Post/Author/DateTime	Post
ghost_image 01-14-06, 10:30 PM	If youve ever killed an enemy in a creative, strange , sadistic, or just plain hilarious way :rofl:, please brag about it here.... :fight!: :ghosted: 1.We were in a completely pitch black room, and nobody had drk vsn... Me(Bard): I cast "light" on one of my cards and fling it into the room. Dm: Roll a d% Me: :confused: oooookay......95 Dm: you have hit a dire rat in the eye, it is constantly losing hp and is always flat footed evryone: :OMG! 2. (New campaign/different party) We infultrated a thieves guild to retrieve someones daggar (a family hierloom). We were all lvl1 and didnt want to fight head on. So we infultrated the kitchens, bribed the staff and poisoned the main course. Our rouge disguised himself as a member of the guild and bound me w/ some shackles from the dungeon (a few members had seen me and would have attacked on sight if I tried to serve the food alone). Rouge: Get in there *gives me a kick* Me (Monk): Grrrr... Guild member #1: Alright ya caught im' Rouge: yeah he was nothin' Member#2: Well, serve the food!!! Rouge: *kicks me again* I put the food on the table and we hastily retreat to the kitchen. We all listen intently to the sounds of the entire guild's explosive diarreah. :evillaugh :evillaugh :evillaugh Us: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
revaar 01-14-06, 10:45 PM	3: game was maybe 5th level, i was playing an stereotypical elven archer. the time had come for thr final confrontation with the BBEG of the story arc, whom my character had an extreme personal vedetta against. the partie's monk, who was LE i thnk, had grappled the BBEG and was attempting to make a deal. my charactor is oblivious to this, and decides to put 2 arrows into the villian's chest while he is helpless. somehow, the dice gods were on my side, and i roll 2 critical hits. Dm tel me i pretty much stapled him to the monk's chest. it was pretty awesome.
Kresalak 01-14-06, 11:28 PM	The Psychic Warrior in my game was attacked, at level 10, by a level 1 rogue after slaughtering said rogues guild. Me: Roll initiative. *PsyWar wins* Psychic Warrior: I attack it. *Rolls* Does 23 hit? Me: Yes. PsyWar: *Rolls damage* 20 damage. Me: You cut the rogue in half. He dies. PsyWar: What? Me: he was level one...
Kiklio 01-15-06, 02:31 AM	The best deaths involve insane maneuvers. So, we're fighting this hydra, and our party barbarian goes down. His body is tossed brutally into a nearby pit of a reasonable death. I, being the resident favored soul, revenance him back to temporary life. Party Barbarian: "I'm taking him down!" Everyone Else: "What?" He declares that he's going to jump up, grab the hydra's leg, and pull it into the pit with him. After a string of impressive rolls, he actually succeeds, pulling the Huge beast into an inescapable pit. Me: "What now?" Party Wizard: "Let's nuke it, it's not like we have to worry about hurting our friend...poor bastard" We then proceed to open up on the hydra with delayed blast fireballs and flamestrikes. It was hilarious. In another campaign, I realized the epitome of awesome. We're fighting a red dragon of unknown age, who we didn't even expect to fight. One member of the party was a ninja/shadowdancer. Party Ninja: "So, can I shadowjump into the dragon's stomach?" DM: "Are you serious?" Party Ninja: "Yeah..." DM: "All right, I'll allow it" On his subsequent turns, in addition to taking acid damage (which was no where near the beast's full attack/breath weapon damage) he proceeds to carve his way through the throat of the dragon using his icy burst dagger and wounding kris. He made the finishing blow, described as "your dagger pierces the bottom of the dragon's skull, unleashing cold fury onto its grey matter" Party Ninja: "So, did that kill it?" DM: "Pretty much, yeah. I'd say cold fury to the brain would kill most anything" Party Ninja: "Sweet...I can't believe that actually worked...high five!"
super_munchkin 01-15-06, 03:12 AM	our party was confronted with a dragon, of reasonably age. it would of been nigh impossible to defeat without some idea of what to do. we formulated a trap involving, 1 large log, alot of spikes, and surprise. step 1 - we build the trap step 2 - the dragon was drawn out by bait... one of the pc's step 3 - the pc zig zags in and out of different areas step 4 - the pc ducks, the dragon overruns and lands flat on the trap step 5 - slash into the helpless bleeding dragon stuck on the spiked log, dragon dead fast funny death - character just arrived on the scene to find the other party members under siege while infiltrating an orc encampment. the new arrival catches sight of the orc boss walking towards the other party members. drawing a bow he fires forth in an attempt to slow down the orc, somehow... the player inflicted a major critical and took down the (full of health) big boss we were to face. dm was dumbfounded.
Gailbraithe 01-15-06, 04:34 AM	I was running a Paladin in this campaign, and we'd been playing 3-4 a week for about eight months. We were finally in the final confrontation with these evil buggers who had been annoying us for months. One of them was an Anti-Paladin I really, really wanted to kill. The big brawl starts, and I call him out, mano e mano. We go at it, and are pretty evenly matched, just whittling each other down. After a few rounds, I'm hurt pretty bad, and can only take one more hit. He seems to be standing up better than I, as I've been rolling kind of lousy. We roll initiative and tie. DM rolls his attack, a hit, rolls damage and I'm dead - this was 1E, no -10 threshold stuff. I was a bit dissappointed. Looked like the bad guy won. Dm reminds me that our attacks were simo, and I need to roll to hit. I roll a 20. DM is using the old Dragon Magazine critical hit system, and I make my rolls and do something in the neighborhood of 35 points of damage to the guy with one blow. He drops instantly. Everyone is just starring. The DM takes a long pause, and explains what just happened: Bloody and staggering, I collapse down one one knee. The anti-paladin seeing an opening lunges forward, a high arcing blow. At the last second, I resurge and raise my spear (my paly fought with a long spear, and was a Mongol horseman, long story) and catch him under the ribs, lifting him off the ground has his sword bites deep into my shoulder. Both of our Gods, watching the fight with interest, see their champions falling and take action. His god transforms his blood into acidic poison which rains down on me, while my god causes my body to explode with the energy of the dawn sun (the "god" he worshipped). Everyone else in the room is suddenly slammed to the ground by the titatinc forces unleashed as good and evil come together like fire and gasoline. Never been so happy to see one of my own characters die. But I think the funniest kill I ever got was in a game of Earthdawn. We were flying in some sort of airship, and some evil flying think was flying around us giving us crap. It glides underneath the ship, and before the Dm can say anything else I shout out: "I leap off the side of the airship while drawing my sword. I twist in the air so I'm falling sword first and land on it." DM's jaw drops. Several players groan. Books are consulted, dice are rolled, and moments later I'm walking (barely) away from a nasty 150'+ fall broken by one very dead evil flying thing. Everyone at the table, most of whom were unused to my peculiar play style, was utterly shocked. Someone asked me why in the world I did that. "Guess its cause I'm the hero."
MasterOfPsychic 01-15-06, 05:35 AM	10. Well... Eh, we met a green dragon... A pretty old one.. Our DM expected us to really fight to kill it.. Round 1: Initiative... My dwarf won.... ME: I declare a jump attack... ((Jump Attack was a pretty broken abilltiy that time, but my DM fixed it, so it's basicly crap now..) Jump Attack was a dragoon class abillity that does double the damage from your attack... This also included criticals... Of course, my dwarf had just aquired an artifact dwarven waraxe with a x5 critical modifier....) I start rolling... "Does a XX hit him?" I asked.. My DM said yes.. I replied, in that case: he got 350 points of damage... My DM: :OMG! (Starts rolling DFMD...) Ok, he died... My DM was ******, for I slew that dragon that we were gonna accually escape from, and return to kill like 5 levels leter...
Shaggy_Shaggs 01-15-06, 06:43 AM	There was this one time I was playing a werebear barbarian and ran into a trio of bladesingers. I'd seen these things in operation before, knew they were better, and I was rather wary of getting close; they weren't familiar with me but being as I was this large mass of claws and teeth and anger they were on the wary side too. They delayed, I grabbed a nearby log and threw it at them... and they sundered it to sawdust in midair. :blink: Now I really didn't want to get close to those swords, but I had to do something, so I looked around for something else to throw, and found only a finger-sized twig. :doh: At this point I figured I was doomed anyway, so I pitched the little stick at one of the elves in a last gesture of defiance... critical hit... enough damage from strength alone to drive the twig through the elf's skull and out the back of his head, killing him instantly. :OMG! :ghosted: :OMG! The two remaining bladesingers came at me to counterattack, and being shaken they were not using the best tactics, and failed to connect. So then I was thinking, hey, these guys are brittle if you can actually hit 'em, and they're too horrified to fight properly......... :devil: :headexplo :fight!: I enraged, grabbed the dead elf and proceeded to beat the hell out of one of the remaining bladesingers with it. I took a lot of hits but managed to stay alive, they weren't rolling well on damage and couldn't get too much in over my damage reduction. By the time the second elf was disabled and the one in my hands was just a mushy stub, the last one lost it completely and panicked. :gah: I knew I'd been pushing my luck relying on savagery and their fear to keep me alive, and a lot of the blood on my fur was my own, so I let him run off when he morale broke, before he realized he could kick my :censored: if he just got over the pants-wetting terror and fought back hard. Still, two out of three ain't bad. :cool:
Zepherin 01-15-06, 06:56 AM	I was DMing a psionic campaign and the PCs had just arrived in a big lava filled chamber where they were supposed to fight a climatic battle against a flying bad guy while they tried to free their god. First round of combat the telepath casts death urge and the bad guy fails to resist and dives straight into the lava pool. Bit of an anticlimax...
geekling 01-15-06, 10:05 AM	We have A - me a not at all experienced D&D player at the point where this took place, and B - a (I suspect it was her first go at DM-ing) probably rather inexperienced DM. Situation; an epic level game, the PCs are doing something in a temple that houses a bronze dragon (currently in human form) that for some reason have taken a distinct dislike to my human Hexblade, but otherwise is at least not antagonistic to the party at whole. Mostly anything my character said seemed to irritate this dragon to no end and result in it frequently threathening to kill him. So he tried to stay silent, something this character was not very good at, while the dragon talked to another member of the party, delivering warnings about this and that and is halfway through explaining some plot point or another. Then all of a sudden, it turns on my hexblade again and makes some comment about how he better learn to control his tongue for humans are crunchy and taste well with ketchup, or something along those lines. Which just was a bit too much for my, rather arrogant and full of himself human. In any case it results in him snorting as he's trying, very hard to control himself and not fly off the handle again with this dragon as they don't really want to fight it. This dragon takes this snort as a deadly insult and reverts to his dragon form - inside this temple. DM, OK you are all pinned against the wall and *rolls* take X amount of damage from the preassure. Me, ermmm... How does that work? DM, he changed size, you're pinned between his body and the wall. Me, OK. Ummmm... just one question. DM, Sure. Me, Well, these armour spikes my character is wearing all over his armour. Wouldn't, the dragon injure itself on these spikes if it presses its body against them and there's a wall in the way on the other side? You know, like squeezing a hedgehog. (Now let it be stated, I was quite expecting the answer to be no. This question steemed from curiosity and as I said not knowing the rules very well.) DM, Errrr? Hold on. (Pause while DM tries to figure out, presumably asking her husband (an other player) and madly flicking through the books trying to find the answer. Or possibly just taking a break to make a cup of tea while deciding.) DM, What kind of armour spikes are they, are they enchanted or just plain ones? Me, +3, spellstoring. DM, Ok in that case. (pause) Roll a melee roll without strenght modifier. Me, *rolls* - high enough to hit and doing a fair bit of damage. DM, The dragon takes X damage from the armour spikes. Me, Ummm... oh and since he took damage, that means that the spell stored goes off too? Doesn't it? DM, Yes. Me, Then the spell vampiric touch is discharged. *rolling* Lots of damage done to dragon + my Hexblade's gains a shed load of temp HP. It might not have killed the dragon outright, but it was close enough.
Ganny.Harper 01-15-06, 10:13 AM	Death by pineapple. We're playing a swashbuckling campaign as the group made their way down the city streets in search of some bad guy, we were attacked by harpy ninja's. We had a guy who played for one time tee see what D&D was all about he played a bard. so the harpy ninja's attack, we battle them and wound them pretty badly in a final move the bard pick up a pineapple and chucks it at one of the harpies scores a critical hit confirms it and we have one harpy ninja less. Death by flower pot. In another campaign we had to fight a water elemental like creature in the harbour, the elemantal was in the water and diving in the ment certain death so everybody graps their ranged weapons and starts shooting. My monk doesnt have any ranged weapons so she just grabs whats nearby and starts to chuck it at the elemental slaying it with a flower pot in the end.
Shaggy_Shaggs 01-15-06, 10:14 AM	:rofl: Vampiric hedgehog of doom - sweet!
geekling 01-15-06, 10:35 AM	:rofl: Vampiric hedgehog of doom - sweet! The moral of the story is: Don't sit on Hexblades, for we art spikey and filled with doom.
elven warriorXX 01-15-06, 10:53 AM	:rofl: Vampiric hedgehog of doom - sweet! Pwnage for the Hedgehog :cool: Now back to your thread: Okay In a dragonlance Campaign we were fighting some, red/green hybrid Draconian. We were 13th level, I was a druid/barbarian, we had a Sorcerer and a Cleric. After killing his Golem we chased after him. Me (being the barbarian) got close to him and grappled him to the ground. He hit me off before the Sor/cleric could get there and went through a hole in the floor, I went down after him. He then opened a door on the side of the hole and went in, I through my axe and with very BAD rolls I hit the panel that closes the door...WHile he was right under it :P And SQWASH goes the Hybrid.
Rhomphaia 01-15-06, 11:01 AM	No dragons, elementals, ninjas or wizards. This was a strait up pwning of a ticked off ogre by a wizard and cleric (both level 2). Our group (monk, cleric and wizard) come upon a garrison town being attacked by goblins and hobgoblins. We fight for a few rounds and take some hits, use spells etc. The goblins are gradually getting beat back due to our efforts and the soldiers at the fort. Suddenly two goblins riding dogs come in leading an ogre with chains. Now my wizard had been keeping back from actual battle, and thus was reasonably near the ogre. The cleric was also pretty much in the path of the ogre. The cleric was also Enlarged (Strength domain) so he could stop the ogre. Now I had a decision to make. Do I let the cleric get stomped without preparation or do I do something to aid him and risk getting stomped in the process. I went for it, stepped out in front of the ogre, just outside its reach and cast Color Spray. It fails its save and is stunned for one round. The cleric comes in and swings at the ogre. Critical threat. Confirmed. Maximum damage. He gutted that ogre with one blow. The poor ogre never had a chance.
TheModernSamurai 01-15-06, 12:12 PM	so we walk into the first room and there are a bunch of Illithid sorcerers. I'm a 12th level kineticist with a dwarven fighter and a creepy monkey thing... Me: (rolls initiative, wins 2nd) DM: The Illithid in the back moves up and begins to cast a spell. Kineticist Me: I move to the corner and use an augmented Breath of the Black Dragon. (Rolls damage. None of the Illithids succeed the save.) DM: :eek: they all... drop... Everyone Else: I take two steps away from him...
PinkVishnu 01-15-06, 03:26 PM	I was once playing an epic psychic warrior, and we had just finished killing this big bad demon. Unfortunately, an NPC Githyanki monk in our party had been charmed or suggested or something, so he was hostile to the party. My character had long resented this monk, so I took the chance to rough him up a little. DM: I assume you're taking a minus 4 penalty to do nonlethal damage? Me: No... After one full attack with my +8 dire pick of death, the enchantment was broken and the monk knelt at my feet, saying that he had been bested. DM: Do you accept his surrender? Me: No. I kick him. Before the battle, I had bought +5 adamantite guantlets, so technically, I was punching him, not kicking him, but it was more dramatic this way. In any event, I rolled a twenty, confirmed, and did 55 points of damage with my kick. He did a backflip in the air and died gruesomely. I laughed.
tharivol266 01-15-06, 03:41 PM	this was in one of my first campains. i was a chaotic something rogue highish levels(it was five or six years ago i dont remember exactly) and i had just familiarized myself with coup de race rules. our adventure took us to this cave thingy that had a wall of some damage on the front of it. then a green dragon came bursting in and took some damage from the wall(we had various spells, rings, traits w/e that had protected us) and we comence to fight it. everyone was very low hp and the lawful cleric calls a truce and we tlk to the dragon and explain to him how he would kill us but then die trying to leave so it was mutually beificial that we ride him out of the cave using our magic to protect his remaining handful of hp so in order from head to tail is me, bard, fighter, mage(forget which), then cleric. cleric casts the spell(his last for the day) and we go through the barrier no damage to any. we tell the dragon to take us somewhere safe as itll take a few days for us to be able to heal everyone. he picks...you guessed it...his lair. as he lands i quick drew a dagger and made a coup de grace + sneak attack and killed him. we spent a few days healing and walked away with his hoarde.
Telinar Beln 01-15-06, 04:33 PM	two that i can think of: firstly we were in an ice cavern looking for a cygnet. after talking to a small white dragon, we went deeper into the cave, only to discover it was lying to us. Me: Hey you, wake up. Dragon: What? Oh, you're back. What do you want now? Me: The cygnet, and your head on a plate. The fight went like this. I, a half-elf fighter, successfully grappled a young adult dragon, pinning it to the floor. Our rogue then coup-de-graced it, killing it instantly. It's head now adorns the front of our ship. The second fight shows just how much we annoy our DM :evillaugh: The enemy was a large cave wyvern (I think our DM made it up). We had fought her children and had made our way to her nest. What we were supposed to do was sneak into the nest, grab the key and leave. We attacked it. CR18 monster against 3 level 10 characters. Our rogue died, removing his lycanthropy. The player wasn't amused having lost many many bonuses to his sneaking. The DM was in shock "You weren't supposed to fight that!" lol
schof 01-15-06, 04:46 PM	a while ago i joined a new group as a pc, something i rarely do, and i decided to play a bard. The party immediatly replied with, "oh god please be something useful" of course i stayed bard and continued in my bardic ways. We end up looking for some aristocrats and we find one being sacrificed by a bunch of were rats and a MBEG who was supposed to run. First round i hold person him, the person in the party using a sythe coup de grace, then i facinate the were rat cleric, ownage commensed, next round i dazed the were rat barbarian, they all killed him. So in 3 rounds i caused the death of the 3 main baddies and sent the rest of the fighter rats screaming away. The party loved me henceforth.
ressurrector 01-15-06, 06:10 PM	Level one character (ECL3, half-dragon type race my DM came up with) weilding big sword 4d4dmg 19-20/x4crit. (this was a cursed item in some respects also, to make up for the coolness) The party finds the boss of the dungeon we're in, some kind of large worm. I manage to miraculously get 1st initiative, charge, crit, confirm, like 70+ dmg, dead. Everyone gives me a really dirty look as I get 100% of the exp and nobody else gets anything.
20goingon1232 01-15-06, 07:36 PM	...as I get 100% of the exp and nobody else gets anything. This is just wrong. Any DM that allows this should be hung, shot, drawn and quartered. Any survivors are to be cremated.
Morotis 01-15-06, 07:44 PM	Once I was a Human Ranger who was also the parties scout and stealthy character. I was sneaking around infront of the party in a big forest when I of course rolled a natural 1 on my survival check and lost the trail of the bandits we were following. I lost the trail so got lost in the middle of the woods and eventually got caught by the bandits we were following! They took me back to there base camp and tied me to a chair and waited for the rest of the party to show up to save me, which they had been informed to do if i didn't come back by nightfall. Well, my friends ran into the camp randomly slaughtering everyone and looking for me. They eventually... DM: You enter a large clearing lit by a bonfire in the center of the camp. On the far side the Human Ranger is strapped to a Wood chair and kegs of explosives surround him. An Elf wearing a Crown of Twigs made of Gold stands beside the chair. He purposfully drops his torch onto the fuse leading into a barrel of explosives. :eek: Basically, The Elf was a the BBEG and ran away to fight at a safe distance from the chair I was starpped to, I had 10 rounds to get out of the chair, my party of course went straight into fighting him and forgot about me, despite my my constant screaming. When the barrels exploded My corspe flew across the clearing, crashed into the Elf Bandit and knocked him into the Bonfire where he died from fire and Bludgeoning damage.
Dungeons & Donuts 01-15-06, 08:10 PM	GAH! Ghost_image, I shall make you the next person to be listed as a death in this thread, for I was originally planning to post this thread, before finding you had posetd it and ALREADY HAD 11 replies! -5 minutes later- Ok, this was probably the funniest of them all. After being angry at ghost-image for reading my mind and stealing my thread, I blissfully summoned 20 atrophals and 20 lvl 50 clerics. After the atrophal nearly killed him, the cleric healed him. Then it repeated over and over again until the clerics got bored and left. Then I increased his size to colossal and summoned a hecatoncheires. That meant that the hecatoncheires got 100 attacks on him... while he currently had only 5 hp... :D
ressurrector 01-15-06, 08:26 PM	This is just wrong. Any DM that allows this should be hung, shot, drawn and quartered. Any survivors are to be cremated. Well, I see it as it's the DMs choice, and if the combat is over before your character does anything, then why should you get any exp? It's a house-rule that I have no issues with, even when my character was the one who got no exp (generally low initiative). Besides, he reduced the xp quite a bit because it never got the chance to attack either. Bottom line is, the DM can do whatever the hell he wants.
Lady Maedhros 01-15-06, 09:17 PM	This is a party i was DMing for. There's a pack of jackalweres (FF) that's been carrying off children from a desert tribe allied to the PCs. So i designed the cave lair of the jackals. It's in two sections, and they only ever have to go through the main one. So they go in, clean out the jackalweres and rescue a couple kids. This was meant to be a nice, light encounter - it was well below their CR - to give them a chance to enjoy their growing power. On their way back out, though, they notice that there's a ledge they haven't explored. So the massive half-dragon barbarian goes first, squeezing his huge body through this rough hole. He gets to the end of the tunnel and sees that he's twenty feet up or so. Now, the tunnel is kind of wet and precarious, such that he has to make a Balance check to not fall off the edge. It's not a hard check, and he makes it easily... but he's not a quiet guy. He turns around and says in the echoing, sound-amplifying cave tunnel, "it's a high ledge" or something to that effect. This wakes up the basilisk sleeping under the ledge. He looks back into the room, fails his save vs petrification (which he had to roll a 1 to fail), and of course, falls on the basilisk, since stone statues lack ranks in Balance. He crushed it, of course, being, in stone form, well over a thousand pounds. The first thing the rogue said, after we all had a moment to digest what had happened, was, "so.... do we get experience?"
20goingon1232 01-15-06, 09:45 PM	Well, I see it as it's the DMs choice, and if the combat is over before your character does anything, then why should you get any exp? It's a house-rule that I have no issues with, even when my character was the one who got no exp (generally low initiative). Besides, he reduced the xp quite a bit because it never got the chance to attack either. Bottom line is, the DM can do whatever the hell he wants. It provokes player resentment and thus is a big no-no in the game. Even the DMG advises against that, the rationale being that it took the efforts of the whole party to get you to that position, not just yours alone. YOU may have no issues with it. Good on you. OTHERS, however, might feel differently. The DM can do whatever the Hell he wants, the same as I can have whatever the Hell of an opinion on whatever the Hell I want.
Bob Loblaw 01-15-06, 10:19 PM	I was running an adventure for 3rd level characters. The BBEG (the party didn't know he was the BBEG) was a teifling who cast hold person on the party. Everyone failed except the monk. He then asked if he could bluff being held and I figured why not. He rolled a 3 on his check. The teifling walked over and rolled his sense motive: a 2. As he reached for the monk, the monk attacked. Grapple check and a critical hit later, the teifling is dead. The party rejoices and says: "Now let's go find the Big Bad!" It took several minutes to convince them that they had just killed the Big Bad. It was the most anti-climactic battle I've ever run. They still talk about the fun.
FinisofLife 01-15-06, 11:22 PM	I was a wild elf ranger/barbarian. And our group had been ambushed by a group of ogres. We were doing pretty bad (bad rolls, not too weak). So I went into a rage and rolled 2 critical hits (I have two weapons) So my DM tells me I cut the creatures arms off, but seeing as I was using some pretty cheap blades, they broke. So instead of pulling out a bow (my character, being in a rage wasnt thinking too rationally) decided to pick up the two ogre arms and charge the groups leader. Luckily he rolled two more criticals and beat to death, an ogre mage, with its friends arms... We had quite a laugh when the DM described it. "The first arm comes in hard, hitting the creatures arm so hard it snapped at the elbow. The other arm came forward, plunging into the blue ogres mouth and exloding out the back of his head." Good times.
HammerHeart81 01-16-06, 01:32 AM	I was playing a Paladin/Fist of Raziel and the party was fighting a glabrizu. The fight was getting tenses as the party was getting low on spells and hp as well as the demon. My paladin backed up to get some healing before moving in. I charged forth with my great sword, the glabrezu made it's AoA and also grappled me. I still had my attack action. Me:"I'd head but him and I'll put a smite to it." DM:"Okay" Me"natural 19!" The smite damadge was enough to take it down! So my Paladin took down a glabrezu with a headbutt.
Gahread 01-16-06, 07:31 AM	My party is formed of 100% military personnel. The players, not the characters. This can lead to interesting situations when modern tactics are applied to D&D. At one point our brand new adventurers are sneaking up on an old farmhouse that has a hobgoblin lounging around on guard duty. After disposing of him, we edge up alongside a stone wall, bows at the ready. As we semi-expect, there's an ambush waiting. Unfortunately for the ambush party, a single summoned badger will plug a doorway quite nicely, and as I said, everybody has bows. The BBEG berserks, runs frothing out of an adjacent building and to a man, everyone dropped to one knee and opened up. "Hey, nat 20!" "Look, me too!" The BBEG made it about fifteen feet through the door before he began his imitation of a well-used pincushion and our DM began seriously considering throwing higher CR encounters at us. Oh, and the badger? Yeah, there's a reason I now habitually summon the Badger of Doooom. Watching one enraged badger take on three hobgoblins simultaneously was priceless. The next session, the same group was fighting 8 or so tieflings and those feyri, the elf-demon hybrids. You know, the ones that can have DR, and we don't even have enough gold to buy a single +1 weapon if we pool every last copper. I use Magic Weapon on the fighter, who proceeds to go to town on them. At the end, the leader, who has all sorts of nice goodies deemed useable by MBEGs but not characters, decides it's time to make a break for it and flies off. Me: "How high is she?" DM: "She's a good ten, fifteen feet off the ground. If you jumped and swung, you might be able to nick her toes but that's about it. There's no way you can hit her and do any real damage." Me: "You're right. I cast Enlarge Person on the fighter." Fighter: "I charge." The fighter of course rolled one of those just-when-you-need-it-most critical hits.
elven warriorXX 01-16-06, 10:28 AM	My party is formed of 100% military personnel. The players, not the characters. This can lead to interesting situations when modern tactics are applied to D&D. At one point our brand new adventurers are sneaking up on an old farmhouse that has a hobgoblin lounging around on guard duty. After disposing of him, we edge up alongside a stone wall, bows at the ready. As we semi-expect, there's an ambush waiting. Unfortunately for the ambush party, a single summoned badger will plug a doorway quite nicely, and as I said, everybody has bows. The BBEG berserks, runs frothing out of an adjacent building and to a man, everyone dropped to one knee and opened up. "Hey, nat 20!" "Look, me too!" The BBEG made it about fifteen feet through the door before he began his imitation of a well-used pincushion and our DM began seriously considering throwing higher CR encounters at us. Oh, and the badger? Yeah, there's a reason I now habitually summon the Badger of Doooom. Watching one enraged badger take on three hobgoblins simultaneously was priceless. The next session, the same group was fighting 8 or so tieflings and those feyri, the elf-demon hybrids. You know, the ones that can have DR, and we don't even have enough gold to buy a single +1 weapon if we pool every last copper. I use Magic Weapon on the fighter, who proceeds to go to town on them. At the end, the leader, who has all sorts of nice goodies deemed useable by MBEGs but not characters, decides it's time to make a break for it and flies off. Me: "How high is she?" DM: "She's a good ten, fifteen feet off the ground. If you jumped and swung, you might be able to nick her toes but that's about it. There's no way you can hit her and do any real damage." Me: "You're right. I cast Enlarge Person on the fighter." Fighter: "I charge." The fighter of course rolled one of those just-when-you-need-it-most critical hits. This is a great story. It made me laugh so hard when you said "your right she is too high...so I cast Enlarge Person on the fighter :devil: "
Steel_Dragon 01-16-06, 12:04 PM	Now you're at 33, give or take 1 or 2. Moral: only 968 to go! :cheer: :cheer: :cheer: 'GO, GO, GO!'
fuzzypants 01-16-06, 01:20 PM	This wasn't a D&D moment, but still great. It was during a TT session of WW's Wraith: the Oblivion. My friend and I were facing the BBEG. On our way to confront this horrible woman, our DM was saying all kinds of things about what the landscape looked like, and the feelings of the place to get us to turn back. We persisted, though, because there was nothing more we could do but face this woman. So, the confrontation happens. The BBEG has the ability to control minds and movements of others. She can also do direct damage to a ghost's corpus, ripping bits off. My character is running out of the juice needed to score lethal damage. The BBEG literally tears my character's mouth off because she's, well, being mouthy. The BBEG's terrifying minions, which look like little girls with spider legs sprouting out of their sides (http://www.geocities.com/bluemonkeyhair/spectreelcop.jpg), are beginning to enter into the fray. One's on the ceiling, looking menacing and making me want to wet my pants because I know there's no way we will survive its attack. My friend's character Janice is unloading bullets into the woman. My DM does the BBEG's turn, and he says to my friend "You suddenly point your gun at Petra (my character) and pull the trigger." Janice: "I'm out of bullets." DM: "...what?" Janice: "I'm out of bullets." DM: "Oh...well, I guess the BBEG wouldn't know that, so you suddenly turn towards Petra and squeeze the trigger. The gun goes *click*" Next round begins and Janice loads one bullet into her gun and fires it at the BBEG. She's notorious for being unable to roll well enough to hit the broadside of a barn, but she manages to get at least one success on the roll. She rolls her damage (five dice total). She scores five successes. She blows the BBEG's brains out, which splatter all over the cupboards (this all took place in a kitchen). The spidergirl on the ceiling says "Thank you" and skitters out.
Elbethamore 01-16-06, 01:49 PM	So, after a difficult battle, my druid is out of spells, and we've killed all the enemies but a sorcerer who flees through a secret passage leading down a narrow corridor (wide enough for one person only). One of the characters has fallen prone in front of the sorcerer, and it's the fighter's initiative. He asks the DM if he can leap over the prone character to take a swing at the sorcerer. DM: "You can do it, but you'll provoke an attack of opportunity" He rolls a natural 1. But the sorcerer hits, discharging the shocking grasp spell he had missed with earlier, throwing the fighter against the back wall in an electric burst. Me: so the fighter's behind him, and the the only thing between me and the sorcerer is a prone character? DM: yes Sling bullet to the back of the head drops the sorcerer in the most anti-climactic fashion possible.
ghost_image 01-16-06, 03:17 PM	The first thing the rogue said, after we all had a moment to digest what had happened, was, "so.... do we get experience?" LOL! That should be in the "best one liners" thread! We asked for XP from the thieves guild too. Our DM generously gave us half.
ghost_image 01-16-06, 03:32 PM	GAH! Ghost_image, I shall make you the next person to be listed as a death in this thread, for I was originally planning to post this thread, before finding you had posetd it and ALREADY HAD 11 replies! Oh well, great minds think alike, no need in getting excited. :P
Adre 01-16-06, 07:18 PM	This happened to a friend of mine's character. The elven ranger(his character) and the cleric of Vecna are battling a group of mysterious assasians while my sorcerer had just looked outside the inn they were staying at to see what was going on.His character has been doing relativately well until this: Ranger: Okay,I swing my sword at the assasian.*rolls* Natural one...oh,crap. DM: You lose your balance and fall flat on your face in the dirt,losing your grip on your sword in mid-fall.The sword goes spinning off into the darkness,decapitating one assasian and embedding itself in the inn's wall right next to the sorcerer's head. Ranger: :mymy: :D Wow! I screwed up so badly I actually did good! Sorcerer: *recovering from seeing life flash before her eyes* Whatever...just don't do it again.
Tiran 01-17-06, 01:26 AM	I've got two. Back in my newbie days (2nd edition) I bought a barrel of eggs for kicks (it's listed in the equipment). I chucked one at a goblin to get its attention. The DM decided eggs did 1 damage for some reason and had only rolled 1hp for the goblin. Somehow I killed a goblin with an egg. My friend Alex managed to escape from a goblin encampment armed only with a soup ladle. He killed more than a few goblins with it. To be fair he had an 18 something strength (2nd edition)
Azerith24 01-17-06, 01:42 AM	Ok, i was laying a unfettered/fighter/monk/dervish/tempest, with a pretty good character build and used two adamantine bastard swords.....an affinity feild was thrown up(everyone gets damage dealt with the field, same with healing) i was killed, then revenanced....i ran up to the leader who hadt he field around himself, then i full attacked myself, attacking yourself you deal crit and sneak die, so i pretty much coup de graced myself for well over 200 hp and killed every enemy in the room and like half my party, fun times..
Radijs 01-17-06, 03:16 AM	In a "get creative" campaign where X played a barbarian X: "I grab his spiked chain." DM: "AAO, missed. Make an unarmed attack roll" X *rolls* "26" DM: "You got his spiked chain in your hands." X: "I pull his chain." Turns out that the spiked chain wielder was already low on HP and the raging barbarian tore his arms off.
LassiterKeshell 01-17-06, 03:41 AM	I was in this Dark Sun campaigne. We're fighting the BBEG, some dragon. One of us has a Dragonlance (of sorts) and is using spring attack to charge at it every round. I was a Psychic Warrior and I don't remember doing anything of note, except giving flank bonus to our other fighter. The DM decides the dragon is tired of being surrounded and decides to fly out. Fighter: Oh hey, do I get an Op Attack? DM: Sure, why not? Fighter: Cool. (rolls) Ooo, Threat. (rolls) Crit! DM: Great. How much damage do you do? Fighter: Yeah, I'm finding out... hey... CRAP! Did you know you gave me a vorpal sword? I think I threw a pencil into the air and walked off somewhere muttering how anti-climactic that battle was.
Juzzman 01-17-06, 09:45 PM	This was a 2ed some time ago, low level party, and we were on the battlements of a massive castle. Battlements were 15' wide, 100' high and towers were 100 yards apart. We were halfway between towers when a mounted knight came out of the tower to which we were heading and began to charge us. This was a high level mob (encountered them before) and we were facing at least one char death as this thing rides by. My psionisist bravely stepped forward and presented himself to the knight, hands on hips, supposedly unnafraid. As the knight bared down on my character i prepared and (i had a brief discussion with the dm on this, and initiative and dex dice checks etc were rolled amd made) at the critical moment i turned, opened a dimension door and rolled to one side. The knight failed his checks and charged on through the dimension door, the other end of which was placed about 20 feet to the right, in mid aid. He tumbled through the air as he fell, and crashed to the ground, failed his save and his plate barded horse landed on him (luckily, as the fall by itself wouldnt have killed him :-) Was a classic.
Moosh Nailo 01-18-06, 01:12 AM	We were on the edge of a 100-ish foot cliff, and just killed a batch of goblinoids. We're beat up, and theres one left. Bugbear barbarian. He charged. Natural 1. Tripped himself right off the edge.
Double Eagle 01-18-06, 01:58 PM	Not D&D, but still a great death. (I love VP/WP!) In a rather unique Star Wars campaign, our party had made contact with Earth's galaxy via a wormhole (I think the DM was ignoring the "long time ago..." part). Some old Sith had settled there long ago and set up a nice little evil empire and are currently stripping planets for resources. After our arrival triggers an attack that wipes out most of Earth's population, we set about rallying planets to form a resistance. These Sith have apparently had historical influence in Earth's religion (a hint of Stargate flavor, which I like), and the first BBEG we encounter is Darth Michael. Thats right, the Archangel Michael from Christian mythology was actually a Sith Lord. So we are trying to escape a building when one of our Jedi is snatched via move object and dragged behind a closing blast door. Once the other Jedi opens the door we see Darth Michael holding our poor Jedi friend off the ground in front of him with a sith sword resting against his throat. I'm playing a Soldier with mostly gun feats, so I drop to a knee and take a round to aim. The Jedi hostage wispers something (I forget which force skill), causing the Sith to lower his sword away from his neck slightly. I fire. Natural 20. I spend a Force Point to confirm. My DuoBlaster Carbine (like a double-barreled blaster) does 6d6 - straight to WP. And Darth Michael dies. (The DM was ******) This guy supposedly threw Lucifer out of Heaven, and a level 7 Soldier shot him in the face and killed him. The party then proceeds to fight over his three lightsabres (one was yellow!) while making our escape. Apparently, this guy was uber-powerful and we didn't have a chance against him until much higher levels. One of the reasons I love the VP/WP system.
GreyGriffin 01-18-06, 07:49 PM	Our group was going to be skirmished by a Large Red Dragon. We were 5 level 5 or so characters, so it could have been a decent challenge if the GM had half a brain. But the monsters just walk up and start swinging, so we whittled it down pretty fast. The dragon got wise when it got down to about 10 HP. It flies away, risking the AoO to get out of range of retaliation. The AoO's brought it down to exactly 1 HP. Now, nobody in the party had any bows. I dunno what we were thinking, but in any case, my character, an enlarged Solamnic Knight turns to the party's monk and says, "A javelin!" So the monk hands one off, and my character takes a distant heave. DM: "All right, he's waaay out of range, but with your strength and your large size, you can hit him on a natural 20." Me: "Booyah."
dragonseth 01-18-06, 09:05 PM	This was great, we had fairly new chars, level 3 or so. We just squashed some orcs, and the local barbarian ripped off one's head and stuck it on a crowbar for intimidate bonuses. We walk into this orc encampment, and he comes running over the hill screaming and flailing this head-on-a-stick. Anyway he has a standard action left. "What the heck. I throw the crowbar at them." "Uh okay. Ranged attack roll, -4 for improvised, and its heavy, 'nother -2." "OMG! Natural 20!" He frickin' snapped one guy's neck, and our DM says crits can deal extra damage to an adjacent guy, 'The force of your blow continues on to strike...' so he ended up felling two orcs with a crowbar with a head on the end of it. If I remember correctly, that also might have adjusted the morale of the orcs. :P
Thurbane 01-18-06, 09:45 PM	I once had a half-orc with a Ring of Fire Resistance who used to kill trolls by wearing a heavy, voluminous cloak, thoroughly soaking it with Greek Fire (Alchemical Fire), then igniting himself and grappling with the trolls :D
Khisanth Magus 01-18-06, 11:15 PM	I have 2... First one was years ago, in a 2nd ed campaign we were in. The group we me(a mage), my friend's ranger, and my other friend(who wasn't a good player)'s bard. Well to make a long story short, we were going through the fortress of the BBEG wizard to hunt him down. On the way we went through the dining hall. They had some nice silverwear so our bard took a spoon. We get to the BBEG. The bard rolls first initiative. With a yell of "Spoon!" he throws the spoon he had picked up at the BBEG...crit, spoon goes in the wizard's eye and kills him in one hit. We were all stunned. Next one was in a bit more recent campaign. I don't remember what the party was, only that there was my tiefling ranger, my friend's barbarian, another friend's paladin, and a couple other people. Well, there was an evil temple in the city that was giving us trouble. Problem is that said evil temple is endorsed by the city's government. So we go in to raid the temple. We find a door beneat the altar, and open it. We go down, and to make a long story short, botch things miserably. We are retreating out of the hidden door with an entire army behind us. The person whose class I can't remember is trying ot hold them back. My character comes up with a great idea. I tell the barbarian and paladin to go into the previous room and grab the marble table there then throw it down the stairs. Said table kills quite a few of the people following us and stops the rest. Yay for fun death #1. We leave the temple, and are immediately arrested. We HAD been warned. So we are packed into an enclosed wagon. The guards start taking us to jail. Our barbarian decides she doesn't like being locked up, so she knocks the back door to the wagon open. It was quite strong, but then again, so was she. To make another long story short, we manage to take control of the wagon, but only me and the barbarian are left. Then along comes the BBEG cleric who had been hounding our steps at every turn, on a horse. We take the wagon we were in and take off. We are going at breakneck speeds down the road. Me: Where is the cleric in relation to the wagon? DM: Right behind it. Me: Describe the wagon. DM: It is an enclosed wagon with a high seat being pulled by 4 horses. Oh, and it has an emergency break. Me: I cut the harnesses on the horses and pull the emergency break. DM: ......the cleric's horse runs into the back of the wagon, breaking its legs and flinging hte cleric into the wagon. Me: I go back and close the doors. My friend: I use my magical lighter to set fire to the wagon. DM: .....The wagon catches on fire and you are rewarded with the screams of the cleric as he burns to death. Me: ....I wish I had marshmellows.
Johnny Cache 01-18-06, 11:50 PM	We had a party that was mostly fourth-level, and our DM had just purchased a large, multi-part module that should have taken us to level 10, assuming no TPK. About halfway through part 1, the BBEG (a vampire, or so we thought at first) makes his introductary appearance. The scenario was supposed to go: BBEG shows his power, we get drubbed but manage to limp away. And we would have retreated, except that one player had decided that he didn't like his shifter character and was playing it as if the chara had a death-wish. He attacked with a scimitar and a dagger, and just wouldn't back off. My LG monk wouldn't leave her friend, and the rest of the party followed the lead of these two eediots. Then comes the wierdest series of dice rolls you ever saw. Everyone only did a couple of points of damage when they hit, which wasn't often. Even the BBEG couldn't do anything right - when he used his once-a-day special ability, the shifter saved against it. It was pathetic! There was one exception to this - the deathwish shifter was hitting consistantly, but usually just the dagger. When he did hit with the scimitar, he then critted with the dagger. We wound up killing a creature in the middle of chapter 1 which should have been harrassing us until the end of chapter 6! And most of the damage done to it came from a dagger! (It turned out that he was just a changeling imitating a vampire, btw.) The DM then told us the CR of what we just defeated and we went :mymy: :eek: Then he showed us the XP table - we were well into the double asterisk range. :OMG! :OMG! The guy playing the shifter decided he kinda liked the character, after all. :D
tak3thatback 01-19-06, 01:48 AM	Archmage Sorc (me) is walking around while invisible(greater) in another PC's castle looking for anything magical. I stumble apon a room with a guy maintaining a cloak of resistance with a Bahamut symbol embroidered in it. I sure do pity the guy a bit with how much I like this cloak, and having to be at the wrong place and wrong time. I start to do my hand mumbo jumbo.... Guy: "Wonder where that noise is coming from..." [Baleful Polymorph] Me: "The cook can use you now." I take the newly polymorphed guy and the cloak (after placing in a bag of holding of course.). Wow, mages CAN make great thieves. -------------------------------------------------- A monk is grappling a cleric to keep him from healing the dying bard. Gots to love what wonders a still harm can achieve.
NekoWorldOrder 01-19-06, 02:06 PM	Jharret KahJhing, the tiefling follower of a chaotic good version of Olidammara, a holy menace with the tip of broken artifact blade stuck in his chest. After almost four years of playing a character that believed he was the chosen avatar for the god of thieves and blessed with his luck, there practically wasn’t a game session that didn’t spawn some bizarre story. Let’s start with this one. The cast: -Jharret, a tiefling Paladin of Freedom/Rogue with tons of magical items (that’s me!) -Drakaal, a half-vampire ranger who uses a longsword and a short sword -Kenvelex, a drow wizard who was played by a newbie -Ignis Terra, a half-fiend fighter rogue with a spiked chain -Ellias, a cocky elf bard with a longsword who we all disliked (DMPC) The scene; we’re running for our lives across the ramparts of a castle on a cliff that could have been straight out of Ravenloft, being chased by several vampires and vampire spawn. They’re gaining on us of course, so Jharret decides to buy the group some time ‘cause, well, he’s the fricken’ hero. He spins around to face the closest vampire spawn in a narrow archway and drops a globe of darkness on himself and the spawn (this is 3.0 darkness, mind you). Out comes my rapier and Grand Haul; it’s the shattered blade that was supposed to be used to kill Olidammara that Jharret had sharpened into a makeshift dagger. It still had several magical powers, including it let darkvision work in magical darkness and allowed a person to sneak attack undead. The spawn never had a chance as it fought blindly and I piled on critical damage. Up until this point, everyone had thought I was an albino half-elf (white skin, red eyes and hair, pointy ears), but I decided to be dramatic and remove the tie that held my long hair back and take off my hat, which I used to hide a pair of devil horns. I drop the globe of darkness so that everyone can see me; wild red hair hanging everywhere, red eyes glowing, pointed horns with studs in them, covered in the blood of the eviscerated vampire spawn. I hiss viciously at the approaching vampires, spitting curses at them in Infernal. DM: Intimidate check. Me: *rolls 3* Crap, that’s like only a 9 DM: The vampires pause for a moment, stunned, and then charge you. Me: Jharret screams a high-pitched girly scream and turns tail and runs like hell. Luckily, this had given Kenvelex and Ellias to cast fly spells on everyone else, and after the laugher died down, everyone managed to escape. Next Time: Jharret turns Ignis Terra into an Apache helicopter with a mounted turret to shoot down gargoyles.
Steel_Dragon 01-19-06, 09:42 PM	Now were at 51 or so!(counting off from 33)YAY! 950 left! :P Now I need your help, PLEASE start numbering these! That way, I don't have to count you're stories! :invasion:
OneEye589 01-19-06, 10:14 PM	Okay, we were playing some zombie and skeleton campaign thingy as the DM had just gotten the book of the undead, whatever it's called. The party was my whisper gnome barbarian/druid on battle goat, stonechild cleric, centaur fighter, and an Aasimar warmage. I wasn't doing that well, as we were mostly fighting skeletons and my strategy was hit for a bit and run with ride-by attack. I was dealing very little with my sword, so I was pretty much useless. The javelin throwing centaur was doing okay, should have been better. Stonechild was doing okay as well, as he had a mace. The warmage was insane though. Anyway, we came to a great battle between a town and a great load of skeletons. We pretty much use our millions of d6's for counters, so the DM just says "Give me all the d6's". There were maybe 50 skeletons, fully powerful ones, some wolf ones, and a hill giant skeleton all in a circle in the town square. We roll initiative, warmage wins. "Fireball. Right there." He rolls, gets about all sixes. Double damage to them, half of them failed their reflex saves. The DM clears off the table and lays down about 10 dice. "These guys are still alive."
Minos_Vol 01-20-06, 05:21 AM	I have one of the best kills ever! we have our 23rd level Fighter atop a massivly tall tower-like structure, with a sea of warforged trampling out from the base, with a modified lich from iron kingdoms, with further changes from the DM to make it vastly more powerful, (in which he also had written multiple pages for this epic fight that would most likely result in the fighter's death) my buddy David thinks for a moment and then says: "So he's near the edge huh?" DM: "Uh... yeah... why?" David: "Bull Rush" [long silence, followed by damage rolls from the DM, which then turned into continued silence from the DM, ending in a few explitives, and a roar of laughter from the players.] yes, he killed a CR 27-30 odd creature by himself using only a bull rush attempt.
Derren S. 01-20-06, 10:21 AM	The fight went like this. I, a half-elf fighter, successfully grappled a young adult dragon, pinning it to the floor. Our rogue then coup-de-graced it, killing it instantly. It's head now adorns the front of our ship. And agains someone who doesn't know that pinning doesn't let you CdG...
v2099 01-20-06, 11:05 AM	my 1st game, which the dm change the setting restarting the game was awful: players:barbarian(me), spell thif, cleric, fist of hexor, druid(devil weed addict), wizard, drow ranger, half vamp paladin campain: evil we have to control a mining town in 5 hours, we all served hexor. after scouting the town we gathered to come up with a plan to attack, there was 20 guards, while we were making plans, the druid hit me in the marbles from behind with his quartstaff, everyone was shocked. there was chaos in the group, the spell thief and palladin help the druid to ie me to a horse and dragged me to the town that was 500 ft away(at 2 hp i take 1d4 per 20 ft), the wizard followed trying to save me. BUT by the time we reached the town 5 guards saw everything and was ready, the wizard cast clor spray and ran back to the group which was riding to battle, the wizard forgot to say player to player waved his hands and said"go back, go back i just relised the plan" by then i was dead and all 20 guards was before the rest of the group. the following week we restarted the game
Bjorn Borg 01-20-06, 09:03 PM	1st level human fighter vs skeleton: fighter rolls critical miss.. DM says to roll to determine what happens. fighter rolls a 20. DM states that the fighter swung, slipped (the ground was covered in blood), and the sword left his hands and came down, impaling the skeleton through the head: skeleton shishkabab. 1st level halfling thief vs. worg-riding kobold: halfing, next to tree, has back to 100ft cliff with river at bottom, and kobold is 30 feet away facing him. kobold charges. halfling throws caltrops, worg steps on them and, scared, throws the kobold off. the halfling, extremely frightened from the sight of the two, puts up his sword in front of him as protection. the kobold hits the halflings sword directly, impaling himself and forcing the two over the cliff. the halfling gets caught on one of the trees roots sticking out of the cliffs edge, and the kobold falls unconscious into the river and drowns. the worg, seeing nothing above, wanders off. halfling eventually climbs up cliff face and rests in tree. 1st level halfling vs 1st level human fighter (same party?!) halfling sits on edge of open sarcophagus containing a skeletal dragon priest. skelton awakens and grabs halfling, using him as a weapon to knock the fighter unconscious.
speeblefreak 01-21-06, 08:59 PM	We, a 15th-level party. Bandar, Human Fighter 15 Vellos, Human Rogue 15 Wisken, Human Monk 15 Threllemin, Human Sorceror 15 (this is me) We were exploring some old ruins. The DM says that we come across some cracked ground. Fighter: I give it a prod. DM: The floor crumbles. Make Reflex saves, all of you. Everyone except me fails, and they fall down a 100-foot pit to land in a small room with an angry dragon turtle. Others: (proceed with fight) DM: OK, it's your turn. Now, I am a level 15 sorceror. A sorceror who knows nothing but destructive evocations. And yet the only things that pass through my head are: 1. It's a straight drop onto the dragon turtle. 2. I have a 10-ft pole. ..._____........../\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ ../../.....\...../.......................................\ /../0......\__/........................................ ..\ \/\/\/...............\...\...................\ ...\.........\___ \/\/\/__________\__\____________\__\_________\ This is a dragon turtle. ...__ ...| | ...| | ...| | ...| | ...| | __| |__ ......../\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /../.....\......./.......................................\ /../X......\ __/........................................ \ \/\/\/ ........... \...\...................\...\.........\_ __ \/\/\/__________\__\____________\__\_________\ This was the dragon turtle after I took my turn. ...That took WAY too long to get right. :twitch: _____ Also, I once was DM-ing a low-level group of players fighting some orcs. Fighter: I chop at the orc in front of me *rolls attack and damage* Me: You decpaitate the orc rather neatly. *next round* Me: Okay, the only orc still alive is the one in the alcove 10 feet away from you *points to fighter* Fighter: You said I decapitated the other orc, right? Me: :confused: Yes. Fighter: I pick up the head and throw it at the last orc! I ruled that the head dealt 1d4 points of damage, and the fighter's Strength was high enough for the head to kill the orc. _____ Also, I once had a rather inexperienced DM who thought that damage rolled (porportional to a creature's hp) equated to physical trauma. I was fighting an orc who only had 2 hp left. Me: I swing at it with my greatsword. *rolls* Yeeha! Critical hit! *rolls* 24 damage. DM: The orc explodes. _____ Rod of Wonder. Kobolds. Kobolds choking on butterflies and getting mowed down by gems.
Cooked_Auto 01-21-06, 10:09 PM	The spawn never had a chance as it fought blindly and I piled on critical damage. Up until this point, everyone had thought I was an albino half-elf (white skin, red eyes and hair, pointy ears), but I decided to be dramatic and remove the tie that held my long hair back and take off my hat, which I used to hide a pair of devil horns. I drop the globe of darkness so that everyone can see me; wild red hair hanging everywhere, red eyes glowing, pointed horns with studs in them, covered in the blood of the eviscerated vampire spawn. I hiss viciously at the approaching vampires, spitting curses at them in Infernal. DM: Intimidate check. Me: *rolls 3* Crap, that’s like only a 9 DM: The vampires pause for a moment, stunned, and then charge you. Me: Jharret screams a high-pitched girly scream and turns tail and runs like hell. Luckily, this had given Kenvelex and Ellias to cast fly spells on everyone else, and after the laugher died down, everyone managed to escape. Next Time: Jharret turns Ignis Terra into an Apache helicopter with a mounted turret to shoot down gargoyles. That sorta reminds me of that scene in A New Hope when Han rushes screaming at some retreating Stormtroopers and then comes around a corner to see even more of them and then without skipping a beat turns around and start running the other way still screaming.
cynical 01-21-06, 11:08 PM	Going through swarms of lesser demons. We are weakend, most of our high level spells are gone. The *blam* the BBEG appears. the fighters do there thing. The wizards hit with a couple of small spell. Me the cleric has very little left. So I start chain casting summons. a few rounds later the Demon is trrampled und a horde (eight) celestial bison. His final words were "Holy Cow"
Twotall 01-23-06, 04:13 AM	I was playing my all-time favourite character, a gnome rogue who was seemingly an expert with a crossbow (in reality, I was using poisons without our groups paladin finding out). My DM had earlier gifted me with a specific unique poison (Red Spider Venom), Save DC 30, Initial and secondary effect: Instant Death. The problem was, I only had five doses of it, and so had to use them sparingly throughout the entire history of the character. Setup: In the very beginning of a LONG campaign, designed to go on for a year or so, our characters were in an enemy camp, fighting hordes of lesser creatures (orcs, mid-level evil rangers and the like), when the BBEG shows up. At this time, I was using a repeating crossbow where the first four bolts in the magazine held a regular poison, and the fifth was coated with Red Spider Venom. The BBEG turned out to be a huge troll wearing a +lots full plate, wielding a colossal greataxe and riding a pet dragon. No one even came close to injuring him, he just trashed our melee fighters while I tried to get through with my weak poisons. Then the troll decided we were not worth his time and flew off on his dragon (he was only there to scare us, after all). I look down on my crossbow. Last bolt. Look up at the troll flying away. Look at the crossbow again. Should I... A couple of seconds went by as the troll flew further away. Then: Me: "Ah, s**** it. I shoot it! What's the range?" It turned out I was at 2 range increments and would need a nat 18 just to hit the troll, then I would have to do enough damage to get through his insane DR, and then he would use his enormous Fort save to try to withstand the venom. Me: "Well, it IS possible. And I said I was going to do it, no tapbacks! Launch!" *roll nat 19* "Hit! and damage..." *rolls maximum damage for the bolt, one point above the trolls DR* DM: "OK, you point your crossbow upwards at the troll who is fading into the distance. Your bolt flies out, streaks through the air... keeps streakijg through the air... and hits the troll! And... " *rolls save* Silence. Then "...f :censored: ..." The DM then allows us to peep over the screen to gaze at the wonderful sight of a nat 1, automatic fail on a save. DM:" Eh, was that the good poison you used?" Me: :D "Oh yes!" The DM goes on to describe how the others can see little Twotall looking back and forth between his crossbow and the troll, before loosening one single bolt at an insane distance. The bolt flies off way up into the air, before the troll slowly tips from the back of the dragon and falls to the ground 100 feet below, stone dead. DM: "But... but... That was not supposed to happen! He was the main bad guy you were supposed to kill at the end of the campaign, when you had gained sufficient levels..." We felt his pain, but it was drowned in the victory celebration.
Black Kitten 01-23-06, 12:24 PM	Let me start with one of my own: We're in a dungeon (Castle Perilous, FR) and we're walkingdown object-directional gravity hallways (we could actually fall through a door if we didn't step through carefully). We had faced several ice mephits before, so when another was summoned as part of a trap, we were prepared. Our monk tossed his lasso, got hold of the mephit and started to swing it. My bard ran over to help him and around, around, around the mephit meant. DM: The mephit's thinking: 'Oh, why on earth did I sign up for this job?!'. Then tried to untie himself. A round later the Mephit succeeds. So we estimate his speed and calculate damage. Mephit goes 'splut!' against a wall. End of Mephit, but my DM (GrumpyWizard) didn't care too much, since it was funny. So... Where are the stories without the critical hits?
OctoberRaven 01-23-06, 12:35 PM	Forget what the monster was, but low-level. Paladin to Fighter: Go behind the monster so I can flank-charge-smite it. Fighter: Ok. Fighter goes behind the monster and drops it in one blow. Paladin:. ...That works too.
Earthcrosser599 01-23-06, 12:47 PM	The evil cleric who was supposed to be the BBEG by the time he'd gained a few more levels was kicking the party's ass with his undead minions and whatnot. Then the halfling effigy master called in Tiny, his advanced Huge-sized Praying Mantis voltron-thing. That thing had one hell of a grapple mod. Suffice to say it was alot better than the clerics.
Steel_Dragon 01-23-06, 01:30 PM	...61...
Swarms 01-23-06, 04:15 PM	We knew from our scout that there was a two-headed ogre ahead (I know that there is a specific monster like that, but the DMs exact words were "Two-headed Ogre", so whatever) so we decided to draw a face on a boulder and have the half-ogre barbarian walk over with it on his shoulder (What's the worst that could happen?). The barbarian, being stupid, agreed and went over. The Ogre failed a spot check to notice that It wasn't a real head, and invited our barbarian over to eat. The barbarian took a coup de grace and killed the ogre.
elven warriorXX 01-23-06, 04:37 PM	We knew from our scout that there was a two-headed ogre ahead (I know that there is a specific monster like that, but the DMs exact words were "Two-headed Ogre", so whatever) so we decided to draw a face on a boulder and have the half-ogre barbarian walk over with it on his shoulder (What's the worst that could happen?). The barbarian, being stupid, agreed and went over. The Ogre failed a spot check to notice that It wasn't a real head, and invited our barbarian over to eat. The barbarian took a coup de grace and killed the ogre. :heehee :heehee :heehee Thats a good one.
OctoberRaven 01-23-06, 05:22 PM	We knew from our scout that there was a two-headed ogre ahead (I know that there is a specific monster like that, but the DMs exact words were "Two-headed Ogre", so whatever) so we decided to draw a face on a boulder and have the half-ogre barbarian walk over with it on his shoulder (What's the worst that could happen?). The barbarian, being stupid, agreed and went over. The Ogre failed a spot check to notice that It wasn't a real head, and invited our barbarian over to eat. The barbarian took a coup de grace and killed the ogre. I think you're thinking of the Ettin.
Moosh Nailo 01-25-06, 11:24 PM	The group I DM was working it's way through a kobold-infested mine. They're all 3rd level. Come into a room where the kobolds had pushed some big, heavy wooden tables over, and were hiding behind them, like barricades. The party's druid used wood (warp or shape?) to stick the legs on one table out sideways. TIMBER! The kobold behind the table was... not happy. :D
ghost_image 01-26-06, 10:33 PM	I was playing my all-time favourite character, a gnome rogue who was seemingly an expert with a crossbow (in reality, I was using poisons without our groups paladin finding out). My DM had earlier gifted me with a specific unique poison (Red Spider Venom), Save DC 30, Initial and secondary effect: Instant Death. The problem was, I only had five doses of it, and so had to use them sparingly throughout the entire history of the character. Setup: In the very beginning of a LONG campaign, designed to go on for a year or so, our characters were in an enemy camp, fighting hordes of lesser creatures (orcs, mid-level evil rangers and the like), when the BBEG shows up. At this time, I was using a repeating crossbow where the first four bolts in the magazine held a regular poison, and the fifth was coated with Red Spider Venom. The BBEG turned out to be a huge troll wearing a +lots full plate, wielding a colossal greataxe and riding a pet dragon. No one even came close to injuring him, he just trashed our melee fighters while I tried to get through with my weak poisons. Then the troll decided we were not worth his time and flew off on his dragon (he was only there to scare us, after all). I look down on my crossbow. Last bolt. Look up at the troll flying away. Look at the crossbow again. Should I... A couple of seconds went by as the troll flew further away. Then: Me: "Ah, s**** it. I shoot it! What's the range?" It turned out I was at 2 range increments and would need a nat 18 just to hit the troll, then I would have to do enough damage to get through his insane DR, and then he would use his enormous Fort save to try to withstand the venom. Me: "Well, it IS possible. And I said I was going to do it, no tapbacks! Launch!" *roll nat 19* "Hit! and damage..." *rolls maximum damage for the bolt, one point above the trolls DR* DM: "OK, you point your crossbow upwards at the troll who is fading into the distance. Your bolt flies out, streaks through the air... keeps streakijg through the air... and hits the troll! And... " *rolls save* Silence. Then "...f :censored: ..." The DM then allows us to peep over the screen to gaze at the wonderful sight of a nat 1, automatic fail on a save. DM:" Eh, was that the good poison you used?" Me: :D "Oh yes!" The DM goes on to describe how the others can see little Twotall looking back and forth between his crossbow and the troll, before loosening one single bolt at an insane distance. The bolt flies off way up into the air, before the troll slowly tips from the back of the dragon and falls to the ground 100 feet below, stone dead. DM: "But... but... That was not supposed to happen! He was the main bad guy you were supposed to kill at the end of the campaign, when you had gained sufficient levels..." We felt his pain, but it was drowned in the victory celebration. O_o......that is quite possibly the most anti-climactic battle i've ever heard of.
ghost_image 01-26-06, 10:40 PM	...61... I think we should thank Steel_Dragon for what he's doing for my thread :clap: :clap: :clap: but to make things easier, please number your tales of dumb luck.
Realms of Chaos 01-27-06, 12:32 AM	Favorite encounter of mine's to date. Happened just today. (Party, including sorcerer, ignore draconic sign in kobold mines and continue into room layered with spider webs. All fail their spot check and get stuck.) Me: You see many regular sized spiders crawling around before gathering into a strange coherent formation and swarming towards you. Character 1 (human kleptomaniac ninja or someone NPCing them in this case): I slip out of my shoes and jump to the entrance so I can torch the place. Me: roll jump check. Rolls a 3. I roll an attack roll, natural 20, I don't role a threat role. Me: You are snagged out of midair when a web descends on you from above, 1 spider about twice your size descends along with 4 that are half your size. Players: :bigeyes: Half-orc fighter (with 3 intelligence) breaks free of webs, While pyromaniac sorcerer and half-elf hexblade try and fail. swarm damages players and a couple of small spiders hit (dealing 1 and 2 damage, none got their poison through). Large spider carries ensnared character 1 up 40 feet and drops them, knocking them unconscious (I'm not into killing characters that aren't around). Fighter: I attack the spider swarm with sword chucks. Me: okay. Him: That's a 19 on the attack roll. Does that hit? Me: Yes he rolls damage as I look in the Monster Manual to learn that spider swarms are the only type of swarms that don't have damage reduced or nullified. Me: you sweep your swordchucks (character's request. Don't ask) along the ground, swating all of the spiders away. The swarm dispersed. The large spider then reappears. a round or 2 later, it has taken some damage. Me: Instead of going for you, the spider turns around and picks up Kashu (klepto ninja) in his mouth. Hexblade: Do we get attacks of opportunity. Me: I guess. All three other characters hit, with the hexblade geting a critical hit. Me: Just as the Spider turns around to devour your friend, all three of you slash and peirce it from three directions and it slumps down in a messy pile (small spiders run away).
Merlain 01-27-06, 01:36 AM	verry funny.
Lazalantin 01-28-06, 12:40 PM	Narrow 10-ft. corridor, fighter and cleric standing side to side in front of sorcerer and bard shooting arrows at some orcs. The orcs shoot back and the cleric drops. One orc attempts to charge past the fighter to get to the wizard in back. DM: Attack of opportunity for you. Fighter: (rolls high enough to hit and kill the orc) DM: You stick your arm out, and the orc charging past you gets his head sliced off by your sword. He bumps into the wizard and knocks him prone. Wizard, you suffer 1d2 points of damage from falling onto the hard floor. Wizard: Damn. I've only 1 hp left...(rolls)...a 2. DM: You hit the floor hard and fall unsonscious. The wizard died from the head wound because we were out of healing spells and the cleric couldn't succeed on his Heal check on pain of death.
dragonseth 01-28-06, 01:14 PM	I think it was intended for enemy kills, but that's still funny. Next guy, please put a 67 before your post. It would be rather cool if we kept track of this. Oh, I almost forgot I have another one. I heard about this on these boards. 66. Tarrasque. Fighter gets swallowed. He sticks a portable hole in a bag of holding in its stomach. It was a lot funnier when I read it than when I typed it :P
shadowfox628 01-28-06, 01:49 PM	We had to sneak out of a city under the cover of darkness, and the party's wizard cast Invisibility on us and horses. I'm sneaking through the streets (on foot, because I had to get off it after I was spotted). DM: "There's someone on the street." Me: "I look at him." DM: "You kind of recognize him. He's part of the Vipers (rival rogue gang)." Wizard: "I sneak up behind him and I poke his head with my quarterstaff." DM: "Roll for attack." *Wizard poke him* "The man turns around, and... *rolls d20* grabs the quarterstaff." Wizard: "I let it go." DM: "The man is now swinging randomly." Me: "..... I take out my bow, and I shoot him in his trachea (tube to lungs)." DM: "Roll for attack." *I shoot him* "He's now hurt, and using the invisible quarterstaff to support him." Me: "...... Am I facing his frontal side?" DM: "Yeah." Me: "I shoot him in.... the crotch." *Everyone gives me a weird look* "What? Metal Gear Solid logic." DM: "Um... Alright. Roll for attack." *Hit* "The man falls to the ground, with an arrow sticking out of his crotch." Me: "I search him for gold."
Evandar_TAybara 01-28-06, 04:14 PM	68. Once had a player who had been disarmed decide to slap a hellhound on the nose whilst shouting "Bad dog!". She critted it and knocked it unconscious. 69. Using Runequest critical/fumble rules I had a goblin side-kick accidentally decapitate the BBEG in the first round of combat.
Evandar_TAybara 01-28-06, 04:33 PM	Whilst I'm here, I thought I'd point out a rules clarification that a number of you seemed to have missed completely going by some of these posts. Coup de gras can only be performed on helpless opponents. Sitting on top of a dragon does not make the dragon helpless. Grappling someone does not make that person helpless (even if they're pinned). Evan.
Kresalak 01-28-06, 05:21 PM	70. I was playing a Psychic Warrior who had just challenged a hobgoblin for control of her army. She sent her champion, a 6th level Hill Giant barbarian, to fight me. I focused on using claw attacks, to the extent of taking Rapidstrike and Improved Natural Attack. I also have Combat Expertise and a lot of Dex. We're confined to a small circle, big enough that he can hit me from where he's standing. I win initiative, and start out by using a fully augmented Overchanneled Claws of the Beast, which gives me a pair of 6d6 claws. Then I defensively manifested Expansion, and succeded. I was now a huge, 20 ft. tall guy with claws that are dishing out 12d6 per hit. Now would be a good time to mention I have Karmic Strike. Hill giant takes his turn, swings at me. Deals about 40 damage. I get an AoO from Karmic Strike, and respond with a like amount. This is repeated, and I'm at less then half HP. His 3rd attack misses. Then he swings at me and crits, bringing me to really low HP. My last AoO for the round, I roll a 20, and confirmed the crit. My last hit did over 100 damage, enough to drop the raging hill giant barbarian... on his turn. Me: "Guess that's karma."
The_Apathetic_Despot 01-28-06, 10:13 PM	Heres a couple of awesome encounters from my very first campaign. our party was level 1 at the time and we had a barbarian, a halfling fighter, and two rogues, one who specalized in melee and one in ranged combat (me). we walk into a room with a pool of water in the middle and massive spider webs all over, hanging frmo the ceiling by the web is a corpse. We decide to cut it down, and the fighter climbs onto the barbarian's shoulders, wielding the barbarian's greatsword ('cause he couldn't cut the web tith his trident). Naturally, wackyness ensued. just as he finishes cutting the corpse down, three spiders, each the size of him, jump from the shadows onto his back and envenomate him. Somehow he actually manages to keep his balance for 2 rounds, stabbing the sword over his shoulder, but on the third the falls and the spiders jump offl. Now our barbarian decides that she wants her greatsword back and tries to swap weapons as the fighter falls past. She gets her sword back fine, he gets his trigent back through the chest and falls unconcious into the water and starts drowning, bleeding out, AND dieing from the spider venom! we quickly kill the spiders and pull him out of the water, and try to heal him up. Unfortunately we had two potions, and though we were fairly sure one was a healing potion, they were labeled in a language none of us spoke. we tried the first one, and guess what potion of INVISIBILITY! so now on top of him dying two ways at once we can't find his mouth to give him the healing potion. when we did find him, we accedentaly gave him the potion as a suppository. :gah: A little later on, same group, we came across some kinda metal construct (can't remember exactly what kind) and started fighting it. a round or 2 in, however, a magic missile from an invisible source hit one of us. We were only level 2 (at best) at the time and really weren't equipped to kill an invisible threat, so I hatched a daring plan involving cheese. We had grabbed a couple of wheels of stale-as-a-rock cheese on our way here (not exactly phat loot, but what the heck? cheese.) and so I whipped 'em out, ground them into a fine powder, and the party spread it across the whole of the room, marking the first recorded case of a rogue casting glitterdust using only cheese. Our barbarian took it from there. She was raging, crited, and rolled max damage, killing the mage in one hit, and smearing him across 3 walls. (Since then, cheese has been more sparcely dolled out in our campaigns) A little after that, at the very beginning of the second adventure, we were riding a ship sailing up a rainforest river and just after dark, a chuul boarded the ship and attacked us. So there we are, four wide-eyed level 3 newbies against a massive CR7 monsterous crab. It should have been the fight of our lives. Then it made a big mistake. It tried to graple and pin our (raging) barbarian, but the barbarian (shouting the battlecry "We're eatin' good tonight!") won decisively and pinned IT. So she manages to keep him held down for like 4 rounds, and the rest of us kill it easilly. Four level 3 characeters killed a CR7 monster WITHOUT TAKING A SINGLE POINT OF DAMAGE! :OMG! Ahh, good times. :evillaugh
JohntheDM 01-28-06, 11:23 PM	In one campaign that I DM'ed I had two PC's with a rather unique relationship, with one playing a female druid and the other playing her ex-mercenary husband. The party, including a wizard a rather diabolical LE rogue named Sieg, and the aforementioned Druid/Merc pair. The player of the druid was rather bloodthirsty at that point, having been confused by his character's sudden entrance into one of the biggest cities of my campaign world and so said to her hubby "My blade is rusty and desires blood!!!" The player controlling her husband looked at her with a shocked look on his face and said almost instantly. "I grab her sickle and throw it out the top window of the inn" (as they were in there room on the inn's second floor) I roll to see if anyone is by chance walking by the inn...there is-a rather well known merchant walking alongside his wife....critical hit with the randomly thrown sickle....it embedded itself in the merchant's head and killed him instantly. I described it like this "Your character, obviously questioning your wife's sanity, throws the sickle out the window of the inn. Shortly thereafter you hear a sickening thud followed by the screams of panicked civilians...a couple of minutes later you hear the thudding of a troupe of guard's metal-shod boots. :)
ressurrector 01-29-06, 03:35 AM	A little after that, at the very beginning of the second adventure, we were riding a ship sailing up a rainforest river and just after dark, a chuul boarded the ship and attacked us. So there we are, four wide-eyed level 3 newbies against a massive CR7 monsterous crab. It should have been the fight of our lives. Then it made a big mistake. It tried to graple and pin our (raging) barbarian, but the barbarian (shouting the battlecry "We're eatin' good tonight!") won decisively and pinned IT. So she manages to keep him held down for like 4 rounds, and the rest of us kill it easilly. Four level 3 characeters killed a CR7 monster WITHOUT TAKING A SINGLE POINT OF DAMAGE! :OMG! Ahh, good times. :evillaugh 7 CR 3 characters vs. CR 8 ooze. Druid2/wiz1 Ftr3 Cleric3 Tiefling Rogue2(me, feintmaster with daggers) gnomish bard3 Monk3 Ranger3 Now let me firts point out, whenever we did more than 1 damage to this ooze, it seporated. 5 dmg to the ooze? a 5hp chunk breaks off and starts attacking us. only way to kill it is with elemental damage, or slashing damage in increments of 1. Our wizard/druid had NO attack spells (burning hands). So here's what happens: Rogue (lowest hp char by alot) charges into battle with his dagger and starts carving off parts of it. Then fighter and ranger come up and start hacking into it. The bard has his unseen servant start carrying 1lb of sealing wax (on fire and dripping) back and forth above the ooze, dealing like 3 heat dmg per round. So, while the fighter and ranger cut it up into multiple opponants, the bard and rogue slowly whittled off it's hp 1 dmg at a time. Very entertaining to watch, but slow as all get out, ooze had like 100 hp.
MadMoly 01-29-06, 11:05 AM	Funny one, how I took down some huge shark. Playing a half-dragon minotaur, I always walk point for the party. I led the group down a corridor that ended with a large well. Wondering how to get past, I waited a bit but our hexblade wanted to know how deep the water was and threw a rock in. Well, the rock hit the water can caused the surface to froth a bit as really big fin began surfacing. Not one to ask questions first, I blew my silver breath at the water, strike one against the shark. My party joined me at the ledge just as the shark surfaced completely and then lunged at the tiefling next to me. AoO resulted in my criting with a huge great axe (3d6 +21 x3) and blasting the thing for over 80 damage. The shark wound up swallowing the tiefling and the druid cast Bull's Strength on me. On my turn, I chose not to attack. I readied a jump action into the shark's mouth next time it opened. So it lunges toward the monk and then had an 800+lb minotaur goring its mouth. DM had me roll a strength check to hold the mouth open and I failed, heavy crushing damage. Once I was up again, I drew my mace to beable to deal some major damage later and struck out with my ax (mokey grip :) ). The shark tried to swallow me and I started going down. I ask if I can gore on the way and am told yes. More big damage and I am told roll another strength check. I roll huge and the DM says I stop my progress and am lodged in its throat. At my next action, it's too cramped to weild my weapons, so I drop them. I go into a full attack with both my claws and dislodge myself to bite, but the attack just rips the entire inside of the shark's throat out. While the body sank, I was able to walk down into the stomach and retrieve the teifling's possesions. MadMoly
speeblefreak 01-29-06, 01:05 PM	This was one of the first encounters I ever DM'd. D&D, version 3.0 basic game. We were at the part where they had to fight the gelatinous cube. 1st level players versus a gelatinous cube. Furthermor, when I looked at the creature's HD it read like this: Hit Dice: 4 (4d10+36 hit points) Now, of course, I know it meant this: 4 HD, 4d10+36 hp. But I thought it meant this: 4x(4d10+36) hp. My players (1st level, I remind you!) wound up fighting a gelatinous cube with 208 hp! They killed it easily, with only the fighter taking a hit.
Need_A_Life 01-29-06, 02:26 PM	New group, new character (still getting to know my precious spells). *We are traveling across the continent stripped of our artifacts, most powerful magical protections, templates etc. to preserve a low-profile. We have had to round up criminals to sate the LG illithids hunger. Suddenly we're stopped by an angel with black wings* Angel: "Turn back now, I have hoped that my previous gifts had convinced you not to pursue this path," Illithid: "Our mission is important and we will not turn back," Devil: "I serve the Lord of Darkness..." Illithid: "I knew it!" Devil: "Later. I am under orders from the Lord of Darkness, return to your plane now" Halfling (me): "And he would be?" Angel: "Now you die!" So in the next two rounds he has nearly dropped two of the characters (note: this is a munchkin group) when I cast Polymorph Any Object to make him a toad. Everyone is quiet. DM: "What else do you do on your turn?" *still confused* Me: "I run over and stomp on him... then I put him in my pocket"
magicdragonmage 01-29-06, 05:58 PM	The funniest kill we ever had in our campaign took place on another plane. Our Dm had some god messing with our group and shifting us through different planes. After we were shifted from a plane where everything was opposite of the normal plane (including magic, had a wild magic type effect on caster because we didn't know how magic functioned here), we were sent to a plane where metal didn't exist. So, all metal weapons were gone. My sorcerer (Brass Dragon Legacy, Quid essential sorcerer book) was the only caster. All magical effects were amplified. There were two warring houses and when we appeared, we were captured and forced to choose houses. We all didn't chose the same house because the questioned us individually. Then we were in an arena/stadium to fight each other with other members of our houses. Our grip was effectively split up and forced to fight each other. My sorcerer tried to fly out (he has wings) but hits and electric barrier. Then, I decide to kick to but. I cast a fire ball on the other house after having our group get out of the way and find out its area gets multiplied by 4! I had fire immunity so; the group just ran back and forth across the arena while I obliterated the houses. Then, I was made the emperor because of my magical prowess. Unfortunately, at the feast afterwards, a portal appeared and sucked us to another plane. Bummer. It was just so funny seeing some to the group members running like crazy because they were normally very cocky and always bragged about how good they were. Also seeing a level 6 sorcerer own a bunch of level 5 caster/warriors was memorable.
Kresalak 01-29-06, 06:36 PM	In today's level 11 game my players found themselves nearby a Death Knight who was guarding the gates to a castle. He was CR 18. They decided to fight him. So the mage talked to him (annoyed him, rather) while the cleric and druid buffed up, and the ghost faced killer walked up to him ethereally. Round one: Death knight fireballs warmage, druid, and cleric for 30 damage. Cleric charges death knight, hits and deal 30 damage. Druid charges death knight, dealing 25 damage. Warmage blasts death knight for 26 damage. Ghost faced killer charges for 20 damage. Round two: Death knight full attacks cleric, crits once. 50 damage to cleric. Cleric full attacks death knight, hits twice, deals 60 damage. Druid full attacks, misses. Warmage blasts for 50 damage. Death knight dies. A ECL 11 party killed a CR 18 death knight in two rounds. They all got a level for that.
Fenris78 01-29-06, 06:56 PM	It provokes player resentment and thus is a big no-no in the game. Even the DMG advises against that, the rationale being that it took the efforts of the whole party to get you to that position, not just yours alone. Totally, and who would ever play a cleric (let's face it; they're a support class)? I often end up playing the tank (when I'm not playing the cleric!) and all the buffs I can get off the clerics and mages mean a lot :)
Mock26 01-29-06, 07:18 PM	This was "way back when" during the days of 2nd Edition. My half-ogre (18/00 strength) and the group was inside a warehouse that had been converted into a thief's guild and we were on a search and destroy mission to elimanate all the thieves. The group thief was listening at a door while my half-ogre was standing right behind him. The thief heard someone listening on the other side of the story. While the rest of the group decided what to do in whispered voices, I said, "Me grab man behind door!" When the DM asked how I would do this I told him I would punch through the door and grab him. He had me make a Strength check (roll under my stat on a d20) and I rolled a "critical success" with a 1, so the DM declared that I had punched a perfect fist-shaped hole right through the door. I then had to make a Dex check with a -10 penalty. Well, my Dexterity was a 12, so I had to roll a 1 or a 2 on a d20 to grab the thief. I rolled a 1 again! I had grabbed the thief around the neck. The noise of punching through the door and this thief screaming his head off for help started to draw some unwanted attention. We heard reinforcements coming from beyond the door. I then yanked as hard as I could and pulled the door off of its hinges and fell back a few feet into the room we were in. While the rest of the group threw or fired weapons into the room beyond, I stood there with this new shield and absorbed arrows from the defenders of the thief's guild. Of course, the poor thief on the other side of the door was shot full of arrows by his fellow thieves. I hauled that door around through most of the adventure and ironically we actually had to beat a hasty retreat and in that same doorway I left the door in the doorframe (we nailed it in place with some broken furniture) and that poor thief was still stuck to it thanks to about 40-50 arrows that had hit the door through the course of the adventure. Take care and have a great day.... ciao, john.
digoraccoon 01-29-06, 08:29 PM	One of the best stories I have of a halarious kill is one of not quite a kill. It was when the party was traversing through a floating castle belonging to an Illithid. he party figured he was at the top of the castle so they made their way to the bottom hoping to find treasure first. They did manage to find a small cache of gold and weapons... belonging to the Illithid's pet green dragon. :D The fight dragged on. The green dragon's AC was really high and most characters had to roll at least a 17 on their d20s to connect. The dragon was quickly making hamburger out of the players when the spellcaster's support magic began running out of duration. The green dragon did have a few good wounds from the fighters and I didn't want to TPK the group because we already went through one not even 2 sessions ago. So to be nice I had the green dragon make a leap to the exit to heal and then come back to finish the party. This was to give the players about 2 turns worth to run and get out of the lair before they were toasted. The dragon makes it's leap and incurs an Attack of Opportunity from the entire party. Given how hard it has been to connect I was confident that at most the 2 fighter types would score a hit, but the dragon had plenty of Hit Points to soak their weapons. The results went something like: DM: "So what did we get for AoO rolls?" Fighter: "...Nat 20?" Ranger: "Does a Nat 20 hit?" Archer: "If it does then my 20 should hit too." Cleric: "Yeah! I got a 20 too!" Sorcerer: "Um... I got a 20?" Rogue: "I got my 20 AND confirmed it!" DM: :eek: So after a confirmed 234 points of damage my green dragon was reduced to EXACTLY zero hit points. I just... sat there dumbfounded. Cleric: "I do a heal check to make sure the dragon is stable." DM: "... not killing it?" Cleric: "Nah, I want to add insult to injury against which ever god sent the dragon against us. :P Party: :D :D :D
Steel_Dragon 01-30-06, 11:51 AM	Now, 80. And thank you for starting to number these! :thumbsup:
NotBruce 01-30-06, 02:33 PM	this was one of my favorites our party lvl 2fighter lvl 1monk/1fighter(this one is me) lvl 1rouge/fighter lvl 2rogue lvl 2monk it was a PCs are evil game, but we played smart. No mass killing or any thing we just wanted money/power and would do anything to get it(if we could get away with it). rich guy A wanted rich guy B to look bad by having us rob him and take some stuff. so we did some resurch on the guy and found out that he had a daughter. the biggest problem was the 6 trained guards that he had. we had our rouge forge some letters of some rich guy out of town sending his son and advisers to meet his girl. then after a bit of shopping, we had the fighter dressed up as a noble, his advisers, me dressed up as a Fighter and the monk was dressed up as a wizard. the 3 of us walked in the front door and started to have dinner with the rich guy (free food, score) the 2 rogues knocked out the gardeners and took there cloths and also walked in the front door a bit later(and locked it), the 2 went up stares and cleared the rest of the servants out. And so now the chess board is set, the guards are locked out side, we are finishing dinner and chatting and the 'gardeners' are just returning down stares. at this time I go to talk with the 'gardeners' saying "watch for my mark" I then threaten one of the servants that was serving dinner drawing my sword and making accusations about him poisoning the food. i return to the rich guy and put away my sword and say "my lord i regret to inform you that you have been duped" then i stunning blowed him. he lasted all of 1/5 a round as the rogues had there way with him :devil:
_Bolshack_Dragon_ 01-30-06, 10:58 PM	Ok. In the campaign I am playing in there are a total 7 people including the dm. So anyway we were on this island. This island was split up into three parts, one part good, one evil, one neutral. We were in the neutral part. The city was under seige by an undead army. We have come up across this army before, and we thought we beat it but oh well. So anyway, we didn't start on this island, we got here by ship. Oh just so you know the level of our team is like 10-12. So what we were trying to do is get back to our ship and sail away from the undead because it was a lost cause. So everyone was on the ship except for me (I am a level 10 Incarnate.) THE Barbarian, and our rouge/assasin( he's neutral, but should be evil). Anyway the ship was already moving. The Rouge just kinda flew to the ship with an alterself spell. Now me and THE barbarian fought through the army in the way of the ship. We got to the ship, but we had to just to get on. It was about 20 away and 4 feet up. We both pulled Matrix like jumps and made it. Now there were about 4 demons on our ship we had to take out, so we both attacked simultaniously. I am using a mace in combo with the lightning gauntlets dealing like 1d8+5d6(I know thats a lot but hey, its kool). THE Barbarian somehow got these two axes that originally were 2d6, but now they deal about 4d6 each, and he is level twelve. So we attacl at the same time, and we both hit. His attack sliced right though the demons upper torso sending it off the right side of the deck, and my attack bashed its head off and sent it off the left side of the deck. I think the legs are still on the deck. haha. Well thats my (and THE really strong barbarians) kill.
Silvilya 01-31-06, 05:32 PM	in my first ever session, I was playing someone else's gnome ranger in the final battle. the party was helping a small army defeat a Goblin horde and orcs, and ogres, and their special pet... a Dire Bear. We were all first level. No idea how the got to the final battle being only first level, but they did. Anyway, our party lined up with this army, facing the other army, which was bigger, meaner, and nastier. We started fighting, and then everything went wrong. Bob the Barbarian went into a rage and charged the Dire Bear. he missed it. The dire bear swatted him and he fell, unconcious and dying, at its feet. We shot things at the Dire bear, and smacked anything that came close to us. Some Ogre Mage or something cast Web, and the ENTIRE army was covered, except for me and the halfling rogue. Our fighter decided he'd had enough, transformed into a gold dragon (not sure how he could do tha, because I wasn;t ere for the developement) he did quite a bit of damage to the bear. The bear tried to hit him, missed, and stepped on Bob, killing him with a sad "squashie" noise. Our sorceress cast magic missle on the bear, and being only first level, she did about 5dmg to it. it died. The fighter was not pleased. It was very silly. Then the halfling rogue was fighting ogres.. remember he was level one. he killed about ten that day. The he tried to kill another one. it had two hp left. the resulting conversation went someting like this: Rogue:"I spit on it!" DM: "Roll to see if your God gave you the gift of deadly breath" Rogue: *calls and rolls the 1% needed* DM: WHAT???!?!?!?!? Rogue: *spits* DM: and he drops, screaming in pain and agony, as your deadly halitosis mixes with whatever it was you ate for lunch and burns away his face. After writhing for a minute, his body slowly stops twitching and lies still. Rogue: Cool!
Astigrarndorer 01-31-06, 08:23 PM	My DM created his own campaign setting and I was playing a wizard. One of the items he gave me was a Ring of Three Fireballs, a gift from my master as I set out into the real world (long story). The party had arrived in town with some prisoners in tow. These prisoners where also dressed in the garb of royal guards but were bandtis. My character wanted to kill them all but others in the party protested and we tied them all together and hauled them to the closest town to face justice. In this town were, to put it simply, Mage-Hunters; guys who hunt and kill magic users. I'm screwed. One of the prisoners notice this and scream out "Help! They're enemies of the state!" "They are twisted mages! Help!" Soon the other prisoners follow suit and we can't shut them up. The town is coming to investigate all the boo-hooing. This captures the attention of the Mage-Hunters. They use a detect magic device and see I'm covered in minor magic items and a pursuit begins. After running on the streets and ducking around corners I stop and wait. DM: What are you going to do? Me: As soon as they come around the corner I use my ring. DM: Oh, S***! Really...OK. Me: Should I roll damage? DM: Yeah, go ahead. Me: Did they save? DM: OMG, no they didn't you just roasted both of them. Me: Both of them failed? DM: Yep. Me: Cool, I check the bodies. Anyway, the party congratulated me for defeating two possible difficult foes with one blast. I respond with "See, I told you, we should have killed the prisoners and none of this would have happened. But you didn't listen. Nobody listen to the smartest member in the party."
Realms of Chaos 01-31-06, 09:32 PM	Continuing in my campaign, a realy hilarious death was dealt to my first DM's Champion (4th level barbarian feral kobold, CR 6 vs. 5 1st level characters). The Characters (now at the end of the first dungeon) made it to a room filled with a giant pen containing all of the livestock that they were sent to save. Kleptomaniac Ninja tries gate and rolls fortitude save vs. the sassone leaf resisdue smothered on it. Natural 1. Initial damage, 20 hit point damage, killing the ninja. The Half-Orc fighter with 3 intelligence bends down to weep for his friend because they had known each other for a long time (stretching into their backstory). This is shortlived as my DM's Champion walks out of the shadows. The First action of the Half-Orc. Galk (half-orc): I whack Kashu's (the ninja) dead body at it. To stunned to think and noticing that he had 19 strength, I allowed it and he made an attack roll. Barely hitting, he did 7 damage and I rolled a fortitude save against the poison for the champion. Natural 1. 15 more damage. DM (me): Okay, just for that, Kashu's getting experience. The battle continued with Galk continuing to use his friend's corpse as a club and he did a bit more damage with the poison. The best part is that all in all, Kashu's Dead corpse did more damage to my champion than anything else. :D
etfo161 01-31-06, 11:34 PM	i have had several funny kills, the first was when i was a dwarven fighter, and were were all about level 5 and we were fighting a rakshasa, the trick the dm set up was to get the rakshasa down off his pile of skulls and the dragon behind him would kill him, well first went our ranger who lunged at him and scored 2 criticals with his dual long swords, he then suck an immovable rod up inside the hole, holding it just above the gound, slowly killing it, i run around and declare that i am going to chop off the rakshasa's balls, since it was a call shot i got the natural -4 but also a +2 since he couldnt move, didnt matter as i hit a natural 20 and a second natural 20 to confirm, i got max damage plus a bonus 30 bleeding damage for the chopping of the nuts. the next one happened in a different campaign, i was a wizard and we had to climb a mountain to get a roc's egg, when we got to top, as the wizard i took feather fall so i could keep the party from falling to their deaths, all of a sudden a rehmorez attacks, and our fighter gets swallowed whole, being the only person able to attack, as everybody else was in the roc nest i fired 3 melf's acid arrowsit didnt kill him, so i ran up to him and attacked with a vampiric touch, i finally killed it but took damage from touching it, however the vampiric touch saved me and i ended up with 2hp for about 10 rounds, the paladin managed to get out of the nest and heal me to the point where i would have 1hp when the temp hp went away. that was an awsome kill even though we did lose our fighter.
Hvitar-Hrafnar 02-01-06, 08:17 PM	The most memorable and unrealistic fight so far is the campaign had an 10 Druid/1 Iron Feather in. First note: The Barbarian talked about here is 12th level. After defeating an unreal undead army from atop some sort of monolithic wall piped with gravebane and built by the dwarves, the party traveled back to the village we were essentially the government in. All the while worried, of course, over three death bringers and a black dragon we did not slay. [Take note our average ECL is only about 11 and each of the listed enemy is 20+ CR.] Not long after we find the three Death Bringers and the Black Dragon flying at our flooding city. Each of the Death Bringers had been some sort of general in the destroyed undead army. The lead Death Bringer was Colossal, making me assume around 70+ HD. So they begin their assault on the city; we were scared to say the least. My Druid, our Raptoran Cleric and the Psion/Thrallherd's Wizard buffed our Barbarian [Known as THE Barbarian in a previous post by Bolshack Dragon, who was playing the Raptoran Cleric at the time] so he was Huge in size, had 40+ strength, was immune to all death effects and energy drains, and had a massive amount of HP -- draining the high level spells of our characters. He then decided to go into Rage and get even more powerful. The first Death Bringer entered the city by stepping over the walls we had spent months and unreasonable amounts of money building to defend our small village. Our Barbarian [12th level] meets him in combat and by doing an amazing amount of damage, downs the 20+ CR beast in 2 rounds! [Not entirely sure how this happened] For the second Death Bringer we used an artifact that was a Crown. When you put it on the head of any being, including a dead one, the Crown would take over it's mind and give it one if it didn't have one. This Crown was intelligent and controlled the wearer, but it had a will save. Luckily we got it on the head of a Death Bringer and then our faithful Psion Dominated the crown. The Barbarian then destroyed the dominated death bringer. The third and final death bringer was dominated and under our control. Then the Dragon decided to step in. Our Rogue/Assassin, who was wading through the flood waters, became a victim of it's Acid Breath Weapon. She was so badly burned the gold in her back pack became fused to her skin and bone. The rest is a bit blurry. Somehow the Barbarian grabbed the dragon and picked it up -- noting this is a GREAT WYRM BLACK DRAGON -- then threw it into a house in the classic Mario-Grabs-Bowser's-Tail-And-Spin-Throws-Him attack. We then got the Dragon netted from ballista coordination. Once it was netted and hardly putting up a fight for a Great Wyrm -- one that could crush us all in a few rounds -- somehow the Barbarian walked up to the dragon, and with a burst of rage and strength, lowered his axe to it's neck. The dragon, at full HP, was slain in one hit by a buffed 12th level. We escaped the village with no PC casualties. This might not be a funny story, but it is some of the worst following-the-rules I have ever seen. [Aware that the DM believed this was all within the rules and had the guts to put us up against 4 epic BBEG's anyway]
Thubby 02-02-06, 12:03 AM	most histerical kill in the history of kills. we are a 4 man group, im playing an order of the bow initiate 2/ftr5. in a random encounter, a greatwurm red dragon drops in front of us. me:*stepping out of cart* ill hold him off as long as i can, u guys run. they start running i (of course) win initiative. but only after the rest of th eparty has retreated (they got higher than me) me: i shoot it with my bow, rolls... nat 20, rolls again...nat 20, rolls 2 more times, with 2 different die(my dm is paranoid) both 20s. DM: you plant the arrow in its brain through its nose, it stares blankly, then slumps over dead. me: seriously??? dm:*scratching his head* ya a minute later, after recovering from shock me: wait a minute... wheres my party??? (they had never stopped running) we caught up a week later in our base town, me at 1/5 hp, they just look at me and say "oh... your not dead" "-,-"" -,-" "-,-" after about 3 seconds of absolute silence, we all burst into gut busting laughter :dancin: :dancin: :dancin: :king: :cheer: :cheer: :cheer: :invasion: :D :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
High Octane 02-02-06, 01:14 AM	As a house rule, at the time, if you rolled a 1 followed by another 1 in my campaign, you hit an ally within reach. If there were none, you went up a step but thats neither here nor there. The party got attacked by ghouls, normal random encounter, not so normal results. After a couple of rounds, two ghouls are on top of one of the characters, one of the ghouls is already half dead. That ghoul attacks. Double natural 1s. He hit his ghoul ally. Not a big deal until I say "Wait, ghouls have a paralyzing attack.... are they immune to another ghouls touch?: Silence. I check the books. I cant find anything that says so. I roll a fort save for the ghoul that got hit. He fails. I close my monster manual, say they both just fall over dead. I think I cried a little.
kinjojones 02-02-06, 04:18 AM	The big bad hybrid dwarf/troll in full plate with a howler pet and Hobgoblin bodyguards. He gets hit in the first round with alchemist fire and spends the next several rounds failing his reflex saves. Finally he goes prone and just barley makes the save, next round stands up and gets hit with with another Alchemist fire. Flails around screaming continually failing saves while we pick off his cohorts from behind our make shift barricade with bows and reach weapons. All his buddies are dead and he just goes for broke and decides to get up (he was still prone trying to put out the flames) and charge the barricade while still on fire. He gets disarmed as soon as he comes within range of my fighter's ransuer and drops his Urgrosh. He takes a beating from our weapons and gets dropped to -1 HP and he falls prone. Then fast healing kicks in heals some of the physical damage bumping him to 1 HP. He suffers 1 pt. of fire damage and immediatly after that gets killt while he's prone in the next round. <Edit: Oh yeah> We were a group of level 2 characters, 2 PCs and two NPCs that travelled with us as well as two slaves who we rescued in the dungeon who wanted to fight with us who were really just commoners with a grudge. It was supposed to be an EL 6 battle, but the only damage we took was when the rogue rolled a 1 and dropped an alchemist fire in our midst dealing us all 1 pt of damage.
b3jsd73jfx 02-02-06, 05:47 AM	Not really a death, but a "battle" we won. We're preparing to fight in our first of many "Ragnaroks" (the final battle) and we're discussing "terms" with an enemy scout. We can't see the enemy for some reason, and they can't see us. We can only catch glimpses of each other when lightning flashes. Here's how the conversation goes: *blah blah blah* Our Monk: "Well... can your guys fight stuff they can't see?" Enemy Scout: "Umm... no..." Our Monk: "Well... uh... ours can, so you might want to leave now and no one has to die" DM: *rolls bluff check* Enemy Scout: "Oh really!? Ok.. and uh... thanks for letting us off the hook!" Greatest moment we've ever had. Of course, we realized about 10 minutes later that the gods were now insanely ****** at us!
Steel_Dragon 02-04-06, 12:31 AM	...91...
_Bolshack_Dragon_ 02-04-06, 12:41 AM	I remember that Hrafnar. I remember one battle I was in before the undead and insane people stormed the city. I was my Incarnate. I was in an arena battle against a sorcerer that I guess was at a decent level because these fights were set up so people can choose how strong an opponent will be. Easy, MEDIUM, large, and huge (lots of originality right there folks) So anyway. We rolled for initiative and i got stuck with second move. So first I saw the sorceror do something with his hands, but nothin else. So I take out my mace, and charge in. I rolled high enough to hit him, but it went right through him. I figured it was an image spell. I was right. Next thing I knew there was the image of a Death Bringer right there in front of me. So I am cowering for a short perion of time. Then I realized I had my Detect oppostion power, so I used it and determined that he was right behind me, and invisable. So with my Mantle of Flame soulmeld that I had bound to my Shoulder Chakra, I hit him by spreading the fire of my soulmeld, dealing a nice amount of damage. After that the dm made him attack me with a short sword i think(he with for like 2 points[pathetic choice of a turn if you ask me]) So on my turn I attacked him with my favorite Mace/Chakra Bound Lightning Gauntlets combo. I hit him for a large amount of damage and he decided to quit before i killed him. Now I realize that isn't that funny, but that battle took me 3 ROUNDS!!! My DM didn't really know how to use the spell caster that well in my opinion. I could have gone up against a fighter or something stronger, but the officials in the arena considered my soulmelds magic.
_Bolshack_Dragon_ 02-04-06, 12:53 AM	I have ANOTHER!!!!! I remember I was helping a friend test out a Campaign setting he was creating. I was playing a level 6 fighter for this. I was sent on a mission with this military-type organization. We were ordered to go and wipe out this cult south of the city we lived in. It was about a weeks journey to get there. Once we got there we discovered that the building was filled with skeletons. Hundreds of them. Most were various medium sized skeletons, but there were some large sized ones as well(those were tough). So anyway. I whipped out my Flaming Greatsword, and started to do my damage. Skeletons started to swarm us. I am very glad I took the Great Cleave feat, because I kept dropping one skeleton after another. It was so hilarious. 5 skeletons at a time would swarm me. Then when I decided to attack my rolls were almost godly. Constant rolls like 17, 16, 18, 19, 20 (and some of those were natural) I had to have killed atleast 17 skeletons in a row before my killing streak ended.
caminator4444 02-04-06, 02:20 AM	my friend threw a magical potion at my face and made me do +90 damage killing a 85hp dragon in one hit. yes i have already told this story mister ranters :shifty: do not bother me about it
Mentar 02-04-06, 04:12 AM	1st edition game with some odd items the GMs daughter had designed, most of the party is level 11-13, I am a level 5 gnome wizard. I had recieved two magic items from a fight with a group of 5 level 15 knights with all sorts of oddball items. These items were boots of misty speed (walk on clouds/haste) and a pin in the shape of a rot grub (1hp vermin that eats hearts). One member of our group was captured by an adult black dragon (not sure actual age) and the rest of the party was going to use helms of teleportation to get him back. Our bard had a rod of force to distract the dragon while they rescued our captive party member. *tug on the bard's sleave* "Take me with you, I am only 50 pounds." "We won't be able to get everyone out if I do." "Take me, trust me I have an idea" *evil grin* "Ok." We teleport in, bard puts a wall of force above the dragon's head, I run full speed at the dragon. Dragon bangs it's head on the wall and moves to the side. "Can I touch it yet?" DM checks and says "sure" "Ok, I use my pendant." Party and DM "WHAT?" "I use my pendant" DM *rolls to see if the dragon even notices a gnome touching it* "Ok, you turn into a rot grub and start burrowing into it's flesh" Bard keeps moving the wall of force around, taking one back putting another up to keep the dragon from breathing on the party, half an hour later the dragon falls dead. Party (except bard) "What happened?" DM explains "A rot grub will burrow into a body and eat the heart, then burrow back out. 20 min later a rot grub pops out of the dragon, I change back to normal. "Man that's nasty *hurl*" ooc "so, do I get solo exp for killing the dragon?" DM "No, but I will give you 3/4, oh and you will be sick for the next two weeks, black dragons are poisonous."
v2099 02-04-06, 05:24 AM	this happened a few days ago in a session, this is in an evil campain; there's 3 of us all lvl 2 warlock, halfelve ranger, barbarian(me): there was some wanted posters, and one was a lady wanted dead for killing children, the warlock decided to go hunt for her with the ranger, since i can't read, and they didn't tell me anything. i went about my shopping and upgradings, while the other 2 went for info gathering. at night they went to the sewers to hunt for her, and i slept in a tervan. while expolring the sewers with a torch they forgot that i'm the only 1 with darkvision, the elf try to toss a sunrod further to the end of the sewers so that he can see further, but he rolled a 2 and it landed in the waters 5 ft infront of the 2. later deeper, they warlock got backstabed by the lady with sneek attack dealing 11 damage. they chase after her but she dissepeared in to the pipes. then they turn around they saw her standing infront of them, before they could do anything the elf got a dagger in his chest of 8 damage. the woman dissapeared again. they both got so frustrated they drank a healing potion and left the sewers. the next morning they had no choice but to cal me along. so we went after the warlock bought 6 healing potions. we went up to the point they were 1st attacked. as son as we turned around the conner, the warlock got hit in the chest for another 11 damage, we then chased her and killed her, we laughed our arses off, because the warlock had the most daggers stuck on his body
Radijs 02-04-06, 07:00 AM	So here we where. In the middle of the evil temple sneaking up on 7 priestresses. They go into the torture chamber and I sneak after them. 3 strip down and let themselves get tied down. 3 others start working on them while the 4th watches being appearantly some kind of instructor. I make a mental comment about those dominatrixes having some darn nice racks, sneak up on the high priestress and filet her in my surprise round, winning initiative and cutting her spleen out and showing it to her. The DM asks why the spleen? Because I'm a halfling! I can't reach her heart!
stackmachine 02-05-06, 07:45 AM	I was DMing a campaign for a couple of friends, running them into an encounter against some kuo-toas, who attacked with shortspears (was the Caves of Ancient module by Monte Cook). After some rounds, only two of them where standing, flanking the partycleric, who was badly injured as well. The rest of the party where unconcious/ dying due to their early inability to retreat when necessary ;-). This is how it turned out: Me: Roll for ini. (we rolled every turn for it back then) The cleric got first in order simultaneously with one of the baddies. Cleric: I hit him for 8 points. Enough to kill him? Me: Well yes, but since he is attacking in the same instant... Let’s see … (rolling a 1, after that rolling another 1, which meant critical fumble per our houserule, worst result spontaneously imaginable). Okay, this is what happens. You crush it’s scull with a mighty right swing. It’s eyes turn inward while it twitches uncontrollably. In the same instant, it’s spear misses your left shoulder, piercing your cloak, bypassing you. It hits the chest of your rear opponent, piercing the heart. Both go down. Congratulations! Cleric: :D (making spanish bull-fighting gesture) Olé!!!
big_bluto 02-06-06, 12:19 PM	Hi, all, first post. Our DM has been running us on a campaign for a few weeks now, and it's all going well. We have a Paladin (8), Sorceror (8), Ranger/Sorceror (6/2, DM's PC), Fighter (8), and a Rogue/Bard (4/2), and the BBEG is a Lich Lord. We've been in a few skirmishes with him, but when we start getting over 100 points of damage on him, he vanishes. OOC, the DM's wife works with me, so we decided to cook up some tactics to try and kill the lich, to see how the DM would react, really just for fun. Anyway, we ran into him, a couple of trolls and a level 6 evil cleric, and had an amazing run of luck, hitting 2 d20's on one troll, killing the other with three hits, and setting the lich on fire with greek oil and alchemists fire in the first round. Lich's spell missed. Second Round, more greek oil on the lich, cleric killed, troll killed, lich lord hit with the Paladin's trademark move, a running dropkick, and subsequently knocked on his back. Lich took half Paladin's HP with a mace swipe. All PC's continue to set Lich on fire, wail on Lich with weapons & spells, and take attacks of opportunity every time the Lich got up. Except the DM's PC, the Ranger. (DM is looking a bit sick at this point!) Me (OOC): Get your ranger in there. DM (OOC): No, he'd stand back and shoot arrows. Me (OOC): He sees the evil guy on his back, surrounded, getting battered, and he would stand back? No way! DM's wife (OOC): He'd draw swords and attack! Fighter (OOC): Stop being a wuss! Me (OOC): Get in there. DM (OOC, shaking his head, and looking paler): I've only got 10HP left. Me: (OOC): My Paladin will heal you. Ranger: I draw swords, and attack the lich, standing here. (moves figure to lich's feet) The group get's the lich frozen and down to 29 HP, next round the lich casts some spell, which kills the DM's Ranger, the group's fighter, and the Paladin (who's sword resurrects him). DM now looks depressed at death of his ranger. Paladin: I swing (17), and hit, (11Hp), swing again, (14Hp). Me (OOC): Only 4HP left! Sorceress: LIGHTNING STRIKE. (Rolls damage, 49HP) YAY! Lich dies, DM looks utterly gutted, realising that his BBEG and his Ranger are dead, and we're only halfway through the campaign. 10 minutes later, it becomes apparent that the Lich can regenerate into the nearest dead body, the cleric, and will be back in 3 days. We figured this would happen, but it was worth it to see the DM's face! :D
Dei 02-09-06, 07:26 PM	Our mostly good aligned group was in an ancient tomb attempting to prevent the awakening of some ancient evil wizard. As part of the plan we'd gathered around a teleportation circle where we suspected a party of Drow would soon arrive. They arrive, we open up on them. Problem 1: They've just been through another, not very difficult fight and so are buffed to the max with protection spells up the wazoo. Problem 2: The DM had forgotten to account for the ECL adjustment that Drow get to their character levels so here was us, a 12th level party against a ECL 16-17 party, there were 7 of us and four of them but still, when the 17 is a cleric of Loth, problems occure. The combat swiftly turned rather bad for us with the cleric doing most of the damage, Blasphemy, Word of Chaos and a gated in Magic Gaunt battering our melee fighters to the ground, a pair of monks still standing but utterly useless because of all the effects on them and the Drow's SR having nullified huge amounts of nuking from our magic users. Eventually the magic users, despite the difference in caster levels decided to try area dispels to get the party back on its feet. Cleric: *rolls* 18! *thinks* Caster level 29 do it? Dm: :eek: yeah, this and this are removed from the monks and you see this removed from the Drow. Bard: *rolls* 20! Caster level 32 do it? Dm: Omg! Yes, this and this are removed from the monks and you see something else removed from the Drow. DMPC wizard: *rolls* 19! DM: O.O wtf? Damn, the last of the negative effects are removed from the monks and the final protections are gone from the Drow. The two monks: :bounce: :evillaugh It was still a pretty hard fight but the dispels had nullified two of the cleric's most powerful spells and from then on the thing was pretty much a foregone conclusion. Even when the cleric hit my monk with a disintegrate that he failed the save for he managed to survive and eventually we killed them all without a single party member dead :cool: . The funniest thing though was that it was the DM's own PC that removed the last of the effects from the group, the look on his face when that 19 came up was priceless. Although what was almost as good was when the cleric tried to use slippers of spider climb to escape up a wall and died from the AoO from my monk :P.
Steel_Dragon 02-09-06, 08:17 PM	Our mostly good aligned group was in an ancient tomb attempting to prevent the awakening of some ancient evil wizard. As part of the plan we'd gathered around a teleportation circle where we suspected a party of Drow would soon arrive. They arrive, we open up on them. Problem 1: They've just been through another, not very difficult fight and so are buffed to the max with protection spells up the wazoo. Problem 2: The DM had forgotten to account for the ECL adjustment that Drow get to their character levels so here was us, a 12th level party against a ECL 16-17 party, there were 7 of us and four of them but still, when the 17 is a cleric of Loth, problems occure. The combat swiftly turned rather bad for us with the cleric doing most of the damage, Blasphemy, Word of Chaos and a gated in Magic Gaunt battering our melee fighters to the ground, a pair of monks still standing but utterly useless because of all the effects on them and the Drow's SR having nullified huge amounts of nuking from our magic users. Eventually the magic users, despite the difference in caster levels decided to try area dispels to get the party back on its feet. Cleric: *rolls* 18! *thinks* Caster level 29 do it? Dm: :eek: yeah, this and this are removed from the monks and you see this removed from the Drow. Bard: *rolls* 20! Caster level 32 do it? Dm: Omg! Yes, this and this are removed from the monks and you see something else removed from the Drow. DMPC wizard: *rolls* 19! DM: O.O wtf? Damn, the last of the negative effects are removed from the monks and the final protections are gone from the Drow. The two monks: :bounce: :evillaugh It was still a pretty hard fight but the dispels had nullified two of the cleric's most powerful spells and from then on the thing was pretty much a foregone conclusion. Even when the cleric hit my monk with a disintegrate that he failed the save for he managed to survive and eventually we killed them all without a single party member dead :cool: . The funniest thing though was that it was the DM's own PC that removed the last of the effects from the group, the look on his face when that 19 came up was priceless. Although what was almost as good was when the cleric tried to use slippers of spider climb to escape up a wall and died from the AoO from my monk :P. Congrats! You're the proud poster of kill/story #100!!! :pile: They're pilein' up!
Icarus_Featherbrain 02-10-06, 07:38 AM	I once played a LVL 5 LN Grey Elf Swashbuckler who was REALLY into honorable 1-on-1 duels. Me and my Hexblade partner were crossing a rope bridge only to find an ogre on the other side demanding that we pay a toll for crossing his bridge, I accepted and started to pull money out when the Hexblade attacked. :nonono: The ogre beat the snot out of him as I refused to enter the fray... it wouldn't have been honorable. I decided to avenge the death of my friend and proceeded to mop the floor with the ogre's face... :cool: until hit pulled a tree out of the ground and beat me to death with it.... :weep: (hit with a lucky crit)
dog_mu 02-10-06, 01:27 PM	This took place in a pulp-fiction type campaign, set in the late 19th century. Our party is dealing with some nasty land-grabbers, and they decoy us into a mine, then pop up outside the mouth. One of them throws in a lit stick of dynamite. My character (who is only average with a gun) jumps up and fires at the stick. Despite having only about a 10% chance of pulling this off, he succeeds, and the stick blows up near the bad guys, killing all of them and deafening us, but not collapsing the mine entrance. My character never admitted to that being pure blind luck.
Aristaeus 02-10-06, 04:49 PM	Get 1 group of knights to charge your party in traditonal wedge form. Get 1 smartass wizard to toss out a darkness. Get the front knight to fail his ride check when the horse tries to slow down. Watch the follow up impale the first knight. Then take a break as the DM is trying to regain his composure.
Fanged Fremont 02-10-06, 04:58 PM	Begining of a 1st level campaign where the PC's have to escape prison during a raid. After escaping their cell, the party ranger rolls insanely high on her listen check and hears a guard coming. They blinded him using a bucket of poo and proceeded to beat him to death with said bucket.
ConclaveKing 02-10-06, 11:52 PM	I just tossed a skull at a kobold and killed him :uh-huh:. Yeah, what luck.
Birdman 02-12-06, 02:12 PM	This kill was by total accident. We had just fought a bunch of goblins and wounded orcs, there were these catches that held human thieves but when ever we opened one up these skeletons would appear. so anyways I broke the thieves kneecaps so they couldn't run away(their friends stole our gold)(fyi:we were all level one) Me(cleric):I through a torch in to light the pile of bones on fire. DM:ummm ok roll plz Me:three does it hit DM:you hit the humans causing theme to burst into flames lighting everthing on fire including the bones. Me:.....are the skeletons died? DM:yes Me:....how about the humans? DM:there eyes are melting Me:.....o....I search them for gold DM:.....you heartless bastard
TIK_ 02-12-06, 07:54 PM	After being grappled by the Dire Bear (at character level 10) "I Pin the bear" (rolls, wins by a fluke) After being grappled by the Blue Dragon (at character level 20) "I will Pin the dragon" (rolls, wins by a fluke) Read fluke in Natural 20 on grapple check and the DM rolling a natural 1
Pencil Number 2 02-12-06, 08:51 PM	While playing a fifth level imp using Savage Species monster class progression, I convinced the captain of the local guard that the common guards were making fun of his facial scar. I was shapeshifted via Hat of Disguise into a Halfling and had Undetectable Lie from AEG's Feats book (I know, AEG, everyone cringe), so he believed me completely. He executed the four of them later that day. What can I say, they were making fun of my height...
Steel_Dragon 02-13-06, 11:23 PM	81, It's slowin' down.
SanguinaryPanda 02-13-06, 11:52 PM	F1/Wiz3 Versus Warlock 4, a PVP battle between a friend and I. Round 1 Me: Casts Grease on lock. Lock: Fails reflex save and slips, stands up and takes 5-foot step. Round 2 Me: Casts Wall of Smoke on lock. Lock: Trips from Grease, nauseated by Wall of Smoke. Able to stand only. Round 3 Me: Advances and casts Combust (3d8 damage with no save, chance to catch fire, increased by Grease) Lock: Trips in Grease, Nauseated, and dies instantly from fire damage. Two level 1 spells, one level 2 spell, Flawless Victory.
Khisanth Magus 02-14-06, 02:37 PM	83? This one happened in the first adventure of a very short-lasting planescape game. I was playing a half-gold dragon cleric who used the character point system to gain most of the wizard schools, who also happened to avoid killing people at pretty much any cost. Anyways, the game started off in the most typical way possible...in a bar. This bar happened to be in Sigil, the City of Doors. Well, my character came with an attached PC, an avariel wizard he was in love with. To make a long story short, someone ended up attacking my character's girlfriend, so my character punched the guy. Rolled a nat 20. 25 str(the DM was the one who made the character for me). I did over 30 damage to a lvl 0 civilian, sending him through 2 walls, after which is mangled, VERY dead body fell. My character was a broken wreck after that >.<
Adriac 02-14-06, 08:41 PM	I was with a spellcaster sort person and we run into an alley with five bandits mugging guards. the spellcaster goes first and uses a spell. In order to cut the 32 dmg in half they had to make reflex roll. They all failed so 2 died and 3 fell unconscious. Me: magic takes sport out of kills Her: dont unsult me
Khisanth Magus 02-15-06, 12:14 AM	Oh, I had another one that was rather amusing, although technically it wasn't an "enemy" I killed. Basically the party had been divided into 2 parts and each part was trying to kill the other. Well, my half made it to the dungeon that was the goal of both halves first. We laid an ambush. We managed to suprise them and got a suprise round. I got up close to the entrance where they were all lined up, and Sudden Maximized Dance of Ruin. Both of the PCs in range failed their saving throws. 40 damage to both, both are at -10 or below...unfortunatly the DM didn't want that half of the party dead(they were the good half, I was on the evil half), so he concocted a way for them to "survive" it...
Elbethamore 02-15-06, 09:18 AM	In a recent game, we walked into a room full of zombies. Apparently we were supposed to interact with them. My cleric of Pelor didn't know that, and he hates undead anyway. A natural 20 on my turn attempt killed the lot of them, so we never really found out what kind of information they had. DM: :weep:
Glenn4Moose 02-15-06, 10:51 AM	Lvl 8 characters running through a giant temple in xendrik in an ebberon campaign. I play a warlock, and we had a ranger/reach runner shifter along with a variety of others. We stumble across the BBEG inspecting a large throne inscribed with runes and he is disguised as an old woman. The party is confused but the reach runner sees through the disguise and attacks the old lady. That caused the ready action of casting invis to happen and the attack missed. As a warlock, I had see the unseen(yay for perm see invis) and I popped the guy in the first round. Second round the reach runner readies to attack and calls out for my character to mark the target. I roll my attack on him, crit, deal near max damage and kill him outright. Needless to say he didn't need to be marked. Worse part after that is the minions come running in, almost all fail their reflex saves and die in a flamestrike. Only thing left was 2 minions and a warforged fighter who we killed mightly.
OneSidedDice 02-15-06, 09:43 PM	Wow, I have so many of these stories. Here's one about a fellow PC who killed himself. The party consisted of myself, a fighter-type; a half-dragon paladin; a human druid; an elven arcane archer; and the PC in question, a half-dragon hexblade, who was just created to replace a recently dead character. We were working our way through an undead-filled dungeon, and came across several vampire fighters sparring with each other. Our two groups spotted one another, and we started to brawl. The druid and archer were supporting us with ranged attacks and spells while myself, the paladin, and the hexblade each took on a vampire, of which there were three. I dropped mine pretty quickly, and the paladin ran over to help the hexblade, who was not faring well. By the time the paladin and hexblade dropped that vampire, the hexblade was down to 1 HP, and there was a partially wounded vampire remaining. The paladin and I move to engage, and the hexblade charges the vampire with his remaining hit point. He also drained as much power attack as he could, so he missed. The vampire just sort of turned around, casually swatted the hexblade dead with his next attack, and carved a few more HP off the paladin before we brought him down. We still talk about his famous "1 HP vampire charge". ______________________ In a different (3.0) game, one of my friends was playing a weapons master. At one point or another, weapons masters end up getting 1 + Wis modifier + Dex modifier AoOs each round due to class abilities and the Combat Reflexes feat. He also had the Hold the Line feat, which entitled him to an AoO against anything charging him. We were boarding a ship, and the weapons master was the first across. He plunked down on the deck, and was promptly charged by as many enemy sailers as could swarm around him. They all died before even striking a blow. Talk about grass attacking a lawnmower. _____________________ In the campaign I currently play in, I play Thoor, a LG dwarf cleric of St. Cuthbert. It seems that whenever I am reduced to exactly 0 HP, I'm able to slay whatever it is I'm swinging at before passing out. I've dropped a dire bader or a dire wolverine (can't remember which) in this fashion, as well as a large earth elemental (but only after it pulped the gnome sorcerer the round before :( ). After the latest incident of what has come to be called "Zero hit point deathblow", one of the other players commented to me, "Hey, great work on convincing the DM to let you take that deathblow feat. It's really cool." "Yeah, it...Wait, what?" "The zero hit point deathblow feat." "What feat?" "You mean it's all just been luck?" _______________________ In a different campaign, I was playing a two-weapon fighting dwarf rogue/dread pirate, and my party members and I stumbled upon our employers house as it was being attacked by demons. The DM described the situation, saying our employer was unconscious with one of his swords still embedded in a demon. We sprung to his aid, cutting up a demon or two before the most powerful remaining one started sundering the fighters' weapons. One of my own was also lost before two of the meat shields were able to grapple the thing. So I'm sitting there with my pathetic little dagger, thinking, "Okay, I have to find some kind of weapon to help out with." I then announce to the DM my intent to seize hold of the weapon embedded in the demon, pull it out, and put it back in again. Rolls ensue, and I manage to get the short sword out and strike the demon with it. The DM rolls a die behind the screen, and then starts swearing at me. Turns out the sword was an intelligent weapon, with the special purpose of destroying demons. Its special purpose power was disintegrate, and the demon rolled a 1 on its save. _______________________ And finally, the coupe de grace: It was the last session of a game run by a truly horrific DM. This DM had recently purchased the Manual of the Planes (3.0), and apparently decided that since our group at the time had a large number of powerful physical damage dealers, pretty much everything we fought had the shadow template, which meant a 50% miss chance for all attacks directed at it. The BBEG of the campaign was no exception. I'm still not totally sure what it was, but I'm pretty certain it was a tarrasque with the shadow template applied, and its resistances and SR beefed way up. I think our party was something like a wizard, a sorcerer/blood witch (from Relics and Rituals...some pretty broken PrC that could get access to the druid spell list and some druid class features, too), a cleric, a rogue, a barbarian/Eye of Gruumsh, and my character, a paladin archer. Combat commenced with this beast, and it soon became apparent that only the barbarian and I could do anything to it. The rogue just didn't have the damage capacity without his sneak attack to cause any meaningful amount of damage, so he just went to stand in a corner to sulk. The cleric tried to support us with spells, but nothing had any effect, so he just healed us. The arcane casters tried to weigh in with their attack spells, but they literally needed to roll a 19 or a 20 to bypass its SR, and even if they did, it had elemental resistance approaching 50 and enormous save bonuses. The blood witch just started playing with his dire tiger animal companion, and the sorcerer started messing around with a rod of wonder he was carrying, pointing it above the beast's head, trying to produce some useful effect. The barbarian and I were the only characters capable of dealing any damage, and then only 50% of the time even when we hit. We were slowly whittling the beast's hit points down, amidst showers of flowers and butterflies from the rod of wonder, when suddenly the sorcerer's player shouts, "Awesome!" Turns out he rolled the "rhino" result, so the BBEG's remaining 17 hit points were removed by a falling rhino.
Eagle_13 02-16-06, 07:47 PM	I have a story to share aswell, only it is not the enemy dying, but me. I am playing a very anoying character, especially because I seemed (went level 3 paladin, no more illnesses or alike) to suffer from extreme paranoia. After being put on watch I start casting as many Detect Evil spells as I can before the DM gets ****** of. This also ticks off the other members in the party and they start to attack me as soon as my watch is over. As soon as I remove my armor to go to sleep they atttack me and start shooting and slashing at me. The best part is that they miss, except one, she hits me with an unarmed attack (***** slap) and not wearing armor these two hits get me down to -1 HP. They felt so sorry they all tried to revive me. To this day I have to hear the words: "do I have to ***** Slap you again" as soon as I start getting annoying.
Moosh Nailo 02-17-06, 12:33 AM	Group I was playing with, world games day, not an enemy kill but a PC. So we had played this entire level, and somehow nobody died (we had 1 DM and around 12-14 players). The last boss, a giant undead worm, we managed to kill it, but it knocked one of the wizards (this was the player's first game) down to exactly -9. The best healer went over to use heal to stabilize the guy. The great part is, the healer managed to roll a 1. No more wizard :D.
Adam Smite 02-17-06, 01:32 AM	Not D&D, and technically not a kill, but still great. Playing Star Wars RPG, I was playing an Imperial Officer (Noble) in charge of some of the stormtroopers (the rest of the party). We had been told to wipe out a Rebel encampment in one area, so we went over there. After killing many of them with an E-Web and blowing up their cover with an AT-ST's Laser cannons, I offered them the chance to surrender (my character always does that when he is winning). They refused, so we killed them some more. Finally, there are just two guys left, a schmuck and a higher level scout/sniper person. He makes to get on a speeder bike and get away, and the E-Web shoots it out from under him. I offer him one last chance to surrender, and he decides to show he'ld rather die than be taken prisoner and held up a cyanide pill so we could see it. I pull out my pistol. Burn a Force point. Roll a 17+6+3=26 to shoot the pill. Roll a 7 on the percentile and 18 for damage. Good-bye Mr. Hand. Later, while he is being tortured for information, I lean over and say, "You know, you would be much more comfortable if you had surrendered the first time."
Steel_Dragon 02-20-06, 01:26 PM	18, I don't know why I said 81 last time, sorry.
dragonseth 02-20-06, 05:41 PM	Next is 134 I think. Please start labeling pplz! :D
grodech 02-20-06, 08:12 PM	Dead of winter - PC's spot some orcs standing guard outside a small cave not too far from where they're holed up for winter. The kender and the pixie, being bored from being cooped up in the compound all winter, decide to find out if the orcs like hot cocoa and prepare a small cask of hot cocoa for the orcs. Amused by the concept, the centaur escorts them. They approach the cave (undetected as the pixie has made them invisible) to find a single orc standing guard. The kender hands the centuar the cask, who yells "Hey orcbreath, have some cocoa!" and chucks the cask at the orc, caving in his skull and drenching him in blood and hot cocoa.
GunsNRoses 02-20-06, 09:58 PM	i posted this on somthing else, but here it is again Im a highish level sorcerer, and were about to fight a red dragon that had us trapped. the dragon was obviously a bit powerful for us, but we were gonna try it, just for fun. SO, we turn to fight, and i win initiative. Disintigration. Bam. One dead pile of dust. Us: :eek: Next big battle was with the boss of said dragon, a fallen angel I win intitiative again. Im like, if i kill this thing, im gonna scream. Disintigration. Me: HOLY S**T!!!! IT DIED!!!!! We still laugh about the disintigration of doom today.
Steel_Dragon 02-20-06, 11:12 PM	Next is 134 I think. Please start labeling pplz! :D Ya can't rust the number man, there are little things that cange th number. and when I say '18', I mean '118'.
Worguron 02-21-06, 01:17 AM	125 (Counting from the 100th story). At the end of a year long campaign, my character is leaping through time to fight various alternate versions of the BBEG as he tries to change the course of history. After the second of the alternate versions is dead, I realize I can't fight another of his duplicates in my human form (I was a gestalt Noble/Sorceror Human Weretiger . . . . it is a long and complicated story), so I turn into my hybrid form and continue to the next area. The DM had planned on having the final of the three fights be the fight full of banter and take longer than the others since I would have used almost all of my spell points. Unfortunately, I couldn't talk in my hybrid form, and I had just enough spell points left to ruin his plans. Entering the final area, I cast fly and go after the BBEG who is flying in the air and shooting at me with his pistol (futuristic setting). Well, he apparantly had a few interesting items and dispelled my flight spell. Glancing at my character sheet, a devilish idea entered my mind. I believe that the OOC conversation with my DM went something like this: Me -"I look up at the bastard and growl, then I cast the following spell, but I don't want everyone else to know what it is unless it works." [I slip the DM a slip of paper] DM - "Please tell me you are kidding and you don't actually have that spell." Me - "Sorry, took it when I got my last level." DM - "Grrrrr. . . . . . . . What is the DC? Oh, nevermind you wrote it down." One failed save later (Failed the save by 1 in fact). DM - "Well, a small white bunny falls to the floor and scurries away." Me - "I walk over, pick it up (There was no way a rabbit could win a grapple against a large Weretiger) . . . . . . well I have more than one attack in a round, so that grapple is only my first attack. . . . . . . so I put him in my mouth and bite him in half." DM - "Normally I would say you can't Coup de Grace something with anything less than a full round . . . . but you can put the whole rabbit in your mouth and you just ruined my final fight by turning into something that can't banter and then turned my BBEG into something that can't banter either."
OneSidedDice 02-21-06, 02:55 AM	126? I was playing in an epic-level game, and the party ran afoul of a beastie. I think it was a white slaad. Said slaad throws a spell at our wizard, who identifies it as implosion. The save DC was somewhere in the 30's, and the wizard had absolutely no chance of passing the save. Then I chimed in, "Hey, didn't you cast spell turning the previous round?" "Yeah!" The DM glared at me. Turns out the slaad had no chance of passing its own save DC.
Steel_Dragon 02-21-06, 01:03 PM	The next story is #123, I re-counted every story...
seret 02-21-06, 03:36 PM	okay the bbeg dragon flyes in and everybody exept me and my friend the rogue who was hidding in the corner get scared (cant remember name of that abbility). my turn Hold monster nat 1 dragons hit with its crush attack( no flapping wings) and rogue walks down and coup de grac(sp?) :D
Kaio_Hiketes 02-24-06, 03:17 PM	I was a LN female monk and had been searching for the baddie for a while. He was an oppressor, forcing young low level female monks into his "service", and by service I mean a slave fighting force. I hadn't taken kindly to this, adopted the dress of these monks (they had a full body vine tattoo and other things that I also had... it's a long story, but needless to say, it was my mission to free them and kill the baddy). I followed one of the baddies lackies through the city and discovered their lair. I knew his minions would be gone at a certain point because the rest of the party was trying to keep this group from assasinating a local official. I waited for them to leave and snuck in to the lair, seeing not the baddy, but one of his leuteniants (sp?), fully nude and singing with his back to me. :eek: I approached him quietly and (saying these very words to my DM) grappled his ass. I had taken several feats from Oriental Adventures so my grapple could do some major stuff. Needless to say, I pretty much twisted off his head with my bare hands. :D The exchange afterward went as follows: DM: What do you want to do now? Me: Well, I want the monks to know that they can free themselves. DM: They'll be angry when they get back, they might attack you. Me: Yeah, and me with no party... (thinking) I'll leave them a message. DM: Ok? What do you want it to say? Me: I want to write on the wall in big letters "You're free, join Emaleth and your sisters and fight Keridau (big baddy)" DM: What are you writing that with? (Looking puzzled) Me: The naked guys blood. :devil: DM: NO NO NO NO! I'll change your alignment if you do that, I swear! Me: But it would be cool DM: Fine, then you aren't a monk anymore. :eek:
Kaio_Hiketes 02-24-06, 06:39 PM	I have another one (my friend reminded me this afternoon), but it's short. We were fighting a bullet in the desert. The rogue and myself had climbed a large rock before combat began, so we were actually above the creature watching it gobble up several NPC's. This is what happened on my next two turns: Me: :lightbulb What kind of a jump check would I have to make to jump on this things back? DM: Um. Not too high. You're above it. Me: Ok, I want to jump on it's back and punch it. DM: Next round. *Bullet's turn* DM: Knowing that there's something on it's back the Bullet jumps straight off the ground trying to shake you off. He jumps 60 ft into the air. Emaleth, what do you do? :devil: Me: What would I have to to do hang on? DM: Strength check Me: *rolling* 18! I ride it like a prize bull! :ayyyy!: DM: OMG! *laughing* Ok, you all see the bullet jump straight into the air and Emaleth, finding a crag in the armored back, manages to hang on, yelling "Yee Haw!" :rofl: *my next turn* Me: I want to flurry. *rolling* OMG nat 20! *rolled and confirmed* and an 18. :OMG! DM: How do you want to hit him. Me: I want to headbutt him. DM: *sigh* Fine. You all see Emaleth riding on the back of the bullet. She headbutts the back of it, knocking off some of it's armor. You hear a large cracking noise as it falls to the ground. You then see her punch her fist into the squishy inside of the bullet and pull out its broken spine with her bare hands. She is completely covered in blood and smiling. :cheer:
Koga:The ninja trick 02-25-06, 12:52 AM	Hold Monster on a magpie, then pee on it.. Just to prove a point..
SokenzanMarauder 02-25-06, 03:43 PM	127. My party was fighting a group of Dekanter Goblins and one just kept charging and critical missing (3 times in a ROW!) well, the third time it ran too far and too fast right into a wall and snapped its own neck. -Gene
Anodai 02-25-06, 04:04 PM	THis is 137 Me was walking down the hall in some forgotten, boring dungeon filled with kolbolds, when my dm desides he hates me (he also, coincidentally, hates peoplewho have mettalica stuck in their head) He sicks 400 of them on me. Now, my dm is also a retard, so he desided they would be holding a very large batering ram and would squidh me into a wall. the attack, i push back. Me=20, they=1. they fall over, dominoe effect, the last one falls down a pit. my retard dm desided the last one was a collossal oger and the rest failed the reflex save. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEE EEEEEEE E EE E E.......
Nightingale 03-01-06, 04:02 AM	This one time our party was adventuring in a crypt and we came across a hag who tried forcecaged our fighter and drained his strength. She then proceded to drag him into a flooded stairwell. The warlock(me) jumped ontop of our fighter and tried to shoot her in the face, I failed. Just as he wwas getting dragged under, our Psionist, Garret Goodbarrel, froze the water around her with a cold energy blast. The hag was now trapped up to her neck in ice. She tried to drain Garret's remaining strength, which was 1. He made his save, stepped up to the ice with his warxe and passed his profession-(executioner) check, removing the hag's head. I then proceded to kick the head into the opposite wall. Garret got 100xp for this kill.
Nightingale 03-01-06, 04:10 AM	Another good fight. Our party entered a stairwell, which led to a crying woman, who turned out to be a harpie. The psionist and the minotaur failed their saves and started walking towards the harpie. Me, the warlock, stared blankly for a second and then, seeing garret get hammered by the harpie, quaffed a bear's endurance, a cat's grace and a regeneration potion, conjured an eldrich blast and tried to fight the harpie. As we all know warlock do pitiful damage, so i started to get maimed. Just when I was about to die, the minotaur came too, saw the harpie with its back to him, charged, power attacked and got the bonuses for hitting flat footed and flanking. If that wasn't enough, he rolled a natural 20 on his roll, confirmed crit, and then buried his axe in the harpie's spine. All I saw was a surprised looking harpie with an axe blade about an inch from my face and a cut from the top of its head to its belt. We then took all its loot. 48,000gp.
Eagle_13 03-01-06, 05:46 AM	Last night at my weekly D&D session we had the chance to try out our new level 4 skills and feats we had just gotten. The evening was really for the barbarian Half Orc since she chose Cleave as the new feat. Every fight was no fun since we would let the barbarian hit everything and with cleave and a magical greatsword the damage was so massive that it was almost inpossible for the Barbarian to not kill two enemies in one turn. The best part was the look on the DM's face when this happenend and we just started chanting: GREATER CLEAVE!! GREATER CLEAVE!! At one point we were facing a few undead creators and the barbarian does her thing and there is only one left. At this point I look at my sheet and think "I have turn undead, lat me look it up for a bit here" after doing this I use it. Because it turns to run from me everybody else got an attack of oppurtinity. With all our weapons firing and hacking at ones we defenatly kill it. The DM turns to us and says" As it turns to run from you your friends start to hit it with all their might and before it can lift one food of the ground it is hit down into a bloody pulp on the ground. At this point I just want to do a victory dance put just shout out: What is the loot an these guys?
Derrhyn 03-01-06, 04:53 PM	141. In our to this day only sort of high level game (level 10 is not high, I know, but it was the first time above level 6 for me, so I had fun) We had a very memorable kill. The Party: Fighter 10, Rogue 10 and myself Sorcerer 10. We were walking throgh a huge cave when suddenly a wyrm came up through the floor. (Later proven to be a Purple Wyrm) We all started to have at it, but the Rogue had a lousy weapon and couldn't overcome its damage reduction and decided to hide in a corner. The first two rounds I hit it with empowered fireballs, which hurt it a lot, and the Fighter was throwing some good punches as well. Then the wyrm decided to swallow the fighter. Next round the fighter cut her way out which was a bad move since the wyrm was doing a lot more damage when she was outside than inside. So after another swallow, she decided to stay inside the stomach. But then came the problem for my Sorcerer who suddenly had no fighter to cover her. After another fireball, I was swallowed as well, and took a lot more damage inside the wyrm than the Fighter. The Rogue could still do nothing and continued to hide. After thinking a bit I came up with a brilliant idea, and polymorphed into a black lotus plant, with the intent to poison the critter. Our DM looks through the books and says: "Well the Purple Wyrm is immune to all kind of poison so no damage done, but the Fighter should roll fortitude" The Fighter fails her fortitude and dies immediately. So there I am. Stuck inside a Purple Wyrm without a way to get out. So in my next round i come up with another idea. "I'm gonna polymorph into a blue whale" The DM looked at me and said: "Can you do that?" "Yup, anything up to Gargantuan" (IIRC) I said. "If you wold like something else, I can transform into a Gold Dragon if you want to." "No need for that" the DM said "Blue Whale will do just fine." He then rolls (fortitude I think, with a lot of minuses) for the wyrm, before he says: Well. The wyrm is blown up with a big splash. There is goo all over the cave, and your enemy is dead." I cant wait to use that trick again. :cheer:
Egarb 03-04-06, 10:35 PM	142. Not exactly a kill but..... My DM is running a 10th level party, I got killed and reincarnated as a black bear. With the level loss I ended up as a level 9 ninja bear with a +26 to jump checks (13 ranks & +7 str mod, and +6 for ninja stuff, and It turns out it should have been 31 as I forgot to add my +5 for my boots of strding and springing). So we end up fighting gnolls (no levels) outside the town that are raiding, mostly a diversion while the DM writes stuff down since we have multiple fireballing wizards. I killed a few Gnolls, and since I was new to being a black bear (and lawful evil) I roared "I'm going to eat you!". The DM informed me that a Gnoll about 15' away turned around mooned me, and smacked it's butt at me. After the round ended (and the wizards racked up around 800 kills), I ask "Can I see the gnoll that made fun of me?" I made a spot check and saw it 35 feet away. I immediately responded "I can jump that." Everyone cocked their heads and looked at me funny. I made the jump check and landed on the gnoll in front of the one I was aiming for and knocked it unconcious, then grappled the target gnoll. Next round I dealt 11 subdual damage to it and jumped back to the party, I now have a pet gnoll :D . I explaied to the gnoll (a female I dubbed Gnolletta) that it could serve me and I would arm it and whatnot, or it could be bad, and I would eat it. I'm the only one in my party with a sentient pet.
Yoshikata 03-05-06, 02:24 AM	Well this was very humiliating experience... The DM had us running threw a Forest the party was a Fighter, Ranger and 2 Paladins I was one of the Paladins. Me and the Fighter specially the fighter were pretty overpowered we were about level 6. We are going threw forest and we find this big tree with a door we open it, it messed completely but we roll listen checks and we hear a roars we get kind of worried. We find a little house with an old man in it we ask if he knows anything odd about this forest he says just IT w ask what is IT? All the sudden 3 logs come rolling down a hill into the noise and killing the old man. So we are pretty worried so we start walking into a big open field and we here the bushes moving I jump in and grab what is in there and the DM says roll the dice I roll a 2 he rolls a 20 I find out it was a grapple check against a deer then the deer rolls to attack me a 19 it hits... I roll again to take control of the grapple I roll a 1 again.. The DM rolls a 15 the deer sees the Fighter and runs off. Everybody has laughed since that I got grappled by a deer and got attacked to make matters worse before that I was already low on hp so after the deer attacked I had 13 hp left... The rest of the party and the DM never let me forget about that.
Rome_Leader 03-05-06, 08:10 AM	DM (Me): You are approached by a large, thuggish goblin, who appears to be the leader of the clan you have just destoryed. He trips you and your weapons and spellbook go flying. What do you do? PC: I reach into my bag and pull out that loaf of bread from a month ago I didn't eat. I flail it at him. DM: Roll D20 X3 PC: TRIPLE NATURAL 20'S! DM: :OMG!
cypherx 03-05-06, 04:31 PM	dragon was about to eat my poor poor bad luck wizard. just as the dragon is about to swallow, my wizard throws in some ruby dust...and a delayed blast fireball. the dragon dies with fire going out two ends. my party saw a warforged jump off a sky bridge. my idiot pc swings under the skybridge with a grappling hook and see the warforged hanging from the bottom. they proceed to play chicken, until the pc knocks the warforged off after 5 tries. mirage arcana+bottomless pit. goodbye tarrasque. my druid was stuck in a force cage and gets 1 turn a day (duration 24 hours). on his turn the three witches come to cast again, and he uses his rod to summon an elder earth elemental...in the cave. underground. on the first turn i had my dm have the elemental raise the floor under one of the annis and smash her into the ceiling (the elemental became the floor). she took massive and died on a critical hit. the next one died in his four attacks, and the last one got away.
zlatko 03-06-06, 09:00 AM	146ish While playing an ebberon adventure, as an overwhelming encounter of CR7, for our lvl3 party, appeared a wis/sor appearing dead woman, 2-3 human fighters, 4 zombies, 4 skeletons and a guy who set us up in the beginning. As it was obviously a slaghter situation, the wiz baddy started to speak; "I apologize for the inco..." when both the parties wiz and I went "Turn undead" and "scorching ray". I destroyed the undead and he crit hit the wiz and turned her to ashes. The rest just rolled over.
stargate525 03-06-06, 02:07 PM	Me and two friends were infiltrating a manor to steal a goblet for some guy somewhere. PC A, being a rogue, jumps onto the ten foot high wall surrounding the manor and proceeds to try and spot the guards. PC B, being a moronic Barbarian, decides that the rogue is taking to long, and CHARGES the wall, thereby knocking the rogue off the wall and into a nearby barrel of apples. The Barbarian has now found the guards, and is engaging them, while I am trying to get a spell in edgewise. The rogue, having dropped his weapons in the fall, throws an apple at a guard, crits, and kills him.
Steel_Dragon 03-07-06, 10:44 AM	"Number one hundred thirty nine" Yells the young Ranger, he waits with great anticipation for a reply from the vastness of the internet. Then, out of the blue, a sound file clicks on; 'chirp chirp...chirp chirp', the sound of crickets chirping quite blissfully.
Dark_Sesshomaru 03-07-06, 03:01 PM	I was DM at the time. The three players were crossing a 100 foot rope bridge that stretched across a huge crevice in the mountains. The more eager unpredictable characters suddenly jumps over the side and with some amazing dice rolls, manages to use his grappling hook to reach the bottom. The other two players just sat there waiting for him to return...but after a while, they slowly climbed down to retrieve him. When they got down there, they found several monstrous spiders(huge) hovering over a white cocoon shaped like an average human. So they immediately attacked the spiders. After a while of battle, there was only one player left along with one spider. The other two players where tightly wrapped in silk cocoons. The last player, which was a ninja, failed a grapple check with the spider...so the spider picked him up and began to wrap him up with silk(kind of like how the spider wrapped Frodo in LoTR). The ninja made a last attempt to stop the spider before his arms would get bound. So he held out his Katana and made an attack roll. Natural 20. So the ninja barely saved everyone by slicing up the creatures underside in the same manner as an airplane propeller would. XDD
Fanged Fremont 03-07-06, 03:51 PM	139: While investigating rumors of a copper dragon in the area, the party happens upon a cave where a red dragon is harrassing the copper's half dragon kid. I win initiative and shoot it with my flintlocke (guns being a rarity and thus kept for special occasions) dealing 28 points of damage. Not too bad I thought for 1d8 + 4d6 sneak attack. The Paladin goes next, and uber charges for 100+ points of damage. The dragon rolls a 1 and dies from massive damage. Me: Well I softened him up for ya. 140: Another party taking a shortcut to town comes to a roadblock made by bandits. The bandits however are being chomped by two young green dragons and an older black who happen to be passing through. The party decides they need help and release their warlock captive to fight. So it's a druid, a daggerspell mage, a monk/cleric, and a warlock vs 3 dragons. The druid is urged by the other players to send in her wolf companion. With reluctance she does. Three rounds later the wolf gets the killing blow on the smallest of the three dragons. The daggerspell mage drops the other green with a scorching ray, and the black seeing his companions fall decides to flee. The black had 8 hitpoints left. The daggerspell mage launches an empowered magic missle after him and drops the black in mid air. 141: Not really an enemy but still a NPC since the player wasn't there. In an evil campaign the party has driven off the inhabitants of a small thorpe by luring a large group of ghouls to the town. While investigating the church, a very lavish one for such a small community, the party finds a trapdoor with 3.0 darkness cast on it. After much poking, prodding, and being grabbed the party finds out theres some kind of monster below the darkness. After stabbing through the darkness with spears and dropping a flaming barrel of wine through it, the party decides it's time to hop down. Me (Mind Flayer): Hey Ray, make a will save. Ray (Troll with a will save of 1): Oh crap, uh, 4? Everyone expects me to have the troll jump down the hole. Me: You think it's a good idea to drop the rogue down the hole. (the rogue character being the only non monster and non evil member of the group and joined mid campaign was thus seen as expendable.) So down the hole he goes and we hear him roll down a flight of stairs. Turns out there was a mimick down there, and after a long battle with it and some animated statues, we find the rogue dead, full of glooey substance in the 'belly' of the mimic. The player took his character's death pretty hard.
scottfavre 03-09-06, 03:06 PM	142. Several years ago one of the PCs in a game I was running made the most memorable kill in the campaign during the final climactic battle. First, some background: the character was a human ranger named Volas. She should have been one of the most powerful melee characters in the group. She landed a grand total of 2 hits during the entire campaign (starting with fresh level 1 characters, ending with mid level 4). One of those hits was a CdG. The other resulted in this memorable kill. The party was tasked with destroying an alter that was the focus for the spell that summoned a nasty aberration that was currenty trashing the main army. They make it to the ceremony chamber and find a couple of orcs warriors, an orc sorcerer, and two trained manticores. Volas squares off with one of the manticores as other characters go after the rest. Throughout the entire battle (probably 20 rounds) the manticore and Volas exchange misses. At the end of the battle, they are the only two still fighting, so the party sorceress tosses one of her few remaining spells at the manticore and takes it down to 1 hit point. Volas looses it. The conversation went something like this: Volas: I rage. DM: You're a ranger, you can't rage. Volas: Fine, I throw my weapons to the ground and jump on the back of the manticore. DM: (Realizing this manticore with 1 hp is the last monster left in the campaign, goes with it) OK, roll dex check DC blah to jump on and grapple check to stay on. Volas: *rolls* I make it. I try to rip the throat of the manticore out with my teeth. DM: OK, roll a melee attack. Volas: *rolls* I got a blah, does it hit? DM: Yes, roll damage, 1d3+STR Volas: Crap, I rolled a 1, with strength, that's 2 DM: You rip the throat out of the manticore, blood sprays all over you. Volas: I take out my knife and skin the manticore. DM: You're not really lawful good anymore, are you? Volas: No, can I make some hide armor out of the manticore pelt?
WeZil 03-09-06, 05:19 PM	This is an Eberron Campaign, and we're fighting the big bad evil guy wizard on an airship summoning up a storm and sicking his goblins on us. Our party is a hobgoblin ninja/assassin, a warforged fighter, a gnome artificer, a khalashtar mind blade/pyromancer, a cleric/marshal, and me, an Ogre Barbarian/Hulking Hurler (Note: Not an 'lol omg 2355234234234d6 damage' kind). I took the rock throwing, fling enemy/ally feats from the Races of Stone. The airship captain is knocked unconcious, and in the ensuing chaos, the ship begins to tip to the side. Hefty balance checks are now required in order to keep from falling to one's death, oh fun! I'm pretty hellbent on getting to the wizard, but I was stripped of javelins a bulk of the proper throwables fell off the airship when it tipped. All I had left was his elite goblin body guard keeping me still. So I figured he'd have to do Me: I'm grabbin' him. DM: Make a grapple check. Me: Natural 20! Score! DM: Make a grapple check. *Roll* Me: Hmm... 46 DM swears. Next round, another grapple check, and I have him where I want him. So, now having a metal clad goblin in my grasps, I have something to throw at hte wizard. Which is what I do. I roll a 19, the wizard is hit square on and fails his balance check. Falls to his doom. In the ocean. Everybody was ****** becuase now we couldn't grab that staff we needed from him...
Steel_Dragon 03-09-06, 05:25 PM	...145...
Robert_Fox_Kitsune 03-09-06, 06:23 PM	I've only played ONE GAME, but am really getting into it. Nevertheless, I play a Rouge, and in that game we had a few funny kills. XD I picked a lock, whatcha know, we can hear LOTS of goblins chanting on the other side. Rather than letting me sneak in...and assasinate one before the party follow, the necromancer took a strgnth check, picked me (halfling) up, and tossed me into the room Apparently our DM took pity on me, because I became a ranged weapon and after the (critical) rolls killed one goblin by banging him into the wall and another when his sword fell from his hand and hit the one beside him. Later on, we found the baddy. This kill was impressive and lucky. not funny We found the evil wizard...he was already dead, but the spectre was still tossing fireballs about like noones buisness. Unfortunatly for me, my necromancer had taken on ghost form and was chasing our other party member, a drunken dwarf, around the house scaring him. So while she was messing around in disguise and our dwarf was furiously failing stregnth checks, I was on my own Aafter somehow lasting two rounds, I ran. But being the greedy rouge I am I wanted the treasure we came for! (into roleplaying) Turned out it was just what I needed./ I found a necklace of fireballs in that chest, so whilst the holy light from it blinded him, I unleased 6d6 of fireballs at that wizard. Left a pile of melting robes ;)
Wonton2006 03-14-06, 11:26 AM	Not as funny as some of the stuff I've seen here, but it was great at the time. So, this party consisting of level 4-5 characters (a druid, a sorcerer, a rogue, and a fighter) were returning from a fishing expedition. They were all in the same boat, and there was another boat behind them with a couple of half-elven fishermen in it. Suddenly, we saw a black shape approach their boat underwater, and then the boat started shaking. They fell into the water and were horribly mangled. The shape (which turned out to be a Blackskate) then approached our boat and started making passes underneath it, during which it would shake it. Both the rogue and the sorcerer were trying their best to hit it with a couple of crossbow bolts, but pretty much all but 1 had missed. So, aftere a couple of rounds, the Blackskate made another pass. DM: The creature goes underneath your boat again, and starts shaking it. Roll balance checks. Sorcerer: 18 Rogue: 23 Druid: 16 Fighter: uh... 5? DM: ... Fail. You fall overboard. Fighter: Can I try to fall towards the thing? DM: Why? Fighter: Maybe I can hit it on the way down, who knows!?!? DM: Alright, roll a Reflex save. Fighter: *rolls* 17+3. 20. DM: You succeed. You twist around in the air, and fall in the direction of the creature. Fighter: I'll try to hit it with my bastard sword. *rolls* 20! *rolls for crit* 20! Everyone: Lucky... DM: You hit it. Roll for damage. Fighter: 2d10+12 (the guy had 18 strength and weapon specialization) *rolls* 10 and 10! Uh... 32. Everyone: :eek: DM: *checks his notes* You, uh, kill it. Everyone: :eek: DM: So, basically, what happened was, you were knocked off balance, then managed to twist around in the air, and fall towards the creature. You then took your bastard sword and drove it through the creature's head, killing it instantly. Everyone: :eek: Ah, man, we had a laugh.
Ataur 03-19-06, 01:27 PM	Me=barbarian ME- how badly hurt does that ogre over there look to my char? DM- dunno, lemme look..... pretty shakey, he's bleeding bad. ME- I'm going to attack it. DM- your bow broke last round, remember? ME- oh, yeah...crap.....hey! where's the halfling? DM- he's right there next to you, why? ME- because i pick him up and throw him at the ogre. DM- are you seriou.... ME- (rolling) natural 18 for grapple check + modifier (success), 20 on strength check for distance (success), crit on damage (confirmed). what's the damage. DM- ....um.......like 26...he's dead. ME- woo hoo!! HALFLING- (to me) you're an ass. :dancin:
ShadowDragon8685 03-19-06, 02:59 PM	How come these things never happen when I try them? Usually they wind up screwing up horribly, and making me look like an ass. Sigh.
Dei 03-19-06, 08:35 PM	Here's a couple from our last game: First, we're riding merrily along through the High Moor when we get ambushed from underground by a trio of Horrid Umber Hulks. The battle rages on with us taking by far the worst of it and eventually we're forced to retreat with two left, both of them wounded but all of us similarly banged up. DM: Well they're coming for you, so are you gonna keep running? You can out-distance them. Psion: Nope :D Maximized Dominate! DM: er... that's a will save isn't it, what's the DC Psion: *some number in the mid 20s due to all the wierd feats and abilities he pumped into it* DM: *rolls* um, well, it's failed. Psion: Cool, now I tell it to kill the other one. DM: :blink: *looks up spell description* you watch with glee as the creatures turn on each other and tear great chunks off one another until the one you'd dominated goes down. The other one turns to you and seems to be about to attack. Fighter + Rogue: Well it's about 150 feet away so in the three rounds it'll need to get to us we can get about 18 arrows off at it :D DM: It goes down... We all gave the psion a lot of room for a while after watching that :P The second one's not technically a result of something we did but nonetheless hilarious: We're halfway down what is basically a deep shaft with rooms at several levels with the shaft open in the floor and ceiling of each. We're in the room below when from above Orc snipers appear. DM: And they start taking potshots at you. *rollage* DM:... well they've all missed you... and, um, *rolls again* DM: :raincloud make a reflex save to avoid the orc who slipped and is currently plummetting towards you. (we use a two 1s in a row is a crit failure and I guess that's what happened here) Me: *rolls* about 30 do? (VERY acrobatic fighter build :cool: ) DM: Yeah, you duck away. Meanwhile, the orc goes AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *Ker-unch* PARTY: :clap: :dancin:
Gurthoron 03-20-06, 11:28 AM	I have a recent one from my Star Wars campaign. The PCs were invading a hostile building and found the armory. A droid bodyguard (roughly equivalent to the Super Battle Droids) opened the door and immediately got shredded by the E-web facing the door. The party argues a bit about how to get it, then the Wookiee grabs the Kushiban (little squirrel thing) Jedi Counselor and does a side-arm throw to pitch her in the room. Good attack, tumble, and balance checks have the squirrel standing on the E-web facing the gunner. Her lighsaber promptly comes out and she cuts the guy down, all the while chittering happily about getting to fly. Damn squirrels.
Steel_Dragon 03-20-06, 07:41 PM	>>>155<<<
Carnor_Jax 03-20-06, 10:16 PM	156 We had a group of 9 level 4's and our DM was having a rough time giving us appropriate encounters. Finally after having us ruin most of the things he threw at us he finally snapped and gave us a CR 9 hulking corpse with 20 HD. Needless to say we were not making much progress in killing it. It had taken out part of our party and it needed to be stopped. So when our DM was watching TV instead of playing the game I decided to teach to concentrate on the game and "rolled" a confirmed crit hit with my large Great Axe on a broken good Baleen whale character. As the strongest member of our party i had previoiusly been the guy to set traps in order to take the damage and save everyone else so I was arguably the strongest member of our party (we had 3 ECL 4 half dragons with us btw). Anywho I did something like 70 damage or more (with buffs from the party clerics) and took it out. After the game I told the DM about it. He was not too amused but he realized it was ungodly for our party.
dragonseth 03-22-06, 09:02 PM	This is actually a few in one fight. We had a party of 6 level 11's. Before a fight with the mini-BBEG we lost our Duelist to a vorpal tusk from a boar. :eek: So, we were undermanned. We went into the fight against: a level 15+ shadowcaster, two runic guardians, 2 ephemeral hangmen, and something else I'm not sure. Needless to say, it was going to be slaughter. My monk got his wisdom reduced to zero with three castings of Afraid of the Dark. He got Coup-de-Graced but survived :eek: then we took out the BBEG quite funnily. We made up a plan the night before. Our local tank had a burrow speed, so he went 20 feet under the BBEG and its runic guardians...collapsing the tunnel. They fell into a 20-foot pit. The golems hit eachother, and we treated it as slam damage. They owned eachother. Next, our skill monkey assassin dumped 100 flasks of acid in the pit from a bag of holding, dealing about 351 damage to the BBEG. Most of it got shunted to the guardians though. But it took him to 6 life. He ported out, and gave up. He begged for his life, but the said assassin sneak attacked, true strike, invisible, charged him after some healthy but pointless dialogue on him surrendering and promptly killed him in an after battle phase.
Dei 03-29-06, 09:11 PM	158- Same party as my last post, all level 14. Me: highly acrobatic dual weilding fighter/rogue Ghost: A very adept rogue Lysia: Cleric of Lathander with no small ability Jaques: Our resident psionic The lesser BBEG is eight feet of adamantine sheathed orc with 20 fighter levels under his belt and a suit of armour and spear that both register as semi-artifacts on a detect magic and a contingencied heal spell so it's a really tough fight. Anyway, the fight drags on and while we've whittled him downa fair bit despite the heal our psion's rapidly running out of power points and his zerg rush of astral constructs has for the most part been filleted so we're beginning to wonder if we can really actually take him. Then we note an important fact, he's standing at the edge of a hole, a large one. Me: :schemes: :lightbulb Er, Jaques, I know he's got spell resistance and all but does the ground he's standing on? Jaques: :D *psionic disintegrate to try and pull the rug out from under him and send him into the pit. DM: er, okay, make a ranged touch attack and a psi-craft roll to use it in the correct way. *rolling rolling* er, okay, guess he needs to make a reflex save. *rolls* :eek: ... um, which he's cocked up rather spectacularly and slips backwards, dropping his weapons in the process but just managing to cling on, pulling himself back up slowly. Ghost: Um, it's my initiative now isn't it? Is he flat footed? DM: um... yes. Ghost: sweet, rolls to hit (note, up till now he'd hit him about once, without his shield bonus and with flat-footed penalties though...) :D 3/3 hits all of which get sneak attack. *rolling more usually seen during a fireball barage as 21d6 of sneak attack are cast* Um, that's... 13... 25... 47... 83... 92 in total. DM: um... 92... wow, uh... surprisingly enough your three arrows inserting themselves into his cranium discourages him from holding on and he plummets down. Several rounds later there's a rather impressive thud. Party: :cool: Get the loot bag out boys!
Gondoras 03-29-06, 09:37 PM	This was a definite DM intervention. We had a new player that was experienced in gaming, but it took a while to get his character set up and caught up to the campaign (probably about 2 hours.) Mainly because he was intent on getting XP in any fashion. He had to impress the king of the town. To do it, he had to hit three dummies with three magic missles. To add to the task, he had to avoid the two guards that stood between (X I X I X). If he hit them, he'd be beheaded, basically. Well, it turned out that his first magic missle missed its target, but tagged the guard with a critical (DM intervention) the missle sprays off and hits the two dummies beside him. Instead of beheading, the king was amazingly impressed and asked him to do it again with the other guard!!!! We figured after 2 hours we'd have to wait another 2 hours to reroll and everything. Great DM intervention :)
ressurrector 03-30-06, 01:15 AM	This was a definite DM intervention. We had a new player that was experienced in gaming, but it took a while to get his character set up and caught up to the campaign (probably about 2 hours.) Mainly because he was intent on getting XP in any fashion. He had to impress the king of the town. To do it, he had to hit three dummies with three magic missles. To add to the task, he had to avoid the two guards that stood between (X I X I X). If he hit them, he'd be beheaded, basically. Well, it turned out that his first magic missle missed its target, but tagged the guard with a critical (DM intervention) the missle sprays off and hits the two dummies beside him. Instead of beheading, the king was amazingly impressed and asked him to do it again with the other guard!!!! We figured after 2 hours we'd have to wait another 2 hours to reroll and everything. Great DM intervention :) How The Hell? Magic missile is an auto-hit spell, no rolls involved AT ALL except for damage! You sure he wasn't using an orb spell or something?
Nived 03-30-06, 02:05 AM	In a game I was running a player of mine was playing Alexander a whip wielding Wizard/Rogue/Arcane Trickster (whom we lovingly called the red neck wizard). He wasn't the most min/maxed character in the world... but he was entertaining. I think they were around 10th level at the time, but I can't remember. Anyway they were defending a town against a raid from Disir (A monster from Dragonlance). The elf was off trying to save some children, the monk was rallying the town defenders into a charge... and the Alexander decided he was going to take on the leader. The leader was obvious by the magic headband he was wearing whose effect I forget... But the point is they were squaring off. Alexander darted in and cast Darkness, making a melee touch attack to cast it on the headband... thus plunging them both into darkness. The battle waged the disir flailing around in the darkness, Alexander swinging his whip around. Miss chances all around. Then came a round where Alexander declared he was going to "Impromptu Sneak Attack" and what do you know... he crits... with his Flaming Burst whip. And makes his miss chance roll. "The battle wages on as the brave townspeople battle against the vile creatures. Upon the crest of the hill, the globe of darkness bobs back and forth, with the occational snarl or curse being called out of it. Suddenly a boom is heard, and the inky black globe starts to tumble down the hill at great speed, atop the crest of the ridge stands Alexander, flaming whip in hand, and the headless corpse of the disir leader." Ever since he's been casting darkness on people's heads trying to replicate the feat... and his goal in life is a vorpal whip.
metaridley18 03-30-06, 02:55 AM	I have no clue what number this is, and I'll just let others argue about that. That being said, this story amused me greatly. We were playing a mid level campaign (10, I think), and a new player had just joined as a sorceror. I was DMing this campaign, and the party had just located the central hideout for some cult that was planning to burn the world. Anyway, they were standing outside the barn that served as the gateway for the cult's hideout, debating on whether or not they should enter and begin blasting. The party sorceror heard only the word blasting. Then, the party watched as a huge Talon of Tiamat/Fighter walked into the barn. This Talon has a story. They had encountered him before. On average, his breath weapon did over 100 damage with a reflex save of 38. He was the bad*** NPC. They did not want to screw with him, so they turned, and tried to walk away. The *new* player sorceror remembered the word blasting, remembered barns were flammable, and remembered he had fireball 8 times per day. Soon after he hit the broad side of a barn with a fireball (ha ha), a very ****** Talon burst out the front doors and fried the whole party in one breath. Oh, did I mention this was the first encounter this new player had ever done? Imagine that...killing the entire party on his first move....needless to say, he isn't allowed to play spellcasters anymore. :D
notmesmee 03-30-06, 03:11 AM	The DM wanted to eliminate some of our stuff and kinda kill my player so he threw a black dragon at us that was about 10 CR above the group, first round it flys up out of it's acid pool and i throw my dwarven thrower at it hurting it and no one else hits it, seconed round i try and hit it's wing with the hope that it brings it down, luckly i roll and nat 20 and re roll to confirm and to my supprise i roll another nat 20 and this point i'm haveing a heart attack(not really) and ask the DM what's his rule on double crits and he says two with confermation is death, needless to say i roll a 18 and kill the dragon before it has gone...the DM banned me from his games for this one
donteatdave 03-30-06, 01:01 PM	My DM once threw a wicked mounted halfling at us. The halfling used the mount to stay out of our reach while hitting us with ranged attacks of various kinds. My halfling monk, Garret, speeds up to her and she uses a blowgun to shoot a poisoned dart at him in melee. Unfortunately, he misses on the AoO. DM rolls, hits, and suddenly I remember to read my da*n feats. I point out that not only does Garret have Deflect Arrows, he has Snatch Arrows as well. So, poisoned dart caught, still "unused." 5% chance to be poisoned fails, and so on my turn Garret stabs her with the dart, inflicting only 1 damage. Trouble is, the b**** is in no way immune to poison, fails her initial save, and takes a crapload of Con damage and dies.
Helmed Horror 03-30-06, 06:08 PM	Captain Optimization, (not his name of course) was playing a half-ogre half-dragon fighter death machine in a modified forge of fury game. With the persuasion of our DM, he sucessfully was able to drop a mercurial greatsword (did I mention he liked optimization?) successfully on an orc 20ft below him. Oh not only did he hit the poor orc, he crit'ed. The poor orc was nailed to the ground by a large mercurial greatsword through his skull into the ground.
LivingShadow 04-02-06, 01:28 PM	my half- giant barbarian uses stomp on a green hag right nex to the stairs, hag gets three natural ones for the reflex save (amazing critical failure in my game), hag fell down three flights of stairs taking a huge amount of damage, :OMG! and we found her dead at the bottom
big_bluto 04-06-06, 08:27 AM	Last night we were playing and the 4 PC's were in a huge fight in the city, trying to beat a disciplined phalanx of hobgoblins who were forcing the town guard out of an alley, while other hobgoblins were lobbing flasks of oil and alchemist fire over the phalanx. On the rooftops were about 15 archers all shooting at the guards in the alley. The PC's are as follows: Xanaphia - Half-Elf Fighter (9), specialising in ranged weapons Durssi - Halfling Ranger(8), Assasin (1), general all-rounder Tunk - Half-orc Barbarian (9), specialising in melee and rock throwing Lidia - Halfling Rogue (9), specialising in saying stupid things at inopportune times The fight had gone on for some time, and the two halflings and the half-elf had taken out the archers on the roof, and had started taking out the soldiers in the alley, and the Barbarian had jumped on top of the phalanx and started to break it apart. Me (DM): Xanaphia, You're on the balcony overlooking the front of the phalanx. What do you do? Xanaphia: I grab the armchair from the balcony and throw it onto the those 4 right there (points out front of phalanx right below her position) DM (checks strength, all is good, so now for the melee attack with the heavy, leather armchair): Ok. Roll it. Xanaphia: (rolls) 20! (rolls again) Another 20! DM: (shakes head) I can't believe you've got a critical kill with an armchair! All the players laugh for a couple of minutes. DM: ( a few quick calculations) Okay, you've grabbed the armchair, lifted it over your head, and dropped it backwards into the alley, where it has immediately crushed the four hobgoblins, unprepared to receive a deadly sofa from the heavens. Xanaphia: Does it land upright? DM: (rolls percentage, and it comes up!) Yes.... Xanaphia: I jump onto the armchair. (rolls, beats the DC by quite a bit) DM: Okay, the guards in the alley pushing against the phalanx are surprised as hell when this big leather armchair comes plummeting down and crushes the 4 hobgoblins in the narrow alley in front of them, and stop in amazement at this change in fortune. They look up to see if this is the start of a rain of armchairs, and see a half-elf flipping over the top of the balcony above them, and somersault through the air, and land sitting sideways across the armchair in front of them. Xanaphia (OOC): Do I have to do it? DM (Laughing): Introduce yourself. Xanaphia: (to the guards) Hi, I'm Xanaphia, I love oranges and I hate cheese. What's your passion? (standard line the character has to say to anyone she meets) DM: The guards look at you in sheer amazement, having rescued them from almost certain death with an armchair of death, an amazing somersault, and undoubtedly the coolest introduction either of them have ever seen. DM: (Guard 1): Umm.....hi. DM: (Guard 2): Umm.....I love you? Quite a string of funny sequences that had us chortling around the table, and is bound to lead into a series of 'armchair of death' jokes for the rest of the campaign. :D
Dei 04-29-06, 08:01 AM	167- Our party always comes up with wierd and inventive ways of ending our enemies and our Psion has brought our DM to within an inch of banning psionics outright. But anyway, we were traipsing through Undermountain on our way to a Banite Temple and on the way passed through a Blood War Temple, the inhabitants were obviously very pleased to meet us and greeted us with the warmest hospitality one can imagine, well... there was a lot of fire anyway. During the course of the fighting our Psion used dominate to start trench-warfare among their archers while we hacked apart a few wierd cat critters. Long story short, we got through the temple and still had one fiendish harpy trotting along at our heels. We eventually came to a massive shaft that disappeared into the darkness beneath and above, our destination was fairly easily reached but the Psion wanted to know how deep the shaft was and so told the harpy to fly down as fast as it could and count the ledges which were roughy forty feet apart on the way down. The harpy obeys and we calculated it's speed flying straight down at ft640 per round. Problem was though... the shaft wasn't quite as deep as we expected... and the harpy bless it's black heart... couldn't really see very far in the darkness... We never found out if it was actually the bottom that it hit going at around 72 mph, but it was definately killed...
FighterDoken 04-29-06, 11:34 AM	Faced with an animated stone wall at level 5 and not sure how to overcome the damage reduction, our party's cleric and wizard formulate a plan... Cleric: So, the wall is made of stone, and we can't do a lot of damage to it, right? I cast "Create Water" on the wall. Wizard, ray of frost to freeze the water! *Wizard casts "ray of frost" on his next turn* DM: ...The wall breaks apart. :mad: Needless to say, he was so angry that we had dispatched that encounter so easily, he outlawed the use of "create water" for the next campaign! (hey, it was his ruling in the first place!)
dragonseth 04-29-06, 12:46 PM	We've pulled that one before. In fact, combinations of fire and ice spells are fairly common if we want to break apart stone.
aotrscommander 04-29-06, 01:38 PM	First... DM: The guards look at you in sheer amazement, having rescued them from almost certain death with an armchair of death, an amazing somersault, and undoubtedly the coolest introduction either of them have ever seen. DM: (Guard 1): Umm.....hi. DM: (Guard 2): Umm.....I love you? That is the funniest story I have read here. I nearly wet myself. 169 (I think) My worst moment yet as DM comes from a game we were playing in Rolemaster. I was relatively inexperienced at the time. The party consisted of characters from several centuries hence, except one guy, who was playing himself, all at first level. The group were deep in the bowels of Minis Tirith (don't ask), an encountered a Time Lizard (a temporally-flavoured draconian-type thingy). The party opened fire with everything they'd got, every high-tech weapon of ridiculous neeming-ness. The Time Lizard was shot by phasers, autoshotguns, machine pistols, laser cannons, laser pistols. They all missed. The Time Lizard smiled mockingly. The guy who was playing himself said 'right, can I throw a cricket ball at it?' I, nonplussed, told him he could. As I was feeling generous, and at the time Rolemaster didn't have a Cricket Ball attack table, I told him we'd resolve it on the sling table. He threw his cricket ball at the smirking time lizard. And hit it. In the chest. And criticalled. And caved in it's ribcage. The Time Lizard looked down at the gaping wound, and then back up at the party. It spake: "Well, crap." And keeled over dead. I have never quite forgotten this. 170 Same rules, same world, same group, different party, some years later. We were fighting the BBEG, a wizard at the top of the tower. My Ranger, Barathon, was busy fighting the animated tree he'd got and the rest of the party were elsewhere occupied. The evil wizard stood 5' from the parapit, casting devasation down on top of us. In a last ditch attempt, our mage, Rushven, cast Waterbolt at the wizard. He hit, inflicting a Impact-type critical, which he then rolled on the critical table. The critical result did some minor damage. It also knocked the evil wizard back 10'. From an 80' tall tower into rushing rapids. We didn't bother searching for the body. The DM assured us that the wizard was quite, quite dead. Edit: spelling...
DMaster42 04-29-06, 02:52 PM	171) The epic level fighter with +8 keen mighty cleaving flaming burst vorpal greatsword is about to kill the party when... he gets a critical hit on himself. (He rolled natural 1 on his attack and a natural 1 on his dex check. Then he rolled an attack roll on himself and got a critical threat and then confirmed a critical hit.) Ouch! cut his own head off.
feartheinvinceblehamster 05-18-06, 09:14 PM	These are both kills from a dark ages: mage game with a few houserules about magic and some other stuff I played in today (this was the first session) that I did or was involved in the doing of 1: We see a lesser drake, and one player fires an arrow at it, causing it's stomach acid to fall everywhere. :eek: (that's important to the next one). I then proceeded to create a box of stone around it and make the stone grow spikes, basically impaling it around 70 times at once. I get 50 exp, which is a very high amount of XP in that game, and then the guy who fired the arrow said something like "I should get that much! I fired an arrow at it!" Intermission, during which I convince the player to use air magic to save the stomach acid, and the NPC enchants a bag to keep it in. I spend my experience points to up my fire pillar A LOT, and then as soon as we enter the city of brass I decide to show off by blasting a gout of fire into the sky. It was around 95 feet tall, and caused the brass of the city walls to heat up, giving two people heatstroke. We are swarmed by an angry mob, and I say I will cool their city down, and use magic to make it rain. Several people get steam burns. 2: The NPC pulls out a flask with the stomach acid into the mob, and I wanted to solve this nonviolently, so I tried to use magic to catch it. Instead I pushed it further into the crowd, killing about 30 people. The session ended around there. Next session I plane to just send a wave of flames into the crowd.
Shavin_Ruaiat 05-18-06, 10:14 PM	Well i was DMing a game and the party of level 16's had killed a sand giant, they had removed his sandblaser waepon and the druid decide to use the rope he had to tie the sand blaster to his dire bear. So a short while later the party encounters a small group of enemies. so on the druids turn he decides to have his bear stuff the sandblaster with sand and then he procieds to jump on the button, he rolls and burries the enemies in the sand. While at the same time his bear flies back from recoil into a nearby wall almost crushing the Druid. It was very funny.
Copper_Coins 05-18-06, 11:34 PM	Well, I don't know if something similar has happened (I read Page 1 then skipped the rest.), but heres mine: We were a 2nd level party, I think. And were sent down into a wine cellar to kill dire rats (as you do). I basically killed them all (we were party of 4, there were 5, I think.) by pushing over a wine barrel and rolling it over them all. :D
Gideon_Gideonson 05-19-06, 12:12 AM	Can't remember if I posted this here before... The two best enemy deaths I've come across: 1. This was in an Eberron party, when we were caught underground by a living fireball spell. At 3rd level, we couldn't manage to deal enough melee damage to even hurt the thing. Luckily, there was a single 15x15ft pool of shallow water in one of the dungeon rooms and my Orc Barbarian had grabbed an adamantine door, which he was quite fond of. So the scene that resulted was that of three powerful fighters knee-deep in water and huddled frightened behind a door, while the gnome sorceror stood his ground and fired magic missile from his wand for 25 rounds straight. Not the funniest kill, but a great death scene. 2. The best death scene I've ever come across was in d20 modern. My party was trying to save these scientists from a mystery assassian, who I ran into upstairs without knowing who it was. Since she seemed interested in helping us (damn bluff check... :mad:) I invited her down to assist us. As soon as she got down, she started to kill the scientists. When we tried to stop her, she took off her hood, revealing herself to be a medusa. Not good news for a 2nd level party. Anyway, she sucessfully petrified two of our party members, and it was down to the Elf Strong Hero and me, the half-satyre Fast Hero. Being a police officer, I tried to quitely call for help on my cell phone. The medusa apparently heard me, and came to investigate. She grabbed the phone and, keeping her eyes on me so I couldn't do anything, scrolled into the call history. The Elf decided to give one last attempt at survival. He grabbed the medusa from behind, covering her eyes with his hands...then rolled his grapple check---a 2. We were done for...except...the medusa rolled a nat 1. So, naturally, I shot her point blank with two high explosive rounds from my Desert Eagle handgun...scoring 2 crits. Her save against massive damage was...another 1! Long story short, our CR 16 foe was neatly defeated by two level 2 characters. In addition, we got all her personal gear, including the important mafia ring information we shouldn't have gotten for another 14 levels. Our DM was ready to kill us. :D
Kirie 05-19-06, 12:38 PM	PCs - Klia (me) - Human Wilder with Astral Contruct via Expanded Knowledge - Lvl 8 Serannin - Elan Psychic Warrior/Monk combo, going into Drunken Master - Lvl 8 Alexa - Human Kineticist, has a thing for fire - Lvl 8 Argyll - Human Fighter/Ranger, big guy covered in weapons - Lvl 8 the Cheat - Argyll's animal companion, a bobcat NPCs- Scott - Goblin Rogue/Fighter. On our side after we decided to save him instead of kill him when he provided us with information. He has an uneasy truce with Argyll, but gets along well with the other PCs. - Lvl 7? Aleya - Incarnate Wilder. Kinda crazy, but a sweet gal. Gragnog - Blue Telepath/Thrallherd. Originally a villain, but has a temporary arrangement with the PCs to work together and destroy Telis Telis - Big baddy. Illithid Lich. Originally the DM didn't plan for us to go against him, but he ate the brain of one of the other NPCs, a PsyWar named Tiberius, who Klia happened to be in love with. So, she made it a mission to kill Telis, and everyone else figured it would be better to help her than to let her go on her own. 178 - So, final battle of this story arc in the campaign. We fighting in, well, Telis's bedroom, an odd 2 story balcony job. Telis keeps teleporting around, leaving Argyll and Serannin to kind of chase him around. Scott parks himself on the top level and takes potshots with his arrow. Alexa's throwing the psionic equivalent of fireballs after Telis. Klia realises that her mind affecting powers don't work so well against Telis, so she spends 3 turns pumping out contructs, and then spends time running around healing and getting off her own energy spells when possible. Gragnog's Thrall dies pretty quickly, but Gragnog sticks around, trying to get a Dominate spell to work. Then, things go kind of ****ed up. Telis teleports us all to a different plane. It doesn't change our powers really or anything, but we float instead of walk, and it does hinder movement. Eventually we get our bearings. Serannin and Argyll are able to actually take some swings at him, and in addition to the contructs, Telis starts to get beaten up pretty badly, but not badly enough. At this point, Telis lets a pretty powerful... something after Klia, and she's KOed. Her constructs are all still around, but she can't direct them. DM's ruling was that they would just follow her last orders, which were to attack Telis, so they eep doing so. Just after that, Gragnog, in some amazing twist of fate, manages to get a Psionic Dominate off on Telis (he rolled a 1 on the save). It is suddenly revealed to us that, hey, Gragnog's still pretty evil.... he didn't want to kill Telis, he just wanted to dominate him and keep him for himself! He doesn't have quite enough time to dimension door and get the hell out of there, so he has to wait till next round. Now, it would normally be Klia's turn, and she's gone, but her 3 contructs aren't. Under DM control, each of them goes after the now-Domainted Telis, and only the turn after he was domainted, Telis goes down, killed by the contructs who were left to free roam after he KOed their creator. Once Telis died, we went back to the bedroom. Everyone else took a couple pot shots at Gragnog, but he left before any did anything. We kind of clean ourselves up, people try to heal Klia, and her contructs are still pounding at the corpse of Telis, until a few seconds later when they all vanish.
danhenry 05-19-06, 07:52 PM	Well, my story doesn't quite include a death. But I do recall me and my friend being 2 level 1 characters, looking up this mountain at what seemed to be a very powerful Ogre (little did we know, it was an Ogre MAGE!). So, curiousity caught the cat, we climbed the mountain, and came close to the Ogre...AND BEGAN TO ATTACK IT! First round, we both win the initiative...I roll out the dice... CRITICAL! A hefty 40 points of damage. My friend goes up next... CRITICAL! Another hefty 30 some-odd points. And the Ogre Mage flies away :D. The DM wasn't expecting us to kill it, but we took it down real good. Quite humorous if you're there. tehe.
BladeBoy 05-19-06, 08:42 PM	Well, my story doesn't quite include a death. But I do recall me and my friend being 2 level 1 characters, looking up this mountain at what seemed to be a very powerful Ogre (little did we know, it was an Ogre MAGE!). So, curiousity caught the cat, we climbed the mountain, and came close to the Ogre...AND BEGAN TO ATTACK IT! First round, we both win the initiative...I roll out the dice... CRITICAL! A hefty 40 points of damage. My friend goes up next... CRITICAL! Another hefty 30 some-odd points. And the Ogre Mage flies away :D. The DM wasn't expecting us to kill it, but we took it down real good. Quite humorous if you're there. tehe. How on earth did two level 1 characters do 70 damage i one round? that's not possible, even with super twinking. 180: It was a arena fight, a 4th level ftr/rgr 1 vs a double rapier wielder. The fighter went first, missed, barely. The opp. rolled a crit miss, and confirmed it..with BOTH rapiers. So he impaled himself twice. next round, the fighter, misses, by the curse of the dice gods. The opp once again, rolls a double crit miss with both..again, and jerked them out, while killing himself. the fighter never hit once, and the opp killed himself. It was so sad, I cried a little.
ProfWhy 05-19-06, 10:55 PM	How on earth did two level 1 characters do 70 damage i one round? that's not possible, even with super twinking. Well, let's presume for the moment that these are half-orcs with 20 STR... (have to make presumptions, since there wasn't anything specific stated about the characters, aside from being level 1...) If wielding a Greatsword, a crit could deal 38 points maximum ([12 for weapon + 7 (2-handed) for STR]x2)... If wielding a Greataxe, a crit could do 57 points maximum (19x3)... If wielding a Scythe, a crit could deal 60 points maximum (15x4)... Even wielding a Heavy Pick could crit for 44 points maximum (11x4)... So, it's not like it COULDN'T happen... just pretty rare, I would think...
dragonseth 05-19-06, 10:56 PM	How on earth did two level 1 characters do 70 damage i one round? that's not possible, even with super twinking. I might beg to differ. He said he critted. Let me take a crack at this. :D Nat. 18 Strength + 2 Half-Orc 20 Str. Barbarian- 1 Raging, +4 Strength 24 Strength, 1 BAB Power Attack as 1st level feat (+2 damage for 2-handed weapon when subtracting 1 BAB) Wielding a Scythe PA for 1, damage is 2d4 + 12 Multiply that by 4 for a crit, you get 8d4 + 48, meaning MINIMUM above 40 damage. :D And that doesn't even take into account the second guy. Note: Keep in mind this was hasty calculation, there might be an error somewhere. Edit: Ah crap, beat me to it.
Ysera_the_destroyer 05-20-06, 09:45 AM	Okay it was a 18th level campaign. I was a ranger 18, the other characters were narok a half-troll Bbn 1 Ftr something and rest of levels were frenzied berserker, a wizard, and a druid. We had just gotten into a fight with a really good wizard and his many minions. The wizard had all of the protection spells cast on himself, as we learned afterwards, except for protection from death. The DM had spent a really long time preparing this adventure to and im pretty sure the wizard was supposed to run away through a secret shaft after we dealt with his minions. He was central to the plot. anyways the wizard got highest initiative and went first. on the very first round of combat he cast finger of death on the wizard. he failed his save. Everyone except the DM laughed for a really long time and the DM got really ****** at us. Nevertheless it was a good moment.
Kraleck 05-20-06, 10:37 AM	A fellow player (and new friend) that I met a few weeks ago had this one. Situation: Gimmick-style battles in an arena. 80 ft stone pillar with a block on top surrounded by marshy terrain with a krakken underwater. How to win: Place both hands on stone block for three consecutive rounds. Players: Half-Ogre Barbarian, Gnome Wizard, and Dwarf Fighter versus Human Blackguard. What Happened: The krakken reached it's tentacles out at the Half-Ogre and Dwarf (Gnome was in Half-Ogre's backpack), who quickly lopped of 3 tentacles. The Blackguard started climbing for 1 round. The Half-Ogre rushes to the pillar and reaches the top first, keeping his hands on for a round. The Blackguard was near the top after that round and if he had put his hands on the block it would have negated the Half-Ogre's time. In a stroke of brilliance, the Half-Ogre pushed the block on top of the Blackguard, crushing him to death. The Dwarf hurried over and put his hands on the block for three rounds, winning them XP and prize money.
Spabio The Great 05-24-06, 02:57 PM	The other week I had a pretty good kill: To set the story, we're a 3rd level party who just recently regained our memories and are not entirely healthy when we run up against some Hellhounds (2, I think). Being a cleric, I step back to cast buff spells if needed and heal spells when needed. We're getting down near the end of the battle, and I see there's only one Hound left, so I cast Magic Stone on some pebbles I picked up and threw one at the Hound, rolled max. damage and dropped the thing. Our fighter, who had had trouble hitting the thing, was rather miffed that I had taken his kill away from him with one little hit.
Meshakhad 05-27-06, 10:14 PM	In a recent online game, the party leader (a dwarven fighter nicknamed R who wields a hammer, rides a rhinoceros, and is terrified by fire) attacked a sphinx with his hammer, while I (a kalashtar kineticist named Meshakhad with a thing for fire) shot a fire ray at it. DM's description: R and the rhino charge the sphinx, it is tossed in the air by the rhino's attack and the hammer of R turns it into a red mist while the ray of meshakad flies right through the vapor sending it ablaze. R's response: As the bloddy Nalpalm flies through the air, R starts having a bad panic attack, but manages to calm down and pull the rhino back. He spits at the mist and insults its parentage. Red faced, he turns to face Meshakhad, unbridled rage in his eyes... "Please don't do that again?" He says in a high-pitched and strained voice. He uses the rhino for cover and starts changing out of that set of leggings This game should be hilarious. Oh, and having R be a pyrophobe and me a pyromaniac? That was R's player's idea.
balor_of_the_demonlords 05-28-06, 02:51 AM	ok so we're hired by this bartender to kill the owners of a zoo and set all the animals free, so we find our way to the zoo(through a door on the floor of an alleyway. The wizard and I(who were the only ones in the party), go down this spiral staircase until we see a couple o' kobolds. I push said kobold, kobold hits other kobold, they die rolling down the stairs. :eek: In the same campaign, but another adventure, we(same people) have to help the village priest gain back his followers, who were converted by a dwarf cleric. After convincing the followers, we were confronted by the cleric's bodyguards, who would easily tear us to shreds. Thinking quick, we tell them that the followers were fighting a battle for the cause of the cleric. When they asked where, we gave them diections to a one way portal to the nine hells we had found in our first adventure. :D
Method 05-28-06, 11:10 PM	Level 1 party, we were lost in a jungle. I was playing an aristocrat (more starting gold) who had 24 flasks of acid, a couple days of food, and 4 wisdom. :D DM: As you walk through the jungle, you notice that something smells horrible. Like rotting flesh mixed with the sweat of someone who hasn't bathed in two years. Everyone roll spot checks. we all roll, some get quite high. DM: Okay, you see that what looked like a lump of rock in the distance is actually an sleeping ogre! the rogue starts sneaking up to it to sneak attack, everyone else readys to charge when it wakes. Me: I say quite loudly, "Hark! An evil beast! We must vanquish it!" DM: *rolls some dice* Okay, the Ogre grunts, stands up, and sees you all. It charges the rogue. I stood back and started chucking flasks. I knocked it AND one of my party members unconscious, and brought another down to 2 HP. And that is why I dump Wisdom. Oh, and that character died soon after by trying to kill a crocodile while wounded. Jokes on him though, I was still carrying around a lot of acid. That's one crocodile who's missing a stomach. :D
rone_leah 05-30-06, 09:03 PM	characters: 2 lvl 8 rogues (one with a glass jaw), 1 lvl9 female dwarf fighter, 1 lvl9 wizard, 1 lvl9 ray specilist wizard, and me fighter/occult slayer/rogue/shadow dancer (don't ask). we were trying to get to a temple in the mountains and I recently lost my horse to a thunder storm and we come across 2 robed figures and a b-e-a-utiful horse and I say lets kill'em and take the horse the glass jaw rogue says no lets talk to them. Note that they haven't seen us yet. As he gets up their he notes they're demons and he has an inteligent demon bane short sword. Will save he fails and attacks the demons first attack crit dead demon and steps up to the next one and the other rogue is behind it and the dwarf beside it. My turn I throw a lightning javelin and scream you ***hole at the glass jaw and he drops, and the demon drops wizards didn't need to go. I ask do I get xp's for the rogue.
Vasquine_DeTsar 05-31-06, 03:33 AM	That was just unintelligible.
dragonseth 05-31-06, 09:49 AM	That was just unintelligible. If you haven't noticed, this is a forum: a breeding ground for unintelligible english. :D Though, this is better than a lot I've been to. #Whatever this is) These technically weren't ENEMY kills, but they are still funny. First campaign was level 6 at the time. It was reaching the endgame because a new semester was around the corner, and the DM decided to end it with us fighting a dragon (and probably losing). My guy was a Warforged Artificer (you'll notice a patern here in a second). He was created by a friend of the dragon. We were asked to find said dragon, and fill her in on what has happened with her friend. Well, the friend died on the way there. And, the rest of the party decided they didn't like me (IC, not OOC, you'll also notice a patern here). We get to the dragon, and the party tells the dragon that I killed the friend, and they'll offer me to her if she lets them go. Well, she no longer cared for her friend apparently. She ended up killing the whole party, but before that I had something like, "You were at one point my master's dearest friend, if you wish me dead, so be it. I shant disobey one so close to my master." BAM. Suicide. It was a complete jaw-dropper to the rest of the group. And I think it convinced the dragon that I didn't do in her friend. :D #Last one + 1) Next campaign: Level 15 Gestalt. Good times. I had never played Gestalt before, and my last guy died kind of abruptly, so I remade him. 15 Artificer/15 Battle Sorcerer. Not the most optimized build. I made him have a golem, as did my other incarnation of him. But, this golem ended up being a problem. I tricked this thing out like you wouldn't believe. Had something like 600 HP, 50 AC, 15d6+27 damage, 8 attacks on a full attack, this thing was a monster. Seeing how quickly I pulled this off, I figured he'd have a hard time keeping up with the rest of the party, as they'd been making their guys for a while. So I went in as hardcore as I could with the golem. Well, we get to the first fight, and I find out some numbers: AC's: teens-20 range. Attack Bonus: 20 range. :twitch: I ask what the deal is, I can make a level 2 guy with higher AC than that. Apparently, virtually everyone except the DM, me, and one of my other friends in there, Bob, were all relatively new to D&D. But, even with being semi-new, they'd been playing all year! I thought at least some sort of knowledge would come of that. Oh well, back to my story. Our mission culminates (once again) in the party disliking my character IC. He's apparently conspicuous riding on top of his 32 foot tall iron golem. And the party wants to be stealthy (Coulda told me beforehand, guys!). So, we are in a dungeon: my guy charges in front door to make a distraction. The rest of the party sneaks in the back to find baby dragons. I rip through some guards, and find a hallway with spell turrets all along the side of it. It doesn't look too pretty. After the first few hit, I realized that my golem could take the hits, but my actual guy was gonna have a problem. So I backed out. The rest of the party found a Mirror of Opposition, and killed their duplicates. So, they moved on, found the dragons, and left. I'm still trying to make a distraction, because they decide NOT to contact me and tell me that they succeeded. Instead, they tell me that they need help. They say that they get trapped in a mirror in that room. So, wanting to help, I head for it. What do you know, I now have a gigantic 32 foot tall monster of iron to fight, with a me on top of it. Well, I manage to get the heck out of there with a few spells, and run away so I can prepare to fight it later. I tell the rest of the party something like, "You guys set me up, I'm gonna go rat you out to our employer." The Raptoran in the group had a head start flying to town, she was going to tell the guy that I went berserk and am coming to kill him. But, with a combination of spells, and my golem's being able to run without getting tired, I beat her there. But, the town sees this massive thing flying towards them leaving wreckage in its wake, so they send out the town guard. This is where the campaign ended, two days early. The way it was heading, I was going to fight the rest of the group. And it wouldn't have been pretty, for them at least. I would've been fine. :D I don't think it was going to end early, it was going to continue, but I was going to have to retire my guy. Then, I was told that we weren't meeting. So, two incarnations of the same guy both died essentially, due to the rest of the party's actions. I need to make a mental note here: If I make a Warforged Artificer, people don't seem to like it, and will take every opportunity to screw me over. :P
Settra 05-31-06, 01:05 PM	This is how one of the players in my party ruined the last fight against the BBEG: We were all standing near the edge of a cliff with a drop of 1000 meters. The DM, being very confident of the BBEG abilities, had placed him on the edge of the cliff, figuring that if anyone tried to bullrush him off the cliff, he would simply trip them with his attack of opportunity. What the DM didn't remember was that our human fighter recently had taken improved bullrush. As the BBEG was in the middle of telling us all his plans before would give us the choice to join him or die, the fighter remembered that BBEG was partly responsible for the fact that we had been on the run from the law the last week, so he decides to bullrush him. This was a rather nasty surprise for the DM, but he figures he can just roll a climb check to hang on to the cliff or land on a shelf using slow fall. What he didn't expect was that our fighter decided to join him down the mountainside, grappling him so that he could not hold on to the wall. Both died when they hit the ground (of course), and the rest of us stood at the top dumbstruck....
Voldar_Mecorthio 05-31-06, 09:06 PM	Okay, players are chasing the BBEG through the sewers, he's supposed to get to his boat and sail away, screaming profanities. However, PCs have a different idea: one of my players decides to light a match. I reward creativity, so I say that the sewer gasses detonate and the entire city shakes. BBEG is killed in the explosion, and I make a quick edit to the plot.
Ahroun21 06-01-06, 11:58 PM	our party elven ranger(me) human fighter human cleric gnome monk human paladin human sorcerer all lvl 1 our first encounter was with 3 wargs in a clearing deep in a forest. all we were equiped with were daggers. after a few rounds the fighter decided that it wasent worth trying to save the rest of the party and started to run. as he ran by the gnome he picked him up wiht the idea that if he could save one party member was better than none. the problem arose when one of the wargs ran in front of him and blocked his path. in one of the most cumpulsive acts i have seen he used the halfling as an improvised greatsword and attacked the warg head on. with the gnome as a weapon he rolled a crit and killed the warg in a single blow. the gnome was knowcked to -9 because the fighter used him to hit the warg directly and the damage was taken by both him and the warg. when he did this everyone just stopped and stared at him, he imediatly dropped the gnome and fled leaving us to question what implications this might have for us now that two of our party members were effectivly out of combat.
Archangel62 06-02-06, 12:12 AM	I was the DM for it and it was pretty funny. Party was battling through a cave trying to save a girl that had been captured by a group of cultists for a sacrifice. (Cheesy I know but I was tired when I ran) Well, the cleric casts create water over the flaming altar after the rogue saved the girl. Doing this plunged the room into pure darkness. The swashbuckler decided to light a sunrod due to not wanting to be blind against the 6 armored Orcs that were near him. He activated, provoked an attack of opporunity I rolled a 1, rolled a 1 to confirm, rolled another 1.... To put it simply I rolled about 20 1s right in a row. That has never happened before and hasn't since, though my players believe that my dice decided to pay me back after rolling 19s and 20s for about 90% of the games I run. What I had happen was that as one Orc leaned to hit he slipped, hitting another ally, I rolled, rolled a 20 and a 20 to confirm, one orc Dead, Orc in death throws lashed out at nearby compatriot, 20 and 20 again, lather rinse repeat and they all fell to the ground. The orc was then slain by a set of 20s from the amazed swashbuckler who became convinced that the Soveriegn host had chosen him for something great.
Techneon 06-03-06, 09:58 AM	Good one today: Our party were sort of trapped in a sort of dream. This was the dream of a rather horror story like character w/ hordes of aberration-like minions. Our soulknife-rogue happened to have a magic carpet, and also carried our 'stash', in the way of a portable hole. Nevertheless the way we got to badly injure the guy (he couldn't be killed, but certainly knocked out while we escaped the dream), was to fly about 40 ft. above him, and then, while leaning over the edge of the carpet (being held there by our artificer) open the portable hole on the underside of the carpet, releasing our 4 full chests, 1x 650 pound banksafe (our one-trick pony, I mean, we acquired this from the late preist-of-cyric who met an untimely end when it became necessary to add his head to the soulknife-rogue's collection, and had been used as an improvised 'portable ram' to escape a basement, ah, good times :)), and whatever else we had in there came falling out. ~230 damage later (and a truckload of d6's) we managed to escape. We are a party of 7 level 5 chars, so it was certainly funny when we calculated the damage.
nephtis 06-03-06, 04:52 PM	Well, this was a very creative fight and kill from my players but I'll share anyway. I had their characters mirrored (stole the idea from some zelda game, I admit it) and set them up against a group of equally leveled, equally looking and equally equipped foes. They were mirroring the characters once they crossed a line and would start attacking independently the moment they were 'activated', meaning when the PCs attacked them (that group had a tendency to attack on sight, which annoyed me since they slaughtered even possibly useful informants for 'looking evil'). Barbarian is the first that steps across the line, sees his double, tries to speak to it (I was quite surprised there ;-) ) and attacks. The rest watches since he makes it a battle of honor to be able to win a fight against himself. They see that it's an even match that could go either way by pure luck and they decide on strategy. They step across the line, creating their own dopplegangers. And then one starts to give all his weapons to another party member. Mirror image mimics... Then the unarmed strikes, non-leathal damage but activated the image anyway... and the group fights the awakened image. Repeat... Boy that was difficult, since the unawakened images still mimiced the PCs but only the awakened one can actually attack and cause damage - but doesn't have any weapons... never had to take care that much of movement. Fun, and I have to admit I added some bonus xps for the interesting strategy.
ressurrector 06-04-06, 03:46 AM	Earlier today there was a fun one. This wasn't actually a kill, but it was a defeat. We were going up this hill where if you look backwards you are subjected to a gaze-petrification effect. We lost half out party on the way up (at the top there was water which could de-petrify so no biggie) On the top of the mountain were two very buff magical lions (legendary mabye?) The two remaining party members charge onto the top of the mountain, fail will saves vs fear effects, and run back down (one saving vs the petrify effect, the other, me, was immune due to two screwed up wishes interacting) So, I decide to run back up, taunt the lions (they can speak common and were intelligent) and try to get them to chase me down the hill, and possibly turn to stone on the way. One fails his will save vs insults (and me being nice and bite-sized) and chases me down the hill, and turns to stone. The other one is left alone with our druid, who made it her pet kitty.
Artix_the_Incarnate 06-04-06, 04:09 AM	Lets see, which one to pick? My personal favorite involved a rather dumb halfing and permancey. So, our party consisted of me, a human wizard, a human rogue, a dwarf fighter and a halfling rogue. So, the halfling wants me to casr shrink person and permancey on him. So, after becoming nearly a foot tall, he decided he was going to be the best thief in the world. What he didn't realise, was that the dwarf fighter in the party had decided that he would make the best projectile weapon ever. So, we are at this corrupt nobleman's house while he is asleep. The halfling (which had decided to then call a pintling) says, "I try to sneak silently into his bedroom and steal that ring we need." We all wait silently outside as he goes in. After about ten minutes, he comes running back out screaming to us, "Run run run run run!" As he yells, some rather nasty looking guards come charging out after him. The pintling charges straight to hide behind the dwarf, because he was the fighter. The dwarf scoops him up and flings at him at the guards. The pintlings response, "Are you serious? I hate you," as he flies through the air, the DM tells the dwarf to roll the d20 to see if he hits. A natural 20. So...The pintling(who happens to be wearing a very pointy helmet) flies through the body of one of the guards. Yes, that is right, through. That moment changed our opinion of that tiny guy forever.
Gryllmyre 06-05-06, 02:12 AM	My ranger peeked over a cavernous ledge to look for drow guards. One of them seemed to be by himself, watching for intruders. I loaded up some drow poison on my arrow and wanted to put him to sleep. Instead, I critted him through the head and he fell without a sound into the raging river far below. Ok, well that works too...
HeartbreakerHabberdasher 06-05-06, 08:09 AM	As a rogue, I specalize in picking locks (When I'm not DMing). So this time, we were charged to find a staff in a mansion. After desposing of some guards, we find the door to the treasury, or so it seemed. I walked up to the door, looking at it and turned back, starting a conversation: Me: So do you want to do it the quiet way or the easy way? Everyone else: Easy. Me: Okay, Master Dwarf (lvl 10 fighter), come here and hit these hinges off, will you? Dwarf: Okay (Knocks off hinges). Me: Now, can you knock down the door? (Dwarf Knocks down door on unsuspecting guard, killing him instantly.) Whao, that was crunchy.
draco1119 06-05-06, 09:15 AM	Not really funny, but pretty amazing kills: My priest of Tempus goes into a berserker rage in the middle of a horde of skeletons and starts spinning like a top while wielding a Dwarven Great Maul. He stops spinning and tosses the Maull at the ceiling of the room we were in (we were at the top of a tower). Then, the DM allows him to cast Sunscorch while still in the rage to kill all the undead. :w00t: Other one: My Level 1 Bladesinger vs. a Lesser Basilisk. Blind-Fighting ability, so I toss my cloak up over my head. I know I'm gonna die, but I try to give my 3 teammates a chance to kill the other one and get away. Roll a natural 20 with a longsword, and do 30 points of dmage. So far, so good. The basilisk misses horribly, so I take another swing. Another 20. Another 30+ points of damage. And the thing's toast. Singlehandedly killed a creature with 5 HD at level 1. I was impressed, and so was the party. Especially since I killed mine before they killed theirs...
babysalesman 06-06-06, 10:26 PM	ok so this isn't as funny as some of the others on here but i think it's worth a mention... this was first campaign ever (i'm a nooblet) and it was organized horribly, characters weren't even fully finished and the DM sucked.. but anyway, that doesn't matter. so i'm a drow rogue and my party was in a town mindlessly killing orcs that were there. the woodelf ranger was around a corner of a building fighting two orcs and my rogue hears the commotion and sneaks around behind the orcs. there are two trees behind them and i do a climb check to get up there and i succeed, then i do a jump check to jump out with my sword drawn and fall sword down to (hopefully) kill the closest orc. well by this time the woodelf had killed one i believe and the second was almost dead, so naturally, i fail my jump check and just kind of fall out of the tree. now my drow was kind of small, about 130 lbs but that was enuogh to kill the orc. ok, another one in the same campaign. we were going around to pillage and plunder the town total about 3 non-hostile monster inhabitants (crappy DM it was supposed to be a normal town). but i go into the house and there is a man, his wife, and their child. since my character was a mindless destroyer just like evryone else in the party i decided (using actually somewhat good judgement) to bluff the man into thinking there was a pile of gold up stairs... in his own home... and it worked. so he ran up there and i commenced to attack the woman and child. i go for the kid first and kill it in one hit. then when i attacked the woman i got a citical hit and i basically popped the woman with my rapier. this one isn't really a kill but rather an amazing chain of actions the eventually ends in killing. so this is in the campaign i'm playing in now and i'm a halfling LVL 1 rogue (i like rogues). we're playing an introductry campaign and we go into this room that's in an old mansion like thing we came across. to two hobgoblins come running at us and i was of the two characters (of 5) who knew goblin so i get them to stop running and find out they are there to build a camp, so i roll a +8 bluff check to tell them that we are there to help them build if they want use to, i got 23, they believe me. so then they turn around to go get supplies to start building and i walk up behind one and try to sneak attack him. i fail miserabley (i rolled a 5) and so the DM tells me i basically just poke him in the side with my dagger. well he turns around confused as to what i was doing and while he turns i drop my dagger and fake stumble, then tell him that i tripped, i rolled a 19 (total) so he believed me. and turned aroudn again. i was going to try sneak attack again but my party wouldn't let me and then two characters, since it was still free action, shot them both and killed one and whatnot, but i ran over to a table then was in the room and roll a 26 hide check i think. and let me remind you, these are all level 1 characters. so i hide pretty darn good. when the fighting is over i drop myself from under the table (i was hiding using the lips of the table to hold myself up right underneith the tabletop) and the DM says, "wait! *rolls* you take 1 point damage." i was upset at first but then decided it was more funny than bad. so i laughed.
GoldLeader13 06-07-06, 05:20 PM	I didn't kill them with this, but it was rather humiliating for them. My wizard was leaving a town while being hunted by a crimelord's minions. I noticed four of them following me along the road about a mile outside of town. At the time, I was solo. No backup. I silently tossed up a Wall of Force behind me and took off running. The four thugs gave chase and crashed head first into the invisible wall. :evillaugh That gave me about a minute to run, hide, and set up an ambush while they palmed around like mimes looking for the ends of the wall. I wiped them all out efficiently in the ambush, but the real winner was Wall.
Radagast 06-08-06, 12:42 PM	Situation: Long-running campaign from level 1 to level 22. General notes: The party had a really bad habit of getting eaten by monsters. Oh, we'd survive, but hardly a battle with a big monster would go by without somebody spending some time in the monster's stomach. This prompted us to consider naming our group "Buffet" or "All you can eat"... Anyway, one monster we faced early on was a big, nasty blue Dragon. We had recovered an artifact and had a few high-level scrolls given to us to get the artifact - some of them, ironically, by the Dragon himself since he captured us and demanded that we get him the artifact. To aid us, he gave us a few scrolls of helpful stuff, but non-lethal stuff, and made it very clear he'd come for us to get the artifact once we found it. Well, he kept his word and descended on us from above... and then got smacked with a Maze spell. That gave us a few rounds to recover, and once he reappeared, we used the artifact against him. It produced a form of Prismatic Spray, and managed to get past SR and he failed his save... vs. being sent to the Astral Plane. That was the last we saw of him for a long time... until the end of the campaign. Then, we encountered the same Dragon (who, for various reasons, assumed we were long dead) serving as a steed/ally of the BBEG. Well, we got into a battle with our old nemesis, who REALLY wanted to pay us back for his embarassing defeat many years earlier. The battle raged on, and our Monk got eaten. Fortunately, thanks to our experience with having party members eaten, he was ready, and he ended up dealing the deathblow to the Dragon from the INSIDE! Very ironic!
Elemental_Master 06-14-06, 08:57 AM	I didn't kill them with this, but it was rather humiliating for them. My wizard was leaving a town while being hunted by a crimelord's minions. I noticed four of them following me along the road about a mile outside of town. At the time, I was solo. No backup. I silently tossed up a Wall of Force behind me and took off running. The four thugs gave chase and crashed head first into the invisible wall. :evillaugh That gave me about a minute to run, hide, and set up an ambush while they palmed around like mimes looking for the ends of the wall. I wiped them all out efficiently in the ambush, but the real winner was Wall. That is the biggest D&D cliche i have ever read. :P
Ront Iron-Roar 06-15-06, 02:51 AM	Funniest fights I've done. I was playing a Human Samurai (Scorpion Clan - Oriental Adventures.). We were confronted by a gang of Hobgoblins forcing use to pay a fee to use thier road. This is what happened. DM: The lead Hobgoblin stops the party. "This our road! You can cross it but you have to pay a fee or me and my buddies will be having human stew tonight." THe DM gives us time to do our actions. I was up first for my action. So I draw my sword and roll an Iajitsu Focus check. I get a high roll so in tandem with quick draw my character draws his blade slashes the hobgoblin and sheaths his blade. DM: The hobgoblin turns around seemingly okay as he looks towards its companions. Then in a surprised and muffled voice it says. "I don't think thier going to pay." THe hobgoblin falls in half. Another thing I found funny was when I was playing Ront at about 18th level. They were Cormanthor and he and this female Lythari Fighter/ Druid had just escaped from a abandoned Dwarven mine full or Orogs. Once more the DM has deprived Ront of his favored weaponry. So after getting captured by the Orogs prior to his escape from the mines he only has an adamantine spear with him. But, anyways Ront and Mori (The Lythari) are camping out in the woods. Their just about to have one of those fade to black scenes when suddenly Ront is hit upside the head with a sling bullet. The two of them were being attacked by Drow. Ront needless to say only had a pair of pants on and those were down around his ankles. Ront gets enraged and partially charges/ partially stumbled towards the drow with his adamantien spear. The end result of the battle ends with Ront getting knocked out with sleep poison after a crappy save and an augmented DC after killing a few drow. Ront wakes up about a couple hours later to find Mori gone and his spear missing and nothing but a rope, a cube of dirty mithril, in his backpack. So Ront goes and hunts down the Drow. The DMs feeling pretty smug now that Ront only has his fists and a stick. So Ront makes it to the border of the encampment of the drow. Luckily, none of them have seen him so Ront tries to figure out what to do. So he ends up getting a pile of rocks and makes a impromptu heavy flail out of his back pack, the cube of mithril, and the rope. Ront has a high strength and he was 18th level so I didn't really care about a a -4 penalty. The end of the session leaves several drow fighter/rangers smashed to death, Ront with a ragged and bloodstained backpack, and an Angry Mori in wolf form mauling a drow wizard.
Kuraito 06-15-06, 04:12 AM	Jace Garret and Karr Tasoni, a Human and Elf swashbuckler respectivly, are fleeing from a Drow city with their freinds, a halfling Rogue Gen Tassomani and a Human Bard Kain. So, we make it to the surface. The drow however, keep coming at us, heedless of the daylight (in this town, the soldiers were men, fanitically loyal to the high preistess. She had ordered our heads, they wern't gonna stop till she had them). So, the bard pulls out a winter blanket and lays it on the rather long ladder that leads from the drow city to the surface. Wait a few seconds, then pulls it away. A great many drow fall from the ladder and to their deaths, after bring stunned by the sudden daylight. we repeat this, as the idiot drow just keep coming, when all of a sudden, the preistess personal servent, a high level drow fighter using a Greatsword of DOOM, comes FLYING out of the hole, laughing at the daylight. We had taken potshots at him, but from what we saw, this guy was quite a bit stronger then us, hence our decision to run. He swoops down, strikes with his greatsword...rolls a 1. Hits himself. Karr leaps forward, slashes with his elven lightblade...rolls a 1. Hits himself. Jace likewise tumbles forward, slashes with his rapier...rolls a 1. Hits himself. The Drow laughes, swings, full power attacks...rolls a 1. Criticals himself. Dies. The DM discribed the scene thusly. DM: The drow flys out of the hole, swoops down and fumbles his sword, slashing himself across the cheast. Karr laughes, saying "That the best you can do?" Walks over and dilberatly cuts himself across the chest with his lightblade saying "Thats how a REAL man cuts himself." Jace, not to be out done, steps forward and says "Oh really? You think you little sissy elves can compete with this!?" Jace likwise cuts himself rather deeply. The drow, incensed at this point screams "I'LL SHOW YOU!!!" and then falls to his knees, burys his sword in his stomache, moves it to the side and upward...then promptly dies. He commited seppuku. Karr:.....you know, let him win. Jace: Yea, I ain't trying to out do THAT act. They then turn and see Gen, Kain and quite a few drow are just standing, staring at them, silent, as jace and karr bleed from self inflicted wounds while their captain lays dead, having just commited ritual suicide. They saw the whole thing. Karr: So...shall we continue Jace? Jace: Indeed, I don't think we're quite done yet. The drow flee back to the city. We, imbolden by our victory, follow...and proceed to take out the entire drow city, including its guardian, a giant spider around 4 CR above us and its Preistess, a cleric of similar CR, and its dozens and dozens of soldiers. All because one super buffed drow fighter gave us the courage by commiting ritual suicide. The loot from that town....100k at 7th level in pure loot...i love it.
Drodain 06-16-06, 12:08 PM	2 pc thing, i was a ftr, and my friend was a sorc. we were supposed to kill a suped up dire wolf in this forest, but we were low level so he thought we would build ourselves up with some training then go take it but instead i decided to go shopping :D me: i go and buy an alchemists fire, a bunch of oil, a bunch of tanglefoot bags, and a barrel dm: a barrel?? me: ya dm: ..alright so im carrying the barrel around with everything else in my pack, luckily for me i had a flying carpet it was smaller but in 3ed it was fast so i load everything up and go to the forest, i drop down and kill a deer or something nearby and set it up to look like its alive, badly but what's the wolf gonna know and i hid(friend was knocked out from fight before) dm:the wolf comes up and starts to eat the deer me:i launch a tanglefoot at him *rolls* dm:alright now he's.... me: i throw another dm:ok fine me: i get on my carpet and keep throwing them at him dm: (getting angry and somewhat realizing whats about to happen) fine me:now i throw my alchemist fire on him and then all my oil :evillaugh dm:ok hes still breathing me: i line up next to the wolf with my barrel over the edge and fly up as fast as i can in 2 rounds i dropped that barrel on the wolf...... :devil: dm: man *throws book* ur still lvl one!! now my friend and i are dying on the ground laughing
nunchuckgun 06-16-06, 04:53 PM	While making our way down the path of a treacherous and narrow mountain path forcing us to march single file, with a cliff wall to our left, and open sky to our right, we come upon a group of four baddies headed in the opposite direction. Our fighter, in the lead, immediately gets grappled, and is struggling to hold on to his footing. The party wizard, right behind him, smiles and cast suggestion on the second of the baddies. With no room to go back or forward, the single word "Run" and a failed will-save cuts down on the number of enemies we had to face by 1. Same campaign, many levels later, I was playing a druid with a particular fascination with fire. When we found ourselves in a corrupted chapel type place, facing the BBEG that the DM had reportedly spent hours making from scratch (he created his own class for this particular Evil Guy). I recognize him as a preist-esque type fella, and his two minions are both clerics. I win initative (somehow, I had a looooow dex), and cast flamestrike. The low roof is struck by the pillar of holy flame crashing down from the heavens, and not only does the priest and one of his cleric buddies take full fire and holy damage, they are crushed by a whole lot of rubble. The other four group members quickly dispatched the remaining cleric. :D