives his +5 vorpal keen longsword to the fighter because it doesn't "grant magic resistance" like his +6 Holy Avenger - When the wizard in the party uses a "Retributive Strike" from his Staff of the Magi becuase he "has another staff in his closet back in the castle" - When the wizard can change the chemical makeup of "The River Styx"
Derfos 06-20-05, 08:03 PM	Vecna asks the players to give him a hand. The half-orc fighter flys better than the celestial wizard. The sorcerer's familiar can kill the Tarrasque in one round. The monk starts running, and ends up 30 years before he was born. then, they take the story and turn it into a crappy movie. Said monk waits until 30 years later (and doesn't age a day, of course), so he can do it again. The munchkin starts taking monk levels. The ranger can track a celestial that flied through that place before humankind had existed.
Moncubus 06-21-05, 01:23 AM	62 - They use Genesis to make their own extra-planar polo field. 63 - Elminster is a cohort. 64 - They start having to make up new feats. 65 - The halfling wizard does more damage biting someone than an ogre does with a fullblade.
The_Prophet 06-21-05, 04:11 PM	66- When avatar's of Gruumsh, Vecna, Wee Jas, and Nerull are hired as housekeepers in the PC's fortress/keep/demiplane 67-When the party ranger can fire a +7 ICY BLASTING ARROW and put out the sun 68- When the party cleric says "Now was that an atropal, or a zombie. I couldn't tell the difference."
MarkB 06-21-05, 04:25 PM	"I cast Meteor Swarm on the half-dragon lieutenant." "He's seriously injured, but still alive. He raises his-" "Okay, I cast it again." "...Um, yeah, he's dead." 3.0 Haste and an Epic Sorcerer. :rolleyes:
Siduakal 06-21-05, 04:42 PM	Your player laughs at a Tarrasque. Your player thinks Lava Wights are underpowered.
Titan W 06-21-05, 06:32 PM	Are quoted as saying, "Only one Tarrasque?" Um... I was the one who planned on summoning it to the town for the experience, with a wish, we then realized it would be better to recruit it than to kill it, however I left the campaign before i had the chance... Okay #XX - You dominate the Tarrasque to be your mount XX+1 - Killing gods is boaring, you start making BBEG constructs to fight which hare stronger, so that you have a challenge.
ManinDarkness 06-21-05, 06:40 PM	The PCs begin to posses the players and their powers affect the real world.
Alynn 06-21-05, 08:35 PM	When a lone fighter tells a council of great wyrms "Bite me" When a char hides in plane sight while sitting on the barstool he just ordered a drink from, just to see the confused look on the barkeeps face. Starts a family. No longer prays to diety, just goes on over to say, "Hi." Monk gives someone a high five, and kills them.