1001 Humorous or Surprising Deaths [Archive] - Wizards Community

1001 Humorous or Surprising Deaths [Archive] - Wizards Community

Post/Author/DateTime Post
LadySage
01-30-08, 02:05 AM Although this has probably been posted before. I thought I would start a new thread wherein YOU, the players could post your humorous and/or surprising PC deaths. It does not have to been funny or contain a witty line but it must certainly be....interesting.

So. . . let me start off with two gems that happened just tonight.

I was running a one-one session with my husband. He started off playing a human paladin of slaughter, set out with the goal of destroying all good things in the prime material plane. So he sets off into the mountains and finds a friendly group of NPC adventurers and joins up with them. At this point the party is unaware of his status as a CE character.

I had a nice little set up I wanted to play out with these adventures wandering into a dungeon that would be clearly out of their league. They were all lvl 5 and my husband was lvl 1. I had a nice image of these newbie adventures wandering in this abandoned underground city in search of treasure, only to be met by beasties who would obviously make mince-meat out of them. I wanted the party to use their wits to out manuver and trick their way past all the monsters, get away with some loot and exp and most importantly their lives.

So the first room they enter had a 60 deep pit in the middle of it. There was a small ledge that would require a balance check to get across or they could jump over the pit that was 15 ft across to reach the nice safe door on the other side. This pit also happened to have a purple worm in it. I had my husband make a spot check, which he aced and had him spot the movement in the darkness. The party's CN human sorcerer also noticed the movement and backed away. The TN rogue simply followed the other members backwards. The CG fighter however, leaned in the hole and brought the worm up. He won the intiative roll and made a clumsy tumble-roll back into the hallway...wherein the CE paladin of slaughter proceeded to sucessfully kick the fighter back into the room. The door was closed by the CN sorc

The rogue is naturally upset by these course of events, seeing no reason for the actions of his party-mates. My husband proceeded to reveal his true nature to the party and the sorc commented on how much trouble the do-gooder would have gotten them in later on down the road. For now, the rogue can live with it and they continue.

Finding the only room they had access to was void of treasure, the party made the choice to distract the worm somehow and cross the pit. The sorc had planned to use dancing lights to keep the worm busy so they could creep their way around the ledge. Now to his credit, my husband seemed to forget that I had mentioned the ledge and took a chance and jumped.

rolls...8 total after AC penalty

The CE paladin of slaughter, made it halfway across the pit and then promptly fell to his death 60 feet down. CE pally-worm food...I had told him about the ledge but he took that chance and...well...be seeing you...

Then there was the Beholder licking Grummish's face incident

Again, my husband was playing a full-grown Beholder and having a lot of fun with it. That is until he discovered a magical archway in the clearing nearby his new lair. I was going to run a campaign which was based around the fact that my husband's beholder was in actuality a victim of a VERY botched reincarnation, in which he-a goodly and powerful hero was slain and brought back as a beholder. Total memory loss, gains the mindset of a sane Beholder and floats off to live in hive deep in the mountains.

Now, he didnt know it but the reason he had been driven out of the hive was because one of the elder orbs had found out about him and had the other lesser beholders drive him out. Hense, why he lived in his own lair in the woods.

The archway was a one-way gate brought there so he could be shown all the places important to him in his other life and perhaps start things rolling. Of course like a true PC, he proceeds to use his disintigration ray on the thing which makes it unsable and tears a hole in reality. Just a hole for now...then...he hit it with his anti-magic ray. I had the tear ripple into a vortex that sucked in all things in a quarter mile radius. He managed to make it back to his underground lair and made tunnels so he could hunt a safe distance away.

Later, a powerful spellcaster arrives to seal the vortex and once again, anti-magic ray and the ritual of closing is stopped and VOOP! In goes spellcaster.

By now he was curious and decied to venture in himself...

BAD IDEA

One random roll later, he ends up on Aceron. After surviving an ice storm, nearly getting crushed between two floating cubes as a horde of 1000s of goblins planned to storm another cube, he makes it to Grummish's fortress. He floats up to it and demands help. The pargon orc guards won't let him in and after he finger-of-death's one and turns another to stone, he narrowly avoids getting swarmed by 1000s of orcs only to just barely make inside the main fortress.

By now, one of Grummish's High Clerics approaches him and demands to know what he is doing here. Speaking in that oh-so-beholderish way, my husband informs him he would like to return to his home. The cleric who did not know what prime he lived on told him to speak to Grummish and if he did not kill him outright, he might help him.

And so, he floats on into Grummish's throne-room and sees a giantantic humanoid who just so happens to have a central eye just like he does. Now beholders only have their mouth and tongue to feel things out with and they do so quite frequently. So what does the beholder do when faced with such an interesting creature? Float up to him and proceed to lick his face.

Grummish ended up with a beholder-on-a stick after one attack. To his credit, the act was extremely in character and I rewarded him by giving his next PC a magic item to start out with.

Now it's your turn folks-share your humorous or surprising death stories. Number 3 starting next....
Shadowshimmer
01-30-08, 07:24 AM My halfling Rogue Sprite was walking with the rest of his party in a field when a land shark attacked us. Sprite could not fly and the Wizard flew up in the air and the fighter and cleric were saved because for some reason the land shark had a craving for halfling that day I guess. Sprite climbed a tree after running like a maniac to it but the land shark did a Jaws maneuver and comes out of the ground and lands on the bottom of the tree and pulls Sprite and the tree down into the ground. Sprite was never heard from again. It was surprising because we had just beaten a major villain and on our way back to base, Sprite gets killed by a land shark!!
Ekko
01-30-08, 12:27 PM My halfing sorcerer/wildmage was ted, and forced to drink soverign glue (the tion then expired). As I'm spluttering from it blocking my windpipe, I grab a bottle labeled "glue solvent" and down it. It was contact poison.

Of course, this is the same sorceror who was liquified by a chaos beast, and was kept in a bucket for a couple of weeks before the party could steal a couple scrolls of restoration. (As in, I would collapse into goop, then regain my form, and just stay in the bucket, so as not to make a mess).

And, the halfling who was unable to speak any language besides Aquan (which none of the party knew) for about a month, in game.
BlackRequiem
01-30-08, 03:27 PM Me and my party were on our way through a swamp to single handedly assault a Drow fortress at level 7. At some point our boat gets destroyed by a giant turtle-dragon and we barely make it out of there alive. On land, we break for camp and I decide to go scouting with my Bard ( i'm the only sneaky person in the group ). To my chagrin I roll poor Hide and Move Silent check and find myself face to face with a group of Scragg trolls. After subduing me with their clubs they drag my body off to be cooked proper. I awaken to a scene of them bickering over how to cook me ( DM must've been reading the Hobbit ) so I began to sing and Fascinate all of them. Now that they were fixated, I Suggested to all of them that there wasn't possibly enough of me to go around and that one or more of them was going to be left starving. The solution? They fight it out, survivor takes all! It works and the Trolls begin to brawl and batter one another, meanwhile I attempt my Escape Artist checks while they're distracted. I finally get free and think i'm going to survive this until one of the trolls gets bullrushed into me, knocking us both into the fire. Then two more dog pile ontop of us -- great now i'm being crushed by three trolls while slowly burning to death. To make matters worse the fourth troll, their leader, picks up a fallen tree trunk he was using as a bench and starts to wail on the dogpile indiscriminately. Needless to say I was both crushed, burned and beaten to death to hilarious effect.
squidyak
01-30-08, 05:11 PM "I'll find out how deep it is. I jump into the pit and cast feather fall." I don't know how he planned on getting back up if he had survived the fall.

"I ready an action to stab the T-Rex with my dagger if it attacks." This from a low-level mage.

My last part all died because the DM doesn't allow taking 10 when there's any risk at all. We were all killed by a 5' wide "chasm".
Johnny_4_Fingers
01-30-08, 05:33 PM 8.our entire party is between 2 and 4 lvl. we see a giant 150ft statue that listens to your command when your in its mouth. so we have a halfling and a gnome in the mouth already. our other halfling newb climbs this thing against all odds. then the half-orc goes and falls 60ft. then finally even though he had a -1 climb plus he just saw the half-orc fall to his death, the dwarf tries climbing it and falls 90ft.
Telulu
01-30-08, 06:16 PM Warning Kinda long story ahead

I was running an epic campaign in which the players all level 30 (succubus soul eater/sorceress in the guise of a child (CE), Wizard (CN), Cleric (NG), and paladin/cleric (god of humans)/too many other jobs (NE) all got transported to a plane that the gods put people who they believe are too strong for the prime material. Everyone but the fighter start together (he showed up late to the session) though they don't know each other. I knew from the start that things might turn sour because of the alignments but this was just for fun and I decided to see what would happen. They all eventually meeet up with the fighter (after establishing their dominance over an area and having the wizard raise a castle) and decide to investigate the capital city of the plane. The city is a place that is populated with demons and angels that all used to serve gods that no longer exist and now have no place to call home, so now they live together. There is a temple to every god (currently alive) in this city so the paladin/cleric goes to find his. The rest of the party decides to do some investigating.
The paladin/cleric steps in, looks around, and demands to speak with the head of the order. After proving that he is indeed a cleric of this god he convinces the order that it is time to "establish the dominance of humans", which seemed to be his character's theme. They all agree and begin their plotting knowing that such a thing takes time. The Fighter/cleric (hereafter known as bob) has other ideas. He immediately runs outside and starts to attack the nearest non-human which happens to be a town guard demon yelling "Die non-human scum!". Well of course the demon calls for backup and quickly Bob is sorrounded. He begins to battle and is actually doing pretty well. The rest of the party shows up to take him back to their castle and find him hip deep in trouble. Everyone but the cleric join the battle thinking to help a fellow party member, the cleric though asks one of the onlookers what happened and is shocked to learn how the fight started. The succubus casts a 2 hour time stop right as Bob casts (she created an epic spell that did this) and decides it is time to feed. With everyone frozen she then proceeds to drain the life out of every single demon and angel guard that joined the fight and then cast an illusion to make it so seem as if she got knocked unconcious once the spell was over. When time resumes all the angels and demons fall over (as seemingly so does the succubus "child") right as Bob finishes his spell. The cleric who had learned the truth sees the spell completion and everyone falling over. He goes into a rage and immediately begins to go after Bob. Since Bob is so ridiculously multiclassed he doesn't have nearly the spellcasting and versatility the full cleric does so is quickly sent running off on his mount. After a 30 minute scene of the cleric chasing down Bob (after using a spell to gain angel wings) he succeeds in hamstringing the mount sending Bob flying to the ground. Bob tries to stand but the cleric flies down and steps on his neck. When everyone else catches up, after the succubus pretends to wake up, they arrive to scene of the cleric, with angel wings spread out, stepping on Bobs neck and plunging his +5 holy rapier into Bob's chest killing him.

Not a funny story, but definitely one that I find amusing.

Post/Author/DateTime	Post
LadySage 01-30-08, 02:05 AM	Although this has probably been posted before. I thought I would start a new thread wherein YOU, the players could post your humorous and/or surprising PC deaths. It does not have to been funny or contain a witty line but it must certainly be....interesting. So. . . let me start off with two gems that happened just tonight. I was running a one-one session with my husband. He started off playing a human paladin of slaughter, set out with the goal of destroying all good things in the prime material plane. So he sets off into the mountains and finds a friendly group of NPC adventurers and joins up with them. At this point the party is unaware of his status as a CE character. I had a nice little set up I wanted to play out with these adventures wandering into a dungeon that would be clearly out of their league. They were all lvl 5 and my husband was lvl 1. I had a nice image of these newbie adventures wandering in this abandoned underground city in search of treasure, only to be met by beasties who would obviously make mince-meat out of them. I wanted the party to use their wits to out manuver and trick their way past all the monsters, get away with some loot and exp and most importantly their lives. So the first room they enter had a 60 deep pit in the middle of it. There was a small ledge that would require a balance check to get across or they could jump over the pit that was 15 ft across to reach the nice safe door on the other side. This pit also happened to have a purple worm in it. I had my husband make a spot check, which he aced and had him spot the movement in the darkness. The party's CN human sorcerer also noticed the movement and backed away. The TN rogue simply followed the other members backwards. The CG fighter however, leaned in the hole and brought the worm up. He won the intiative roll and made a clumsy tumble-roll back into the hallway...wherein the CE paladin of slaughter proceeded to sucessfully kick the fighter back into the room. The door was closed by the CN sorc The rogue is naturally upset by these course of events, seeing no reason for the actions of his party-mates. My husband proceeded to reveal his true nature to the party and the sorc commented on how much trouble the do-gooder would have gotten them in later on down the road. For now, the rogue can live with it and they continue. Finding the only room they had access to was void of treasure, the party made the choice to distract the worm somehow and cross the pit. The sorc had planned to use dancing lights to keep the worm busy so they could creep their way around the ledge. Now to his credit, my husband seemed to forget that I had mentioned the ledge and took a chance and jumped. rolls...8 total after AC penalty The CE paladin of slaughter, made it halfway across the pit and then promptly fell to his death 60 feet down. CE pally-worm food...I had told him about the ledge but he took that chance and...well...be seeing you... Then there was the Beholder licking Grummish's face incident Again, my husband was playing a full-grown Beholder and having a lot of fun with it. That is until he discovered a magical archway in the clearing nearby his new lair. I was going to run a campaign which was based around the fact that my husband's beholder was in actuality a victim of a VERY botched reincarnation, in which he-a goodly and powerful hero was slain and brought back as a beholder. Total memory loss, gains the mindset of a sane Beholder and floats off to live in hive deep in the mountains. Now, he didnt know it but the reason he had been driven out of the hive was because one of the elder orbs had found out about him and had the other lesser beholders drive him out. Hense, why he lived in his own lair in the woods. The archway was a one-way gate brought there so he could be shown all the places important to him in his other life and perhaps start things rolling. Of course like a true PC, he proceeds to use his disintigration ray on the thing which makes it unsable and tears a hole in reality. Just a hole for now...then...he hit it with his anti-magic ray. I had the tear ripple into a vortex that sucked in all things in a quarter mile radius. He managed to make it back to his underground lair and made tunnels so he could hunt a safe distance away. Later, a powerful spellcaster arrives to seal the vortex and once again, anti-magic ray and the ritual of closing is stopped and VOOP! In goes spellcaster. By now he was curious and decied to venture in himself... BAD IDEA One random roll later, he ends up on Aceron. After surviving an ice storm, nearly getting crushed between two floating cubes as a horde of 1000s of goblins planned to storm another cube, he makes it to Grummish's fortress. He floats up to it and demands help. The pargon orc guards won't let him in and after he finger-of-death's one and turns another to stone, he narrowly avoids getting swarmed by 1000s of orcs only to just barely make inside the main fortress. By now, one of Grummish's High Clerics approaches him and demands to know what he is doing here. Speaking in that oh-so-beholderish way, my husband informs him he would like to return to his home. The cleric who did not know what prime he lived on told him to speak to Grummish and if he did not kill him outright, he might help him. And so, he floats on into Grummish's throne-room and sees a giantantic humanoid who just so happens to have a central eye just like he does. Now beholders only have their mouth and tongue to feel things out with and they do so quite frequently. So what does the beholder do when faced with such an interesting creature? Float up to him and proceed to lick his face. Grummish ended up with a beholder-on-a stick after one attack. To his credit, the act was extremely in character and I rewarded him by giving his next PC a magic item to start out with. Now it's your turn folks-share your humorous or surprising death stories. Number 3 starting next....
Shadowshimmer 01-30-08, 07:24 AM	My halfling Rogue Sprite was walking with the rest of his party in a field when a land shark attacked us. Sprite could not fly and the Wizard flew up in the air and the fighter and cleric were saved because for some reason the land shark had a craving for halfling that day I guess. Sprite climbed a tree after running like a maniac to it but the land shark did a Jaws maneuver and comes out of the ground and lands on the bottom of the tree and pulls Sprite and the tree down into the ground. Sprite was never heard from again. It was surprising because we had just beaten a major villain and on our way back to base, Sprite gets killed by a land shark!!
Ekko 01-30-08, 12:27 PM	My halfing sorcerer/wildmage was ted, and forced to drink soverign glue (the tion then expired). As I'm spluttering from it blocking my windpipe, I grab a bottle labeled "glue solvent" and down it. It was contact poison. Of course, this is the same sorceror who was liquified by a chaos beast, and was kept in a bucket for a couple of weeks before the party could steal a couple scrolls of restoration. (As in, I would collapse into goop, then regain my form, and just stay in the bucket, so as not to make a mess). And, the halfling who was unable to speak any language besides Aquan (which none of the party knew) for about a month, in game.
BlackRequiem 01-30-08, 03:27 PM	Me and my party were on our way through a swamp to single handedly assault a Drow fortress at level 7. At some point our boat gets destroyed by a giant turtle-dragon and we barely make it out of there alive. On land, we break for camp and I decide to go scouting with my Bard ( i'm the only sneaky person in the group ). To my chagrin I roll poor Hide and Move Silent check and find myself face to face with a group of Scragg trolls. After subduing me with their clubs they drag my body off to be cooked proper. I awaken to a scene of them bickering over how to cook me ( DM must've been reading the Hobbit ) so I began to sing and Fascinate all of them. Now that they were fixated, I Suggested to all of them that there wasn't possibly enough of me to go around and that one or more of them was going to be left starving. The solution? They fight it out, survivor takes all! It works and the Trolls begin to brawl and batter one another, meanwhile I attempt my Escape Artist checks while they're distracted. I finally get free and think i'm going to survive this until one of the trolls gets bullrushed into me, knocking us both into the fire. Then two more dog pile ontop of us -- great now i'm being crushed by three trolls while slowly burning to death. To make matters worse the fourth troll, their leader, picks up a fallen tree trunk he was using as a bench and starts to wail on the dogpile indiscriminately. Needless to say I was both crushed, burned and beaten to death to hilarious effect.
squidyak 01-30-08, 05:11 PM	"I'll find out how deep it is. I jump into the pit and cast feather fall." I don't know how he planned on getting back up if he had survived the fall. "I ready an action to stab the T-Rex with my dagger if it attacks." This from a low-level mage. My last part all died because the DM doesn't allow taking 10 when there's any risk at all. We were all killed by a 5' wide "chasm".
Johnny_4_Fingers 01-30-08, 05:33 PM	8.our entire party is between 2 and 4 lvl. we see a giant 150ft statue that listens to your command when your in its mouth. so we have a halfling and a gnome in the mouth already. our other halfling newb climbs this thing against all odds. then the half-orc goes and falls 60ft. then finally even though he had a -1 climb plus he just saw the half-orc fall to his death, the dwarf tries climbing it and falls 90ft.
Telulu 01-30-08, 06:16 PM	Warning Kinda long story ahead I was running an epic campaign in which the players all level 30 (succubus soul eater/sorceress in the guise of a child (CE), Wizard (CN), Cleric (NG), and paladin/cleric (god of humans)/too many other jobs (NE) all got transported to a plane that the gods put people who they believe are too strong for the prime material. Everyone but the fighter start together (he showed up late to the session) though they don't know each other. I knew from the start that things might turn sour because of the alignments but this was just for fun and I decided to see what would happen. They all eventually meeet up with the fighter (after establishing their dominance over an area and having the wizard raise a castle) and decide to investigate the capital city of the plane. The city is a place that is populated with demons and angels that all used to serve gods that no longer exist and now have no place to call home, so now they live together. There is a temple to every god (currently alive) in this city so the paladin/cleric goes to find his. The rest of the party decides to do some investigating. The paladin/cleric steps in, looks around, and demands to speak with the head of the order. After proving that he is indeed a cleric of this god he convinces the order that it is time to "establish the dominance of humans", which seemed to be his character's theme. They all agree and begin their plotting knowing that such a thing takes time. The Fighter/cleric (hereafter known as bob) has other ideas. He immediately runs outside and starts to attack the nearest non-human which happens to be a town guard demon yelling "Die non-human scum!". Well of course the demon calls for backup and quickly Bob is sorrounded. He begins to battle and is actually doing pretty well. The rest of the party shows up to take him back to their castle and find him hip deep in trouble. Everyone but the cleric join the battle thinking to help a fellow party member, the cleric though asks one of the onlookers what happened and is shocked to learn how the fight started. The succubus casts a 2 hour time stop right as Bob casts (she created an epic spell that did this) and decides it is time to feed. With everyone frozen she then proceeds to drain the life out of every single demon and angel guard that joined the fight and then cast an illusion to make it so seem as if she got knocked unconcious once the spell was over. When time resumes all the angels and demons fall over (as seemingly so does the succubus "child") right as Bob finishes his spell. The cleric who had learned the truth sees the spell completion and everyone falling over. He goes into a rage and immediately begins to go after Bob. Since Bob is so ridiculously multiclassed he doesn't have nearly the spellcasting and versatility the full cleric does so is quickly sent running off on his mount. After a 30 minute scene of the cleric chasing down Bob (after using a spell to gain angel wings) he succeeds in hamstringing the mount sending Bob flying to the ground. Bob tries to stand but the cleric flies down and steps on his neck. When everyone else catches up, after the succubus pretends to wake up, they arrive to scene of the cleric, with angel wings spread out, stepping on Bobs neck and plunging his +5 holy rapier into Bob's chest killing him. Not a funny story, but definitely one that I find amusing.