| Post/Author/DateTime | Post |
|---|---|
| rulerofDarkness09-08-06, 10:34 PM | post yours here as well. 1 Kobolds..... with guns. 2 Bugbears with a dragon. 3 Four boulder traps in a sealed room. 4 One word: Gods. 5 Sic a taarusque on em. 6 and your pcs wonder why your going easy on them. 7 when you acheive a tpk you do a happy dance. 8 Devils bow down to you:devil: 9 you kill pladins dialy. 10 you cheer for the gaint shark thats eating tyoko in the movies. thats all for now. |
| Vestigial_Thumb09-08-06, 11:00 PM | 11. Crazy coked out Wall Street type of guy with a meat cleaver and an Uzi, talking way too much about zombies for his own good. Most disturbing is that he's covered with blood. 12. An way too tactically capable Ogre. 13. A Dragon. 14. An Elf. No I'm just messing with you. :) 15. A pit trap with lions in it. And sharks. |
| Uratoh09-08-06, 11:02 PM | 16. Awakaned shark Sorcerers with Scorching Ray. |
| rulerofDarkness09-08-06, 11:05 PM | 17 You say heck with it and make all the pc's drop dead for no reason 18 a gaint half dargon gorgon. 19 and still your pcs comment on what a good mood your in today 20 you bump into a necromacer on the street and the necro run away in fear 21 you build a iron golem in real life and run a mafia through it. |
| Vestigial_Thumb09-08-06, 11:20 PM | 22. "But I didn't see you roll the dice." Repeat until player rolls low. |
| rulerofDarkness09-08-06, 11:23 PM | 23 Bring laser gun to sesion shoot any player who acts stupid with it. 24 and then shoot the others just for the heck of it. |
| Vestigial_Thumb09-08-06, 11:29 PM | 25. Blatantly ignoring a rule, like so: "Yes, I'm looking straight at the text where you say that rule is. I don't see anything." Of course, all of this is said while reading the rule over. |
| rulerofDarkness09-08-06, 11:36 PM | 26 4 words dire bat demigod monks 27 you make a pc kiss your feet for the privlage to be owned by you. 28 you watch rosane 29 you play poker with the devil..... 30 and win:evillaugh |
| syrinth09-08-06, 11:53 PM | 31. You roll stats for dragons and other important BBEGs, ignoring the low rolls :evillaugh 32. You consider every session a failure unless your name is cursed at least once. |
| Brotha_T09-09-06, 01:24 AM | 33. Spelling errors 34. Opening 1001 threads |
| Monsco09-09-06, 02:25 AM | 35: three words: Paragon pit fiend 36: a random explosive progectile. 37: torture your players with home rules. |
| rulerofDarkness09-09-06, 09:52 AM | 38 4 words half dragon pit feind 39 When you enter the room all warmth is sucked out of it. 40 Even lord voldemort cringes at your name. |
| oxybe09-09-06, 10:04 AM | 41) you own the collosal red dragon (not so) mini... and you use it... on the 1st level party... repeatedly |
| Vestigial_Thumb09-09-06, 03:57 PM | 42. Steal your players' Mountain Dew. If they try to stop you, kill their characters. |
| Tharin G'tal09-09-06, 04:25 PM | 43) Darkness trap immediately followed by a 200ft drop into a vat of acid 44) Roll up all your bad guys re-rolling anything below a four...oh alright a five. |
| Mentality09-09-06, 05:40 PM | 41) you own the collosal red dragon (not so) mini... and you use it... on the 1st level party... repeatedly45)You intend to borrow your players collosal red dragon (definitely not) mini just to use it against him :devil: |
| rulerofDarkness03-03-07, 09:43 PM | 46 Gaint half dragon kobolds 47 with guns 48 Yet the PCs still say what a good mood you are in today.. 49 you consider the sesion a failure unless you acheive 400 TPKS 50 Your pcs have a well deserved inferority complex... |
| Nyt04-01-08, 02:46 AM | I am Nyt i have raised this thread -Nyt the Black, dread threadromancer |
| Demetri_Knighthawk04-01-08, 11:36 AM | 47 down a 10 foot wide hallway a 9X9X9 foot pit opens in the floor to spikes below, a 10X10X10 foot block drops from the celing one round later blocking off the hallway. |
| WilliamTanner04-01-08, 02:04 PM | 52. The players find a magic platinum coin .. that has an appetite for gold coins. |
| Talaisan04-01-08, 02:56 PM | 53) Half Force Dragon Paragon Elder Titan. 54) With 30 levels of Fighter. 55) Riding anything of comparable badassness. 56) Anything from the Elder Evils book. 57) Two words. Apocalypse Ponies. |
| Lineov04-01-08, 09:39 PM | 58. Underwater tiger ninjas... sometimes a DM mighas well just say "F*** you!" 59. Flying Kobolds with guns. 60. Flying NINJA kobolds with guns. 61. They're on fire too. 62. Bards... crap ton of bards. 63. While they're drunk. |
| pigknight04-01-08, 11:06 PM | 64. Two words: half-dragon tarresque. |
| Cranewings04-01-08, 11:18 PM | 65: Make them fight Raistlin. 66: Do a startrek crossover, make them fight Klingons 67: or ferangi back when they had laser whips and hissed like cats. |
| The_Black_Hand04-01-08, 11:27 PM | 16. Awakaned shark Sorcerers with Scorching Ray. 68) How about Ill-tempeted Mutated Sea Bass ? Guess the people right after me can't count, oh well. |
| razilen04-02-08, 04:04 AM | dam i put in so many idea it went to 84.. oh well i cant be stuffed writting them again... bludy black out.... |
| Half_Dragon_Infernal04-02-08, 08:24 AM | 68) Make mutant kittens with elder evil stats. As in, THE elder evil. Sign=confusion fog. Actual Elder Evil=Tiny size, uses kitten as base creature, add all the basic Elder Evil stuff, add 100 of the choker's quickness, and an ability that makes any creature bitten by the Elder Evil a Spawn of Kitten in 2d4 rounds. |
| snakeman83004-02-08, 11:26 AM | 69. Give them a Beloved of Chemosh (template's in the back of Amber and Ashes) with about 30 levels of scorcerer to fight and "forget" to tell them how to kill it. EDIT: Or, do tell them and let them see if they're willing to take that risk. |
| Bloodsoul04-02-08, 12:31 PM | 70. Rocks fall, you all die. |
| Dunsel04-02-08, 12:47 PM | 71. Githyanki riding red Dragons. |
| themocaw04-02-08, 02:20 PM | 72: Give them about half a million gold each in treasure, have them go to the City of Brass or Sigil and spend it on whatever they want from the DMG. The instant they leave the mage mart with their uber-powerful magic items, they get ambushed by a hundred epic wizards using Mordenkainen's Disjunction. |
| Bobfred2104-02-08, 03:05 PM | Players: We go to sleep... Do we wake up? DM: No. |
| Half_Dragon_Infernal04-02-08, 05:59 PM | 74) Have them meet a mirror party, but A. Switch genders and B. make them succubi or incubi. |
| Orzhvo_Patriach04-02-08, 06:31 PM | 75.) have the PC's find a frist level goblin warrior with a tattoo that reads "I prepared explosive runes this morning." |
| snakeman83004-02-08, 06:36 PM | 76. Cast Blindness on the archer/caster until they fail the save. 77. Curse the bard so he's mute |
| turalisj04-02-08, 06:43 PM | 78) Tell them you are running Tomb of Horrors next. 79) Run ToH, but not tell them 80) Kobold warblades 81) Kobold Warlocks 82) Kobold Ninja More coming later, but going to watch a movie right now... |
| DungeonOverlord04-03-08, 04:29 AM | 83. You frequently pluralize the word Tarrasque 84. Insist that the Commoner is a decent class and have your players pick it 85. Then disallow any player stats above 10, due to them being "unrealistic" 86. Then run the tomb of horrors module 87. You own a real life copy of the Book of Vile Darkness 88. You've considered using War Duke for fodder, get 'em while they're still 1st level. 89. Have all enemies where "I'm actually a polymorphed Paladin being held hostage, Save me" signs 90. Place an innocuous rock that says "Pick me up", upon touching the rock reverse implosion, no save |
| Half_Dragon_Infernal04-03-08, 08:00 AM | 91) Target the PC's clothes with shatter. Then face the mirror party I mentioned above. |
| pintslayer04-03-08, 09:57 PM | 92: Your Paladin finds the much-maligned... ...Codpiece of Chlymidia!!:shocked: Then, a quest to find a Cleric that can both cure him of his social disease and doesn't know the Paladin's mom. Note to rules lawyers: I realize Paladins are immune to disease, but it's still funny. |
| CheesieM0nkies04-04-08, 07:04 AM | 93. DMPC 94. DMPCs 95. You keep track of your TPKs 96. With the NASA core computer 97. And you ran out of room 98. Plasma Guns 99. Kobolds with Plasma guns 100. Flying, Quadruple rocket-launcher wielding termites with magic missle wands stuck to their heads 101. A cursed brooch of sheilding that makes magic missles deal x4 dmg instead of negtaing them 102. All your dragons open with: Where is the ketchup? 103. The weiner dog bites you. You die 104. Make a reflex save. You failed? You die 105. Make a reflex save. You passed? You die 106. Its immune to melee. 107. Its Immune to magic 108. Its immune to life, melee and magic 109. Chuck Noris full attacks you 110. (takes out the labrador reteriver sleeping on the ground and places on map) This is the kobold. (Crumbles up a peice of moldy bread) This is you guys |
| snakeman83004-04-08, 10:21 AM | 111. Random encounter : Tarrasque 112. After they've beaten #111, have them fight the Tarrasque. This time with 20 scorcer levels. |
| Talaisan04-04-08, 11:36 AM | Killing your PCs isn't all that evil if they don't suffer first. 113) Target them for obliteration by the thieves guild and assassins guild. Take everything and then kill them. 114) Have the evil mastermind send them out on quests, through a neutral intermediary. Having the heroes jump starting armageddon ought to put those do-gooders in their place! 115) study the evil overlord's handbook. It will make your players cry. |
| snakeman83004-04-08, 01:21 PM | Five words: Rust Monsters, Folugubs, and Destrauns Say goodbye to your PC's gear. |
| T_Baggins04-04-08, 11:34 PM | 116. Your players wouldn't even consider not having a dedicated uber-healer cleric 117. Every pc dips 2 levels of paladin for the level substitution to get level drain immunity 118. Every beggar, wounded soldier, little kid, stray dog, lone maiden, hopping frog etc gets cut down cause they always turn out to be demons, devils, vampires, necromancers, evil gawds in disguise etc 119. They refer to your campaigns as Raven-'whatever your name is'. Ex. "What are we playing tonight?" "Oh I think we are playing RavenDoug." |
| Astroplaque05-22-08, 12:40 PM | Trap door into a funnel into a gelatinious cube on a conveyor belt. PC goes in, cube moves on. |
| Manic Man05-22-08, 12:53 PM | Players: We go to sleep... Do we wake up? DM: No. LOL! Funny :P |
| Master-of-Puppets05-22-08, 02:08 PM | 120. OK, you start in a tavern in Alderaan, you see the deathstar coming from behind the moon, the planet explodes 121. you said you wanted to play what next? 122. roll spell knowldedge - 15 - OK, the dragon is casting heal 123. you start bringing some minis for combat representation and the players see the colosal red dragon(not)mini stiking from the box |
| Midknight_Scourge05-22-08, 02:09 PM | 120. You're players ask If your trying to kill them, you don't bother lying 121. You have your players' souls stolen by squirrels from the plane of shadow 122. You have the stats for darkmantles on the inside of your DM screen 123. You're favourite trap is a DC 32 prismatic wall, behind a DC 35 halucinatory terrain of the tunnel continuing normally. 124. You use hobble traps on 1st level scouts. 125. You have an insane sorcerer that randomly colour-sprays/ tasha's hideous laughters low level parties and peals their faces off so he can show off the faces of the old characters to the new characters just before they meet the same fate. |
| arderkrag05-22-08, 02:13 PM | 126. You create draconic versions of the Tarrasque, complete with age categories. |
| BubaDragon05-22-08, 02:29 PM | <Yes I did count the list> 130) Koobolds 257,000 of them. 131) Followed by 367,000 Orcs. 132) Convince them to drink from a magic fountain that erases thier memory 133) And makes them want to take up gardening. 134) Roll dice frequently, just to keep them on thier toes. 135) Ask them for random saves, for no reason. 136) Give them so much gold that the fighter has to carry it and becomes encumbered, then have them charmed by a local gang and tricked into beliving that a 1% conversion rate is a really good deal. 137) Have them find a horde of very valuable gems, then make them destroy them one at a time to escape a series of traps. 138) The Runeblade Stormbringer... |
| nowiwantmydmg05-22-08, 02:53 PM | 139) You have a fireplace that is always burning, yet the only thing you put in it are dead character sheets. |
| Binky05-22-08, 05:47 PM | 140. "So for the random encounted you see a wolf. With every template in existence ever." 141. "Why yes, I have seen your loved ones. They were taken across the ROTGRUB OCEAN. How's your swimming?" 142. The paladin has to make saves every day versus Morality undone. Every day. |
| arderkrag05-23-08, 06:49 AM | <Yes I did count the list> 138) The Runeblade Stormbringer... Elric rocks. Second favorite fantasy character after Conan. |
| CheesieM0nkies05-23-08, 07:47 AM | 142. You scream at the top of your lungs YES whenever you roll a 20 attacking the players |
| Midknight_Scourge05-23-08, 10:34 AM | 143. Same as previous, except sometimes its not a 20 but you say it is anyway |
| Master-of-Puppets05-23-08, 03:02 PM | 144. just bringing one character today Bob? you feel confident today 145. Ok, your new elf ranger enters the scene, the blood of your former warrior splats his shirt 146. no there is no resurrection in my epic campaigh either why? |
| themocaw05-23-08, 04:47 PM | 147. "Suddenly, a herd of tarrasque. . ." |
| InsaneEngineer05-24-08, 07:27 AM | 142. You scream at the top of your lungs YES whenever you roll a 20 attacking the players I'm guilty of this one. |
| Omni-Wyvernil05-24-08, 07:41 AM | 148. An NPC runs out of the room and manages to gasp out that he was attacked by Orc*cough*s before dying. When the PCs run into the room, figuring that they'll have an easy fight with some Orcs, they discover too late that the dead NPC was actually saying he was attacked by Orcus. :D |
| Swxpert07-28-08, 11:22 PM | 149. say "I brought Music for the final fight" plays " One Winged Angel" |
| Cpt_Micha07-29-08, 01:00 AM | 150 You break your your special Sound Track for the final fight. Duel of the Fates. 151 You have a pc that has died 7 times, in less than 7 minutes. Same character. Not counting his ghost's death. 152 One of your pcs die, due to hair tonic 153 Your casters don't even bother anymore 154 Your idea of a fun easy challenge is an 866 hit die or leveled Red Dragon Half Fiend named Maklavar |
| Monza07-29-08, 01:12 AM | 155 You make a monster who can summon gods as a free action |
| Mr_Seth07-29-08, 01:17 AM | 156. GM: "You see a goblin sitting on a stump. He demands all your gold as tribute for entering his land." Player: "Huh? What does this goblin look like?" GM: "He's on the big side for a goblin, bare chested and unarmored, with a really thick belt." Player: "I bring out my sword and point it at him, telling him to buzz off." GM: "The goblin leaps up and slaps you in the face." *rolls* "Your head whips around and your neck snaps; you're dead." Player: "WHAT?" GM: "Massive damage, sorry." Player: "How did-" GM: "Never taunt a goblin monk with a Belt of Dragon's Might." |
| Swxpert07-29-08, 02:32 AM | 157. DM: you guys heard of the Chernabog, right?:P |
| CCS07-29-08, 12:01 PM | I'm an evil, lethal, Gygaxian style DM & I tell the players this upfront. Really, you don't need 1001 clues at my table. :) |