Post/Author/DateTime	Post
The Foolish Rouge 01-25-05, 11:33 PM	You know what I'm talking about those subtle quirks that are all around your game/world. Like that evil sorcorer that's been hiring them... I'll start it off. 1. In my campaign world children know everything there is to know! There like the uber thief with a +312 on a gather information check. My theory behind it: "Kid's are naturally eavesdroppers and don't know when there not supposed to mention things. Also people wouldn't think twice about a child who overheard them." I think this is going to be fun... especially since I haven't seen EatFlan in a while.
Maniacal_Cackle 01-26-05, 12:14 AM	Heh, perhaps we should avoid specific targetting of people... Anyway, 2. If something is acting normally, the PC's should suspect something. But if they do suspect something, it's the one time it's actually normal.
The Foolish Rouge 01-26-05, 12:17 AM	Ohh it was all in good fun. I think everyone actually had a little chuckle whenever they read his posts (whether they'd admit it or not).
artman 01-26-05, 12:18 AM	3) They should have realised that the bad guys have access to spells that bring them back form the dead just as much as the PCs do. 4) Gods are tough to kill. 5) The guilty NPC always over-reacts.
penchant 01-26-05, 12:27 AM	6) I will not forget about that NPC you wronged out in the middle of no where that was 0 level at the time. He will be an Uber-villian next campaign. 7) The game will NOT get more normal as you play along. It WILL get funkier. 8) I will not stop looking at you that way when you use the words were-anything and gestalt in the same sentence. 9) When someone says "Its evil! Don't touch it!" really, just don't touch it. 10) If your character trys to 'get with' anything abnormal in the game, bad things will happen.
Gereli 01-26-05, 12:29 AM	11. It's spelled 'rogue'. No, really, I wish more players realized this.
Draco Strang 01-26-05, 12:50 AM	12. Why does every building the bad guys inhabit have to be ransacked and then burned to the ground? Sometimes there really isn't anything there guys.
FenixNightShade 01-26-05, 02:00 AM	13. Creatures without pockets encountered in the wild don't have loot... stop searching them PC: I search the dead winter wolf Me: You find his internal organs and lots of blood... :nonono: 14. If an object is attached to something (the wall, the floor, etc) DON'T TAKE IT!!!! Opening the secret door that held the Ooze back is not a reward for pulling something out of a slot, i don't care if it was a greatsword... :banghead:
penchant 01-26-05, 02:01 AM	13) a horse eating Griffon is a monster. Bringing one into town, even if it is a paladin's mount, is a chaotic act that might strip him of his 'hood. Paladin "I house my mount in the stables." DM "OK, It eats three horses, chaos ensues and *poof* its gone along with your Lay on Hands. Bad Fighter!"
Vanigo 01-26-05, 02:07 AM	13) a horse eating Griffon is a monster. Bringing one into town, even if it is a paladin's mount, is a chaotic act that might strip him of his 'hood. Paladin "I house my mount in the stables." DM "OK, It eats three horses, chaos ensues and *poof* its gone along with your Lay on Hands. Bad Fighter!" I'd take issue with that, were I the player involved. A paladin's special mount (and, for that matter, any griffon) is intelligent enough to be told not to do that, and they're usually intelligent enough to not need to be told. As long as they're well fed, anyway. Remember, a paladin's mount is Lawful Good too.
Greldinard 01-26-05, 02:11 AM	15. No matter how powerful you are, there is always someone out there stronger.
TalinXT 01-26-05, 02:30 AM	16. For everything good and awesoem you have in your backstory there is an equal and opposite number of bad things I can do to you. 17. MAgic items and treasure are a privilege not a right. 18. Winning the game is futile. 19. Min/Maxing can be done by dm's too. 20. What you see in the monster manual is not always what you fight. 21. Role Playing is encouraged, drama class adn shakespeare is not. 22. In party conflict almost always ends in dead pcs and ****** off players. 23. A real dm does not feel remorse, or fear or pity, he can't be talked to, or bribed or negotiated with his only mission is to kill you and he wont stop ever!! Do you understand?(terminator quote baltantly stolen)
penchant 01-26-05, 02:35 AM	I'd take issue with that, were I the player involved. A paladin's special mount (and, for that matter, any griffon) is intelligent enough to be told not to do that, and they're usually intelligent enough to not need to be told. As long as they're well fed, anyway. Remember, a paladin's mount is Lawful Good too. The problem is nobody bothered to tell the horses that. ;) Edit: To specify; a griffon, even a special intelligent LG paladin's mount who promises to never eat a horse it is not given by it's rider will cause extreme choas among any and all horses in the area. If a paladin puts its mount in a stable then that is a chaotic act, since all the horses will freak out, break their legs, jump their stalls, etc. with a predator in the house. While I was exagerating about the eating the horses part to be witty in front of the audience, it is still a bad thing. Thank you.
Generic Fighter 01-26-05, 03:11 AM	24: Never, ever, EVER put any body part into the small, dark hole in the wall. Something bad will ALWAYS happen to it :evillaugh 25: Never test a newly aquired wand without first determining which end should be pointing at the target and which end it should be held by :banghead: Generic Fighter:fight!:
The Shaman 01-26-05, 04:03 AM	26. When I say the chest is empty, I mean the chest is empty... 27. ...except when it's not.
WunderGoat 01-26-05, 04:18 AM	28. The 'When You Give a Mouse a Cookie' senario is worse when the mouse is a dragon. 29. Shocker lizards might be cute, but they are not cuddly.
penchant 01-26-05, 04:27 AM	30) No, you cannot have a familiar with a higher ECL that you do. You can agree to become its familiar however... 31) Yes, if you declare your action before I describe the scene you still go. 32) No, you don't get a save if you go against explicit DM advise. 33) Yes, your remorseful CG Vampire with a soul will still be smote and turned by the paladin and clerics knocking on your door. 34) Yes, your faustian deal with a devil will turn out bad, and no you don't get a save for that. 35) You still lose a level if a vampire brushes lint off your shoulder... and you let him. *please remember that ALL these have happened in my game or a game I was playing in and no none of them were my characters.
TheMercYouForgot 01-26-05, 05:50 AM	36) If the Unicorn calls you the south end of a north bound horse? Odds are you are the south end of a north bound horse. 37) The barmaid is never as she appears. 38) No, it's not dead. I had you roll all that sneak attack as a joke on you. You don't know it doesn't work. Err! 39) No, you cannot enslave a wizard to do your artificing. 40) I have access to more source books than you feel like going through. Expect surprises. 41) Odds are the NPCs will be weirder than you, can I help it if you're lazy? (Meant in good fun) and 42 cause it's an awesome number) You do know the bad guy could sneak into your house, get to your bedroom, murder you, take all your stuff, and when the party tracked him down he could be wearing all of it... the mind boggles at the thought of a villian who hunts you down, steals your things, hides on another plane, and keeps this up until he has well beyond PC loot for his level. Everytime you build yourself back up.. BAM! One of you could die. It could happen. Now quit complaining just because it wasn't hard enough for you. ;)
Mystic Theurge 01-26-05, 08:05 AM	Edit: To specify; a griffon, even a special intelligent LG paladin's mount who promises to never eat a horse it is not given by it's rider will cause extreme choas among any and all horses in the area. If a paladin puts its mount in a stable then that is a chaotic act, since all the horses will freak out, break their legs, jump their stalls, etc. with a predator in the house. While I was exagerating about the eating the horses part to be witty in front of the audience, it is still a bad thing. In a world where griffons can be paladin mounts (or any other exotic mount), there should be places where one can stable such a beast without having to worry about losing their status. This is showing some favoritism toward paladins who don't have exotic mounts, BTW. At the vary least, it is some form of angst against any character who would dare conceive of having something a little cooler than your typical horse. If you are going to punish a character for "sowing chaos", at least it should be directly attributed to that character, not a result of something innocent that they have done (such as naively stabling their mount). This is what bothers me about this tactic. Anything a paladin does can eventually be considered "sowing chaos." Healing the fighter who later does something bad is an example of this. "poof!" Instant loss of paladinhood? I don't think so. But that's just personal opinion. I have run into a few DMs like this, who gleefully wait for the player to make some inocuous blunder so they can humiliate the character in front of the group for "not thinking". My advice to players is to not play paladins in this case (and forget about playing anything you think is "cool").
Callista 01-26-05, 08:11 AM	A good DM should probably tell their player such things beforehand... and remember that a paladin's losing his powers is by no means a permanent thing. It's the perfect plot hook--"Before I cast this Atonement on you, I have a few tasks..." Anyhow. 43. The NPC you don't like is the one you'll probably have to ask for something later on. 44. Player suggestions sometimes get incorporated into the game, in unexpected ways. Beware what you suggest. (I once had one of my players jokingly suggest they were going to face a dragon... another suggested that they heard an explosion... guess what happened? Oh, and by the way... the explosion was orcs and gunpowder. The dragon was the orcs' backup. Not a good combination.) 45. If you get a Wish, make it sensible, or it WILL be screwed with. If you get a wish from an efreeti... don't even bother making it!!
sollmn 01-26-05, 08:35 AM	46) Just because you have the feats exotic weapon proficiency, weapon focus, weapon specialization, greater weapon focus, greater weapon specialization, and imporved critical in the spiked chain, that does not mean you will ever find a magic spiked chain.
digoraccoon 01-26-05, 08:58 AM	From one of my players: 47) If you don't know what's going on, you'll die in 7 minutes. If you figured out what's going on, you'll die in 7 seconds.
Chaotica Maxima 01-26-05, 08:59 AM	50 If the DM says "You suuuuuuure you want to do that?", you sat NO! and run!! 51 Never, ever, give the DM evil ideas about what to do with is monster of uberdoom.
WolfSong 01-26-05, 09:16 AM	In a world where griffons can be paladin mounts (or any other exotic mount), there should be places where one can stable such a beast without having to worry about losing their status. This is showing some favoritism toward paladins who don't have exotic mounts, BTW. At the vary least, it is some form of angst against any character who would dare conceive of having something a little cooler than your typical horse. If you are going to punish a character for "sowing chaos", at least it should be directly attributed to that character, not a result of something innocent that they have done (such as naively stabling their mount). Face it every action does have a consequence, the key to a Paladin is his ability to figure out those consequences. In the case that is being discussed, I do agree that in a world were Griffons (and other exotic beasts) can become mounts that there are places where one can stable them. HOWEVER, that may only be the case in the Major Metropolis's or the extremely Magic rich land to the south or what-have-you, but it will not be the case in the average town or village. And if you do find a place to stable these beasts expect the price to be a premium.... after all it is not a simple horse.
niadon 01-26-05, 09:16 AM	15. No matter how powerful you are, there is always someone out there stronger. Not always i've got that problem at the min. My NPC's wop everything they come in to contact with. And that is from monster manuel 1 2 and 3 so frustrating
silvermist 01-26-05, 10:12 AM	52. always keep track of your familiar/companion/pet 53. if you are letting said familiar/companion/pet ride in the sheath for your full blade remember that before you sheathe your full blade 54. if you see someone get turned into a plant for doing something DO NOT just go and do what they did 55. when someone has been turned into a plant for something by all means do not pick the plant. this is not helping them. 56. soap really has almost no uses (and using it to try to improve the mood of the dwarf you just vomited on will not help) 57. there is a difference between regular meade and the fancy 150 proof stuff in the arms and equipment book 58. even if what you did to loose your paladinhood is funny, laughing while you confess to the local cleric is probably not going to get you an atonement spell anytime soon 59. some places really arent dangerous (wizard: i'm going to check out the hull of the (chartered) ship. fighter: me too wizard: you go first figher figher: right (both draw weapons)) 60. never turn down a map (npc: here is a map so you know which building is the important one wizard: i think we can tell an important dangerous location from a plain old ordinary location npc: really? cause you just spent the last half an hour panicking about an ordinary merchant vessel) 61. questioning the gender of npc dwarves is only going to get you into trouble 62. just because you're playing in a world where dragons/willowisps/bugbears/etc dont have to be their given mm alighnment doesnt mean if you meet one it wont be 63. never follow the light in the woods 64. if you come across a strange pool of liquid never never stick your head in (particularly if this is fourth time you have done this and all those times resulted in pain) 65. it is important to remember things like the name of your lover in the last town back, what the artifact you have been given does, and the password for the dungeon that you were litteraly given two minutes ago 66. often when something turns invisible it moves from where it last was 67. sometimes it doesnt 68. if you slay a foe, turn him invisible and have him with you when you meet nobility KEEP TRACK OF HIM npc dragon king: where did this dead wizard come from? 69. if you hear 'strange' noises coming from a persons home sometimes you should not investigate 70. never correct the dm on what his/her npc did to slay the bad guy dm: and the dwarf does such and such player: no, i like this better, the dwarf does blah blah blah dm: :headexplo 71. see what magical items do before you use/wear them 72. no matter how good your knowledge(whatever) roll is it will not get you anything if you are using the wrong knowledge wow, we've been only played about 15 sessions and all of the above happened (some more than once)... i'm kindof impressed with my group in a wierd terrifying way
Crossover-Chronicler 01-26-05, 10:48 AM	To specify; a griffon, even a special intelligent LG paladin's mount who promises to never eat a horse it is not given by it's rider will cause extreme choas among any and all horses in the area. If a paladin puts its mount in a stable then that is a chaotic act, since all the horses will freak out, break their legs, jump their stalls, etc. with a predator in the house. While I was exagerating about the eating the horses part to be witty in front of the audience, it is still a bad thing.Of course, all of this is kinda pointless in 3.5e. 73. Calling your rogue a ninja doesn't give him special ninja powers. 74. Chaotic alignment doesn't excuse evil acts. 75. Neither does stupidity. 76. Attempts to kill one's own character off as a cry for attention or some form of protest about the current game will result in: a dead chaarcter. 77. Even though the DM can change the rules, it doesn't mean he will just because you ask him. 78. Saying "You're the DM and you can totally veto this if you want," doesn't make me more receptive to the backstory you've contrived to justify your character. 79. There are times when you should run away, but there are also times when it's a bad idea.
HomebrewedMonster 01-26-05, 12:09 PM	80.) You can't beat every encounter. If you see a huge red dragon fly over head, don't shoot it with an arrow.
Nived 01-26-05, 12:48 PM	81) Anytime the DM clerifies the situation and then asks you again "Do you still want to do this?" DON'T. Example. DM "So let me get this straight, first you drag your party into an unknown demention through a gate spell surrounded by skulls and demonic looking things, your in a mist covered creepy washed out landscape... and you want to jump down the well you just found?" "Might be a way out." "*sigh* Roll up a new character" "What?" "You just jumped down a well in hell... you fall you fall you fall you starve you die roll up a new character." 82) No, you can't make friends with the fiendish panther made out of lava from the abyss. 83) When a Press Gang (i.e. surley looking bunch of sailors that outnumber you with clubs and saps) asks you if you want to join a crew... the correct responce isn't "Sure." 84) Do not give a unholy tome with a commune spell to the god of undead TO A KENDER.
Kyy'Dakh 01-26-05, 01:14 PM	85) Just because you carry a melee weapon, that doesn't mean you should enter melee. 86) For excessive munchkins: Anything you can do, the DM can do better. Especially if they utilize rule 0. 87) PCs need to eat, too.
Ze_Mighty_Vegetable 01-26-05, 01:17 PM	85): When I ask a player to do a spot check (a single player, not the whole group) in a dungeon, if the other players ask for a spot check and ready their weapons, something bad is gonna happen. I hate metagaming... 86): If a player ever utter the phrase: That wouldn't work in my last game..., he's gonna suffer a lot.
General_Ridley 01-26-05, 01:30 PM	87. no matter where you are, the Tarrasque's lair is nearby. 88. The tarrasque gets ****** off when I get ****** off.
Riznar 01-26-05, 01:32 PM	88) NPCs lie 89) Bluff of +48 != Dominate Person
DeathofaSalesmen 01-26-05, 01:53 PM	90. Nobles are not meant to be killed in broad daylight, regardless of what they say about your family. 91. Sometimes there is no freakin trap!(Damn rogue would not leave me alone about this one hall, kept asking me to roll this and that looking for a trap) 92. The Underdark is not a place you venture into lightly. 93. Yes they're Drow, no they're not nice, no I didn't tone them down. They will fight like an intellegent, agile, and adept race should.
Winter's requiem 01-26-05, 01:55 PM	89) EXP and treasure isn't everything 90)DMS CANT CHEAT!!!!!!! 91)You can only have ONE ioun stone at a time. 92)Just because you are a PC doesn't mean you can make everyone do what you want them to do they have a life to you know 93)When the DM takes up the MM and smiles, RUN!!! 94)If you play games on your computer while playing you accually get minus EXP. 95)If DMSS (dungeon master says so) dont ever complain. 96) If you compalin and complain and complain and the DM says "You see dust falling from the roof on to your head, seems like destany is getting annoyed :ahem: a bog rock will mos likely hit your head so STOP COMPLAINING!!!
Alcari Ambaron 01-26-05, 02:25 PM	97) Ask the Dm for something, you might find it later on. Keep asking the Dm for somthing and you might find it stuck in your helmet, while its on your head 98) Never EVER wish for anything other than stat increases. 99) The NPC rogue WILL steal your equipment when you sleep. 100) I might be your boyfriend in real life, but ingame I will not hesitate to smite you. Who wants the 101st?
sollmn 01-26-05, 02:43 PM	101) Real life is more important than the game.
Alcari Ambaron 01-26-05, 02:53 PM	glad to see i'm giving other people ideas as well :smirk:
Paste Pot Pete 01-26-05, 03:52 PM	102) If you have a steamy affair with the noble's wife that you just rescued don't tell the noble about it.
Jason Kain 01-26-05, 03:56 PM	102) If you volunteer for attacks of opprotunity, assuming I don't know what I'm doing, you will take them when you normally wouldn't be entitled to them. 103) I know that a troll can rend. I know that a troll will rend. I also know that this one doesn't. Now shut up about it. What do y-...I told you, he doesn't ****ing rend! Now shut-... Fine. Take your rend damage. I forgot to mention, he does an extra 3d12 damage on a rend. What? That's not fair? I thought you wanted to take the rend damage, since you wouldn't stop telling me what my own monster does. 104) Hey, this goblin has 20 levels of Barbarian and dislikes being jumped from behind by a monk with Vow of Poverty. Whoops, forgot to mention that.
Vanigo 01-26-05, 04:16 PM	Face it every action does have a consequence, the key to a Paladin is his ability to figure out those consequences. In the case that is being discussed, I do agree that in a world were Griffons (and other exotic beasts) can become mounts that there are places where one can stable them. HOWEVER, that may only be the case in the Major Metropolis's or the extremely Magic rich land to the south or what-have-you, but it will not be the case in the average town or village. And if you do find a place to stable these beasts expect the price to be a premium.... after all it is not a simple horse. Even if you demand omnicience from your paladins (which I think is patently absurd, but whatever) look at the "chaos" that was sown. He scared some horses. Indirectly. Big whoop. What do you think happens when a paladin starts hacking through evil cultists to disrupt the ceremony by which they hope to summon a dark god? He scares the crap out of them, directly, and then kills them. That's way more chaos than spooking some animals, but no DM worthy of breathing would make someone lose their paladinhood for it.
Raelinne 01-26-05, 04:44 PM	50 If the DM says "You suuuuuuure you want to do that?", you sat NO! and run!! 50-a Caveat: If the DM says "You do WHAT?", your answer should ONLY be "Uhh, nothing. Why?", followed up by a prayer that the DM really didn't hear what you said.
Alynn 01-26-05, 04:57 PM	105) Just because you succeed on your spellcraft check, and you know that the mage is casting a fireball on you, doesn't make you immune to said fireball. 106) There are many more than 101 reasons for pretty much anything DM related :P
Aricandor 01-26-05, 05:07 PM	107) If your party has a weakness, no matter how obscure or small, the DM will use it against you until you cover it. Then he'll find another :devil:
Autopsibiofeeder 01-26-05, 05:57 PM	108- That you should notify the dm if you are casting a spell defensively (but off-course I am casting defensively!!!) 109- That a low-level fighter may NOT make an untrained knowledge check to see if he knows about a trolls fire vulnerability when encountering them for the first time
jera 01-26-05, 06:27 PM	this all happend in one session so any way 110. if i say shut that danm music off(pcs used to listen to hip hop during sessions) do it and you wont fall in to a pit with 79 level 50 zombies with regeneration abilitys. 111: never ever say to a dm, WHAT R U GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? 112: and never ever say to a dm YOU CANT DO CRAP ABOUT(ENTER WORD HEAR) 113: to a dm everything is fair me: car(pc) shut off that danm music or ill have to smite you. :mad: car: ill listen to what i want you cant do crap about my cd player me: roll car: 17(smirking) natural me: okay your lucky you relise about a trap milliseconds before you hit it and scream a warning saving everyone else but you fall in to a pit that is 200 feet deep and filled 79 level 50 zombies all with great swords and regeneration abilitys car:thats not fair me: in your hesitation to act you are malled beond beleife and you bodie is torn apart and eaten so there is no chance of regeneration. u will have to start as a zero level charecter with basic profishancys
Vecna, lord of secrets 01-26-05, 06:41 PM	Never ever burn everything in a lich's tower in order to burn thier phylactrphy. My party did this twice, both times resulted in mass death. Never trust recurring NPCs If I say that you fail a save, then you failed the **** save so shut the **** up. I don't have to tell you an NCP readied an action Just because someone is an orc that doesn't mean they like being treated like a gullible fool. You are always being followed. An honorable heroic death is a death nonetheless A lich does not need to be a skinny bag of bones
VirgilCaine 01-26-05, 07:01 PM	That trolls, vampires, and lycanthropes weaknesses are fair game for "metagame" knowledge. Anything else, isn't. That I expect a certain minimum of tactical competency from players. Common sense precautions against That I expect words to be spelled correctly. Never think a lich is stupid enough to keep his phylactery on his body. I never use NPC wealth tables for PC class NPCs.
Autopsibiofeeder 01-26-05, 07:04 PM	pcs used to listen to hip hop during sessions If they were my players they should have known that they would have been banned from the party the first time they did this, but that is just me, probably......
Zeke_was_taken 01-26-05, 07:26 PM	126) Every NPC is named as he should be. If my characters researched, let alone knew anything about classiacal literature, they would not be surprised about sudden plot twists. "Wait, Judas is betraying us? What the hell?"
Bane 01-26-05, 07:59 PM	127: If your dice tower falls, you take damage equal to the product of the numbers showing. 128: I am allowed to kick the table to cause 127 to happen. 129: If you do not own the book, you will not be allowed to peruse it during the game, and you never get to look through other stuff during combat. 130: If you metagame about anything, I will bring out the BOVD. 131: No you can't look through the BOVD. 132: If you attack the rest of the party, they are not required to spare you. 133: Saying "You can't do that!" to the DM will ensure that it happens twice. 134: This is not a video game. You will not respawn. 135: If you don't ask for a skill roll, you don't get it. I will not Sense Motive for you. 136: If you want magic, you will either find it yourself, or you will commission it. You will not walk into Magic-Mart. 137: Think, then act.
Executrix Swordslasher 01-26-05, 08:04 PM	138) Don't use doppelganger's ability to change gender while talking to dwarves. 139) Don't hand in a character sheet that says "1/4 male" 140) When you find a glowing item, use "detect magic", not fire an arrow and stare at it for the next 10 mins in RL. 141) Don't get your head bitten off by the fat undead, having ur friends dig thru his mouth afterwards isn't pleasant, even if you have a psicrystal do it. 142) Remember there are different perspectives, and their alignment does not speak for their actions. *Actually my players don't really know this yet, but it's a major part of the campaign yet to unveil.
PinkVishnu 01-26-05, 08:30 PM	13. Creatures without pockets encountered in the wild don't have loot... stop searching them PC: I search the dead winter wolf Me: You find his internal organs and lots of blood... :nonono: 14. If an object is attached to something (the wall, the floor, etc) DON'T TAKE IT!!!! Opening the secret door that held the Ooze back is not a reward for pulling something out of a slot, i don't care if it was a greatsword... :banghead: ha, actually, my DM hid a key in a dead dog once. You have to be thorough...
Jayr 01-26-05, 08:35 PM	143) Kobolds and goblins are not stupid. A lot of them have rogue levels and ranks in Craft (Trapmaking). Try to take on a full goblin warband or kobold tribe at low levels and you won't live to regret it. 144) The BBEG of your first adventure is, 99% of the time, not Asmodeus/the Tarrasque/Shar. If they were, they could kick your sorry first-level hides in half a free action. Expect to be fighting an advanced goblin, an advanced reptillian humanoid, a rogue, or any two of the above. Three if I decide to use Savage Species templates. 145) "Sargatanas" and "Cthulu" are not the names of classed NPCs. Almost all historical/mythological figures are epic. Almost all famous figures of literature are epic. Deal with it. 146) This is not Faerun, this is my homebrew world. If you so much as think the words "Drizzt Do'Urden" an interdimensional paradoxical vortex will instantly form, causing your head to explode. 147) If you complain when the DM's description or artwork of a monster doesn't match the MM/MMII/LM/whatever picture, it will spontaneously double in size and/or return from the dead and/or turn paragon. 148) If you take too long for your turns, and I discover that you have been downloading "pictures" on the laptop that you were supposed to be using for dice roll generation, heads will fly. 149) You cannot invent guns. Period. Ditto for napalm. 150) Use 1 thing from the BoVD and you may become evil. Use 2 things from the BoVD and you will probably become evil. Use 3 things from the BoVD, or try to do something sufficiently nasty to a good NPC, and instant smoting beacon.
Winter Fallout 01-26-05, 08:53 PM	151: Just because the Vampire turned into a gaseous form, doesn't mean you dusted it.
aaron3579 01-26-05, 09:10 PM	152: Female players: Offering 'special favors' to the DM outside of the game is not going to curry in-game favor. 153: Female players: Your tears fail to warm my icy heart when shed over the death of an in-game pet.
Alynn 01-26-05, 09:33 PM	152: Female players: Offering 'special favors' to the DM outside of the game is not going to curry in-game favor. 153: Female players: Your tears fail to warm my icy heart when shed over the death of an in-game pet. Errata Part I for 152: This however may need a bit of finesse when you live with and/or married to said female. Errata Part II for 152: This is also a two way street :P. (You call it railroading, I call it flirting). Errata Part III for 152: Offering special favors to the DM is always welcome when you expect nothing in return.
aaron3579 01-26-05, 09:42 PM	Errata Part I for 152: This however may need a bit of finesse when you live with and/or married to said female. Errata Part II for 152: This is also a two way street :P. (You call it railroading, I call it flirting). Errata Part III for 152: Offering special favors to the DM is always welcome when you expect nothing in return. This eddition has been approved.
Vanigo 01-26-05, 10:16 PM	150) Use 1 thing from the BoVD and you may become evil. Use 2 things from the BoVD and you will probably become evil. Use 3 things from the BoVD, or try to do something sufficiently nasty to a good NPC, and instant smoting beacon. I hope you make an exception for impotent possessor and the like...
Loren Pechtel 01-26-05, 11:42 PM	80.) You can't beat every encounter. If you see a huge red dragon fly over head, don't shoot it with an arrow. Yeah. So many players just don't get this. I won't throw anything at the party they can't handle. However, handle includes "run away" and "talk, don't fight".
Loren Pechtel 01-26-05, 11:50 PM	139) Don't hand in a character sheet that says "1/4 male" So, a hemadorphite. What's the problem? Try that on me and I'd say you had the apparatus of both genders but the male equipment wouldn't be fully functional. You would have a hard time finding bedmates but otherwise it wouldn't matter.
penchant 01-27-05, 12:36 AM	Even if you demand omnicience from your paladins (which I think is patently absurd, but whatever) look at the "chaos" that was sown. He scared some horses. Indirectly. Big whoop. What do you think happens when a paladin starts hacking through evil cultists to disrupt the ceremony by which they hope to summon a dark god? He scares the crap out of them, directly, and then kills them. That's way more chaos than spooking some animals, but no DM worthy of breathing would make someone lose their paladinhood for it. OK, ONE seeing a line of horses in stalls and figuring out that the griffon may not fit there is not omnisience. "One of these is not like the others. One of these is not the same." TWO, scrambling and dying cultists = good chaos. scrambling and dying horses of every adventurer in the inn = bad chaos.
Mikal 01-27-05, 01:46 AM	Face it every action does have a consequence, the key to a Paladin is his ability to figure out those consequences. In the case that is being discussed, I do agree that in a world were Griffons (and other exotic beasts) can become mounts that there are places where one can stable them. HOWEVER, that may only be the case in the Major Metropolis's or the extremely Magic rich land to the south or what-have-you, but it will not be the case in the average town or village. And if you do find a place to stable these beasts expect the price to be a premium.... after all it is not a simple horse. you're right. it's smarter, tamer,and more well behaved. as such, it'd be cheaper to stable it. (or hell, tell it to go hunting for a while and Call it when you're ready) and you can always give the paladin a really easy wisdom check saying 'your mount likes horse meat'
Vanigo 01-27-05, 02:20 AM	OK, ONE seeing a line of horses in stalls and figuring out that the griffon may not fit there is not omnisience. "One of these is not like the others. One of these is not the same." TWO, scrambling and dying cultists = good chaos. scrambling and dying horses of every adventurer in the inn = bad chaos. Come, now. The nature of the chaos - fear and disorganization - is the same. The target is different, but we all know that morality in D&D is absolute. You can justify killing evil cultists as good, since they're evil cultists, but it's unlikely that you can justify it as lawful. And, you know, come to think of it, chaotic acts don't make you lose paladinhood immediately, or have any effect on your paladinhood at all unless they shift your alignment from LG. Evil acts make you instantly lose paladinhood, but not chaotic ones.
penchant 01-27-05, 03:13 AM	Come, now. The nature of the chaos - fear and disorganization - is the same. The target is different, but we all know that morality in D&D is absolute. You can justify killing evil cultists as good, since they're evil cultists, but it's unlikely that you can justify it as lawful. huh? Paladins have always justified killing evil cultists as being well within the law and their rights to enforce it. We all disagree whether or not morality in D&D is absolute, that's why there are so many paladin threads. And, you know, come to think of it, chaotic acts don't make you lose paladinhood immediately, or have any effect on your paladinhood at all unless they shift your alignment from LG. Evil acts make you instantly lose paladinhood, but not chaotic ones. Not true. Evil acts make you lose abilities and benefits of being a paladin. Atonement if possible can get them back. Evil acts do not change your alignment but put them in question. The same with chaotic ones. If you, and others like you, may have noticed this has(had) been a fun thread where we put things that make us laugh. You paladin argument people seriously chafe my nuts and I think that such obsession with minutiae does not enrich or benefit anyone. I will no longer respond to this.
aaron3579 01-27-05, 03:34 AM	If you, and others like you, may have noticed this has(had) been a fun thread where we put things that make us laugh. You paladin argument people seriously chafe my nuts and I think that such obsession with minutiae does not enrich or benefit anyone. I will no longer respond to this. You should have just left it at that, man. Now the monkeys are going to feel like they need to defend their bruised egos. Even though I don't agree with you about the paladin issues, I recognize that this is not the thread on which to persuade you to see it otherwise. SO... 153: (One of) my parties should have realized by now that I think of the rules as mere suggestions. They still wonder why knowing the MM by heart doesn't give them an edge in combat.
penchant 01-27-05, 05:03 AM	I'm sorry, I apologize to all the regular members of this board. Its just that this is specifically a thread about our opinions and experiences in a 101 format. Notice that the only thing that has gotten any attention is the one about the Paladin, which I earlier admitted was stretched (though still true) for humor. And still, its the same old thing where there is already a very active Paladin thread above. I'm easy going and even tempered but it like the death of a thousand cuts. Sorry.
Tyrion 01-27-05, 05:06 AM	154. Resistance is futile. 155. You play for my amusement, not for yours. 156. The easy path will always be hard, and the hard path will just be harder. 157. I can roll the dice behind my screen in complete secretcy, which pretty much means fate doesn't like your character. (oops, that 2 was really a 20...) 158. Spontanious combustion is always a good way to have a night of fun. 159. Proportions. In other words, the amount of stupidity displayed is directly proportional to the amount of creatures ready to eat you. 160. There will be at least a trap for every square foot in a room. 161. If you're lucky.
Vaelan 01-27-05, 06:42 AM	162. Both levers are trapped. 163. Look for a third lever. 164. For the love of God, CHECK IT FOR TRAPS! 165. I reserve the right to apply the above principle to things, people, or events that may or may not be levers or lever-like in nature.
VirgilCaine 01-27-05, 09:49 AM	149) You cannot invent guns. Period. Ditto for napalm. Um, Alchemists Fire is a lot like napalm. Well, except for the whole "ignites on contact with air" thing. Yeah. So many players just don't get this. I won't throw anything at the party they can't handle. However, handle includes "run away" and "talk, don't fight". I like this. Very true.
Alcari Ambaron 01-27-05, 10:33 AM	166) just because there are 12 buttons, there does not have to be a "right one" 167) if anyone but me ever cheats on rolling dice they will meet a very large and hungry dragon 168) those random encounter rolls dont mean a thing, you will meet a [nasty monster here] whatever the roll. this just makes it look fair. Originally Posted by Jayr 149) You cannot invent guns. Period. Ditto for napalm. 169) I, on the other hand, CAN :evillaugh
Loopy 01-27-05, 10:39 AM	170) For the third time, are you suuuure you want to do that?
sollmn 01-27-05, 10:43 AM	Cheating on your dice only makes it less fun for yourself by taking away the risk and challenge. Just remember, if the DM wanted to kill you, you'd already be dead.
HelDM 01-27-05, 10:55 AM	171) it's not a good idea to leave your animals at the camp. at least, not when the druid NPC who was protecting you died and was reincarnated to attack you. 172) I AM THE DM... shut up! 173) arguements with me always end up in broken noses (either in or out game ;) ) 174) it's ROLEplay, not ROLLplay. 175) The mighty wizard IS actually a gnome illusionist ;) 176) ressurrection is NOT done for free *sigh* 177) never oppose a black dragon, who is cleaning his teeth with a toothpick 178) never ask the bad guy for mercy 179) believe me when I say: "you're dead..."
CuCulain42 01-27-05, 11:29 AM	180: Evend a lowly copper dagger can be magical 181: Kobold favored class is sorcerer, expect there to be some. 182: Kobold sorcerers will have useful (to them) spells. 183: Expect every other caster to likewise have spells that will be used against you. 184: You must tell me when you want to search. If you do not you will not find anything.
Vanigo 01-27-05, 03:26 PM	Not true. Evil acts make you lose abilities and benefits of being a paladin. Atonement if possible can get them back. Evil acts do not change your alignment but put them in question. The same with chaotic ones. Nope. Here's the relevant passage: Ex-Paladins A paladin who ceases to be lawful good, who willfully commits an evil act, or who grossly violates the code of conduct loses all paladin spells and abilities (including the service of the paladin's mount, but not weapon, armor, and shield proficiencies). She may not progress any farther in levels as a paladin. She regains her abilities and advancement potential if she atones for her violations (see the atonement spell description, page 201), as appropriate. Note the lack of anything about chaotic acts. The code of conduct doesn't say anything about it, either: Code of Conduct: A paladin must be of lawful good alignment, and loses all class abilities if she ever willingly commits an evil act. Additionally, a paladin's code requires that she respect legitimate authority, act with honor (not lying, not cheating, not using poison, and so forth), help those in need (provided they do not use the help for evil or chaotic ends), and punish those who threaten innocents. The only way stabling a griffon could violate that is if the stableboy or someone else who represented a legitimate authority with respect to the stable told him not to, but he did it anyway. He's not going to do it anyway. He's going to say "Oh, yeah, I guess that is a bad idea" and find a different solution.
Lincoln Hills 01-27-05, 07:04 PM	88. There is a huge difference between the DM saying, "The corridor is empty," and the DM saying, "The corridor appears to be empty." 89. That difference is - the first corridor has something in it, and the DM's trying to catch you off guard with his off-handed assurance. The second corridor has nothing in it: he's just trying to make you paranoid, or, better yet, waste time searching an empty passage.
General_Ridley 01-27-05, 07:54 PM	190. If I throuw a great wyrm half-fiend red dragon in your way, I really don't want you going that way yet.
ManinDarkness 01-27-05, 08:29 PM	191) You have not seen the last of the BBEG. 192) You have not seen the last BBEG. 193) If the dragon almost killed the dragon-slaying ranger, and there is convenient exit, take the exit, don't go towards the dragon. 194) You should investigate more. 195) The plot has no holes. Time is a fluctuating concept. 196) Free pizza is good for the DM's humor. 197) No monster has a fear aura :embarrass 198) Search as much as you want; you're searching in the wrong place. 199) Wells are not connected to sewers.
Darkstealth 01-27-05, 09:06 PM	200) If you pick something up, they hurt you bad. 201) The opponents never miss. 202) The DC was always *just another point* 203) If you roll a 3 you are screwed. 204) If you roll an 18 then all of the sudden you are even more screwed than if you rolled a 3. *hmm... let's see here. He deals... let's see... Swashbuckler, 3rd level. Str 18, Dex 18, Con 18, Int 18, ...* 205) There is no Cellphone. 206) The BBEG battle always lasts at least 20 rounds. 207) All Vorpal Swords are -2 cursed swords that are called Vorpal for sales reasons. 208) If the fighter busts down a door at the front of the line, he's going to die. PC: I knock the door down. *rolls a 20* sweet! DM: Okay. So, you enter the room. A giant boulder falls down on you. Roll a Reflex. PC: *rolls 15* Yay! I get a +0 to that roll!* 209) All traps set off several mechanisms *from last scinerio DM: The Boulder hits you, and a toxic gas spreads throughout the room. Make a Fort save. PC: Yay, a good one! *rolls natural 1* or not. DM: You cough and feel nausious. The smoke sets off a smoke alarm and suddenly twenty antimatter rifles pop out of the walls, and shoot at you. *rolls for attack* They hit. *rolls for damage* 6d8x20... oh, lookey, max damage. That's 48x20... 960 damage. PC: No matter! I have- 20 HP... DM: Roll a Fort save or die... if you make it, you die anyway... PC: *rolls natural 20* oh crap. DM: You are at -940 hp. You die. But wait, flames pop out of the antimatter rifles. Other PC's: :blink::uh-huh::OMG:OMG!:OMG!
enailis 01-27-05, 09:10 PM	210) The Half-Elven girl at the bar ALWAYS has 30 levels in every class
kuhTHOOloo 01-28-05, 01:06 AM	211. Asking a Drow merchant for a scroll of daylight is not a good idea. (My first game, never heard of Drow before that day..so sue me)
penchant 01-28-05, 01:49 AM	Nope. Here's the relevant passage: Note the lack of anything about chaotic acts. The code of conduct doesn't say anything about it, either: The only way stabling a griffon could violate that is if the stableboy or someone else who represented a legitimate authority with respect to the stable told him not to, but he did it anyway. He's not going to do it anyway. He's going to say "Oh, yeah, I guess that is a bad idea" and find a different solution. Wow. Gee... I guess you win. Here's your... oh right. you get nothing.
Vanigo 01-28-05, 03:16 AM	Wow. Gee... I guess you win. Here's your... oh right. you get nothing. 212) Success is a journey, not a destination.
penchant 01-28-05, 05:35 AM	212-B Keep on keepin' on.
The nameles one 01-28-05, 06:03 AM	213-Never lend your Draconomicon or Libris Mortis to the DM :evillaugh
penchant 01-28-05, 06:56 AM	214) If you are so proud and gloat that you dispatched my monster in one round it WILL spontaneously rise with an undead template the next round. 215) ANYTHING can be a half demon 216) That irritating bard you are about to smack is a retired drunken master monk. 217) The Assassin prestige class is on my side, not yours. Even when you are one.
silvermist 01-28-05, 09:32 AM	218. just because someone describes a dragon as being "kinda blue" does not mean it is a Blue Dragon 219. i am not going to offer you an inteligence check with your spot check to notice that the bluish dragon in front of you is not a Blue Dragon, you will figure that out when it does things you know blue dragons dont do
silvermist 01-28-05, 09:37 AM	220. if you do something terrible to someone you loose your palidainhood 221. if that person survived the terrible thing when/if you get your palidainhood back he's going to kick you in it 222. if someone is a lycanthrope and you caputure him, taking him back to the local village for un-lycanthroping and the local healer says "we can take care of it from here" what they clearly mean is "as soon as you leave this lycanthrope is going to break free and kill us all and then you'll be in trouble" never assume villagers can do anything they say they can "take from here" 223. take turns telling me what your character is doing/going to do. the dm cannot follow six conversations at once and if resultingly you miss out on doing something that is not necessarily all my fault
silvermist 01-28-05, 09:41 AM	these are things i wouldnt think you'd have to learn in the first place 224. if the you find something the dm describes as a substance of 'dubious uses' do not by any means catch it on fire 225. see how far across the chasm full of lightning is before you try to jump over it
Lord Lorac Silvanos 01-28-05, 10:10 AM	226) Do not give detailed descriptions of your strategies and spell casting capabilities to every random stranger that comes asking. Not all old ladies, small curious boys and overweight drunken adventurers are what they appear to be :rolleyes:
Warslayngawds 01-28-05, 10:51 AM	227)Obviously, the only rational solution to your problem is to generate a new character. 228)The probability of a succesful dice roll is inversly proportionate to the relative amount of negative impact it's failure will have on your character. 229)Throwing your dice after a bad roll does not make them perform better for you on later rolls(heaven knows how many d20's I've had to dodge in my time...at least he wasn't trying to hit me I suppose) RAWK!!! Eric and The Gazebo Rules!
Drausktanchache 01-28-05, 11:10 AM	Ok so in my campaign 1.) If you fight an acidic dragon DON'T go sticking you hands in it's crap DM- after killing the acidic green dragon you see a lage heap of dragon crap what do you do? PC- I search it! DM - you burn your hands off taking a -20 on all checks dealing with your hands... Don't you remember the GREEN DRAGON you just fought? 2.) Remeber to save dying charachters first as a paladin DM- ok you cast chain lightning and all your remaining foes fall to the ground what do you do? Paladin pc- I run past the dying fighter and get the magic longbow from the orc. DM- who died and made you DM? Paladin PC- Well the orc was hitting us with frost and shock damage and I want THAT bow. DM- ok you get the NORMAL steel longbow oh and while running past your fighter he dies and you lose ALL of your paladin abilities. Was the bow really THAT important? 3.) Never test poision on a dart. DM- a man sits on the ground and a dart is in his shoulder waht do you do? PC- I cat detect poision. DM- You sense poision. PC- I pull the dart out and taste the liquid at the point of it. DM- *rolls* you take 6 points of constitution damage. Next time will you think of not tasting poision after detecting it. Man PCs are just a little wierd in their decisions many more things hav happened like tis in my and my friend's campaigns.
Peterb 01-28-05, 11:13 AM	235. Not announcing that you are going to the bathroom every once in a while will come back to haunt you in a battle.
hotoro 01-28-05, 01:03 PM	236. Carrying the severed head of your opponent as a trophy may in fact attract the interest of hungry dire animals. 237. The phrase "I make a (Insert Skill) roll to see if this is a bad idea, may jusr result in the DM laughing at you. 238. When the minotaur barbarian/rogue is on fire and prone, DO NOT STOMP OUT THE FIRE. 239. Do not bull rush/slam a creature you know to have "Engulf." 240. If your stupid party member was engulfed by the creature (ooze) he bull rushed, do not proceed to attack the creature by lighting it on fire. 241. If the resulting engulfing destroys the clothes you're wearing, do not forget that you're nude before entering a tavern and inquiring over the location of the leader of the town's assassin guild. These were all actions of the same PC in the same campaign.
KDSN 01-28-05, 01:27 PM	[QUOTE=Callista] 44. Player suggestions sometimes get incorporated into the game, in unexpected ways. Beware what you suggest. (I once had one of my players jokingly suggest they were going to face a dragon... another suggested that they heard an explosion... guess what happened? Oh, and by the way... the explosion was orcs and gunpowder. The dragon was the orcs' backup. Not a good combination.)[QUOTE] See Tag 242. Not all NPC's are evil. Not all NPC's are out to kill PC's archeologist may just be archologists. 243. My personal Rule #1 dont ever give the DM ideas!!!!!!!
Talon Blackhart 01-28-05, 02:02 PM	#244 Just because the DM says you don't find anything, that doesn't mean that there's nothing to find. 244a- The same goes for listen checks and knowledge checks.
HomebrewedMonster 01-28-05, 02:38 PM	Yeah. So many players just don't get this. I won't throw anything at the party they can't handle. However, handle includes "run away" and "talk, don't fight". When an known bandit and his band of 24 marry men ask for you to drop your weapons and take you captive, at first level, please do it. As a DM I hate starting with a new party twice in one day.
Alynn 01-28-05, 02:40 PM	245) Your character is represented by your character sheet. If you accidently wash your character sheet, your character drowned in a freak flash flood. If your dog ate it, some titan's pet mutt thought you were a chew toy. If your younger sister writes "[My brother] has no *****." in red perminent marker on your character sheet... guess what... (The only one that didn't happen was the dog eating a char sheet)
Alcari Ambaron 01-28-05, 03:16 PM	246) The DM doesnt really want you all to die, leaving one alive mean you dont have to wait untill everybody makes new characters. 243. My personal Rule #1 dont ever give the DM ideas!!!!!!! SO very true. (but please, all players, continue to do so it makes the DM job so much more easy)
Alcari Ambaron 01-28-05, 03:21 PM	247) watching TV will result in XP loss. 248) think before you act, preferably during the other players turn. 249) testing if poisoned weapon is still sharp should not be done with your hand. 250) that "expended recources" for an encouter include, but is not limited to, the cost of resurection and loss of life.
Maryk_Keiros 01-28-05, 05:50 PM	251) Just because it's a wish, doesn't mean you win the campaign... 251)...If a pc says he's going to throw another pc down a well, he probably will 252) If you're fighting a baddie, and you've done 200 damage, and you're at level 6, you're not oging to win... 253) You can throw a halfling really really far...
Maryk_Keiros 01-28-05, 05:58 PM	253)Don't hug monsters!!! DM: A young Kobuld walks out of a crack in the wall... Jewel: What's a Kobuld? DM *shows a picture of a kobuld* That's a kobuld, the one that came out of the crack in the wall is younger and smaller... Jewel: IT's CUTE!!!! My character hugs it DM* rolls die* you take 6 damage...and you lose 3 points in intelligence
True Cavalier 01-28-05, 06:03 PM	#255: Attacking people in bright daylight in guard-filled cities is a bad idea. #256: If you just ran past a trap I forgot about, do not remind me! #257: When enemies are shooting at you, just TAKE COVER DAMMIT! :P #258: Sorcerers rushing in melee with greataxes tend to lose their heads. #259: I don't like it when players make fun of my favorite NPCs. Ever.
DeWayne 01-28-05, 08:19 PM	#260 The players REALLY don't want to do something that's going to force me to write up combat related stats for high level NPCs - they won't like the stats when I get done.
Dev_Riven 01-28-05, 11:36 PM	#261. DM isn't god. God is one of the DM's NPCs. #262. Please, please new players, stop rolling a d20 when you cast a spell, unless DM ask for concentration or Spellcraft. Please!
True Archon 01-29-05, 07:51 AM	263. If you make a move, the DM asks if that's your action, you reply in the affirmative, the DM says you provoked an Attack of Opportunity.... NO YOU CAN'T TAKE YOUR MOVE BACK! 264. If the DM does allow you to take back an action to avoid an attack of opportunity, don't get upset if he makes the same mistake against you and then changes his action. 265. Just because you maxed out your ranks in Hide and Move Silently doesn't mean that you'll never get detected. Pretty annoying when this is heard "What do you mean he detected me? How is that possible? I have +15 on both move silently and hide! I want to know what his spot and listen are, because I know that's not possible for a encounter of this level!" 266. Never assume that the DM would not put you in an Encounter above your Challenge Rating. And don't keep trying to disbelieve that Encounter as an illusion if your first check results in you believing that IT IS REAL!
Juan Moore 01-29-05, 08:43 AM	267. You don't have to charge everything. 268. If the party's Dwarven Barbarian dies, that might be a hard monster to beat. 269. Always specifiy exactly what you're doing and how you're doing it so the DM can't mess you up. Actually, this only reduces his chances at messing you up. 270. Wanna push the envelope? Toe the line? Well, play without a DM screen and see how long your character lasts! DM: Well, if the screen was up, this 20 would've been a 19... enough for a critical, but now... oops, another 20... I'm sorry. Let's see if I get a third 20... yes... I'm sorry, but you died instantly. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. 271. Appeals to the DM are duly noted and infrequently acted on. 272. Want more powerful magic stuff? Hope you can find your way to Thay. 273. No matter what you do, your character has a weakness. Particularly your favorite character. 274. Reminding the DM that a monster hasn't taken its action yet is a sure way to acheive 2 things... 1) get a handful of exp 2) die 275. Coins weigh a pound per 50. And it's a rule we ARE using! 276. Carrying too much weight? Set your backpack down before combat! 277. Deep-crystal Spiked Chain... no. 278. Overkill might sound like fun, but when the body explodes and you die from the bone shards, it won't be fun. 279. Buying a cart just to wheel around your tent is not a particularly sharp idea. 280. Discretion is the better part of valor. A combat action you should never forget is withdraw. (also don't forget "run away")
Light of Day 01-29-05, 10:46 AM	281: I don't CARE if you were joking, if you say you stick your head in the portal, you stick your head in the ******* portal. No you CAN'T take it back. 282: If your character died through your own stupidity, you do NOT get to roll up a new character at the same level, and I do NOT have to find a convinient place to introduce your new character as fast as possible. 283: I don't CARE how badly that curse screws you up, or how much it'll cost to restore those negative levels, killing your character off and rolling up a new one is NOT the solution. 284: Sure, you can play a kobold. It is not my responsibilty, however, to remind you that as a kobold you will be hated and persecuted in most towns you visit. Nor is it my responsibilty to remind you common is not an automatic language for kobolds. 285: I don't care how many minutes it's been since your last fight, there are times when I *gasp* want you to roleplay! I don't care how much this notion offends you, and if you ever utter the phrase "I'm bored, when can we go kill something?" I WILL take it in character. 276. Carrying too much weight? Set your backpack down before combat!276a: If the combat proves too tough and you have to run away, it's YOUR job to remember you dropped your pack, NOT mine.
Warslayngawds 01-29-05, 12:59 PM	286) It is not against the rules to take notes occasionally, and really I don't mind if you need me to slow down to do it. 286a)If the note taking is done in character it can and usually will result in rp exp for that character. No I don't feel the need to keep the pc's at even xp lvls, don't try to convince me otherwise.
oshmir sargon 01-29-05, 01:31 PM	287. Just leave the f****** dead skeletons alone! they won't attack you! well, at least in most cases... :evillaugh
jera 01-29-05, 01:46 PM	288. no there is no magical ring of invisibility that you read about in my note when i was in the bathroom........ you find a great black wyrm. and boy is he pi**ed
danielinthewolvesden 01-29-05, 02:11 PM	And a few things the DM needs to know: 1. If all the players get up and walk out the door, you won't have much fun being cruel, vindictive & petty by yourself. 2. You can't really make changes to a players character without his permission. All you can do is tell a player he's going to do so if he keeps playing in your game. If you do something silly or wrong to my PC, I can & will say "Nope, that didn't happen" and walk out. 3 If you think you killed my PC in some strange, unfair & petty manner, don't be suprised to see that character alive & well in another DM's campaign. 4. You can't "tear up my character sheet' without fingers. Think about it. 5. NO, when you are DM, you are NOT "God". Not even close. 6. Sure, every world is a bit different and all but.....The folks at Wotc spent thousands of staff hours writing & playtesting the game. No, you really can't make it better with 20 pages of houserules, all done because "Well, that sounds better to me". Nothing wrong with a few Houserules, mind you, but if they don't fit on one sheet of paper- double spaced- maybe you're getting your Gawd-complex get out of hand. 7. If your "low magic campaign" really means a "cheap*ss campaign" or that you're a "controlphreak DM"- see rule #1.
Alcari Ambaron 01-29-05, 03:51 PM	5. NO, when you are DM, you are NOT "God". Not even close. indeed, when i am DM "God" is far beneath me. :evillaugh
Paulpedersen 01-29-05, 03:59 PM	im going to have to agree with the ^ we DM's are not gods, we are destiny. its subtly different. #289. metagaming is always a bad idea. just because you have not yet found the exit means there is one yet. (brackets are actual metagame vocalisations) Rogue: i jump across and search for a lever (HE WONT HAVE US TRAPPED IN HERE) me: you dont find 1 lever, you find 3. rogue: i search them for traps me: you dont FIND any, you notice 3 inscriptions 'destiny' 'is' and 'angry' rogue: (lol you think im going to take that obvious hint) i pull all three (you goon) me: dust falls on your shoulder, you cannot help but look up, make a spot check rogue: yay a natural twenty me: you make out the inscription, i told you so rogue (what, you cant) me: make a dc 50 reflex save rogue: i fail me: you are squished by a 500 tonne block of granite, the door unlocks letting the other characters out other pcs: cheers chix (rogues name) he rolled up again, they were originally going to be rescued b the hermit monk, but i was getting sick of metagaming ruining it.
Elemental 01-29-05, 06:10 PM	218. just because someone describes a dragon as being "kinda blue" does not mean it is a Blue Dragon Yeah. It could just be feeling a bit depressed and maudlin. 290: Bad guys (unless unintelligent, fanatical, etc) want to live as badly as the PC's do, and will retreat if they're getting hammered. 290a: And if they run away from you, you still 'defeated' them, so you still get XP. No need to chase them all down. 291: With bluffing and careful use of limited spells, someone can appear vastly more powerful than they are, without being an UberNPC. 292: You don't need to describe how you look foolish when you roll a '1' on a skill or attack roll--there are no crit failure rules, just a lot of houserules that implement the horrible little things. I'll usually describe it on the lines of "The enemy pulls off an impressive defence that's a little more impressive than your attack.", in any case, so you can fail without looking incompetent. 293: Getting the right answer to the riddle may mean you still get blasted. The guy who built this tomb only wanted certain people getting in--why would he base that judgement on whether or not you could guess a riddle?
Blairconz 01-29-05, 07:03 PM	294) Rolling a 25 at lvl 4 is NOT always a hit Player:25 good enough to hit DM: No Player: WHAT??? It's just a stock orc in scale, surely I MUST hit DM: No Player: It's flipping AC cannot be more than 14, a 25 MUST hit. DM: No, now is that all? Player: Why not? Why do I miss? DM: Because I'm the DM and you don't know what modifiers I'm applying Player: But the rules say ... DM: Right, player 2, your turn, what would you like to do ... Player: But I still had a move action! DM: Guess what? Player: What? DM: You don't now. Now player 2, care for a rules debate? The other players suddenly become very cooperative. 295) When the the DM says you lose a move action, you lose a move action.
Encard 01-29-05, 07:49 PM	danielinthewolvesden: Wow, exactly what I wanted to say. Shiny indeed. I'll just add one thing to that... 8. Rule 0 is not excuse to have an ego-trip. Your players can and will leave your game if you do, and then you'll have no game. 9. Spending your time creating a new race of super-elves does not excuse you from knowing the rules. And, for the players... 296. Please bring up any relevant sections in the rules you think I've missed. Please don't bring them up again after I've demonstrated that yes, I AM doing things by the rules. 297. Know what your spells do before you cast them. 298. If you build a character who can't do a thing in combat because "that's what REAL roleplayers do," expect to get kicked around in combat. I'm not going to go easy on your just because you don't understand that roleplaying does not require having a combat-weak character. 299. Roleplaying consists of playing your character appropriately, not of talking to everyone and everything you meet (unless that's the basis of the character). Not having ranks in Diplomacy and Bluff doesn't neither excuses nor prohibits you from roleplaying... So please, don't just sit there like a dead body when we're not in combat just because you're playing a fighter. 300. Yes, your mid-level bladesinger killing weaponless little kids with Charm Person cast on them is an evil act. I don't care if he's sworn to kill the caster. 301. Yes, Charm Person works on your character if you fail the save. Being an elf who's sworn to kill the caster doesn't protect you from it. 302. Playing a human will not make the game bad for you. Playing an elf will not make the game good for you. Playing an elf with the same exact personality as every other elf you've played - that is to say, whiny, randomly violent, useless, stupid, self-righteous, and generally hated by all - will really not make the game good for you. Get over it. 303. Angsting over everyone else's hate of your elf doesn't excuse you from knowing the rules. 304. I won't arbitrarily kill your characters. The jokes stopped being funny a while ago. 305. Actions have consequences. If you take an action, be prepared to face the consequences of it. 306. If the consequences seem unfair, you're welcome to talk to me about it. You're not welcome to keep arguing about it for several hours after I've already explained why it's perfectly reasonable and fair. 307. There are other things in life besides D&D. I'm not available every minute of every day to talk about D&D. 308. Proofread your character sheet before showing it to me. Yes, I will be irritated if every second thing I see there is wrong.
danielinthewolvesden 01-29-05, 08:26 PM	danielinthewolvesden: Wow, exactly what I wanted to say. Shiny indeed. I'll just add one thing to that... 8. Rule 0 is not excuse to have an ego-trip. Your players can and will leave your game if you do, and then you'll have no game. And, for the players... 296. Please bring up any relevant sections in the rules you think I've missed. Please don't bring them up again after I've demonstrated that yes, I AM doing things by the rules. 297. Know what your spells do before you cast them. 302. Playing a human will not make the game bad for you. Playing an elf will not make the game good for you. Playing an elf with the same exact personality as every other elf you've played - that is to say, whiny, randomly violent, useless, stupid, self-righteous, and generally hated by all - will really not make the game good for you. Get over it. 304. I won't arbitrarily kill your characters. The jokes stopped being funny a while ago. 305. Actions have consequences. If you take an action, be prepared to face the consequences of it. 306. If the consequences seem unfair, you're welcome to talk to me about it. You're not welcome to keep arguing about it for several hours after I've already explained why it's perfectly reasonable and fair. 308. Proofread your character sheet before showing it to me. Yes, I will be irritated if every second thing I see there is wrong. So true, so very very true..... :clap:
Dragoon 01-30-05, 02:03 AM	#309: If you wake me up at school, just to ask what will happen in the next session, I will have your character fried in the pits of the abyss. I need my sleep at school! #310: I am not stupid, I am not blind, Do not try to trick me for your puny character will feel my displeasure when you try to fool me. #311: Do not tell a charmed person where he can stick his contract. #312: If you mumble something and you refuse to tell me what it is, I will have to use my best judgement. To the DMs: Our job is to lead our fellow players in a fun game. If you ruin it for them you will be staring at an empty table. It can be fun to play DnD with yourself, I know I have to right now, it gets old, fast. DMs may act out the game gods, but trust me, No one is a god. DMs make the game fun, DMs are leaders, Take the fun or the leading out of the job and you have a PC. Enjoy
penchant 01-31-05, 01:35 AM	313) No, I didn't break the rules (RAW) I changed the laws of physics... temporarily... just for your character. 314) I do not use any rules that I do not have. If you try to prove your point by reading to be from a book / dragon magazine that I've never seen before, I will not be pleased.
zenos_paradox 01-31-05, 10:23 AM	do not poke the lady of pain!!!!!!!
Glenn4Moose 01-31-05, 11:11 AM	316) Whether or not its the first time someone is playing as dm assume that they have played more then enough to know ways to make your characters regret doing stupid things. 317) When entering the equivilant of the Ritz in a city and proceed to insult an old woman who is eating dinner there with her husband, even if its in the role of the male chauvinist pig you've made up who has much more wisdom to know its a bad idea, don't pick a fight with the husband. Those level 20 fighters do retire at some point.