Post/Author/DateTime	Post
zombieoverlord 03-10-07, 03:27 AM	1) A theocracy ruled by a mighty red dragon whom the natives, mostly kobolds, revere as a god-king. The rank and file are mostly kobolds and other reptilian humanoids. Typical mounts include dire weasles and giant lizards, but high ranking officers sometimes ride dragons.
boozerker 03-10-07, 03:50 AM	101 ideas for an evil army. Are you saying you want a list of a hundred one ideas that an evil army would carry around? Probably it's leader would be carrying the list anyway. ;) 2. An evil race of giants and sky-drow periodically descend from clouds on sky ships to terrorize and raid villages when supplies run low back home, or just for the heck of it. The drow have some flying mounts aboard, and intelligent flying creatures too. The army grabs livestock, foodstuffs, valuables, and commoners as slaves. The perpetrators are difficult to catch or expect because the clouds move across the world. The army could descend anywhere next.
robertliguori 03-10-07, 07:32 AM	3: An orcish horde, being led or directed by a disguised fey'ri or similar. The fey'ri hates orcs almost as much as they hate other elves, and have been leading their horde on a bunch of suicide missions attempting to kill off as many orcs and as many elves as possible. Interesting hook is that the orcs, under the fey'ri's direction, don't attack using optimal tactics; they attack in ways that guarentee most fatalities for both sides. 4: The Cleansers: This is a group of blighters that have decided to create an extinction-level-event. They make extreme use of spawning monsters like weres and wights; their favored tactic is to infiltrate an opposing army with a few fast-spawning undead, then let them go wild.
Karish 03-10-07, 08:08 AM	An army of awakened fiendish dire squirrels, all given custom made Demonic Full-Plate and made custom claw weapons, all of which keen and vorpal. Led by Yvlesh'kn'nuukrataaaalk, the High Squirrel of the Abyss.
Escef 03-10-07, 10:11 AM	An army of intelligent Rust Monsters with sorcerer levels. Armies of undead or constructs that travel underwater to mask their movements.
Jarllaxle 03-10-07, 11:33 AM	8:An army led by war mad lich,and were weasles powerd by haste spells and psionics,inlarged shocker lizards, and last not least mind flayers whith wide brim hats that change color on ther riding lizard mounts, oooooh prety colors .:D 9: an army of one Drizzt Do'urden.:bow: hee hee ha ha
ff6shadow 03-10-07, 11:36 AM	A highly organized and well equipped army of hobgoblins using advanced and tactics supplemented by the magic of wizards cabal leading them.
revnk 03-10-07, 12:38 PM	11. Oversized, 3' tall, animated, singing teddy bears. Hundreds--no, thousands of 'em. Surging up out of a black hole in the ground and rolling over the landscape in wave after wave of plush, giggling death. Grabbing any living creatures in their paths and squeezing them in a tight hug until they stop squirming or even breathing. At night they stop and stand in place, gently swaying from bulgy foot to bulgy foot in time to the high-pitched "Cuddle Song" they sing from dusk to dawn, keeping all but the most hardened defenders from catching any sleep between spasms of battle. They all but ignore piercing and bludgeoning weapons--the most effective tactic is to slash them open and rip the stuffing out, but that usually means getting close enough for a big, big hug. Fire is effective but dangerous--a lit teddy stumbles forward as it burns, setting fire to anything in its path until it drops to the ground, and even then it continues for hours to emit toxic smoke that coils around the fallen like a living thing. Are they living things? There is no trace of consciousness in their bright button eyes, but they often react with a surprising semblance of intelligence, and it's said the most recent teddies to emerge from the black hole in the ground were seen planning. (Twenty good men were hugged that day, including a brave general who was hugged so tightly that it was decided to send the remains home in a sealed casket to spare his widow the sight of the crushed remnants of a great man. Some black magic is at work: they tried to resurrect him, but when the Cuddle Song began to hiss from the general's still-bruised and mangled lips the cleric himself took up his mace to smite the evil he had brought back.) Will no one save us? Is all hope gone, forever?
kelvinaw273 03-10-07, 05:06 PM	12. A skilled and charismatic Hobgoblin organises a mighty army of goblinoids to sweep over the human lands and establish an empire.
Illithid_Tentacles 03-10-07, 05:12 PM	11. Oversized, 3' tall, animated, singing teddy bears. That's gold.
Bloodstained_Bard 03-10-07, 06:31 PM	13. A dictator begins training an army made up exclusively of warmages trained in advanced magical tactics. 14. An army of dopplegangers. Is that man standing next to you on the battlefield a friend or a foe? 15. A small army in which is comprised of numerous elite squadrons, each one containing a fighter, a wizard, a rogue, and a cleric. Makes heavy use of hit and run and guerrila tactics.
Dissont 03-10-07, 06:49 PM	Have the LE Blackguard BBEG rais an army of undead and orcs to start a war, he then changes his apperance and asks the players for help. He convinces the players to travel the world fighting his army and to rais one of there own. All swearing to fight for (insert name of the BBEG but in his good guy outfit here). Then Turn that raised army BACK at the players because of slandering remarks that make the players look like THERE the ones that started the Undead/Orc army in the first place under orders of the local Lord or Lady. Thus useing the new found STRONGER army to take over the area.
Nor'Morgwae 03-10-07, 10:18 PM	Have the LE Blackguard BBEG rais ...Thus useing the new found STRONGER army to take over the area. Oh, and you could have the new, stronger army made up of clones! And the whole thing could take place in a galaxy far far away!:rolleyes: That's right up there with the army of half-half dragons that turn to stone, explode or the like when you kill them. 17) An army made up completely of undead women and children preserved with a permantent gentle repose. Be warned, this can upset young or impressionable players (though nothing compared to the bears... Serisously Revnk, you are either disturbed or brilliant. Possibly both.) 18) An entire army of wraiths or other incorporeal undead. For each enemy that falls their ranks swell and they cannot be wounded by most of the normal weapons that an army would bring to bare against them. The only respite is sunlight.
boozerker 03-11-07, 06:10 PM	14. An army of dopplegangers. Is that man standing next to you on the battlefield a friend or a foe? That'd be quite a doozy to run or set up, you'd probably have to call for spot checks to make sure that PCs can keep track of comrades, or else its miniature piece is lifted off the battle-mat and they have to guess which is the real character :)
Slightly_Unscrewed 03-11-07, 10:11 PM	11. Oversized, 3' tall, animated, singing teddy bears. Hundreds--no, thousands of 'em. :uh-huh:
johnkretzer 03-11-07, 10:41 PM	11. Oversized, 3' tall, animated, singing teddy bears. Hundreds--no, thousands of 'em. Surging up out of a black hole in the ground and rolling over the landscape in wave after wave of plush, giggling death. Grabbing any living creatures in their paths and squeezing them in a tight hug until they stop squirming or even breathing. At night they stop and stand in place, gently swaying from bulgy foot to bulgy foot in time to the high-pitched "Cuddle Song" they sing from dusk to dawn, keeping all but the most hardened defenders from catching any sleep between spasms of battle. They all but ignore piercing and bludgeoning weapons--the most effective tactic is to slash them open and rip the stuffing out, but that usually means getting close enough for a big, big hug. Fire is effective but dangerous--a lit teddy stumbles forward as it burns, setting fire to anything in its path until it drops to the ground, and even then it continues for hours to emit toxic smoke that coils around the fallen like a living thing. Are they living things? There is no trace of consciousness in their bright button eyes, but they often react with a surprising semblance of intelligence, and it's said the most recent teddies to emerge from the black hole in the ground were seen planning. (Twenty good men were hugged that day, including a brave general who was hugged so tightly that it was decided to send the remains home in a sealed casket to spare his widow the sight of the crushed remnants of a great man. Some black magic is at work: they tried to resurrect him, but when the Cuddle Song began to hiss from the general's still-bruised and mangled lips the cleric himself took up his mace to smite the evil he had brought back.) Will no one save us? Is all hope gone, forever? By all that is holy how did you know my nightmares? Or is it just a deep racial memory that we all share...which means they might return...:twitch:
PwnageLlama 03-11-07, 11:50 PM	Billions of ants.
GunsNRoses 03-12-07, 03:47 PM	9: an army of one Drizzt Do'urden.:bow: hee hee ha ha or what aabout an army of all the Drizzt clones ever made?
Radijs 03-12-07, 04:00 PM	They'd all be far too busy moping and never get anything done. Stupid gothics. No you need an army of Clanks lead by the Heterodyne boys enslaved by the other!
Escef 03-12-07, 05:05 PM	or what aabout an army of all the Drizzt clones ever made? Like these? (http://goblinscomic.com/d/20050711.html)
The_Basilisk 03-12-07, 05:29 PM	Damn you Revnk, I'm at work trying to look busy and I just spent the last 10 minutes trying not to burst out laughing. 19) The villain finds a magic can of ninjas. It can make an unlimited number of ninjas. He doesn't know, however, that thier power is divided among the ninjas, so the more you make, the weaker they all are. He makes thousands and thousands of ninjas, then realizes they are all crappy weaklings. He sends his army of crappy ninjas at various towns on suicide missions of chaos and mayhem. The PCs don't stand for this so they retaliate. Now as the PCs kills off ninjas by the dozens, they keep getting stronger as there is steadily less of them. The encounters scale up as they gain levels, until the climax, where they face the villain behind it all, and one nasty uber-fast and stong ninja of death.
GunsNRoses 03-12-07, 08:25 PM	Like these? (http://goblinscomic.com/d/20050711.html) indeed
TRCEttin 03-12-07, 08:28 PM	Millions of peaches.
lrellok 03-12-07, 10:13 PM	Army of automitons, controled by half feind trolls w/ wizard or cleric levels.
Pegasos989 03-13-07, 04:28 AM	Hundreds of thousands of lemmings walking towards the sea, stomping to ground everything in between. Some spontaneously get parachutes, pickaxes or the like...
Escef 03-13-07, 07:17 AM	Three words: Giant Space Hamster.
Andorxor 03-13-07, 07:57 AM	The kenders have decided to borrow the human towns
Bort333 03-13-07, 10:52 AM	20) A kingdom of Fire Giants. The rank and file are regular Fire Giants, led by Fire Giants with class levels. They use Ogres, and Hill Giants, as slave troops, the way Drow would use goblins and kobolds. Within the army they have the uasual group of wizards and clerics like a typical nation. Level 20 Wizard Fire Giant would be the Guild Archmage, the Level 20 Cleric Fire Giant would be the High Priest. The leaders (generals and such) high classed fighters would ride on Huge or bigger Red Dragons.
Sajek 03-13-07, 12:38 PM	21. An army of hobgoblins, supplemented with undead and lead by a high level hobgoblin cleric and a lich, that summons titanium elementals and....oh wait.
darkhellion21 03-20-07, 02:14 PM	22. Epic level Archmage lich and his horde of half-fiend blackguards, tiefling warlocks, ogre magi, & assorted undead servants, all of which reside in an Unhallowed flying fortress. *21- I wish I could have gotten in that Order of the Stick reference. :w00t:
nightwyrm 03-20-07, 02:29 PM	23. An army of flumphs out to prove that they're not a bunch of ridiculous, floating pancakes.
Ikyotojin 03-20-07, 02:59 PM	24 - Army of 1,001 drunken halflings - each one cursed to stumble the land with his never ending tankard of beer of healing (it's a good clubing weapon). I did this to a party. They got stupid and started killing the halflings... resulting in some serioulsy confused characters ("How many times do I have to hit this runt in the head??") and some slighly irritated undead halfligs who pop up every so often to try to punish them for their evil acts. All in all, a long term set of foes.
freeholder 03-20-07, 03:51 PM	25. A once small covenant of dust bunnies that have been reproducing under the beds of any who do not properly dust under their bed every week that were suddenly angered by a maids guild that has recently moved into their city. At first they attempted an all out riot but soon realized that the maids guild and the city did not even notice their attacks. Defeated, the dust bunnies packed up their meagre belongings and drifted off into the dusty wastes of wilderness that sprawled for miles out of the city walls. They dust bunnies thrived in this environment but knew outright attack on the city was impossible until they trained soldiers taller then 2 inches. However the dust bunnies soon met with fortune when their leader met a wizard who shared with them a common enemy. The wizard had recently been excommunicated from his home city by a powerful cleric. The wizard had learned that the wizard had an obsessive-compulsive disorder. The wizard trained the dust bunnies in guerrilla warfare and magic, and sent them back to the city. During the days the followed the dust-bunnies, now numbering in the 10 thousands took their places under the beds of the citizens of the city. They then waited until the cover of night then set off to the cleric’s house. In the morning the city corners pronounced the cleric killed by 2301 magic missal spells. Over the following nights as hundreds of citizens were killed nobody has turned their eyes towards the dust bunnies that now are in place to rule the city.
Wayett 03-20-07, 04:03 PM	26. An army of ultimate evil. An army of cutlery. How would you defeat and army of table spoons, butter knives, pots, pans, and other horrors of the kitchen? A knight on horse gets pinned and toppled by forks that line up in a palisade of defense, then beaten to death by emotionless spatulas. The army is led by no utensil, because they all know their evil mission, what they have to do, and when. How would you kill a fork with a sword? How would you pierce a steak knife with arrows? Only few have defeated parts of this army, but every town they take over, more come alive to swell the ranks. Have all these tools of the table been made by humans or some stanger race that placed the cutlery in the hands of humans and other races since before known time?
Escef 03-20-07, 05:26 PM	<snip> You need an editor, badly. The sad part is that mess might have made it through a spell checker.
Angus Cotton 03-20-07, 05:45 PM	A three year old boy goes rummaging throw the basement of his recently dead grandfather and finds a wand. The three year boy uses it and finds that he has Animated a chair in the attic. The boy giddy from the magic, starts animating every inanimate object he can find until he has an army of chairs, tables, china hutchs, wagons, etc. The three year old boy is giddly with power (the wands seems to be influencing him).
Escef 03-20-07, 06:09 PM	An army of warforged who transport themselves inside of warforged wizards who've polymorphed into large (or larger) animated objects (wagons). "Warforged, Polymorph, and attack!"
PwnageLlama 03-20-07, 08:18 PM	The coming of the Great White Hankercheif. (Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy reference)
Karish 03-20-07, 08:31 PM	The coming of the Great White Hankercheif. (Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy reference) Or a Vogon poet?
darkdragonk 03-20-07, 08:48 PM	OMG i cant believe no one did this An army of optimized kiobolds lead by Pun-Pun (The Kobold one, not the the more optimized ardent)
Cyanide300 03-20-07, 09:08 PM	An army of Mind flayer Reaping Maulers, whose only goals are to chew bubble gum and eat brains. And they're all outta bubble gum.:D
Hydryh 03-22-07, 12:09 PM	An army of intelligent Rust Monsters with Monk levels. FIXED. :devil: P.S.- Thanks for the compliment and the tip, Escef!
Escef 03-22-07, 12:57 PM	An army of intelligent Rust Monsters with Monk levels. FIXED. :devil: You are sick... I like you. P.S.: you need a slash in the second quote tag. [/quote]
DreadArchon 03-22-07, 01:29 PM	Awakened Grapple Cats with spiked chain shirts.
nightwing 03-22-07, 01:31 PM	A horde of awakened giant ants (the size of large cats), complete with workers, soldiers, and led by an even larger winged queen ant.
Corpsekin 03-26-07, 04:40 PM	33(i think, people stopped numbering them a few posts back) The legions of Lerach-An army of awakened soldier skeletons equipped with mechanis armour, tower shields and longswords led by an evil Lichking(lvl1 pladin, lvl 10 blackgaurd, lvl 10 cleric, lvl 4 lich) with his chain devil cohort. Their goal is to enslave all the mortal races of their plane and use them as breeding stock to create an infinite amout of undead then use this army to end the blood war once and for all.
TheShortestDM 03-26-07, 06:33 PM	Surprised nobody mentioned the Shocker Lizard horde.:uh-huh: "Sir, they're coming in!" *half of the army focuses on one lizard, the other half on another* "Watch ou- blargh!" *army knocked out for 372 years*
valcarde 03-26-07, 07:31 PM	Sometimes the best evil army... is the one that doesn't realize they are evil. 34) The army of Maxamillian Regant. Maxamillian has inherited a white warhammer known as the Ves'kash, which contains the spirit of his ancester, who once ruled a vast empire. This empire was brought down by a renegade army, the Emperor killed. Max, realizing that the empire is his destiny and that the world would be peaceful under his rule, has raised an army towards that goal. People who share his ideals. Wanting to create a utopia and willing to die for that ideal, following The Emperor Maximillian to their death. What they don't know is that this 'Shining hammer' is only 'shining' for one reason: It reflects all light from it in order to preserve the darkness within. The hammer is actually an evil artifact, that yes, still has the soul of Max's ancestor, which is deluding max into rebuilding the quite evil empire the ancestor was a ruler of. History warped the stories: The empire was evil, and the 'renegades' were actually freedom fighters. Is an army that fights for what they believe is a Utopian society, but follow the beck and call of a secretly evil ruler, truly evil?
yellowdingo 03-26-07, 08:27 PM	35) An army of Paladins enforcing a Convert or Die Religion.
Syn_Exelian 03-26-07, 09:14 PM	36) Rakshasa lords with high sorcerer levels drive hundreds of dominated Death Sladdi riding on the shoulders of many Gated Goristros.
Tevish Szat 04-03-07, 05:15 PM	37) Badgers. LOTS of Badgers. 38) Skeletons and zombies! only theyre not ravaging and eating brains, they're on strike! having gained enough intelligence to throw off commands but not to distinguish necromancers from other mortals, they have becoem a threat to all life 39) a new spawn creating undead, not intended to be controlled by a master, but each with individual drive to destroy and make more of themselves.
Orion_II 04-03-07, 08:48 PM	40) An army of fiendish forum trolls 41) Awakened house cats with a bad attitude 42) An army of Succubi :devil:
dpity1 04-05-07, 03:53 AM	43) Awakened Livestock. They integrate into the communities food supply, and then martyr themselves as feed to spread mad cow disease. In forty years the entire population of the kingdom suffers from brain damage. Also, if you cast Reduce Person on a Kobold, does it count as microscopic warfare?
Hydryh 04-05-07, 11:01 AM	42) An army of Succubi :devil: I volunteer for Kitchen Patrol, so to speak... 44) Variant on #9: An army of Dr'zzit (or however the heck you spell it!) clones, each one a half step closer to the original (though the original is off being his own army.)