Post/Author/DateTime	Post
sherretz 04-21-05, 09:15 AM	1. "Did anyone hear a 'click'?" 2. "Don't worry, he said he's here to help." 3. "Who are you kidding? No wizard in his right mind would put a trap *here*"
Morwen 04-21-05, 09:42 AM	4. "Let's split up" 5. "Follow the 6 int half-orc Barbarian!"
sherretz 04-21-05, 10:30 AM	6. "I thought you had ranks in Disable Device." 7. "Gosh, it's hot in here."
Kainsin 04-21-05, 10:36 AM	8. "Who knows which way we're supposed to go?" 9. "Oops." 10. "What's this do?"
robertliguori 04-21-05, 11:02 AM	"Yeah, well, eat me." "You can just bite me." "Oh, please, look at him. He's frigging venerable. One good sword swing and he'll be in pieces." "Alright, we'll start by casting a stilled silent dominate person on the king."
sherretz 04-21-05, 11:10 AM	"Hey guys? Where did everybody go?" "Your mother was a Troglodite!" DM: There's a river running through this cavern PC: Great! I jump in! "I cast fireball" "Look out! Fireball!!!!" "It's a potion of firebreathing. Really. I'll show you."
Anthus_Longblade 04-21-05, 11:19 AM	20. "Let's keep it!"
Maryk_Keiros 04-21-05, 11:21 AM	"LOOK! THE WATERS SHAKING!" "Ooh... a GP!" "Now let me stick my hand in this whole, and i'll see what's inside..." "I think it's dead!" "It's like Jell-O!!!"
Hochiu 04-21-05, 11:48 AM	"Hey! Bard! Get behind cover or else-" Bard gets blasted for an 84 dmg fireball from a great wyrm red dragon.
caeruleus 04-21-05, 12:17 PM	"Sounds like a good idea to me." "I mean, really, what's the difference between gnomes and kobolds?"
MaxDog 04-21-05, 12:25 PM	"I'm OK. It won't get another AoO 'cause it doesn't have Combat Reflexes."
Alcari Ambaron 04-21-05, 01:06 PM	WAHOO.. a thread i once made being revived...i'll just post the link HERE (http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=402932) and copy some 30 We can take them all out 31) of course i can jump that canyon 32) this looks like a trap 33) it's easy, i just turn the lever this way and... 34) this looks like the perfect place for an ambush 35) no, i'll be fine without healing 36) jump what way? 37) i don't see any duck 38) you guys keep going, i'll check over here
Gryllmyre 04-21-05, 01:14 PM	39) The big guy is dead, go ahead and release his prisoners.
sherretz 04-21-05, 01:47 PM	40) DM: You see a fountain, and it's water is glowing mysteriously Player: I push <another PC> into the fountain 41) "Guys, don't worry, I've got a +15 to Tumble/Jump" 42) "I don't think we should go this way" 43) "I use my Wand of Wonder"
wordserpent 04-21-05, 04:42 PM	44) (PC holding up a deck of many things) "Pick a card, any card..." 45) (PC to a dwarven Caravan Master who is looking to hire some guards) "So I hear You're short people?" 46) "If we keep making left turns we won't get lost."
Fargren 04-21-05, 05:09 PM	47)"Wizard, stop talking giberish or i'll frgging shoot you!!" 48)"We can't identify the sword? What the heck, let's try it out" 49)"I open the door" 50)"If you can't find an entrance, make one: energy line(sonic) at the roof!"(check psionic powers on the SRD mif you don't get this one)
MarkB 04-21-05, 05:26 PM	"Will save DC15? Heh, my bonus is +16, I can't possibly fail-" "He's a Cleric, how would he know Spell Turning?" "What do you mean, radius isn't the same as diameter?"
Fargren 04-21-05, 07:14 PM	54)"He sneaks me for HOW much damage!?" 55)"What's the CR on that thing!?" 56)"Come on, we've killed a lot of dragons. We surellyt can take one more down" 57)"Wait, weren't ilithids like green litle things with tiny wepons!?!?!"
fallabel 04-21-05, 07:31 PM	58) DM: You throw the bread in (to the 30 foot square pit full of "water"). It doesn't splash as it sinks down. PC: The Jump DC for that is only 30, so I make a running jump to get across (rolls, fails) DM: You fall in just 5 feet short of the other side. The Gelatinous Cube starts digesting you.
IceStella 04-21-05, 07:48 PM	59 - Hello I'm a little lost Orc, let me innnnnnn! This was said by an elf wizard, in common (though with an Orcish accent) to a fortress full of Orcs. Seconds later his broken body was lying dead in front of the building. Funnily enough, we had a Half-Orc Barbarian in the party, he kept his mouth shut though.
NinjaNed 04-21-05, 09:28 PM	60) "this guy probably has a really bad will save" 61) "of course i didn't fail my knowledge arcana check." 62) "we'll do fine without a cleric in the party" 63) "what do you mean, make a fortitude save?"
GaffeR 04-21-05, 09:32 PM	64) Watch this!
Piff 04-21-05, 09:36 PM	65) Only a god could of survived that attack. 66) Hey stupid dragon! guess who has your hoard of gold!
TheUnknownZombie 04-21-05, 09:46 PM	67) I'll be fine as long as I don't roll a one...
Big Tom 04-21-05, 11:00 PM	I hit on a 2-up. we're out of range. All I got left is 3 level 1 spell slots, don't matter, we're good for today. I can't miss. This is too easy. I coulda sworn I put that down there.
Sarella Starshine 04-22-05, 12:17 AM	74) not in the face!! (well, he didnt get hit in the face)
Alakar 04-22-05, 12:54 PM	Here, I'll hold the idol. Which god carries a scythe? Why not open it? It can't be that hard. Relax guys, i've got fireball. Its just a goblin. Hey, he has pelors symbol, its cool guys, he's with us. A flaming whip and a sword, is that it? It's just 10 d6 points of damage, sheesh.
Herald@Large 04-22-05, 07:03 PM	I *think* we're at: 84) CHARGE! 85) Why is our torch burning blue? 86) I push the red button, then the blue one. No, wait, the other way around! *boom* 87) I sneak up and pick the vampire's pocket.
Deflare 04-23-05, 01:11 AM	88) *shouting* HEY, GUYS, THE DRAGON'S ASLEEP! 89) The dragon won't notice one item missing from is hoard, will he? I just finished reading the Draconomicon. Can you tell?
The Stray 04-23-05, 03:40 AM	I can't resist...:D DM: Ok, the goblin encampment doesn't seem to have noticed you yet. Make Move Silently checks to skirt around them. Player 1: I got a 21 Player 2:I got a 17 Player 3:I got a 25 Player 4:I got a 4!!!!
Uberman 04-23-05, 07:53 AM	*Double post*
Uberman 04-23-05, 07:54 AM	"Sh*t" "Dont' worry, the DM won't throw anythign hard at us, we're only lvl 1." "Don't worry, it's just a kobold.." "Don't worry, I know Teleport" Actually, just about any sentence starting with the words "don't worry"
CJDragon 04-23-05, 08:05 AM	94) PC 1: OK guys, don't pull the stakes out of the corpses because if they are vampires they'll come back to life.... PC 2: I pull out a stake, it could be handy.... 95) Its only 8 orcs, they're CR 1/2 or something. We can take 'em 96) Ok, i'm going to jump over PC1 and the orc he's fighting, through the doorway behind them, into combat with the other orc. I'm a halfling, so whats the DC to jump that far without AoO? Ohh, don't worry, i'll try it anyway 97) (just after one above) Why didn't you heal me? So there were 7 orcs that you would have provoked AoO from, you could have taken the damage! 98) (We found a floating eye on a pedastal.... In a temple of Veccna... Heavily guarded... and glowing in a magical light) "I attack the eye"
Fargren 04-23-05, 09:23 AM	99)Just think about all the xp/gold will get!! 100)His neck is not with my+78 defender holly keen scythe. Igrab the rapier.What?, it's a great quality one! Notice i've got both the 50º and 100º frases :D
Pippa 04-23-05, 02:02 PM	101. Our half-orc fighter/bard, after having - alone - entered the downmost chamber of a mausoleum, featuring lots of blood, a little sleeping girl chained to the wall and a couple of tombs, and having found somebody with a suit and a cape asleep in one of them: - "I lift his upper lip to see if he's got fangs!"
Jeremiah DeathFist 04-23-05, 02:50 PM	102) Frreeeeeddooomm!!!!!!! 103) A gem? I grab it! Huzzah!
Light of Day 04-24-05, 05:04 PM	104. DM: What do you mean, you're all playing bards?!?! 105. I open the door then immediatly shoot a fireball in! (Room turns out to be 5ft x 5ft)
sherretz 04-25-05, 08:13 AM	106. I open the door and rush in. (I did this at our last session, and nearly ran headlong into a stone wall on the other side of the door.) 107. Now that I've found the Elven town, I want to find a girlfriend. 108. We risked our lives to help that cleric [of Wee Jas] with his problem. He owes us.
Worguron 04-25-05, 10:15 AM	Note - The following is in a custom setting with advanced magic/technology. My party has been hired to find out what has been causing cargo ships to disappear, find the crews, and return with them and their ships. We arrange things so our ship gets hijacked with us hiding in a smuggling compartment (believe me, the Star Wars jokes were incessant). Later, we are walking through what appears to be a living facility, possibly an extremely large ship. The Thri-Kreen barbarian looks into an open door and sees four illithids standing inside (noone in the setting has encountered illithids before) - Hey, there are four Octopussy guys in here. (He is then dominated and kills the party monk.) A short while (read, 6 mind flayers, 3 humans with rifles, and a giant) later, the party, now monkless, is standing in a corridor with a large fleshy door at one end. Hanging on the wall are dozens of sacks with the crew members in them. Barbarian - I think we need to kill all of these Octopussy things before we worry about setting all these guys free. Myself (party sorceror) - I agree, I think we should clear the area before we set these unarmed or armored people free. They would be put at risk if we just let them out and there were more of those things around. The door opens to expose 30 illithids, 40 or so humans with rifles, and the hivebrain.
Siduakal 04-25-05, 10:19 AM	109) "Watch this!" (The ongoing private joke I have with the DM is that Gnomes are like rednecks.. and that one of'em has surely invented slip and slide with grease by now.. And shouted "Hey ya'll! Watch this!" then slid to his death off the top of a building on his grease and slide)
Insane Pixie 04-25-05, 11:38 AM	104. DM: What do you mean, you're all playing bards?!?! :heehee Sounds like something my players would do... They would be called Banana Phone, Trogdor, and Fetish....
jera 04-25-05, 01:04 PM	105. Hey look at the shiny object!! 106. (runs into room with vampires) i think i failed my spot check! 107.(runs into a room full of orcs with great axes) i know i failed my spot chek now 108.(Walks into village full of large humaniod figures with Large Axes) Awsome a village full of Lumberjacks. Hey guys lets get some Flapjacks. 109. P1 (after the evil wizard gets done monologing) oh what did you say i was to busy trying to escape please repeat what you said. 110. P2 (after the evil wizard gets done monologing) i know of a great place to get some flapjacks. 111. Hey!!! Hey you with the ugly face!!! all of these happend in one session we were in a castle full of rooms randomly full of monsters
Nerevar 04-25-05, 01:15 PM	It won't do any harm, it's just a big pile of rocks lying there about 100 foot away (custom monster, around cr 14, killing 3 level 12 characters). I was the evil dm....... Best Regards Nerevar
Head_PC 1 04-25-05, 04:36 PM	Ow, you dick! that was my heart!
epifreak 04-25-05, 06:39 PM	I can't resist...:D DM: Ok, the goblin encampment doesn't seem to have noticed you yet. Make Move Silently checks to skirt around them. Player 1: I got a 21 Player 2:I got a 17 Player 3:I got a 25 Player 4:I got a 4!!!! Your party's "Sir Clunks Alot" is at it again, I see. How about this one: It's just a butler; I can take it. Turns out my DM has a real thing for butlers, and this particular butler happened to be a lvl.20 monk and lvl. 10 of some prestige class. Here, Kirby (our sir clunks alot), play with this. Turned out to be an amulet to summon a random monster. A couple of rolls later, and we, a lvl. 7 party, summoned a dendroid abberation, who was rather displeased at being so called.
eroticnewbie 04-25-05, 07:19 PM	109) "Watch this!" (The ongoing private joke I have with the DM is that Gnomes are like rednecks.. and that one of'em has surely invented slip and slide with grease by now.. And shouted "Hey ya'll! Watch this!" then slid to his death off the top of a building on his grease and slide) My brother is starting to play now and you just totally described his persepective of a Gnome..I didn't think their were other "redneck" Gnomes in the world...guess thats what I get for thinking
Skyblade 04-25-05, 09:13 PM	Nah, we don't need to take watch. I thought HE had watch!! That's the last time I'm cartwheeling into a room. Who's the b*tch with spiders?
epifreak 04-25-05, 09:40 PM	Travel to the plane of chaos! Sure! After all, the battles will be scaled for us. We can take it. Oh, and: Me: You guys do know that ocean travel is dangerous, right? Them: Lets go! Me: *sigh* (I was not with the party for this, but two of them ended up eaten by a sea serpent)
sherretz 04-26-05, 04:08 PM	Player 1: I thought you had ranks in Open Lock Player 2: I thought you had ranks in Open Lock (This actually happened to me when we were starting our current campaign. We had a rogue and a bard who were trying to infiltratea baron's mansion and were defeated by a normal lock.) "Aw, he's cute." <tickles creature under the chin> "What idiot would leave all this gold just sitting here, in piles?" "Hey guys, where's Geoffrey?" "Guys?"
Siduakal 04-26-05, 11:40 PM	As you enter a dragon lair, not knowing thats what it is, "Okay guys, stick together"
Insane Pixie 04-27-05, 12:23 AM	126. Nobody would lay the same trap twice. 127. Of course he's weak towards lightning! 128. I bet it's a zombie. 129. Am I going to die? 130. Just try to pull the trigger. 131. Are you going to shoot me?
Head_PC 1 04-27-05, 12:30 AM	132 Hey hey big guy, nice great sword! You compensating for something? 133 Hey there scaly! You looking for a beat-down?
epifreak 04-27-05, 01:03 AM	How 'bout we give you the finger *makes rude gesture* and you let us pass by. Botched intimidate check against a banditizing wizard.
Incursion2005 04-27-05, 01:46 AM	To A Royal guard at level 3 Im Gonna Kill You. To The King You a Stupid Moron. When in the dungeon he got put in A dungeon thats it I love dugeons. He got killed by a choker.
Seeker of Lore 04-27-05, 02:00 AM	I'll assume this is... 138: I don't suppose you'll let me live. (My wilder, to an Elder White Dragon, after getting snatched up by him and his mate. We had just killed their child, and I was the only one to fail the hide check :gah:. )
Head_PC 1 04-27-05, 03:11 AM	I still cant believe they let me say dick. dick. dick!
The Stray 04-27-05, 03:13 AM	Your party's "Sir Clunks Alot" is at it again, I see. heh, in my game, all barbarians apparently get 30 ranks in the exclusive skill "Move Loudly"...
epifreak 04-27-05, 03:35 AM	heh, in my game, all barbarians apparently get 30 ranks in the exclusive skill "Move Loudly"... Damn, I need to invest in that. My rogue could certainly benefit from such a diverse and useful skill.
Boudewijn Brendergast 04-27-05, 03:37 AM	140. 6th level gnome illusionist trying to blackmail a great wyrm golden dragon in disguise: "If you give me that diamond, I won't tell anyone you're really a dragon". Reply: "If you don't tell anyone, I won't eat you". 141. "What is my wizard doing in the frontline!!??" 142. PC: I cast <insert random area spell> into the room where my friends are battling the barbarian DM: ok, what's the area of effect? PC: I don't know, I just learned this spell 143. "Who made fireball a long range spell????" 144. After mixing up two characters played in different groups: "Are those ALL my HPs?"
Venom of the Yuan Ti 04-27-05, 04:03 AM	145. "Don't Worry! One decent fireball will finish him."..."What do you mean I am only 10ft away?!"
Venom of the Yuan Ti 04-27-05, 04:12 AM	146. "I follow my animal companion" (just sent it scouting) ...(later)... "Why in the name of all nature didn't the rest of the party follow!" (Gets eaten by Dire Wolf)
sherretz 04-27-05, 07:55 AM	"Gosh, it's dark in here" "My character is dirty. He jumps in the river to wash off." "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh................ *clunk*"
Alakar 04-27-05, 11:54 AM	Where did you get that? I jump into the well.. I poke it with a stick.... I'm gonna do something stupid. And of course the line i'm known for... " Sure we can win....... Ah Crap"
SearcherOmega 04-27-05, 01:00 PM	"I wonder what water tastes like... IN MY LUNGS!" <-- Really.
gwydion 04-27-05, 01:36 PM	PC1: yes, I'm really dead PC2: but... I healed you. PC1: yeah like a week ago.
Ambli Ironcutter 05-02-05, 01:16 AM	8th level Barbarian: "It's only Three wounds. I can live with that...." Three rounds later: DM: Have you ever squished a mosquito so that it explodes? ME: Yes......... DM: That's you.