Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Another_Poet 03-24-07, 04:54 PM	That is, 1001 ways that the civilians you're forced to escort/babysit/bodyguard/rescue can mess things up for you. To start things off... 1) I have to go to the bathroooooom!!! (especially a kid) 2) No, we refuse to go with someone who would work with a half-orc 3) The one you're paid to keep alive decides he/she should help in melee
Another_Poet 03-25-07, 10:28 PM	anybody??
Narris 03-25-07, 10:33 PM	"It's your job to keep me alive." Then runs off.
Daydreamer 03-25-07, 10:37 PM	Fine, ill come, but only if you help me find/do/defeat 'x' first. Also, narris, lol did you copy my sig? not that i mind in the least im a bit flattered.
DarthMarasmus 03-25-07, 11:00 PM	Okay, I'll bite... 6) "Oh look, a squirrel!!" **skips happily towards the evil looking forest with a glowing green miasma emanating from it**
AffableDoomwalker 03-25-07, 11:11 PM	7) To the Fighter/Barbarian: "Would you mind carrying my belongings? They're dreadfully heavy, and I'm really very tired... oh but please be careful, they're rather expensive you know."
Syn_Exelian 03-25-07, 11:22 PM	8) "Oh mister bard thank you for the great song earlier! You should play now so that the orcs we're hiding from can here how great it is!" A little girl we were protecting that didn;t know how to shut up.
yellowdingo 03-26-07, 07:00 AM	9)"Psst! Want to sell the others into slavery? I know a guy in the next village..." 10)"Oh wow is that a real orc hiding behind that tree?"...goes to look.
Ikyotojin 03-26-07, 10:36 AM	11) What's this lever do?
Soluphobe 03-26-07, 11:27 AM	#12 1. Alert player to make Min/maxed character 'Because this campaign will be really mind-bendingly tough to stand. 2. Watch them come up with Spiked-chain trippers, Miracle-at-level-6 casters, and anything that came from the CharOp board. 3. As they hand you their Munchkin sheets, do one of the following: 4a. Say: "Alright. Your mission is to kill all the rats in Joe McGlee's basement. If you do well, he'll teach you prof (cooking). 4b. Say: "Thank you. These will make excellent henchmen for the BBEG. By the way, I wrote up your commoner characters for you. You must max out in craft or profession skills."
Prator_the_Legendary 03-26-07, 11:30 AM	13. Can't we go faster? (Civilian moves 15 ft. per round). 14. Slow down already! (same person) 15. Ooh, that's a cool sword! Can I handle it?
RobbyPants 03-26-07, 11:36 AM	16) Civilian you're escorting through hostile areas decides it's a good time to butt in during negotiations (with no ranks in Diplomacy). "Why should we bargain with them? They're just stupid orcs! Give them some copper and tell them it's gold. They can't tell the difference! Stupid, green, ugly" - *Splorch*
Evil DM Mk3 03-26-07, 11:52 AM	17)"How Twelebwy wuff!" Seriously, anything said in that kind of voice spells instant doom. 18)Characters that have the same moral persepctive as teh True Stuipid Paladin. Standing between you and a downed orc, only to get kidnapped when he wakes up... 19)Having to deal with a racist, bigoted or sexist NPC. I have known NPCs start battles by beign this. 20)Hero worship of a PC, everything from getting them into fights they can't handle to making them do stuipd things not to look bad. Then the inveitable run and cry when that Pc failst to meet expectations/gets angry with them. 21)Twoflower. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twoflower)
Another_Poet 03-26-07, 06:33 PM	16) Civilian you're escorting through hostile areas decides it's a good time to butt in during negotiations (with no ranks in Diplomacy). "Why should we bargain with them? They're just stupid orcs! Give them some copper and tell them it's gold. They can't tell the difference! Stupid, green, ugly" - *Splorch* haha my fav so far!
041391klr 03-26-07, 06:59 PM	22). "So wait... that scroll with the funny words on it wasn't fancy toilet paper?"
valcarde 03-26-07, 07:37 PM	23) "... I suppose I should have mentioned the head of the thieves guild I honked off was... uh... you know his nickname of "The Dragon" isn't just a nickname right?"
Imatash 03-26-07, 07:40 PM	24. Are we there yet? Remember Player Characters die....:) Imatash
yellowdingo 03-27-07, 02:44 AM	25) "I'm Pregnant and I'm Pretty sure you're the father..." Says it to the Paladin infront of her father.
graddlin 03-27-07, 03:05 AM	"So, you are telling me that they were griffon eggs?" (belch) "The new latrine is amazing, you should go have a look! The whole town is using it!" (You find out your Portable Hole is missing.) "I shall call them to the walls." The emissary you are escorting to a peace talk grabs your Horn of Blasting from you side and proceeds to summon the gate warden.
darkhellion21 03-27-07, 11:21 AM	#28- Civilian takes it upon themselves to challenge every monster on behalf of the party (which leaves them confused as to why they are constantly being accused of saying things that they've never said before). ;) #29- A little child runs up to the PCs and cheerfully says "Excuse me, but the big wed flying munster says that he wants to say hi to you with his bweath." Same child then turns and waves excitedly at the appropriate CR Red Dragon hovering overhead. :dragon:
Herald@Large 03-27-07, 07:41 PM	30. "I'm allergic to cats, so I shot that one that's been following the wizard around."
DrBaltar 03-27-07, 07:52 PM	31. "Hey, look! A Dragon! Let's poke it and see if it's dead!"
yellowdingo 03-31-07, 04:21 AM	32. Princess Lavinia (age8) walks up to your Paladin/Knight and Says: "I Want to be like you when i grow Up. I too desire to smell of Battle Sweat and Dragon Smoke."-Jane and the Dragon Quote