101 NPC Quips/Battlecries [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTimePost
Andrewinator

09-27-05, 03:31 PM
Let's expand upon the quips and battlecries found in the DMGII. I found those really useful, but have used up the list and can't think of any more easily.
Jancarius

09-27-05, 03:33 PM
Here comes halfling death!
Lonestar

09-27-05, 03:35 PM
My favorite was always a big classic...

TEMPUS!!!!!!!!!
Dark Stryke

09-27-05, 03:47 PM
"I would've been your daddy but your dog beat me to it!"
Say that to the half orc PC. :D
Soulman1990

09-27-05, 03:54 PM
"Oh bravo, you bypassed my security now that your weakend I will beat you with my supream BBEG powers BWHAHAHAAHAHA"
Kozeljnik

09-27-05, 03:55 PM
i think there was a "Battlecries!" thread somewhere...*digs*...yep, here it is: http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=491098&page=1
OctoberRaven

09-27-05, 04:36 PM
"It doesn't matter if I live or die, I'm just another NPC," - depressive fighter-for-higher.
Jancarius

09-27-05, 05:09 PM
"I would've been your daddy but your dog beat me to it!"
Say that to the half orc PC. :D

I prefer "I would have been your daddy, but the dog beat me over the fence!" Same meaning, but just funnier.
Grizelda

09-27-05, 05:40 PM
I had a female sorcereerss in one campaign who somehow managed to pickup a kobold follower.. nasty little fighter rogue job who was more fighter than rogue believe it or not.. the problem being her name was Micah and everytime he charged into battle he would scream FOR MICAH! ( I was thinking of getting him wood panneling armor) :)
otto333

09-27-05, 06:34 PM
"Run them through! :fight!:"
OctoberRaven

09-27-05, 09:03 PM
"I should have dropped out of NPC Academy"-Last words of a remorseful NPC.
imperialjunkie

09-27-05, 09:58 PM
"Your mom ____________________."




.
Journeyman Samwise

09-28-05, 12:55 AM
LEEEEEROOOOOOOOOYYYY JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNS
Deflare

09-28-05, 01:35 AM
Blast- you beat me to it! Anyway...

"My fell blade hungers for your flesh!"

"My dogs shall be well fed tonight!"

"I thought I called the exterminator! Oh well, I'll deal with you pests myself."

*when cornered* "Oh, please; did you really think that I would be foolish enough to be outsmarted by you imbeciles?" *hits button activating traps and opening a secret exit*

*for nature-loving characters* "You body shall become one with nature!"

"You dare challenge me? You might as well cry, 'Rip my soul from its body, so that both may be turned to your dark will,' for that shall be your fate!"

"Agh, you are so scrawny, it's almost not worth it to slay you. Oh, well; I could always use a light snack."
tackleberry

09-28-05, 10:38 AM
"you are too late adventurers!! indeed, your suspicions are right! lord Elrorg is actually an evil dopplegangar servant who is due to meet with the king within 24 hours! then the king will be replaced by the evil dopplegangar and he will trick the court wizard into unlocking the 'vault of ages' thereby releasing the trapped demon and opening the gate of Aarzackdoom causing a new reign of darkness to creep across the realms!!! the only thing that can stop it is the 'key of skulls' which is hidden safely within my secret lair in the peaks of the blackfang mountains! but ENOUGH! now, you will die! bwahahahahaha!"

(not bad for a free action)
ErinLyger

09-28-05, 11:05 AM
If Minsc said it in Baldur's Gate, it's probably good. :)

"Butt kicking for goodness!"
Jancarius

09-28-05, 01:23 PM
Go for the eyes, Boo, go for the eyes!
jokem

09-28-05, 01:35 PM
Suppose I cut off your head and drink your blood?
Dinel

09-28-05, 01:45 PM
"Axe, meet the orc. Orc, MEET ME AXE!"
"Suicide now and save us both the bother."
"(Grim) Reaper, make ready." (Any suitable god of death works here)
"squish, Squish, SQUISH!"

And also from Baldur's Gate (for gnomes and halflings):
"Your knees are mine!"

May you find eternal sequels, Jan.
Germytech

09-28-05, 02:11 PM
"You spoony bard!"
feng the red dragon

09-28-05, 03:51 PM
spoon

is the greatest battlecry
LordHumungus

09-28-05, 04:01 PM
What in the name of Aunt Helen's cabbageless coleslaw is going on here?!?
astute1

09-28-05, 04:09 PM
"Look here boys - this halfling thinks he's half a swordsman. Let's see how he measures up!"
Dark Stryke

09-28-05, 04:15 PM
"Free action! Free action! Free action! Free action! Ha Ha Ha! Are you getting sick of this? Free action! Free action! Free action! Free action! Ha Ha Ha! Are you getting sick of this? Free action! Free action! Free action! Free action! Ha Ha Ha! Are you getting sick of this? Free action! Free action! Free action! Free action! Ha Ha Ha! Are you getting sick of this?"
Jancarius

09-28-05, 04:58 PM
Dark: I would hurt you... so bad...If I had an immediate action.

Taken from Naruto (It's just such a badass speech): Foolish little brother. If you want to kill me, hate me, detest me. Run. Run and cling pathetically to life.
Zeful

09-28-05, 05:07 PM
"It's time to separate you from your extremities, you won't be needing them where your going" :evillaugh
SwitchUK

09-28-05, 05:13 PM
*CRITICAL HIT*

"I'm sorry, did that sting a bit?"
Herald@Large

09-28-05, 05:28 PM
(Archer) "Go ahead and run. You'll just die tired."
tharivol266

09-28-05, 09:17 PM
lets see:

"Notice me!!!!!!!"

"Ill bite your legs off"

and

"Its only a flesh wound" after they take a critical hit
Commander of Chaos

09-28-05, 09:44 PM
I am the Paladin of Light. I shall smite you with the power bestowed upon me by good, unless you aren't evil. Then ill just have to kill you the old fassioned way, with my wizard. You are no match for the light, and a wizard.
20goingon1232

09-28-05, 09:54 PM
"I'm going to tear your head off and crap (<- use less polite term) down your throat!"
- said in a serious, I-really-mean-it voice.
ShadowDragon8685

09-28-05, 10:05 PM
"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH! !!"

Delivered in a truely bat-(Syn. for guano) insane scream.
Always-Late

09-28-05, 10:37 PM
Prepare for stabbity death!
On a charge: ME-DOKEN!
You know, NPC's do, in fact, get exp for killing PC's.
You again? Do you know how much time it took to wash out all that blood?
Valgaav

09-28-05, 11:17 PM
"Your knees are mine!"


Okay, I'm stealing that for my Chain Tripper. it's just too appropriate to leave to short races.
FriendoftheDork

09-29-05, 05:11 AM
My niece? Hey what did you do to my niece?

Anyway I like to stick to the simple but efficient "eat [insert weapon of choise]!
monkofpassion

10-09-05, 10:58 PM
[SIZE=7][COLOR=DarkOrange]Flarghen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :fight!: :fight!: :fight!: :fight!: :fight!:
Dusk Argent

10-10-05, 01:28 AM
"Hellfire and Bloody Damnation!!!!" My 9th lvl Female Human Fighter's favorite exclamation whenever the crap hit the fan. Taken from The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever series of books by Stephen R. Donaldson.
MortalPlague

10-10-05, 05:40 AM
"Can you not feel the glory of the flesh? Do you not yearn to be free of the tyranny of the individual?"

--Xerxes the computer in System Shock 2


"All you have is your hatred... and your individuality. Now don't you wish you'd joined us? Would you then feel so alone?"

--The Many in System Shock 2


That game had some sinister taunts... :D
hollow_ghost

11-06-05, 12:07 PM
:confused: Ummm... :fight!: Magic Missile!!!!!

"Kamehameha!!!!!" :mage:
"You shall die by my hand!":thumbsdow

"In the name of [insert high authority/god name], I smite thee!" :waits:
Muddball

11-06-05, 01:53 PM
Small sized fighter: "Yer kneecaps are at me mercy!"

Wizard/sorcerer: "Are there any more heroes here today? Well, come, i've plenty more death in these hands"
~taken from Ed Greenwood