Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Sjay1 09-15-05, 11:20 AM	#1 dude....you're dead... #2 ....you're dead dude
Wookie1120 09-15-05, 11:21 AM	3. dude, you forgot to not die.
Joe Khol 09-15-05, 11:27 AM	4) <from behind a sturdy door> 5) <take character sheet... erase current HP value... write, in large, bold letters '-11'... return character sheet> 6) "Have you read Ghostwalk?" 7) A full rendition of the Monty Python 'Dead Parrot' sketch. 8) Telling the other players they all have a -2 Cha penalty for having bits of the dead character all over them.
Sjay1 09-15-05, 11:31 AM	#9. grab some dice head for the bathroom * roll damage* then call him on his mobile..
Abulafia 09-15-05, 11:33 AM	10) "Say, Jim, you remember that cool new character idea you were thinking about?"
Omega the Powerfull 09-15-05, 11:34 AM	11. You wake up, and fell the sun shining in your face and the cool breeze. You know you are in the elisium and already DEADDDDD. 12. CRITICALLL! .....You lost your head man, the other had a vorpal.
darkhellion21 09-15-05, 11:36 AM	13) You remember how you hated your character and wanted to recreate him? Guess what... today's your lucky day because he's dead!! :D :weep: :mad:
Doopliss 09-15-05, 11:40 AM	13: I found a solution to those poor ability rolls you kept mentioning... 14: You're not dead, you're incorporeal because...er...someone....cast...a...spe ll...on..you?
Kozeljnik 09-15-05, 11:43 AM	14) Fatality/Brutality/Animality (only if you sound like the "narrator" in Mortal Kombat) might also add Flawless Victory if the PC gets really OWNED
High Octane 09-15-05, 11:43 AM	17. It's worse than that, he's dead Jim. *covers ears for proverbial "KHAAAAAAAAAANNNN!!!!"* 18. You know how you were saying Raise Dead is too easy? Well now you have no reason to complain. 19. Black Leaf failed to find the poison trap. I declare her dead. 20. Marcie, you're dead! You don't exist anymore! Get out of here! 21. You said WHAT about my momma?? Well I have a nice retort in the form of a STRIKE FROM HEAVEN! 22. Well I know where 10,000 gp of the treasure from this fight is going. 23. Hey theres something I have to tell you.... but Ill be right back. *runs to bathroom* *sound of door locking* *sound of window opening* *sound of car screeching off* *sound of plane taking off* *12 hours pass* *phone rings* *Sound of downtown Hong Kong in background* "Yeah man, he's dead." Edit: Numbers.
Sjay1 09-15-05, 11:45 AM	#24. far far far below you..you see a small figure standing, smiling and waving.. do you vaguely remember being tossed??...and remember your encounter with some hulking hurling kinda guy...??
Doopliss 09-15-05, 11:48 AM	15. Black Leaf failed to find the poison trap. I declare her dead. I wanted to add that one... :( 25: Mention a teleport. That should prolong him until he realises he "teleported" to the appropriate death plane.
Black Kitten 09-15-05, 11:52 AM	21) Ehm... sorry Dryas... That is a 2nd 20. That means (houserule) the x4 on this critical becomes x5 and that's a hit... Your character gets hit for 100 damage... Are you going to raise him, or do you need 4d6? 22) Actually, the d20 you just rolled a 1 on was on the Finger of Death that was cast on you... sorry dude. 23) Kelemvor smiles at you friendly and judges you kindly into the eternal afterlife. 24) Well, your character just became a Saint. 25) "We'll erect a large statue for <insert PCs name>," the rescues princess said, whiping away a tear.
Sjay1 09-15-05, 12:24 PM	ok guys we're at 28 now... 28: Hey euhm...remember that movie in which the scottish barbarian got his head cutt of.. let's say this is that movie....and..you're the barbarian..
ShadowDragon8685 09-15-05, 12:33 PM	29. *Solemnly hand the player in question 4d6, and ask for a brief peroid of quiet from the group.* 30. "Aw. Aw man. I never roll that high when I'm playing. Sorry man. Murphy blessed your character." 31. "Well, nuts. You can hit the playstation in the other room till you get rezzed. Erase my saves and you're a dead man ten times over."
Sjay1 09-15-05, 12:36 PM	#32: hand him a blank character recordsheet before session starts.."Just in case" as soon as he dies...hand him 4d6..and tell him you felt something coming
Black Kitten 09-15-05, 12:46 PM	#32: hand him a blank character recordsheet before session starts.."Just in case" as soon as he dies...hand him 4d6..and tell him you felt something coming That's a hard move if you don't plan on your PCs to die.
Sjay1 09-15-05, 01:42 PM	err..i dunno about you..but i always plan to kill them...since every hostile opponent they encouter has his/her mind set to it... So actually i always plan them to die..they don't always do so..but that's another story...
TheErsatzFacsimileOfMe 09-15-05, 02:29 PM	err..i dunno about you..but i always plan to kill them...since every hostile opponent they encouter has his/her mind set to it... So actually i always plan them to die..they don't always do so..but that's another story... How RUDE! :eek: I would never intend to kill my PCs....:smirk: Okay....so maybe sometimes.... :D
SilverSabre25 09-15-05, 02:45 PM	33. You know how no one else in the group liked your character? Well, here's your chance to fix that...
Spike_Fightwicky 09-15-05, 03:00 PM	34. You know how everyone in the party says that your character sucks? Well here's a reason why.... 35. Ok, pop quiz: what happens when a greater shadow deals 8 strength damage to your 8 strength character? 36. Ok, the Yrthak snatches the ranger in his dive and flies away 60 feet. Anyone else have ranged weapons? Well, bon apetit.
Wyrmrider 09-15-05, 03:20 PM	Re 35: I believe he's strengthless and immobile until after a day of rest.
Spike_Fightwicky 09-15-05, 03:32 PM	Re 35: I believe he's strengthless and immobile until after a day of rest. Under normal circumstances yes. When it's a Shadow (or greater shadow) that damages the stat to 0, he dies, and comes back as a shadow in 1d4 rounds.
revnk 09-15-05, 03:37 PM	#37: OH DANNY-BOYYYY, THE PIPES, THE PIPES ARE CALLING.... #38: Ewwwww... that had to hurt. #39: Well, kids, looks like someone didn't listen and went into the light. #40: Sorry, man... there just aren't enough Cure Potions in all of Faerun for that. #41: Hey, it's not that bad... they brought Buffy back. And Spock. Spock was still cool, right?
OctoberRaven 09-15-05, 03:38 PM	Ignore this.
Black Kitten 09-15-05, 03:45 PM	err..i dunno about you..but i always plan to kill them...since every hostile opponent they encouter has his/her mind set to it... So actually i always plan them to die..they don't always do so..but that's another story... Okey, I attempt to kill them, but generally use character for that that fail their attempt. Better?
MasterRookie 09-15-05, 03:46 PM	#42: Okay everyone with a character raise their hand, umm not so fast dude. #43: What do your character and the Pokemon fad have in common.
ShadowDragon8685 09-15-05, 04:01 PM	#40: Sorry, man... there just aren't enough Cure Potions in all of Faerun for that. :heehee Wendy's Frosty. In the mouth, out the nose. HAHAHAHAhaahahaaah!
TheChilliGod 09-15-05, 04:05 PM	#44: *In the american baseball tune* Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Deeeeeaaaaad! #45: FINALLY! MY FIRST PC DEATH!!!! Oh, um... er... :D #46: Ha ha! Your guy is dead! Your guy is dead! Neenee neenee neenerrr *gets tossed out window* #47: *Funeral theme, either the dun dun dundun dun dundun dun dundun one or the funeral tune for the army with that single trumpet thing.*
OctoberRaven 09-15-05, 04:26 PM	48: DM: Pepperoni or Extra Cheese. PC: Huh? DM: Sorry, I was just asking what you wanted on your tombstone.
Aladdar 09-15-05, 04:46 PM	49. Hand him a rope with a noose on the end. "Um... Dude, if you need to use this my closet rod is fairly sturdy."
Sjay1 09-15-05, 04:47 PM	#44: *In the american baseball tune* Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Dead Deeeeeaaaaad!* :rofl: ahaha ...Grab a beer and join in everyone :pint:
Sjay1 09-15-05, 04:50 PM	31. "Well, nuts. You can hit the playstation in the other room till you get rezzed. Erase my saves and you're a dead man ten times over." #50. well, boy you're lucky you can stay at the table and try my PSP i just bought...
Ricros 09-15-05, 05:12 PM	#51: Guess who's dead! IT'S YOU! #52 - 'The silent treatment': DM: The mind flayer makes a grapple check. Me: Oh noes. DM: ... Me: Ummm... So how many tentacles does he have on my head now? DM: *holds up 4 fingers* Me: Am I dead? DM: *nods*
Omega the Powerfull 09-15-05, 05:14 PM	51. You are a nice little bunny now! Do you want the stats for a bunny?
20goingon1232 09-15-05, 05:47 PM	#47: *Funeral theme, either the dun dun dundun dun dundun dun dundun one or the funeral tune for the army with that single trumpet thing.* Trumpet = The Last Post?
General_Ridley 09-15-05, 05:57 PM	52. You have become living-challenged.
Iyestorm 09-15-05, 06:05 PM	53: "He died! And this is a kid's movie!!!"
KeltenVonRatzenberger 09-15-05, 06:52 PM	54 - "Let me see your character sheet....*rip*....Throw this away for me? Actually happened to a friend of mine.
Moon-Lancer 09-15-05, 07:04 PM	wow. such little respect.
Cyric 09-15-05, 07:14 PM	55. Let's see 5 times 6 plus.. how may hit points do you have?
ridiculous 09-15-05, 07:31 PM	DM: Ok, the red dragon breaths and you are engulfed in a cone of flames *rolls* Player: *rolls* DM: Could you hand me your character sheet please? Player: Sure, why? *hands character* DM: Just wanna check something, won't be long... *goes outside* Player: Hum, what the heck are you doing? DM: a fire...
Chosen of the Dark Sun 09-15-05, 08:08 PM	56. DM: She rips out your skull and beats you to death with it. PC: Wait, that doesn't seem physically possible. DM: Thats just what your character kept screaming! Oh Red vs. Blue, how I love thee... :D
TheChilliGod 09-15-05, 08:10 PM	Trumpet = The Last Post? Yeah, that's probably it. I'm not too good with my history.
OctoberRaven 09-15-05, 08:13 PM	Yeah, that's probably it. I'm not too good with my history. Actually, I think you're looking for "Taps".
AlphaSquirell 09-15-05, 08:14 PM	57. DM: "Luckily, the arrow missed your heart by about 12 inches." Player: "Ok, good." DM: "No, not good. It just so happens his arrow imbeded itself in your skull instead..." Player: "Um, how much damage do I take?" DM: "That depends, how much is 11 more than your current health?"
20goingon1232 09-15-05, 08:33 PM	Actually, I think you're looking for "Taps". "Taps" is the rolling drums one, isn't it? The one they play in period movies when the condemned guy is marched to the gallows? The bugle/trumpet one is "Last Post"?
SodaGuy 09-15-05, 08:37 PM	56. DM: She rips out your skull and beats you to death with it. PC: Wait, that doesn't seem physically possible. DM: Thats just what your character kept screaming! Oh Red vs. Blue, how I love thee... Poor Jimmy.
AlphaSquirell 09-15-05, 08:43 PM	The Bugle/Trumpet one is taps. It is played at the end of the day, and sometimes when someone dies. (at an execution or funeral) At the latter, a drumroll is usually added.
20goingon1232 09-15-05, 09:03 PM	The Bugle/Trumpet one is taps. It is played at the end of the day, and sometimes when someone dies. (at an execution or funeral) At the latter, a drumroll is usually added. Ok. If that one is Taps, which one is Last Post (also a funeral thing, IIRC)? This is one gonna bug me for a long time. I can just feel it. *mutters*
Esgarblackpox 09-15-05, 09:05 PM	well...i suppose the cleric can attempt a heal check....but he'll have to find your vital organs first.
Raymond_Luxury_Yacht 09-15-05, 09:11 PM	59. Oh my God, I killed Kenny!
Esgarblackpox 09-15-05, 09:27 PM	what if his name isnt kenny?
Bane 09-15-05, 09:41 PM	60: DM: "What do Julius Caesar, Napoleon, Alexander the Great, and your character have in common?" PC: "They are all mighty conquerers!" DM: "They're all past tense." 61: Take the character sheet outside and tack it onto a target. Then use the projectile weapon of your choice. I prefer throwing knives or arrows.
Raymond_Luxury_Yacht 09-15-05, 10:50 PM	what if his name isnt kenny? Then tell him at the moment of his death he was possessed by K'Z'K. Now he's Kenny.
Bud Green 09-15-05, 11:04 PM	#42: Okay everyone with a character raise their hand, umm not so fast dude. LOL! :D :D :D
ATynam 09-15-05, 11:09 PM	Ok. If that one is Taps, which one is Last Post (also a funeral thing, IIRC)? This is one gonna bug me for a long time. I can just feel it. *mutters* The wonder of Google http://www.defence.gov.au/army/traditions/documents/LastPost.htm And keeping on topic. 62. DM: It could be worse, you [character] could be dead, oh, wait...
Kohdok 09-15-05, 11:21 PM	14) Fatality/Brutality/Animality (only if you sound like the "narrator" in Mortal Kombat) might also add Flawless Victory if the PC gets really OWNED You forgot "Babality" 62: Bob the builder: Can we fix it? No, probably not... 63: Thus, with a kiss, you DIE!!! Ga ha ha ha! 64: Flick over the player's miniature, then RUN!! 65: Any of the deaths from Munchkin work well. 66: Well, we can say this, your character went out with a bang. Granted, he kind of burst apart, shedding entrails all over the walls and absolutely ruining the BBEG's outfit, not to mention those of your comrades. And, granted, you couldn't raise your axe once before you were blasted apart into large chunks suitable for oregonian fisherman's stew, if you were a fish that is, but you DID go out with a "Bang".
High Octane 09-15-05, 11:42 PM	67. How many hit points do you have? .....oh. Well that's okay. Your character has nothing to worry about............ Ever.
20goingon1232 09-15-05, 11:43 PM	The wonder of Google http://www.defence.gov.au/army/traditions/documents/LastPost.htm And keeping on topic. 62. DM: It could be worse, you [character] could be dead, oh, wait... Ah. Thanks. TLP is the Brit version of Taps. Got both scores now so know the diff :P
AcidAngel 09-16-05, 06:02 AM	67. Man, is that stain going to be hard to get out of the dungeon floor. Oops! Sorry. 68. “Okay, the up side is; I needed someone to play this NPC for me today.” Hands out character sheet. [ 18 pt buy level 1 half-orc commoner (skill focus: basketweaving) in hide armor, dual wielding scimitars. Weapon prof. Dagger] 69. “Dude, your character is so (sounds like “ducked” but with an “f”) you might need these.” Hands out a box of Durex. (naughty mind, will flog myself for that) :eek: 70. “Pick four.” holds out fistful of d6’s 71. Well…, uh…, that character race/class combo didn’t work out. I thought you could have lasted longer… it was only a Dire Rat. 72. “You know what the default array values are… “ hands out blank character sheet 73. Well, your remaining teammates search, DC45, for a fingernail or something, so they can get you resurrected.
UndeadMouse 09-16-05, 09:28 AM	74: (UT Announcer's Voice) "You have died" 75: take player's character sheet, drop it in the waste bin, and hand him a backup character very quickly (I always have a few in my box of D&D goodies) 76: "You seem to be unable to move. as you struggle, something seems to snap and feel a floating sensation. the world slowly turns silver, then you are rocketing along the landscape. you arrive at a black castle surrounded by a wall of people. you hit the wall and everything goes black." 77: "you're dead, live with it"
Esgarblackpox 09-16-05, 10:03 AM	78) Remember that preety girl you just kissed? well, she was a dune stalker. They dont call it the kiss of death for nothing you know.
High Octane 09-16-05, 10:07 AM	I noticed some of the posts seem to be leaning towards ways of characters to die, but the point of this thread is describing ways to tell the most fanatical player you have ever had that his favorite character died.
ShadowDragon8685 09-16-05, 10:18 AM	79. "Duuuude. You're ******." 80. "Remember that Metallica song? I Dissapear? And how you were only just starting to get into the party? 'Just as soooooon as I beeelongggggg, then it's time I disssapeaaaaeerrr!"
revnk 09-16-05, 10:29 AM	For those old enough to fondly remember late 80s/early 90s funk-metal band Faith No More: 81: SUR-PRISE! YOU'RE DEAD! HAHA-HA-HA-HA! [Furiously mimes air guitar a la Bill and Ted or Wayne and Garth.] (Suddenly... feeling... so... old :( ) 82: Um... what were those five stages again? Anger, denial, acceptance...? 83: Death comes to all things. In your case, it just happened to show up a little sooner, is all. 84: I don't suppose you ever wrote up a Last Will and Testament for your character, did you? 85: If it's any consolation, there's not enough of your equipment left for the monster to profit from your demise. The armor's especially toast. 86: [Best for traps, etc.] You have chosen... badly....
OctoberRaven 09-16-05, 10:47 AM	87: You know that old sage that told you not to go in this cave? Well, in your case, maybe you should've listened. 88: As your spirit starts to go upwards, you can hear your fellow adventurers grumble about having to clean up your organs...and all that GP you borrowed. 89: Good news and bad news. Good news, you're characters only down for another 3 rounds. Bad news, he'll be a wight. 90. (After he dies of mummy rot) "All you are is dust in the wind..." 91. ( high-level evil campaign going against a holy warrior) "Uh...his vorpal blade just went snicker-snack on your :censored:"
MarkB 09-16-05, 10:49 AM	92. "Well, the good news is the party has acquired the following treasure..." <start reading from deceased character's equipment list> 93. <If killed by fireball, red dragon, etc.> "You did want to be cremated, right?" 94. Pass some notes to the other players. Allow the one with the dead character to carry on, but having PCs and NPCs ignore all his in-character speech, until he tries to touch or pick up an item. "You're mildly disturbed to see your hand go right through the item without touching it." 95. <NPC cleric to rest of party>: "I think I can save his arm. Where would you like it sent?" (With thanks to The Naked Gun)
Omega the Powerfull 09-16-05, 11:23 AM	96. A green ray shoots from the guy's fingertips and ... hits you...*rool fortitude*. Ohhh, bad rool, such a pity ..... Do you want to know what happened?
Kohdok 09-16-05, 11:52 AM	96. A green ray shoots from the guy's fingertips and ... hits you...*rool fortitude*. Ohhh, bad rool, such a pity ..... Do you want to know what happened? it's AVADA KEDAVRA!! 97: Your character has officially been punk'd! 98: *Pause*... You know, I think I just printed off some fresh character sheets today, and, (In the MOST childish tone EVER) *Gasp* LOOK! Here they are! Take one, you'll need it.
DarkWolfe7 09-16-05, 12:52 PM	I have been playing D&D for almost five and a half years, mostly as a DM, and I have never been able to kill off my players. Not for lack of trying, of course. It started the night after we had played our first game. Since then, every time we get together I'll come up with a new plan to kill them. I try sooo hard, but something miraculously seems to keep them alive. Ohh ... wait a sec. Were we talking about characters? DarkWolfe
BeyondFated 09-16-05, 01:01 PM	99(So close!): Hey remember how your not...um...a corpse, because your vital organs stave off death? Yeah...their not doing that so much anymore...
NinjaE 09-16-05, 01:45 PM	This is one thousand and one ways to tell your most fanatic player his character has died. Not one hundred. Anyways, one for good and one for evil. 100: Well... Um... How's spending the rest of eternity with the petitioner template and a harp sound? 101: Well, you know what they say, better to rule in hell than to serve in heaven... That just happened. Except you're not ruling. In fact, you're currently being used by the yugoloths as a legally binding piece of stuff-that-holds-text.
Cyric 09-16-05, 03:00 PM	102. Death is a RELEASE, not a punishment.
Illithid_Lover 09-16-05, 04:01 PM	DM: ok, make a fort save. Player: ok, I rolled a 35 with my modifier. DM: So...do you know how to use RedBlade?
Illithid_Lover 09-16-05, 04:12 PM	Trumpet = The Last Post? TAPS.
Thwyvylyn 09-16-05, 05:39 PM	103 My PCs were in a warehouse that had 19 traps in it. (well that plus dimension locks and walls of force on the outside). The artificer has a high use magic device rating and takes 20s. 32 is a nice "taken 20". DM (me): Ummm, well you are fine till the last one. Player: What's the last trap? DM: Well, It's a 33 DC. Player: Ok, what's it do? DM: It's a box...with a Symbol of Death inside... Player: What kind of save do I get? DM: Fortitude Player: "rolls dice" DM: What did you roll? Player: a "1"
Esgarblackpox 09-16-05, 05:53 PM	104) I tried to tell you.... fighters do not get a special rule that says they can ignore the laws of gravity.
Crystal Monk 09-16-05, 08:56 PM	Then tell him at the moment of his death he was possessed by K'Z'K. Now he's Kenny. you rock. 106 (Illithid Lover's wasn't numbered): welcome to Deathville! population - YOU! 107: (to other players) your next quest will be avenging the death of.... 108: you've become very introspective, you can definitely see inside yourself. so can everyone else.
Sjay1 09-16-05, 09:17 PM	#109 Can you think of any good reasons to die?.....good! cause you can pick any one of those now... #110. you can't think of any reasons?..ahw..man that sucks you're dead for no good reason....
SwitchUK 09-16-05, 09:18 PM	For those old enough to fondly remember late 80s/early 90s funk-metal band Faith No More: 81: SUR-PRISE! YOU'RE DEAD! HAHA-HA-HA-HA! [Furiously mimes air guitar a la Bill and Ted or Wayne and Garth.] (Suddenly... feeling... so... old :( ) You just made my day. Anyway: all of these actually happened. 109: "The grey rain curtain of the world peels back, and you see white shores, and beyond.... wait, sh*t, wrong game world. Whatever man, you're boned, better hope the guys are feeling generous enough to pay to have you raised..." 110: "...Aaand we have -10 HP. You're dead, I guess. Feel free to curse." 111: *character falls into VERY deep pit*... "okay, it's a three minute drop... Millennia later, a team of dwarf miners find an interesting mineral deposit that used to be you and your gear. Roll up a new character man, because you're so dead that even True Resurrection's not going to work." 112: "Okay, so you fail the grapple check? Okay, you're feeding the worms. A supply of fresh meet is essential for keeping their scales a healthy purple colour, you know..." 113: *character takes a direct hit from a fireball and is dropped to -12 HP*: "fragged..." 114: *character is killed by a Bodak's gaze* "I have bad news and... worse news. Just take it from me that you'll be needing a new character." 115: "Okay, the orc drives a rusty cleaver right into your breastbone, splintering bone, tearing through armour, and messily ripping your heart into two seperate halves. Death is almost instant. The last thing you see is the orc snarling a grin at you, and then doing his victory dance. He moonwalks across the room, spins, grabs his crotch, and then starts to churn the butter..."
Sjay1 09-16-05, 09:24 PM	115: "Okay, the orc drives a rusty cleaver right into your breastbone, splintering bone, tearing through armour, and messily ripping your heart into two seperate halves. Death is almost instant. The last thing you see is the orc snarling a grin at you, and then doing his victory dance. He moonwalks across the room, spins, grabs his crotch, and then starts to churn the butter..." :rofl: hahaha :bow: #116: *pc spot* Last thing you recall is seeing something coming right at you...*attack roll...* YEahhh a threat!!!...*confirmation* Ahw yess BULLS-EYE!!! i'm so on a ROLL today....euhm...i'm sorry to inform you an arrow pierces your temple...you're dead..."
High Octane 09-17-05, 03:34 AM	#117 You are the weakest link. Bye bye. #118 Every Man dies, but not every man truly lives. After that roll, you are every man. #119 Think of this as a permanent out of body experience. #120 (If the character was good) You see.... Elvis. He's chatting with Kurt Cobain. They are talking about women. Kurt says something about his wife with a shotgun. You also see Ghandi talking to Martin Luther King. The place is swarming with peace and some very hot looking angels. You like it here. #121 (If the character was evil) You see Hitler, Jack the Ripper, the guy who made the D&D movie, and a veritable sea of Email spammers, spyware writers, lawyers, and intolerant religious zealots who use religion as an excuse to hate. The pain they are enduring is indescribable. You see a sign that says "Hell". There is a man looking at the sign saying "OH MY GOD! This is a place that forces you to read! This must be HELL!" #122 (if the character was neutral) Yeah this place is basically.... boring. It's like they turned the feeling of being on hold on the phone into a world. You ask if there is any way out of here. A local resident says "All I know is my gut says 'Maybe.'"
Ulrich Valdemont 09-17-05, 12:17 PM	#122 (if the character was neutral) Yeah this place is basically.... boring. It's like they turned the feeling of being on hold on the phone into a world. You ask if there is any way out of here. A local resident says "All I know is my gut says 'Maybe.'" LOL 123. Well, now that you're at -18, maybe you don't mind going to the fridge and grab us all a few drinks. Eh... look maybe there is something to eat as well, bring that to.
ShadowDragon8685 09-17-05, 12:48 PM	124. If the person is a mac/linux fan, or a PC fan who still religiously hates Bill Gates, whilst yet worshipping him: "Well, you know the way you felt when when you watched the video of Bill Gates taking a lemon meruange in the face? The place you're in feels like that all the time." 125. (If the player managed to take some important bad guy down with him.) "Dude, you know how The Matrix ended? Matrix 3, I mean? You're Neo." 126. (If the player loved a certain game...) "Well, you're dead. On the Material Plane, anyway. You're a crispy fritter. On the upside, where you really are, is like an endless rampage across hilly fields in a warthog with the Master Chief. You get to be the gunner." (Bet you they'll ask NOT to be ressurected. :P )
Unreal32 09-17-05, 02:21 PM	"But I didn't eat the salmon?" "WELL YOU'RE DEAD ANYWAY, SO SHADDUP!"
Salookanana 09-17-05, 05:04 PM	For anyone who is a mer person, summons fishes, or has anything to do with fish what so ever. "So long and thanks for all the fish"
Unreal32 09-17-05, 05:12 PM	You could allways use the parrot sketch? "This character is dead!" "No he's not, he's just sleeping" "Look he's dead I tell you, he has ceased to be, kicked the bucket, is no longer of this earth" "Nah, he's just relaxing is all"
tharivol266 09-17-05, 06:14 PM	"i told you not to get sashimi at a truck stop"
Lyinginbedmon 09-17-05, 06:46 PM	129. Well, you know how you always wanted to see what the Nine Hells looked like? 130. You reach a place full of poorly defended buildings made of paper and cardboard, all with antimatter rifles stockpiled within 3 metres of them. 131. If anyone asks, your area now covers the exact spatial areas of this entire building 132. You should now that the Tarrasque is going to be having to defecate bones in a few hours
darkhellion21 09-19-05, 11:27 AM	133. "You know how life is like a box of chocolates because you never know what you're going to get? Here's a box of vanilla treats. They're all the same, boring and lifeless, like your character after this roll." :thinks: 134. DM: "Dude, you go pay for the pizza while the rest of us game" Player: "Why me?" DM: "You're not doing anything else since your guy died." Player: "What?!!" DM: "You can't expect to fight vampire monks without getting hurt, level drained, charmed..." :teach: :schemes: :banghead: 135. Death is that last great adventure. You just got there early in the campaign. :fight!:
hollow_ghost 08-02-06, 06:09 PM	141. (count people, and check if someone has posted while you you were posting) Oh so thats why I had a Fated Fatal this morning... (dominicdeegan.com great comic) 142. You see this die (ur choice of type)? Well... It's what you do... 143. You are now a part of the Force. 144. You are now sitting under a tree near a great firey forge. You take out a piece of wood and mutter curses about a kender. 145. You know how you were complaining about that paper induced cut on your finger? Well, so does your character. Except it's not on his finger. And not paper induced. Your torso is, well, sundered. 146. You know that punch I told you you felt? Well, it wasn't a punch you now realise as you look down to see the tip of a bloody greatsword. Before you can say anything, you are lifted in the air and thrown to the side cut in half.
necrom99 08-02-06, 06:20 PM	147) you've just invested in some choice agricultural relastate 148) ...or if you will.....dude, you just bought the farm... 150) he's dead Jim 151) "whoa, past -10 in one hit that never happens"
High Octane 08-02-06, 07:34 PM	150) he's dead Jim I did that one!!
Cthulhu-LQ 08-03-06, 10:20 AM	152. I see dead people
On_the_wings_of_TPK 08-03-06, 01:43 PM	#32: hand him a blank character recordsheet before session starts.."Just in case" as soon as he dies...hand him 4d6..and tell him you felt something coming As a joke I once handed my party all new character sheets. I told them just in case. I was honestly joking, there wasn't anything too tough that night. Over the course of the night I managed to drop every single one of them. One after another. All in different encounters too. They've never really forgiven me for it yet...
tharivol266 08-04-06, 02:07 AM	just to mess with all of my players i told them to make new characters all at once. they checked every tile, every book, everydoor and every molecule of air for traps taking 20....so on monday night all i have to say is: "you're secondary is up to level right?"
DarthMarasmus 08-04-06, 02:59 AM	153? You have assumed room temperature. 154? Begin playing "Adagio for Strings" 155? "Hey Pallie, how do you like them apples, and by apples, I mean arrows, in your face! Hey Pallie, how do you like them pears, and by pears I mean, DEEZ NUTS!" (good ol' Sarge from Red vs. Blue!)
Tormsskull 08-04-06, 07:47 AM	156.) "Dude, you got knocked the F*** out!" 157.) Play the Queen song "Another one Bites the Dust."
Robert_Fox_Kitsune 08-04-06, 12:08 PM	157) (Name) has pathetically failed at living 158) (Name) made the news...the obituraries! 159) (Name) has become better at dying 160) (Name) should have cut the BLUE wire 161) (Name) had an appointment with the maker 162) (Name) has slipped off his mortal coil 163) (Name) decided to help with the overpopulation problem all courtsey of 'Eternal Lands' ;)