1001 ways to use cheeses [Archive] - Wizards Community

1001 ways to use cheeses [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
DM_Dorito
03-08-06, 09:22 PM I run a campaign-ish mass of completely unrelated adventures, and I, in the real world, have a sick obsession with cheese. I want to incorporate more cheese elements into my game, aside from the Decanter of Endless Cheese, and Intelligent magical item with voiceovers done by Chuck Norris ( Whenever they want to talk to it, I RP it, an we play that cool faceoff music from The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly ( Thanks Rhapsody! ) ). Any suggestions would probably help, but let's face it, most won't rival the good ol' Decanter. But please, by all means, make some. :D
Adam Smite
03-08-06, 09:39 PM Make up some spells that use Cheese in them. Such as a lower-level version of Wall of Stone called Wall of Cheese. The cheese has no hardness, and only 5 hp per 6 inches of thickness. Or a Cheese Wheel that works similarly to the Flaming Sphere spell, but does 2d4 bludgeoning or something.

Or there is always the Limburger Lance.... :P
DM_Dorito
03-08-06, 09:43 PM lol, that's good stuff, keep em comin pplz :cool:
tharivol266
03-08-06, 10:19 PM any of the cloud/fog spells could be the fumes of a stinky cheese. introduce a cheese ray at higher levels along with the spell flesh to cheese.
DaMullet
03-08-06, 10:49 PM Any 'Mordankeinen' spell can be replaced with 'Muenster', to create a giant house made of force cheese, a dog made of cheese, or a large peice of cheese that destroys spell effects.
Damren
03-08-06, 11:21 PM A Gnomish Cheese 'Factory' several stories tall known to the humans as the "Kraft" Hall. The Gnomes could have names patterned after the names of cheeses both popular and obscure. They could also have developed magic cheese that grants the affects of potions.

They may have stories of how the Gnomes invented the cheese wheel to better transport their Kraft and how humans stole it to make their wagons & chariots. Show off the 32 different kinds of cheese graders that they've invented as well as the Cheese Rope, Cheese Balls, Nut Cheese & the famed Gnomish Delight (candied cheese). Needless to say, much of this won't really go over well with the human pallet (pickled cheese anyone?). But, it's all in a days work for a Gnomish Kraftmaster...
ressurrector
03-08-06, 11:57 PM In an old campaign I ran one player had a kobold cleric who could cast good cheese (goodberry)

You could replace various druidical spells related to nuts/berries with the same effects, but with cheese.

You could also have an NPC caster with spell thematics on a cheese theme.
(fireball looks like a big red cheese, the explodes)
ShadowDragon8685
03-09-06, 02:09 AM And of course, we shoulden't forget the ever-popular Web of Cheese spell.... :)
DM_Dorito
03-09-06, 06:59 AM These are cool posts, let's keep this forum alive, and is this an acceptable area to put monsters? It would be sweet if someone make stats for a Cheese Elemental or Cheddar Golem :)
R2
03-09-06, 12:13 PM Have the characters visit the ancient Roque Fort, the battlements of which are overgrown by a bizarre blue mold.

Have a Paladin introduce his alignment as Lawful-a/Gouda.

Cheese might not be particularly hard, but it'd make for some appropriately nasty golems or oozes. Why, I might just publish my own edition of the Muenster Manual!

Or introduce a race of Cheese Dragons, which aren't color-coded like the chromatics or resemble minerals like the metallics, but appear to be made of dairy products. Fear the hard, crumbly Parmasean Dragon! Cower before the goopy, amorphous Brie Dragon! Beware the breath of the disgusting Limburger Dragon! And of course, if they fail negotiations with any of those dragons, the dragon will edam.
neobolts
03-09-06, 12:29 PM I ran a wonderful cheese-based session once. My Eberron party visited a faerie village deep in the Eldeen Reaches. The faeries asked the party for help. A villian had taken a prized treasure, described as a large red cylander. They armed the party's warforged ranger with a removeable arm component, the Greatsword of the Fey. it was a massive flat-topped, wide blade (like the "Buster Sword" from FF7). It had a series of holes pierced thru the side of the blade, and the holes were sharp as well. They party recovered the cylander, noting that the surface was waxy. A wave of horrified realization came to the party's rogue, who sliced into the red waxy coating to reveal the block of cheese beneath. The warforged realized the greatsword was in fact a grate-sword...a massive cheese grater attached to his arm. He says taking fey as his next Favored Enemy.
Thromvald
03-09-06, 12:41 PM Glofurnob is greasy, dark yellow, sharp smelling, and even sharper tasting. In appearance it would resemble swiss cheese that had been left out on the cutting board for a day or two. Its scent is strong, and would be likened to a cross between garlic, and foot leathers, that were worn for FAR to many days. Finally, the flavor is very much like the smell, but with the added effect of a sinus clearing kick, similar the one you'd get if eatting raw horseradish.

This cheese is said to be made of the milk of Rothe, an underdark version of a bovine. There have been many theories as to its creation, but all have been unsubstantiated. Whoever the source is, has kept quiet for centuries, and only deals with one or two people at the most, in the Uyder (Dwarven kingdom). Despite its mysterious orgin, there always seems to be an ample supply.

Glofurnob was introduced to the Dwarven society by Priests of Mauman Duathal. They were the first to use it in thier religous ceremonies. After the consumption of the cheese the the priest would start to meditate, and pray. The first hour or so of this meditation the priest would feel a profound sence of well being, which, in another 45 minutes to an hour, would eventually give way to an extreme euphoria and feelings of divinity, this stage was was refered to as "finding the path". After "finding the path" the real fun begins, as the priest would start to experience fantastic and mind boggling visions. These visions would last, on the average, a week, but there were a few fortunate priests whose expereince extended to an entire month of "Walking in the Light". As the experience winds down, the priest would finish up with more prayer and meditation, and ultimately revive with a feeling of enlightenment and well being.

Eventually the cheese was made known to other priesthoods, and it wasnt long before many priests of many gods within the dwarven pantheon were "Finding the Path". At this point, it was still not frowned upon by the Dwarven society. However, there was a marked decline in the productivitey, community benefits, and social interaction of all priesthoods. It was the preisthood of Abathor (dwarven god of thieves and greed) who introduced Glofurnob to the community as a whole, making a tidy profit, not to mention thousands of catatonic dwarves.

This was when things got bad. The Dwarven economy hit an all time low, many suggest that this caused several problems being faced by the Dwarven society today. A full two thirds of the dwarven population "Found the Path", shops closed, businesses crumbled, and families fell apart.

The king was forced to act. He inforced a martial law, outlawing the cheese across the board. He proclaimed that anyone under the effects, or in the possesion of Glofurnob would be imprisoned until adecuately reformed. He also created a strike force specifically trained to deal with the gathering, and destruction of all traces of the cheese.

In time things evened back out, and the society began to once again become strong. Eventually the strike force was disbanded and martial law was lifted. Now the matter of the outlawed cheese lies solely in the hands of the constabulary. The cheese can still be found however, and is still used by many. There are more than a few high priests, lawful in all other respects, who still "Walk in the Light"!

An excerpt from one of our Homebrew history files...

This, no doubt, lead to an underground Glofurnob trade.

Much fun was to be had...
DMKallan
03-09-06, 12:47 PM Make a prestige class called a cheese-mage, granting them the favored enemy, cheesey humanoids, and giving them many many cheese spells, and they can use grating weapons. :P that would be awesome...
Evandar_TAybara
03-09-06, 12:50 PM :teach: Before you all get carried away, I'd like to remind you of the Danger of Cheese (http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/cheese.htm).

Evan.
Swarms
03-09-06, 04:04 PM CHEESE RUINS LIVES
Just Say NO
RevIron
03-09-06, 04:40 PM Of course, if you've got to have that much cheese, give them cheese rations, or send them to a cheese party (which is what is being cautioned against in that film).
LCD2YOU
03-09-06, 04:49 PM Of course, you players may not like it, but at least you'll get some whine out of it to mix in with the rest of this cheesy thread.

Better yet, have a dungeon made of Swiss Cheese. I'm sure they'll be a lot of wondering Muensters. Be careful not to throw too much at the players as you don't want them all shredded after one encounter.

Yeah, no matter how you slice it, this whole thread is like Limburger.
wreintein
03-09-06, 05:07 PM The first thing I thought about is how adventurers would love to have some Corsican cheeses. At least if either you or one of them have read "Asterix in Corsica". The fumes from a coriscan stink cheese left behind in a ships hull, make the ship blow up into smitheriens when someone with a burning torch enters.
Which brings me to another nice thing (ripped from Asterix and the helvetians {i hope I spelled it right}) which is have large swiss cheese fondu parties. With of course rules for punishment for anyone dropping his piece of bread into the cheese fondu.
GiantSlor
03-09-06, 05:17 PM Grate stuff all.

How about ancient Kolbold trap in Fon-Du. Lots of pit traps placing you into vats of boiling and sucking cheese. Characters with an execptional nose can get a +5 on search checks to find the trap.

You could make a nice magical wedge helmet patterned after the Greenbay Cheesehead's hats. Since it has holes in it, maybe it can absorb magic missle or give an 'absorption' bonus to arrows. Or if an arrow hits the PC, there is a 20% chance of it become stuck in the foam and not injuring the wearer.

Or you could the PCs meat up with two NPCs. One is a yellow skinned gnome, the other is a pasty white elf. Their names are Colby and Jack. Of course they adventure together, but they don't really blend.
duppencf
03-09-06, 05:35 PM I too have used plenty of cheese in my campaigns. Some of them have included:

Item: Everfull bag of Limburger
This was used by a character on several occasions to produce non-lethal, but rather smelly projectiles.

Monster: Cheese-it
This large wheel of cheese sized creature was originally created by a wizard with a rat problem in his tower. They have a killer disguise check to look like an ordinary wheel of cheese, then when something gets close (rat, or otherwise) it opens its mouth and lunges for it. It doesn't do much damage (1d4), unless it swallows it’s pray, in which case there’s a bunch of acid damage that can pretty much dissolve a rat. It’s got improved grab and swallow whole, the key is that it can't swallow anything bigger than tiny.

There was a variant that was moldy on the outside and breathed fire. The mold was fire resistant and served a symbiotic relationship.

Item: Anti-cheese devise
A gnomish cheese hater developed the anti-cheese device that separated cheese into its rudimentary components. It was large and prone to incident, but functioned well for exterminating Cheese-its, which as it turns out, became more of a pest than the rats.
kam_Islash
03-09-06, 07:36 PM Nacho Cheese Glob
Large Ooze
20 Hid Dice.
Nuff said.
Aliquid
03-09-06, 07:58 PM Don't forget the mould/ooze monsters.... some could come from cheese
DM_Dorito
03-09-06, 08:31 PM I'm gonna make a quest where the players are headed to their second stronghold, you guessed it, the tower ( Now dubbed The Tower of Infinite Cheese,
Home of The Norris-inator ), when all of a sudden, the entire Sea ( Azure Sea ) is replaced with bubbling fondue! As the WTFs ensue, I'm gonna have this thing attack them called the Cheese Fish ( created when a crazy cheese mage-bein' kobold reheated his cheese dip with out stirring it first ). Sounds good so far, eh?
Bluehero
03-09-06, 09:14 PM +5 Vorpal Cheese Grater.

Nuff said.
Krug_the_smasher
03-09-06, 10:10 PM BALEFUL POLYMORPH INTO CHEDDAR!!!!! you become helpless, and cannot move until the spell is dismissed or you die....that is the evil in me speaking.

if this strangeness extends to all dairy products, make them fight a butter-churn wielding hell-cow. that would be awesome. then when the cow hit one of them, you could say: "YOUVE BEEN CHURNED!!!"

or for a trap:
"As you walk along the hallway you hear a whirring sound and the floor suddenly opens up below you and *roll reflex saves* what looks like an oversized cheese grater is underneath the floor, and it starts grating you."
sound good?
R2
03-10-06, 10:55 AM Or you could the PCs meat up with two NPCs. One is a yellow skinned gnome, the other is a pasty white elf. Their names are Colby and Jack. Of course they adventure together, but they don't really blend.

Haha... I am taking this idea and making it my own.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
DM_Dorito 03-08-06, 09:22 PM	I run a campaign-ish mass of completely unrelated adventures, and I, in the real world, have a sick obsession with cheese. I want to incorporate more cheese elements into my game, aside from the Decanter of Endless Cheese, and Intelligent magical item with voiceovers done by Chuck Norris ( Whenever they want to talk to it, I RP it, an we play that cool faceoff music from The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly ( Thanks Rhapsody! ) ). Any suggestions would probably help, but let's face it, most won't rival the good ol' Decanter. But please, by all means, make some. :D
Adam Smite 03-08-06, 09:39 PM	Make up some spells that use Cheese in them. Such as a lower-level version of Wall of Stone called Wall of Cheese. The cheese has no hardness, and only 5 hp per 6 inches of thickness. Or a Cheese Wheel that works similarly to the Flaming Sphere spell, but does 2d4 bludgeoning or something. Or there is always the Limburger Lance.... :P
DM_Dorito 03-08-06, 09:43 PM	lol, that's good stuff, keep em comin pplz :cool:
tharivol266 03-08-06, 10:19 PM	any of the cloud/fog spells could be the fumes of a stinky cheese. introduce a cheese ray at higher levels along with the spell flesh to cheese.
DaMullet 03-08-06, 10:49 PM	Any 'Mordankeinen' spell can be replaced with 'Muenster', to create a giant house made of force cheese, a dog made of cheese, or a large peice of cheese that destroys spell effects.
Damren 03-08-06, 11:21 PM	A Gnomish Cheese 'Factory' several stories tall known to the humans as the "Kraft" Hall. The Gnomes could have names patterned after the names of cheeses both popular and obscure. They could also have developed magic cheese that grants the affects of potions. They may have stories of how the Gnomes invented the cheese wheel to better transport their Kraft and how humans stole it to make their wagons & chariots. Show off the 32 different kinds of cheese graders that they've invented as well as the Cheese Rope, Cheese Balls, Nut Cheese & the famed Gnomish Delight (candied cheese). Needless to say, much of this won't really go over well with the human pallet (pickled cheese anyone?). But, it's all in a days work for a Gnomish Kraftmaster...
ressurrector 03-08-06, 11:57 PM	In an old campaign I ran one player had a kobold cleric who could cast good cheese (goodberry) You could replace various druidical spells related to nuts/berries with the same effects, but with cheese. You could also have an NPC caster with spell thematics on a cheese theme. (fireball looks like a big red cheese, the explodes)
ShadowDragon8685 03-09-06, 02:09 AM	And of course, we shoulden't forget the ever-popular Web of Cheese spell.... :)
DM_Dorito 03-09-06, 06:59 AM	These are cool posts, let's keep this forum alive, and is this an acceptable area to put monsters? It would be sweet if someone make stats for a Cheese Elemental or Cheddar Golem :)
R2 03-09-06, 12:13 PM	Have the characters visit the ancient Roque Fort, the battlements of which are overgrown by a bizarre blue mold. Have a Paladin introduce his alignment as Lawful-a/Gouda. Cheese might not be particularly hard, but it'd make for some appropriately nasty golems or oozes. Why, I might just publish my own edition of the Muenster Manual! Or introduce a race of Cheese Dragons, which aren't color-coded like the chromatics or resemble minerals like the metallics, but appear to be made of dairy products. Fear the hard, crumbly Parmasean Dragon! Cower before the goopy, amorphous Brie Dragon! Beware the breath of the disgusting Limburger Dragon! And of course, if they fail negotiations with any of those dragons, the dragon will edam.
neobolts 03-09-06, 12:29 PM	I ran a wonderful cheese-based session once. My Eberron party visited a faerie village deep in the Eldeen Reaches. The faeries asked the party for help. A villian had taken a prized treasure, described as a large red cylander. They armed the party's warforged ranger with a removeable arm component, the Greatsword of the Fey. it was a massive flat-topped, wide blade (like the "Buster Sword" from FF7). It had a series of holes pierced thru the side of the blade, and the holes were sharp as well. They party recovered the cylander, noting that the surface was waxy. A wave of horrified realization came to the party's rogue, who sliced into the red waxy coating to reveal the block of cheese beneath. The warforged realized the greatsword was in fact a grate-sword...a massive cheese grater attached to his arm. He says taking fey as his next Favored Enemy.
Thromvald 03-09-06, 12:41 PM	Glofurnob is greasy, dark yellow, sharp smelling, and even sharper tasting. In appearance it would resemble swiss cheese that had been left out on the cutting board for a day or two. Its scent is strong, and would be likened to a cross between garlic, and foot leathers, that were worn for FAR to many days. Finally, the flavor is very much like the smell, but with the added effect of a sinus clearing kick, similar the one you'd get if eatting raw horseradish. This cheese is said to be made of the milk of Rothe, an underdark version of a bovine. There have been many theories as to its creation, but all have been unsubstantiated. Whoever the source is, has kept quiet for centuries, and only deals with one or two people at the most, in the Uyder (Dwarven kingdom). Despite its mysterious orgin, there always seems to be an ample supply. Glofurnob was introduced to the Dwarven society by Priests of Mauman Duathal. They were the first to use it in thier religous ceremonies. After the consumption of the cheese the the priest would start to meditate, and pray. The first hour or so of this meditation the priest would feel a profound sence of well being, which, in another 45 minutes to an hour, would eventually give way to an extreme euphoria and feelings of divinity, this stage was was refered to as "finding the path". After "finding the path" the real fun begins, as the priest would start to experience fantastic and mind boggling visions. These visions would last, on the average, a week, but there were a few fortunate priests whose expereince extended to an entire month of "Walking in the Light". As the experience winds down, the priest would finish up with more prayer and meditation, and ultimately revive with a feeling of enlightenment and well being. Eventually the cheese was made known to other priesthoods, and it wasnt long before many priests of many gods within the dwarven pantheon were "Finding the Path". At this point, it was still not frowned upon by the Dwarven society. However, there was a marked decline in the productivitey, community benefits, and social interaction of all priesthoods. It was the preisthood of Abathor (dwarven god of thieves and greed) who introduced Glofurnob to the community as a whole, making a tidy profit, not to mention thousands of catatonic dwarves. This was when things got bad. The Dwarven economy hit an all time low, many suggest that this caused several problems being faced by the Dwarven society today. A full two thirds of the dwarven population "Found the Path", shops closed, businesses crumbled, and families fell apart. The king was forced to act. He inforced a martial law, outlawing the cheese across the board. He proclaimed that anyone under the effects, or in the possesion of Glofurnob would be imprisoned until adecuately reformed. He also created a strike force specifically trained to deal with the gathering, and destruction of all traces of the cheese. In time things evened back out, and the society began to once again become strong. Eventually the strike force was disbanded and martial law was lifted. Now the matter of the outlawed cheese lies solely in the hands of the constabulary. The cheese can still be found however, and is still used by many. There are more than a few high priests, lawful in all other respects, who still "Walk in the Light"! An excerpt from one of our Homebrew history files... This, no doubt, lead to an underground Glofurnob trade. Much fun was to be had...
DMKallan 03-09-06, 12:47 PM	Make a prestige class called a cheese-mage, granting them the favored enemy, cheesey humanoids, and giving them many many cheese spells, and they can use grating weapons. :P that would be awesome...
Evandar_TAybara 03-09-06, 12:50 PM	:teach: Before you all get carried away, I'd like to remind you of the Danger of Cheese (http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/cheese.htm). Evan.
Swarms 03-09-06, 04:04 PM	CHEESE RUINS LIVES Just Say NO
RevIron 03-09-06, 04:40 PM	Of course, if you've got to have that much cheese, give them cheese rations, or send them to a cheese party (which is what is being cautioned against in that film).
LCD2YOU 03-09-06, 04:49 PM	Of course, you players may not like it, but at least you'll get some whine out of it to mix in with the rest of this cheesy thread. Better yet, have a dungeon made of Swiss Cheese. I'm sure they'll be a lot of wondering Muensters. Be careful not to throw too much at the players as you don't want them all shredded after one encounter. Yeah, no matter how you slice it, this whole thread is like Limburger.
wreintein 03-09-06, 05:07 PM	The first thing I thought about is how adventurers would love to have some Corsican cheeses. At least if either you or one of them have read "Asterix in Corsica". The fumes from a coriscan stink cheese left behind in a ships hull, make the ship blow up into smitheriens when someone with a burning torch enters. Which brings me to another nice thing (ripped from Asterix and the helvetians {i hope I spelled it right}) which is have large swiss cheese fondu parties. With of course rules for punishment for anyone dropping his piece of bread into the cheese fondu.
GiantSlor 03-09-06, 05:17 PM	Grate stuff all. How about ancient Kolbold trap in Fon-Du. Lots of pit traps placing you into vats of boiling and sucking cheese. Characters with an execptional nose can get a +5 on search checks to find the trap. You could make a nice magical wedge helmet patterned after the Greenbay Cheesehead's hats. Since it has holes in it, maybe it can absorb magic missle or give an 'absorption' bonus to arrows. Or if an arrow hits the PC, there is a 20% chance of it become stuck in the foam and not injuring the wearer. Or you could the PCs meat up with two NPCs. One is a yellow skinned gnome, the other is a pasty white elf. Their names are Colby and Jack. Of course they adventure together, but they don't really blend.
duppencf 03-09-06, 05:35 PM	I too have used plenty of cheese in my campaigns. Some of them have included: Item: Everfull bag of Limburger This was used by a character on several occasions to produce non-lethal, but rather smelly projectiles. Monster: Cheese-it This large wheel of cheese sized creature was originally created by a wizard with a rat problem in his tower. They have a killer disguise check to look like an ordinary wheel of cheese, then when something gets close (rat, or otherwise) it opens its mouth and lunges for it. It doesn't do much damage (1d4), unless it swallows it’s pray, in which case there’s a bunch of acid damage that can pretty much dissolve a rat. It’s got improved grab and swallow whole, the key is that it can't swallow anything bigger than tiny. There was a variant that was moldy on the outside and breathed fire. The mold was fire resistant and served a symbiotic relationship. Item: Anti-cheese devise A gnomish cheese hater developed the anti-cheese device that separated cheese into its rudimentary components. It was large and prone to incident, but functioned well for exterminating Cheese-its, which as it turns out, became more of a pest than the rats.
kam_Islash 03-09-06, 07:36 PM	Nacho Cheese Glob Large Ooze 20 Hid Dice. Nuff said.
Aliquid 03-09-06, 07:58 PM	Don't forget the mould/ooze monsters.... some could come from cheese
DM_Dorito 03-09-06, 08:31 PM	I'm gonna make a quest where the players are headed to their second stronghold, you guessed it, the tower ( Now dubbed The Tower of Infinite Cheese, Home of The Norris-inator ), when all of a sudden, the entire Sea ( Azure Sea ) is replaced with bubbling fondue! As the WTFs ensue, I'm gonna have this thing attack them called the Cheese Fish ( created when a crazy cheese mage-bein' kobold reheated his cheese dip with out stirring it first ). Sounds good so far, eh?
Bluehero 03-09-06, 09:14 PM	+5 Vorpal Cheese Grater. Nuff said.
Krug_the_smasher 03-09-06, 10:10 PM	BALEFUL POLYMORPH INTO CHEDDAR!!!!! you become helpless, and cannot move until the spell is dismissed or you die....that is the evil in me speaking. if this strangeness extends to all dairy products, make them fight a butter-churn wielding hell-cow. that would be awesome. then when the cow hit one of them, you could say: "YOUVE BEEN CHURNED!!!" or for a trap: "As you walk along the hallway you hear a whirring sound and the floor suddenly opens up below you and roll reflex saves what looks like an oversized cheese grater is underneath the floor, and it starts grating you." sound good?
R2 03-10-06, 10:55 AM	Or you could the PCs meat up with two NPCs. One is a yellow skinned gnome, the other is a pasty white elf. Their names are Colby and Jack. Of course they adventure together, but they don't really blend. Haha... I am taking this idea and making it my own.