Post/Author/DateTime	Post
DoctorRomulus 04-04-05, 01:48 PM	As a break from “serious” role-playing I’ve decided that until my “sexist” campaign is complete I’ll be running a very unserious game. What I need from you guys is a little help with an acronym for the bad guys organization of the fantasy world in question. First off I call it E.V.I.L., an organization of which all major and not so major bad guys and their minions are dues paying, card carrying members. So far I have: E.V.I.L. – Every Villain In the Land And E.V.I.L. – Exemplary Villainy and Insidiousness League. Remember this is supposed to be humourous. Think Army of Darkness meets Austin Powers meets Briscoe County, Jr. Any ideas to flesh out E.V.I.L. will be greatly appreciated.
Abulafia 04-04-05, 01:54 PM	Every card has a different acronym. No one seems to agree on what it stands for. When asked, they will inevitably get huffy and say "Who cares! We're EVIL! Get it?"
DoctorRomulus 04-04-05, 02:01 PM	Every card has a different acronym. No one seems to agree on what it stands for. When asked, they will inevitably get huffy and say "Who cares! We're EVIL! Get it?" That’s funny. I might just use it. Keep em coming.
Timespike 04-04-05, 02:13 PM	Have them all wear funny "secret hats" that make them stick out like sore thumbs.
smaugchow 04-04-05, 02:23 PM	Especially Vile & Inhuman League Eager, Voracious, Insatiable, Lustful Excessivelty Violent Infatuation with Lacerations Excessively Violent Insane Loonies Exterminate, Vaporize, Immolate and Liquidate Extra Venomous and Intensely Lucky Have them get together and pose and posture about who is "evil-er" than the other. Maybe have the party get caught up between two of them and let them escape because the 2 bad guys get caught up in what extra-terrible thing they will do to them.... BBEG1: I'll boil them in lark's vomit! BBEG2: That's nothing! I'll hang them upside down and dunk them in an Otyugh pit! BBEG1: Child's play! I'll flay them alive and drag them through the desert of Dooooooooooom! BBEG2: Amature! I'll auction off their body parts on Ebay! BBEG1: Don't make me laugh! I'll set them on fire and put them out with.....hey, where'd they go? Have the party track down a BBEG while on vacation. As in, he isn't BBEG while on vacation and he'll get ******. "I'll file a grievance with the union!" Give them all strange catch phrases: "Time to die!" "Evil never fails to not Triumph!" "It's torturin' time!" "Ooh, thcary advenuterth!" (with a lisp) "Well, spank my quasit and call me a gynosphinx!" "Asmodeus ain't got s&^$ on me!" "Prepare to feast on my Balls of Doom!" (fireballs) etc. Have a really incompetent bad guy whose plans always backfire horribly. He tries to help the BBEGs and winds up saving the party, much to the comic dismay of the BBEGs. Have a crazy wildmage who is SO crazy and SO wild that he can't even speak. He just spits and hoots and growls and makes faces and whatnot (think Monty Python's "Tim" but times 10.) Half the time he forgets who to attack or why he was attacking. Easily distracted by shiny objects. Have an effeminite lich who likes show tunes. He captures the party, puts them in dresses and makeup and makes them dance and sing. He'll force a Helm of Opposite Gender of the most "butch" PC then let them go. Have one villain be a budding surgeon who likes to graft kobold heads onto things. Like PC's. Have one villain be truly dead, but he was so powerful in life that the rest of E.V.I.L. assumes he is a lich/demilich and they still try to curry his favor. He is finally abnd absolutely dead but still sits rotting in his chair at the table. Sometimes when something goes wrong, they assume it's him and that they are on his bad side. I think a lot of my ideas seem funny mainly if we get some kind of view into the council chamber where all the BBEG's converge to talk about evil stuff.
Sorel 04-04-05, 03:37 PM	Excellent Virtuous Inflators of Love Hey, an evil guy's gotta get affirmation somewhere. Exquisite Virile Inistigators of Larceny Dang handsome thieves Or maybe there are TWO E.V.I.L.s, one good and one evil. "So, are you the good evil or the evil evil?" "The good evil." (WHACK!) "Hey!" "I told you I was evil...." "yeah, the good kind...." "Hmmm, oh, I see. I guess what I meant is that I'm good at it."
SearcherOmega 04-04-05, 03:56 PM	Extravagant Villany & Industrialized Lunacy Enterprises Vigorously Insured & Licensed Envying Viably Intelligent Lunatics Electric Vibrometer Instigation Locomotion PC: "What does that have to do with your jobs?" :confused: Archvillian: "Who cares?! I'm EVIL!" :mad:
Ekranoplan 04-04-05, 04:10 PM	Eduardo's Vile and Insidious L331zors Also, the main bad guy should be vulnerable to blow fish poison.
Plastik 04-04-05, 06:22 PM	I have aa game for you to go and get. Go to your local PC game shop, and pick up No One Lives Forever, and if possable, the sequel too. Together they might set you back $20. The game world is filled with humor (both morbid and not) from both sides. Here, I'll give examples: The good organization is called UNITY, and the bad is HARM. Neither acronym gets properly defined in the gme. Actually, in one of the first rooms in the first game, a UNITY banner says what it means, but I don't remember. Anyway, they work in subtle innuendo over the amiguousness of the HARM acronym, going so far as to have a document on a table in one of the levels containing a paper with a note about subpar performance, ending with "Let's not forget what HARM stands for". It's awesome. Also, in one of the last buildings, you face a concrete bridge over a shark-infested pit. As you start to cross the bridge (it spans about 40 ft) walls raise on either side of the bridge, and each is adorned with a huge smiley face and the words "You are in HARM's way. Have a nice day!". Then the bridge starts to retract into the ground on either side. (DM's cue - muhahahahahahaha) Then there's the AWESOME ambient converstions. If you sneak around and don't disturb people, you'll hear HARM agents speaking about benefits packages, new uniforms, and nationality. At one point on a train in the countryside, a generic European HARM agent is speaking to an American HARM agent, and the American calls the European a Moron. The European turns around and says (with a perfectly delivered voice) "Did you just call me a Mormon?" "Uh, no." "I could have sworn you called me a mormon. Hey, do you have something aganst mormons?" So yeah, that's awesome. In a cutscene, you see two subleaders of HARM (An overeight irishman and a bavarian opera singer) talking. They obviously do not get along. The Irishman insults the way the Opera singer dresses. She retorts with jabs at his drinking. By the end of te encounter He's screaming "FATTY FATTY FATTY!" with his cigar dangling out of his mouth and she's muttering "Drunk!" Here's another one: Soldier 1: We need to move faster! Soldier 2: But we only have one helicopter! Soldier 1: Then get another one! Soldier 2: Yeah sure, i'll go make one out of soda cans and popsicle sticks! And yet another: Merchant: You look like you need a Monkey. HARM Agent: Excuse me? Merchant: I have a very fine monkey for you. Only twenty dollars, American. Agent: Sorry, I don't want a monkey. Merchant: What do you mean? Agent: I don't want a monkey (angry) Merchant: Why not? Agent: (****** now) BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE MONKEYS, NOW GET THAT FILTHY BEAST AWAY FROM ME! Merchant: (insulted) ARE YOU INSULTING MY MONKEY? Agent: I'm sure it's a perfectly excellent monkey, but I don't want it. Now please leave, I'm very busy. Merchant: Ten dollars. Agent: NO! I wouldn't want that dreadful thing even if it were free! Merchant: FREE? You want my children to starve? Agent: If they're hungry, I suggest you feed them the monkey. Merchant: THIS IS A VALUABLE MONKEY! My wife would kill me if she knew I was offering it to you so cheap. Agent: You don't seem to understand. I don't want a monkey. Merchant: Infidel. The game is amazing. Also, add ambience to your setting by having notices scattered throughout your world. Things about normal stuff, the stuff that you smile about when the enemies do it, like making donuts. Example: DM: You see a piece of the paper on the floor. Thur: I'll exmine it! DM: It appears to be a note. Thur: I'll read it! DM: You read: Dearest Aathgar, I care not what you say. With those damnable fools going around, I will not be caught DEAD in an apron. I'm cooking in armor tomorrow, or the whole company will be going without food. It's an indecency to make us patrol in these small, easy to kill bands to search out the enemies. I mean, isnt it logical to just send out a hoarde to corner them? I don't care about financing, I just want a bigger group. Do you hve any idea what these murders are doing to my health insurance? -Kurgar See? Awesome, or a close approximation. Also, I came up wit a cool BBEG warcry: It's not worth running. You'll just die tired.
kliate 04-04-05, 06:38 PM	-Elves Violating Integral Law -Entity of Violet Illithid Lawyers -External Visage of Internal Licentiousness -Extreme Villains In Leotards -Entertainers Vouching for Incandescent Lamps -Expatriate Villains Investigating, Limited
Alynn 04-04-05, 06:56 PM	Eternally Vile, In Leiderhosen (sp?) Evil Vegans In Love Elven Villians Inner Limits Eat Veal, Incite Lust The good guys could be called L.I.V.E. the opposite of E.V.I.L.
Vharuck 04-04-05, 07:48 PM	Eradicators of the Very Idea of Life (or Love) Everyone's Very Insipid Losers
JadeSpider9643 04-04-05, 07:54 PM	Everyone Vomits In Limbo Every Villian Is Lucky Extreme Vengence Is Life (St Cuthburt followers?) Eating Vegatables Is Ludicrous Ettins Vibrate If Licked
mystic1110 04-04-05, 07:58 PM	from a cartoon i saw with my littel brother come... EVER VILLIAN IS LEMONS :devil:
Vharuck 04-04-05, 08:03 PM	Ettins Vibrate If Licked :eek: Mature boards, people! Mature boards!
Lord Ian Stark 04-04-05, 09:57 PM	:eek: Mature boards, people! Mature boards! Pipe down your censoring idiocy! :P Don't forget to have the E.V.I.L. group say "Evil is better than Good, because Good is just dumb."
SnowbearK 04-04-05, 11:45 PM	Have one villain be truly dead, but he was so powerful in life that the rest of E.V.I.L. assumes he is a lich/demilich and they still try to curry his favor. He is finally abnd absolutely dead but still sits rotting in his chair at the table. Sometimes when something goes wrong, they assume it's him and that they are on his bad side. :rofl: I'll be sending you the bill for cleaning: one (1) 27" LCD flatpanel monitor; one (1) wireless keyboard; one (1) wireless mouse; and $3 punitive damage for the draining of one nosefull of chocolate milkshake. Oh, and you also owe me one (1) nestle chocolate milkshake. In lieu of payment however, I will gladly take this idea for my next D20 Modern adventure. Your compliance is appreciated. :D
Falkus 04-05-05, 12:49 AM	First off I call it E.V.I.L., an organization of which all major and not so major bad guys and their minions are dues paying, card carrying members. So far I have: Dimitri Volkov, Executive Director of H.A.R.M, from No One Lives Forever 2: 'H.A.R.M stands for causing harm, and don't forget it, or I'll strangle you with your own severed tongue.'
DoctorRomulus 04-05-05, 07:24 AM	These are all great you guys. Thanks. I especially like the one about the dead BBEG that all the other BBEG's are afraid of even though he's dead. If I make this a campaign one of the PC's might figure out he's dead and "kill" him again. I think that might intimidate the other BBEG's. Whadaya thiink??
CzarGarrett 04-05-05, 09:19 AM	These are all great you guys. Thanks. I especially like the one about the dead BBEG that all the other BBEG's are afraid of even though he's dead. If I make this a campaign one of the PC's might figure out he's dead and "kill" him again. I think that might intimidate the other BBEG's. Whadaya thiink?? "You didn't defeat me, you defeated my Exact Twin Brother!"
JakeQuistis 04-05-05, 09:35 AM	Wouldn't it be funny if the PCs thought he really was dead, and then when they attempted to kill him, he rose up, saying he had a nice nap?
smaugchow 04-05-05, 01:40 PM	:rofl: I'll be sending you the bill for cleaning: one (1) 27" LCD flatpanel monitor; one (1) wireless keyboard; one (1) wireless mouse; and $3 punitive damage for the draining of one nosefull of chocolate milkshake. Oh, and you also owe me one (1) nestle chocolate milkshake. In lieu of payment however, I will gladly take this idea for my next D20 Modern adventure. Your compliance is appreciated. :D Glad I could help! I got more, though probably not as good. One villain is a werewolf or other lycanthrope but is easily distracted by Scooby snacks/thrown sticks/scratcing his belly/etc. One villain is a Demon trapped in the body of a bird. Glowing evil eyes, demonic chirp (I wonder what that sounds like...). Every campaign needs a fire-breathing titwillow, right? One villain is mainly concerned about how he looks and sounds. He will monologue and try to act all villainous, but then he thinks of a better line and asks the party to go back out so he can try again as they enter. See Jim Carey in "Unfortunate Events." One villain is still trying to find his "voice." One time he'll be all "Sith Lord" and then he'll go goth, then later he'll try the blackguard armor. Every time he'll ask the PCs if they are scared or not, he'll complain about something (this armor is really uncomforatable - will you stay scared if I take it off?) and slip in and out of "character" all the time. One villain is a prophet of Jubilex. Supremely gross, the guy reeks, has lice/bugs, farts, burps, etc. None of the other villains wants to work with him but he is the union steward so they have to put up with him. :D Sometimes the villains have to rob/steal just to pay union dues. Heros: You may not have this strong box - it is the rightful taxes due the kingdom! BBEG: Look, it's not liek I'm killing anybody here - I just need the jack! Heros: Begone, foul beast! BBEG: Now that's just hurtful. DO you think I don't realize what a fashion nightmare all this black can be? Black is an accent color, not an entire wardrobe! Heros: Run for your life, villain! BBEG: Have you ever tried to run in one of these big flowing robes? It's a nightmare. Look, how about we split it - 50/50. I realy don't want the priest of Jubilex coming for a visit, you know? There are some villains who are too weak/petty/gross/whatever to get into EVIL. Maybe they are called NASTY or VILE or ICKY or NAUGHTY something. One villain is a pervert. This one depends on the maturity of your group. He/she likes the chain-mail bikini and shirtless barbarian thing. Maybe as they watch a big fight they will destroy their own minions for attacking the party member thay have a crush on. They have lots of Boris Valejo style paintings in their lair. One villain is ocasionally the real villain's teenage son who got into dad's wardrobe and took his Evil Outfit out for a spin. One villain is supremely powerful (strong, damage resistant, spell resistant) but so dumb that he can be incapacitated by a riddle or brain teaser.
Astinex 04-05-05, 02:16 PM	One villain is a werewolf or other lycanthrope but is easily distracted by Scooby snacks/thrown sticks/scratcing his belly/etc. I have to give Kudos on this. It may not be that funny to some, but when I read it I got this mental picture of a vicious snarling werewolf closing in for the kill... suddenly a stick flies by and the werewolf's head snaps to see where it landed with a curious dog wimper, "urrr?"
CzarGarrett 04-06-05, 10:37 AM	If the players are familiar with it, make sure your BBEG breaks nearly all the rules of the Evil Overlord list.
Twin2 04-06-05, 10:57 AM	Have on BBEG love to monologue, literally insisting on doing it whenever he has the chance. There's just one little problem he has narcolepsy, (PCs captured and about to be put into elaborate death trap) BBEG: HAha now I have you, without your pretty little toys a fate awaits you so horrible that you will pray to never have been born. Muhahahahah I shall enjoy watching every moment of the symphony of pain that you are about to experience at the hands of .....ZZZZzzzzz*snore*zzzZZZz Gaurd1: Ohhh not again.... Gaurd2: Damn it what is this the sixth time this has happened??? Screw it I'm not waking him up you do it.
Deacon Liadon 04-06-05, 11:21 AM	I have to give Kudos on this. It may not be that funny to some, but when I read it I got this mental picture of a vicious snarling werewolf closing in for the kill... suddenly a stick flies by and the werewolf's head snaps to see where it landed with a curious dog wimper, "urrr?" PC's throw a lit firework…"Fetch!" Oh, and as a setting for this campaign…Munchkin d20 anyone?
Alynn 04-06-05, 11:29 AM	PC's throw a lit firework…"Fetch!" Oh, and as a setting for this campaign…Munchkin d20 anyone? Throw a delayed blast fireball, "Fetch the ball boy!" *Chomp* BOOM! Opps I spit out my own coffee.
smaugchow 06-15-05, 04:25 PM	just a bump. I thought this thread was hilarious.
Shadowmagyk 06-15-05, 04:56 PM	To the OP, I know that you wanted acronyms for E.V.I.L., but I do have a scenario for you that is very unserious, but still workable. it is a little sick, but it is funny. Check out the link in my signature. I scored 35.75 out of 50 in the MDMC, so that is average, but it is still great!
Liwmial 06-15-05, 06:44 PM	Have one villain be truly dead, but he was so powerful in life that the rest of E.V.I.L. assumes he is a lich/demilich and they still try to curry his favor. He is finally abnd absolutely dead but still sits rotting in his chair at the table. Sometimes when something goes wrong, they assume it's him and that they are on his bad side. Too funny! Ala weekend at bernie's.
Janusunaj 06-15-05, 07:05 PM	Every Vixens Ickiest Loves.
OctoberRaven 06-15-05, 07:14 PM	"Borrow" the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail for an early encounter. Have every hit they make cut off one of the guy's limbs. In fact, theres a lot of great stuff you borrow from the movie. Make sure you tweak some stuff just in case your players have seen the flick. E.V.I.L.= Ed, Vampires are In the Lobby Energy Vacuum Is Lemons English? Victory In Lebanese! Everyone Visit the Inevitables' Lair Erythnul and Vecna In Love ( :mymy: )
Always-Late 06-15-05, 08:05 PM	Or, if you really wanted, you could name the organization Evil eVil evIl eviL. When asked, they say they wanted to be four times as evil.
Nurgan_the_drunked 06-16-05, 08:22 AM	"We're not a crazed organisation bent on world domination, we just sell Exquisite Villas In Luxembourg Edith's Violets, Indigoes and Lilies Extraneous Volumes of Interesting Lore The armed guards and laser satelite? Do you know how savage the flower trade is?" Some ideas: The villains keep getting into trouble with animal rights groups for keeping sharks/ tigers etc. in inhumane conditions. The rights group are really ardent about preveting this cruelty, but couldn't care less about their world domination plans Incompetent riddlers: "You want to find my base, then riddle me this: What happens if you take south road out of town for about five miles, turn left at the station....." Phone calls from friends/ family about mundane things, when we're expecting commands for big plans Goon temping agencies/ work experience goons/ goon training courses/ job offers for goons. Well-trained and experienced goons, of course, wouldn't notice a jumbo jet fly past, drop with a single hit, and make an impressive scream when flung through a window. Villain concepts have to be reasonably unique, so you can't have two guys who're both spiced up computer hackers or two evil clowns. Have two show up at once and come to blows over the fact.
Nimbus 06-16-05, 03:12 PM	just a bump. I thought this thread was hilarious. That is scary, I was just thinking of doing that myself last night. Extreamely Vile but Incompatant Loonies? Whould most likely be what the good guys call them.