Post/Author/DateTime	Post
Cerulean_wings 03-01-06, 10:21 PM	Yup. I know, probably someone made a similar thread not long ago, but hey, isn't it fun to make up and to quote actual last words before dying in the game? The simpler the better! Off I go: 1 - I cross the door 2 - Nah, the orcs won't find us here! 3 - Holy- 4 - What do you mean it doesn't work?! 5 - Weren't red dragons good? 6 - We can do this! 7 - Leeeeeeeerooooooooooy Jeeeenkiiiins!!!! 8 - That a critical hit? :eek:
Shaggy_Shaggs 03-01-06, 10:29 PM	9. :fight!: Die, Lolth!
ressurrector 03-01-06, 10:53 PM	Double Post (ignore)
ressurrector 03-01-06, 10:54 PM	10. It's alright, all the traps are lightning, and I have a ring of resistance. (shortly thereafter the wind trap pushed him into a pit of lava)
claypigeons 03-01-06, 10:57 PM	11. ...but squirrels arent fierce... they're... fluffy..
blackjackg 03-01-06, 11:00 PM	12. No, you fool! That's the detona-
speeblefreak 03-01-06, 11:10 PM	13. That's an illusion. I'll prove it! 14. That's not an illusion. I'll prove it! 15. I pick up the sword/amulet/scythe. 16. Rod of Wonder! 17. I only need to not roll a 1. 18. This cannot fail! 19. Curses? Bah, humbug! 20. Hmm, what's this say? "I prepared Explosive Runes this mor--" 21. What are you afraid of? It's only a goblin!
sneak_Blast 03-02-06, 01:03 AM	22. HA! Look at that lonely kobold. Lets get 'im. 23. I only take 11 damage from the pit trap! Woot! Whadda' mean... 'there's poison on the spikes'... 24. Stupid commoner! You go squish now! (Blasted by what turns out to be a gold dragon in disguise) 25. The king's guard can't be THAT tough. Lets take 'em on! 26. OH BOY!! This tome will have TONS of new spells I can get! (MASSIVE explosive runes) 27. CHAAAAAAAAARGE! 28. He has... spell resistance? :eek: 29. The ONLY way I could fail is if I rolled a natural 1. 30. What's his crit. multiplier again? 31. I thought you said he ran out of spells!! 32. Not a 20, not a 20, not a 20... 33. Its just a GOBLIN!!! 34. I can do this! 35. Dude, I have a +25 modifier to Disable Device. This trap won't go of... SPLAT! 36. I'll take care of him. 37. Leave this to me. 38. What's that "booming" noise? 39. This dungeon was MADE by an illusionist. 40. This door? 41. No, he meant this door. (Yes, these are all exact quotes of last lines from the numerous PCs who died in my party)
Khisanth Magus 03-02-06, 01:44 AM	42. Rogue, use the wand of cure light wounds to heal the dwarf!(our rogue had the worst luck in the world...including rolling a 1 on UMD. The DM decided to be creative and had him reroll to see what would happen. He rolled another 1. A portal to a random plane opened. Turned out to be a portal to the elemental plane of fire, through which a noble salamander came through). 43. I will go investigate alone!
Darkuwa 03-02-06, 03:36 AM	44: WHAT?! After being told he was being tied up by his own party.
Shatteredtower 03-02-06, 07:54 AM	45. You and what army, General?
Kresalak 03-02-06, 08:21 AM	46. Spell Turning? Well, there's no way I can make my own save DC.
Twisted Puppy 03-02-06, 09:29 AM	47. Hey, watch this! 48. Maybe trying to dribble that beholder wasn't such a good idea.
Addimarchus 03-02-06, 12:53 PM	BTW these are stupid things my characters have actually done and said before kicking the proverbial bucket... 49. :thinks: what does this lever do.....? 50. pfsht...if the monk can survive a jump from that height, so can i, watch.... :w00t: 51. oooooh, green jello... 52. hey Mr. T-Rex, wake up (poke poke)..... 53. hey Mr. Troll, wake up (poke poke)..... 54. hey Mr. Balor, wake up (poke poke)..... 55. what trap *twang* 56. i can take 'em 57. well look on the bright side, we aren't in kansas anymore! 58. shut up Kyuss! 59. i shall have to kill you KAWAII style now... :cheer: 60. it had to be a Monday didn't it... 61. Dragons don't scare me, i'm a paladin of FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!
Tzor 03-02-06, 01:26 PM	(From a very odd cartoon series, only in his case it was only being knocked out.) 62. Hello darkness my old ... firend?
Cerulean_wings 03-02-06, 03:31 PM	Fantastic quotes, my friends, keep going! :) 63 - Alright, I forgive you 64 - Awwww, he's so cute! 65 - Why so many dice?! 66 - We came here to kill the queen (Actual quote from a player, to the interrogator of the castle) 67 - We came here to annoy you (Same as above, but this one said to a demon) 68 - I told you this would happen 69 - Pun-Pun? Bwahahaha, what a silly name!
TalonofTiamat 03-02-06, 04:37 PM	Here are some ALMOST last words from our group warforged. 70. Look Beauregard, a lightning storm. (while pointing at the sky) 71. Excuse me! Could you help us? (to a Gargantuan Brown Dragon) Now for some actual last words. 72. This ale tastes funny. 73. Hey, what happens if I turn my Bag of Holding inside out? 74. I don't believe in faries! 75. What's the worst that could happen?
Atar 03-02-06, 04:40 PM	70: YO MOMMA! *uses his Rod of Wonders on the Black Dragon and gets a Fireball* This was at 5 ft, the dragon had 2hp left and at the end of the fight. He was reacting to the Black Dragon biting the Druid in twain. The whole party rushed out of the drakness the Dragon had cast and got biten by the Dragon time after time (AOA's). The sorc was last and he saw the Dragon bite his Druid friend in two, then he used the Rod of TPK's ;) The sorcerer killed himself, the rogue, the ranger and ofcourse the dragon. The story is a lot more elaborate than this but I don't wanna write it all down :P. And it wasn't a TPK, only the wizard, his cohort and the Cleric were left.
JulesCARV 03-02-06, 04:48 PM	77. "Look, you're clearly outmatched, your companions have been slain, and continuing to fight would serve no purpose. Spare your own life and surrender." (not quite last words, but the ensuing fight did take my paladin and our party's goblin ninja into negative HPs, with no healer, so that the DM had to fudge things with "divine intervention" to save us.)
sneak_Blast 03-02-06, 05:25 PM	78. Stupid Orcus! Feel my wraith! 79. He can do that?! :eek: 80. There's no such thing as 'contact poison'. 81. Those assassins aren't that powerful. Lets raid their fortress! 82. Doesn't that require a touch attack... 83. The probability of that happening is 1 in 400! 84. I thought explosive runes allowed a reflex save... 85. Why does this food taste dif -- 86. Nothing can kill epic level characters! 87. Don't worry, everything allows a save. 88. Why does he keep bull rushing me? AAAAAAAAAAH!!! (falls off cliff) 89. The old man said the door on the left. 90. See? It was the center door. 91. The DM won't let us die. 92. What's the worst thing this town could throw at this? 93. You said that this thing had 5 charges left!
cypherx 03-02-06, 06:17 PM	94.) who puts two trap doors in a row? (cookie for all order of the stick quotes!) 95.) man, my spell resistance is too high, he'll never hit me! 96.) the gazebo is a joke put in by the dm. no way in heck it is an animated object. 97.) who hides a huge knoll under a gazebo? 98.) Sigil gaurdsmen are like all the other gaurdmen we've seen. don't worry, i'll handle them! 99.) i'll see you in hell! 100.)OVER MY DEAD BODY! (happened to me when the rouge party member asked to ask for my minor artifact warhammer to smash a door. i was lying on the ground dying of rotting disease. she said "ok, cya in 10 minutes!")
darkness ninja of light 03-02-06, 06:53 PM	95. Hold on. I think I just failed a Spot check...
tharivol266 03-02-06, 07:27 PM	102) it looks like a huge mephit 103) whats an inevitable? 104) dulce madre de dios
Fenris78 03-02-06, 07:41 PM	105: "What we need is someone who's small and fast" *looks at the kender of the party* Technically not his last words I guess. His last words were probably something along the lines of "OMG, my spleen!"
Herald@Large 03-02-06, 07:49 PM	106. Oops! 107. How do you unsummon a Demon Lord? 108. I sneak up on the dragon (said by a fighter in full plate) 109. I'm gonna pick the vampire's pocket! 110. Why is our torch burning blue? 111. I push the red button, then the blue one. No, wait, the other way around! [BOOM!] :D 112. I don't care if she has wings, horns and a tail, I'm gonna hit on her anyway! 113. What do you mean, my weapon bounces off? 114. I've got 20 Dex and a magic bow, I *can't* miss! 115. I've played through this module before, there isn't a trap on that door. 116. [insert deity name] is with us! We cannot fail!
Johnny Cache 03-02-06, 08:14 PM	His last words were probably something along the lines of "OMG, my spleen!"Ha, inferior human organs! *thwump* Aaah! My squeedlyspooch! -------- 117. OK, I think I got that last trap disarmed now... 118. (rolls 1 on Spot check) The coast is clear. Let's go!
Morotis 03-02-06, 09:12 PM	42. Rogue, use the wand of cure light wounds to heal the dwarf!(our rogue had the worst luck in the world...including rolling a 1 on UMD. The DM decided to be creative and had him reroll to see what would happen. He rolled another 1. A portal to a random plane opened. Turned out to be a portal to the elemental plane of fire, through which a noble salamander came through). skill checks don't critically fail or save... 119: Hey, Nerul! do you know why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch? 120: Don't worry guys! This is Ted the mindflayer, he's on our side! 121: Come on, seriously, my touch AC is way to high for him to hit with telekinesis in violent thrust form... 122: The airship is not falling! It's just an effect caused by the wind in your ears! DUUHH!!!
speeblefreak 03-02-06, 09:46 PM	123. We can handle Orcus. The BoVD says he's only CR 28! (version of Orcus used is CR 39) 124. What do you mean, "we've been expecting you?" 125. What do you mean, "WE'VE been expecting you?!"
Majean 03-02-06, 09:50 PM	126: Hey look, someone left a pile of gold on the ground.
I_Strahd 03-02-06, 10:24 PM	127. hey smell my finger. 128. no, its the on button. 129. o.k. dont panic. i learned this in the circus.
Archmage_Vall 03-02-06, 10:25 PM	It'll be ok. The DM isn't THAT mean... Uh... why's the DM smiling like that? I show the king my royal middle finger. Succubus: Whatever you do, DON'T touch this table. That would be VERY VERY bad. PC: I touch the table.
belthazzar1113 03-02-06, 11:17 PM	last words of my astra deva from last nights game.... "I'm in a pit, impailed on spikes, and covered with snakes... SET ME ON FIRE!" one round later Me: that didn't work as i intended. what level should the new character be?
Cerulean_wings 03-02-06, 11:27 PM	*hint hint* You have to number your Last Words, otherwise it won't be "1001 Last Words", only "Random amount of Last Words", and no one would like that, now would they? I didn't think so :D 130 - What did you call me?! 131 - Duh! There are no traps at the beggining of a dungeon! 132 - Come on... how much can a falling block of solid rock do to my level 1 wizard? 133 - Ha! I'm immune to that! 134 - Uh-oh. 135 - I'm feeling lucky... 136 - I'm feeling unlucky... 137 - What do you mean, "He backstabbed us in the worst possible moment"?
Doopliss 03-02-06, 11:29 PM	Originally Posted by Silvercrys Incarnum, a new and amazing magic system like none seen before. So why doesn't it have a forum? Copy this into your sig to show Wizards how valuable an Incarnum forum could be. I am shocked and offended. ;) Again, from actual games. I suck at actual quotes, so... "Nah, I'm sure the Gnothic is resting from his last sneak attacks." Second level paladin: "I step out from cover and place him under arrest." The paladin just witnessed 'him' destroying an inevitable. Interestingly enough he lived, but that's another story.
Cerulean_wings 03-02-06, 11:39 PM	I am shocked and offended. ;) Again, from actual games. I suck at actual quotes, so... "Nah, I'm sure the Gnothic is resting from his last sneak attacks." Second level paladin: "I step out from cover and place him under arrest." The paladin just witnessed 'him' destroying an inevitable. Interestingly enough he lived, but that's another story. Will you ever forgive me? :weep: I'll change it so it isn't a quote anymore, just for you ;) 138 - "I'm the 9th Lord of Hell" Yeah, right!
Reivas Genocai 03-02-06, 11:47 PM	139 - "I cant take it, THERE'S TOO MANY OF THEM!!!!"
speeblefreak 03-02-06, 11:56 PM	140. Wrecking the bridge seemed like a good idea at the time.
Frylord 03-03-06, 12:27 AM	141. *gulps down explosive potion* "See you in Baaaaator monkey boy!" *explodes* EDIT: Changed it a little.
Frylord 03-03-06, 08:49 AM	Eh? Why did you delete my post? EDIT: Opps. I just couldn't see my post. I'm blind! :embarrass
The Game 03-03-06, 09:40 AM	In a game of Werewolf, there was one new player who was playing a human with a rifle. While out in a graveyard with his buddies (Yeah, great idea in WoD...), he see's werewolf sized shapes moving barely 10 meters from him... GM: What do you do? Player: I shoot at them with my rifle! GM: :uh-huh: Ok...you shoot at them. Seemingly unaffected, they bound over to you, their apparent 'leader' wraps a hand the size of your torso around your neck, hoists you off the ground effortlessly and says in a gutteral growl "Try that again, and one of these graves is gunna be yours" Player: Oh sh!t! I better kill them first! I shoot him!
Wargamer 03-03-06, 11:28 AM	143: RANGER: Here comes the army... SCOUT: Yup... RANGER: You know, they say for every warrior that dies a hero, a thousand fall, forgotten and unsung. SCOUT: Sounds good to me; there's two-thousand of them. 144: "Come back with your shield, or on it... shame I never had one." 145: "Funny, I always had a thing for Vore until now..." 146: "SON OF A-" 147: *To the corpse of a dead villan.* "Talk, or fight. Not both." 148: "Once more..." 149: "See you when we die!" 150: To the tune of "Wooden Pints" by Korpiklaani" "There's Drow underground, who will never see the sun And they really know how to party! Black-skinned Elves from underground, who will never see the sun And they really know how to party!" 151: "DEATH OR GLORY!!!!!"
sneak_Blast 03-03-06, 11:58 AM	152. NONE SHALL STOP ME!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!! (actually, the last words of the BBEG) 153. Wait, if a wyrm is the youngest kind of dragon, then wouldn't a great wyrm be one of the second youngest? 154. Why would the bed be a mimic? 155. Well, both of these beds won't be mimics... (GULP!... the second mimic)
Herald@Large 03-03-06, 04:41 PM	(I counted all the unnumbered quotes most carefully and we are now at) 162. (and I'm *very* surprised no one's posted this one yet ...) OOOOOOO ... shiny!
Cerulean_wings 03-03-06, 04:51 PM	(I counted all the unnumbered quotes most carefully and we are now at) 162. (and I'm *very* surprised no one's posted this one yet ...) OOOOOOO ... shiny! Good job in counting, I didn't do it because I'm too lazy :D And no, I can't think of anymore last-words... I leave it in your hands, fellow posters, to fulfill my dream of reaching the count of 1001 Last Words! :weep:
speeblefreak 03-03-06, 07:44 PM	163. Wow...that's a lot of dice. 164. Player: I listen at the door. What do I hear? DM: "3...2...1..." 165. So if THAT wasn't the BBEG, then....
GreatWyrm 03-03-06, 08:29 PM	166. I'm going to charge the large construct..
Loki_God'o'Chaos 03-03-06, 09:50 PM	167. C'Mon Guys, we can beat Cthulu, after all, we have a Traveler, a Gunslinger, a Paladin, and a Predator 168. I am the son of Nerull's Incarnate, Im not too worried about this pansy a$$ little mofo!! *death was pretty much instantaneous after that*
ConclaveKing 03-03-06, 10:49 PM	169:I wanna poke it! 170:SH**! 171:I can do that. 172:It's so cute! 173:Wait, it has teeth! 174:I'll try and feed it something
shadowfox628 03-03-06, 11:00 PM	175. I'm going to go through the left tunnel (ALL of the others went into the right one) 176. I stab it.
mirconium 03-04-06, 01:34 AM	177. Oh, what's he going to do? Kill us? 178. The only thing that makes the king special is that he is a level 2 Aristocrat instead of a level 1 Aristocrat.
Wargamer 03-04-06, 03:32 AM	179: "We can jump across that..." 180: "I really wish I'd bought life insurance." 181: "Alas, Craft: [Way out of this] is not a Fighter Class skill..." 182: "I think this item's cursed..." 183: "A Herd of Terrasques!?"
belthazzar1113 03-04-06, 05:34 AM	184. wait... i think i just failed a spot check (oots tribute) 185. so... what were you running from? (oots tribute) 186. has anyone seen the bard? (penchant for wandering off and bringing back trouble) 187. ok well that hurt, but lets go before the trap resets... 188. OH SH *splorf* 189. come on... they are just kobolds.... how many could their be? 190. wait a minute... five of us... where are all those extra shadows comeing from? (followed immediatly by "why can't i move my arms.") 191. well, it says potion of healing on it.... *thump* 192. a gate to bator still counts as a way out of this damn dungeon right? I jump. 193. Fighter: Cleric we need a miracle!! Cleric: To whom it may concern.... HELP!
belthazzar1113 03-04-06, 05:35 AM	194. no one said anything about trolls.... did you hear about trolls? i didn't hear about trolls... no, there definitly shouldn't be trolls here..... crap, those are trolls....
Mnky 03-04-06, 07:42 AM	195. "Thanks for healing me" [rouge gets hit by cannon ball] [cleric heals rouge] Rouge says "thanks for healing me" [Rouge gets hit by another cannon ball]
WarColonel 03-04-06, 09:42 AM	196. I cast magic missile at the darkness.
Cerulean_wings 03-04-06, 11:48 AM	196. I cast magic missile at the darkness. Are you sure those are Black Mage's last words? :P 197 - In your face! 198 - NO! I won't share what I found! The trasure is mine, MINE I tell you!
speeblefreak 03-04-06, 12:42 PM	199. Cool, a bag with teeth. 200. ...You didn't see me roll that.
Anodai 03-04-06, 01:23 PM	201- wait, i can run out of arrows? 202- From now on, you shall be known as squishey. <poke> (rouge to the half ogre barbarian) 203- You suck, man (player to me, the dm) 204- whats rule zero? 205- but... the monster manual says there is only one tarassque! 206- What the... there are Lasercannons in D&D? 207- Aww, theres no such thing as a jovnican bomb... 208- What could two jovocs chained to a wall do to us? 209- waddaya mean, infinite damage? 210- Nah, im sure the abbys is just like this plane (pc in olympus) 211- what do you mean, ignores armor?
Isomer 03-04-06, 02:41 PM	Archers have the high ground and are destroying the party. Everyone is fleeing the room, the halfing rogue boldly declairs. "I run into the room and leap under the tables for cover!" Much later they retreived her pincushion'd body, but not to res. her, rather her stuff acted as treasure for that session.
Egarb 03-04-06, 03:04 PM	212. "He can't jump that far."
overchill42 03-04-06, 03:27 PM	213. "Bring it!" 214. "Wait, what was that last part?" 215. "Dude, I got this." 216. "There are how many?" 217. "Everyone knows those can't climb trees."
Archmage_Vall 03-04-06, 11:25 PM	218. PC: I cast magic missile at the DARKNESS DM: *slaps forehead* The darkness eats you. 219. PC: That guy's the archpriest of the church of St. Cuthbert? I flip him off. DM: *slaps forehead* He shapechanges into a dragon and eats you. 220. (In aquatic campaign) Wizard PC: I call a familiar, trying to find a blowfish. DM: Ok... in a few minutes, a blowfish swims over to you and becomes your familiar. PC: Cool, I name it "Hooty" DM: *slaps forehead* A dire shark swims over and eats you.
xvthreetwoonevx 03-05-06, 03:57 AM	220. "He can't possibly hurl something THAT big...Oh, SH**T!" Followed by a resounding SPLUT. 221. "Dude, Monks are totally broken. Watch, i'll prove it." 222. "Oh, the dragon won't mind if I just take one little jewel..."
Ixmof 03-05-06, 05:37 PM	153. Wait, if a wyrm is the youngest kind of dragon, then wouldn't a great wyrm be one of the second youngest? I believe you are referring to Wyrmling, Wyrm is the second oldest. 223-(I posted this on the last thread) "I am above healing myself".
Red Fire 03-05-06, 06:06 PM	224- "Narf" 225- "Chuck Norris" 226-"Snarfblatt" 227-"Dinglehopper" 228-"Boobies!" 229-"Elven boobies!" 230-"Hey look sorcress boo-*turned into a frog*"
Swarms 03-05-06, 09:25 PM	228-"Boobies!" Boobies make me smile. 231. "I set it on fire." 232. "Don't be stupid. Gunpowder hasn't been invented yet." 233. "Think about it guys, we already killed the monster, so this room should be the safest one in the dungeon, right? I'm going to sleep."
Marvos 03-05-06, 09:34 PM	234: I'll save you! 235: How many dice did you just roll? 236: We're level 10, we can take a hobgoblin. 237: What's "DR"? 238: What's "SR"
speeblefreak 03-05-06, 09:55 PM	239. I punch the black sphere. 240. ?!! I reach into the black sphere to pull him out. 241. I run from the gazebo. 242. Can lightning elementals swim? 243. Where'd everybody go? And where did all these statues come from? 244. I grapple the lich! 245. This water tastes funny.
Cerulean_wings 03-05-06, 11:29 PM	246 - Vecna only had ONE relic... 247 - My honor is my lif- 248 - I made it! 249 - The command word for this fireball wand? Why, it's Flaming Death-BOOM! 250 - *in front of a dragon* What's that word I shouldn't say to a dragon in draconic? Vershanksullimar? *crunch*
LivelyAnthony 03-06-06, 04:34 AM	251 - You see a girl crying. I go and put the ring on her finger that makes her see demons. She starts to flip out and guards approach. Whats going on here? I just put that ring on her to make her feel better because she was crying. *Guard grabs girl and takes ring* Its got our symbol on it, where did you get this ring? I found it in the tower down the road.(After they killed every guard inside.)Uhm sir your going to have to come with us now.(My charecter the pally has a ring that can read minds better then a dopple ganger by passing a check of 26 not 18 who just happens to be a guard.) Head guard: So where did you find this? Pally: OH GOD THERE ALL BEING SLAUGHTERD Fighter : Oh ****.... Head guard: what what? whats going on? pally: here take this ring and ask him what happend at the tower. Head guard: what happend at the tow.....OH GOD WHAT HAPPEND YOU BASTARD YOU KILLED THEM ALL YOUR GOING TO BE HUNG Fighter : ...godamn pally.... DM: jesus christ....next game im killing your character.....
Wargamer 03-06-06, 04:40 AM	252: "First rule of the gaming table: NEVER give the DM ideas!" 253: ROGUE: "Wait! Let me check for traps!" FIGHTER: "Oh come on! Every door so far has been trapped... they can't have trapped this door as well!" *Opens door. Gets killed.* FIGHTER'S PLAYER: "...why didn't you check the door for traps!?"
Rhue 03-06-06, 04:48 AM	254: "Look, we won, of course it's safe to let our guards down!" Sadly, he didn't last the night...
zlatko 03-06-06, 08:25 AM	255: Fighter: I bull rush the door! 256: Rouge: Fudge! Thats a deep hole! Why is it behind the door? Barbarian: I wanna know how deep it is. Rouge: You bastaaaaaaaaaa...
Zak'nafein 03-06-06, 08:41 AM	257. "What's with this stupid scroll? All it says is Hastur, Hastur, Hast-" (Power Word Kill)
Wargamer 03-06-06, 10:03 AM	258: "Hey, there's some kind of sign here... 'Caution, Explosive Ru-'"
Red Fire 03-07-06, 09:51 PM	259-"KABOOM!" 260-"EEEEW! Orc guts!" 261-"EEEW!! Goblin guts!" 262-*Sliced* "EEEW! My guts!
Doopliss 03-07-06, 11:47 PM	263: Nice! I'm about to get a huge ECL boost, that thing has Create Spawn.
Wind of Darkness 03-11-06, 08:17 PM	I have a few near-death quotes fom my party: 264. "I am Rohjan, Paladin of Thor" (To everyone. One of these days it'll get him killed, we're sure of it) 265. "I'll be fine, those archers will never beat my AC" (Ranger who had just run ahead of the party to find an amush. A crit dropped him to negatives) 266. "Amateur!" (Me, to an enemy sorceror who just lightning bolted us. Electricity resistance 5 or not, 3 6d6 bolts will hurt you)
ghost_image 03-11-06, 10:05 PM	267. Of course were out of my fireballs radius! 268. Of course were out of firing range! 269. Of course it's an illusion! 270. Of course it's asleep! 271. I can jump that! 272. How long could it take to pick one little lock? 273.My personal favorite. (In the north tower of a lords manor after breaking over 20 locks!!!) Dm: You are in a circular room with ancient treasures covered in dust, but on a high pedastol you see an ancient gladius encased in glass, completely undamaged by time. Monk (me): I scour the room for any ancient texts, coins, or any other valuable antiques. Rogue: I break the glass and take the gladius! Dm: The sword is getting hot in your hand Rogue: "It's getting hot!!" Monk: "Put it down! It must be cursed!" Rogue: "NO! IT MUST BE ENCHANTED!" Dm: It grows hotter by the second..... Monk: "Drop it!" Rogue: "No." Monk: "DROP IT YOU IDIOT!" Rogue: "NO!!! Its mine!" Monk: "Fine! Be that way you pompus :censored: " Monk: I jump out the tower window Dm: Ok, your slowfall brings your fall to 10ft, roll for tumble...." Rogue: Hey what about me? Dm: Ah yes, you take a direct hit from fireball damage...... (dont worry he survived :rolleye2: )
Silverthumb128 03-12-06, 03:33 PM	274. Sense Motive check? Why would I want to make a Sense Mo...*stabbed* 275. High Priest, you say? Yeah, we have have those kinds of robes in my home kingdom. Its what we give to little old ladies while they go shopping for posies in their frilly bonnets.
sneak_Blast 03-12-06, 07:15 PM	My sig.
Diplominator 03-12-06, 08:55 PM	277: No, this cannot be! I am INVINCIBLE! (A cookie for anyone who gets the reference)
Wolfpack 03-12-06, 10:10 PM	278: The DM never sends the tough monsters in the first wave.
Wulfgar 03-12-06, 10:52 PM	279: That's what all the fuss is about? 280: HA! My AC is so low (1e) that even I can't hit me! 281: What dragon...? 282: You're a what?!? 283: Piece of cake.
Callista 03-13-06, 05:56 AM	277: No, this cannot be! I am INVINCIBLE! (A cookie for anyone who gets the reference) the Evil Overlords list?
big_bluto 03-13-06, 07:14 AM	284. Gnome Bard/Rogue with an ego, Half-Elf Paladin, Elf Cleric, Elf Sorceress and Dwarf Fighter walk into cavern facing a three headed dragon. Cue Famous Last Words.... Gnome: YO! Cue three breath weapons.... 285. Same Gnome when coming up against the BBEG (Lich) earlier on, and please bear in mind his tendency to talk like a Glaswegian Ned, and a complete 'wido' to boot. Gnome: Alright, Lich B*tch? I hear you love the c*ck. Still surprised to this day that he made it through that bombardment! I miss him.....
Settra 03-13-06, 10:16 AM	286: Chuck Norris!!?
Settra 03-13-06, 10:29 AM	287: Actual happening: Our party rogue was hiding in a huge pile of treasure while we were having the famous last talk with the BBEG. In the middle of the conversation he jumps out from the pile and tries to sneak attack our newly aquired ally who was BBEG's worst enemy. Our ally dodged it and the BBEG lifted the rogue from his feet by his hair and threw him into the pile of treasure. He woke up in a dungeon.... His last words when asked what he was doing were these: "I'm just siding!"
Anodai 03-13-06, 04:07 PM	288- so... if the wizard casts the delayed blast fireball and i pop the thing in my mouth... what happens? 289- i take a s**t in the bag of holding 290- Awww, lok at the rust monster! its soooooo cute, let me pet it! <party warforged> 291- i cast light on the inside of my eyelids! 292- I cast wish and wish to be special... 293- Look, the clown from madness com- 294- Psyonics are 100 percent effective. watch as i levitate across this chasm of death 295- Spiked chain fighters SUCK! 296- Hey, your REALLY tall 297- O my god- the dm just took out a d1000!
metamind 03-13-06, 05:19 PM	119: Hey, Nerul! do you know why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Yeah I should copyright that... 298: what do the explosive runes say? 299: They say- 300: Outa my way! Stupid Kobold. 301: Whats an "epic spell"? 302: could you hand me that empty character sheet? 303: Of course a level 2 wizard can travel alone!
Ohtar Turinson 03-13-06, 06:25 PM	Not actually last words, but they would have been if I rolled better... 304) Wait. Why are you rolling the d20 twice? (For confirming a critical hit with a scythe, against a character who had only 20 health left.) 305) F***! THAT'S A QUORI! 306) What's a Quori?
Ameture Expert 03-13-06, 06:42 PM	305) I'm gonna try to reason with it. 306) Go ahead, I have plenty of HP left. 307) (looks down deep casm of spiked/jagged rocks) I think I can make it.
metamind 03-13-06, 08:41 PM	277: No, this cannot be! I am INVINCIBLE! (A cookie for anyone who gets the reference) 8-Bit Dnd? Whats a cookie anyway?
monkmania 03-14-06, 01:10 AM	17. I only need to not roll a 1. My god. That is so true.
Marvos 03-14-06, 11:11 AM	These two are from a game I did on sunday 308. "I stick my hand into the portal up to my elbow." 309. "The plague is from drinking' bad water. I'll be fine walking through it." Here's one from DnD online 310. "I can't find the box, the trap must not reset."
metamind 03-14-06, 04:05 PM	311: Player: look at these templates I made! DM: *looks at templates* *Opens MM to section on Tarrasque* :evillaugh 312: Hey I made that template! 313: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS?!?
jogan 03-15-06, 03:13 PM	314: played a campaign for 1 year, with the same character (lev 12 fighter). this happened in the final session of the campaign, fighting the BBEG of said campaign: me: you are going to pay for lives you've destroyed, Culthias. today your reign of evil and tyranny stops here. i will not stop until one of us is dead. dm: roll a will save. me: aw crap.... dm: you are dominated. now, go and attack the rogue.
Demonfey 03-15-06, 03:29 PM	315. Obscenely long list of profanities. 316. I charge the steel predators!* *Player was an assassin that charged them without any backup at the time or any ability to sneak attack one of three steel predators. They all got AoPs on him, then it was their turn.
shadowmimiiru 03-15-06, 03:35 PM	317) Did anyone else just here a click? 318) We can take them ((An army of Epic Level Orc Fighters and Wizards) later shadow
dutchmason 03-15-06, 04:10 PM	319) (by the chaotic good necromancer) death is just the next .....f**k
Steel Cobra 03-15-06, 07:02 PM	320) I love you, you won't kill the only one who loves you will you?.......aw crap
Anodai 03-15-06, 07:13 PM	306) What's a Quori? What is a Quori?
Diplominator 03-15-06, 07:32 PM	8-Bit Dnd? Whats a cookie anyway? Nope, Evil Overlord List (http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html) . Oh, and this is a cookie: :cookie: Heh. 321: Hey, sweet. A cookie!
Demonfey 03-15-06, 08:00 PM	Quori are Eberron-native outsiders that live in their dimension of dreams. They are aberrations that have a long, kind of centipede-like tail that they use to move, a few arms, a pair of large arms with blades on the ends, and many eyes.
Ameture Expert 03-15-06, 09:12 PM	322) On my last breath, I curse the DM! 323) On my last breath, I curse (Insert players own name)! 324) On my last breath, I curse George Lucus!
Ohtar Turinson 03-15-06, 11:36 PM	Quori are Eberron-native outsiders that live in their dimension of dreams. They are aberrations that have a long, kind of centipede-like tail that they use to move, a few arms, a pair of large arms with blades on the ends, and many eyes. That's one kind anyway. They tend to have crab claws, eyes in odd places, and serpentine shape. Anything else is variable by quori type. (in this case it was a home brewed one, but someone recognized the basic body type OOC)
Debonaire 03-16-06, 12:34 AM	Not really a last quote but funny non the less. We we walking down the road and we saw what look like the aftermath of a small scuffle. A wizard and a fighter lay dead at each others hands so naturally we went over to pillage thier corpses at which point the DM says.... 325. "Nothing's free B*tches, Rogue make a grapple check*
lord_arsenic 03-16-06, 05:35 PM	#326 "I drink the darkest potion on the shelf" Said by a rouge in our party #327 "Wait a minute..." #328 "I think thats the last of 'em" #329 "diiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee" #330 " I try to reason with the zombie"
KublaiKhan 03-16-06, 05:58 PM	#330 " I try to reason with the zombie" #331: Whaddaya mean, that's not a zombie?!
Ryusage 03-18-06, 07:42 AM	Actual Last Words From My Current Campaign ( which includes an elven ranger, a dwarven fighter, a human sorcerer and a halfling rogue) 332: DM: The ogre approaches you... what do you do? Ranger: I KICK THE DWARF! 333: Fighter: Come on what's the worst that could happen? 334: Rogue: Do we have time to eat before the war begins? 335: Ranger: What do we have for equipment? DM: all you have left is oil, vials and your flint+steel. Ranger: WE CAN TAKE THOSE TROLLS! BURN!!! 336: Why's the DM laughing?
rkraupach 03-18-06, 09:18 PM	277: No, this cannot be! I am INVINCIBLE! (A cookie for anyone who gets the reference) Syndrome from The Incredibles
Vol 03-18-06, 09:28 PM	337 - Don't worry, monks are supposed never to fail a saving throw
Ameture Expert 03-18-06, 09:58 PM	338) And this one time, at bard camp... (I was just getting used to the borrowed running gag too) 339) Well, now that that's over lets go drink untill we can't feel feelings anymore. 340) No time to search for traps, we'll just have to risk it! 341) Funny, this never happens to Drist. 342) Run, I'll hold him off as long as I can! (Dies one round after saying that) 343) What's that grandma? I should head towords the light, okay. 344) I sense death in the air, one of us might not make it back. 345) Why would we need a cleric? 346) You've been toying with my hit points for an hour! Just kill me already! 347) You just had to get him that book for his birthday. 348) I wonder what killed all these people? Oh, that's what did it. 349) It's open, come on in. (In respons to a high level Vampire knocking on the door) 350) What smells like poison gas? 351) What smells like rotting flesh? 352) What smells like dragon? 353) Vecna! What's that daisy going to do to me. I'll bad moulth him all I want. 354) We are here to kill you, Wolfgar is it. 355) (As 354 but mention your a wizzard first) 356) I moon the King.
Tharivol Nailo 03-18-06, 10:02 PM	357. "So long, and thanks for all the fish," Awkened Dolphin to former master, while sacrificing self to save former master.
revaar 03-18-06, 10:59 PM	358: and you call yourself a wizard! you're no better than an apprentice! *to bbeg* 359: DM: while you all run around in a panic, the ancient red dragon lands on the keep's wall Me: i flip off the DM. DM: a giant fist crushes you, mike, your turn. 360: i may not be able to hurt him, but i sure can tick him off! i smash his portal!
Tharivol Nailo 03-18-06, 11:22 PM	361. Wait, where did that rouge go?
lvl10penguin 03-18-06, 11:38 PM	362. i bet the mamma bear is out foraging for food 363. what does this button do? 364. don't worry, these eggs wont hatch for weeks 365. my new PC is a bard! 366. i jump off the giant eagle and try to land on the dragon's back in midair 367. bah, who needs riding lessons for a simple horse (1st level wizard before the horse scores a crit) 368. i pee on the fire elemental 369. i pee on the snow elemental 370. don't worry, it doesn't even have opposable thumbs
Squaba 03-19-06, 12:35 AM	371) I don't care if it IS a demonic gnoll wearing spiked armor. I grapple it! 372) (After seeing the ultimate bad guy) I take my bag of holding, shove it in my Portable hole, and use my quickened teleport to get out of the way. *DM* You already used your quickened teleport to get near the bad guy. *Player* ...crap (Wizard get's sucked into the vortex) 378) Wait a minute.... I'M IN MELEE WITH THAT GUY!! (fighter get's sucked into vortex.)
ressurrector 03-19-06, 01:39 AM	379: I pee on the storm elemental 380: I pee on the lightning elemental 381: Hey cleric, I got some friction burns in bed last night, can you heal them? (the cleric was the dudes NPC girlfriend, and she didn't give him those friction burns...)
fesfesfes 03-19-06, 08:48 AM	382: "I run" Sorcerer (3 hp): I try to bluff the dragon. *rolls a 4* DM: ok, *rolls a 18*. DM: With modifiers that will be 9 and 27. Sorcerer: I try to use diplomacy, *rolls*. DM: The dragon is now hostile, (instead of unfriendly). Sorcerer: I run DM: The dragon attacks you (breath weapon 6d10)
Envisioned 03-19-06, 11:13 AM	*Our Rogue in response to his being kidnapped and held hostage with a dagger to his throat* 383. Rogue: If you kill me now I'll become more powerful than you could possibly imagine. 384. In Justice' name! 385. I go into rage... 386. If there's an easy way in, there must be an easy way out. 387. What? This guy's a weakling! What do you get when you cross a Ranger, a Scout, and a Bard? A Barscraper! Hahahaha. (DM rolls critical with max damage).
Anodai 03-28-06, 06:44 PM	384- i drink it. no, wait: i chug it.
metamind 03-28-06, 07:05 PM	385: I challange you to a dance off! (to a dervish)
NoSix 03-28-06, 07:31 PM	390: So, are you [Amazons] lesbians, or what?
DaMullet 03-28-06, 07:35 PM	391: Kender, lying on ground. "Wait, how do I make a reflex save for this Fireball if I'm unconscious?"
speeblefreak 03-28-06, 08:10 PM	392. Hehe, lookit my braaaain. 393. Neutronium Golem? 394. Say hello to my little...uh...oh :censored: 395. I like to make boomies. Boom! 396. You...shall not...PASS! 397. :mymy:...that's just wrong. 398. Boy, am I glad golems don't sunder! 399. Who cares if I'm drunk? Charge! 400. I put the moves on this unnaturally hot woman who just showed up...whaddaya mean, "energy drain?"
Pangeon 03-28-06, 08:12 PM	401. I charge the zombie with my crowbar! (said by a Psionist with 5 HP.) Thankfully, he didn't actually die.
Ameture Expert 03-29-06, 09:54 PM	I actually did this with my Rouge 7/Fighter 2/Shadow Dancer 3. It has been a long dungon, I was hit by a "Bestow Curse" prying out a large ruby with a short sword and now virtually all rolls but damage take a -4. And then I decide to claim the BBEG all to my self when asked if any one wanted to take him on. I'm supposed to taunt him out, but I can't think of any good insults so I just keep at an annoying banter of trying to insult him. And so when he finally comes out I size him up and say... 402) "What! Is that all, I'm glad I didn't bother tring to think up a half decent insult on *that.*
notmesmee 03-30-06, 03:31 AM	Me- "i jump down to save the cleric" DM-"let me roll falling damage...97 damage" Me- "I survive and make my massive damage save" Dm- "I need d6's" Me- "why?" DM- "for the lava damage" Me-"...what lava?" DM-"the lava i discribed 20 minutes ago" Me"Oh...I forgot about that....can i take back the jump?"
Tyrasius 03-30-06, 07:58 AM	403 It’s just furniture; it’s not like its going to attack us. 404 Maybe we can smoke them out if we burn down these supports. 405 What happens if I drink this? (it was alchemists fire, but my level 1 wizard didn’t know that 406 Look at the cute little dragon. I'm gonna go pet it. Blaaachhhh!!! 407 It must be an illusary pit, because no one would spend that much effort creating a real bottomless one.
savenger_101 04-05-06, 05:56 PM	(first post so bear with me here.) 408. "heads or tailz?" 409. "i recognize this.. JAMANJI!!" 410. (after purchasing a carrage...) I CALL SHOTGUN!!! 411. "i'm stumped.. letz sleep on it" 412. "just go.. il catch up." 413. "Ok im wiped. letz break for lunch." 414. "Tag. your it." thatz all i can think of for now (i signed up on this forum because i wanted to post on this thread :D what everyone think? any good?
Rickiel 04-05-06, 06:07 PM	415: You wouldn't really harm me. 416: Would you? 417: Let go of the adamantium now. 418: Okay, you got six swords and can use them to slice up an army...but can you dance! 419: It's a door made by dwarves, it's not going to fall down on us! 420: YOU'RE MOTHER WAS A COOCHIE AND YOUR FATHER SMELLS OF LILIES! *said to a drow priestess* 421: Well Meow to you too. *said to a rakshasa*
rudie 04-05-06, 09:20 PM	422: Me: Hah a level 1 fighter DM: I rolled a double crit.. Me:...F*** 423: Wanna throw hands dwarf! (said the lvl 2 swashbuckler ..low health low AC..to the 2nd level cleric..with full plate..) 424: I try to intimidate the gold dragon.
Whisper_Swiftblade 04-05-06, 09:47 PM	Whats the worst that could happen?
Whisper_Swiftblade 04-05-06, 09:48 PM	Rouges are those really loud guys right?
Whisper_Swiftblade 04-05-06, 09:50 PM	do not worry there is no way he can hit us from over there...
Whisper_Swiftblade 04-05-06, 09:50 PM	I think he is out of spells..
Whisper_Swiftblade 04-05-06, 09:57 PM	hay I know lets ask the drow to help, after-all as I am an elf I we are practicly family... Just jump I can catch you (he said to the war-forged) Fear not no rouge can sneek in with me around (I was the rouge)
Whisper_Swiftblade 04-05-06, 10:00 PM	Aaaah... oh it's just the wizards cat....don't worry guys the wizard has no idea we are in his house... (The cat was a familiar)
Cuisinier Rouge 04-05-06, 11:18 PM	#433(?) Okay: I wanna attack the gazebo!!!
rudie 04-06-06, 12:17 AM	434. ( brian was a lvl 5 sorcerer his cat was a lvl 2 familiar..zack was a lvl 6 human monk) zack: I grapple brian's cat brian: KITTY KITTY COME BACK! Dm:..ok Zack: AHAHA does a 15 hit its AC Brian: heh...nope zack: what? Brian: zack...does a 29 hit yours... zack: yes.... Brian: 3 damage..subdual (the cat almost took zack out..)
Legacychampion 04-06-06, 04:31 PM	435: I intimidate the hoard of goblins. (fails check) Oh :censored: 436: And for my next trick, I'll survive this huge explo- 437: Rina, I told you, the orcs will never find us here...Rina? 438: Right. The only way w'ell die is if ten thousand devils lurk around the corner :invasion: ...oh, snap. :heehee
Rickiel 04-06-06, 05:38 PM	439: I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS! *splat* 440: Well there goes the neighborhood. 441: For the last time zombies do not exist! *a skeptic about to face 30 zombies*
Whisper_Swiftblade 04-06-06, 07:19 PM	142:bring it 143:prove it 144:kill it 145:I bet I can catch it with my teeth 146: delishous you say... 147:I know a song that gets on everyboddies nervs.... 148:or die trying... 149: he looks freindly 150:wow your reeeeeely fat, I would die if I where that fat,thats not even the normal kind of fat thats a much fattyer kind of fat, whats it like to be that fat?(he said to the reely vain female wizard in our party)
Lord_Mephisto 04-06-06, 08:16 PM	At this point, I am flying about 300 feet above ground casting Magic Missiles and similar spells on Orcs trying to hit me with throwing spears and some crossbows. I am having a field day. DM: The Orc Sorcerer casts a spell, you cannot clearly identify it since you are too far away. ME: Bah! I am out of range! I don't care! (Orc Sorcerer casts fireball) ME: Wait! I am out of range! DM: *Raises eyebrow* ME: Oh! Wait! What is the range of a Fireball again? Surely, it is not... (BOOM!) At that point, I was hit for almost maximum damage, failed my reflex save and rendered unconceous though stable at -1 HP. The DM allowed me to stay in the air untill the Fly spell ended and died from falling damage... In the meantime, the Orcs finished off the rest of the party who waited for me to scout... Taught me a lesson... :D So, what's the famous last words? Oh! Wait! What is the range of a Fireball again? Surely, it is not... The damn thing has at least 400 feet plus more for each caster level! Damn it to hell! :rofl:
Anodai 04-06-06, 09:18 PM	the next post is #452, btw. please number your posts correctly!
shadowfox628 04-06-06, 09:41 PM	452. "Hello Mr.!" 453. "... I'm going to poke it." 454. "I'm going to shoot it in the crotch."
rudie 04-06-06, 10:33 PM	(we were raiding an old castle, we were level 2) Dm: you see a man reading a book, he is dressed in extravigant robes, he turns toward you, and his eyes glow red as he throws the book in the fire, the title sais "teachings of heironeous"...he smiles at you and you can see 2 sharp fangs zack: I shoot him with my crossbow
Whisper_Swiftblade 04-07-06, 05:19 PM	This one happened recently fighter (secretly evil):ha now that I have killed the cleric it's your turn rogue Rogue(me): that's what you think, the others will be back any second. *A battle takes place, the fighter wins* Fighter:any last words? rogue:yes, how do you like my new wounding dagger? fighter:What the heck's wounding mean? 146 rogue: It means DO NOT KILL THE CLERIC YOU FOOL!!!!! 1 turnlater the rogue was dead. 5 turns later the fighter was dead.
Lord_Mephisto 04-08-06, 10:06 PM	the next post is #452, btw. please number your posts correctly! Not that I really care, but why should the posts be numbered in the first place? I am just curious.
DegenerateElite 04-08-06, 10:18 PM	^ A little unorthodox as far as last words go, but i like it. Please number and put quotes around your last words though. #n where n is a variable between 0 and 1001 "Aboleths can't live in the middle of the ocean, it's probably just an illusion."
TheDarkDragonLord 04-09-06, 12:34 AM	148- Oh, the rogue won't mind if we just borrow his gold... 149- Hey, that's a big shadow..... 150- He doesn't look 'that' scary.... 151- Hey.....where did the rogue go? 152- Oh, I bet that won't hit me... 153- My reflex is so high, i can't be hit by anything! 154- Shiny!!!! 155- The Assassin won't attack me...... 156- Luke, I am your fath- 157- Hey.....your REALLY short.....(Looking at the epic level kobold) 158- Oil isn't THAT flammable..... 159- I'm going to steal the rogue's gold.... Remember, the rogue is your friend. ~Mr.Rogue~
Garble Willowwits 04-09-06, 12:26 PM	160- I cast Arcane Mark on his butt! Not quite last words, but if they found out it was me, they would have been :D
ToxicWiz 04-09-06, 01:46 PM	161- Run you fools! 162- where is that vampire he was talking about? (i now play a vampire spawn character) next one needs some background. PCs are trapped in a mansion with a assassin and afew other nobles. it's down to the PC and the assassin (posing as a noble). 163- take my dagger, i'm going to sleep. guard me. 164- wait that casts circle of death!
stargate525 04-09-06, 03:57 PM	165. There is NO ONE in my pants! (my human sorceror, after the king hears my crotch, aka the halfling under my robe, speak.)
Yunkel 04-10-06, 02:06 AM	166- I'm going to see how many damage it does (steps in front of the enemy). 167- Ready action Charge to anything that enters through that door 168- I dont know what you are, but I'll fight you anyway
Betrayer_of_light 04-10-06, 11:24 AM	Not that I really care, but why should the posts be numbered in the first place? I am just curious. Because the guy who started the thread did so, and it's a 1001 thread, so they get numbered. Guys, next one is No. 478. I have no idea where the 100s came from. Speaking of which: No. 478 (*Roll of thunder*): A little background first. Our bard was sitting on this stage in front of a big bunch of kiddies, having been tricked into reading a story book to them. (By our Joker-esque BBEG. He was fun...). So, he flips open the book, clears his throat and reads "Once upon a time, I prepared explosive ru-"
Twotall 04-10-06, 12:33 PM	Not a D&D quote, but still memorable last words... I was GM'ing a game of Vampire: The Masquerade, and had landed my characters in a desert environment without them knowing how it happened. Somehow, they got the idea that they were inside an illusion of some sort :looloo: Me: So, you are done blocking all the windows in the house, and the sun will be up in a few moments... Player One: I don't believe in this place. I don't think it's real, so I'm going to stand outside and watch the sun come up! The sun was real...
Swarms 04-10-06, 09:10 PM	479: I set it on fire
Archmage_Vall 04-10-06, 11:27 PM	480: What's a gazebo? _________________________ My Unitarian Jihad name is: Brother Pepper Spray of Loving Kindness
Legacychampion 04-11-06, 11:46 AM	481: That thing I'm trying to grapple is infernal? 482: Balor what? 483: Now, there's only one forseeable way that this could go wrong. (two great wyrrms show up) ...That was it. 484: You're under arrest! 485: Now, where'd that assassin get off to now? 486: I wonder what would happen if I mixed this carbonated drink with one of these pills that everyone says are smart(smarties)? What if I pour a ton of these smart pills into a vat of carbonated drink? 487: What does this button do? 488: Let me get this straight. We're A) being attacked by a six armed huge mutant and B) he's got a greataxe in each hand? Uhh...magic missles?
Count Nerindil Van Seraph 04-11-06, 05:54 PM	489) (From a particularly dim-wited warlock, surrounded by angry villagers) "Oh boy, a Pitchfork Party!" Poor guy. 490) "BUT WHY FERRETS?!" (My DM has a thing for giant rodents)
Anodai 06-18-06, 11:23 AM	the next one is post 492, some one put a number twice
LCD2YOU 06-18-06, 11:31 AM	492: Hey, anybody feel like chicken? (Cockatrice) 493: After getting rid of those evil cloud giants, I'm sure an Ogre type 4 (whatever that means) should be a peice cake. 494: 4 ranks deep of pikemen? Charge! 495: Nah, I'm sure that 6 legged lizard tastes like chicken too. (Basilisk)
NightBreeze 06-18-06, 03:22 PM	496. "oh...so those gems on the wall zap me if i get near? I jump!" (three 5d6 zaps and 5d6 falling damage later the barbarian know that it's better to have wizard solve the puzzle" 497. Ok we wander the castle seeking the invisible dragon. C'mon, i know he has domnate person at will, but that manual can't be serious! 498. Oww..dude, c'mon, you cant be seriuos.....Oww ****... 499. I use my broadsword as a catapult in order to hit the balor with this little rock! 500. Sigh.....ok, where are we now?
Ziggaraut 06-18-06, 03:33 PM	Fun with Fling Ally! 501. "Is that a gelatinou-" 502. "I thought I didn't provoke attacks of oppurtunity when thrown!" 503. "Wait, lemme cast Tenser's transformation first!"
Ziggaraut 06-18-06, 03:58 PM	277: No, this cannot be! I am INVINCIBLE! (A cookie for anyone who gets the reference) I know! Nope, Evil Overlord List (http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html) . Nope, not this. It's the Black Knight!
Kroska 06-18-06, 04:54 PM	504: I'm going to go into the forest and yell about how much hydra's suck. 505: The parties taking to long discussing things, i'm going on without them.
ElvenOutlaw 06-18-06, 07:00 PM	506. Just trust me....I'm a Professional... 507. This will all end in tears... 508. Figures the one day I don't memorize teleport out of my spellbook... 509. Fine ... fine... The kender can go in first... 510. So.. um ...your a wizard right? you know about magical creatures? Do know if it's possible to combine a red dragon and a giant scorpion? Um..'Cause if not you might wanna' tell him that he's not real then ::points behind wizard::....*gulp*
Zheon 06-18-06, 10:28 PM	#511. "i try to jump over him." #512. Rouge: I'll give you all this cash if you jump into the wierd looking water. Druid: hmm.. okay. #513. PC: okay, how much falling damage? DM: falling.. damage..? oh.. did i say there was a bottom? sorry. #514. "ive seen this done before.. im supposed to run up his tail, like this.."
Davos 06-18-06, 10:57 PM	DM: you hear a loud wooshing sound getting closer Me: what wooshing sound? as a huge catapault ball lands on top of me with no save because i apparently had no idea
tharivol266 06-19-06, 11:12 PM	just happened today: 515: Player: i move up to attack *rolls* crit miss no damage to him. dm: the corpses stand up off of the pews P1: WHAT!! -P1 next turn- P1: I attack the zombie *rolls nat 1,* dm: roll again P1: rolls * [house crit. fumble rule when you do it you have to roll to beat your own AC (he forgot about this)] 20(big smile)* dm: damage? P1: *2d6+4....max damage*(huge smile) dm: you take 16 points of damage P1: *glances at character sheet* damn im at -4 and i thought i just completly creamed on of them. *fails four fort saves in a row as the cleric cannot get to him to cast.* 516: P2: I turn undead *rolls low* nothing. damn -next turn after taking 6 points of damage- I turn Undead *rolls low* nothing. damn -next turn at 2 hp- Turn undead *rolls low* damn nothing...**** i forgot to heal. -next turn -5 hp- okay so they both ended up pulling through. but only because they were fighting zombies who thought they were dead. i guess the lines to pull are "i attack the zombie" and "I turn undead"
madhatter619 06-20-06, 12:04 AM	516. What army? 517. Dear lord, you're ugly. 518. My, that's a lot of arms.... 519. Are you kidding me? Uranium probably doesn't EXIST in DnD... 520. (after long sequence of multiple betrayals...) Who needs AC? I've got 36 strength! 521. (Epic cont specialist fighter with total fort bonus +54) Anyone wanna do a drinking contest? 522. Whatdya MEAN monks can't get drunk? 523. Mercy? You want mercy? I'M CHAOTIC NEUTRAL! 524. Dear lord, tarrasques can have SCYTHES? 525. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? 526. Look at him! He probably can't even LIFT a sword!
PortapottyPunk 06-20-06, 03:58 AM	527: Hmm...it's rigged...oh master dwarf, come here will you? 528: TREE-TREE-TREE! 529: ...walkin' down the street singin' Do wa didy dum didy do! 530: Dragon's are over-rated. 531: But it's so cute! 532: Hold my cape, I don't want it to get dirty. 533: Don't you owe me some gold? 534: I just have one thing to say to that. *Estragates obnoxious gas* 535: Tastes kind of funny... 536: Well, he does look like his mother, but the only thing he has in common with his father is his big, round, easy to kick bottom.
Secrets Untold 06-20-06, 11:32 AM	537: I fire straight up at the birds! 538: Hey! Look! A crow! Let's kill it! (It was a trickster god :D)
Pallin Rahl 06-20-06, 04:52 PM	539: "It's not like anything is going to kill me in one hit or anything..." -Krits Actual statement made by the Barbarian PC in a new campaign I recently joined. ...we got a chuckle out of that. ...particularly the DM (though his was more of the evil variety). :D The Barbarian is still with us - so not technically his "last words", but I'm sure they'll be harkened to if he indeed does fall in a swift manner hehe
Zaku 06-20-06, 04:58 PM	540: "Relax guys, just because one trap killed the donkey doesn't mean...ack!" 541:"Ok guys, when I jump, Orky here will throw me onto the frost giant" 542: (after zapping friends with magic staff)"Hey guys I think its broken. Whoa a giant bla..."
Emjaysmash 06-20-06, 05:56 PM	543. Vecna? I always thought he was a girl...
TheGreenGriffon 06-20-06, 06:34 PM	544. "Ok when I nod my head you hit it." (The Half orc Barbarian helps the rogue pound in some tent pegs) 545. "Wow look at all that loot!" 546. "I dont think it saw us" 547. "I dont need an identify spell, I know what this is"
hollow_ghost 07-27-06, 01:13 PM	548. Barbarian: "Duh. Tied-up naked hotty!" *charges* hotty was a wizard (me). didnt have any metamagic. only a very loyal raven. and a kind DM one round later Barbarian: "OWWWWW!!!" He didn't die, but his reproduction check is at -11.
Secrets Untold 07-27-06, 06:10 PM	Lvl 20 Wizard used wish to summon the last igredient for unlocking immortality (long, story). Anyways, right after he completed it, thousands of scythe-weilding shadows poured into the room. His last words, "I'M IMMORTAL, BOW DOWN BEFORE ME, FOR YOU CANNOT HARM ME!!!" The shadows chopped him up into hundrends of peices and put each one in a seperate jar. He was alive, just in seperate peices.
vogster 07-28-06, 07:29 AM	550: It's ok, he would have to roll max damage on a crit to kill me...
Monsco 07-28-06, 08:35 PM	455: "Oh, yeah? well, you cant hurt me, I have-"
Kirak 07-28-06, 09:00 PM	551) Well it seemed like a great idea at the time...
RoCkEtInToXiCaTe 07-28-06, 09:18 PM	552) "for Glory!"
Mindolin 07-28-06, 09:40 PM	553. The quasit is a familiar, right? I cast lightning bolt to roast it. Last words of a draconic sorcerer npc I played after the Dwarven fighter I had been playing got blasted by a fire storm. A ritual had just been completed that had summoned a balor. We were in a temple with an open roof, and I was the only character that could fly, so I started out of there. Somehow, the quasit was bound to the Balor like a wizard and familiar, so I decided to buy my friends some time by taking out the quaist. Apparantly, the DM had some sort of a house rule that said that a familiar touching the master gained all the special qualities, such as immunity to electricity and spell resistance. As it turned out, I only made the Balor mad, and found out that no matter how fast I could fly, the balor could teleport faster. The sorcerer was ripped into many pieces afterwards. And all this happened at level 6.
Malcaor 07-28-06, 11:10 PM	554: Me/But i thought demons died i a cross touched their forehead? DM/Sorry, we aren't playing some crappy catholic game.
ChaoticAwsome 07-29-06, 03:41 AM	555. I bet i can tie up that giant roach!
R99 07-29-06, 10:49 AM	556: "Wow, the Tarasque"
Dramorez 07-29-06, 01:14 PM	557: Last one of the stairs is a baked peanut! 558: So THAT's what this button does! 559: Me Rhuk! Me big! Me - 560: Now if I just add a bit of blackroot.... 561: *Bard singing* 562: eh..ehehh...ehehhheh..EHBWHAHHAHAHAHHAHA AAAHAAAAHAAAAA -
tharivol266 07-29-06, 01:27 PM	563: he's flying below me? I grapple him
E. Ravenwood 07-29-06, 03:36 PM	564. We Come in Peace... 565. No, I don't think they can see us from here... 566. This might be a stupid question, but... 567. Yes, hello, I'm from the Drow Humane Society... 568. Did you hear something ??? 569. Oops... 570. (out of Character) Dude, It's cool, the only way this won't work is if I roll a 1... 571. You'd have to an idiot to put a trap here... 572. (once again out of character) What? You can't sneak attack undead... 573. Hey guys, here's a hypothetical question... 574. (To the Rogue, both in and out of Character) WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO ??? Last, but certainly not least, my personal favorite... 575. Genie, make me a Ham Sandwich !!!
vogster 07-30-06, 02:53 PM	575. Genie, make me a Ham Sandwich !!! ROFL
Emjaysmash 08-01-06, 09:36 AM	576. "Anyone wanna come with me and poke the illithid-God Brain?"
R99 08-01-06, 10:09 AM	577: It's a RAT FLAIL!!!
AJ_Impy 08-01-06, 10:20 AM	578:"Away from me, uncompetitiveness!" A Goliath fending off a Phantasmal Killer.
metamind 08-01-06, 11:16 AM	579: LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOY JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 580: Leroy, you are just stupid as hell.
Pangeon 08-01-06, 11:17 AM	"Do you think he'll take a bribe?"
Ysera_the_destroyer 08-01-06, 12:04 PM	579: LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOY JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 580: Leroy, you are just stupid as hell. That clip from World of Warcraft was so funny. :D 581: What do you mean he doesn't listen to me? (after trying to raise a mindflayers attitude of me with diplomacy)
Moniker 08-01-06, 01:12 PM	582. "I see the tables have turned!" Ethyk Tobias, Planewalker to a wounded Vrock that he's about to push off a ledge...without realizing the Vrock is grappling his legs as Ethyk shoves
Rickiel 08-01-06, 01:43 PM	583: I've seen better days. 584: Well well well! Look who's talking now! 585: Are you gonna eat that ? 586: WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! 587: Can I have a last request? 588: What precisely makes you think you can defeat me? 589: That's....a pretty big crossbow. 590: CAPTAIN! WE'RE TAKING ON WATEH DOWN'ERE! I NEED MORE POWERRRRRRR! 591: Cookie? :bigeyes: 592: I don't suppose you're the kind, gentle, welcoming committee? 593: There's no way they'd pack a thousand geletaneous cubes into a single room! 594: Dragons? Dragons aren't real! It's just propaganda by the kingdom to make you afraid! Watch I'll prove it! 595: What was that clicky noise?
Fat Man 08-02-06, 09:59 AM	596 (OOC) one of us will have to make the confuse will save ventuly 597 Taste my fiery wrath foul deamon (to a sucubus) She turned out to have back up a balor And the best last word in the history of man gnome notices an unmarked button in a kobold dugeon 598 FOR SCIENCE
Ysera_the_destroyer 08-02-06, 12:08 PM	599: What do you mean he walks through the tavern door? I thought we tied him up to a tree with an amulet of call evil around his neck? 600: I throw my alchemists fire into the alcohol cellar.
metamind 08-02-06, 12:30 PM	601: ...'Least I have chicken. 602: Listen orc, we elves are far superior to you in every way, sha- AAURGH!
Ashok_Lal 08-03-06, 01:46 AM	603. It cant have to many HP left, ill stay engaged It did't have many HP but i could not hit the broad side of a barn.
WarColonel 08-05-06, 01:06 PM	My group has been forced to look it up. You will ALWAYS hit the broad side of a barn.
speeblefreak 08-05-06, 03:33 PM	604. No! This cannot be! I am INVINCIBLE!!! 605. I am glad you are on my side. 606. What do you mean, my shadow is getting larger? 607. I look down my crossbow to see why it's not working. 608. Any chance of ending the session before I hit bottom? 609. Something smells funny. 610. This doesn't hurt as much as I expected. 611. This hurts a lot more than I expected. 612. Plan B? We already tried your mental defecation of a Plan B. It didn't work. In fact, as your plan Bs are wont to do, it made things worse than ever. That, my short friend, is why we are naked, defenseless, and about to be torn apart and eaten by Demogorgon's pet kraken. MUST I REMIND YOU AGAIN?!
Copper_Coins 08-14-06, 08:00 AM	613- "Oh. I get immunity to poison NEXT level." 614- "Wildshape doesn't increase my HP anymore??!" 615- "Eek." 616- "C'mon... He's only a LESSER Deity." 617- "Look dude, the Drow with 2 scimitars thing... It's been done before." 618- "I sure hope this is a wand of cure light wounds..." 619- "ARMOUR CHECK PENALTY?!" 620- "I'd like my last words to be known as..." *splat* 621- "Lets play cards!" *pulls out a deck of many things*
Rafe_113 08-14-06, 05:05 PM	622. Oh....That's not good..... 623. The WHAT plane? 624. Umm....How many did you say? 625. Are you sure a 26 doesn't hit? 626. What'd you say about saving for half? 627. Look....There are neat little symbols wrote over the door frame. 628. How bad could it be? 629. Oh....That IS bad. 630. So....did you say you heard a growl?
Drodain 08-14-06, 05:19 PM	631: OOC to a DM: i bet you $1 my character you could beat the tarrasque in a grapple 632: Cleric: I shoot at C'thulu 633: So THATS what a fully advanced Colossus looks like 634: What do you mean the Wall of force shattered from the explosion? 635: The explosion hit every plain?!?! Wait even the......
gLytch 08-14-06, 10:36 PM	636) (Players talking among themselves) He wouldn't do that. 637) An aspect of who now? 638) Don't worry, it's only a pile of bones.
Rickiel 08-14-06, 11:57 PM	639: (in Thumper's voice) Watch what I can do! 640: There's only three ways out of this. The easy way. The hard way. Or MY way! :mad: 641: What do you mean he turns me into a door? 642: My friends can't afford to turn me back into a person and now they're going to install me at the front tavern door? 643: Oh please! You're all exaggerating! It can't be THAT tough! 644: Apparantly it can. 645: So... 4d6 drop lowest? 646: This is where we seperate the men from the boys! 647: I didn't know they were Amazons! 648: Remember the words on the back of the book guys! It's written in large, friendly letters! Don' *squash* 649: ARE WE MEN OR MICE! 650: Not another polymorphing session... 651: Just because he's as tall as Unicron, has as deep a voice as Unicron, and looks like Unicron, does not mean he's out to devour our planet! 652:......cupcakes anyone? 653: I can handle this. I know the Universal Greeting! 654: So...dire pigeons exist... 655: So what if I don't look both ways? It's not like a car gets a surprise round! Right?
vogster 08-15-06, 02:09 AM	656: Hold my beer and watch this!
Sarrazon 08-15-06, 01:23 PM	(in a FR campaign) 657-i charge the wimpy dual-welding drow!
Eli_Baenre 09-11-06, 03:00 AM	actual last words, i miss these guys... 658- I'll be right back :bigeyes: 659- How tough can a rope be? 670- Cool! a portable hole....."I put the hole in my bag of holding" :banghead: 671- Humph....as if my level 18 fighter can lose to a nymph.... 672- -in a methane filled swamp fighting kobolds- screw this...i cast a maxamized fireball down.... 673- you know guys, that cave entrance almost looks like a mouth....and those stalagmites almost look like teeth and those eyes....eyes :weep: :dragon: 674- ummmm....can anyone here counterspell meteorswarm? 675- what is meteorsw....... 676- He cant be a vampire....I am carrying garlic and he is'nt repulsed 677- I am unkillable!!!! 678- player: I wish to be immortal dm: are you sure that is how you are phrasing your wish? :confused: player: yes dm: positive? :confused: player: yes dm: ok....player is now turned into a sentient marble statue :nonono: 679- its ok, since we are evil aligned, the dragon will be on our side dm- :evillaugh 680- I lunge at the dragon with my dagger
wackywizjr 09-11-06, 12:27 PM	681 "There are two ways to do this, My way and the right way,and we are going to do it My way!"
Harrowdroth 09-11-06, 12:33 PM	682 "look at the cute little gnomy, coochi coo," *crunch* 683 "HOLY HE...."
Loto_GoCeraf 09-11-06, 02:20 PM	684 - What're you talking about, "Uluu Thanlongh...?" 685 - ...Does anyone hear drums? 686 - Hey, look! Those animals are running from something. Let's check it out! 687 - Let's hope my sonic cone doesn't destroy the bridge. 688 - The antimagic field won't affect my psionic fly, eh? 689 - Well, only one thing to do. Time to grapple a dragon. 670 - I'm going to hold my action. 671 - Hey, the bigger they are, the harder they fall, right? 672 - C'mon, he can't take ALL of us, right?
Anwynd 09-11-06, 02:34 PM	690 - "Hah. I can handle this. Go on ahead and I'll catch up to you."
metamind 09-11-06, 03:18 PM	691: Words from an "experienced" player: While they try to unlock the door, I keep exploring the dungeon.
Rickiel 09-11-06, 03:31 PM	692: Look there! A bunny! 693: GAH! RUNAWAY! HE'S NOT A BUNNY! HE'S A LAGOMORPH! 694: Looks like a rolling rock trap. Time to pull an Indy :) 695: If I compared your astounding mental capacity to a chair, would I be doing the chair a disservice? (said with a straight face to a great wyrm red dragon) 696: There comes a time for everything. Today, it is your smiting! 697: You look kinda top heavy. Want me to carry those for you? 698: Fiendish awakened monkeys with wings? There's no such thing. 699: Sayyyy, I know you! You're the guy I was supposed to ki- 700: I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS CAPTAIN PLANET!
Slightly_Unscrewed 09-11-06, 03:48 PM	700: I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS CAPTAIN PLANET! :uh-huh: ...I'd like to know the story behind that...
Rickiel 09-11-06, 04:11 PM	Originally Posted by Slightly_Unscrewed :uh-huh: ...I'd like to know the story behind that... Well, to make a long story short, we fought against an evil druid who possessed green hair and blue skin. And we sadly lost :(
Grod_The_Giant 09-11-06, 05:04 PM	701. PC: "c'mon, the DM wouldn't put in something that's way stonger then us..." DM: "of corse not..." :devil: 702. "you can't kill me 'cause i have magic ar-"
Magus Gar Kan 09-12-06, 11:09 AM	My group has been forced to look it up. You will ALWAYS hit the broad side of a barn. Let me counter that with: 703: Anything but a 1.
Alakar 09-12-06, 12:43 PM	704: (Does math) He'de have to have like a Spot modifier of a God to see me 705: He's in full plate, he couldn't be a spellcaster 706: Hey guys, where's the mage? 707: Lets Split up 708: If there is one thing I know, it's Koblolds 709: What would Elminster do? 710: Sure I know what this spell does 711: I hope you guys have good reflex saves 712: If I were a doppleganger, where would I hide?
Alcari Ambaron 09-12-06, 01:59 PM	wow, almost at a thousand not counting all the doubles of course 713) I didn't say there are no trap, just that I didn't find a..... 714) It's just a skeleton with it's guts still attached.
chava 09-12-06, 05:25 PM	715) Dammint, I need someone with a better spot check over here. ...stupid ninjas going invisibile...
Harrowdroth 09-13-06, 12:45 PM	716: The half-drow rogue comes to the door, Player: "I listen to see if anything is behind the door" Dm: rolls some dice, "nothing" Player: "ok, I knock on it" DM: Chuckles "are you sure?" Player: "yes I knock on the damned door" Dm: Smash, " the door just off of its hinges and smashed you into the wall" Player: "WHAT?!" DM: "and boy is that bugbear P***ed" ____ 716: Half-orc cleric player hands the DM a note saying he is going to try and kill the Fighter npc. Dm: "ok whatever." Player: rolls attack "YAY a 19!" Dm: "the fighter blocks the attack with her shield and knocks you out with here gauntlet." player: "f***" DM: "she then drags you over to the room with the 65ft cieling and hog-ties you, then uses a pullie on the cieling to hoist you to the roof, Whilst you are unconsious" Player: looks rather glum. about an hour Later (ingame) Dm: "okay you wake up with a massive headache and are upside down on the cieling" Player: "great!:D, I chew through the ropes." DM: "Ok you fall 60 feet and land on an oak table". Player: :eek: "oh crap"
FateSpinnerXXIII 09-14-06, 10:07 AM	717: Dm:*Rolls dice*, Whats your AC? Player: Not high enough... *Spalt* 718: Dm: The Goblin uses his wand and throws a fireball at you. All Players: We made are saves. Dm: The Goblin uses his wand and throws a fireball at you again. Most Players: We made are saves. Bard: I failed. Dm: You take no damage. All Players: Its a Illusion Fireball wand! The Goblin throws a fireball at you. All Players: We choose to disblieve. Dm: *Rolls dice* All Players: Mother Fu:censored: Dm: *Smiles* 719: Player: Whats a butterfly dragon.....? *looks at picture in MM* Cool! I try to enslave him.............. What level is my new character going to be? *Ask the player to the Dm.*
aceland 09-14-06, 02:27 PM	719 Come on one more door. 720 "Hi my name is grackey. I am to weak to come in and fight one on one." This was done by a monk using the head of a very young dragon as a puppet to another black dragon. 721 "I can steal from the kings archmage and not get caught trust me."
feartheinvinceblehamster 09-14-06, 09:54 PM	722: Man, the DM's BF/GF is ho- *BOOM!!!* 723: Man, the DM's BF/GF is hideo- *BOOM!!!*
SunTzuWarmaster 09-14-06, 10:19 PM	724 Before entering the city, having spend months (game and real time) travelling to: "Does your king happen to have the Legendary Sword?" "Yes" "Can we buy it?" "It is not for sale" "WE HAVE LOTS OF MONEY!" 725 "I can control this elemental for as long as I concentrate on it, as long as I don't roll below 5%" (*dies after one round of lost control*) 726 "I still have plenty of hitpoints left" I won't count it, but I feel like adding a killing blow here: "I cast my Death scroll" *rollrollroll* "he fails his resistance, and makes the save" "did you remember to subtract one due to prayer?" ACTUALLY killed the Desert Dragon
dragonfire8974 09-15-06, 01:50 AM	727. don't worry, if i blow up the door, then there's no way the trap can be sprung 728. dm: the girl is pulling you to a hut. she, like everyone else in the village, can only speak "errg" p1: okay i follow here p2: i think i'll go to the bar and give them some time alone. comeon errg, i'll buy you a drink the girl was a demon in diguise. one on one, right next to eachother, the psion was no match for her. he was angry. 729. damnit, noone gets away with that!
dragonfire8974 09-15-06, 01:51 AM	730. oh you're going to pay for that
Nyarlathotep 09-15-06, 01:12 PM	(Spoken in a Ravenloft Campaign) 731. "They can't ALL be werewolves!"
metamind 09-15-06, 03:54 PM	(Last session) 732: Okay, I accept the dragon's quest. Also, I ask him if he can fly me to the city.
ardh05 09-16-06, 12:45 AM	733:(said to a troll, half red dragon, half Iron golem) Come on, D*** it... you still haven't answered my question!! 734: Wasn't there an elf here a minute ago??
Saberus 09-16-06, 11:51 AM	735: P1:It won't bother us, unless we have food P2:but it might think we're food. DM:Yes, yes it does...:evillaugh :devil: 736: It's just a little kobold! This should be easy guys! Uh, Guys?
speeblefreak 09-16-06, 08:00 PM	737. I take it back! I TAKE IT BACK! 738. Ooh, shiny... 739. If I could survive that ambush, I can survive anyth-- 740. I slide down the stairs Legolas-style. (rolls a 1 on Balance) 741. Gee, this candle is burning down fast. 742. I cast earthquake. DM: While you're in the Underdark tunnel?! Player: Yeah, why do you ask? :eek:(sometimes followed by 737) 743. I go for a swim. 744. You can't possibly stop me! I have a katana! 745. That...did not go according to plan. 746. Is it just me, or do you guys hear a creaking sound? 747. I start prying the gems out of the skull. 748. Guys? Guys? 749. DM: You see a fairly large structure made of wooden beams. Nearest you is a very long angled beam with a large box attached to the far end, pretty high in the air. PC: I sit down on the end to relax...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGH! 750. DM: The room is filled with boxes and barrels. A box near you is leaking some dark power. PC: I inspect the powder, bringing my torch close to it so I can see better.
I_Strahd 09-16-06, 11:26 PM	751: player: i dont think thats right. im going to look that up. 752: he's bluffing. i can tell. 753: lets take him along. what could it hurt. 754: i've seen bigger. 755: nooo. its a candel. BOOM! 756: player: yeah, look that up.
Saberus 09-16-06, 11:57 PM	757: why are you rolling all those dice, AGAIN?!? 758: I pull the stopper on the flask...(ooc- Your rolling up HOW MANY demons?)
Lord_Varos 09-17-06, 12:17 AM	759. "Men! The Devils' army lies just ahead! Everyone, draw your cold iron swords and charge!"
LordKanti 09-17-06, 10:02 PM	*Im a 3rd level in a 4-7 doungen*...*omg i HATE my dm...* They're just gaint ants!I can take them!:fight!:
kronos451 09-19-06, 11:03 AM	I have to give a little back story for this. In TWLD our party of six or seven came across this 9th level goblin wizard (most of the party is 5th level and lower) we were getting our a$$es handed to us so I (highest level in the party) the only psion used energy ray(fire) and augmented the attack with like three or four of the party members in the room engaged in combat. 762.wait..... 763.You stupid 764.:weep: all I said was MOVE and like three of them in the room died along with the wizard I got a reflex for half damage witch took me to -6 or 7 the rouge became the shied for the wizard who also took half damage and we wound up making a npc out of the pc we were waiting for to show up to save our sorry a$$es. It was fun.
Death_By_A_Thousand_Cuts 09-19-06, 02:42 PM	765.shut up your a rubbish DM 766.whats his strenght modifier!?! Recruting Vampires (http://world4.monstersgame.co.uk/?ac=vid&vid=47040232)
Lunar_Shadow 09-23-06, 09:52 PM	767: Bite me (To a red dragon, with bothe fingers raised, yeah I realized that was a bad idea but did it anyway)
Grod_The_Giant 09-23-06, 10:00 PM	lol 768: barbarian: <grunt> what this say? Ugh no care! Me go through door anyway!" wizard: Wait! The sign said "beware of-" <loud, draconic roar. barb screams. crunching sound> wizard: "-dragon!"
supernerd8916 10-01-06, 05:35 PM	767: That's not a red dragon *bluff check on the DM*
tharivol266 10-01-06, 07:02 PM	its only a(n) *insert any one word description*
speeblefreak 10-01-06, 11:56 PM	PC: I look at myself in the mirror. DM: As you stare at your reflection, a dot of red light moves onto your forehead. (769) PC: Well, I can't imagine what that's supposed to be. *thack*
Shadowcastr 10-02-06, 12:34 AM	770(While bull rushing a troll down a hallway): Pc: Fireball, Fireball, Fireball...I'll save just do it dammit. -In all fairness i really didnt die from the fireball i died while trying to grapple the cave troll a turn later, he rent me in two, it hurt, but the fireball helped, i went to -37 hit points. Favorite last conversation with Dm and player calculating hit points: DM: How many hitpoints did you have? PC: Do negative hitpoints count? DM: No Pc: Does Carl Glittergold care? DM: No PC 2: Does Pelor care? i am a faithful servant? DM: No PC 3: Does...(DM cuts him off) DM: Smite, we good now? OK, back to the troll.
Magus Gar Kan 10-02-06, 11:48 PM	271. OOC like the DM could ever afford the Collosal red dragon.
Napoleon_the_Clown 10-03-06, 12:09 AM	272. That seer said I would die with white hair, I'm not afraid! *gets hit with a transmutation spell that turns him into a drow* Son of a- 273. I die, don't I? 274. Dragon shaped shadow? 275. Oh come on, what're the odds the dragon will get back as I'm looting it's lair? 276. But I thought trolls were too stupid for that... 277. [In front of the well equipped high level town guards. While at level three.] I kill the shopkeeper and take anything of interest he has! 278. Why did you just roll?
Tsushi 10-03-06, 02:30 PM	Might have the numbers wrong now sorry about that. 771. Put that torch out I see better in the dark. 772. What do you mean there is more then one? 773. The egg is as big as I am? WHAT? 774. She's just a bar maid. 775. CURSES!!!! 776. Perhaps we should try talking to it first. 777. Why me, Why today. covers his face.
Alcari Ambaron 10-03-06, 07:17 PM	778 - Don't worry, it'll hold 779 - Just do like we practised ok? 780 - just stay calm and noone gets hurt! 781 - nothing a little "subtle persuasion" won't solve
Darkness is good 10-03-06, 11:08 PM	782:KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!! !!! 783:SHOOP DA WHOOP!!! (I am NOT kidding) 784:Wait, Wasn't Chunnin higher than Jounin? 785:yeah right, like the final door would have a trap. 786: Player:I put on my robe and wizard--- Dm: lighting flashes and deals you 20d10 damage, no save.
speeblefreak 10-04-06, 12:10 AM	787. I forgot to ask--what's your [the DM's] policy on wishes?
sipmalice 10-04-06, 10:16 AM	We made camp and I was a drow arcane archer (NE) that was on watch: DM: Make a spot check. Me: *rolls* uhh 18. DM: For the most part everything seems ok, except that shadow you just saw moving. Me: I draw my bow and knock an arrow. DM: Uh... ok Me: Can I still see the shadow? DM: Yeah. (788) Me: I unload on it :devil: DM: *slaps forhead* I proceeded to make my full attacks (something like 3 shots with rapid fire or something) and I never hit... but I alerted the drow female of my presence and then she dominated me :weep: :weep:
Keevo_Darkwood 10-04-06, 12:53 PM	...but I alerted the drow female of my presence and then she dominated me :weep: :weep: You say that like it's a bad thing. :D
trapspringer 10-04-06, 07:46 PM	789: Hold ma' Beer. 790: Watch this. 791: It's ok, I'm a Dwarf, I've got a good fort save.
Magus Gar Kan 10-10-06, 12:33 PM	792: PC1: Ok, so in order for this plan to work, all we need is the following list of Items. PC2: *Looks over list* 600,000 gold! how could it possibly cost that much!? PC1: Oh, most of that is going to cover the atonements we'll need after this. DM: :waits: 793: Yes I have all of the dice I use for warhammer with me. Why do you ask?
RobbyPants 10-10-06, 01:24 PM	794) A Deck of Many Things?!? Awesome!!! I draw ten cards!!!
Bahamut_the_Gold 10-12-06, 12:57 AM	795 Red Neck Fighter: "Hold my sword and watch this."
rudie 10-12-06, 01:01 AM	796. It looks weak, I think ill take it bare handed
Maekrix_Waere 10-12-06, 11:43 PM	797: OOC: Don't worry, I have Improved Evasion. 798: NOT IN THE FACE! 799: OOC: Am I still unconcious? 800: (Reading from a note that appeared after pressing a bright red button) Welcome to the center of the dungeon, you have now armed all the traps. Please, have a nice day, and try not to get any blood on the upholstery. Yours Truly, Grimtooth
Carnor_Jax 10-13-06, 12:01 AM	801 "But why would they do that?" 802 "I wail on his legs" 803 "You see a group of ...." "I charge them" 804 "Don't worry a boar can't have vorpal tusks" 805 "DIP OUT"
Lunar_Shadow 10-13-06, 08:45 AM	805: :censored: :censored: :censored: mother :censored: :censored: :censored: hole :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: piece of crap! (To the DM)
Keevo_Darkwood 10-13-06, 11:04 AM	806) Any variation of "It's over", "It's dead", or "I/We killed it." This is especially true in any scenario even remotely connected with horror-type elements.
Maekrix_Waere 10-18-06, 05:38 PM	:bump::bump::bump::bump::bump:
therimorethegreat716 10-19-06, 10:33 AM	803: Rouge: *Looks at the Tarrasque* "Hmmm, we beat a red dragon before. This should be easy." Tarrasque: *Steps on Rouge* Rest of party: *Starts running off*
Napoleon_the_Clown 10-19-06, 03:46 PM	804. Anything starting with profanity. 805. ...*player starts crying* 806. (I know someone that had this one happen) The frost worm does what when it dies?!
Ramboses 12-01-06, 07:59 PM	807: I don't care if he's a deity, he has stats, we can kill him (not really my last words but they were words that got us killed never the less) 808: HOW MANY DICE DO YOU HAVE TO ROLL?!! 809: Wait, portable holes don't have air? 810: I don't need your food, I'm a vampire. 811: Excuse me, good centaur, would you mind pointing me to Castle Ravenloft? 812: I wanna cast magic missle. 813: With great power comes great responsiblity. 814: Just tie it around my neck and pull me across. (The last one was made by a halfling who threw out his back trying to lift a tree off of some children who were hiding, he then instructed them to tie a rope around his neck and drag him across a rope bridge, sigh)
DyingHopes 12-02-06, 10:20 AM	815 - Come on! He has no weapons! 816 - How deep could it be? 817 - I am gonna smash your head and cut all of your limbs off! 818 - Surrender! You have no chance! 819 - How do you mean 'missed'. 820 - Hah! 821 - Was that a threat? 822 - Are you kidding me? This little goblin? 823 - Yeah... Do you a expect me to belive that? 824 - Dont worry. 825 - It is not loaded. 826 - Clear...
bawb44 12-02-06, 09:50 PM	827. All hail Vecna......
speeblefreak 12-02-06, 11:07 PM	828. *seizes Head of Vecna* Its power is now mine! A :cookie: to those who get the reference. A :gift: to those who get both references.
ConclaveKing 12-03-06, 01:05 AM	829:Don't worry, they're not expecting us 830:This liquid smells kinda sweet, wonder how it tastes 831: I saw this on a movie once! 832: Do WHAT!?!
Grod_The_Giant 12-03-06, 07:51 AM	828. *seizes Head of Vecna* Its power is now mine! A :cookie: to those who get the reference. A :gift: to those who get both references. the head of vecna story in my sig ;) 833. I run away from the gazeebo :P
speeblefreak 12-03-06, 11:42 AM	the head of vecna story in my sig ;) Congratulations! Here is your :cookie: Now can you win the :gift:?
Keevo_Darkwood 12-03-06, 11:51 PM	Congratulations! Here is your :cookie: Now can you win the :gift:? I know I can. "Its power is now MINE!" is part of an entry on the oh-so-marvelous Evil Overlord list. :devil:
lone_ranger_84 12-04-06, 10:24 AM	A character actually said this when he Walked into a Room With 8 Drow and a Cloaker 834- Ooo A Challege He didnt actually die but the rogue in the Party did and another party member had to dump a healing potion ddown his thought because he was down to negative eight hit points.