Post/Author/DateTime	Post
SOKAR 09-16-04, 10:29 PM	this probaly won't last, but i thought it my give some people a good laugh. 1)Dm (me): You enter the door into a small chamber. Four human warrior skeletons are guarding a small pile of gold. Cleric: I use turn undead. Me: Present your holy symbol. Him: What Holy symbol?
Gilgiga of the Hunt 09-16-04, 10:50 PM	Ow, that hurt to read. But I've seen many an advanced player forget to add "Holy Symbol" to their gear list. Dm: Alright time to make first level charcters. Player: Here's my Drow Ranger Are all of these gonna be really, really lame :rolleyes:
SOKAR 09-16-04, 10:53 PM	Ow, that hurt to read. But I've seen many an advanced player forget to add "Holy Symbol" to their gear list. Dm: Alright time to make first level charcters. Player: Here's my Drow Ranger Are all of these gonna be really, really lame :rolleyes: Notice, he did not say 'oh, I forgot add holy symbol' or whatever. We were on are first adventure, and he did not know what a holy symbol was. I only have core books... Is that Drow ranger thing in reference to some campaign story line? EDIT: Oh, wait, Drow are LA+2, so it would not be ECL 1... I get it.
Lanoitakude 09-16-04, 11:01 PM	So me and the players (I'm DMing) are talking about what characters everyone is going to play as in our upcoming campaign. (I've played with this guy for multiple years) Player: "Alright, I'm going to play as a sorcerer, they are cool." Me: "Okay, cool. I think you'll enjoy their spontenaeity (sp?) and flavor." Player: "Ya, um...what do sorcerer's do again?" True story. Also, the players seem to never remember AoO rules, nor when you can full-attack... Player: "Alright, I move 30ft past the goblin to the ogre and swing with both my swords." Me: "..." Player: "Alright, I'll cast Scorching Ray at the ugly thing." Me: "Okay, the goblins surrounding you see that you are letting your guard down, and.." Player: "I CAST ON THE DEFENSIVE!"
angryman 09-16-04, 11:24 PM	-Could I play Elminister? (deliberate misspelling) -My wizard's wearing fullplate -My fighter's using a dagger -Can I dual-class? -Monks are unbalanced.
Murr-Quan Lord #2 09-16-04, 11:26 PM	The Drow Ranger, I believe, is in reference to Drizzt Do'Urden of the Forgotten Realms. He featured in a lot of novels, and is quite the iconic character, so much so that a ton of newbies seem to like imitating him. That, and Drow can't be played at level one without using the template class posted on this website.
Dash Branaghan 09-16-04, 11:34 PM	DM: What is your AC? Player: 18 DM: Ooooh, too bad....that just hits on a 19. Player: Uh, I never invoked my dodge against them, did I? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DM: The golem lumbers towards the fighter, swinging and missing. Next. Player (Rogue): I sneak up on it and backstab it. DM: "..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DM (to party Sorc/Wiz Lvl 1): The familiar returns from the scouting mission you sent him on. Player: Cool. So I know everything he saw, right? DM: How would you know that? Player: Well, he's my familiar. We have a bond...he can tell me everything he saw. DM (handing over dictionary while rolling eyes): Feel free to look up the difference between Empathy and Telepathy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DM: The drow disarms you, what do you do. Fighter: I punch him in the face. DM: Okaaaaaayyyy...Drow takes his AoO. Fighter: How can he do that? I'm wearing gauntlets. DM: "..." Dash
TheDoomBringer 09-17-04, 01:07 AM	"DM: The golem lumbers towards the fighter, swinging and missing. Next. Player (Rogue): I sneak up on it and backstab it. DM: "..."" Players might not know that one, its info from the MM, so its not expected (or desirable) of the players to know this. When they ask how THAC0 works, and its a 3.5 campaign.
LordArkan 09-17-04, 01:28 AM	15. "I take 10 on my attack roll!" 16. DM: Roll Initiative! PC1: Ok... *picks up a d12*
Dash Branaghan 09-17-04, 01:35 AM	"DM: The golem lumbers towards the fighter, swinging and missing. Next. Player (Rogue): I sneak up on it and backstab it. DM: "..."" Players might not know that one, its info from the MM, so its not expected (or desirable) of the players to know this. Most players know a Golem is a construct, and the description of the Sneak Attack ability in the PHB states specifically that it doesn't work on Constructs, Oozes, Undead, etc...I still get experienced gamers trying for it. Dash
JonnyBoy 09-17-04, 01:46 AM	DM: Ok, there's four kobolds in front of you. What do you do? Player(rogue): I cast Waterskin... DM: Thats not a spell, and you're not a spellcaster Player: But, I think that I've read it somewhere
WCH 09-17-04, 02:38 AM	18. When asked OOG why the wizard hasn't been using any spells, he responds "I didn't pick any..." (really happened -- it was his first game)
amethal 09-17-04, 04:59 AM	19. DM "Make a listen check check" Player "What dice do I roll?" DM "Make an initiative check" Player "What dice do I roll?" DM "Make a hit roll" Player "What dice do I roll?" DM "Make a saving throw" Player "What dice do I roll?" DM "Ever wondered what the d20 system is?"
Master Agnald 09-17-04, 08:05 AM	This has actually happened: Player: I attack the monster DM: OK, roll the dice Player (while a bit distracted): Huh? Fortitude? In case you're wondering the last roll he'd made was a Fort check... Player: Whoo-hoo, I scored a critical hit! (on an undead monster) (happens often) Player (playing a wizard): I'll cast Magic Missile. DM: OK... do you have it prepared? Player: Prepare? what do you mean by that? Player: I think I'll play a paladin *puts his score of 8 on strenght* (true story too)
Thelandrach 09-17-04, 09:21 AM	The party started at 1st level and is now 3rd level Player: How come my Bard isn't as tough a fighter as the actual Fighters? He should be! He should have fighting skills, and thief skills, and druid spells, and a bunch of stuff specific to Bards... I remember other bards that ruled...
Malraux 09-17-04, 02:58 PM	(n00b) Cleric: Ok, I've turned undead, how long do I stay as an undead? Everyone else at table: :eek:
Ricky 09-17-04, 03:17 PM	:heehee: :rofl:
VirgilCaine 09-17-04, 03:27 PM	DM (to party Sorc/Wiz Lvl 1): The familiar returns from the scouting mission you sent him on. Player: Cool. So I know everything he saw, right? DM: How would you know that? Player: Well, he's my familiar. We have a bond...he can tell me everything he saw. DM (handing over dictionary while rolling eyes): Feel free to look up the difference between Empathy and Telepathy. Confusing, isn't it? Empathic Link: The master has an empathic link with the familiar out to a distance of up to one mile. The master cannot see through the familiar's eyes, but the two of them can communicate telepathically. This is a supernatural ability.
Valoy_Muniz 09-17-04, 03:49 PM	The best has to be from back in 2nd when the thief looked at his sheet 3 times and look at the battle field each time and then said "I am going to hide inside Lingman (Our players's fighter at the time) shadow since I have a 75% chance of hiding in shadows." The player though he opend the person shadow and steped in like it was a room.
Dash Branaghan 09-17-04, 03:56 PM	Confusing, isn't it? The master has an empathic link with his familiar out to a distance of up to 1 mile. The master cannot see through the familiar's eyes, but they can communicate empathetically. Because of the limited nature of the link, only general emotional content (such as fear, hunger, happiness, curiousity) can be communicated. Confusing? Not really. Especially when you read the RAW. It makes it fairly clear that empathy is not telepathy. Dash PS: Loves the irony of having the examples questioned here...boy, does it fit the category of this thread. :D
VirgilCaine 09-17-04, 04:01 PM	Confusing? Not really. Especially when you read the RAW. It makes it fairly clear that empathy is not telepathy. Dash Gee, thats RAW--3.0 SRD, but then I don't use 3.5, not that that matters here. Odd that it wouldn't be in the SRD under "Familiars, Mounts and Companions." Doesn't seem very unique... Oh, well. Not my problem.
Dash Branaghan 09-17-04, 04:03 PM	Yeah, they changed that, hence why I included it. My player with a sorcerer still argues that one with me, despite our conversion to 3.5. Telepathy is gone, Empathy is in. *shrugs* Dash
Thelandrach 09-21-04, 09:33 AM	The best has to be from back in 2nd when the thief looked at his sheet 3 times and look at the battle field each time and then said "I am going to hide inside Lingman (Our players's fighter at the time) shadow since I have a 75% chance of hiding in shadows." The player though he opend the person shadow and steped in like it was a room. Well, in d20, that's Hide in Plain Sight. :D
Kolo 09-21-04, 12:32 PM	TRUE STORIES FROM THE GAMING TABLE DM; Make a will save against the spell. Player; I add my Armor Class to that, right? -ö- DM; The orc charges out of the bushes, taking you by surprise. Player; He can't do that! DM; why not? Player; I've got Evasion! Dm;... :confused: Player; It allows me to evade encounters! -ö- DM; "We've been through this a hundred times. First of all, you can't blind someone by casting light at their eyes, and people are not helpless when blinded-they just take certain penalties. Second, it takes a move-equivalent action to move towards him and then a full-round action to remove something from your backpack, so you are going to have to wait. and THIRD, you'll probably have to grapple him if you actually want to pour it down his pants. Now is that clear?" (it was alchemist's fire, in case you're wondering. the guy asked no less than six times if he could do this over the course of 7 sessions.) -ö- Player; "Sorcerers and fighters are SO broken!" Thank you all and have a nice day. ;)
JabberWocky 09-21-04, 12:48 PM	Scenes from my table...in each case I am the DM. DM: "The ogre charges you and swings his club. Your AC is...?" Monk: "21." DM: "Oh, barely hits." *picks up dice to roll damage* Monk: "What about my evasion?" DM: "What about it?" Monk: "I want to dodge his club." DM: "..." *picks up four additional dice...* Rogue: "I charge the orc in front!" Ranger: "I don't have Listen, what do I add to that?" (After two years of playing nothing but rangers, too) Wizard: *in a whining tone* "But what can I do? I have a base attack bonus of +9, a +1 light crossbow, and a rat! I can't do anything!" DM: "....YOU'RE AN 18TH LEVEL WIZARD!" Wizard: "Yeah, but I'm not as good as the fighter." Fighter: "Try casting a :censored: spell!" Wizard: "But I don't know how to..." Fighter: "I take a five-foot step and attack the troll." *Level 12 Fighter rolls once, announces attack roll and damage* DM: "Okay...?" *waits patiently for him to roll his other two attacks* Fighter: "I guess that's all I can do..." DM: "...of course it is. Now the troll swings three times at you with its greatsword." Fighter: "HOW COME HE GETS TO SWING THREE TIMES!?" ---Or, in a somewhat related case--- Pixie Rogue: "I stab him four times with my dagger!" DM: "...you can't." Rogue: "Why not?" DM: "You have a BaB of +2." Rogue: "So? I'm so small and fast I think I could hit him four times before he even turns around."
Echo35 09-21-04, 01:18 PM	I've had a few of these too: Bard: Im casting a spell. DM: Ok........ What one? Bard: I don't know, I didn't pick spells yet.... Rouge: Wait, he can fight better than me? DM: Yeah, he's a fighter. Rouge: Well what am I good for then? Wizard (I actually did this): I'm casting gaseous form. DM: Ok. Wizard: Uh..... What does it do?
eRaz0r 09-21-04, 02:30 PM	"I attack the darkness"
PaladinKD 09-21-04, 02:45 PM	16. DM: Roll Initiative! PC1: Ok... *picks up a d12* MAN I HATE THAT!!!! If they do that, I tell them after the roll and make them stick with the roll! UUURRGHHH.
Sucineri 09-21-04, 04:01 PM	(n00b) Cleric: Ok, I've turned undead, how long do I stay as an undead? I actually went through the exact same thing..good thing I was playing Baldur's Gate on PC alone instead of at a gaming table or I would have looked like an idiot! :P Player: I think I'll play a paladin *puts his score of 8 on strenght* (true story too) Well, if people can play a Halfling Paladin, I don't see why that's so bad..as long as they put their high stats in wis/cha or something.
PaladinKD 09-21-04, 04:07 PM	(n00b) Cleric: Ok, I've turned undead, how long do I stay as an undead? Everyone else at table: :eek: Silly N00b maneuver, but EXCELLENT idea for a spell. :D
Eightbitmage 09-21-04, 04:16 PM	Guy has been playing D&D for about a year, and even tried to DM his own game, yet he has never read the rules. Example: He makes a 8th level druid. The druid is equipped with studded leather armor, a longsword, a small metal shield, a rapier and none of it is magical despite having a few thousand gold he can spend. The feat finesse fighting (str 14 dex 8) and 14 + ranks in some skills. He was unaware he could turn into an animal, and all he wanted to do in combat was cast call lightning. I am never allowing him to play any class besides fighter or barbarian again.
cbolt_toak 09-21-04, 05:23 PM	Not not only the PCs, but some of my friends, now DM's-in-training under my guidence, have had games that go like this: In A Level 1 Campaign: DM: You approach the water, and a water naga appears. (CR 7) *After some fighting, in which the naga only uses it's bite attack without poison* DM: You succeed, Cbolt, how much XP do they gain? Me(Lying cause it's funnier): None, the naga's CR is too high. DM: No, seriously. How much? Me(Being nice): How about we just say they all are now level 2 with 2999 XP, since regardless, they deserve it for killing a naga that lost it's spell-casting ability and the poison in it's bite. DM: Spells? Poison? Me(points in book): See? DM: Oh, I didn't see that. After that I was given control of monsters, and it was after I obliterated the entire party that I explained how challange ratings worked. Here are a few more to add to the list: Player: I want to be a Vampire. Me: Ok, go find one. *hands them a level 1 Paladin* Player(Afflicted Lycantrope): *recently woke up* Why is everyone dead? Me: No idea. Player: Ok, I go hunting. Me: Profession(hunter)? Player: No, Survival. Me: Ok, roll. Player: 12. Me: Ok. (Thinking he knows he failed.) Player: *waits*, well, did I find a deer or something? Me: Um, the DC is 15. Player: Then I look for bunnies, what's their DC? Me: 15. Player: Insects? Me: 15. Player: Nuts and Berries? Me: 15. Player: The Flesh of a Human Commoner? Me: 15, with a -2 conditional modifier for being in a town, still failed. Player: I want to Craft an Inkpen. Me: Ok, Inkpen...80sp, that will cost you 27sp for raw materials. Player: Wait, I am in a forest, who do I give the money to? Me: (Laughs) Excellent point. *Shows him the rules* I say just throw it up in the air and magical materials should appear. Player: Ok then, I do it, so, now what? Me: Now you make Search checks for your coins, and I laugh at you. A List of Random Player Questions that perturb me: 1. "How many hit points those a cow have?" 2. "What good is Decipher Script?" 3. "Which way should we go?" 4. "How many of the goblins are girls?" 5. "I'll make a Knowledge check!" *Chokes Player, cause he knows I have to make DCs for all Knowledge checks* 6. "I still think I can use Reflex to dodge attacks." 7. "I rolled a natural 20 on my Gather Information check! I know everything!" 8. "I can starve in this game?" 9. "I can be mind-controlled in this game?" 10. "Can I cast true ressurection on that pile of dust in the corner of the room? It might have been a famous wizard" 11. *Explains to one of the other players what the tactics should be for the combat, during combat, and then dies from a fatal heart attack...* 12, and lastly, "What does *Insert Spell Here* do?"
Sucineri 09-21-04, 05:58 PM	5. "I'll make a Knowledge check!" *Chokes Player, cause he knows I have to make DCs for all Knowledge checks* It annoys you just because they are actually using knowledge checks instead of metagaming? That is just lazy on your part. 7. "I rolled a natural 20 on my Gather Information check! I know everything!" This one is actually pretty funny, I don't know why it would annoy you. Unless they said the same thing about every skill they have ever rolled a 20 on. 10. "Can I cast true ressurection on that pile of dust in the corner of the room? It might have been a famous wizard" You know, that is actually some pretty creative thinking..it's not exactly the most logical thinking, but it is still creative. Don't penalize them for that, just tell them "No, not this time around..but you gave me an idea". Player: The Flesh of a Human Commoner? Me: 15, with a -2 conditional modifier for being in a town, still failed. Hahahahaha! Player: I want to Craft an Inkpen. Me: Ok, Inkpen...80sp, that will cost you 27sp for raw materials. Player: Wait, I am in a forest, who do I give the money to? Me: (Laughs) Excellent point. *Shows him the rules* I say just throw it up in the air and magical materials should appear. Player: Ok then, I do it, so, now what? Me: Now you make Search checks for your coins, and I laugh at you. That's probably something I would have done to my player as well, hahaha! He makes a 8th level druid. The druid is equipped with studded leather armor, a longsword, a small metal shield, a rapier and none of it is magical despite having a few thousand gold he can spend. The feat finesse fighting (str 14 dex 8) and 14 + ranks in some skills. He was unaware he could turn into an animal, and all he wanted to do in combat was cast call lightning. I am never allowing him to play any class besides fighter or barbarian again. So he wants to use Call Lightning..what's wrong with that? I understand that he doesn't grasp the full understanding of the rules, but you should just try to help him out with what a druid is capable of instead of just giving him a "STUPID!" sticker on his forehead and telling him he can't play without adult supervision ever again. I hate intolerance.
Ratheus 09-21-04, 06:11 PM	Player 1: Ha ha, you're going to play a guy in robes who chants Player 2: Let me explain D&D monks to you... DM: As soon as you are in the middle of this 40 foot room, iron bars fall to cut off your escape. Player (encumbered Dwarf in full plate) I run and dive under the gates before they close! Player: Of course I have twenty points in all my class skills. I get 5 per level, and I'm level 4 now, so that's 20 points in each skill. Player 1: I'm going to make a bull rush Player 2: We're fighting orcs, not livestock Player: Wait a minute, I got spells? When did this happen? Player: My paladin punches the bar tender, grabs a keg and steals a horse to get away. DM: Hey! Experience points chart! I thought adding all those CRs was taking forever for you guys to get to level 2. Player (wiz): But Gandalf fights with a big sword and a big staff. Player: I am buying a greataxe DM: You're a gnome. It's too big for you to use effectively Player: I'll get used to it Player: I don't need to make a hide check, I'm wearing hide armor! Player: I'm taking knowledge: your dungeons. Let me see those maps. DM: I didn't go buy a campaign, I just brought a dragon lance novel. That's got everything we'll need, right?
Didge 09-21-04, 11:23 PM	These are all good, and I thought I'd add a few. These have all been asked at the table (most of which from experienced gamers even...sigh). Players (all of them, including the guy playing the bard): Look, the picture in the Player's Handbook shows the bard wielding a light crossbow. I think WOTC has a misprint and the bard should have it instead of the shortbow. DM: (Shaking my head) So you guys agree I should take out the Bard's shortbow? Players: Yeah, the picture shows him wielding a light crossbow, he should have that. DM: *sighs* =='==,=='==,=='==,=='== Player: What the $#@*! DM: What's the matter??? Player: What happens to a dagger that you throw after 10'? Does it hit an imaginary wall and fall? I can certainly throw a dagger over 10'. This sucks. DM: *sighs* You do realize....nevermind. Just read the rules on throwing before you make offhand comments next time. Player: why? what are you talking about? =='==,=='==,=='==,=='== After I've told the players that I'd like to play a campaign that is straight core rules (and yes they know what that means) I've had this conversation. Player: Hey I've been looking at all these splatbooks and I think this feat fits my character. Can I have it? I've also been looking at this prestige class in this offshot d20 system and I really want to work towards this class. I've also rewritten some spells, so can I take those instead? DM: No, no, and no. No means no, what part of no don't you understand??? Player: so you'll think about it?? DM: *Sigh* =='==,=='==,=='==,=='== As a side note, I've noticed alot of my interaction with my players ends up with me sighing alot. Not sure if that's a good thing.
catowar 09-22-04, 12:24 AM	me (dm): ok its your turn player:ok... so what do I do? :mymy: true story
darczero 09-22-04, 12:25 AM	Player: How come my Bard isn't as tough a fighter as the actual Fighters? He should be! He should have fighting skills, and thief skills, and druid spells, and a bunch of stuff specific to Bards... I remember other bards that [i]ruled... Yea, I remember those days too... back in the 80's before 2nd edition had been released.
cbolt_toak 09-22-04, 01:26 AM	Oh, firstly... -They ask for knowledge checks for everything, just to bug me. (I haven't seen a good use for that skill yet, except synergy) -They do think rolling a natural 20 on a skill gives them something crazy. -Yes, I thought it was a nice thought for them to cast true resurrection on a pile of dust, the thing is they do this all the time. They try and cast spells on things that really have no effect, and look in places that have no importance or significance, cause their last DM hid easter eggs (Specials for doing specific tasks) all over the place, and it ruined their style of play ("Hey, can I look under the man's feet?" "um...why?" "To see if their is something under it." "ugh") In Response to Catowar's statement, I once had a group that thought D&D was just like a text adventure, so they would keep asking me for a list of commands. Eventually they ended up playing like this: DM: You are in the town of Busgey, a bustling little trade outpost out in the middle of the archipelago. Player: I make a Spot Check. DM: *?* You see Busgey. Player: I make a Search Check on Busgey. DM: *smiles devilishly* For how long? Player: For 1 day. DM: Drat, hoping you were gonna say "Until I finished", alright, you search Busgey, you find Busgey. Player: I Examine Busgey. DM: *clinches fist* You notice the town's name is Busgey. Player: I Enter Busgey. DM: YOU ARE ALREADY IN THE TOWN OF BUSGEY! Player: Um, Exits? DM: Exits? Um, well, *looks at map* I suppose...North, South, East, West. Player: I Exit North. DM: *Mumbling "Exits North, yeesh"*, ok, you see a man. Player: I make a Spot Check on the man. DM: You see a man. Player: I make a Search Check on the man. DM: Are you bloody kidding me? It was so methodical, but not mechanical, they weren't getting anywhere like this. I was going mad playing like that and I had to introduce them to modern RPG computer games before I would ever get behind the DM Screen. They got better, but the group never really wanted to fight anything, just roleplay mysteries and puzzles and stuff. It wasn't boring but it was tiring to develop the stories and puzzles.
Lu Baihu 09-22-04, 01:11 PM	Your player thinks that he needs to add his Int modifier to spell damage supposedly to make them "more balanced" against fighters. Your player thinks that rods of metamagic are appropriate gear for 4th level. (How to know that I hadn't read the DMG: I thought this too and have come to regret it ever since ... first chance I get, I'm getting rid of it.) Your player thinks that Dork 20 is a good idea. Your player thinks that sorcerers cast spells as a full-round action and uses this (as well as their low spells-known progression) as his excuse never to play them.
green_yawgmoth 09-22-04, 01:24 PM	18. When asked OOG why the wizard hasn't been using any spells, he responds "I didn't pick any..." (really happened -- it was his first game)I saw this just last saturday, only it was a druid. The kid also thought you added your con, etc. score to fort, etc. saves. And had no idea how to do skill ranks. And wanted to take exotic weapon proficiency. And he said he'd read the druid over a bunch of times, and had played for years. :nonono: http://photobucket.com/albums/v91/yawgmoth/kittyjig.gif
monkeywrench 09-22-04, 01:52 PM	This one's about me :( So I'm playing in our high level campaign as a Druid 15. This campaign is basically designed to get the powergame desire out of our system. So for some odd reason, I equip my druid with a sickle and scimitar and take combat expertise and improved trip Even better: Nowhere in my feat list did I have Spell Focus (conj.) or Augment Summoning. So we're running after the evil sorcerer in a maze on the elemental plane of earth, when a xorn pops up in front of us. The DM lets us make knowledge (the planes) checks to realized that this is an elder xorn, one with advanced HD. I've been tracking him with my survival skill, so I'm in front when he pops up. Rather than withdrawing from combat and letting the Psion (shaper) start unleashing the Astral Constructs, I decide to pull out my scimitar and stab it. He crits me. I'm down to about 1/4 of my original HP. So I cast Find the Path on myself and turn and run. Bad part: I didn't announce I was casting defensively. Nor did I (again) bother to just withdraw and then try to run. Result? Dead Druid. I read the PHB a lot more thoroughly after that one. I figured my new Sorcerer wouldn't fall victim to that same trap. Then in the next session, my sorc died after a Grey Slaad hit him with Destruction. Bleargh.
Valoy_Muniz 09-22-04, 02:15 PM	I know this is off topick but I can not help. My players if they roll a one on a serch or a spot cheack drop to the floor telling my the are looking for their eyes as they have fallen out of their heads again.
eRaz0r 09-22-04, 02:17 PM	Your player thinks that he needs to add his Int modifier to spell damage supposedly to make them "more balanced" against fighters. Your player thinks that rods of metamagic are appropriate gear for 4th level. (How to know that I hadn't read the DMG: I thought this too and have come to regret it ever since ... first chance I get, I'm getting rid of it.) Your player thinks that Dork 20 is a good idea. Your player thinks that sorcerers cast spells as a full-round action and uses this (as well as their low spells-known progression) as his excuse never to play them. Don't forget the other one you mentioned "Your player thinks that Wizards don't need a spellbook, and memorize their spells from the entire Sorc/Wiz spell list the same way Clerics memorize from their list." No wonder he doesn't like Sorcerers - they have an obvious restriction on spells known that he probably couldn't slip past you. BTW, Sunder is a great thing to use to rid your PCs of painful items. Use it sparingly, and it will be your friend. Alternatively, when you put the smack down on the party, leave them alive, but strip them of all their items. By the time he gets to the guy who now has his Metamagic Rod, he'll be high enough level that it's appropriate for his wealth level.
The Shaman 09-22-04, 02:29 PM	Introducing a new player to character creation... GM: "Okay, you have these six attributes, and you roll the dice to give each attribute a score or value. Now roll these four six-sided dice, we'll take away the lowest die and add up the rest, and that will be your first ability score." (Player nods, rolls 4d6, gets straight sixes.) Player: "Is that good?" GM (wide-eyed): "Yes, that's very good!" Player: "Oh, so it's like Yahtzee!"
Lu Baihu 09-22-04, 03:06 PM	Don't forget the other one you mentioned "Your player thinks that Wizards don't need a spellbook, and memorize their spells from the entire Sorc/Wiz spell list the same way Clerics memorize from their list." No wonder he doesn't like Sorcerers - they have an obvious restriction on spells known that he probably couldn't slip past you.Well, do you keep track of time actively enough that the sorcerers' spontaneous spellcasting is useful? (Since reportedly that's what justifies their low spells-known list.) Now he's suggested that sorcerers should get [Cha mod] spells known per level. :pBTW, Sunder is a great thing to use to rid your PCs of painful items. Use it sparingly, and it will be your friend.So should I give my "strength" warrior NPCs the Improved Sunder, Power Attack and Combat Brute feats?Alternatively, when you put the smack down on the party, leave them alive, but strip them of all their items.Sounds good to me. I'm just waiting for him to slip up, and then I'll pounce.
Sucineri 09-22-04, 04:51 PM	My players if they roll a one on a serch or a spot cheack drop to the floor telling my the are looking for their eyes as they have fallen out of their heads again. Well, I have a thing that I adopted from my previous group where if anyone rolls a 1 on a knowledge check trying to figure out what a creature is I say "You definately know that is the Tarrasque". And they tend to run with that idea every time. :)
Earthmaster 09-22-04, 08:58 PM	Oh, man . . . I fell out of my chair laughing at some of these. I have a story to tell. It involves me as the bad dude for once (I was the DM). Another dude was helping me DM, as I hadn't done it for a while. DM: Ok, you see a long, dark corridor ahead of you. You can't see anything in front of you. What do you do? Helper: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute!! What race is the cleric? DM: Uh . . an elf. Helper: Yeah. So what do elves have? DM: Uh . . . oh, :censored: low-light vision!!! So funny . . . Another time I told my players that they couldn't see behind them when they were up against a wall!!!
flowerew 09-23-04, 01:21 AM	ROFL! this place is great for quik laughs. sigs and some of these posts are hilarious. funnies thing i've ever seen, (i was DMing) DM - you see a large room scattered with piles of rubbish. Player - ok, i search them. DM - um. how long do you want to do this? Player - until i'm done. DM - ok. *lets player get a rare breed of turd sickness from bugbears, sends in a veritable army of goblins, and one campaign later the PC is afraid to let his player use the little boy's room. :D *
Sucineri 09-23-04, 01:23 AM	That had nothing to do with PCs not reading the rules though. There were no rule references or anything in that post. You should post it in the OTHER 1001 thread..one of them that deals with "your funniest moments" or something.
eRaz0r 09-23-04, 05:44 PM	Well, do you keep track of time actively enough that the sorcerers' spontaneous spellcasting is useful? (Since reportedly that's what justifies their low spells-known list.) Absolutely. It's one of the things you must do - challenge the PCs when they're occaisionally at their least prepared. If you just wave your hands and say "It's the next day, and you've got all your spells back" then you're definitely favouring the Wizard - particularly if you don't strictly enforce his limits on spells known (he needs a spellbook, and each one only has 100 pages in it, and each spell level takes up a page. So the more spells he knows (especially higher level ones) the more books he'll need - until he finds a Blessed Book which is worth 12,500 gp to buy). If you're not enforcing the restrictions on the class, then the player is getting a free ride, and, it sounds, at the expense of your other PCs. If the Wizard says something like "Oh, there are Water elementals down there.. lets rest so I can re-prepare all my spells with Fire spells" and you let him get away with it every time, you're not trying hard enough. Now he's suggested that sorcerers should get [Cha mod] spells known per level. :p That's one of the suggested ways to "power up" the sorcerer, because a lot of people think they're underpowered in the long run compared with Wizards. That's a different thread, but I think that being able to cast any spell you know on a moments notice with meta-magic occaissionally thrown in is worth the limited spell list. But hey - you're going for low magic, right ? Make him play the ranger.
eudas 09-23-04, 06:09 PM	I hate intolerance. Ah, sweet, sweet irony... *sips*... eudas
SOKAR 09-23-04, 09:59 PM	Hi all! Thought thus could use a :bump: And, here's another one: Player (Cleric, same one as before): The Power of saint colouah (deliberitly WAYYYYYY mispelled) Commands that you die! <casts in inflict light wounds> NPC (Druid): BURN IN FLAMES, DOG!! <casts produce flame> Player (Pally) WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!!!! How come I don't have any spells??????? This actually happened.
Arcen 09-23-04, 11:31 PM	Player: I'm taking knowledge: your dungeons. Let me see those maps. ROFLMAO!!
Lu Baihu 09-24-04, 12:14 AM	If you just wave your hands and say "It's the next day, and you've got all your spells back" then you're definitely favouring the Wizard - particularly if you don't strictly enforce his limits on spells known (he needs a spellbook, and each one only has 100 pages in it, and each spell level takes up a page.He was going behind my back on the subject, but I'm enforcing the spells known subject. As for the ambush, it sounds like a good idea.But hey - you're going for low magic, right ? Make him play the ranger.How so?
Sucineri 09-24-04, 03:43 AM	PC:Okay, so I have this character here named Greedo, he is a wookie rebel pilot with a lightsabre and his father just happens to be Yoda's brother. DM: :uh-huh: PC: What are you looking at me like that for? DM: We are playing a Forgotten Realms campaign..
Ricky 09-24-04, 09:16 AM	:heehee :rofl: :eek:
eRaz0r 09-24-04, 01:04 PM	He was going behind my back on the subject, but I'm enforcing the spells known subject. Sounds like you've got a great little cheater on your hands there :eek: And when I say "make him play the ranger" just use some horrible Deus Ex Machina to force his Wizard to die or retire from the game - inflicting someone with Lycanthropy can work, or making them undead. The standard take on these is that you become an NPC under the control of the DM after such things occur. Or he gets an urgent summons from his mum, to clean his room. That works too, right ? When the wizard is gone, don't let him play another spellcaster.
Lu Baihu 09-24-04, 01:10 PM	Sounds like you've got a great little cheater on your hands there :eek: And when I say "make him play the ranger" just use some horrible Deus Ex Machina to force his Wizard to die or retire from the game - inflicting someone with Lycanthropy can work, or making them undead. The standard take on these is that you become an NPC under the control of the DM after such things occur. Or he gets an urgent summons from his mum, to clean his room. That works too, right ? When the wizard is gone, don't let him play another spellcaster.Makes sense ... he has managed to make himself the target of the direct ire (more like the obsession with whupping him good) of a living avatar of the LN war god Bishamonten ...
LordofIllusions 09-24-04, 01:12 PM	DM: You see two "magically created" shadows creatures coming at you, and they do not appear to want to talk. What do you do ? Player #1(That did not read his PHB): I cast Detect Magic to see if they are magical. Other Players: :mymy: DM: Umm, you might not want to do that. Player #2(That did read her PHB): Why would you cast detect magic when you already know they are magical ? Player #1(Looks at PHB that has not been opened since he bought it and still does not open it to look up the spell.): Yeah your right. DM: What do you do ? Player #1: I cast Detect Magic! DM: :devil: Other Players: :rant: Just to let everyone know; this player's(#1) character died a session later doing something else that could have been avoided had he read the Player's Handbook. ~~~
Ratheus 09-30-04, 08:34 PM	Actual example, just happened. Wizard: I'm rolling my flaming sphere over all six of those gnolls. They all reflex or take 2d6. Rogue: I don't think that's right. Wizard: There's nothing wrong with rolling a flaming sphere over a half dozen violent gnolls. They face five feet each, and we're in a five foot hallway. They've got nowhere to go, and all I need to do is roll it 30 feet. DM: Okay, the first makes its saving throw, but - Barbarian: My turn is next. I'm charging full steam at the gnolls. DM: [Flips open PHB to spell discription of flaming sphere, points it out to wizard] It stops as soon as it enters a square occupied by a creature. Barbarian: That means I just smashed into it, huh? DM: Yeah, you take 2d6. Rogue: Barbarian-B-Q, anybody?
The_EvilDungeon_Master 09-30-04, 08:45 PM	Pc: "Whats a cleric?" I actually went through the exact same thing..good thing I was playing Baldur's Gate on PC alone instead of at a gaming table or I would have looked like an idiot! :P The exact same thing happened to me... :( "Turn undead... why am I not turning in to undead?"
Greldinard 10-01-04, 03:31 AM	In the dutch translation of the Baldur Gate manual, turn undead was discribed as the ability of a cleric to turn into a ghost. Seems like a wide spread misunderstanding.
Sucineri 10-01-04, 03:32 AM	exactly. :)
Lia Nightdemon 10-01-04, 02:33 PM	that is why you tell the PC's to read the phb and tell them to learn the spells they take. And the DMG is also good to read. But this game isn't easy for beginners the rules can be complicated. I'm sure when you stared D&D you did stupid things too. thats why it's best to learn the rules of the character you want to play (ie if your a caster learn your spells and how to use your abilities and skills and feats, and fighters need to know the combat skills) Learn the rules early so you will know how everything works and that won't slow the game. and if you forget something have the book with you to look it up quickly. also check with your DM about his/her house rules and make sure you know them too.
Black Kitten 10-01-04, 05:01 PM	Well, I had a player of which I thought for a long time that she didn't understand anything of the game. She had never played it before. She first was a drow charisma rogue (focus on cha skills). Often we had something like this: Player: "I tell the guard that we are friends of the King and that he has ordered us to the castle" Dm (me): He laughs at you Player: "I tell it to him again" Dm: I hope you have someone to pull the pike from your stomach. Player: Loth's a b@tch <-- very bad move (get's Ceres' DM Wrath list) Then she took to a wizard, who quickly died due something stupid. Then, I made a mistake... I gave her an Elven Archer I made myself... Then I discovered she actually knew something of the game... going 'poof' (as she called it) at the right moment. (she bought an oathbow). I was really mad when she killed the lvl 18 Drow Ranger in 1 turn (I saved him till everyone hit him). Next time I'd put her up against a Dwarven Barbarian...grrr...
Dunbar 10-01-04, 06:03 PM	Actual example, just happened. Wizard: I'm rolling my flaming sphere over all six of those gnolls. They all reflex or take 2d6. Rogue: I don't think that's right. Wizard: There's nothing wrong with rolling a flaming sphere over a half dozen violent gnolls. They face five feet each, and we're in a five foot hallway. They've got nowhere to go, and all I need to do is roll it 30 feet. DM: Okay, the first makes its saving throw, but - Barbarian: My turn is next. I'm charging full steam at the gnolls. DM: [Flips open PHB to spell discription of flaming sphere, points it out to wizard] It stops as soon as it enters a square occupied by a creature. Barbarian: That means I just smashed into it, huh? DM: Yeah, you take 2d6. Rogue: Barbarian-B-Q, anybody? Um, unless the barbarian had bull-rushed the first gnoll, he shouldn't have run into it. The flaming sphere should stop in the square with the first gnoll in it. So when the barbarian charges and attacks that gnoll, he doesn't step into the square with the sphere.
king_of_evil007 10-01-04, 06:22 PM	Player 1: So, this is an Xbox game, right? DM: Errr, we're playing Dungeons & Dragons in Forgotten Realms. . . Player 1: Ok, so that new PS2 game then! DM: . . .
Sucineri 10-01-04, 07:21 PM	Um, unless the barbarian had bull-rushed the first gnoll, he shouldn't have run into it. The flaming sphere should stop in the square with the first gnoll in it. So when the barbarian charges and attacks that gnoll, he doesn't step into the square with the sphere. AND ]Wizard: There's nothing wrong with rolling a flaming sphere over a half dozen violent gnolls. They face five feet each, and we're in a five foot hallway. They've got nowhere to go, and all I need to do is roll it 30 feet. So basically..the group was in a hallway that was 5 feet..and I guess the gnolls were in a line which lends me to believe the hallway is 5 feet WIDE. And since flaming sphere's area is 5 feet..it hit the first gnoll in the group and took up the path of the hallway. So the barbarian could NOT have bull rushed the gnolls without stepping through the path of the sphere.
SOKAR 08-15-05, 05:23 PM	I am so in the mood to revive this... It was after a session. We are all just kind of lounging in front of the T.V. My brother was reading the monster manual. Him (Warmage w/low will save): Hey, we fought one of these. Me: (GM): yeah. Him: Hey, wait a minute! The DC for it's spells are cha-based! Me: So? Him: Doesn't that mean we use our charisma modifier instead of our wis? Me: :uh-huh:
DmMagnus 08-15-05, 05:56 PM	So me and the players (I'm DMing) are talking about what characters everyone is going to play as in our upcoming campaign. (I've played with this guy for multiple years) Player: "Alright, I'm going to play as a sorcerer, they are cool." Me: "Okay, cool. I think you'll enjoy their spontenaeity (sp?) and flavor." Player: "Ya, um...what do sorcerer's do again?" True story. eh... you have played with a guy for multiple years and he dosn`t know what sorcerers do? Not one of those "I play the excactly (sp?) same character every campaign I am in" type of guys? :yuck:
DmMagnus 08-15-05, 06:00 PM	Player 1: So, this is an Xbox game, right? DM: Errr, we're playing Dungeons & Dragons in Forgotten Realms. . . Player 1: Ok, so that new PS2 game then! DM: . . . "Player 1" is new to the game, am I right?
A Bigmouth Bard 08-15-05, 06:41 PM	I think i might have figured out a solution to all these problems. Before putting your new PCs into the game, make up a tutorial dungeon that runs through skill checks (basic ones like listen and spot), saves, exploring rooms (optional), fighting monsters, and traps (less optional, but still optional). This way they have a better grasp of the game so you don't run into these problems as much(though these questions are a laugh ;) ). :cool:
ramzafft1 08-15-05, 06:50 PM	Wow, I actually did that. I'm good... :dancin: Anyway: Player: I cast a maximized meteor swarm eight times! Dm: How...? Player: Combat Reflexes! It gives me Attacks of Oppertunity equal to my Dex Modifier! And then I Maximize 'em! Dm: Riiiiiiiiiight... :twitch: Dm: Make an attack roll. Player: Uh... sure *rolls d12* Dm: No, the d20. Player: The wha'...? :banghead:
Messer 08-15-05, 09:21 PM	For the best of my knowledge, this is how it happened. DM: Okay, your turn. Monk: "Fists-of-Fury!" DM: You mean Fury of Blows? Monk: What ever, (rolls dice, hit, and hit) Okay, I hit him twice, and do my damage, So, what does he look like, Does he look like he is going to fall down next round, or, should I stunn him. DM: Hes a Zombie, he died a long time ago, perhapse 2 months, and, he looks pritty bad Monk: Well, Does he look hurt? DM: (standa up, and does his best zombie face) He's a Zombie, he kinda looks like this "uahhhhhh" *cleric, Sorceror, Wizard and bard laugh* Monk: Seriously, Do I think that next round I can take him out with one punch. ..... (hehehe) and, I once heard this. DM: So, yer saying you wanna be a Bard. Player: No, I dont wanna be a bard. I want to be like a Thief, and a Sorceror, you know, Casting spells, but still able to fight, and pick locks and stuff. DM: Yeah, you wanna be a Bard Player: Well, no, You dont understand, I wanna have thief, so I can back-stab, Sorceror because they get a lot of spells, and I was thinking that I could add Fighter at a later level. DM: WHAT!? ..... (hehehe, and a sign that your DM isnt using the books) Player: I punch the Skeleton and do subdual damage to him. DM: I'll allow that Me: What?!?! you cant do that, they are immune to subdual damage! DM: Well, you could nock a bone out! Player: Its worth a try. Me: Whatever man. ..... and finaly, this is probably not a sign of illiteracy, as much as lunacy. DM: As you look over the hill you see a giant summoning circle (goes in-depth on descriptions, numbers etc.) What do you do? Cleric: I'm going to turn undead ....(starts talking about plan.) Sorceror: I'll stand behind, and use my area spells ....(continues Plan) Bard: Once Trouble starts, I will sing, and .....(contineus Plan Monk: I will stay next to the cleric and provide support for ....(continues plan) 20 Mins later, plan in place, Spells On, Ready to Jump into this situation, everyone know thier roll. DM: Declairations! Cleric: As I walk over the hill, Holy Symbol in hand, I'm Using Turn Undead and remaining Defensive. Sorceror: I'm Following, and Readying a spell. Bard: I'm Following and remaining Defensive Monk: How far away is the Lich? DM: Probably 120 feet from where you are. Monk: Okay, I make a straight Dash for her! The Whole Party looked Supprized, and I hung my head in shame. Disbeliefe was the recipe for the day.
TheChilliGod 08-16-05, 01:31 AM	Hm, there's a lot of one's here relating to the lack of knowledge of spells. I think I know why. The player may have read the PHB and looked at the spells... but only at that list of spells available to them for immediate use. Whatever's on that summary determines whether they take the spell or not, so when they cast the spell, they may be confused about the real meaning of the spell, which is the cause of, "Light can blind things!" and other incorrect statements. That being said... "I want to dual-wield my Greatsword and my Greataxe!" -Note-no feats relating to this (if they even exist) have been taken. "I'm going to craft some Gloves of Dexterity." "Okay, but you'll have to pay 4000gp and 160xp, and you need Cat's Gra-- Hey! You don't even have Craft Wondrous Items!" "Oh... Nevermind, then." -Player has full access to the DMG and SRD
Cleric of Bast 08-17-05, 09:08 AM	DM: Ok, The Psion Releases a lightning ball at you, Roll Reflex save. Barbarian: Ok I use Improved Uncanny Dodge. Dm: Ok The Telepath hit you with a Mind thrust, Roll Will Save. Monk: I use My Evasion.
babysamurai 08-17-05, 09:29 AM	Having a player show up at the table and say "I wanna play the Allies".
Father Feoras 08-17-05, 09:50 AM	Oh, firstly... -They ask for knowledge checks for everything, just to bug me. (I haven't seen a good use for that skill yet, except synergy) I use them as a means to distribute additional (and usually valuable) campaign information to the PCs. If you take a Knowledge skill in my campaign, you will usually get an information sheet with a variety of tidbits of information.
Venom of the Yuan Ti 08-17-05, 09:55 AM	DM: Make a reflex save Wizard: 3 DM: DC was 15 so you take 20 points of damadge. Wizard: Nu uh! DM: Pardon? Wizard: I failed by 12, so I only take 8. DM: :uh-huh: That is right folks, he though the MORE you fail by the LESS damadge you take...
ramzafft1 08-17-05, 09:19 PM	GOOD LORD! :OMG! :OMG! :OMG! Player: "Um... what should I do?" DM (me): "Well, you're in combat, and you're fighting a few zombies. Since you're a fighter, I suggest that you, shockingly, attack it." Player: "OKAY! Wait... with what?" DM (me): "Well, they take half damage from piercing and slashing weapons, so you're Bastardsword will only deal half damage." Player: "Oh, okay. I'll still use it though." *rolls* DM: You hit! Roll for damage. Player: 'Kay. *rolls d10* Darn, I got a zero. DM: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch:
Ekranoplan 08-17-05, 10:50 PM	How do you calculate AC? And this player still has yet to master the rules in most ways. But, he is actually a very good player, so its all good.
Kolo 08-17-05, 11:05 PM	Player; "So I add up my total bonus... that's the swords' alignment modifier, my bass attack bonus, my strength qualifier, and my weapon skill feat. Did I miss anything?" DM;"Everything and yet nothing. :eek: "
Darkmatter20 08-17-05, 11:39 PM	PC1(Barbarian): How could I not notice the trap, I have sense trap. DM: Sense trap does not allow you to sense traps its just gives you..... Little later PC1(Barbarian): How could I not notice the trap, I have sense trap. DM: .......Sense trap does not allow you to sense traps its just gives you..... Later again PC1(Barbarian): How could I not notice the trap, I have sense trap. DM: .........Sense trap does NOT allow you to sense traps its just gives you.....