Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Soloran 11-27-04, 01:16 AM	Talking is a free action during combat. Thus, we often find the BBEG trash talking the players or taunting them before they close in on each other. What were YOUR favorite BBEG dialogs before a fight? What were the circumstances (interesting setting perhaps?) and what made it so memorable? My personal favorite was when my BBEG hag started to taunt them by mentioning how "juicy" they seemed and how much salt another would need to make a tasty meal. This angered the PCs greatly and made them want to kill the demented old witch even more.
MortalPlague 11-27-04, 04:04 AM	I had a BBEG lieutenant recently; a blinded gnoll. He was extremely good at fighting without the use of sight, and he was almost a prophet for the Gnoll Chieftan. He was shouting at the PCs during his first encounter that their defeat at his hands was as inevitable as the coming of the dawn, and that he would take their heads for his master to sample. To add icing to the cake, he did bring one of the PCs down, and took his head with him when he left. :devil: They finally killed him in combat, though in that battle, two of the four PCs died outright. It was a great combat.
The_Dark_One 11-27-04, 04:12 AM	Don't know if this counts, but here goes. I'm currently writing a Cyberpunk campaign. One of the adventures involves a wealthy individual hiring the team to rescue his kidnapped daughter. The kidnappers have been letting the man talk to the "girl" (who is one of the kidnappers using an implanted voice mimicking device. The girl has been dead since shortly after she was taken). When they finally confront the BBEG, the first thing he says to them will be "Help me Daddy" in the voice of the kidnapped girl, then he will start laughing. Does that count?
Puck 11-27-04, 04:47 AM	Dark_one, thats awsome. I just got done running a Thanks Giveing game-athon, running D&D, StarWars, and Cyberpunk. I LOVE that idea, I'm going to have to use it. :evillaugh
The_Dark_One 11-27-04, 04:50 AM	I LOVE that idea, I'm going to have to use it. :embarrass Thanks. That is the nicest thing anyone has said to me all night.
l_clausewitz 11-27-04, 09:37 AM	Well, my favorite was when, in one session, the BBEG was out of words when he discovered that he and the PCs were on different sides (yes, he was dense enough to let the PCs know that before him). What did he say? "Not you again. Not like that. I didn't plan that!"
Luminous Crayon 11-27-04, 11:10 AM	Last summer I ran a city-based campaign, where the PCs had been hired to find and rescue a local senator's kidnapped six-year-old daughter; the pressure is especially on since there has also been a wave of mysterious murders in town, and everyone is worried for the girl's safety. After a lot of detective work, they eventually discovered that the girl was not actually kidnapped, but ran away, at the coaxing of her doll (which was actually a very intelligent, very evil item, and had been using the emotionally scarred child as a vehicle to help it kill. The doll's Phantasmal Killer ability was responsible for the murders.) When they finally found the girl, hiding in an abandoned warehouse, they still had no idea what was going on. This dialogue is how they found out: Girl: "Don't come close to me." PCs: "Don't worry, we won't hurt you." Mysterious Voice: "Don't come any closer to her. She is mine!" Girl, to doll: "Betty, you talked to them?!?" (getting angry) "You're only supposed to talk to me!!!" Doll: "Shut up, you stupid brat!" (Dominate Person) Girl: (Fails will save, eyes glaze over, starts running from the PCs) PCs: :uh-huh:
Board_Rider 11-27-04, 11:23 AM	Girl: "Don't come close to me." PCs: "Don't worry, we won't hurt you." Mysterious Voice: "Don't come any closer to her. She is mine!" Girl, to doll: "Betty, you talked to them?!?" (getting angry) "You're only supposed to talk to me!!!" Doll: "Shut up, you stupid brat!" (Dominate Person) Girl: (Fails will save, eyes glaze over, starts running from the PCs) PCs: :uh-huh: Now that is classic!!! Love it. The best BBEG dialogue was the one I didn't have to make. He was low level and a mage so no HP. Here I am giving out a neccessary, but utterly boring, story when one of the PCs (2 actually) let fly. Well the arrows both hit, with critical damage(DAMN), buh-bye mage.
MortalPlague 11-27-04, 06:06 PM	Aha... actually, the most memorable bit of dialogue was when the first BBEG, a necromancer was climbing a building to reach the halfling firing arrows from on top. The halfling decided to drop a quall's feather token: Swan boat on him. Mage: "SH**!" Boat: *BAM*
Kavu Overlord 11-27-04, 08:58 PM	Well, here's my play-by-play for my first BBEG. His name was Crovax, the Cursed I..errr.. borrowed him for Magic. He had kidnapped the mayor's daughter, and also had a crapload of cool weapons. Crovax: Are you here for the weapons or the girl? Pali:....Both, freak Druid: The girl.... She's a babe... Cleric: WEAPON!!!!oh....girl, I guess too Ranger: healing for my groin ( long story short, he challenged the druid's leaderish authority.) Crovax: So... *cracks knuckes*... lets get it on! Druid: You're going down, you freak that's... umm... ANTI-NATURE! Crovax: Genius, really. Basically, Crovax keeps insulting the chars as he hurls Magic Missles from the air down on their heads. Eventually, we arrowed him down _______ Crovax: so... you beat me... take your treasure and run. My guard dog will eat you alive. (He then lulls over, dead)
Aeromus 11-27-04, 09:53 PM	Davren Storm to the PC's "Really, why do you keep following me? You already know the outcome. The big in the armor there (points to party Paladin) will scream something about me being evil incarnate, needing to be cleansed of my malicous ways, and handed to the proper authorities. Then the stupid one wearing the panda fur hide jacket (party Barbarian/ranger) will scream in some unknown foriegn tongue about how he's going to "smash me to bits, and eat my heart" (Davren actually does quote signs with fingers) Then this cute elf lass will inform me that I must return the magicial teaching of the elven people, and not offer me even a slight kiss. And, of course then Lathander whipped guy over here....well he won't say anything...cause oh my god look! The suns coming up. After all that... I'll yell for my hidden army of ninja warriors to emerge and attack. You'll fight them off, and come after me on;y to realize I've flown the coup again. So...instead of wasting all that time...lets just call it a draw, and be on our way?' Of course the party didn't call it even..and his army of ninja's emerged and attacked, with him fleeing once again. Those guys still hate me for that.
Kainy 11-27-04, 11:19 PM	My favorite BBEG dialogue, I didn't DM, actually. I interrupted the DM with "I fire an arrow at him already" because the speech was WAY longer than my character was going to sit around for. If I ever had BBEGs dumb enough to monologue, I wish my players would do the same. "Well I know you're serious threats... but I'll explain myself to you in a ten-minute speech instead of doing everything I can to keep you from killing me." Ugh.
MortalPlague 11-28-04, 07:53 AM	Just used a fun one today. A pair of bugbear thugs waylaid the party on their way through a forest. The big one, named Goretusk had one eye and carried a war mace, while his smaller companion had a necklace with eyes about it, and seemed to be the leader. When things turned against his hobgoblins and goblins, he turned to run, shouting, "Stop them, my minions!" It's always fun to use some cliche lines. :D Incidentally, the PCs used 'hold person' to stop his flight, and then cut him down.
penchant 11-29-04, 04:01 AM	My best was a Spanish duelist who had focused on one character to fight. While he was not a BBEG he was the greatest challege for the character, mostly since he played to win. He started out with confusing dueling rules and led into serious insults. A few listed below. The PC was someone trying to play a fighter / mage. "What kind of swordsman are you? You lisp like a mage but blunder about like an orc!" "You disgust me, you bugger of boys! Give up now!" "You duel with me yet you cannot hide your erection. I am confused..." "A peasant cannot beat me. You are fed on pig S*** and pig slop. Your take from your lover coming and going." "You call that a sword? You grasp it as if it were your manhood! Compensating perhaps?" The player was totally unnerved and lost. He could have beaten the guy but he kept trying to Power attack him to get him back for the insults. PS. I apologize for the offensive content of this post. It is impossible however to post without such content, you piggy slime! ;)
ShadowDragon8685 11-29-04, 05:25 AM	BWAAAA-HAAAAAAH-HAAHAHAAAAHAHAAHAHAAAAAH! That's PRECIOUS, penchant. One time, my parties' BBEG (A lich who's phylactary had put him in a Kobold's body, a body that was so ill-suited to spellcasting that he was unable to cast without his phylactary in physical contact,) kept *****ing at us. We coulden't kill him, because then he might possess someone else, so we had to tie him up. We tied his butt to the wagon's wheel. And left him there while it was rolling. Man, the DM came up with such an inventive string of curses on that one... That lich had a weapons-grade vocabulary. I like the cliche five-minute monolouge before the fight. But some players like to interrupt. I'll handle this ICly. The BBEG will run off, all offended, and next time he wil actually burn spells to MAKE the PCs sit and listen to his dialouge. Prancing drama queen he be, he won't even think that while they're held like that, he could just kill them.
Zao Fato 11-29-04, 06:37 AM	When a Black Wyrm Dragon says to a party in it's Swamp Dragon "Leave Now!!!" Party Wizard "Ok" Casts Teleport (Fails because of interference) Dragon "Thats not what I meant" Two turns Later = Dead Dragon
digoraccoon 11-29-04, 09:02 AM	I had a fine moment of Dialog glory when the PCs got the drop on the chaotic witch Miluda: Miluda: "What!? You guys again? Why do you keep haunting me!?" Druid: "Well we got lost so we thought to stop by your place and chat." Fighter: "We don't know what you're up to, but we're going to stop you anyway!" Miluda: "... Wait, you mean I haven't done anything wrong, I'm just a victim of a random band of idiots?" Rogue: "Yeah, pretty much." Miluda was the only BBEG that never truely did anything 'evil' to harm anyone, but the PCs simply loved to distroy every experiment she performed and distroy every secret lab she built. In effect she was the victim. :D We had another good dialog with the BBEG "Edward Degauss", an evil cleric. He was holding up a book to his minions describing that it contained the secret incantations to summon his evil goddess to the material plane. Degauss: "I hold here this 80 page tome of ultimate power! You cannot win" Ranger: "Sure we can! Unleash Puppy power!" Favored Soul: Crits on hitting the book in Degauss' hands. The book pages burst into a could of papers. Degauss: "I still have these... four, four pages of ultimate power!"
Locus 11-29-04, 11:58 AM	Sorry if this sounds a little newbie; but can someone explain to me what the letters BBEG means? :bigeyes: I think it's kind of the main enemy, (tha boss!) Thanks anyway!
Shemeska the Marauder 11-29-04, 12:39 PM	Sorry if this sounds a little newbie; but can someone explain to me what the letters BBEG means? :bigeyes: I think it's kind of the main enemy, (tha boss!) Thanks anyway! BBEG= Big Bad Evil Guy
Knight-Triumphant 11-29-04, 01:12 PM	One of my favorite quotes wasn't against the BBEG per se, but it was still so funny. The party was trying to sneak up on a group of goblins who had been raiding nearby towns. They were encamped in a field dotted with bushes, and the party began sneaking from bush to bush, trying to retain the element of surprise. Finally they began sneaking up to ambush the goblins around their campfire. Ranger: Move silently roll: 16! Fighter(In half-plate!): Move silently roll:17! Rogue: Move silently roll: 3... Opposed listen check: 1 Me: The goblins' drunken singing was so loud, they did not hear you screaming "AMBUSH!!! AMBUSH!!!!!" Rogue: :D :w00t: :rofl:
Locus 11-29-04, 01:41 PM	BBEG= Big Bad Evil Guy Thank you.. :cheer: The BBEG was this crazy ogre (as they all are) , named Plunto the Tombraider (I know, the PC's called him Lara). He told the PC's to be aware of his stinky armpits and that hanging around with zombies didn't make the smell any better. He had the zombies for great club, and he made his own ninja sound when he puched with it :rolleyes:
Leagle 11-29-04, 01:44 PM	When things turned against his hobgoblins and goblins, he turned to run, shouting, "Stop them, my minions!" .:rofl: That's hilarious. My favourite wasn't one of mine, but somebody else's bbeg. He was not the main one, but at 9th/10th level shadow weave wizard he was extremely effective. My former master, he was of course deeply in love with my sorceress. After we had fought and driven him off once, he then started appearing in my dreams. His impassioned "join me" speech in which he desperately blurted out "I love you!" was brilliant. Eventually he secretly joined up with us (secretly meaning from the party) at the risk of losing his powers. :cool:
gorzan 11-29-04, 02:04 PM	Okay, not really a BBEG quote, but still.. Story was, two of the three characters formed the power elite in a small village on the outskirts of a large country. One of them was the village witch = druid. The last character was an angel sent to them to warn them of a great doom to come. A great deamon lord was about to unleash hell on earth (no, really).. So, of course there were weird happenings, like a shepherd's dog suddenly turning into a hell hound and killing all the sheep, and large crops suddenly withering overnight. So the druid has a great british oak tree that he has awakened, and as the party is sitting in the local tavern discussing what to do (and also wether or not to trust the Devil that proposed to help them, devils not liking demons etc etc), the tree knocks on the window, looks in, and goes all like "Frightfully sorry to disturb you sir. Forest's on fire." ..ehm, you had to be there I guess :rolleyes:
Didge 11-29-04, 03:15 PM	Well, this transaction occured during the session before last. The group of adventurers were looking for a noble's lost younger brother in a tunnel of a mine shaft, beneath an abandoned temple, beneath the sewers of a metropolis. They are sneaking through the tunnel when they can spot some light ahead. They sneak forward and I ask them to all make listen rolls. None roll high enough to hear all of the conversation, but they make out a voice that says, "I don't care what you think, do as your told and kill the children." At this point, all their careful planning goes right out the window. They sprint down the last bit of the corridor making a horendous noise (as some of them were in armor), into a large open area, where the BBEG (A Human by the name of Jarrox, wielding a Dwarven Waraxe), an ogre, and 3 Grimlocks. There are several tracked mining carts in this area, along with piles of ore. Jarrox shouts, "Kill the intruders!" and fires off a heavy x-bow which he had prepared for the intruders, drops it and walks off to the background towards the mining carts. The cleric (Farlanghan, and yes I know I spelled this wrong), monk, and barbarian all engaged the ogre, while the bard and wizard stood back to take pot shots. The grimlocks hit the cleric, but his freedom of movement went off (he had the travel domain), and the other two used dimension door to get up close to the bard and wizard. Meanwhile I described in great detail the BBEG walking slowly, methodically up to a mining cart, raising his waraxe and bringing it down inside with a sickening thud, and a spray of blood shooting up from the mining carts, then moving on to the next. The group was going nuts trying to get to the BBEG, but they soon realized that the ogre with a 10' reach and a giant club, had combat reflexes (yes, I am a sick DM, thank you), so only the monk could move through threatened squares mostly unhindered. The grimlocks didn't prove nearly as deadly as I had thought they might, and they ended up fleeing. The best part was when the group finally took out the ogre, they rushed up to the BBEG and at this point he was near another mining cart, with what appeared to be a kid bound and gagged inside the cart. He raised his axe and said, "Strike at me, and this child dies. Let us talk." Preparing a readied action. The group's cleric thinks about this a second, and decides to strike at the BBEG. Which in turn triggers the BBEG's axe, which strikes the child and another fountain of blood erupts, with the Jarrox stating, "His soul rests on your shoulders priest!". The cleric misses, and the entire group goes into the trying to strike Jarrox. The sad part is they kept missing his AC, only one time did they hit for a measly 6 points of damage. The group rolled fairly well (but not well enough), but this BBEG was designed to be a challenge if they out-right tried to duke it out. Everytime his turn came around he'd swipe at someone and tag them for damn near max damage, dishing out 17 or so a turn. This quickly added up for the whole group, and the cleric decided to try to grapple him (which was one of the ways I had forseen the group beating him). He then kept popping the cleric with AoO's, for again damn near full damage. No one wanted to see if he had combat reflexes so nobody else tried to grapple with him. The group having been severly trounced by one opponent, proceed to call for a parley. During this period, the BBEG was taunting the group, and exclaiming that they were nowhere near ready to face a warrior as skilled as he. He even laughed about the parley although he finally did conceed, because as any good BBEG, he couldn't refuse a chance to divulge some good monologue. The group finally fought to a draw (meaning they had had enough crap kicked out of them and lowered their weapons wanting to dialogue). Jarrox, who originally was a good hero and been geased into this world of evil, could opt to not attack the party, although he was sworn to defend himself and the plot of his boss, Slanthiss. So they started to talk. They discovered that Jarrox served Slanthiss, and that he could not permit them to stay, but that they could rescue the remaining children, now that slanthiss' grimlock servants had left. My players left the cavern with the rest of the children (but not the noble's younger brother, who wasn't even among the children tied up). They have nicknamed him "The immortal" because they couldn't damage him. I think this is hilarious, and they've now begun a quest to determine who Jarrox really is, and why he is untouchable in combat. Ironically, if they applied themselves, they too could reach his AC, but I'm not about to give them any more pointers.
Melpomene 11-29-04, 03:24 PM	"Frightfully sorry to disturb you sir. Forest's on fire." ..ehm, you had to be there I guess :rolleyes: I thought it was funny.
ck2001wendt 11-29-04, 03:57 PM	Before bringing his mace down on our Diplomacy Master (who was trying to talk the opposing party out of fighting us), the Dark Cleric of Bane shouted "The only lanaguage we speak is Power!" Of course, there is always the famous Ozymandis speech from Watchmen: "Do it? I'm not some RKO serial villain, Dan. I did it thirty minutes ago..."
TLomon 11-30-04, 01:08 AM	A bit of background. The BBEG ended up being a player that... made some interesting life changing decisions. He became a lich. The first thing he did was animate a graveyard of undead. The second, he marched his undead to raid a town armory. When we met up, this dialog occurred. Me: So, I have to ask. Why did your zombies attack the town armory? Him: No self respecting zombie of mine is going to go around unequipped! Still cracks me up to this day.
Solidcobra 11-30-04, 03:57 AM	One PCs child was kidnapped by the BBEG. They storm into his evil sanctuary, the rolls were with them, they slaughtered his underlings... he raises a knife towards the kid and goes "Let's talk this over." A succubus comes in and gives them cookies and tea ("sugar? milk?"), they eat and drink, discussion, they are willing to give him almost ALL their loot for the kids life. (Little girl, BTW). BBEG: "Hmm... but if i kill you, i'd just take it from your bodies. So... how about no?". Switch to weapon of choice (greataxe. :-D) And plants it in the kids chest. Fight, BBEG resurrects kid as a zombie, PCs all try not to harm the body, he flees. The PCs did not like him very much. I yet have to see a group so angry and willing to kill someone in cold blood. Week later they found him. BBEG: "Wait! I give up!" PC (Parent in question) :".....how about no". CDG. ahh, the joy of making players mad.
Cantankerous 11-30-04, 08:02 AM	The PC's had become embroiled in a tale of death, betrayal and extortion where they found, after a long and exhaustive investigation, conclusive proof that a Prince of the Blood of the nation that they were based out of had become possessed by an "evil entity" and had been killing his older bretheren (four of the five by the time the Prince was uncovered and forced to flee) and many of the other members of the cadet branches of the family as well and placing the blame on an old family enemy, with evidence showing that this enemy was trying to exterminate the line entirely. The assassinations increased in complexity and scope and the players, who had started with level 3-5 characters when the plot line began, were levels 9-12 by the time. They were a Paladin*10 of Anu, a dual classed Fighter7/Mage10, a Cleric*9 of Anu and Bard*12. A very tough and savvy bunch In the 2E game, that was the point when PC's began thinking about setting themselves up in the political scheme of things, the point where henchmen and followers started showing up and the characters who were building strongholds would be looking for ways to get it done. You just couldn't build a stronghold where-ever, the local magnates took such things poorly, since really all land, even waste lands and scrub, was technicly under the claim of someone, usually a great magnate, the King most often. So if you were going to become a landed gentry, you NEEDED political support and connections. Too, it was almost UNTHINKABLE in that society to disobey the King in anything. Too, he had been the one who had put the PC's on the case (back when they were about 7-8th levels) officially in the first place, thus his command to cease the investigation would OFFICIALLY close the case, period. Before that they had been involved through happenstance. You've had a good run. I never expected you to survive the flight of the wyverns. I never expected you to survive the pair of Shal Ad (a home brew type of greater Baatezu) and I certainly didn't expect you to make it even half way across the White Desert (filled with death traps and hostile tribesmen) before death found you. You've proved to be worthy adversaries. Better, you've proved yourself loyal subjects. For now I reveal to you that I am not my son, Meavandor, I am King Jadeth himself. Your investigation ends here. I, your King, command it. Each of you shall receive patents of nobility, and you, my faithful Hraduk, shall become the Marshall of my Armies. Come Hraduk, swear upon the very sword I presented you, accept your King's commands and prove again your loyalty once and for all. Now, patents of nobility in this game were rarer than hen's teeth. These were old, long settled lands, not the type where adventurers could ever really hope for noble titles unless they married into them, and all four of the PC's were already monogmausly married. The title of Marshall, offered to the Paladin, was a dream. It carried the equivalent of a Baronial title and lands and most importantly great position and influence for the Church of Anu, which had fallen out of the main spotlight and was being shouldered aside by the younger and more aggressive worship of Baal. The Church of Baal was LN w/LE tendencies in this game and the Paladial Church of Anu dispised the Baalites. Upstaging them would have been a massive gain for the church. And too, even if they exposed what he had done, the best they could hope for was to be sheltered by the Church of Anu from the King's vengence. THAT in and of itself might have caused the Church of Baal to officially be able, by the "Divine Grant of the King" to displace the Church of Anu as the state Church. The young guy who played the Paladin was sitting back in his chair rocked. This was his first campaign with us and he tended to be timid with us, even if his Paladin was well played IC as a strongly vocal advocate of the Church and detractor of the Church of Baal. You could see the player saw all the implications. Doing as the king commanded would not have been an evil act, although it would have skated the line since murder was involved, indeed, multiple murders. It would have been a chaotic act, even in obeying the King's authority since covering all the illegalities that lead to that point was implicit in it. He would have to atone if he obeyed, but the Church would gain immeasurably. His ascendency to the rank of Marshall though would give the Church he served back the influence in the court that they had lost over the last decade; and then some. Also, the sword was a relic of the Church of Anu that the King had given to the Paladin, thus restoring it to the Church as well, which was as signifigant a recognition as they had received from the King for a decade at least. ***Hraduk, the Blessed, glanced up at the Armiger of Anu, who was pale faced and unresponsive, praying for guidance, and not looking back; then he squared his shoulders and took two steps towards the King. He drew his sword and held it between his clenched and mail clad fists, one end just above the hilt and one end at the tip, as though to present it, then with all his strength and with all his faith, he snapped it across one heavily mailed knee and cast the pieces at the King's feet.*** Receive the tie that bound me to such infamy. I will investigate no longer, but I will, I swear it by Anu, never rest from my attempts to see an end to your tyrany and your murders. *** Striding quickly away he went to the end of the Hall and waited there for his companions to make their decisions.*** I have seldom been so proud of a young player. Paladins are damned hard to play even in this edition, they were even tougher in 2E when the rules on alignments and what constituted good and evil, law orn chaos, were stricter, but seldom had I seen a more Paladial act of disobedience, a more beautifully rendered Paladin's choice in the face of temptation. It was grand. Isshia
e-z0r 11-30-04, 11:24 AM	Damn man.. I want to play in one of your campaigns...
penchant 11-30-04, 11:50 AM	I second that motion! Intrigue, murder, betrayal... it's so Macbeth!
Prachett 11-30-04, 01:13 PM	This is one of those had to be there one's, but here goes... A group of 4 Githyanki wre after a book the PCs had. PCs didn't know what it really was and were kinda scared and ****** off that the Gothyanki were after them. The Githyanki had planeshifted into the town they were in and the leader said in my my best raspy voice.... "Give me the book Primelander!" Battle ensued and the book proceeded to go hopping from PC to PC as they were getting their butts kicked. The BBEG kept yelling "the book, primelanders!" And it got more esaperated and raspy as my voice wore out. Finally, two of the more clever PCs grab the book and run up a flight of stairs as the 1st floor disentegrates in a fireball. Gith give chase. PCs then empty a heward's handy haversack and a bag of holding. I am puzzled and tired at this point. Then the one PC yelled at the top of his lungs (literally): "What this book!?!?!?" and dropped it in the sack, the other guy then dropped the sack into the bag - poof book gone in a flash. I pause a long time, as the Gith do, then finally, the leader looks at the PC and slowly says shaking his head, "A-hole" and they planeshift away. Had to be there.
Cantankerous 11-30-04, 04:41 PM	Damn man.. I want to play in one of your campaigns... I second that motion! Intrigue, murder, betrayal... it's so Macbeth! I thank you both sincerely. There is no praise so sweet to hear than that of ones peers. Isshia
ShadowDragon8685 11-30-04, 05:12 PM	*clap. clap. clap. clap. clap.* Cantankerous - awesome. Just awesome. Though I think I might have said... "My investigation ends here..." *Sword swings up.* "With your death, my liege!" Chopped his head, then snapped the sword. "May you rot in hell, sir."