Post/Author/DateTime	Post
dunjim 11-05-07, 04:26 PM	It all started innocently enough. One of my players bought an independently published supplement that detailed the use of Pixies as player-characters. Pixie Druids, Pixie Mages and even Pixie Barbarians! He asked if he could include pixie character in my current campaign. Foolishly, I agreed. At first things went well. The diminutive Pixie mage proved a useful compatriot to my more "traditional" party (even though he had a habit of casting "Dancing Lights" everywhere), a mix of Half-Orc barbarians, Dwarven Warriors, Human Clerics and Elven Rangers. However, like some hideous, insidious disease the Pixie had some fell influence over the rest of the group. It started when he insisted on throwing glitter over the gaming table every time he cast a spell, insisting this was fairy dust. I spent the better half of a week trying to explain to my wife that, no, I wasn't having an affair, I was playing D&D in my friends garage and the glitter was actually a by-product of entusiastic role-playing rather than from a mistresses make-up. I think she believed me.....eventually. Shortly afterwards, there followed what can only be described as a mass suicide by all of the party except the Half-Orc and the aforementioned Pixie Mage. Previously beloved characters met with entirely avoidable ends as they rushed head long, smiling it has to be said, into oblivion. The new characters they brought in were.....you guessed it....Pixies. Soon the entire party, bar one stalwart Barbarian Half-Orc, were Pixies. My friends, my tale of woe does not end there. This band of Pixies unleashed themselves upon my dour, dark fantasy, low magic, campaign setting like a glittery plague. They immersed themselves in their new roles. One of my players plundered his little sisters dressing up box and found a collection of fairy wings. He brought them to the garage whereupon they were seized with unseemly enthusiasm by the rest of the group (apart from the Half-Orc who watched, bemused). I suddenly found myself, in my usual DM's spot at the very back of the garage, with no exit, facing nine Scotsmen dressed with fairy wings. They insisted this was "method role-playing" and the wings helped them "get into their role". What I thought cannot be typed here lest I be banned for all eternity. The indignity did not end there. Another reprobate, whose name has been entered into the Great Book of Names Reserved For Players Names You Want To Enter Into A Book, discovered that inhaling helium from a balloon leant a pleasing Pixie like result to his voice. The very next week I was faced with the party armed with foil balloons filled with helium. They insisted on inhaling a small amount every time before their character spoke (I banned the helium from any further games because a) helium has a nasty habit of making you fall unconscious if you inhale too much and b) it is very, very silly) Finally, after collectively ruining the dark fantasy ambience lovingly created over many, many years, they decided to change class to bards and started a group called the Pixie Chicks. The Half-Orc Barbarian decided to go with them. He was last seen wearing a leather cut-off jacket with "Curity" painted in blood on the back. When I asked why he explained that the Pixies were paying him to be their bodyguard and, as a Half-Orc, he couldn't spell Security.
Dunsel 11-05-07, 04:44 PM	I really have nothing to say except it was the funniest post I have read in years!
kriskey 11-05-07, 06:06 PM	Hilarious. Can I join your gaming group? I just need to get my wings out of storage.
Prator_The_Golden 11-05-07, 06:11 PM	If this is for real, then I beg of you, in the name of all things holy, to videotape a gaming session and post it on Youtube. "Gaming Fairies." A classic to last through the ages...
kriskey 11-05-07, 06:17 PM	It sounds too good to be true, but if it is... for the love of God pictures are needed.
aotrscommander 11-05-07, 06:28 PM	Bwah...gah...mwuh... Excuse me, I feel the urgent need to clean out the inside of my skull with liquid anti-nitrogen again.
Archon-John 11-06-07, 03:02 AM	I think I'm going to call you a liar. Yup, here it comes... You, Sir, are a liar. Unless you have evidence... then I feel sorry for you. Also I'd have to congratulate you, because I'd be incarcerated at the moment if someone did that in my group.
Ayra 11-06-07, 07:08 AM	I think I'm going to call you a liar. Yup, here it comes... You, Sir, are a liar. Unless you have evidence... then I feel sorry for you. Also I'd have to congratulate you, because I'd be incarcerated at the moment if someone did that in my group. Liar or not, his story was really amusing :p
ErickHPingfoot 11-06-07, 09:38 AM	Tried desperately hard not to hit the reply button....failed the willpower check. I was there! What DunJim says is true......partly. :) The truth is, in some ways, more strange. It's my garage he is talking about. - - - - I run the alternate weeks SciFi, D20 Future, zombie hunting, post apocalypse type game. Various incarnations going back 25years! Solution to Pixie problem = Sawn off shotgun. - - - - - Yes: a player did 'ask' about being a Pixie in DunJims D&D game. Yes: Pixie wings were worn last Tuesday. But..... in fairness it was only during the 'break' and there weren't enough wings to go round. (Two folks had to be content with fairy wands.) Yes: High pitched Pixie voices were involved. But...only a couple and no helium was inhaled. Yes: there was glitter. But...it was on the table left over from an earlier construction project in garage with my 4 year old daughter. A stable for 'my-little-ponies' if you must know. Yes: having an entire party of Pixies was discussed. I'll claim the Pixie Chicks idea. (Dixie Chicks album was played during break for inspiration.) Yes: there was a threat of mass suicide with the Pixie replacement characters. But...... in the it was only two players and only involved going through a door marked "everlasting happiness". (What self respecting 1/2ling mage could resist.) Next characters will (most probably) not be Pixies. - - - - - - I hope this can now draw a veil over the whole Pixie incident. Probably a delicate gossamer green veil with silk screened butterfly's and some sequins........... None of us took the Pixie-Chicks party idea seriously.... until DunJim Master raised the stakes by telling the world. Therefore........no videos on youtube. Might record and post a sample of the player with the Pixie voice impression though. It was pretty good! I think I'll leave off the signature!
Phrennzy 11-06-07, 10:28 AM	Hi. I am an openly gay man. I have a My Little Pony avatar. I would draw the line at playing a pixie. (Although I love the idea of the glitter and the wings). P.S. I tried to write off your entire encounter to drunkenness when I read you are all Scottish.
Ikyotojin 11-06-07, 12:10 PM	Solution for pixie infestation. Halfling bounty hunters with a serious coffee habit armed wide hammers. THe standing bounty for flattened pixies in my world is 25 gold pieces each. (In my game pixies are the sneakiest little trouble makers and spoilers of crops, wedding receptions and teenage make out encounters.)
Pagan_Rogue 11-06-07, 01:52 PM	Oh goodness, thanks for the belly laugh! If your game is indeed real, I would give nearly anything to be a player (just not my wings;) ) Rock on, faerie dudes!
Ecalsneerg 11-06-07, 02:17 PM	I live in Scotland, and invite you to whatever games convention we end up havnig in the North-East. :P Bring wings.
dunjim 11-06-07, 03:42 PM	I think I'm going to call you a liar. Yup, here it comes... You, Sir, are a liar. Unless you have evidence... then I feel sorry for you. Also I'd have to congratulate you, because I'd be incarcerated at the moment if someone did that in my group. Thanks, its a long time since anyone called me Sir!!!:P
dunjim 11-06-07, 03:46 PM	Oh goodness, thanks for the belly laugh! If your game is indeed real, I would give nearly anything to be a player (just not my wings;) ) Rock on, faerie dudes! Thanks Pagan Rogue. I swear all of this happened....inside my head anyway. As you can see from Erick's post it is based far too heavily on fact for comfort............;)
dunjim 11-06-07, 03:48 PM	Solution for pixie infestation. Halfling bounty hunters with a serious coffee habit armed wide hammers. THe standing bounty for flattened pixies in my world is 25 gold pieces each. (In my game pixies are the sneakiest little trouble makers and spoilers of crops, wedding receptions and teenage make out encounters.) I like your style. Finesse coupled with ruthlessness. The Pixies could be placed into a book. I'm sure I have one around here somewhere.....
dunjim 11-06-07, 03:56 PM	I live in Scotland, and invite you to whatever games convention we end up havnig in the North-East. :P Bring wings. I might have to fight to get the wings. Not sure if I would win (middle-aged, overweight, too much coffee). The only convention I go to on a regular basis apart from the (Not-So) Well Man Clinic at my local health centre (joke) is Claymore in Edinburgh. We (the Pixie Chicks, they are going to kill me next tuesday you know) held a display RPG/zombie hunt participation carnage-fest there. If you are in the vicinity next (08) first sat in august pop in! If you have a convention....let me know. No wings.
dunjim 11-06-07, 04:33 PM	Hi. I am an openly gay man. I have a My Little Pony avatar. I would draw the line at playing a pixie. (Although I love the idea of the glitter and the wings). P.S. I tried to write off your entire encounter to drunkenness when I read you are all Scottish. I am openly heterosexual. I am also openly going bald. Thanks Phrennzy, for seeing the humour in what is pathos, rather than a some homophobic rant. Personally, I love your avatar. Mine is of a man of fire. Hang on...........that means I'm going down in flames........... p.s. How many drunken Scotsman do you see in Fresno? And if you did...how could you tell the difference? I've lived here all my life and find it difficult. I think its the water.:D
dunjim 11-06-07, 04:37 PM	Tried desperately hard not to hit the reply button....failed the willpower check. I was there! What DunJim says is true......partly. :) The truth is, in some ways, more strange. It's my garage he is talking about. - - - - I run the alternate weeks SciFi, D20 Future, zombie hunting, post apocalypse type game. Various incarnations going back 25years! Solution to Pixie problem = Sawn off shotgun. - - - - - Yes: a player did 'ask' about being a Pixie in DunJims D&D game. Yes: Pixie wings were worn last Tuesday. But..... in fairness it was only during the 'break' and there weren't enough wings to go round. (Two folks had to be content with fairy wands.) Yes: High pitched Pixie voices were involved. But...only a couple and no helium was inhaled. Yes: there was glitter. But...it was on the table left over from an earlier construction project in garage with my 4 year old daughter. A stable for 'my-little-ponies' if you must know. Yes: having an entire party of Pixies was discussed. I'll claim the Pixie Chicks idea. (Dixie Chicks album was played during break for inspiration.) Yes: there was a threat of mass suicide with the Pixie replacement characters. But...... in the it was only two players and only involved going through a door marked "everlasting happiness". (What self respecting 1/2ling mage could resist.) Next characters will (most probably) not be Pixies. - - - - - - I hope this can now draw a veil over the whole Pixie incident. Probably a delicate gossamer green veil with silk screened butterfly's and some sequins........... None of us took the Pixie-Chicks party idea seriously.... until DunJim Master raised the stakes by telling the world. Therefore........no videos on youtube. Might record and post a sample of the player with the Pixie voice impression though. It was pretty good! I think I'll leave off the signature! ErickHPingfoot, you rascal! I have the pictures. Unless 300gps are left in my account (care of Neville) I will post it here tomorrow. You have been warned....... The DM.:cool:
KillerGM 11-06-07, 04:53 PM	LMAO. I'll admit, the first thing I thought when I read the thread title was: "F'ing pixies. They TPK all the time!" Mostly, because I've found that pixies are incredibly more threatening than would first appear. But that was hilarious! I'm looking forward to pics! :D
Legdiwena 11-06-07, 04:54 PM	Wow, that's a cheap bribe.
solbergb 11-06-07, 05:42 PM	LMAO At a convention I actually did a game with an all pixie party in a homebrew and we had powers like "remember the objective" and "strong (for a pixie)" I feel really sorry for the halforc.
PhaedrusXY 11-06-07, 06:48 PM	I played a pixie once. The rest of the guys that were in that game would never let me (or anyone else) play one again. I consider it a compliment to my roleplaying skills. :D
Fly666monkey 11-06-07, 10:54 PM	......wow. You guys are sick.......I think i need to go watch Dr. Phil..... :mymy: :hides: :nonono:
blodgett 11-08-07, 11:28 AM	And to think my group want to kill my character for fireballing a tree full of the little buggers ... :clap: This is as bad as the acne cream incident (the poor dm ... never ran another campaign :noway: )
Legdiwena 11-08-07, 11:37 AM	Now I'm curious about the acne cream incident.
HermitIX 11-08-07, 12:36 PM	I am an openly gay man, my main source of transpiration has a rainbow paw on it, I have been in several gay pride parades (Washington DC, and Dallas Texas), and a party full of pixies is just too much gay for me. But room full of nine Scotsmen dressed with fairy wings… HOT!
dunjim 11-08-07, 03:14 PM	And to think my group want to kill my character for fireballing a tree full of the little buggers ... :clap: This is as bad as the acne cream incident (the poor dm ... never ran another campaign :noway: ) I'm curious Blodgett, care to share the acne incident? Regarding the fireball, personally I think thats a level-up!
Phrennzy 11-08-07, 03:39 PM	I am an openly gay man, my main source of transpiration has a rainbow paw on it, I have been in several gay pride parades (Washington DC, and Dallas Texas), and a party full of pixies is just too much gay for me. But room full of nine Scotsmen dressed with fairy wings… HOT! I neglected to comment on the hotness factor for fear of this thread going into the mature section. But I concur.
blodgett 11-08-07, 06:11 PM	Ok ... I swore I wouldn't reveal anything, but since you've asked. Pull up a chair this takes a bit of explaining. First, it was a Call of Cthlulhu module that the GM had spent months writing. Second, not a single one of our characters were rational. Third, we had been gaming for the better part of 8 or 10 hours. And yes it was a dark and stormy night (both in the game and in the real world too ...) I am about 5' 7" tall and at the time weighed all of 150 lbs, we had two other people in the group aside from the GM. (The only other person of relevance was 6' 4" and over 200 lbs.) The general premise of the module was that a company was putting ritual ingredients in their acne cream to summon local teens to their factory for nefarious purposes (I won't go into details). We had successfully followed the clues and had decided to break into the main offices of the company in question (not in the best states of mind after a few problems at a local farm that was supplying the "all natural ingredients"). After a few minor problems, we had successfully broken into the CEO's office and were unsuccessfully trying to hack his PC when the security guard came into the hall outside. In a fit of overenthusiastic role-playing I literally picked up my friend (who had a 100 lbs. and almost a foot on me) up and yelled "You don't understand! They're kidnapping people and turning them into zit cream!" After about 30 seconds or so, he asked nicely if I could put him down. It was at that moment I realized that I had actually picked him up and had him a good 6 inches in the air. Needless to say, we couldn't take the GM's module serious after that, things just kinda went down hill from there. And yes, I really did pick him up in real life and yell out. The neighbors called the cops and everything. It was amusing in a strange kinda way. :hides:
Legdiwena 11-08-07, 06:17 PM	:cookie:
dunjim 11-09-07, 03:20 PM	Thanks for sharing Blodgett!!!!:) Really enjoyed that! On a similar note.......... Many, many years ago we were playing the Drow modules, the Vault no less. One of the party, a player by the name of Scott, was playing a high elf called Hull Mithran, a 9th level fighter/killing machine. Scott had this old, blue, chipped d20. This diabolical die had the infuriating habit of coming up with the result Hull would need. This was the days of AD&D so a 20 was full damage. For once Scotland was enjoying a heatwave and we were playing in Scott's bedroom so he had the window wide open. At a critical encounter, the party, called Demon's Bane, were getting their collective ass kicked. The only thing standing between them and oblivion was Hull and his trusty +5 vorpal longsword. He charges into the melee, swinging his glowing sword in an arc of blue light, particles of fetid underworld air sizzling as the sword slices through them.......and rolls a one. "Fear not comrades..." he shouts, struggling to make himself heard over the taunts of the Drow war party to his comrades, wounded or dying on the cold cavern floor "...I'm high level mother and I've got another chance to kick ass!" Scott promptly rolls another one. The bedroom goes quiet. We all stare at the d20. (It stares back, thinking in plastic "what the f*ck are you lot staring at?") We then stare at Scott. If you have ever seen the scene in Scanners where the guy's head explodes then you will know the look on poor Scotts face. There is a second where he teeters between tears, then tips into white rage. He grabs the trusty d20 and throws it out the open window into his back garden a floor below. We sit in stunned silence. The other players quietly begin to search for the players handbook to begin rolling new characters. In the interests of sportsmanship I laugh uproariously and the Drow close in for the kill. Scott by now has realised his mistake. His trusty die is outside, all alone. He calls a time out and dashes downstairs and outside. A few second later we hear a terrible, howling scream from the garden. We rush to the window to see Scott, on his knees shaking his fists at the blue sky uttering horrid curses at the gods. His mother who was hanging out the washing was rather bemused. His neighbours, enjoying a cup of tea in quiet suburbia stare in horror. Scott's mother later told us the dice had come sailing out the window at high speed to bounce off Scott's pet tortoise's back which lived in a makeshift pen in the garden. The tortoise, which had thought it was under attack, thought f**k me and bravely retreated into its shell and the die landed on the narrow path which divided the garden in two. To Scott's horror, it had landed on a twenty. We were banned from playing at Scott's again, his poor mother never recovered. The tortoise disappeared a few weeks later under mysterious circumstances. Dunjim