Post/Author/DateTime	Post
MasonMurdoc 02-23-07, 05:10 PM	We had a 3 hour session today and because of two of the players we only got 30 minutes of game time This thread is for DMs who have to deal with players who, no matter what, don't even try to stop or make up for it I'll start 1) Kill off there characters. Simplee, cruel, and effective
Olskool 02-23-07, 05:13 PM	2. Make em sit in a corner with a D&Dunce hat on.... And also kill their characters.
Dontan 02-23-07, 05:18 PM	3) The folding chair... 4) "Hey guys, I was looking on the WotC forums and saw some cool stuff on '1001 Clever Traps'!" 5) "Have you guys heard of Tomb Of Horrors? Nope? Good..."
mcnoo 02-23-07, 05:37 PM	1) Kill off there characters. Simplee, cruel, and effective 6) Don't stop at their characters, kill their pets.
The ShapeLess One 02-23-07, 05:49 PM	7. The ten mile high pillar of doom is a group favorite. Just take one player out with it once, and all you have to do is mention one difting bye on the jet stream. They will behave
Larriston 02-23-07, 05:52 PM	The Toilet of Transportation. Sitting on.....standing within 18".....touching.....sticking your head inside of... Transports you to the cave of a large Blue dragon that is being held captive by a very strong......whatever. You arrive naked and disoriented...the dragon says " hello you are number ??? and then eats you. I was # 294. Never...never stick your head in a toilet.
benjamin385 02-23-07, 05:57 PM	I am going to enjoy this :devil: 8) put an killer rabbit in a dungeon that can ignore armor (not ac ; just the armor bonues that armor he/she is wearing;making the armor useless) and give it an hunger for for the misbehaving characters race. 9) make a door that when a misbehaving character tries to open it, it gives them a good jolt of electricity. (4d6 damage; 2d6 if succedes reflex save) 10) when the misbehaving character refuses to give up an super-powerful item when he uses it for the first time have all the effects backfire on him/her. 11)trap them in the elemental plane of fire.(with no way to escape) 12)have a vampire kill him/her while he sleeps and make him into a legion of the undead. 13) Have a god kill him by flicking him a couple hundred miles when he gets mad at the character. 14) just tell the player(s) who are misbehaving to go home. 15) Have an meteor imact on the planet wiping out most life. forcing your entire party to start new characters in a apocoliptic setting. Make sure the misbehaveing ones are in the main blast radius. 16) Have an Horde of goblins attack the only the misbehaving charcaters.
3DJutsu 02-23-07, 05:57 PM	6) Don't stop at their characters, kill their pets. My DM did that one once, I wasn't even doing anything wrong. My Ranger's wolf was by my Ranger, group is fighting a Colossal centepide. I'm poppin arrows at it and the party monk(some insane psycrystal winged combo w/ VoP) is beating the hell out of it. The DM had the thing IGNORE the monk go about 30+ft past him and CUT MY F*CKING WOLF IN TWO!!! For NO reason! :weep: Also how where they being disruptive?
mcnoo 02-23-07, 06:00 PM	My DM did that one once, I wasn't even doing anything wrong. My Ranger's wolf was by my Ranger, group is fighting a Colossal centepide. I'm poppin arrows at it and the party monk(some insane psycrystal winged combo w/ VoP) is beating the hell out of it. The DM had the thing IGNORE the monk go about 30+ft past him and CUT MY F*CKING WOLF IN TWO!!! For NO reason! :weep: Also how where they being disruptive? I meant grab hold of their gerbil and threaten to squeeze if they don't focus on the game.
PHDrillSergeant 02-23-07, 06:03 PM	Gerbicide! Yay! Anyways... 17.) Throw pencils at them. 18.) Force-feed them arsenic. 19.) Remove 25 xp for every minute of time they have wasted. 20.) Force-feed them their dice. (Then make a thread about it on the WotC board...) 21.) Switch their character's gender. 22. )Force-feed them their character sheet. 23.) Have them make a DC 31 save vs. Death. 24.) Force-feed them their dice, wrapped in their charactersheet which you have dipped in arsenic. 25.) Take away their rights to eat snacks.
Sareld 02-23-07, 07:24 PM	26) Continue DMing even though the steves arent listening. Make sure that the party encounters something that requires immediate action to survive, such as having the party spot an avalance/pyroclastic flow/horde of heavily armed brigands advancing on their position, and kill all characters whos players arent paying attention. 27) Ask the disruptive players to leave. If they want to spend a gaming session talking about that chick from last weekend, they can do that some place else. 28) Place fairly obivous traps everywhere. The players will simply need to pay attention to the game to avoid them, and they will eventually kill themselves if they dont.
danielinthewolvesden 02-23-07, 08:03 PM	We had a 3 hour session today and because of two of the players we only got 30 minutes of game time This thread is for DMs who have to deal with players who, no matter what, don't even try to stop or make up for it I'll start 1) Kill off there characters. Simplee, cruel, and effective Sit down and talk with them like adults. Try it.
ZolDarklock 02-23-07, 10:34 PM	how can players disrupt a game, either their playing, or there PC is dying all alone... seem to me if they weren't playing it's because the DM wasn't either...hmmm maybe it's not players, maybe it's a useless DM problem... let's start a new thread on how to kill off stupid DM's
PHDrillSergeant 02-23-07, 10:36 PM	Sit down and talk with them like adults. Try it. Mature, sure. But much less fun.
Raymond_Luxury_Yacht 02-23-07, 11:56 PM	I meant grab hold of their gerbil and threaten to squeeze if they don't focus on the game. That results in what is known as "justifiable homicide". Or maybe it's the "white pork special". I always confuse the two.
Drausktanchache 02-24-07, 01:00 AM	have them fight someone with the Sword of Blood Sword of blood: 15-20/x2 when it starts treat it as a longsword (med size) 1d3 con on hit. 1d6 con on Crit Crit: This sword purges blood through the skin of it's foes, and grows larger, (+1 die) non-crit: The sword made of purely blood splashes, causing damage, but it lowers the damage next hit.
Senevri 02-24-07, 01:17 AM	Well... Nah, this isn't the thread to be mature or sensible. 30) Kill them! Kill them all! Bwahahaha! ... No, I didn't mention anything 'bout any player characters.
MasonMurdoc 02-24-07, 04:06 AM	how can players disrupt a game, either their playing, or there PC is dying all alone... seem to me if they weren't playing it's because the DM wasn't either...hmmm maybe it's not players, maybe it's a useless DM problem... let's start a new thread on how to kill off stupid DM's Our DM does get destracted easily, and at times YES he did start joining it, we all did every now and then. Thats why it was distracting. But when we did, one of us was like "DM!" or "Player C". But you cant blame the DM, he seriously was trying. The players were doing this disruptive player1: Hey, Jimmy Me: *looks at him* Disruptive player1&2:*Burst out laughing* They ha no reason to laugh what so ever Sit down and talk with them like adults. Try it. Everyone one of us tried that. But thay just laughed at us. 31)Castration can be fun:devil: in-game or out 32)Take away there copy of WoW
johnkretzer 02-24-07, 04:56 AM	Our DM does get destracted easily, and at times YES he did start joining it, we all did every now and then. Thats why it was distracting. But when we did, one of us was like "DM!" or "Player C". But you cant blame the DM, he seriously was trying. The players were doing this disruptive player1: Hey, Jimmy Me: *looks at him* Disruptive player1&2:*Burst out laughing* They ha no reason to laugh what so ever Everyone one of us tried that. But thay just laughed at us. 31)Castration can be fun:devil: in-game or out 32)Take away there copy of WoW Well have you looked in a mirror lately? Just joking I couldn't resist the set up. :D 33) Give them a copy of WoW.
Bedevere 02-24-07, 07:12 AM	34) start counting down to zero. Starting from their characters level...
zzakk2to2 02-24-07, 10:57 AM	35. have their character put in jail then ravaged from behind by a burly prisoner 36. reduce their characters charisma to 1 then make every person they meet do a DC100 will save from kicking them in the balls the telling a your so ugly joke
wigrid22 02-24-07, 12:46 PM	37. "You die." 38. Petrify them, then have a mad sculptor come along and chisel their faces into interesting rhomboid shapes. Then he casts Stone to Flesh on them. 39. Send them to the Plane of Chaos. Not that watered-down "Limbo" place. Just a total chaos plane. Have something amusing happen every few seconds (ground turns to water... rain of furniture... holes opening out of nowhere... the air turns to toxic gas... etc.) 40. Use the Buffalo of Irresistible Following.
TimelordSimone 02-24-07, 12:49 PM	You realize that this is exactly the reason we decided that those two weren't allowed to sit next to each other. They distract each other. Which distracts other people. I would also like to point out, that a lot of the things on here seem to be about characters misbehaving.... Which isn't really relevant. (I'm in his group as well. I rule.)
ArcTan 02-24-07, 12:53 PM	1) Tell them "I'm sorry, but I don't think it's working out, and I'd prefer if you didn't play in my games anymore". That's really the only one you should ever need. Doing anything else is willfully disrupting your *own* game, at which point you've lost the moral high ground.
PHDrillSergeant 02-24-07, 12:55 PM	41.) Begin counting up, starting with their character's level. When you reach 35, have their character ascend to godhood. Since their character is now no longer associated with mortal affairs, force the player to make a new character.
darkhellion21 02-24-07, 01:12 PM	You could always just use Call Lightning to kill them and reincarnate the characters into squirrels. ;)
s4ndm4n 02-24-07, 01:20 PM	I have an Idea!It worked once! I had some PCs that were serious players, but used 2 f**k around a lot. I created an NPC party in detail, ideal in class-skill selection . Then i had the NPC dudes compete the PCs in every way imaginable. If they fail at something, the NPCs save the day in a VERY humiliating way and get all the credit. The PCs got outraged, so they putted more effort next time. Eventually they killed every 1 of the NPCs . This method requires your friends to like playing DnD, Not to be 1st-timers,and not to be bored easily (hence the "serious players"). have fun DMin'
freedeath 02-24-07, 01:26 PM	42?) Seduce their girlfriends.
Raymond_Luxury_Yacht 02-24-07, 01:32 PM	39. Send them to the Plane of Chaos. Not that watered-down "Limbo" place. Just a total chaos plane. Have something amusing happen every few seconds (ground turns to water... rain of furniture... holes opening out of nowhere... the air turns to toxic gas... etc.) So, Limbo, but less chaotic.
BalobianKnight 02-24-07, 01:48 PM	43?) rocks fall everybody dies
PHDrillSergeant 02-24-07, 02:33 PM	44.) Set the disruptive players on fire. 45.) Leave the disrupted players naked in a field. 46.) Strip the disruptive players naked, set them on fire, and [i]then[i] leave them in the middle of a field. - I'm still here.
zzakk2to2 02-24-07, 02:35 PM	a knee to the right place can do wonders it can do even more wonders if its their own:D
Saberus 02-24-07, 02:52 PM	Hit them with this monster: 48)Wandering Damage (CR: whatever) This creature is the conglomeration of excessive damage inflicted on creatures. It seeks to stop silliness and disruptive behavior across the world. Combat Gygaxian Resistance (Ex) This creature has no stat block, Infinite Speed of all types, Infinite Reach, it automatically hits any number of targets every round, and is immune to all damage, death effects, mind-affecting, and, well, ANYTHING. Damage When Wandering Damage hits, it can choose to inflict any amount of damage. This damage ignores all Damage Reduction, Spell Resistance, and concealment/cover. Damage inflicted in this manner is unaffected by Regeneration, Fast Healing, Magical Healing, the Heal skill, and Natural Healing. Wandering Damage may choose to permit one or more types of healing if it chooses. This damage affects undead, shapechanged creatures, and constructs normally. It appears as a vortex of red energy, if you want it to be seen.
xrabohrok 02-24-07, 03:29 PM	xyz) Casually mention how intently you were reading this thread. They'll get the picture
Senevri 02-24-07, 04:05 PM	All of these ARE really stupid - doing something petty to the characters is really taking an out-of-game problem in-game. Thus, my suggestion. But... if we're talking of stress-relief for DMs - aside from making silly suggestions in threads like this... 49 - fine, 50) Your next adventure? Tomb of Horrors.
chimp man 02-24-07, 05:32 PM	?. pun-pun ?+1. botemles pit(s) ?+2 it is dark you are likly to be eaten by grue. ?+3 demon in a pit ?+4 yuan-ti on a airship ?+5 epic kobold lair (kobolds are great trap builders) :P
wigrid22 02-24-07, 06:24 PM	So, Limbo, but less chaotic. In the grand, abstract, cosmic sense, yes. But then, a miasma of hurtling, roiling elemental chaos isn't anywhere near as amusing as burying your players beneath an avalanche of giant d20s that suddenly turn into a horde of amorous clowns.
Raymond_Luxury_Yacht 02-24-07, 06:34 PM	In the grand, abstract, cosmic sense, yes. But then, a miasma of hurtling, roiling elemental chaos isn't anywhere near as amusing as burying your players beneath an avalanche of giant d20s that suddenly turn into a horde of amorous clowns. Sounds like Limbo to me.
Drausktanchache 02-24-07, 06:39 PM	I've got a creature, neigh impossible to beat, unless you have a staff of rending...=) STAFF OF RENDING disintigrate on touch, no save (people im my long ago forgotten campaign actually ended up haveing resistance towards disintigrate =))
wigrid22 02-24-07, 07:13 PM	Sounds like Limbo to me. Then the Manual of the Planes fails miserably at describing Limbo.
zzakk2to2 02-24-07, 07:14 PM	Hit them with this monster: 48)Wandering Damage (CR: whatever) This creature is the conglomeration of excessive damage inflicted on creatures. It seeks to stop silliness and disruptive behavior across the world. Combat Gygaxian Resistance (Ex) This creature has no stat block, Infinite Speed of all types, Infinite Reach, it automatically hits any number of targets every round, and is immune to all damage, death effects, mind-affecting, and, well, ANYTHING. Damage When Wandering Damage hits, it can choose to inflict any amount of damage. This damage ignores all Damage Reduction, Spell Resistance, and concealment/cover. Damage inflicted in this manner is unaffected by Regeneration, Fast Healing, Magical Healing, the Heal skill, and Natural Healing. Wandering Damage may choose to permit one or more types of healing if it chooses. This damage affects undead, shapechanged creatures, and constructs normally. It appears as a vortex of red energy, if you want it to be seen. I do nothing to it for a sideways 8:D after all the oppisite of anything is nothing and because undead are hurt by healing spells but healed by hurting spells it should work.
Senevri 02-25-07, 06:58 AM	's not undead. 57) A white Arbyfish. Relevant rules for Arbyfish: Ya can't beat an Arbyfish(ex): Wouldn't be proper if ya could.
mkill 02-25-07, 11:01 AM	We had a 3 hour session today and because of two of the players we only got 30 minutes of game time This thread is for DMs who have to deal with players who, no matter what, don't even try to stop or make up for it 0.) "Steve, we'll have a session next week and you are not invited." This solution is so basic, I'll put it at zero. Really, if free time is important to you, don't waste is on people that ruin your game.
johnhansen 02-25-07, 12:17 PM	69.)Ignore them. Concentrate on the player or players and their character or characters who do wish to play D&D and give out XP and treasure for that encounter right after that encounter just to the characters who were involved. This will reward the players and their characters who wish to play. Warning be sure that the problem in the first place wasn't that you were already ignoring them and the characters.
stackmachine 02-25-07, 02:19 PM	1. Present one player to the new TIME-OUT-CORNER. Let him sit there for the amount of time he already burned. Does his buddy get the messege? If not, let him join the giggleclub and you will have order at your table. if this doesnt work: 2. Ask them why they keep coming to your table. Clearly, it's not for the game. if this doesnt work: 3. Force them into roleplaying, by directly talking to them as an NPC-cleric of conciderable power. If they giggle away, have them arrested + brought before a LN inquisition. Still giggling? Yell "By Pelor! They are insane. OR even possest by some evil!" Torture. Take teeth, ears, then limbs. Take permanent stat damage. Still giggling? Dump the living remains into the mud in front of Pelors church yelling "You are healed, praise Pelor, the foul spirits that lived in your bodies have been purged. Your are free!" Still giggling? Drag them inside again. if this doesnt work: 4. If they incriminate themselves, have them arrested, stripped of citizen status + sold as slaves. roleplay slavery in some forgotten, rotten mine of the drow, saving versus insanity/ starvation each twice each session. At least the insanity would explain the giggling + could be awarded rp-xp :). Have them roll for their quota of ore about 500 times. Continue like this for 3 sessions. IF they turn up for the fourth session, ask if they want to continue diggin ore + further disrespect the DM, or not. if this doesnt work: 5. Give a Geas/ Quest to them. Add mark of justice. They might get the hint. if this doesnt work: 6. Use the old dead relative coming by at night ploy: they are woken by the corpse of their ...... (whatever fits their backstory). Through muddy chockings he/she tells your heroes about the great dissapointment they are to the family. They are concidered a failure. Then fire the dead daddy/mummy up as a maximised, time-delayed corpsebomb, inflicting some terrible disease and making them outcasts of society. if this doesnt work: 7. Send a letter. My favorites: maximised explosive runes or rune of eyeball implosion (homebrewed, idea from kodt). if this doesnt work: 8. Test their wits: give them the head of Vecna and discuss who gets their head chopped off. If this works, laugh maniacally. :) if this doesnt work: 9. Make them henchmen in service of the other, more willing players. Let them guard the horses. Every sucky job there is. Have the serious players handle punishment, if they dont brush the horses properly or fail to prepare breakfast + supper after the dungeon. Award only 5 % XP for their minor services + measly overall contribution. if this doesnt work: 10. Have them at the mercy of a coldly calculating BBEG, who happens to have no sense of humor at all. Talk in character the whole encounter. He might cut out their tongues if they dont watch it. If this happens, emphasise on the next giggling that they should only manage to make a rasping sound, while spitting globs of coagulated blood. Giggles would be inappropriate in their state. Sign-language should be okay. If they can't cope with that, award no xp for a badly played encounter. if this doesnt work: 11. Yell at them in-character, best playing a magistrate or king, playing a major offense. Impose severe penalties for trade + services in your gameworld. 10 times for food + drink, 10% tradevalue for loot for the ENTIRE group. Greater curses for the ENTIRE group, until the offense is undone. Let the serious players know about a good assassin. I could continue, but well, that'll do. Have fun!
LostMage 02-25-07, 02:27 PM	70) Assume that everything that they say is in character, then respond accordingly.
Amon_WinterfallIV 02-25-07, 06:01 PM	71: Arrow to the Neck (How could anyone forget this??) 72: The DMPC who PKs them when the DM gets annoyed. 73: The Characters are hit are hit with a bestow curse that forces them to act very quickly OOC or they lose their turn.
zombieoverlord 02-25-07, 08:26 PM	74. devise something creative using porkchops, a swimming pool, and a piano. :D
Drausktanchache 02-25-07, 08:34 PM	7. Send a letter. My favorites: maximised explosive runes or rune of eyeball implosion (homebrewed, idea from kodt). "Hey Guys, guess what! I prepared Explosive runes today!!!!"
Ameture Expert 02-25-07, 09:02 PM	As a reasonable adult, I side with the NPC rival scheme, just asking them to leave politely, and ignoring them. As a guy who hates lost time on both ends of the table and a being of compulsive humor... 75) Hire a professional bouncer to hurt them when ever they start wasting time. 76) Tell them the group will meet somewhere next week and hold the game somewhere else compleatly. 77) Gain incriminating photos of them and blackmail them into actually playing. 78) Throw eggs at their cars. 79) Throw eggs at them. 80) Literally throw them out. If possible, the bouncer from #75 can do this for you.
LordofIllusions 02-25-07, 09:57 PM	81. Make them work at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, live in a rooming house(or a hotel), and have them spend more money on video games than they do on food to eat. That would describe two of my past disasters I booted from the game, but it describes one guy to a tee. 82. Take away their video game console. 83. Let the other players see what kind of a jerk their characters are and allow the group to wreak havoc on their character in-game. After all if their character acts like a moron, people in the campaign world will certainly treate them like one. 84. Send them here to post negative threads about D&D all day rather than actually playing the game. ~~~
Larriston 02-26-07, 10:56 AM	I told our thief " do not steal while in this temple, if you do. I will shoot you" He didn't listen.I shot an arrow through his foot and left him pinned to the temple floor until I decided to go rescue him.
MasonMurdoc 02-26-07, 11:58 AM	70) Assume that everything that they say is in character, then respond accordingly. I love this one I'm sooooo suggesing this to my DM :D Just thought I'd point out The players were giggling and misbehaving Not the characters
LostMage 02-26-07, 01:09 PM	Yeah, it was great. "What do you mean, 'That's not fair?' who are you speaking too? Are you sane?" etc. They all roleplayed for the rest of the session.
MasonMurdoc 02-26-07, 01:32 PM	Ok one of the said disrupters is canceling our session Because he has a party Shall we accept the cancel after he ruined our game last time 82) Kill them......and make there PCs into NPCs
Alastor_Sevryn 02-26-07, 01:41 PM	oh, good stuff... 85...i think...tell them a portal appears. they are pulled through. waiting for them is the Tarasque, along with 20 century worms. 86. DMPC, who is 10 levels higher than the annoying ones, kills said annoying ones. 87. I agree with Lost Mage: Take everything they say as in-game comments. Act accordingly. 88. threaten to not DM anymore. If they think they can do it better, let them. 89. EXP/level loss. These are all funny things to do. In all seriousness, tho, my best idea is to keep going. if they ignore something important and their characters die because of it, too bad.
Sajek 02-26-07, 01:50 PM	90. Have them captured by a cult of yuan-ti who forcibly give them sex changes. The non-magical way. 91. Put superglue in their chair before they sit in it. Only give them the solvent if they promise to be good next time. 92. #90, but to their characters.
BrainTag 02-26-07, 03:29 PM	93) have the complete party captured, number of PC's will be released when they agree on who to sacrifice... guess who will be left behind? I love the complete roleplaying scenario... just take everything for "real"... they'll be dead or learning very quickly! - "you're giggling alerted the guards" - apply six second rule during combat, not paying attention means your turn is over, better luck next round If they are not adding ANYTHING to the party, ask them to stay away. If this is just a phase, see if you can show them the light by hitting them on the head using one of the 90-odd solutions offered so far. Maybe if one of them is not there next time (by coincidence.. because you forgot to cancel the session when he's not available) things will work out. Next session might be better. It's your (party's) call to see if this is worth it... Good luck! BT
Sathery 02-26-07, 10:50 PM	94. Remove the use of their left/right arm. 95. Their character glows constantly creating a -8 on hide checks. 96. Their character "runs into" a potion that makes their scent rancid and grows hair profusely in which they cannot go near anyone or into any towns. This is irremovable. 97. Remind the person/people that are disrupting the game that you will no DM if they will not pay attention.
Saberus 02-27-07, 02:26 AM	90. Have them captured by a cult of yuan-ti who forcibly give them sex changes. The non-magical way. 92. #90, but to their characters. Oh, how deliciously EVIL!(we need a stewie smilie!) I don't know any Yuan-ti cultists, but I have 'friends' that might do that.
mists_cloud 02-27-07, 04:34 AM	98. Give them a ring of protect +6, that instantly transfers to their genitals and then severs their 'parts'.
Cantankerous 02-27-07, 04:50 AM	xxx) sentence them to a game where the DM is worth a damn
Kargush 02-27-07, 06:30 AM	7. The ten mile high pillar of doom is a group favorite. Just take one player out with it once, and all you have to do is mention one difting bye on the jet stream. They will behave Never heard of that. Care to explain the basics for me?
LordofIllusions 02-27-07, 01:18 PM	99. Screen players that want to get into your games like they are applying for a job and most of the disruptive ones will never make it past the screening process anyway. Always keep in mind WotC, and video games, have raised spoiled brats that they like to mistakenly call players today. ~~~
kelvinaw273 02-27-07, 01:58 PM	100. Tell the police that you believe them to be drug dealers and invite an undercover officer to sit in your game, observe their behaviour and have them arrested and cavity searched afterwards. That'll teach them to giggle like a pair of pot-heads ... :evillaugh
WilwarinAndamar 02-27-07, 03:13 PM	101) Our DM's favorite punishment: "The clouds open up and a bolt of lighting strikes three feet in front of you. You are blind for the next three rounds." 102) Give a male character an STD. Have him go to an apothecary and buy a Cursed Cure Disease Potion. (Best revenge EVER.) 103) Have character thrown into a prison in which s/he cannot escape on his/her own. The rest of the party refuses to to break or bail him/her out.
Sathery 02-28-07, 12:01 AM	104. Ask if you can see their d20 for a minute because "It looks cool." and then take it, either for the rest of the game, or forever. 105. Ask to see their character sheet. Keep it for the duration of the game if they don't stop talking. 106. Take XP for every time they talk out of character or out of game.
Aiwen 02-28-07, 03:19 AM	107: have a high level bard take control of their characters and just ignor the fact that they exist for the rest of the eavning. :)
LordofIllusions 02-28-07, 06:37 AM	108. Switch the gaming day without telling them and when they show-up, each week, tell them the game was "cancelled." They will eventually get tired of "showing up for nothing" and stop coming. I actually used this one time, on an extremely argumentative troublemaker--and whiner--that we used to play with, the guy showed up at my place and we had already sped off to go game. I left him a note saying "catch a cab to come meet us" knowing he had no money to do so. ~~~
LordofIllusions 02-28-07, 06:41 AM	[Edit: Double Post] ~~~
rubermavors 02-28-07, 08:21 AM	109) I was always preferrable to the "thumb of the gods" the char. get a seering thumbprint on the forehead as a warning. if they continue, the thumb of a major god squishes them into the ground. 110) a friend used to use giant fruit thrown from olympus. 111) for dwarves, the hammer of moradin hits him on the head everytime he does something wrong, we had a dwarf that ended up being 1'6" and 5' wide looked like a manhole cover
Ahroun21 03-01-07, 07:05 PM	112) high lvl town guard , with a short temper, a very high grapple check, and a penchant for breaking the bones of "troublemakers"
Dei 03-01-07, 07:12 PM	112) high lvl town guard , with a short temper, a very high grapple check, and a penchant for breaking the bones of "troublemakers" 113) Or the alternative a mercenary duo of 1 bloodhound and 1 justicar from complete adventurer and complete warrior respectively. The PC's get on the wrong side of a powerful noble? Nothing, but nothing is going to be getting away from this pair.
MasonMurdoc 03-01-07, 07:25 PM	107: have a high level bard take control of their characters and just ignor the fact that they exist for the rest of the eavning. :) He failed to mention what our bard did instead of ignoring them Chaotic Neutral to the core Sick *******
Chrono Nexus 03-01-07, 07:33 PM	It isn't a DM's job to punish. A game of DnD is a contract: if they break their portion(obeying the rules you put forth, showing up), you aren't holden to yours(DMing them).
LordofIllusions 03-02-07, 07:16 AM	It isn't a DM's job to punish. A game of DnD is a contract: if they break their portion(obeying the rules you put forth, showing up), you aren't holden to yours(DMing them). It is not your job to inform the DMs here as to what actions they should be taking in reference to their disruptive players. But anyway, thanks for informing us of the legal contracts involved with a D&D gaming session. Here is # 114 btw.. 114. Force them to read pro-player rants from PC lawyers on the Wizards boards over and over again until they finally get brain damage from seeing the same tired nonsense being spewed by angry gamers that have been "punished" for trying to ruin games. 115. Force them to play World of Warcraft for hours until they finally go insane from constantly seeing the level of illiteracy online. Make sure they pay close attention to sayings like "noob", "u have an uber cool weepon" or "wanna go on a quizt wit me"? ~~~
Bedevere 03-02-07, 07:20 AM	104. Ask if you can see their d20 for a minute because "It looks cool." and then take it, either for the rest of the game, or forever. This would indeed prove beyond a doubt that they are not fit to game. Anyone who lets someone else touch their dice deserves to be booted from the game INSTANTLY.
Zumarai 03-02-07, 07:47 AM	116. Find their characters weakness (grappling etc), read up on all of the rules pertaining to exploiting that weakness, and go to town, but make it seem like you are completely unbiased. What a tangled web we weave.
LordofIllusions 03-02-07, 08:19 AM	116. Find their characters weakness (grappling etc), read up on all of the rules pertaining to exploiting that weakness, and go to town, but make it seem like you are completely unbiased. What a tangled web we weave. Not a bad idea. ~~~
Zumarai 03-02-07, 09:20 AM	Not a bad idea. ~~~ Thanks - fortunately I've not had to do it very often, but it's nice to know you have something to keep the player/players in check. For the record, I'm not one of these control-freak DM's that thinks he's infallible. Everyone is responsible for a meaningful and fun experience.
Chrono Nexus 03-02-07, 09:23 AM	It is not your job to inform the DMs here as to what actions they should be taking in reference to their disruptive players. But anyway, thanks for informing us of the legal contracts involved with a D&D gaming session. Here is # 114 btw.. Don't be trite. The DM holds no real authority over his players, except for what they allow. And vice versa. And as a member of these forums, offering my opinion is part of why I post here. A game of DnD isn't a legal contract. It's a verbal agreement, where the players agree to obey the DM's rules and his leadership, while the DM agrees to DM them in a way that makes the game enjoyable. If a DM is trying to punish his players like children, he is wasting his time. No amount of "punishment" is going to make them a better player. It is best just to stop DMing them if they can't change their ways on their own. 114. Force them to read pro-player rants from PC lawyers on the Wizards boards over and over again until they finally get brain damage from seeing the same tired nonsense being spewed by angry gamers that have been "punished" for trying to ruin games. I've never tried to ruin a game. And the claim that anyone recognizing the game as being a construct built on mutual enjoyment is a bad player is ludicrous. If you're stuck in a DM vs. Player approach to your games, then you're the one with problems. 115. Force them to play World of Warcraft for hours until they finally go insane from constantly seeing the level of illiteracy online. Make sure they pay close attention to sayings like "noob", "u have an uber cool weepon" or "wanna go on a quizt wit me"? This one I can agree with. Basically, you just stop DMing them.
EvilVegan 03-02-07, 09:54 AM	117. Keep DMing exactly as you have been. Apparently it is too boring to keep their interest and therefore punishment enough.
LordofIllusions 03-02-07, 10:35 AM	117. Keep DMing exactly as you have been. Apparently it is too boring to keep their interest and therefore punishment enough. If it is "boring" common sense would tell them to leave, and find another game, as opposed to continuing to play in a campaign that supposedly "does not hold their interest." Thus your pro-antagonist snipe at DMs has failed miserably. When a video game bores me I turn it off I don't stay and act retarded. ~~~
JadeReaver 03-02-07, 10:58 AM	Disclaimer: yes, talking to the player is the right thing to do, but this is a joke thread. Lighten up folks. :) 118. Invite one of those DMs who insists on "talking with your problem players" to sit down and talk with them about their behaviors. The DM will go insane, or the player will go to sleep. Either way, you win. 119. Tar+Feathers. No, not the PCs . . . 120. Have the God of Irony appear before their characters while at home, stab them in the face, and take all their stuff. 121. Call Chuck Norris . . . he hates (read as eats) annoying people. 122. Ban Mountain Dew from your gaming table. 123. "yeah, for some strange reason, my dog mauls people who make me unhappy," looks at players. "Are you trying to make me unhappy?" * evil grin *
EvilVegan 03-02-07, 11:14 AM	If it is "boring" common sense would tell them to leave, and find another game, as opposed to continuing to play in a campaign that supposedly "does not hold their interest." Thus solving the initial problem of them disrupting the game. Thus your pro-antagonist snipe at DMs has failed miserably. When a video game bores me I turn it off I don't stay and act retarded.That's you, these people apparently do stay and act retarded when bored. My comment wasn't pro-antagonist, it was anti-protagonist. Slight difference. I didn't say anything condoning their activity, I've just noticed that people who disrupt games are typically bored with the game and end up quitting after a session or two, and there's no reason to punish them if they're leaving/not interested. Ask them to quit (either quit playing or quit interrupting), no big. Why punish them? Punish them for not having fun playing by doing something to make them not have fun playing and you'll just encourage them to keep disrupting the game.
narakugaki 03-02-07, 03:01 PM	124) put 2 or more wild animals that are way to powerfull for them to kill in the road ahead with no sign of hostility an see if their unrulyness will make them attack them(i killed one of them this way, 2 bears in the road just walking minding their own bussiness an the pc's thought it a good idea to attack them. party level=2 animals both cr 4's)
LordofIllusions 03-02-07, 10:24 PM	Thus solving the initial problem of them disrupting the game. I said if it is boring to them "common sense" would tell "them" to leave. So....if they are bored, which is the reason they are acting said way "according to you", and they don't leave then they don't have "common sense" thus the problem will never be solved waiting for them to leave and they will continue to disrupt the game. That's you, these people apparently do stay and act retarded when bored. Who says they are "bored"? Do you know these people personally or are you simply injecting your own slanted view into what is actually a maturtity problem? The majority of problematic players I have had actually contact "me" about games and still act a fool once the game is in session. Problematic players that act a fool are usually looking for attention and are actually quite selfish; even the DMG 2 says this is the "root" of the problem. Why not mess with them? Because you will get mad and write corny little anti-DM lines on the Wizards boards. So what? If you don't like the thread, don't participate in it. Otherwise add on to it and stop trying to argue with the DMs here because they don't agree with your pro-antagonist stance. My comment wasn't pro-antagonist, it was anti-protagonist. Slight difference. I didn't say anything condoning their activity, I've just noticed that people who disrupt games are typically bored with the game and end up quitting after a session or two, and there's no reason to punish them if they're leaving/not interested. I've noticed differently, so have many other gamers who see the immature acts in D&D daily. Its actually selfishness and childishness that you are trying to cover by calling it "boredom." Its a house of cards. These players want to stay in the game to disrupt the game, not because they are 'bored" of it. I get "bored" of something I leave it alone, or if it is a video game I turn it off. That's what most adults do, children might act stupid until they get reprimanded. If your going to act like a child why not scold them like one in-game. Arrow to the Neck all the way baby. Punish them for not having fun playing by doing something to make them not have fun playing and you'll just encourage them to keep disrupting the game. Who says they are not having fun. Usually fools have fun acting like fools. That is until the king bashes the fool on the head with his scepter. ~~~
Zankue 03-02-07, 11:14 PM	how can players disrupt a game, either their playing, or there PC is dying all alone... seem to me if they weren't playing it's because the DM wasn't either...hmmm maybe it's not players, maybe it's a useless DM problem... let's start a new thread on how to kill off stupid DM's HOW can players disrupt a game!?! how can players disrupt a game??? you're the luckiest person ever, if you've never seen a disruptive player than consider yourself lucky. Players could talk without stopping about something, anything but they don't play. I have a few, all you need to do is have their character stand at the back of the party and give them a gameboy/cellphone/computer
Raymond_Luxury_Yacht 03-03-07, 12:12 AM	This would indeed prove beyond a doubt that they are not fit to game. Anyone who lets someone else touch their dice deserves to be booted from the game INSTANTLY. Not necessarily. For example, if you coat your dice with a slow-acting contact poison to which only you possess the antidote.
EvilVegan 03-03-07, 09:26 AM	I said if it is boring to them "common sense" would tell "them" to leave. So....if they are bored, which is the reason they are acting said way "according to you", and they don't leave then they don't have "common sense" thus the problem will never be solved waiting for them to leave and they will continue to disrupt the game.You're the one who said they'd leave, not me. I just said that if they did it would solve the "problem". Who says they are "bored"? Do you know these people personally or are you simply injecting your own slanted view into what is actually a maturtity problem?It was a humorous jab at the DM. This isn't a serious thread! The majority of problematic players I have had actually contact "me" about games and still act a fool once the game is in session. Problematic players that act a fool are usually looking for attention and are actually quite selfish; even the DMG 2 says this is the "root" of the problem. Why not mess with them? Because you will get mad and write corny little anti-DM lines on the Wizards boards. So what?I'm mad all of a sudden? Keep it a little less personal, sugar-toes. You have no idea the state of my emotions. I'm actually only slightly amused and a little hungry. Do you know if they were "acting a fool", what if they were just talking about stuff in the downtime between action and the DM didn't want to interrupt? Were you there? Do you know them? Or are you putting in your own slanted view in a completely unnecessary retort to a humorous thread? If you don't like the thread, don't participate in it. Otherwise add on to it and stop trying to argue with the DMs here because they don't agree with your pro-antagonist stance. I wasn't arguing! You started the argument, all I did was post a way to punish the players, which is the intent of this thread. I've noticed differently, so have many other gamers who see the immature acts in D&D daily. Its actually selfishness and childishness that you are trying to cover by calling it "boredom."I'm trying to cover selfish childishness? Its a house of cards. These players want to stay in the game to disrupt the game, not because they are 'bored" of it. I get "bored" of something I leave it alone, or if it is a video game I turn it off. That's what most adults do, children might act stupid until they get reprimanded. If your going to act like a child why not scold them like one in-game. Arrow to the Neck all the way baby. I'm sorry you take it so personally. I'm glad you act differently than other people. That's what being a human is all about. I'm also glad you are intimately familiar with all human beings on the planet and know their motivations to a greater degree than others or themselves. Who says they are not having fun. Usually fools have fun acting like fools. That is until the king bashes the fool on the head with his scepter.Actually, I said they aren't having fun. It was kind of the assumption necessary for my way to punish them. If they were having fun, then my way doesn't work as a means of punishment. OH NO! But if they were having fun disrupting the game, then I don't see why any sort of in-game consequence will punish them. . . I mean, they're having fun NOT playing their characters, why would their characters being negatively impacted punish them as players? Really you should be arguing everyone else here more along the lines of "you're all wrong, the DM just needs to talk to his players." But you're not, because you took my one post way too personally. I also think its a big step to assume they're "fools", just because they weren't 100% attentive to a D&D game, when you've never met them. So let me sum up the gist of your post, I'm immature, childish, selfish, argumentative, and I am covering for other immature, childish, selfish people by posting an on-topic response on how to punish players to a thread on punishing players. First of all, this isn't a thread titled "How to properly deal with problematic players" It is "1001 ways to punish players that constantly disrupt your games". Second of all, you started the argument. Third, neither of us were there. They could have been foolishly hogging the spotlight, they could have been bored and talking too long and the DM didn't have the spine to tell them to shut up so he could continue. YOU don't know any more than I know, but which one of us is attacking the other and which one was reluctantly debating the topic? Not only have you insulted me directly, you also called people you don't even remotely know immature, childish fools due to an event about which you have very limited knowledge. That being said, I think I'm done talking to you, have a nice life.
DarthMidget 03-03-07, 09:41 AM	Excellent post, EvilVegan.
Karish 03-03-07, 09:46 AM	I don't recall seeing this yet (I might be wrong) but in case it didn't get said... "You are walking along, and you see a Kobold sitting in the grass. There seem to be several dead monsters, as well as the scorched remains of earth where various demons apparently have been slain..."
Shadow_lancer 03-03-07, 11:53 AM	(125) Make them face Pun-Pun alone with no epuipment. (126) Set the player on fire (127) Lock them in an inescapable dungeon with an unpickable door and the only key is in one of 600 apples that they must bob for in a tank of boiling sulferic acid. (128) A deck of many things that is rigged so that he/she is the only one who can use it, and all cards are bad.
LordofIllusions 03-04-07, 07:32 PM	You're the one who said they'd leave, not me. I just said that if they did it would solve the "problem". Thus confirming that such a thing would work(Just in case you did not know this is what "solving the problem" means), which I proved actually could "not work" by way of my last post. It is logical, to those whom actually utilize logic that is. It was a humorous jab at the DM. This isn't a serious thread! Only partly true. This in-fact is a partially "humurous thread" designed for "punishing players" whom actually disrupt games not "bashing DMs." You're on the wrong course. I simply put you on the right one. As soon as I finish you may thank me. You, and a small group of angry players here on the Wizards boards that never get checked, seem to engage in the same nonsense quite often. Its getting tiresome. I'm mad all of a sudden? You are most certainly not happy. Keep it a little less personal, sugar-toes. You have no idea the state of my emotions. 1. Corny comeback. 2. Pot-Kettle-Black. I judged your emotions, and you get all bent out of shape, yet you just judged the emotions of hundreds if not thousands of disruptive D&D players as being "bored." You then defend this "opinion" of yours adamantly, your entire argument is centered around your opinion, and get angry when someone calls "you personally" angry. Why get angry because I knocked down your little house of cards? Do you know if they were "acting a fool", what if they were just talking about stuff in the downtime between action and the DM didn't want to interrupt? Were you there? Do you know them? Or are you putting in your own slanted view in a completely unnecessary retort to a humorous thread? Actually when I refer to disruptive players I mostly refer to my own and those of other groups I have gamed with. A DM knows his players better than some guy on a messageboard, especially since most gamers are also friends. Thus their actions, reactions, and likes and dislikes are usually better known by acquaintances than evil vegans. Players like this usually disrupt games out of selfishness not boredom. Even WotC knows this, as they call such behavior selfishness in their own DMG 2. Again logic. I wasn't arguing! You started the argument, all I did was post a way to punish the players, which is the intent of this thread. I'm trying to cover selfish childishness? This is only partly true. You posted a way to so-called "punish players" by way of "bashing DMs." When I called you on it, you entered a weak tirade as to why "players really are bored" in these games, thus moving it beyond comedy. Had it really been comedy you would have made this statement earlier. Yet you did not, until your entire position was destroyed proved to be quite vindictive, and nothing but personal opinion being asserted as fact, by myself. I'm sorry you take it so personally. I'm glad you act differently than other people. That's what being a human is all about. I'm also glad you are intimately familiar with all human beings on the planet and know their motivations to a greater degree than others or themselves. Flawed logic again. I claimed to know your emotions and you try to attack me on this small assumption. Meanwhile you claim to know the emotions of hundreds, if not thousands of dsiruptive players. Thus you might as well be saving this weak rant for yourself. You're like a self-appointed psychologist with no degree who lives in his mother's basement. Actually, I said they aren't having fun. It was kind of the assumption necessary for my way to punish them. If they were having fun, then my way doesn't work as a means of punishment. OH NO! Dsirupting the game does indeed mean "acting like a fool" since the game usually gets hindered by way of disruption. Common sense would tell you to "leave the game" rather than sit around and disrupt everyone else's fun. Fools stay and try to make everyone else's fun coem to an end by way of their antics, if this was not so it would not be a "disruption." You keep trying to defend childishness and immaturity as if it is something to be validated. When I catch you then you run for the "I was just playing" defense which I of course debunk. I find this quite.....childish But if they were having fun disrupting the game, then I don't see why any sort of in-game consequence will punish them. . . I mean, they're having fun NOT playing their characters, why would their characters being negatively impacted punish them as players? Really you should be arguing everyone else here more along the lines of "you're all wrong, the DM just needs to talk to his players." But you're not, because you took my one post way too personally. You just said they weren't having fun in my last quote from you. Here it is: "Actually, I said they aren't having fun. It was kind of the assumption necessary for my way to punish them". At least try to stay consistent. I also think its a big step to assume they're "fools", just because they weren't 100% attentive to a D&D game, when you've never met them. I never said anything about being 100% attentive--although if you made the commitment to play you should be--you said that. I said disruptive players are fools. There is a difference. Actually I have met the players I am speaking of, I used to DM for them as have my friends. On the other hand you have no basis for your claim that all disruptive players are bored. Its an angry attack on DMs, your in-depth retorts prove that this assumption goes beyond comedy. You can't excuse disruptive behavior by making a false excuse for it, there is no excuse. If you're bored of a game, leave it. Don't stay and try to riuin everyone else's because you are some kind of angry, immature child with a passive-agrgessive nature. So let me sum up the gist of your post, I'm immature, childish, selfish, argumentative, and I am covering for other immature, childish, selfish people by posting an on-topic response on how to punish players to a thread on punishing players. Who argues on and on , subsequently defending disruptive players as opposed to posting on how to punish them, if he was just posting about "punishing players"? The majority of your post, following the initial one, deals with players being "bored" and thus justifying the reason they disrupt games. It has little to nothing to do with "punishing them." First of all, this isn't a thread titled "How to properly deal with problematic players" It is "1001 ways to punish players that constantly disrupt your games". It is 1001 ways to deal with "disruptive players" by way of "punishment. Just in case you did not kmow, causing a disruption in an ongoing D&D game qualifies as a problem. Second of all, you started the argument. Actually I debunked your claim. You then responded which started a debate on the subject. When I relentlessly destroyed your position you pull the "you started it" defense? Come now... Third, neither of us were there. Actually I was there when the disruptive players that were in my games started acting up. I am assuming that other DMs have also been there to witness disuptive behavior in their games. They could have been foolishly hogging the spotlight, they could have been bored and talking too long and the DM didn't have the spine to tell them to shut up so he could continue. Earlier you said this: "Keep DMing exactly as you have been. Apparently it is too boring to keep their interest and therefore punishment enough". Your argument is in conflict with itself as your quoted statement, following "you said this", offers no other alternative other than they must be bored. You then went on in subsequent threads to defend said statement as documented in my quotes from you. YOU don't know any more than I know, but which one of us is attacking the other and which one was reluctantly debating the topic? You wrote: "Keep DMing exactly as you have been. Apparently it is too boring to keep their interest and therefore punishment enough". Again your statements are in conflict. You claim they are bored. Not only have you insulted me directly, you also called people you don't even remotely know immature, childish fools due to an event about which you have very limited knowledge. Really? My knowledge comes from direct interaction with these kinds of players and even old friendships with soem of them as does the insight of many of the DMs on this thread. DMs post about disruptive players because they usually have DMed for them at sometime or another. On the other hand, your claim that all players are "bored" if they act disruptive towards the game is not based on any facts at all. It's actually a baiting tactic to derail a thread you found to be offensive, possibly because you are one of the disruptive players being spoken of herein. I don't know but your opposition to this thread labeling disruptive players and dealing with them in-game or out of the game is often virulent. That being said, I think I'm done talking to you, have a nice life. At least we are in agreement on this portion of your statement. I'll advise you to not direct your posts at me again. ~~~
WizO_Cat 03-04-07, 10:32 PM	Ok, all of those that decided to take part in posting personal posts should be getting an e-mail from me shortly ... Once again, keep the posts on the subject matter of the thread, not other guests. Otherwise, it is going to be considered Baiting, and further disciplinary actions will be taken. A word to the wise ...
EvilVegan 03-07-07, 07:27 AM	Congratulations, LordofIllusions. You're the first person to get put on my ignore list, ever...
stackmachine 03-07-07, 10:38 AM	129) the clouds part and your heroes hear an annoyed voice: take this morons! the misbehavors are struck down by giant fruit for 20d6 budgeoning damage. pineapple shall do :). after the hit, the voice shouts "BOOYA! CRIT!" repeat with the banana of wrath on the inevitable "what-was-that"-question, and add a note: the god of game-time is angered, so he asked his buddy, the god of fruit, a favor. other gods you could involve: the god of bakers slinging pancakes of fury and torture-tartes the god of butchers howling holy cattle the god of BBQ casting polymorph into sausage
aotrscommander 03-07-07, 10:53 AM	100. Tell the police that you believe them to be drug dealers and invite an undercover officer to sit in your game, observe their behaviour and have them arrested and cavity searched afterwards. That'll teach them to giggle like a pair of pot-heads ... :evillaugh Creative...I like it. However, my own method works perfectly and I never need to do it more than once. 130: Use Maximised Disintegrate on the player. After this, the character invariably becomes remarkably compliant with your game.
stackmachine 03-07-07, 11:00 AM	some other suggestions: 130) let the half-orc from next door perform a lobotomy with his greataxe 131) the classic lightning from mount olympus 132) for every session, decide for one of their personal item to become cursed 133) let a lowly towns-guard ask if they prefered the mercy-killing + perform an instant delivery 134) have illusory "IDIOT"-signs that only npcs can see appear above their heads and slam-dunk their honour 135) quit awarding xp to them 136) give their xp to the serious players 137) make their horses kick them whenever possible 138) have the hirelings quit because they "don't wanna be seen with such loosers" 139) let a gargantuan void-card from the DoMT fall onto them. over it, written in demon-blood: THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING. YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE EXPELLED FROM THIS WORLD. FOREVER.
stackmachine 03-07-07, 11:09 AM	one more: 140) imprison them + permanent dimensional anchor + permanent antimagic field. once they get bored and start complaining, have Ruprecht, The Talking Rat, appear. Mock them and tell bad jokes and make the worst puns ever. Try to make him more annoying than they are themselves. Give them unsolvable riddles, to create the illusion of an opportunity for escape, mock them afterwards and tell more bad jokes.
Phae 12-30-07, 07:12 PM	42?) Seduce their girlfriends. It's funny that you say that, because I've got one very problematic player whose first girl I stole. (She didn't like him much.) And I recently stole his new girlfriend, but have since found someone for myself.
Orihalconis 12-31-07, 12:37 AM	in my first campaign ever, my DM had a room. In this room, there are no windows or doors. However, scrawled across all six walls, in every conceivable language, is the sentence "You are stupid." Only when the player admits that they did a dumb thing was their character set free from the Room of Stupid.
Mr_Crepsley 01-01-08, 12:06 AM	One time I punished characters for their carelessness, as opposed to disruptiveness, but anyway, I had a treasure chest at the end of a narrow, 5 foot wide corridor. On the square right in front of the chest was a false tile that collapsed when the PC's stepped on it, and then fell down a 5 foot wide shaft with a Gelatinous Cube at the bottom. Black pudding would work also, but I didnt want to damage them too much.
Phae 01-19-08, 12:01 PM	One word: Beholders
nights_the_necromancer 01-29-08, 10:05 AM	let the serious players know that they are being fooled by a illusionist and dont let the disruptive players in on it and have them go through a seiries of tests for the illusionists pleasure that is simular to the movies "saw 1 2 and 3" this only works on good players who can play without meta gaming otherwise dont let the serious players know and award them double the xp for appology for not letting them in on it
Mr_Seth 01-29-08, 11:52 AM	142. "You have been slapped by the magical fish. You are now a woman." Swap out "kender", "kobold", "orc", "half-pixie", or "kiwi" for "woman" as you see fit. 143. Start omitting the player from the game. Just act as if he's suddenly disappeared. When the players finally notice, turn to the player you've omitted. "Alright, about then you slowly regain consciousness. You realize three things. One, you're in your skivvies, and your (weapon of choice here) is nowhere to be found. Two, you're chained to a very, very large rock. And three, there are about three dozen very, very angry lizardfolk pointing various pointy, edged, or jagged implements of pain and disfigurement at your face."
Avatar of Kokusho 01-29-08, 12:01 PM	Throw Squeaker at them. Squeaker is a 30th level (Fighter 15/Sorcerer 15) paragon kobold. Anyone want his stats, PM me. :D
CryoSilver 01-29-08, 12:16 PM	It pleases me greatly that the chair is suggestion 3 on the list...
M-bark 01-29-08, 12:40 PM	145.) Make one of the characters (played by one of the annoying players) suddenly find a cursed ring of plane shift that activates at random times. Then have it send them to the Positive Energy Plane (especially if there is no way of getting back for them, besides the ring). Other good options are: - Negative Energy Plane - Ninth layer of Baator (Asmodeus' personal quarters is a favourite here) - Layer something-something-something of the Abyss. - Whatever Outer Plane is of an alignment opposed to theirs (and have the inhabitants attack on sight) - Astral Plane, straight into the arms of a powerful Mindflayer - Elemental Plane of Fire - Quasi-Elemental Plane of Vaccuum
nights_the_necromancer 01-29-08, 12:46 PM	145.) Make one of the characters (played by one of the annoying players) suddenly find a cursed ring of plane shift that activates at random times. Then have it send them to the Positive Energy Plane (especially if there is no way of getting back for them, besides the ring). Other good options are: - Negative Energy Plane - Ninth layer of Baator (Asmodeus' personal quarters is a favourite here) - Layer something-something-something of the Abyss. - Whatever Outer Plane is of an alignment opposed to theirs (and have the inhabitants attack on sight) - Astral Plane, straight into the arms of a powerful Mindflayer - Elemental Plane of Fire - Quasi-Elemental Plane of Vaccuum you forgot the void realm
Pwydde 02-04-08, 12:54 PM	"That's it. No more Mountain Dew for you."
Cantankerous 02-04-08, 01:21 PM	xxx) Remove the beam from thine own eye before going after the sliver in thine neighbors...or something like that. I've found that USUALLY when a Player who you thought was worth having join you is being a whiny bugger, it's the DM who's at least half the cause of it. That's not always the case, of course, but if you're thinking at all before you invite someone to join and they suddenly turn disruptive: look to thine own fields. Isshia
ashmanonar 02-13-08, 01:53 AM	28) Place fairly obivous traps everywhere. The players will simply need to pay attention to the game to avoid them, and they will eventually kill themselves if they dont. Nonono, this one isn't fair, especially to the rogueless group's Barbarian "trap-finder." Not fair at all.
Rhojin 02-13-08, 11:56 AM	146) Hand of God Just as it sounds, a giant hand comes down from the sky and strikes you for all the dice the DM has. Short simple and people get quiet really fast when they see you reach for all your dice.
annoyinglizardvoice 02-13-08, 06:00 PM	Last time a player rubbed me the wrong way, feral minotaurs suddenly found his pretty-boy rogue strangly attractive. Players who anger their DMs are now said to be on the "minotaur list". Most of my players are very visual thinkers, so I can just tell them about an unpleasant injury, dream, joke, bodily condition etc and they'll be to busy flinching with disgust to cause any more problems.
itsme4eva1 02-13-08, 10:01 PM	147: He/she is transported to a realm where 10 Baylores sit and they rip out his organs keeping he/she alive.
katrwall 02-14-08, 12:11 AM	Are we puninshing the players, or the characters? 148. Noogies 149. Wedgies 150. Wet Willies These should work no matter who they're applied to.
Sulacu 02-14-08, 12:16 AM	(125) Make them face Pun-Pun alone with no epuipment. 151. Make them face Pun-Pun in any situation.
Mina88 02-15-08, 09:39 AM	6) Don't stop at their characters, kill their pets. that actually worked in our campaign when our sorceress wouldn't stop doing her homework to play...at least for a few sessions... though I'm patricular to Hand of God techniques...but my favorite way to get them back in the game is this: "You're buying the pizza this week."
Khan2000 02-15-08, 12:29 PM	152) "Roll initiative." Everyone perks up at this. 153) PDD* 154) Five Fingers--this mostly for players acting stupid. The character takes 5 points of damage. *PM me for the meaning as I'm not sure if the full writing out is appropriate.
LeeAlucard 02-15-08, 01:46 PM	Dunno if this fits in, but I've told my players at the beginning of every campaign... "Unless it would make sense in-character to shout, 'LEEROY JENKINS!' as you charge into battle, you will have to roll d% on the Leeroy Jenkins punishment chart to see what happens." So... yeah.
CryoSilver 02-15-08, 03:02 PM	154) Five Fingers--this mostly for players acting stupid. The character player takes 5 points of damage. Fixed
Tigleon 02-15-08, 03:13 PM	155. While the PC's are busy talking or answering cell phones mention they hear wings beating. If that doesn't perk their ears, tell them to start rolling up new characters since a Greater Wyrm (your choice of color) just removed them from this plane of exsistence.
Khan2000 02-17-08, 02:47 PM	Fixed Five fingers to you.;)
Revan54115110 02-17-08, 10:34 PM	Well you all know those characters that seduced the bar maid and then asked the question “THEN WHAT HAPPEND” well here is who to fix them Turn the bar maid into a dire-were wolf with the same number of levels of fighter, the player character is with our armour and his weapons are on the other side of the room and they are starting from a grappled position, and if any tries anything like a hearing check say things like you hear the load music playing or the sounds of rough sex is coming from the room. Maybe this may explain why i don’t get asked to be the DM with my group anymore? what do you think was this over kill ?