Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Moniker 08-28-06, 12:31 PM	Here it is, folks! http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=690845 The thread to rule them all. Create evocative descriptions that would make sense and invoke wonder to a medieval man who was whisked to the modern age! Help coldfire X out, and provide colorful descriptions to use in his (and perhaps your) campaign! 1. A car would be described as a "horseless carriage of iron and billowing black smoke" 2. An airplane would be a "great, steel-winged birds of prey that howl like the storm". 3. Cell phones would be "smooth seashells that echo the words of gods beyond".
P_Zombie 08-28-06, 01:18 PM	"Now listen up, you primitive screwheads. See this? This... is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?" There you have it. Boomstick.
Darkuwa 08-28-06, 01:22 PM	You see a green egg, you get close, your dead.
oxybe 08-28-06, 01:34 PM	6 ) street lamps : everburning torches encased in glass bulbs that hang from tall iron stalks. 7 ) college student on laptop & video game: as you gaze within the window, you are in awe of the immense power at being the young man has, being able to manipulate the lives of the men within the alternate universe (warcraft 3). 8 ) outdoor hotdog vendor : a disgruntled man behind an iron wagon, dressed in an old apron hands you an indistinguishable peice of nearly totally dried meat, sandwitched between bread. he points you towards various soft containters with various thick liquids inside it. neither the red, yellow, or chunky green pastes look inviting... neither the meat in fact. he asks for 3 bucks, though you know not where one can locate deer in this region. 9 ) group of teens/adultsLARP'ing "fighting" an "earth elemental" : as you walk the beaten path of this well tended garden (city park), you notice another group of adventurers being assaulted by an earth elemental. you charge the stone brute, screaming bloody murder, the golem yells the scream of a young man as it removes it's head, pleading for mercy. upon second glance, you see their equiment to be subpar, even by trainee standards. clearly this practice session requires the aid of an expert.
hiryuu 08-28-06, 01:35 PM	Medieval people, while not technologically advanced, aren't dumb. Especially if they're coming from a D&D universe, in which case a cell phone would just be some sort of speaking talisman, like, say, a device of whispered message (it's very obviously not a seashell). An automobile is, of course, an obvious conveyance, perhaps using some measure of magic. A computer is some sort of magical book that gets you what you want, but it's obviously got a curse, everyone knows a normal magic book can get you exactly the knowledge you intended to get. Of course, it has many uses, as well. This may be because the wizard was crafting them so hastily. He must have been, to make so many. And magic items don't suck your soul out when you make them, and aren't fully assembled when you get them from the wizard, when did this happen? You certainly wouldn't want a sword, the hilting, and gemstones to be all seperate in a box, now, would you?
Sulaco 08-28-06, 01:39 PM	Unless there is something very wrong with the car it should not be "billowing black smoke." Also, these people were intimately familiar with iron and cars are not made of it, a fact they would recognize instantly. Unless the indivudal in question only had one eye and could not tell how far away it was I doubt they would mistake a plane for a "bird of prey." It is far too lareg and has none of the characteristics of such a bird. I doubt somebody chattering about their trip to the mall or some hot guy would be construed as "the words of the gods." A cell phone also looks nothing like a seashell. People in the middle ages were not stupid. These things are unfamiliar, not of another universe. Give them some credit. This is the era of da Vinci, Copernicus, Vesalius and more. All this "that be a heap-big thunderbird" rubbish is insulting to the people and accomplishments of a 1000 years of human history.
Moniker 08-28-06, 01:44 PM	How about instead of providing criticisms of my descriptions, write descriptions you feel are appropriate to keep this thread on topic? Cheers~
PiedmonSama 08-28-06, 01:49 PM	A Sedan: This snub-nosed vehicle is built of sleek-looking metal painted in a bright color, its contours streamlined with expert craftsmanship. About the size of a spacious chariot, it looks like it could comfortably hold five within its steely frame. Glass windows fill the sides and a large screen across its fore, within which you can see spacious seats, as well as a large steering wheel and board of buttons, which presumably are the means to control this alien device. The metal flows organically around its four large wheels, and jutting from its back are two thin pipes which steadily emit a thin cloud of smelly gas. From under the forward prow comes a low, steady hum which calls to mind a swarm of flying insects or perhaps a drawn-out human snort. A pistol: This device is held outstretched like a weapon, slightly larger than palm-sized it is solidly constructed of black metal. The barrel evokes a shortened hand crossbow, but the "bow" part is missing entirely. Nevertheless, it obviously operates on a trigger mechanism, and you can guess the "business end" are the holes at the end of the barrel. When it fires, an unearthly CRACK, louder than any noise you've heard, rattles your head, instantly a piece of wall behind you cracks off. The projectiles from this weapon are fired too fast to be seen, with the force of a miniature cannon--there is a cold clack as a hollow brass tube drops out of the barrel, which is readied by thumbing a small lever in the back. A cell phone: The little cylinder isn't exactly built of metal, but painted to appear so. It has a lid which flips open on two hinges, and your first guess is it's some kind of stopwatch. Fixed onto the face of this innerside is an array of orderly buttons with numbers printed upon them, as well as a few with symbols you don't recognize. On the thinner innerside is a small glass screen, from which a faint light glows. Suddenly, the tiny device begins to emit a shrill ring, like the dying coo of an electrocuted pigeon. It vibrates slightly in your hand, the ring continuing persistantly, until dying away after a long moment. Suddenly as an eyeblink, words appear on the little screen: Call Was Missed, Today at 3:15 PM. It becomes clear to you this is some kind of remote communicator, but which button will activate it?
Sulaco 08-28-06, 02:31 PM	How about instead of providing criticisms of my descriptions, write descriptions you feel are appropriate to keep this thread on topic? My reply was on topic. I wished to point out that you needn't rely on childish metaphors or insulting patois to convey modern devices to a medieval man. PiedmonSama has the right of it: specificity is the best method.
Andorxor 08-28-06, 02:48 PM	like the dying coo of an electrocuted pigeon I thought the druids are strictly against the use of birds as targets for spellpractice.
Moniker 08-28-06, 02:48 PM	My reply was on topic. I wished to point out that you needn't rely on childish metaphors or insulting patois to convey modern devices to a medieval man. PiedmonSama has the right of it: specificity is the best method. Excuse me? Childish metaphors? "Insulting" patios? I gave quick ideas to cull better and different descriptions. Both of your responses have absolutely nothing to do with the topic beyond criticism. If you don't prefer the descriptions, then write your own to help contribute to the topic at hand. Leave the criticisms to PMs or out of this thread, please. Cheers~
R99 08-28-06, 02:50 PM	"A gentelman wearing a one piece form of clothing with a red horizontal stripe across the torso and a small golden triangle shaped thing on his left bicept aproaches (*party elf*) and asks where he got the 'fake vulcan ears' and congratulates him on them" "You enter a large book store aand find several shelves with images of the drow ranger/barbarian you met in the previous adventure on them" This is only the beggining...:evillaugh
Sulaco 08-28-06, 03:14 PM	If you don't prefer the descriptions, then write your own to help contribute to the topic at hand. Leave the criticisms to PMs or out of this thread, please. I shall. If you do not want crticism than - and I mean this in the most serious and constructive manner - do not post you ideas here, or anywhere on the internet in fact. This is a discussion board, and it can be a rather tetchy one. That means your posts will illicit both good and bad comments and things you may not agree with. If you are not comfortable with that then this is not the place for you. I hope, however, that this is not the case. Cheers, man. :)
Rickiel 08-28-06, 03:17 PM	In the words of Merlin from Disney's the Sword in the Stone "One big modern mess!"
orionm42 08-28-06, 03:27 PM	Uranium sword (or, for that matter, any enriched uranium device): A fool's weapon! :D
Tzor 08-28-06, 03:33 PM	Well in order to describe something to someone else you need to know first of all what that something is and you need to know what is familiar to that someone else. A car, practically speaking, is little different from an anchient Roman chariot; the only diference is how it moves. The biggest problem is not how but how fast it can move. Airplanes are actually easier to describe, as they have been around since Dadelius and DaVinci. (Actually these are generally gliders but more or less the same thing.) Most medieval people have seen birds, so it's not too far fetched. Cellphones, on the other hand, would get you tagged as a witch in no time flat. :P You realize that the patron saint of television is the medieval Clare of Assisi? "Toward the end of her life, when the was too ill to attend Mass, an image of the service would display on the wall of her cell; thus her patronage of television." Yes, any advanced technology was already discussed at length by medieval people.
PiedmonSama 08-28-06, 04:17 PM	I think the things that would really confound a medieval man surveying 21st century technology is not the shape or nature of the devices, but what they're made of. They didn't have plastic in the middle ages, and I think in many cases they could only paint metal a certain few colors. A man from the Charlemagne years looking at a modern car might not at first think it was made of metal--and when he realised it was garrishly painted metal, he'd be surprised when the roof and doors depress under his hand (they didn't have flexible aluminum back then either.)
Wuggadad 08-28-06, 05:18 PM	After asking your guide for a map of the region, he goes to a strangely outfitted desk. Unlike most desks, there is little room for setting paper to write, nor a hole for an inkwell. Instead, there is a strange glass? in a box and a strange board with 5 rows of buttons. Your guide pushes a button on a similarly colored box on the floor and colorful lights start blinking on it, and the strange glass lights up with a series of images. Your guide displays momentary impatience, but in mere minutes he is purposely pushing those strange buttons that you notice have the local alphabet, numbers, and other mysterious symbols on them. Your guide turns on a small device that has a tray of paper sitting in it, and it makes a series of strange mechanical noises. You are becoming used to strange devices that emit noise, move, or light up in response to buttons being pushed or small levers moved. On the glowing glass window? images appear that are clearly maps, focusing on the bright red 'X' you recognize the street pattern in the vicinity. Soon there is a clatter, and a perfect copy of the image on the window? emerges from what your guide calls a 'printer'. I don't have the time right now to go into Food Processor, Freezer, Stapler, Garbage Disposal among the many noisy and effective devices one could encounter in a home.
Voran 08-28-06, 08:59 PM	Zounds! There's a tiny minstrel trapped inside this box!
BeefotronX 08-29-06, 02:26 AM	The fat pasty mustached man appears to be single-mindedly focused on his work, pausing only to wipe his thick spectacles. He is sorting papers, and the device he is holding to his head appears to allow him to talk to someone far away, to whom he is describing in great detail the virtues of his 'stapler'. He picks up a shiny red object, some sort of rounded box hinged to a thin flat base, and squeezes it around a handful of papers. There is a snapping sound, and he withdraws the papers, putting his red device down. (If PCs approach) When you approach him, he picks up his red device defensively, and begins stroking it feverishly. You can see that the papers are fastened together with a tiny strip of metal, thrust into the paper and bent flat. He puts the device down after deciding that you are interested in the papers, not his device. (If the PCs take the stapler) The fat man stammers in protest, but makes no move to stop you. The device is made of metal and this mysterious shiny red material, almost like lacquered wood. After fumbling with it for a minute, you manage to open the top to find it loaded with several dozen of these tiny metal strips, bent on either side at right angles and all attached weakly together. Its workings become clear to you as you see that the action of squeezing the top down breaks off one of the individual metal strips, forcing it down against the base, its two prongs piercing whatever is put in the way, and then bending inward as they are pressed against small grooves. Later that night, you wake up in the middle of the night to find your room burning.
Wuggadad 08-29-06, 03:38 PM	"Later that night, you wake up in the middle of the night to find your room burning." Uh-oh, did you spike the strange holes in the wall at shin height with metal? And get zapped for your trouble?